Bedroom

Score 0

Hobbiton RecallBy Jon Bardi, adapted to Gruescript by Robin Johnson. Images by Sora using ChatGPT

For instructions, click:

You are in your bedroom. A soft floral duvet covers the mattress. On one side, there’s a stack of paperbacks and a reading lamp; on the other, a phone charger and a half-used bottle of hand cream. A framed wedding photo sits on the dresser, surrounded by a few scented candles and a dish of loose change and earrings. To the east, a door leads out to the landing.

Exits:

Actions:

You can also see:

Save game as:

Really restart this game?

Display options

font:

font size:

Print room title in scroller:

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Landscape only

Never

List objects in scroller

Always

Landscape only

Never

This game was made with gruescript.

# '#' means this line (or the rest of this line) is a comment
# (if you want to output '#' during your game, use "&num;")
game Hobbiton Recall # Game title
id HOBB # game ID (used to identify cookies; should be unique on your site)
author Jon Bardi, adapted to Gruescript by Robin Johnson. Images by Sora using ChatGPT
version 0.0.1

person 2 # 2nd person, i.e. "You are in..."
examine on # if 'on', the verb 'examine' will be implemented by clicking nouns
assign maxscore 5000
status {$room.Display} | Score {$score}
 # '|' divides left and right ends of status bar
conversation on

#little chipping

assign taxilocation hobbington
assign butlerverb walks
assign daiquiri.drank 0
assign raining 0

tagdesc locked # you could also provide a description; otherwise...
tagdesc unlocked

tagdesc empty# you could also provide a description; otherwise...
tagdesc sleeping
tagdesc closed
tagdesc syringe holding a very long pointy syringe
tagdesc ringing
tagdesc unconscious
tagdesc dust filled with dust
tagdesc cellkeys carrying the cell keys
tagdesc jumping jumping up and down on the bed
tagdesc dead
tagdesc full full of toothpaste
tagdesc broken
tagdesc back clawing at your back
tagdesc blockedrock with a giant rock blocking the door
tagdesc onfire on fire

setverb unlock
has $this locked
!eq $held 0
has $held key

setverb lock
has $this unlocked
!eq $held 0
has $held key

verb lock
eq $held.locktype $this.locktype: {The $held} doesn't fit the lock on {the $this}.
untag $this unlocked: {The $held} turns clockwise in the lock.
tag $this locked

setverb sell
at inside_cash_converters
has $this sellable

verb open
has $this container
!eq $this.contents 0: There's nothing inside.
!eq $this.contents multiple
say Something falls out.
bring $this.contents
assign $this.contents 0

verb open
has $this container
eq $this.contents multiple
say Some things fall out.
assign $this.contents 0
assign container $this
all things
    eq $this.contained_in $container
    bring $this
    assign $this.contained_in 0

#verb action
#goto rekall_reception 
#bring machine_gun

#goto sandy_bay
#tag cottage_garden rain
#bring straw_pile
#bring machine_gun
#bring sausages

#goto elfvillage
#bring stonking_great_spliff
#bring skipass

#goto trollcave 
#goto secret_tunnel
#bring mel
#bring hobbits
#bring taxi_driver

#goto vip_area
#bring mel

#goto tunnel_like_hall
#goto bus_stop
#bring bus_ticket

#goto rekall
#tag urine_sample handed
#tag sandwiches eaten
#goto work
#bring urine_sample
#bring sandwiches
#goto lonely_mountain
#bring sack
#bring mel
#bring mysterious_box
# bring boss
# tag boss hobbiton
#bring badmington_racket
#bring mysterious_box
#bring red_pill
#put mel torture_chamber

# a room
###room hall You are in a comfortable Tunnel-like hall. To the east there is the round green door # internal name and description
###prop display Tunnel-like hall
##east gloomy
##verbs action

###room gloomy You are in a gloomy empty land with dreary hills ahead.
###prop display gloomy empty land
###west hall

###room nightmare Madness!
###prop display Hahahahahahahaha...
##verbs wakeup

###thing dancing_randalf  Randalf and Thorin dancing, insanity in their eyes
###loc nightmare

##room trolls_clearing You are in the trolls clearing.
##southwest gloomy
##north hidden_path
##southeast rivendell

##room hidden_path You are in a hidden path with trolls foot prints. ##To the north there is the heavy rock door.
##south trolls_clearing

##room rivendell You are in Rivendell.
##northwest trolls_clearing

##room bedroom You are in your bedroom
##prop display It was all a dream!
##verbs sleep

room bedroom_woke <div class="bedroom"></div>You are in your bedroom. A soft floral duvet covers the mattress. On one side, there’s a stack of paperbacks and a reading lamp; on the other, a phone charger and a half-used bottle of hand cream. A framed wedding photo sits on the dresser, surrounded by a few scented candles and a dish of loose change and earrings. To the east, a door leads out to the landing.
tags start # the player starts here
prop display Bedroom
east landing

thing bed A double bed
loc bedroom_woke
prop contents toothbrush
desc You look under the bed but can't see anything
verbs examine

verb examine bed
!has bed toothbrush
thingat bed bedroom_woke
say There is a toothbrush under the bed. So <i>that's</i> where you left it!
bring toothbrush
add score 25
hide bed

thing toothbrush
tags portable
desc A well-used toothbrush with slightly frayed bristles.

room landing You are on the landing. There are some step ladders here, and some white paint. Mavis has been decorating the landing for the last 3 weeks. You should get on at her to speed things up! There is a bedroom to the west and a bathroom to the north. Stairs lead down.
prop display The Landing
west bedroom_woke
down hallway
north bathroom

verb go down
at landing
!has toothbrush brushed
say You haven't brushed your teeth yet!

room bathroom <div class="bathroom"></div>You are in the bathroom. A toilet with a crack down the side is here, along with a bathtub with a crack down the side, and a cracked medicine cabinet with a mirror (with a crack down the middle).
prop display The Bathroom
south landing

thing sink
loc bathroom
verbs cleanteeth
desc A grimy white sink with a dripping tap and yellow tide marks.

thing clothes
loc bathroom 
tags plural wearable portable
desc A crumpled pile of yesterday’s clothes. Still vaguely warm.

verb remove clothes
!at lab
say This is neither the time nor place! Wait for bedtime!

thing medicine_cabinet medicine cabinet
loc bathroom
tags lockable locked
prop locktype cabinet

verb unlock
eq $held.locktype $this.locktype: {The $held} doesn't fit the lock on {the $this}. # message prints if assertion fails
untag $this locked: {The $held} turns anticlockwise in the lock. # message always prints
tag $this unlocked

rule
has medicine_cabinet unlocked
eq $foundkey 0 # uninitiated variables are treated as having value 0
assign foundkey 1
bring urine_sample: There is a urine sample inside.
add score 15

thing urine_sample A Urine Sample
tags portable sellable
desc A small plastic test-tube filled with suspicious yellow liquid.

thing squeezy_bottle
loc edge_of_dark_lake
tags portable sellable
desc A half-empty bottle with a mysterious label and oily residue.

verb cleanteeth
run clean_teeth

proc clean_teeth
carried toothbrush
say You give them a damn good scrubbing. You look at the toothpaste tube in your hand. <i><b>"Fallows Toothpaste - Minty, Creamy and Wonderful - use another toothpaste brand and you'll regret it."</i></b>
say
say Nice slogan - but it strikes you as having slightly threatening undertones.
tag toothbrush brushed
hide toothbrush
hide sink
add score 35
proc clean_teeth
!carried toothbrush
say You don't have a toothbrush

room hallway You are in the hallway. This is where you keep the stairs and the front door. It's the first room guests see when they enter the house, so you are very strict with Mavis about always keeping it nicely hoovered. The kitchen is to the north, and there is a cupboard under the stairs to the west.
prop display The Hallway
up landing
west cupboard
north kitchen
south front_path

thing front_door front door
loc hallway
tags lockable locked 
prop locktype front_door

verb go south
at hallway
!has front_door locked
!has clothes worn
say You go outside.
say
say A group of nuns on their way to Little Chipping nunnery point at you and scream!
say
say You run quickly back inside. It would be a good idea to make sure that you're not naked before venturing outside!

verb go south
at hallway
has front_door locked
say The door is locked!

room front_path <div class="frontdoor"></div>You are outside your front door. A little gate hangs off it's hinges at the end of the weedy path. 
prop display The Front Path
north hallway

thing bicycle your bicycle
loc front_path
tags flat
verbs ride
desc A rusty old bicycle with a suspicious wobble in the wheels.

verb ride bicycle
at front_path
!has $this flat: The bike has a flat tyre! It's going nowhere!
carried urine_sample: You forgot your wife's urine sample!
carried sandwiches: You forgot your sandwiches!
say You jump on your bike and peddle off to work!
add score 50
say
hide bagpipes
hide spray
hide tiny_key
goto work
put bicycle main_road

verb ride bicycle
at main_road
say You jump on your bicycle. For some reason it feels extremely uncomfortable.
say
say You get off the bike and realise - some bastard has nicked the seat!

setverb pump_up bicycle
has bicycle flat 
carried bicycle_pump
at front_path

verb pump_up bicycle
carried bicycle_pump
at front_path
say You pump for all your worth, and in two shakes of a lamb's tail your bicycle is as good as new again!
say You smile to yourself and wipe the sweat from your brow.
say You hope your wife appreciates you helping her with her chores!
untag bicycle flat
add score 25

room cupboard You are crouched inside the cupboard under the stairs. Nothing much here except cobwebs and some cleaning products which are your wife's department.
prop display Cupboard
east hallway
tags spider

thing tiny_key tiny key
tags portable key
loc cupboard
prop locktype cabinet
desc A minuscule brass key, barely the size of a thumbnail.

verb take tiny_key
at cupboard
has cupboard spider
say You attempt to take the key, but a large spider is crawling over it. You take one look inside the spider's eight eyes and decide you don't need the key that much after all.

room kitchen <div class="kitchen"></div>This is the kitchen, where Mavis cooks the meals. There is a table here where you eat breakfast, elevenses, brunch, lunch, afternoon snacks, dinner, supper and midnight snacks. You also like to eat biscuits between meals whilst sat here. There is a back door here.
prop display The Kitchen
south hallway
east garden

thing fridge
verbs open
tags container
prop contents multiple
desc An old fridge buzzing quietly. Probably full of out-of-date yoghurt.

thing herring red herring
tags portable
desc One herring (red). Looks like it could come in useful.
prop contained_in fridge

thing egg pickled egg
tags portable
desc A wrinkled pickled egg floating in cloudy vinegar.
prop contained_in fridge

thing sandwiches
tags portable sellable
cverbs eat
desc Two sad-looking sandwiches wrapped in cling film.
prop contained_in fridge

verb eat sandwiches
at picnic_spot: You don't want to eat them here. You prefer to find someone nice to sit.
say You unwrap your sandwiches and are startled to discover that Mavis has put Mayo on them.
say She <i>knows</i> you hate mayo!
say <b>You snap off a stick from a tree and use it to scrape the mayo off.</b>
say Munch! Munch!
say You eat your lovingly prepared corned beef and beetroot sandwiches.
say You can't help but notice that Mavis also failed to cut off the crusts. You make a mental note to give her a reprimand.
tag sandwiches eaten
hide sandwiches
put steak pub
bring stick
add score 55

thing wife Mavis
loc kitchen
tags alive female
verbs talk
desc Your long-suffering wife. She's wearing curlers and a tired, but patient, expression.

thing table kitchen table
loc kitchen
verbs sit
tags wife
desc A sturdy old table covered in biscuit crumbs and jam smears.

verb sit
thingat table kitchen
say You sit down at the table.
add score 10
hide table
here wife
run morning_convo

room garden <div class="garden"></div>This is the garden, where Mavis does the gardening. It's getting a bit overgrown at the moment, you shall have to put your foot down with your wife. There are no excuses when it comes to keeping a well maintained lawn! It's bordered on all sides by a wooden fence. Your garden shed is here.
prop display The Garden
west kitchen
north shed

thing cat a cat
tags alive sleeping
loc garden
verbs stroke
desc A plump black-and-white cat snoring softly by the shed.

thing rubbish rubbish bin
loc garden
tags container
verbs open
prop contents food_scraps
desc A plastic bin filled with questionable leftovers and buzzing flies.

thing food_scraps food scraps
tags plural portable
desc Bits of toast crusts, cheese rinds, and what might be a sausage.

thing hedgehog a hedgehog
loc garden
tags alive 
verbs stroke
desc A little hedgehog with tired eyes and a twitching nose.

setverb feed_hedgehog hedgehog 
carried food_scraps
at garden

verb feed_hedgehog
say You feed the little fella some of the foodscraps. He eats them with an air of melancoly, and crawls off under a hedge, revealing something glistening under where he was sat.
hide hedgehog
hide food_scraps
bring house_keys
add score 45

thing wardrobe
loc bedroom_woke
verbs open
tags container
prop contents bagpipes
desc An old wooden wardrobe, smelling faintly of mothballs.

thing bagpipes
tags portable sellable
cverbs play 
desc A dusty set of bagpipes with tartan trim and a terrible squeak.

verb play bagpipes
say They admit a horrendous screeching sound.
has cat sleeping
at garden
run scare_cat
add score 30

proc scare_cat
add cat.anger 1
!eq cat.anger 1:  The cat looks up at you in annoyance, and then returns to it's sleep.
!eq cat.anger 2: The cat jumps up, hisses at you to stop, then stretches out to try and resume it's nap.
say The cat jumps up onto the shed roof, knocking something onto the ground.
hide cat
untag cat sleeping
bring bicycle_pump
add score 25

thing bicycle_pump
tags portable sellable
desc A slightly dented hand-pump for inflating tyres. Smells of rubber.

thing house_keys
tags portable key plural
prop locktype front_door
desc A jangly bunch of house keys, slightly sticky.

verb stroke hedgehog
say Ouch!

verb stroke cat
say Nice kitty! The cat purrs softly in it's sleep.

room shed You are in the shed.This is where Mavis comes to have a little cry when she's having one of her 'episodes'. Not much in here.
prop display The Shed
south garden

thing spray A can of Insect-Be-Gone
loc shed
tags portable sellable
cverbs spray
desc A battered metal canister that promises to obliterate all bugs.

verb spray spray
has spray empty
say The can is empty!
verb spray spray
!thingat spray cupboard
say Not here, there are no insects about. And it's also highly toxic so should be used with caution.
verb spray spray
at cupboard
has cupboard spider
say You spray the litte 8 legged bugger into kingdom come!
untag cupboard spider
tag spray empty
add score 25
continue

verb sleep
goto bedroom_woke
say You roll over and go back to sleep. There are no more bad dreams, and you sleep soundly until the alarm clock wakes you at 7am. Noises coming from the kitchen tell you that your wife is already up.<br>

setverb open
hasall $this closed container

setverb close
hasall $this open container

verb open chest
has $this closed
say You open the chest. It contains a curious map, and a fashionable hand mirror.
bring map
bring mirror
untag chest closed

thing map a curious map
tags portable
cverbs read

verb read map
say You read the curious map. It makes no sense at all!

thing mirror a hand mirror
tags portable
cverbs use

verb use mirror
say You gaze at your reflection. Last nights spaghetti can be seen in the midst of your straggly grey beard. You give yourself a grin. With horror, you notice all your teeth are rotten. Throwing the mirror to the floor, it smashes...and you look around the small tunnel like hall desprately searching for some toothpaste. But alas, there is none to be found as one by one your teeth drop out of your mouth and fall to the floor. You scream and Randalf and Thorin dance around you, laughing...laughing...laughing...
hide mirror
hide map
goto nightmare

thing chest a wooden chest
loc hall
tags container closed

thing randalf Randalf the Wizard
name Randalf the Wizard
loc hall
tags alive male conversation
prop desc A tall, silver-bearded wizard in a tattered cloak, with eyes like distant storm clouds and a pipe that smells faintly of elderflower. His staff crackles with a quiet, unseen power.
prop start_conversation Randalf fixes you with a knowing look and strokes his beard thoughtfully. "Well, come on then," he says. "Speak your mind."
prop end_conversation Randalf turns away and begins muttering incantations under his breath, lost once more in ancient thought.

thing thorin Thorin
loc hall
tags alive male conversation

verb talk thorin
say "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." He says.

thing hideous_troll The hideous troll
loc trolls_clearing
tags alive male conversation
tagdesc carrying the gold key

thing vicious_troll The vicious troll
loc trolls_clearing
tags alive male conversation
verbs talk

verb talk randalf
eq $score 0
random x 4
!eq $x 1: "There's no time to lose young Hobbit, darkness surrounds us!"
!eq $x 2: "You must go on a dangerous quest, young Hobbit. I hope you have some sensible shoes to wear."
!eq $x 3: "The time is nye. We must act soon lest all Hobbington perish!"
!eq $x 4: "Look lively, we can't wait all day!"

verb talk boss
!at tennis_court
!at outside_cave
!has boss hobbiton
say Mr Fallows looks at you with scorn. "I have better things to do with my time than make chit-chat with the hired help!!"

verb talk maureen
say You think about starting a conversation with Maureen, but stop yourself. No one talks to Maureen.

rule
here thorin
random x 3
!eq $x 1: Thorin is chewing on a piece of tree bark.
!eq $x 2: Thorin scratches his backside.
say Thorin sings a song about gold.

verb wakeup
goto bedroom
say  <h5>You wake from your nightmare in a cold sweat. It’s always the same dream—you’re a small hobbit on a dangerous quest in a faraway land. <br> Beside you, Mavis lies motionless. She always sleeps with her eyes open, making it difficult to tell whether she’s asleep, awake, or dead.<br>"Mavis... Are you awake?" you whisper.<br>Her tongue lolls out of the corner of her mouth, and a warm patch of drool spreads across her pillow. She looks asleep, but with Mavis, you can never be sure.<br>Gently, you pinch her nostrils shut between your thumb and forefinger. She gasps, stutters, and flings her arms into the air.<br>"Are you awake?" you ask again.<br>"Dave… you're sweating… Did you have your bad dream again?"<br>"Yes. Always the same. I'm a hobbit called Baldo Babbins, and I live in a place called Hobbington."<br>"Would you like me to prepare you a glass of warm milk?"<br>You smile and give her a thumbs-up, the universal gesture for "that would be swell."<br>Mavis climbs out of bed, pulls on her dressing gown, and heads downstairs to prepare your warm milk—and maybe a biscuit if you’re lucky. Just the one biscuit, mind you. Too much sugar at this time of night tends to make you a bit frisky.<br>You lie back on your pillow, hands tucked down the front of your pajama pants.<br>Your Hobbington dreams feel so real. You wish a place like that existed. A guy like you could really go places in a place like that.<br>You scratch your bottom, roll over, and drift back to sleep. The warm milk and biscuit can wait until morning..</h5>

proc morning_convo
say ...and start tucking into a bowl of Coco Pops that your wife has lovingly prepared.<br><br>Mavis yawns.<br><br>"Would you mind not yawning?" you ask politely. "Not only is it unbecoming of a lady to yawn at the breakfast table, but I also find it extremely sexually unappealing. And what's more, you're putting me off my Coco Pops."<br><br> "I'm sorry, my dear."<br><br> You simply give her a look that implies she should know better and had better start bucking up her ideas, then scoop another handsome spoonful of Coco Pops into your hairy gob.<br><br> "Darling, would you mind dropping off my urine sample at the doctor’s on your lunch break? It’s in the bathroom cabinet."<br><br>"OK, Mavis."<br><br> "Thank you, honey. Your sandwiches are wrapped up in the fridge. Don’t forget to lock up before you leave. I’ll see you later!"<br><br>Mavis picks up her handbag and walks out the back door.<br><br>You pick up your cereal bowl and drink the last of the chocolate milk. Wiping the milk from your beard with the back of your sleeve, you consider having another bowl.<br><br>"Coco Pops are the best… but if I have some more, I'll be late for work," you think. Instead, you put the bowl in the sink for Mavis to deal with later.<br><br>"Now—I better get ready for work!"
hide wife
bring fridge

verb talk wife
!at goblin_dungeon
random x 4
!eq $x 1: "Dave, you really should see Dr Muggins about that rash of yours."
!eq $x 2: "Dave, do you still find me physically attractive?"
!eq $x 3: "What color do you think we should paint the landing hallway?"
!eq $x 4: "It's time we paid a visit to my Mother's."

#part 2: at work

room work You're at work - working for Fallow's Toothpaste Industries. You are standing in an assembly line, screwing the lids on toothpaste tubes as they pass by you on a conveyor belt. Your work pal Mike stands opposite you, dressed in green overalls.
prop display Toothpaste-Tube Factory

rule
at work
chance 1 8
say
say <b>A rat scurries across the factory floor.</b>

thing mike Mike Dobson
loc work
tags alive male conversation
verbs talk
prop desc It's Mike Dobson! Your bald best friend. Mike isn't blessed with the same screwing-lids-onto-toothpaste-tubes skills as you, and his lower salary reflects this.
prop start_conversation Mike smiles at you and gives you his full attention. Meanwhile, several toothpaste tubes pass by him on the conveyor belt.
prop end_conversation Mike goes back to screwing lids on toothpaste tubes.

verb talk mike
!at work
held gun
say "Now Dave - remember we are best friends! Don't do anything rash - give me that gun!"

verb talk mike
!at work
random x 7
!eq $x 1: "You should have listened to me, Dave. I was here to keep you out of trouble."
!eq $x 2: "You got me mixed up with somebody else." </br></br> "Nah pal, you got yourself mixed up with someone else!"
!eq $x 3: "Just do as you're told. I don't want to have to shoot you here - it would make things unpleasant for the next passenger who has to use these seats."
!eq $x 4: "They said you’d be trouble from the start. I told 'em you were just confused."
!eq $x 5: "Don't look so surprised. It’s not personal. You were never supposed to remember."
!eq $x 6: "I've always quite liked the idea of being a bus driver. Out on the open road. No bus breathing down your neck."
!eq $x 7: "You get a really good view of Little Chipping from a ride in the top deck of a bus."

setverb ask_mike weekend
setverb ask_mike rekall
has mike askedweekend
setverb ask_mike wife

verb ask_mike weekend
say "How was your weekend?" You ask Mike.
say
say "It was swell, thank you!" Mike replies, "I went to Rekall! It's great!"
tag mike askedweekend

verb ask_mike rekall
say "Rekall?"
say
say "Yes - that new place on the high street next to cash converters. Have you heard of it?"
say <br>"I've seen it from the outside. Rekall corp? What is it, exactly?"<br><br>"Oh it's great - a place where you can live out all your dreams!" <br><br>Mike starts to get excited about the subject, rubbing his hands as he talks. Several toothpaste tubes pass him on the convertor belt, to venture forth forever lidless.<br> <br>"Live out my dreams?"<br><br>"Yes - It's the <b>ultimate</b> in VR. They hook you up to a machine and you can live out any fantasy you want... It's so realistic. It's like you're actually living another life!!"
tag mike rekallasked
carry leaflet
add score 100

setverb ask_mike VR
has mike rekallasked

verb ask_mike VR
say "I don't know... Ive tried cardboard VR before, I wasn't that impressed."<br><br>"This is <i>nothing</i> like cardboard VR! Here, take a leaflet."<br><br>Mike hands you a leaflet form his overall pockets. It had a bright "Rekall" logo on the front.<br>
say
say At that moment the factory claxxon sounds. That was the signal for lunch, and it was time for you to take Mavis's urine sample to the clinic. 
untag mike conversation
goto staff_room

verb ask_mike wife
say "How's your wife, Kirsty?” you ask.
say
say Mike stopped screwing his toothpaste cap and stared across at Dave. It was then Dave remembered the unspeakable, unmentionable fate that had befallen poor Kirsty.
say
say "I'm... I'm sorry, Mike. Forgive me; I forgot she was; she was... squashed."
say
say "Forget it... " Mike said, getting teary-eyed, "There's a part of Kirsty that will always be with me."
say
say "Yes. Did you have any luck finding the other parts?"

room staff_room <div class="staffroom"></div>You are in the staff break room at the toothpaste factory—a dreary little refuge with crooked ceiling tiles, the scent of instant coffee, and a vending machine that has seen better decades.
prop display The Break Room
east factory_floor

thing vending_machine vending machine
loc staff_room
prop desc A battered old vending machine with a faded logo and a flickering "Out of Order" sign. It hums ominously.
setverb kick vending_machine
!has vending_machine broken

verb kick vending_machine
at staff_room
run kick_vending

proc kick_vending
add vending_machine.damage 1
!eq vending_machine.damage 1: You give the vending machine a kick and it wobbles a little.
!eq vending_machine.damage 2: You kick the vending machine again and it wobbles a little more.
say You give the vending machine an extra hard kick and it topples over, crashing to the floor.
say
say "What is all this noise!!! Explain it to me!!" Mr Fallows, the boss, screams as he walks in on the destruction.
say
say "It was like this when I found it!" you explain, your eyes wide and pleading like an innocent little vole.
bring boss
tag vending_machine broken
add score 45

thing leaflet rekall leaflet
tags portable paper
cverbs read

verb read leaflet
say <b><center>ReKall!</center></b>
say <center>- Live out your wildest fantasies! In ultra-realistic VAR (cross between VR and AR) -</center>
say <center>Chippington High Street - Next to Cash Converters. From the town hall go north, east, southwest, east, north, southeast then east.</center>

room factory_floor <div class="factory"></div> You are on the toothpaste factory floor. Lots of hustle and bustle here, with men and women in uniforms standing by conveyor belts, screwing on lids of toothpaste tubes. There is a lovely fresh minty smell in the air.
prop display The Factory Floor
west staff_room
south managers_office
down reception

thing maureen Maureen
loc factory_floor
tags alive female conversation
prop desc A small, hunchbacked woman with a glass eye, a wooden leg and a wig. Her yellowy teeth extend over her lip, almost touching her chin. Hair grows out of her ears and nostrils and there is a slight whiff of mange about her person. She has a rash.

room managers_office You are in the manager's office. There is a huge oil painting of the manager - grinning and stroking a cat -hanging above his mahogany desk. (The painting is hanging above the desk - not the cat.)
prop display Manager's Office
north factory_floor

thing boss Mr Tom Fallows
loc managers_office
tags alive male
prop desc He is only 5 foot tall, but what he lacks in stature, he makes up for in his mop of golden hair. He carries a little red comb in his top pocket, and every so often, proudly runs it through his mane. His eyes are aqua-blue, and there is the sensation of something lurking behind them. Something disturbing.
verbs talk
prop start_conversation Tom looks up at you with his evil eyes, waiting for you to say something.
prop end_conversation Tom goes back to looking reflective and evil.

thing desk
loc managers_office
verbs open
prop desc A very expensive mahogany desk, polished to a rich shine. Its heavy drawers look like they’ve swallowed more than just paperwork over the years. You get the sense that rummaging through it might come with consequences.

verb open desk
at managers_office
here boss
say "What the hell do you think you're doing riffling through my desk!" Mr Fallows screams before kicking you out of his office.
say
goto factory_floor
verb open desk
at managers_office
!here boss
say You find a gold pen!
bring pen
add score 25

thing pen gold pen
tags portable
prop desc A sleek, expensive-looking gold pen. It gleams with importance but its value has dropped already by having your fingerprints all over it.

room reception You are in the reception of the toothpaste factory (Fallows Toothpaste Industries INC). There are pictures of tubes of toothpaste hanging on the walls. There is one picture of a family on a beach showing off their dazzling white teeth.
prop display Factory Reception
up factory_floor
out main_road

verb go out
at reception
!has pen used
say Mrs Wiggly stops you. "I'm sorry, Mr Crowe, you need to sign out before you leave the building! Fire regulations, you understand."

verb talk receptionist
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "I’ve worked here twenty-seven years, and never once been thanked for it!"
!eq $x 2: "I saw Mr Fallows sneak out the back with a crate of toothpaste once. Never said a word."
!eq $x 3: "Mrs Wiggly, have you done something with your hair?" You ask flirtatiously.
say
say "Mr Crowe!!" Mrs Wiggly blushes, "You <i>are</i> a devil!"

thing receptionist Mrs Wiggly
tags alive female
loc reception
verbs talk
prop desc A stout woman with tightly permed hair and a bright floral blouse. She radiates a mix of authority and the scent of rice pudding.

thing sign_sheet sign in sheet
loc reception 
verbs sign_out
prop desc A slightly crumpled sheet resting on a clipboard. Several names are signed in a hurried scrawl, and there’s just enough space for one more signature.

verb sign_out
at reception
held pen
say You use your nice new expensive gold pen to sign your signature - a big, shaky X.
tag pen used
hide sign_sheet
add score 60

verb sign_out
at reception
!held pen
say Somebody's run off with the pen!

room main_road <div class="mainroad"></div>You are on a busy road stretching east and west. Big double decker buses pass you by. Honk Honk go the cars. "Fallows Toothpaste Industries" is to the north.
prop display Busy Main Road
east town_hall
west high_street
thing reception the toothpaste factory
loc main_road
verbs enter
prop desc A colossal, gleaming structure of pipes, vents, and peppermint-scented steam. It towers above every other building in Little Chipping like a frothy white cathedral, its chimneys burping out minty vapour into the sky. The golden letters over the entrance proudly read: “Fallows Toothpaste Industries INC” — a temple to oral hygiene that dwarfs the town around it.

rule
at main_road
carried urine_sample
!has urine_sample empty
!has urine_sample pond
say
say A boy on a skateboard whizzes by you, knocking you to the floor. <b>Out of your pocket falls Mavis's urine sample, the contents spilling into the drain!</b>
say
tag urine_sample empty

thing newsagents newsagents
loc main_road
verbs enter
prop desc A narrow brick-fronted shop with a battered awning and yellowing classified ads taped to the window. A sun-bleached sign outside promises “99p Ice Creams – All Year Round!” though the cone pictured has clearly melted with age.

thing newsagents_window
loc main_road
prop desc Someone has placed a classified Ad in the window. It says <i>Need a website? Go to <b>jonbardiwebdesign.co.uk</b> for the best priced WordPress web design in the world!</i>

verb enter
at main_road
goto $this

room town_hall <div class="townhall"></div>You are in a small square in front of the Town Hall. There is a huge golden statue here of Tom Fallows, the owner and brains behind Fallows Toothpaste Industries. Below the statue there is a golden plaque. There is a park to the north and a main road to the west.
prop display Town Hall
north park
west main_road

thing plaque golden plaque
loc town_hall
verbs read
prop desc A shiny brass plaque mounted proudly on the wall. Its edges are ornately engraved, though the surface is smudged with the fingerprints of curious townsfolk.

verb read plaque
say <b>"Erected 1980 in honor of Baron Tom Fallows, the savior of Little Chipping."</b>
tag plaque read

room newsagents <div class="newsagents"></div>You are inside the local newsagents — a cramped, overstocked little shop that smells of ink, boiled sweets and damp. The shelves are stacked high with crisps, comic books, paracetamol and stationery. A bell above the door jingles every time someone enters.
prop display Newsagents
north main_road

thing newsagent Mr Fudgefinger
name Mr Fudgefinger the newsagent
tags alive male conversation
loc newsagents
prop desc A wiry old man with ink-stained fingers and a suspicious squint. His tweed waistcoat smells faintly of newsprint and boiled sweets.
prop start_conversation Mr Fudgefinger peers over his spectacles at you, sucking on a cola cube.
prop end_conversation Mr Fudgefinger snorts and returns to rearranging the crossword books.
verbs talk

verb talk newsagent
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "Got the *Beano*, *Toothpaste Monthly*, and *ReKall Times*. Take your pick!"
!eq $x 2: "I remember when this town had *two* bakers. Now we’ve only got crime and fluoride."
!eq $x 3: "Don’t touch the magazines on the top shelf. They’re *specialist interest*, see?"

thing envelope
tags portable
prop desc A plain white envelope.

verb ask_newsagent envelopes
!has envelope bought
say "Do you sell envelop..." You begin to ask.
say "Envelopes cost 5 pence each!" Mr Fudgefinger snaps.
bring envelope

verb ask_newsagent envelopes
has envelope bought
say "You've already bought my last envelope! Get lost!"

setverb ask_newsagent weather

verb ask_newsagent weather
say "Lovely weather today isn't it?"<br><br>
say "Buy something or get out!" Mr Fudgefinger sneers, waving a twix in your face threateningly.

setverb put_inside_envelope urine_sample
!has urine_sample empty
carried envelope
carried urine_sample

verb put_inside_envelope
carried envelope
carried urine_sample
say After placing the urine sample inside, you lick the gummy part of the envelope and seal it up.
hide urine_sample
tag envelope usample
add score 50
tagdesc usample containing a urine sample

verb take envelope
!has envelope bought
say "Put that down! Unless you have the money to pay for it!" Mr Fudgefinger sneers, shaking his fist at you menacingly.

setverb buy envelope
at newsagents
carried 5_pence

verb buy envelope
at newsagents
carried 5_pence
say You hand over 5 pence to Mr Fudgefinger, and put the envelope in your pocket.
give envelope
hide 5_pence
tag envelope bought
add score 25

room high_street <div class="highstreet"></div>You are on the high street, where life never seems to slow down and someone is always trying to hand you a leaflet. To the east, the roar of traffic hints at the main road, while various storefronts line the street: the local doctor’s surgery, the weathered Pig and Whistle pub, and Little Chipping Orphanage.
prop display The High Street
east main_road

thing doctors doctors surgery
loc high_street
verbs enter
prop desc A squat brick building with a faded green sign and peeling posters in the window reminding you to wash your hands and book your smear test.

thing pub pig and whistle pub
loc high_street
verbs enter
prop desc A creaky old pub with stained-glass windows and the faint, ever-present smell of pork scratchings and strong ale wafting from within.

thing rink orphanage
loc high_street
verbs enter
tags closed
prop desc A sad, delapadated and permanently shut building with a  sign that reads <b>"Orphanage. Closed for good. Bought by Tom Fallows Industries. Coming soon to this spot: <i>Another</i> Tom Fallows Toothpaste Factory!"</b>

rule
at high_street
random x 15
!eq $x 1: A dog barks wildly as it chases a paper bag down the street.
!eq $x 2: A child in a pushchair screams at the top of their lungs.
!eq $x 3: A busker strums out of tune on a cracked guitar.
!eq $x 4: A woman with a clipboard tries to stop passers-by for a survey.
!eq $x 5: A pigeon flutters dangerously close to your head.
!eq $x 6: A delivery van honks and narrowly misses a cyclist.
!eq $x 7: Two old ladies argue loudly about which bread rolls are on offer.
!eq $x 8: A man in a trench coat sells suspicious-looking watches from his coat lining.
!eq $x 9: A toddler throws a tantrum while his mum pretends not to notice.
!eq $x 10: A gust of wind blows an umbrella inside-out, sending its owner cursing into the road.
!eq $x 11: A dog pees against a lamp-post.
!eq $x 12: A man in a suit pushes past you.
!eq $x 13: A taxi driver honks his horn and screams expletives out of his window at an old lady crossing the road.
!eq $x 14: A boy on a skateboard zooms by.
!eq $x 15: A woman with shopping bags walks out of Marks and Spencers.

verb enter
at high_street
!eq $this rink: The orphange is closed. There is a sign on the wall saying "Closed for good. Bought by Tom Fallows Industries. Coming soon to this spot: <i>Another</i> Tom Fallows Toothpaste Factory!"
goto $this

room pub <div class="pub"></div>You are in the pig and whistle pub. The lunchtime rush is on, and there are several people stood around the bar, and all the tables are full with customers eating ploughman's lunches and what have you.
prop display Pig & Whistle Pub
east high_street

thing landlord
loc pub
tags alive
verbs talk

verb talk landlord
say "Yeah, I know you… You work for Fallows, don’t you? Tell him I’ll have his cut by the end of the week. Just—try and keep him calm, will ya? I only just finished redecorating the place after last time."
say
say You don't know what he's talking about.

thing terry Terry
loc pub
tags alive conversation
prop desc Terry is looking worse for wear. He’s sitting at the bar, knocking back whisky. He hasn’t shaved in days, and his clothes look like he’s been wearing them for far too long. He used to work for Tom Fallow’s Toothpaste Industries.
prop start_conversation Terry looks up with bloodshot eyes.
prop end_conversation Terry goes back to his whisky.

setverb ask_terry how_are_you

verb ask_terry how_are_you
say "Hic Hic...Hi Dave... Hic!" He says, "Haven't seen you since we both worked for Tom Fallows Toothpaste Factory! Tom Fallows - what a (hic).. bastard. I'll get him for what he did to me! Hic!"
tag terry tom

setverb ask_terry Tom_Fallows
has terry tom

verb ask_terry Tom_Fallows
say "Tom Fallows? (hic) - Tom Bastard I call him! (hic) - 10 years I worked at his factory - he was sleeping with my wife all the time! Then when I found out, he sacked me! But I'll get him... I know things about him...<i>secrets...</i>"
tag terry secrets

setverb ask_terry secrets
has terry secrets

verb ask_terry secrets
at pub
say "What secrets? What do you mean?" You ask.
say
say "Shhhh!" Terry says, putting his finger to his lips, "Not here... the walls have ears! Follow me outside!"
say
say <b>With that, Terry gets up and walks outside.</b>
say
put terry high_street

verb ask_terry secrets
at high_street
say
say "As I was saying..." Terry continues... "Did you know that Tom is planning to..."
say
say <b>Suddenly, with a screech of tyres, a car drives off the road and onto the pavement - crashing into poor Terry, who goes flying over the bonnet, landing in a bloody heap on the side of the road.</b>
say The car doesn't stop, speeding off into the distance before you can memorise the numberplate. You crouch down beside Terry and take his pulse. He hasn't got one.
hide terry
say 
say A witness calls an ambulance, and in minutes they arrive and carry Terry's body away. Poor Terry!

setverb ask_adrian steak
at pub
here steak

verb ask_adrian steak
say "Cooked rare - just the way I likes it!"

setverb give_to_adrian bottle_of_schnapps
at pub
carried bottle_of_schnapps
here adrian

verb give_to_adrian bottle_of_schnapps
at pub
carried bottle_of_schnapps
here adrian
say You offer the bottle of schnapps to Adrian. Adrian pushes aside his steak, his hands wildly grasping the bottle. He removes the bottle top with such dexterity and speed your eyes fail even to register it. With not so much as a "Thank you, kindly" - Adrian puts his neck back and pours the contents of the bottle down his throat. In minutes he is snoozing soundly, his head resting on his plate, in a small pool of tomato ketchup.
hide bottle_of_schnapps
tag adrian sleeping
untag adrian conversation
assign conversation 0
add score 45

thing adrian Adrian Swidzinski
tags alive male conversation
loc pub
prop desc A tall, bald, pleasant-looking Polish man with twinkling eyes and a nose that suggests a long and loving relationship with vodka.
verbs talk
prop start_conversation "Hello fella...lend us a tenner won't you - I can pay you back next Tuesday when me Giro comes through." \
 says Adrian, slurring his speech and taking another gulp of his beer.
prop end_conversation \
Adrian takes another gulp of his beer and his head starts to loll.

verb talk adrian
has adrian sleeping
say Sssh! Adrian is sleeping!

thing steak
tags edible portable
prop desc A big fat juicy steak. Mmmmm!

verb take steak
at pub
here steak
here adrian
!has adrian sleeping
say "Get your hands off my steak!" Adrian shouts angrily. You could say his anger is justified, grabbing another mans steak like that. Shame on you.

setverb ask_adrian statue
has plaque read

verb ask_adrian statue
say "Don't talk to me about Tom Fallows... that bastard." Adrian leans forward and starts to whisper, "I know <i>stories</i> about what he gets up too. That's why he fired me... he's afraid of what I know..."

room doctors You are in the clean but faintly medicinal-smelling reception of the doctor's surgery. A faded poster about flu jabs peels off the wall, and the sound of coughing echoes from deeper within.
prop display Doctor's Surgery
south high_street

thing mrs_witherington Mrs Witherington  
loc doctors  
tags alive female conversation  
name Mrs Witherington  
desc A stern-looking woman in her late fifties with angular spectacles and a mouth permanently pursed into a line. Her grey hair is tied in a bun so tight it could snap steel. She exudes an air of quiet authority—and zero tolerance.  
verbs talk

verb talk mrs_witherington
say Mrs Witherington peers at you over her thick rimmed spectacles. "Good heavens - you don't look right at all!!! I suggest you see a doctor straight away!"

setverb hand_in urine_sample
at doctors
carried urine_sample

setverb hand_in envelope
at doctors
carried envelope
has envelope usample

verb hand_in
at doctors
carried urine_sample
say Mrs Witherington looks at you witheringly. "I'm not touching that unless it's in an envelope!" She says.
setverb ask_newsagent envelopes

verb hand_in
at doctors
carried envelope
has envelope usample
say You hand over the envelope containing the Urine sample to Mrs Witherington. She looks pleased as punch. That's your good deed done for this month!
tag urine_sample handed
hide envelope
add score 50

room park You are in the Tom Fallows Municipal Gardens. A well-kept public park with lush green lawns and winding gravel paths. To the east, a designated picnic area sits beneath a canopy of oak trees, offering wooden benches and a view of a tranquil pond. To the south, you can just make out the clock tower of the town hall rising above the treetops.
prop display Gardens
south town_hall
east picnic_spot
north pond

room pond <div class="pond"></div>You are standing by the edge of the old town pond, where the water glistens with a murky charm. A few ducks paddle lazily, hoping for breadcrumbs from the occasional little old lady who wanders by. Moss-covered benches circle the water, inviting quiet reflection, daydreaming, or meeting shady government agents for incladestine conversations.
prop display The Pond
south park

setverb fill_with_pond_water urine_sample
at pond
has urine_sample empty
held urine_sample

verb fill_with_pond_water urine_sample
say You replace Mavis's urine with some pond water. The color is a bit darker, and there might be a tadpole or two swimming in it - but you think you can get away with it.
untag urine_sample empty
tag urine_sample pond
add score 45

room picnic_spot <div class="picnicspot"></div>You are in a nice gladed area. You get the feeling that this might be a nice spot for a picnic. Picnic tables are scattered about and a sign reads <b>"Picnic Area"</b>.
prop display Picnic Area
west park
southwest industrial_estate

thing louts bunch of louts
loc picnic_spot
tags alive plural conversation
desc A scruffy gang of teenage louts sprawled across the picnic benches. They're eating junk food, chucking cans into the bushes, and laughing far too loudly at things that aren't funny.
verbs talk

rule
here louts
random x 5
!eq $x 1: One of the louts sticks his middle finger up at you.
!eq $x 2: A lout throw an empty beer can at you.
!eq $x 3: The louts shout "Tosser!" in your direction.
!eq $x 4: The louts are using terrible language.
say The louts drink some beer.

verb talk louts
say "Push off, toff!" The louts say.

setverb chase_louts stick
here louts
at picnic_spot
carried stick

verb chase_louts
at picnic_spot
carried stick
say With a ferocious battle cry, you wave the stick wildly above your head and charge at the youts.
say
say "This blokes off his rocker!" One of the louts is heard to say.
say "He's nuts! Let's get out of here!"
say
say <b>The louts run off, one of them dropping something on the ground.</b>
hide louts
bring bottle_of_schnapps
add score 35

thing bottle_of_schnapps a bottle of peach schnapps
tags portable
desc A half-drunk bottle of peach schnapps. The label is peeling, and the liquid inside sloshes with the reckless promise of a fruity hangover.

room industrial_estate You are standing in the shadows of a smoggy industrial estate. Huge unsightly featureless buildings rise high above you, spewing fumes and pollution. The sounds of screeching machinery fill the air. 
prop display Industrial Estate
northwest picnic_spot
east junk_yard

room junk_yard <div class="junkyard"></div>You are standing amidst a chaotic sprawl of twisted metal, broken washing machines, and rusting bicycles. The air smells of oil and damp earth. Crows caw overhead, watching you with curiosity. 
prop display Junk Yard
west industrial_estate
north muddy_lane

verb go north
at junk_yard
here dog
say The great big growling dog here stands in your way.
say "Growl, growl!" It says, frothy foam dangling from it's sharp, yellow fangs.

thing dog great big growling dog
prop desc A massive, shaggy beast with matted fur and eyes that glint with suspicion. Her low, rumbling growl never quite stops, and you get the feeling she’s just waiting for an excuse to lunge.
tags alive female
loc junk_yard
verbs talk

verb talk dog
random x 3
!eq $x 1: The dog growls deep in her throat, lips curling back to reveal yellow teeth.
!eq $x 2: She barks once—loud and sharp—then stares at you in silence.
!eq $x 3: The dog sniffs the air, then snarls in your direction with deliberate menace.

setverb give_to_dog steak
here dog
at junk_yard
carried steak

verb give_to_dog steak
say You throw the steak into the bushes and the great big growling dog bound after it, it's tail-a-wagging!
hide dog
hide steak
add score 50

room muddy_lane You are trudging along a winding, mud-slicked lane. Deep puddles ripple as the wind sighs through the overhanging trees. Your boots squelch unpleasantly with each step, and the scent of damp earth hangs in the air.
prop display A Muddy Lane
south junk_yard
southeast cash_converters

room cash_converters You are standing outside Cash Converters, where broken dreams and second-hand treasures are bought and sold for a pittance. A cracked neon sign flickers above the door, casting an eerie pink glow over the cracked pavement.
prop display Outside Cash Converters
east rekall
northwest muddy_lane

thing cash_converters cash converters
loc cash_converters
verbs enter
prop desc A tired-looking shopfront with barred windows and faded posters offering instant cash for gold, phones, and crap.

thing stick a pointy stick
tags portable sellable
desc The stick is covered with mayonnaise.

verb enter cash_converters
at cash_converters
goto inside_cash_converters

room inside_cash_converters You are inside cash converters. Everywhere you look, you can see DVDs. The cashier sits behind bullet proof glass, a small hole in the bottom for the exchange of goods.
prop display Inside Cash Converters
north cash_converters

thing clerk Clark the Cash Converters Clerk
loc inside_cash_converters
tags alive male
prop desc A gangly youth in a brightly coloured knitted jumper that looks like someone has been sick all over it. His ears, nose, and eyebrows are all pierced, and he radiates the sort of smug energy only a student can truly master.
verbs talk

verb talk clerk
random x 5
!eq $x 1: "Capitalism's a prison, man—but I still gotta make rent. You selling or just browsing?"
!eq $x 2: "This place? Yeah, it's exploitative. But, like, ironically."
!eq $x 3: "We don't buy into traditional value systems here. Unless it's gold. Or skateboards."
!eq $x 4: "Alwight dude, you 'ere to buy or you 'ere to sell? Ya see, we do both ere."
!eq $x 5: "Alwight dude, you 'ere to buy or you 'ere to sell? Ya see, we do both ere."

verb sell
at inside_cash_converters
eq $this bicycle_pump: The clerk looks it over. </br> "Sorry dude - not interested. We 'ave too many {$this}'s in stock in da back room, ya see."
say The clerk looks it over.
say "I'll give you 5 pence for it."
say You nod sadly, hand over {the $this} and the clerk gives you 5 pence.
hide bicycle_pump
give 5_pence

thing 5_pence
tags portable
prop desc It's a five pence piece! What more do you want me to say about it??

room rekall <div class="rekall"></div>You are standing before a towering glass skyscraper, sleek and imposing. The name "ReKall" blazes across the front in giant chrome letters, shimmering in the sunlight. The automatic doors whisper open and shut, as if beckoning you in...
prop display Outside ReKall
west cash_converters

room lab <div class="lab"></div>You are back at Rekall, in a large white-washed room with a single reclinable leather chair in it's centre. Soot-faced children are here, unpacking expensive-looking equipment from polystyrene packed boxes, and removing shrink wrap from control panels aligned along one wall.
prop display A Hi-tec Lab

thing rekall ReKall
loc rekall
verbs enter

verb enter rekall
!has urine_sample handed
say You still need to hand in your wife's urine sample! You should see to that first before you forget.

verb enter rekall
!has sandwiches eaten
say You still need to eat your lunch! You're hungry!

verb enter rekall
goto rekall_reception
add score 100

room rekall_reception You are in the main reception of Rekall. The space is vast, sterile, and metallic—like the lobby of a spaceship from a dystopian future. Your footsteps echo across the glossy marble tiles, swallowed quickly by the silence. A sleek reception desk, devoid of clutter, looms ahead of you.
prop display Rekall Reception

thing rekall_receptionist receptionist  
loc rekall_reception  
tags alive female 
prop desc A perfectly poised woman with platinum-blonde hair in a severe bun. Her icy blue eyes flicker across a monitor, and her teeth glint like freshly sharpened surgical tools.
verbs talk

verb talk rekall_receptionist
at rekall_reception
say "Hello!" You say, approaching the reception desk.
say
say "Ah, your here - finally!" She says, standing up from behind her desk.
say "You were expecting me?" You ask, confused.
say
say "I've been waiting for you all day! Come this way!"
say
say She strides out from behind her desk and leads you into a small room.
goto rekall_toilet
put rekall_receptionist rekall_toilet

room rekall_toilet You are in a very cramped toilet. There is a mop and bucket leant against the wall. The stench is almost unbearable.
west rekall_reception
prop display A Cramped Toilet

rule
at rekall_toilet
here rekall_receptionist
say
say The receptionist stares at you expectingly.

verb go west
at rekall_toilet
here rekall_receptionist
say
say The receptionist stops you.
say 
say "Where are you going?" She asks.
verb go west
at rekall_toilet
!here rekall_receptionist
say The receptionist told you to wait here.

verb talk rekall_receptionist
at rekall_toilet
eq rekall_toilet.turns 0
say "Why have you brought me in here?" You ask.
say
say "The flush doesn't work." She says, gesturing to the toilet.
add rekall_toilet.turns 1

verb talk rekall_receptionist
at rekall_toilet
eq rekall_toilet.turns 1
say "Well, what do you want <i>me</i> to do about it??"
say
say "Fix it of course! Go and get your tools!" She replies, quite clearly getting irritated with you.
add rekall_toilet.turns 1

verb talk rekall_receptionist
at rekall_toilet
eq rekall_toilet.turns 2
say "There must be some mistake...I'm not here to repair the toilet - I want to book an appointment for a VR experience. This is Rekall isn't it? Where all your dreams can come true?"
say
say The receptionist blinks.
say
say "Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" She wails - "I took you for a toilet engineer! Wait right here, I'll go and get Doctor Brainfiddle right now!"
say
say <b>The receptionist walks out of the toilet, closing the door behind her.</b>
add rekall_toilet.turns 1
hide rekall_receptionist
add score 25

verb wait
at rekall_toilet
!here rekall_receptionist
gt rekall_toilet.turns 2
say You wait about 20 minutes, when suddenly in walks Doctor Brainfiddle. He closes the door of the toilet behind him.
bring brainfiddle
say
say "So..." Doctor Brainfiddle says, shaking your hand, "I believe you would like me to make all your dreams come true!"
untag brainfiddle conversation

verb talk brainfiddle
at rekall_toilet
say "A friend recommended you to me. I was interested in learning a little more about your services..." You say.
say
say "Of course!" Brainfiddle says, "Take any dream or fantasy you’ve ever imagined, and we can help make it a reality! Ever wondered what it would be like to work in human resources? We can make it happen. Any job—any life. Have you ever wanted to be a shoemaker?" 
say
say "No."
say
say "Assistant librarian? Cocktail waitress? Panel beater? What about our assembly line worker package? We have a special at the moment… 10% off!" 
say
say "But I’m already an assembly line worker!" 
say
say "Yes, but have you ever been an assembly line worker in <i>Kettering?</i>" 
say
say "I’m starting to think this isn’t what I’m looking for at all..." "
say
say "Wait, wait..." Dr. Brainfiddle says, placing a hand on your shoulder. "There is one package that might interest you.  I’m not really supposed to be telling you about this...You step into the life of a hobbit. You then go on a dangerous quest filled with dragons, giants, goblins, orcs, elves—that sort of thing." 
say
say "Marvellous! That sounds exactly like what I had in mind!" 
say
say "Great—then it’s all settled. Just sign here. Here. And here. I’ll get everything ready on my end. All you need to do is come back at 8 p.m. this evening. Bring loose-fitting clothes, your checkbook, some slippers, proof that you’re over 18 and a will if you have one."
say
say <b>With that, you shuffle off, only to return at 8 p.m. that very same evening...</b>
say
goto lab
bring brainfiddle
tag brainfiddle conversation
tag brainfiddle syringe
at lab

thing brainfiddle Doctor Brainfiddle
loc lab
tags alive male conversation
verbs talk
prop desc Doctor Brainfiddle is a wiry man in a grubby lab coat, with wild eyes and a pencil-thin moustache that twitches when he speaks. He carries a clipboard everywhere he goes.
prop start_conversation Doctor Brainfiddle squints at you suspiciously, tapping his clipboard.
prop end_conversation Doctor Brainfiddle turns away to recalibrate some blinking machinery.

thing headset virtual reality headset
loc lab
tags portable
prop desc A sleek, high-tech headset with mirrored lenses and padded straps.

verb take headset
say "Don't touch that!" Doctor Brainfiddle snaps.

thing chair reclining leather chair
loc lab
verbs sit
prop desc A wide, dark leather reclining leather chair dominates the centre of the lab.

verb sit chair
has clothes worn
say "Please take your trousers off before sitting in the chair. It's for a scientific reason, you understand."

verb sit chair
run experiment
add score 75

proc experiment
say You take your trousers off, sit down in the chair and Doctor Brainfiddle straps you in tightly. He then goes over to one of the newly-installed control panels, turns on Windows 95 and starts typing.<br><br>"Let me see now... you want to be a hobbit...you want to go on a quest... OK... one moment... nearly done.... there!"<br><br>He finishes typing and walks over to you, brandishing the long syringe.<br><br>"All that's left is to inject this directly into the frontal lobe of your brain! Now - if I can remember where the frontal lobe is..."<br><br>"What?? Just a minute!!" You cry out...<br><br>The doctor stabs the syringe into your temple. After a few minutes he checks your pulse, and turns round to one of the sooty children. <br><br> "I think you'd best call an ambulance, Timmy!"
say
untag brainfiddle syringe
goto hospital_ward

setverb ask_brainfiddle boxes
at lab

verb ask_brainfiddle boxes
say "All this equipment looks very new, am I the first the try this machine?" You ask<br><br>"As a matter of fact, you are - congratulations!"<br><br>"How do you know if it's safe or not?"<br><br>"Only one way to find out! Now take your trousers off!"

setverb ask_brainfiddle chair
at lab

verb ask_brainfiddle chair
say "After you've taken your trousers off, I need to strap you into the chair and then we can begin."

setverb ask_brainfiddle syringe
at lab

verb ask_brainfiddle syringe
say "This little beauty contains your virtual reality experience - in liquid form. I just need to inject it directly into your brain, then you put on the virtual reality headset over there."

setverb ask_brainfiddle children
at lab
verb ask_brainfiddle children
say "We employ them as staff—they work much cheaper than fully grown adults. Almost 99.9999% cheaper, as a matter of fact!"

#part 2: hobbington

room hospital_ward
prop desc <div class="ward"></div>You are lying in a stiff hospital bed, the scent of disinfectant clinging to the air. A tight bandage wraps your head, and a plaster decorates your elbow like a sad badge of honour. Your memories are hazy.
prop display In a hospital bed
south hospital_corridor

verb go south
at hospital_ward
goto hospital_corridor
write hospital_ward.desc You are standing in a quiet hospital ward. The bed you were in still looks warm.

verb wait
at hospital_ward
say "I'll be back to check on you later!" Nurse Rosemary says.
say Nurse Rosemary wanders off.
put nurse_rosemary janitors_closet
put doctor janitors_closet

thing nurse_rosemary Nurse Rosemary
tags alive female
loc hospital_ward
verbs talk
prop desc She is young, attractive and has a nurse’s smile that could melt a fever, with eyes too kind for this world.

thing bunch_of_grapes
tags edible portable
loc hospital_ward

verb take bunch_of_grapes
here nurse_rosemary
say Nurse Rosemary slaps your hand.
say "You're too sick to be eating grapes!" she scolds.

room hospital_corridor
prop desc You are in a bland hospital corridor lit by flickering fluorescent lights. Faint beeping echoes from distant wards. Signs point east to reception. Nurses rush past with purpose; some carry clipboards, others steaming cups of tea.
prop display Hospital Corridor
north hospital_ward
east hospital_reception
south janitors_closet
west smokingarea

thing janitor
loc hospital_corridor
tags alive male
prop met_name The Janitor
verbs talk
prop desc He has a grey moustache, oil on his overalls, and more wrinkles than the hotel’s linen.

# Random replies when talking

verb talk janitor
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "Just try not to make more mess, alright?"
!eq $x 2: "Been cleaning this corridor since '94. Never ends."
!eq $x 3: "You seen my dustpan? I left it somewhere around here..."

verb go west
at hospital_corridor
here cleaning_trolley
say A bulky cleaning trolley is wedged in front of the door to the smoking area. You can’t get past it.

thing cleaning_trolley
loc hospital_corridor
prop desc A bulky cleaning trolley piled high with mops, sprays, and a half-eaten sandwich.

room smokingarea You are in a walled-off outdoor area where hospital staff come to smoke. The air is thick with nicotine and secrets. A large skip squats in the corner.
prop display Smoking Area
east hospital_corridor

thing skip
loc smokingarea
prop desc A large yellow portable skip, set on wheels and used for hospital waste.

thing five_pound_note A five pound note
tags portable
loc smokingarea

verb take five_pound_note
at smokingarea
!carried five_pound_note
say Just as you reach down to grab the note, a sudden gust of wind lifts it...
say <b>...and whisks it behind the skip!</b>
put five_pound_note behind_skip
goto behind_skip
add score 5

room behind_skip
prop desc You crouch down behind the skip, reaching for the note.
prop display Behind the Skip

rule
at behind_skip
say You grab the note — but just then, you hear footsteps approaching.
say
say Peering through a gap in the bins, you see Doctor Feely and Nurse Rosemary sneak out into the smoking area, giggling.
say
say They embrace, kiss clumsily, and Nurse Rosemary slaps his hand away from her bottom. “Not here!” she whispers, blushing. They scurry off.
carry five_pound_note
hide nurse_rosemary
goto smokingarea
tag doctor seenkissing

setverb ask_doctor Nurse_Rosemary
has doctor seenkissing

setverb ask_doctor Nurse_Battersby
has nurse_battersby block
has doctor blackmail

thing doctor Doctor Feely
tags alive male conversation
loc hospital_corridor
prop desc A young, handsome doctor, with the smile of a cad and a bounder.

room janitors_closet
prop desc You are in a cramped janitor’s closet. It smells like bleach.
prop display Janitor's Closet
north hospital_corridor

rule
at janitors_closet
here doctor
here nurse_rosemary
say Doctor Feely and Nurse Rosemary are kissing. His hands are on her bottom.
say Nurse Rosemary goes bright red, quickly adjusts her corset and runs away.
hide nurse_rosemary
tag doctor seenkissing

verb ask_doctor Nurse_Rosemary
say "You... You saw that?? It wasn't what it looked like..." Doctor Feely says, sweating. "But there's no need to tell anyone... is there? I'm a married man...with a mistress! You wouldn't want to ruin all that for me?"
tag doctor blackmail

verb ask_doctor Nurse_Battersby
has doctor seenkissing: "She's quite right - you can't leave the hospital until I'm satisfied you're cured. Now go back to bed!"
has doctor blackmail: "She's quite right - you can't leave the hospital until I'm satisfied you're cured. Now go back to bed!"
say "Of course... I'll go and tell her that you're cured and you can leave whenever you like! After all, we're all friends here...aren't we!"
say Doctor Feely says before walking off towards reception.
put doctor hospital_reception

thing dustpan_and_brush
tags portable
loc janitors_closet
cverbs examine empty
desc A dustpan filled with grey hospital dust.
tags dust

verb examine dustpan_and_brush
!has dustpan_and_brush busticket: You examine it closely. Your nose gets covered in dust.
say You find a crumpled bus ticket tangled in the bristles of the brush.
carry bus_ticket
add score 25
tag dustpan_and_brush busticket

verb empty dustpan_and_brush
!has dustpan_and_brush empty
at hospital_ward
say You tip the contents of the dustpan onto the ward floor. A small cloud of grey dust billows briefly.
tag dustpan_and_brush empty
run move_janitor_to_ward
untag dustpan_and_brush dust

verb empty dustpan_and_brush
has dustpan_and_brush empty
say It's already empty.

verb empty dustpan_and_brush
!at hospital_ward
say You probably shouldn't do that here. Someone might see you making a mess.

# Move janitor (and trolley) to the ward
proc move_janitor_to_ward
sayat hospital_corridor The janitor looks up. "What the–? Dust in the ward?!"
sayat hospital_corridor Muttering to himself, he pushes the trolley away.
put janitor hospital_ward
put cleaning_trolley hospital_ward
sayat hospital_ward The janitor arrives, grumbling, and starts sweeping again.
add score 25

thing bus_ticket
tags portable
prop desc A flimsy cardboard ticket with the hospital logo stamped faintly on it. Slightly bent, but still valid — probably.

room hospital_reception
prop desc You are at the hospital reception. The walls are plastered with faded posters and angry patients shift in uncomfortable chairs. A stern nurse guards the exit.
prop display Hospital Reception
west hospital_corridor
north car_park

thing nurse_battersby Nurse Battersby
tags female alive 
loc hospital_reception
prop desc Built like a battleship in a starch-white uniform, and twice as intimidating.

verb go north
at hospital_reception
here nurse_battersby
!here doctor
say Nurse Battersby stops you. </br> "Just where do you think you're going?? Get back to bed – you're in no condition to be walking around. You can't leave unless the doctor tells me you can!"
tag nurse_battersby block

verb talk doctor
at hospital_corridor
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "Have you seen my stethoscope? I think I left it in the cafeteria."
!eq $x 2: "I’m extremely busy saving lives, thank you very much."
!eq $x 3: "That rash on your arm — probably nothing. Probably."

verb talk doctor
at janitors_closet
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "You're not going to tell anyone about that... are you?"
!eq $x 2: "Purely a medical examination. Entirely professional."
!eq $x 3: "This hospital runs on discretion. And caffeine."

verb talk nurse_rosemary
at hospital_ward
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "Now, now — no more grapes until the doctor says so."
!eq $x 2: "Try to rest. You’ve had quite the knock to the head."
!eq $x 3: "You should be resting! You've had quite a nasty experience!"

room car_park
prop display Car Park
prop desc You stand in the hospital’s desolate car park, where the smell of warm tarmac mingles with the ghost of petrol fumes. Faint oil rainbows shimmer in puddles near the drain covers. Rows of weary vehicles huddle under the grey sky, boxed in by crooked yellow lines like inmates. To the south, the glass doors of the hospital glint dully. The road to freedom lies to the east.
south hospital_reception
east bus_stop

room bus_stop
prop display Bus Stop
prop desc <div class="busstop"></div>You are at a lonely bus stop on the edge of the hospital grounds. A cracked plastic shelter rattles in the wind. The faded timetable behind a smeared panel gives the schedule of the buses. Should a bus arrive at the scheduled time on this timetable, that would be a first.
west car_park

thing bus
loc nowhere
prop desc A lumbering red double-decker bus, its windows streaked with years of weather and fingerprints. The upper deck promises a better view, but only fools expect comfort.
tags vehicle
verbs board

verb wait
at bus_stop
say A diesel growl announces the arrival of a double-decker bus. It shudders to a stop beside you.
bring bus

verb board bus
at bus_stop
here bus
!carried bus_ticket
say The driver narrows his eyes at you. "Ticket please."
say You pat your pockets in vain.
say "No ticket, no ride," he says flatly, and with a hiss of hydraulics, the doors close.
say The bus pulls away, leaving only exhaust in its wake.
hide bus

verb board bus
at bus_stop
here bus
carried bus_ticket
say <b>You flash the driver your ticket. He barely nods. You climb to the top deck and settle into a stained seat as the bus rumbles to life.</b>
goto top_deck
add score 65

room top_deck
prop display Top Deck of the Bus
prop desc You're seated on the top deck, surrounded by red vinyl benches faded with use. Dirty windows blur the passing countryside into streaks of green and gold. The engine hums below like a mechanical lullaby, vibrating through the soles of your feet.

verb wait
at top_deck 
!eq top_deck.wait 5
run mike_board

proc mike_board
add top_deck.wait 1
!eq top_deck.wait 1: You sit back, letting the landscape drift past. The horizon seems impossibly far away.
!eq top_deck.wait 2: You drum your fingers on the window as the bus passes a greengrocer's, its awning flapping like a signal.
!eq top_deck.wait 3: You hum a nameless tune. Outside, a chip shop blurs into view, then vanishes again.
!eq top_deck.wait 4: The bus hisses to a stop. A few passengers get on and off, none of them paying you any mind. The door shuts. The journey continues.
say <b>Someone drops heavily into the seat beside you.</b>
say
say It’s Mike Dobson. Familiar smile, unfamiliar coldness in his eyes. His hand is in his coat pocket — and the shape pressing into your ribs makes the intent unmistakable.
say
say "You blabbed, Crowe. You told them about Hobbington." He leans closer. "We get off at the next stop. You’re coming with me."
say
say The bus passes a sweet shop, its neon sign flickering like a faulty memory.
bring mike

setverb judo_chop mike 
at top_deck
!here gun
!carried gun

verb judo_chop mike
at top_deck
here mike
say With a sudden twist, you drive the side of your hand into Mike's wrist. The gun clatters to the floor, sliding beneath a seat.
bring gun
add score 25

thing gun
loc nowhere
prop desc A compact black pistol, scratched and cold to the touch. It hums with imminent violence.
tags portable
cverbs shoot

verb shoot gun
at top_deck
here mike
say You raise the gun and level it at Mike’s head. He freezes.
say
say "Dave — don't. Think about this. We were friends!"
say
say <b>You squeeze the trigger. The shot cracks like thunder. Mike slumps sideways, eyes wide, blood blooming across the window like a red Rorschach.</b>
say
say "This is your stop, Mike!" You spit, then press the bell. Behind you, schoolkids stare in silence - their future mental health suddenly taken a turn for the worse.
say
say You step off at the next stop, walking the rest of the way home through the dusk.
say
say Mavis is waiting in the front room, arms crossed.
say
say "You're back early," she says. "Bad day at work?"
say
say You tell her everything — about ReKall, about Mike. You even mention the one-liner. She doesn’t laugh.
say
say "Mike? Tried to kill you? That doesn’t make sense. Dave — don’t you see? ReKall’s scrambled your brain!"
say
say You shake your head.
say "I just want a shower and an episode of Tipping Point."
say
goto shower
run dropall
add score 50

proc dropall
all carried
hide $this

verb shoot gun
say Not here! Somebody might get hurt!

room shower Steam curls around you, blurring the edges of the tiled walls and muffling the world beyond the glass door. Warm water drums steadily against your skin, echoing in the small, tiled space like distant rainfall.
prop display In the shower
verbs clean scrub wash exfoliate exit_shower

verb clean
say You add some shower gel into the palm of your hand and clean your legs.
verb scrub
say You add some shower gel into the palm of your hand and scrub your armpits.
verb wash
say You add some shower gel into the palm of your hand and wash behind your ears.
verb exfoliate
say You add some of your wifes exfoliation stuff into the palm of your hand and exfoliate everywhere.
verb exit_shower
say You decide you are clean enough, wrap a towel around your waste and go into your bedroom.
say
goto bedroomlater
bring wardrobe

verb wear dressing_gown
say You wear the fluffy, white dressing gown.
tag dressing_gown worn
unhold dressing_gown
!has landing_men inside
tag landing_men arrived

verb remove dressing_gown
say Not a good idea unless you want to walk around naked!

rule
has landing_men arrived
!has landing_men inside
say
say <i><b>You hear the doorbell ring, and the sounds of Mavis going to answer it.</i></b>
tag landing_men inside

room bedroomlater <div class="bedroom"></div>You are in your bedroom. The room is tidy and warmly lived-in, with matching bedside tables flanking a neatly made double bed. A soft floral duvet covers the mattress, and a pair of fluffy slippers are tucked just beneath the edge. On one side, there’s a stack of paperbacks and a reading lamp; on the other, a phone charger and a half-used bottle of hand cream. A framed wedding photo sits on the dresser, surrounded by a few scented candles and a dish of loose change and earrings. To the east, a white-painted door leads out to the landing.
prop display Bedroom
east landing_men

thing phone bedroom phone
loc bedroomlater

proc phonering
!has phone used
!has phone ringing
say
say <i><b>The bedroom phone starts to ring.</i></b>
tag phone ringing

rule
has phone ringing
say
say <i><b>The bedroom phone is ringing...</i></b>
say

setverb answer phone 
at bedroomlater
has phone ringing

verb answer phone
at bedroomlater
has phone ringing
say You pick up the phone.
say
say "Dave Crowe?" The voice on the other end asks.
say
say "Yes...who is..."
say
say "We were buddies back in the agency in Hobbington...There's no time for questions! Quickly... get inside the wardrobe!"
say
say The line goes dead.
say
untag phone ringing
tag phone used
add score 25

setverb enter wardrobe
has phone used

verb enter wardrobe
goto inside_wardrobe

thing dressing_gown
tags wearable portable
loc bedroomlater

room landing_men You are on the landing. There is a bedroom to the west and a bathroom to the north. Stairs lead down.
prop display The landing
west bedroomlater
down hallway
north bathroomlater

rule
has landing_men inside
add landing_men.men 1

rule
at landing_men
has landing_men inside
!gt landing_men.men 7: The men with guns are coming up the stairs! They see you!! They switch their safety catches off and give you a grin.
eq landing_men.men 2: <i>You can hear Mavis downstairs talking to some strange men.</i>

rule
at landing_men
has landing_men arrived
say
say "He remembers! What are we going to do!?" Mavis is saying.
say
say "Don't worry Mavis, we're going to shoot his bollocks off, that's what we're going to do!"
say
say Oh no! You left your gun downstairs on the mantelpiece!
say
run phonering
untag landing_men arrived

rule
at landing_men
gt landing_men.men 9
say The men are upon you! Each one takes turns shooting you. You collapse in a bloody heap on the landing. 
say
die Your quest is at an end.

rule
at bedroomlater
gt landing_men.men 10
say <i>You hear the men outside your bedroom door!</i>

rule
at bedroomlater
gt landing_men.men 11
say
say The men burst into the bedroom, blasting their guns! Each one takes turns emptying their guns into your young, supple flesh. You collapse in a bloody heap by your bedside.
say
die Your quest is at an end.

verb go down
at landing_men
!has dressing_gown worn
say You're not decent - you need to put some clothes on first!

verb go down
at landing_men
has landing_men inside
say You can't go down there! Those men will shoot you!

room bathroomlater <div class="bathroomlater"></div>You are in the bathroom. A toilet with a down the side is here, along with a bathtub with a crack down the side, and medicine cabinet with a mirror (with a crack down the middle).
prop display The Bathroom
south landing_men

room inside_wardrobe You are inside your wardrobe. The floor is covered with your wife's shoes. Comfortable shoes, elegant shoes, out-on-the-town shoes, around-the-house shoes, washing-up shoes, watching-tv shoes, walking shoes, standing-still shoes, bowling shoes (they are yours.). Shirts, dresses and trousers hang from the rail.
prop display Inside the Wardrobe
verbs exit_wardrobe

verb exit_wardrobe
goto bathroomlater

thing corduroy_pants corduroy pants
loc inside_wardrobe
tags portable
prop desc You don't like them any more, and haven't worn them for years.

verb take corduroy_pants
say As you reach for the hanger, there's a sharp click — not from the hanger, but from somewhere beneath your feet. Before you can react, the bottom panel of the wardrobe gives a soft groan and slides back, revealing a dark, yawning chute.
say
say You don't even have time to cry.
say
say You plunge downward.
say
say You are falling...
say
say ...falling...
say
say ...still falling...
say
say The air rushes past your ears in a silent scream.
say
say And then — with a bone-jarring thud — you hit stone.
say
say Pain radiates up your spine. You groan. You think you've put your back out.
say
goto tunnel_like_hall
add score 200

# HOBBINGTON

room tunnel_like_hall
prop display Comfortable Tunnel-like Hall
prop desc <div class="tunnelhall"></div>You are in a comfortable Tunnel-like hall. To the east there is the round green door.
east hobbington

setverb put_toothpaste_in_chest wooden_chest
at tunnel_like_hall
held sack
has sack won

thing wooden_chest
loc tunnel_like_hall
tags container
verbs open
prop desc A squat wooden chest sits near the wall, carved with runes that suggest a much older time. The lid creaks ominously when touched.
prop contents multiple

thing flyer
tags portable
prop desc A cheap promotional flyer with smeared ink and a faint, musky perfume.
prop contained_in wooden_chest
cverbs read

verb read flyer
say It's a flyer for *The Last Resort*, a nightclub on the edge of Hobbington. On the back, scrawled in haste: <b>*Ask for Melina.*</b>
tag flyer read

thing bunch_of_cash
tags portable
prop desc A thick wad of grubby notes, bound together with a rubber band.
prop contained_in wooden_chest

room hobbington
prop display Hobbington Village
prop desc The heart of the village hums with quiet industry. Cobbled paths wind between moss-covered hobbit holes and tilted signposts. Smoke curls from chimneys into a violet sky, while hobbits mill about with baskets, tools, and mild complaints. You hear the distant thud of a blacksmith’s hammer and the occasional bleating of sheep.
west tunnel_like_hall
east market_square
north gloomy

room gloomy <div class="gloomy"></div>You are in a gloomy empty land with dreary hills ahead.
prop display gloomy empty land
north north_road
south hobbington

rule
at hobbington
run random_hobbit_activity

proc random_hobbit_activity
say
random x 3
!eq $x 1: A hobbit with red sideburns mutters to himself: "Never trust a Took with your rhubarb..."
!eq $x 2: You see Belladonna Proudfoot haggling over a pie, slapping the vendor with a mitten for trying to raise the price.
!eq $x 3: A young hobbit named Timwise zips past you on a scooter, nearly toppling over a wheelbarrow of mushrooms.

thing taxicab
loc hobbington
verbs climb_in
prop desc A squat, yellow wagon-like cab with hand-painted signs. Its wheels creak and groan with every gust of wind.

verb climb_in taxicab
say You knock on the taxi window. A hairy arm rolls it down, revealing a beady-eyed hobbit in mirrored shades.
say
say "Where to, big-fella?" he asks, scratching his neck.
say
goto inside_taxi

room inside_taxi
prop display Back Seat of a Taxicab
prop desc The air is thick with the scent of stale pipe smoke and pickled onion crisps. A pine-scented charm shaped like a dragon dangles from the mirror. You feel slightly too large for the upholstery.
verbs exit_taxi

thing taxi_driver
loc inside_taxi
tags alive male conversation
prop desc A wiry hobbit with nicotine-stained fingers and an encyclopedic knowledge of Shire backroads.
verbs talk
prop start_conversation The taxi driver glances at you in the rear-view mirror, then turns his head slowly to look at you over the seat. "Something on your mind, friend?"
prop end_conversation The taxi driver shrugs and turns back to the wheel, humming a slow tune that sounds vaguely like 'Brand new key' by the Wurzels.

setverb ask_taxi_driver name
at inside_taxi

rule
at inside_taxi
gt daiquiri.drank 3
say
say The taxi starts to spin round and round. You feel a little drunk!
say
say <b>Suddenly, you throw up all over the back seat.</b>
say
say "Nooo!" The taxi driver cries, "It'll take me ages to clean that up! <b>GET OUT OF MY TAXI!</b>"
say
goto the_last_resort
hide taxicab
tag taxicab sick

verb ask_taxi_driver name
at inside_taxi
say "My name's Benny, Mac! Thanks for asking.. not many people do. I've got 5 little hobbits to feed, so all tips are appreciated."

setverb ask_taxi_driver the_last_resort 
has flyer read
!at secret_tunnel
!thingat taxicab the_last_resort

setverb ask_taxi_driver hobbiton
at inside_taxi
!thingat taxicab hobbington

verb ask_taxi_driver the_last_resort
at inside_taxi
carried bunch_of_cash
say The taxi pulls up to the curb. You pay the fare and get out.
say
goto the_last_resort
put taxicab the_last_resort
assign taxilocation the_last_resort

verb ask_taxi_driver hobbiton
at inside_taxi
!thingat taxicab hobbington
say The taxi pulls up to the curb. You pay the fare and get out.
goto hobbington
put taxicab hobbington
assign taxilocation hobbington

verb ask_taxi_driver the_last_resort
at inside_taxi
!carried bunch_of_cash
say "I'll need to see some cash before I take you anywheres, pal!"

verb exit_taxi
goto $taxilocation

room market_square
prop display The Market Square
prop desc The square bustles with life. Makeshift stalls line the road, selling everything from turnip wine to forged family trees. A chorus of bartering voices blends with the clatter of wooden carts. Somewhere, a street bard wheezes out a tune on a battered accordion.
west hobbington
east east_road

thing inn
loc market_square
verbs enter
prop desc A crooked wooden sign dangles above the door of the Green Dragon Inn, swinging in the breeze.

thing toothpaste_shop Thorin's Toothpaste Store
loc market_square
verbs enter
prop desc The store has gone to rack and ruin. There is a sign on the door saying 'Closed forever'.

verb enter toothpaste_shop
say There is a sign on the door saying 'Closed forever'.

verb enter inn
goto inn

room inn
prop desc <div class="greendragon"></div>Inside the inn, the scent of ale, old wood, and roast root vegetables clings to every surface. A fire crackles in the hearth, casting long shadows over wooden benches filled with hobbits arguing about riddles and politics.
out market_square
prop display The Green Dragon Inn

room east_road
prop display The East Road
prop desc The road stretches out into low hills, eventually leading to the Bridge of Doom. The gravel is damp and the wind is picking up. You can hear something howling faintly in the distance.
west hobbington

room north_road
prop display The North Road
prop desc Towering green hills give way to dense woods. Branches claw at the sky like gnarled fingers. The road north winds into uncertainty.
north forest
south gloomy

room the_last_resort
prop display The Last Resort
prop desc <div class="lastresort"></div>You are outside the nightclub "The Last Resort". The only discoteque in Hobbiton! A Neon sign flickers against the haze of cigerette smoke. Thudding bass pulses through the walls. A velvet rope separates this shadowy nightclub from the road outside.
verbs enter

verb enter
at the_last_resort
goto dance_floor

room dance_floor
prop display Dance Floor
prop desc <div class="dancefloor"></div>The bassline threatens to unseat your heart. The strobes slice through darkness, illuminating a sweaty crowd of hobbits, elves, and the occasional reforming goblin grinding to an off-brand disco beat. The DJ, wearing sunglasses indoors, pumps his fist repeatedly. To the south is the bar. A velvet rope guards the eastern VIP section.
south last_resort_bar
east vip_area
verbs leave_club

room vip_area 
prop display VIP Area
west dance_floor
east vip_toilet
prop desc You are in the velvet-rope sanctuary of the Last Resort's VIP lounge. The low thrum of bass seeps through the padded walls. Hobbits and Elves lounge in curved leather booths, bathed in violet light, sipping sharp cocktails from crystal glasses. You feel eyes flick toward you, then away.<br><br>A bunch of hobbits are sat around a glass table.

room vip_toilet You are in the VIP multi-sex toilets. It's nice in here - gleaming polished surfaces. Very plush!
west vip_area
prop display VIP Toilets

rule
at vip_toilet
has hobbits gone
say
say Where on earth did all the hobbits go? You definitely saw them come in here...

thing toilet_cubicle
loc vip_toilet
prop desc There is a sign on the door saying <b>OUT OF ORDER</b>.
verbs enter

verb enter toilet_cubicle
goto inside_toilet_cubicle

room inside_toilet_cubicle You are inside a toilet cubicle. There is a sign hanging on the flush which says "<u><b>BROKEN. DO NOT USE</b></u>"
verbs leave
prop display Inside Toilet Cubicle

thing broken_flush
loc inside_toilet_cubicle
verbs flush
prop desc A flush (broken) with a sign hanging on it (saying it's broken.).

verb flush broken_flush
has hobbits gone: Why? It's broken and you haven't even been to the toilet.
say Taking no notice of the sign, you flush the toilet.
say To your amazement, the toilet rocks back on a hinge, revealing a secret tunnel beneath!
open inside_toilet_cubicle down secret_tunnel
hide broken_flush

verb leave
at inside_toilet_cubicle
goto vip_toilet

rule
at vip_toilet
random x 8
eq $x 4
say A hobbit walks out of one of the cubicles. His eyes are red and he's rubbing nis nose.

thing mel Melina
tags alive female conversation
prop desc A tough, beautiful, athletic elf with a quick temper and quicker reflexes. Her eyes flash with fire. She probably knows karate.
verbs talk
prop start_conversation Melina crosses her arms and gives you her attention.
prop end_conversation She brushes a lock of hair out of her eyes and goes back to keeping an eye on things.

thing hobbits bunch of hobbits
loc vip_area
tags alive plural
prop desc A rowdy gaggle of short, sunburnt hobbits in loud Hawaiian shirts. Their breath reeks of mead, and their dental hygiene is just shocking, frankly.
verbs talk

rule
at vip_area
here hobbits
random x 5
eq $x 3
say
say One of the hobbits stands up and goes to the toilet. He comes back a few moments later, a glassy look in his eye and a strange grin.

setverb say_mel hello
at last_resort_bar
setverb ask_mel Baldo
at vip_area
setverb ask_mel Hobbits
at vip_area

verb ask_mel Hobbits
say You enquire about the hobbits sat at your table.
say
say Mel points at each one individually. "May I present Vimto, Bunion, Titch, Badger and Nipple."
say
say "Hi guys!" You shake each Hobbits hand one by one.
say
tag hobbits done

verb talk mel
gt daiquiri.drank 3
say You go to speak to Mel, but you are more drunk than you first thought. You can't get your words out!
say
say You try to tell her how beautiful she is, but instead you feel yourself start to vomit. You quickly pick up the champagne bucket and are sick inside it.
say
say Mel throws a glass of iced water over you, which sobers you up quickly.
assign daiquiri.drank 0

rule
here hobbits
chance 1 5
say
pick hobbit these Vimto Bunion Titch Badger Nipple
say {$hobbit} starts singing a song about gold.

verb talk hobbits
random x 6
!eq $x 1: "Vimto raises his glass. 'To the good life — and gooseberries!'"
!eq $x 2: "Bunion belches. 'You ever tried kissing a dwarf? Slippery buggers.'"
!eq $x 3: "Titch grins. 'I once stole a pony from a wizard. Still have the hooves.'"
!eq $x 4: "Badger leans in, whispering, 'I heard Nipple’s got a tattoo of Randalf on his backside.'"
!eq $x 5: "Nipple squints through one eye. 'Did someone spike my daiquiri with Ent-draught again?'"
!eq $x 6: "Vimto sighs. 'You know what I miss? Third Breakfast. And me ex-wife. But mostly Third Breakfast.'"

rule
at vip_area
has hobbits done
here hobbits
random x 4
eq $x 1
run riders

rule
at vip_area
here darkriders
here mel
say
say Melina is here, vailiantly holding back the dark riders with a broken bottle of Krystal.

proc riders
say
say <b>Suddenly - a scream cuts through the nightclub!</b>
say
say On the dance floor there is chaos. A group of cloaked strangers burst through the mirrored wall, swords slicing through the haze and hobbits alike. Heads hit the floor with soft, wet thuds.
say
say "It's the Dark Riders!!" Melina cries. "Quick – into the escape tunnel! I'll try and hold them off - I'll meet you inside the tunnel!"
say
say The VIP Hobbits spring into motion and pile into the VIP toilet.
put hobbits secret_tunnel
hide taxicab
untag taxi_driver conversation
put darkriders vip_area
tag hobbits gone
write vip_area.desc You are in the VIP area of the Last Resort. The place is a mess of broken champagne bottles and dead hobbits. Blood covers the walls and floor.
bring bottle
!has taxicab sick
put taxi_driver secret_tunnel
add score 55

thing bottle
tags portable
prop desc A bottle half full of a dark brown liquid. The label on the bottle says "Shire Ale". It looks potent, flammable stuff!

thing matchbook
tags portable
loc vip_area
prop desc The matchbook has The Last Resort on the cover. It has a single match left inside it.

verb ask_mel Baldo
say "Where have you <i>been</i> these last 10 months, Baldo? You just disappeared. Things have got worse in Hobbiton since you left. The evil Tom Fallows now has total control over the toothpaste industry."

verb say_mel hello
say "Hello!" you say, your voice barely heard over the deep throb of bass.
say
say <b>SLAP!</b>
say
say The palm of her hand leaves a mark on your cheek.
say
say "I thought you were dead!! Where have you been, Baldo?"
say
say "My name's not Baldo... it's Dave! And I don't remember who you are!"
say
say Her voice cracks like ice underfoot. "What are you talking about?? Your name is Baldo Bobbins and you were my boyfriend! Before you disappeared for ten months!"
say
say "I don't, I don't...remember."
say
say "Look, we can't talk here - let's go over to the VIP area."
say
say You follow her past the bouncer and the velvet rope into the VIP area.
say
goto vip_area
put mel vip_area

verb go east
at dance_floor
thingat mel vip_area
say A bulky hobbit blocks your path. He's built like a wine barrel and has a shiner the size of a plum.
say
say "VIPs only," he growls, arms crossed like castle gates.
say
say Then a voice cuts through the sweat and neon—
say
say "It's OK – he's with me," says a dark-haired elf in six-inch heels and a dead-eyed stare.
say
say The hobbit nods, unhooks the velvet rope, and you step into the shadows of the lounge.
say
goto vip_area

verb go east
at dance_floor
!thingat mel vip_area
say A bulky hobbit with a shiner and a gold-plated tooth bars your way.
say "VIPs only," he grunts, unmoved.

verb go west
at vip_area
here darkriders
here mel
say
say "What are you doing, you fool!" Mel screams at you, "Get to the tunnel!!"

verb talk mel
here darkriders
say
say "What are you doing, you fool!" Mel screams at you, "Get to the tunnel!!"

room last_resort_bar The bar is sticky and glowing. Bottles line the mirrored wall in neat pyramids, half-filled with syrupy liquor. A crooked neon sign flickers overhead, spelling out "DAIQUIRIS" in buzzing pink. This is where the lost come to drown quietly before crawling back to their holes.
prop display Last Resort Bar
north dance_floor

thing prostitute three-breasted hobbit
loc last_resort_bar
tags alive female
verbs talk
prop desc A cheeky, busty hobbit with an extra helping of charm—literally. She stands confidently at the bar, grinning through lipstick-smeared teeth, her eyes twinkling with mischief. Her low-cut corset struggles heroically to contain her three ample assets, which she flaunts with no small amount of pride. The smell of ale, pipe smoke, and cheap perfume clings to her like a second skin.

verb talk prostitute
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "Well, well, handsome. You look like you could use some company tonight."
!eq $x 2: "I bet you wish you had 3 hands, don't you sugar?"
!eq $x 3: "Don’t be shy, darling. The night’s young and so am I."
say You shrug her off, not really in the mood.

thing barman barman with rotten teeth
loc last_resort_bar
tags alive male conversation
prop desc A scruffy dwarf with a tangled beard and the worst teeth you've ever seen—yellow, cracked, and seemingly moving of their own accord. His eyes are bloodshot, and he polishes glasses with a rag that might be dirtier than the glasses.
verbs talk
prop start_conversation The barman squints at you, one eyebrow twitching. "You lost or just ugly?"
prop end_conversation The barman snorts and goes back to wiping the same glass he’s been polishing since you walked in.

setverb ask_barman melina
!has barman mel
setverb ask_barman drink

verb ask_barman drink 
say "We’ve got a special on tonight – Gooseberry Daiquiris."
say
say "I'll try a Goosberry Daiquiri please!" You say.
say
say The barman puts one down in front of you.
bring daiquiri

thing daiquiri Gooseberry Daiquiri
verbs drink
prop desc A lurid green cocktail in a martini glass. The smell alone could strip paint, but it's popular with the locals.

verb drink daiquiri
say
say You sip it slowly. It's very nice, so you sip some more.
say You pour the rest of the glass down your neck.
hide daiquiri
add daiquiri.drank 1

verb ask_barman melina
held bunch_of_cash
say "What do you want with Melina?" the barman asks, polishing a glass with a rag that looks dirtier than the floor. "The thing is...Mel’s picky. Real picky about who she talks to."
say
say <b>You slap the wad of cash down on the bar.</b> He raises an eyebrow.
say
say "MEL!!!" He shouts over to the VIP lounge, "Some bloke here to see you!"
say
say A long-legged elf with dark brown hair walks over. The barman scoops up the money and goes back to serving customers.
bring mel
hide bunch_of_cash
tag barman mel

verb ask_barman melina
say "What do you want with Melina?" the barman asks, narrowing his eyes.
say
say "The thing is..." he continues, "Mel’s real picky about who she talks to..."

verb leave_club
at dance_floor
goto the_last_resort

room secret_tunnel The tunnel reeks - damp stone and... other things. Candles sputter against the slime-lined walls, their light barely holding back the dark. You hear the muffled thump of dance music far behind you, swallowed by rock. Shadows shift.
prop display A Secret Tunnel
southeast more_tunnel
up vip_toilet
tags tunnel

verb go up
at secret_tunnel
has molotov_cocktail used
say There is no going back there now! There is only forwards!

rule
at secret_tunnel
!has shirt available
random x 5
eq $x 1: <br>It's very warn in this tunnel...and only getting warmer!
say "I'm getting too hot..." Bunion says, taking off his Aloha Hawaiian shirt and throwing it to the ground.
bring shirt
tag shirt available

thing shirt Aloha Hawaiian Shirt
tags portable
prop desc A garish Hawaiian shirt covered in lurid orange hibiscus flowers and faded palm trees. It smells of cheap aftershave and hobbit body odour.

setverb put_shirt_in_bottle shirt
held shirt
carried bottle

verb put_shirt_in_bottle shirt
say You tear a piece from the shirt and stick it inside the half full bottle of ale.
hide shirt
hide bottle
carry molotov_cocktail
add score 25

thing molotov_cocktail
tags portable
cverbs light

verb light molotov_cocktail
carried matchbook: Light it with what..?
at vip_area: Not here - you have one oppurtunity with this plan - don't waste it!
here darkriders
say <b>You light the molotov cocktail and throw it into the horde of dark riders!</b>
say
say "Run to the tunnel!!" You scream over the noise, and you and Melina charge into the toilets and throw yourself down into the tunnel as a huge explosion engulfs the Last Resort.
say
goto secret_tunnel
bring mel
hide molotov_cocktail
tag molotov_cocktail used
add score 70

setverb ask_mel dark_riders
at secret_tunnel

verb ask_mel dark_riders
at secret_tunnel
say "The Dark Riders do the dirty work for the Dark Overlord," Melina says, voice flat. "They don’t talk. They don’t think. They slice heads. Clean. Precise. Like they enjoy it."

setverb ask_mel secret_tunnel
at secret_tunnel

verb ask_mel secret_tunnel
at secret_tunnel
say "This leads us to Randalf. He will need to talk to you! Follow me!"
say Melina heads southeast along the dark tunnel.
say
put mel more_tunnel
tag mel moving

rule
has mel moving
random x 3
eq $x 1
thingat mel more_tunnel
sayat more_tunnel Melina moves along the tunnel.
put mel yet_more_tunnel

rule
!has yet_more_tunnel trapdoor
at yet_more_tunnel
has mel moving
random x 4
eq $x 1
thingat mel yet_more_tunnel
sayat yet_more_tunnel <b>Melina opens a hidden trap door in the ceiling.</b>
open yet_more_tunnel up inn
tag yet_more_tunnel trapdoor

rule
at yet_more_tunnel
has yet_more_tunnel trapdoor
has mel moving
random x 3
eq $x 1
thingat mel yet_more_tunnel
sayat yet_more_tunnel Melina climbs up into the inn.
put mel inn
untag mel moving

verb talk taxi_driver
at secret_tunnel
say "What are <i>you</i> doing here??" You ask.
say
say "The dark riders think I'm with you! They were going to kill me! I can't be killed - I have 5 young hobbits to feed!"

room more_tunnel You are further along the dark, damp tunnel, which leads southeast and southwest.
prop display more secret tunnel
southeast yet_more_tunnel
southwest secret_tunnel
tags tunnel

rule
has $room tunnel
bring hobbits
!has taxicab sick
bring taxi_driver

room yet_more_tunnel You are in even more tunnel! It comes to an end here and you are faced with a a brick wall.
prop display Yet more tunnel
southwest more_tunnel
tags tunnel

verb go up
at yet_more_tunnel
say You climb up through the trapdoor and are struck by a wave of warmth and light, and the smell of roast boar on a spit.
run enterinn

proc enterinn
say
goto inn
put mel inn
put randalf inn
put hobbits inn
!has taxicab sick
put taxi_driver inn
add score 55

rule
at inn
here taxi_driver
here hobbits
say
say "At last I've found you, Randalf!" The cab driver says, pulling out a shotgun he was hiding under his coat and aiming it at the old wizard.
say
say "Noooooooo!!" The hobbits all scream in unison, diving in front of the shotgun blast.
say
say Melina, thinking on her feet, grabs the taxi driver by the neck as he attempts to reload. With a quick flick of her wrist, she snaps his neck and he crumples to the floor.
say
say "Are you OK, Randalf?" She asks.
say
say "I'm OK my child, but I'm afraid the same can not be said for these poor hobbits..."
say
say On the ground are the bodies of poor Vimto, Bunion, Titch, Badger and Nipple, their Hawaiian shirts all torn to pieces and caked with blood. They were so little. Poor, poor chaps.
say
hide taxi_driver
tag taxi_driver dead
tag taxi_driver sick
hide hobbits
tag hobbits dead
bring corpses
add score 25

thing corpses Dead Bodies
tags plural
prop desc A mass mangle of dead bodies, shot to pieces from a single blast of a shotgun. The corpse of a taxi driver is here too, his neck broken - gone to the big taxi depot in the sky.

setverb ask_randalf dead_bodies
here corpses
verb ask_randalf dead_bodies
say "Don't worry about them - I have a man who takes care of this sort of thing. He'll dispose of the bodies, don't you worry."
setverb ask_randalf quest
thingat randalf inn
setverb ask_randalf fallows
has randalf fallows
setverb ask_randalf dragon
has randalf dragon
setverb say_randalf yes
has randalf mission
setverb say_randalf no
has randalf mission
!has randalf grumpy

verb ask_randalf quest
say "Ah, yes - young Baldo. We have a quest for you! As you may have noticed," Randalf began, "everyone in Hobbiton has horrendous dental hygiene. Even my own teeth, of which I used to pride myself on, have gone green or fallen out. It wasn't always so. People who lived in Hobbiton used to have the whitest teeth in the land and the best-smelling breath this side of the Misty Mountains. That was before Fallows came along with his evil goblins."
tag randalf fallows

verb ask_randalf fallows
say "Tom Fallows took control of every toothpaste factory in Hobbiton. He raised the prices by 1000%, making it impossible for us to afford to buy toothpaste, mouthwash, or even floss."
say
say "But can’t you open your own toothpaste factory? It's an open market, isn't it?"
say
say "Would that we could, young Baldo, would that we could! Anyone who tries setting up a rival toothpaste factory gets a visit from the dark riders. Hooded, evil beings who burn the factories to the ground, laughing as they do so...Our only hope lies to the north, beyond the elf villages, past the misty mountains, over the crimson seas... to Mordor... and the legend of the toothpaste dragon."
tag randalf dragon

verb ask_randalf dragon
say "The toothpaste dragon??"
say 
say "Yes, a fabled dragon that breathes toothpaste. They say his cave is full of more toothpaste than you could ever possibly imagine. Enough to provide good dental care for every Hobbit for the next 150 years—or until Tom Fallows is dead, whichever comes first."
say
say "And just where do I fit into all this?"
say 
say "You must find the dragon! Bring back the toothpaste! We are counting on you, Baldo Bobbins. So what is it to be, Bobbins? Do you accept the mission?"
tag randalf mission

verb say_randalf yes
!has randalf grumpy
say Randalf slaps you on the back. A bit too roughly as a matter of fact, it will probably leave a bruise.
say
say "That's what I like to hear, Bobbins! Good man! Good man, indeed! Well then, you better get started, no time like the present - what?"
say
say Randalf walks to the back of the inn and opens a window.
say
say "This window leads to the back of the inn. From there you can cut through the brush and you'll find yourself on a dark forest path. From then on, you're on your own! Here's an apple."
say
say Randalf hands you an apple.
say
say "Good luck!"
carry apple
say
say With a cheery wave of his staff, he practically pushes you out of the window, closing it behind him. You find yourself alone, once more.
say
goto inn_garden
add score 55

verb say_randalf yes
has randalf grumpy
say Randalf cheers up, stand up straight and slaps you on the back. A bit too roughly as a matter of fact, it will probably leave a bruise.
say
say "That's what I like to hear, Bobbins! Good man! Good man, indeed! Well then, you better get started, no time like the present - what?"
say
say Randalf grabs your arm and together you walk back to the green dragon inn. He points to an open window in the back.
say
say "This window leads to the old beer garden of the inn. From there you can cut through the brush and you'll find yourself on a dark forest path. From then on, you're on your own! Here's an apple."
say
say Randalf hands you an apple.
say
say "Good luck!"
carry apple
say
say With a cheery wave of his staff, he practically pushes you out of the window, closing it behind him. You find yourself alone, once more.
say
goto inn_garden
untag randalf grumpy
put randalf inn
add score 55

thing apple
tags portable edible
prop desc A green, bruised apple.

verb say_randalf no
say Randalf looks at you for a second, like he can't quite believe what you've just said.
say
say Then his eyes start to water.
say
say "I think I need to be alone." He says, walking out of the inn door, his shoulders slumped.
say
say "You should go to him." Mel says, her hand on your shoulder.
put randalf forest
tag randalf grumpy

rule
at forest
here randalf
has randalf grumpy
say
say Randalf is here, sat on a log and looking up at the sky. He looks very sad.
say

# THIRD ACT #
# PART 3 #

room inn_garden You are in the tangled garden of the Green Dragon Inn. Once a place of merry gatherings and sunlit drinking, it has now fallen to wilderness. Thick brambles choke the winding paths, and gnarled trees lean in from all sides, casting long, unsettling shadows. The air smells of damp earth and old beer.
prop display The Green Dragon Garden
northeast darkpath

room darkpath You are on a dark forest path. Foreboding trees line tightly on either side. Things seem to move in the shadows beyond them.  
south trollclearing
southwest inn_garden
prop display Dark Path

thing signpost
loc darkpath
desc A weathered wooden signpost pointing south.
verbs read

verb read signpost
say <b>"South to the Bridge of Doom"</b>

room trollclearing <div class="trollclearing"></div>You are in the trolls' clearing. Moss-covered rocks and the scattered remains of old bones lie underfoot. To the south is a looming stone door carved with ancient runes.  
north darkpath
east hiddenpath
south trollcave
southeast bridgeofdoom
prop display Troll Clearing
tags trolls

rule
at trollclearing
has trollclearing trolls
!has trollcave escaped
say
say You crouch down behind a bush. Two trolls are sitting chatting round a large cooking pot. They seem to be eating sausages. The moon is full behind them. Somewhere...an owl hoots.

verb go south
at trollclearing
has trollclearing trolls
run trollseen
verb go east
at trollclearing
has trollclearing trolls
run trollseen
verb go southeast
at trollclearing
has trollclearing trolls
run trollseen

proc trollseen
say
say As you stand up to move - the trolls spot you!
say
say "Gor, look at that — can you cook it?" the hideous troll says after seeing you.
say
say "You could try, but I bet he wouldn't make a mouthful!" the vicious troll replies.
say
say They grab you, bundle you into a sack and dump you somewhere dark and damp.
say
goto inside_a_sack

rule
at trollclearing
has trollcave escaped
here vicious
say
say <b>The trolls see you!</b>
say
say "How did you get out of that sack?" One of the trolls ask whilst putting you back inside the sack.
say
goto inside_a_sack

room inside_a_sack You are inside a sack which is tightly bound.
prop display Inside a sack
verbs tear aggitate nibble lurch dodge elbow

# DENTAL

verb dodge
say You try to dodge your way out of the sack.
at inside_a_sack
goto inside_a_sack2

verb elbow
say You try to elbow your way out of the sack
at inside_a_sack2
goto inside_a_sack3
verb elbow
!at inside_a_sack2
goto inside_a_sack

verb nibble
say You try to nibble your way out of the sack
at inside_a_sack3
goto inside_a_sack4
verb nibble
!at inside_a_sack3
goto inside_a_sack

verb tear
say You try to tear your way out of the sack
at inside_a_sack4
goto inside_a_sack5
verb tear
!at inside_a_sack4
goto inside_a_sack

verb aggitate
say You try to aggitate the sack somehow.
at inside_a_sack5
goto inside_a_sack6
verb aggitate
!at inside_a_sack5
goto inside_a_sack

verb lurch
say You try to lurch the sack this way and that.
at inside_a_sack6
say
say <b> The sack finally breaks open and you roll out onto the floor!</b>
goto trollcave
tag trollcave escaped
add score 25

room inside_a_sack2 You are inside a sack which is tightly bound.
prop display Inside a sack
verbs tear aggitate nibble lurch elbow
tags insack

room inside_a_sack3 You are inside a sack which is tightly bound.
prop display Inside a sack
verbs tear aggitate nibble lurch
tags insack

room inside_a_sack4 You are inside a sack which is tightly bound.
prop display Inside a sack
verbs tear aggitate lurch
tags insack

room inside_a_sack5 You are inside a sack which is tightly bound.
prop display Inside a sack
verbs aggitate lurch
tags insack

room inside_a_sack6 You are inside a sack which is tightly bound.
prop display Inside a sack
verbs lurch 
tags insack

thing cavedoor giant stone door (to south)
loc trollclearing
desc A massive stone slab fitted tightly into the earth. Faint runes glow along its edge.

thing vicious vicious troll
tags alive male 
loc trollclearing
desc A squat, muscular troll with jagged yellow teeth and a permanent sneer.

thing hideous hideous troll
tags alive male 
loc trollclearing
desc Taller and leaner than the other, with weeping sores and a crooked nose that twitches constantly.

thing stewpot
loc trollclearing
desc A bubbling iron pot suspended over a low fire. It smells worse than it looks - and it don't look great!

verb examine stewpot
!here vicious: You move closer to look at the pot but the vicious troll makes a grab at you! You dive out of the way just in time to avoid his greasy warty hands around your neck.
say There are the remains of some poor creature in the bottom of the pot.
bring skeleton

room hiddenpath You are on a narrow, hidden path. Deep troll footprints are pressed into the soft dirt, leading in and out of the trees.  
west trollclearing
prop display Hidden Path

rule
at hiddenpath
hide vicious
hide hideous

room trollcave You are in the trolls' cave. The walls glisten with damp, and the air smells of rotting meat and wet stone.  
north trollclearing
prop display Troll Cave

rule
at inside_a_sack
tag trollcave insack
rule
at trollcave
untag trollcave insack

verb wait
has trollcave insack
has sleeping_bag alarmclock
has alarm_clock dawn
!thingat vicious trollcave
!has vicious sleeping
say
say You wait...and wait...
say
say After some time the trolls enter the cave.
say
say "Bedtime, me old mate! Soon be light out - we don't want to be caught in the sunlight, coz you know what'll happen!
say
say "Yessir - we'll be turned to stone just like old Bazza back when we were lads."
say
say "I'll be glad to see my sleeping bag. Have you set the alarm for nightfall?"
say
say "Aye, that I have. We don't want to sleep past breakfast! Hahaha!"
say
say One of the trolls gives the sack a shake. You think that might imply that <i>you</i> are to be the intended breakfast!
say
say Oh no!
say
say After a while you can hear the trolls start to snore.
put vicious trollcave
put hideous trollcave
tag hideous sleeping
tag vicious sleeping
hide sleeping_bag
untag trollclearing trolls

verb wait
has trollcave insack
has sleeping_bag alarmclock
has alarm_clock dawn
has vicious sleeping
!thingat stonevicious trollclearing

say
say You decide to try and make the best of the situation and get some kip.
say
say <b>You are awoken suddenly a few hours later by the alarm clock going off!<b>
say
say You hear the trolls muttering and moving about. Then you hear the sounds of the giant stone door begin to open...
say
say "BLEEDIN' HECK - THE SUN! THE SUN IS UP - WHAT THE F---"
say
say Then you hear nothing. Nothing but silence.
say
hide vicious 
hide hideous
put stonevicious trollclearing
put stonehideous trollclearing
add score 100

thing stonevicious a vicious-looking stone troll  
prop desc The troll's face is frozen in a snarl, mouth agape and tusk-like teeth bared. Its eyes are wide with rage, though now dulled forever by stone.

thing stonehideous a hideous-looking stone troll  
prop desc Squat and misshapen, this troll seems to have been caught mid-belch, its belly distended and lips curled in a grotesque leer.

thing trolls_sack
loc trollcave
prop desc A filthy burlap sack that reeks of fish bones, sweat, and wet moss. The coarse fabric is covered in patches and crude stitching.
verbs get_in

verb get_in trolls_sack
say You decide that you wish to climb back into the sack. It's cosy in there.
say
goto inside_a_sack

thing sleeping_bag
loc trollcave
desc A foul-smelling, oversized sleeping bag made from stitched-together warg pelts. It’s crusted with dried mud, flecks of meat, and what you desperately hope is just moss.
verbs open
tags alarmclock

verb open sleeping_bag
has sleeping_bag alarmclock: The sleeping bag is empty.
say You open the sleeping bag to find an alarm clock.
bring alarm_clock
untag sleeping_bag alarmclock

thing alarm_clock
tags portable
cverbs set_time

verb set_time alarm_clock
!has alarm_clock dawn
say You set the alarm clock to go off at dawn.
tag alarm_clock dawn

verb set_time alarm_clock
has alarm_clock dawn
say You set the alarm clock to go off at nightfall.
untag alarm_clock dawn

verb examine alarm_clock
say A clunky, old-fashioned metal alarm clock with two dented bells on top and a little hammer poised between them. 
say
has alarm_clock dawn
say The alarm clock is set to go off at dawn.

verb examine alarm_clock
!has alarm_clock dawn
say The alarm clock is set to go off at nightfall.

verb drop alarm_clock
say You put the alarm clock back in the sleeping bag where you found it.
tag sleeping_bag alarmclock
hide alarm_clock

thing skipass ski lift pass
tags portable
desc A laminated pass with a logo of a mountain and a tiny gondola.
cverbs show

thing skeleton
desc The skeleton of a hobbit. It is wearing denim jeans - the color somewhat faded due to them being broiled whilst being worn by the owner.
tags pocketfull

verb examine skeleton
has skeleton pocketfull
say The skeleton of a hobbit. It is wearing denim jeans - the color somewhat faded due to them being broiled whilst being worn by the owner.
bring denim_jeans

thing denim_jeans
desc They are being worn by the skeleton.

verb examine denim_jeans
has skeleton pocketfull
say In the pockets of the jeans you find a ski-lift pass! In suprisingly good condition, too!
bring skipass
untag skeleton pocketfull

room bridgeofdoom <div class="bridgeofdoom"></div>You are at the Bridge of Doom — a narrow structure arching over a black, fast-moving river. Jagged rocks glint below. On the far side, the rooftops of the Elven village peek through the mist.  
south elfvillage
northwest trollclearing
prop display Bridge of Doom

room elfvillage 
north bridgeofdoom
east skilift
northeast fields
prop display Elven Village
prop desc <div class="elfvillage"></div>You are in the Elven village. Slender homes curve into the trees, and little elves move swiftly along cobbled paths. There’s tension in the air — a group of protestors chant angrily, blocking the eastern path.

room fields You are standing in a golden field of barley that sways hypnotically in the breeze. The stalks reach up to your waist, brushing against you like gentle fingers. Somewhere in the distance, a lark sings. The faint outline of rooftops marks the edge of an elvish village to the southwest.
prop display Fields of Barley
southwest elfvillage
north lakeside

rule
!eq $conversation elfonso
thingat elfonso fields
has elfonso lakedirection
random x 5
eq $x 3
sayat fields </br>Elfonso sighs and walks north.</br>
put elfonso lakeside

rule
!eq $conversation elfonso
thingat elfonso fields
has elfonso shopdirection
random x 5
eq $x 3
sayat fields </b>Elfonso sighs and walks southwest.</b>
put elfonso elfvillage

rule
thingat elfonso elfvillage
has elfonso shopdirection
run shopopen

rule
at lakeside
here elfonso
!here catlady
say
say Elfonso is here, sat at the edge of the lake, looking soulfully into the water.
say

rule
thingat elfonso lakeside
!has elfonso ondate
!eq $conversation elfonso
random x 7
eq $x 5
sayat lakeside </br>Elfonso lets out a deep sigh and gets up. He wipes away a tear and walks south.</br>
untag elfonso lakedirection
tag elfonso shopdirection
put elfonso fields

rule
thingat elfonso lakeside
thingat catlady lakeside
sayat lakeside <br>Elfonso and Barbara are sat by the lake, holding each other and staring out into the water, both of them blissfully content.</b>
untag elfonso conversation
untag catlady conversation

room lakeside You are standing at the edge of a vast, glistening lake. Sunlight dances across its surface, casting rippling reflections onto the reeds that line the shore. A gentle breeze carries the scent of water and wildflowers, and somewhere across the lake, you hear the distant splash of a fish breaking the surface.
prop display Lakeside
south fields

thing tobaccoshop tobacco shop
loc elfvillage
verbs enter
prop desc A quaint little establishment with an ornate sign reading “Tobacco & Tinctures.” The windows are fogged with the scent of pipe smoke.

thing cattery elf cattery
loc elfvillage
verbs enter
prop desc A squat wooden building covered in climbing ivy and the faint scent of catnip.

verb enter cattery
goto cattery

verb enter tobaccoshop
!has tobaccoshop closed: The store is closed.
goto tobaccoshop

thing protestors
loc elfvillage
tags alive plural
verbs examine
prop desc A loud and agitated group of elves waving signs and shouting slogans, clearly in the middle of some passionate demonstration.

verb go east
at elfvillage
here protestors
say <b>The protestors stop you in your tracks!</b>
say
say "This route is blocked until further notice!" the leader of the Elven protestors says.
bring winston

thing winston Winston - Protest leader
tags alive male conversation
prop desc A wiry elf with dreadlocked silver hair and smouldering eyes. He exudes righteous fury and faint hints of sandalwood.
prop met_name Winston
verbs talk
prop start_conversation {Winston} stops mid-slogan and squints at you.
prop end_conversation {Winston} turns back to the crowd.

verb talk winston
!carried protestleaflet: "The time for talking has passed - now is the time for action comrade!"
say "Here, take this leaflet which has more information on our plight."
say The elven protest leader hands you a leaflet.
give protestleaflet
add score 25

setverb tell_winston spliff
held stonking_great_spliff

verb tell_winston spliff
say Winston's eyes light up as you take the spliff from your pocket.
say "Would you like this?" you ask, waving it under Winston's nose.
say Winston sniffs once, sniffs twice, then grabs the spliff from your hands.
say "Listen up!" Winston shouts to the protestors. "The protest is on pause until further notice! Everyone can go home!"
say
say There are some murmurs of discontent from the crowd, but eventually the protestors disperse — and Winston shuffles off into the woods.
say
hide protestors
hide stonking_great_spliff
put winston hiddenpath
write elfvillage.desc You are in the Elven village. Slender homes curve into the trees, and little elves move swiftly along cobbled paths.
add score 55

thing protestleaflet pamphlet
tags portable
cverbs read
prop desc A wrinkled leaflet titled “The Right to Roam — Why We March.”

verb read protestleaflet
say The pamphlet reads:
say "<i><b>The Right to Roam – Why We March</i></b>"
say
say "For centuries the elven paths of Hobbington have been open to all races, free to walk and wander under the ancient oaks. Now, fences rise. Permits are required. The Council claims 'safety'—but we see control."
say
say "Join us. Resist. Reclaim the roots beneath your feet."

room cattery You are in the Elven Cattery. Cages are stacked against the walls and mewling fills the air. The faint smell of fish lingers.
prop display Elven Cattery
out elfvillage
north cattery_kitchen

verb go north
at cattery
has cattery_kitchen_door locked
say The door is locked.
here catlady
say "There aint nothing back there fer the likes of you!" The elf cattery lady says, her arms crossed.

verb go out
at cattery
!here catlady
!has cats fed
say You can't go anywhere yet! The cats haven't been fed!

thing cattery_kitchen_door
tags lockable locked
loc cattery
prop locktype cattery_kitchen
prop desc A small wooden door with scratch marks at the base.

room cattery_kitchen You are in the Elven Cattery kitchen. Scuffed tiles, gleaming pans, and a stale smell of fish dominate the cramped space.
prop display Cattery Kitchen
south cattery

thing catfood cat food  
loc cattery_kitchen  
prop desc A half-open tin of lumpy, fish-scented cat food. It's seen better days, but the cats don’t seem to mind.
tags portable

setverb feed cats
carried catfood
here cats

verb feed cats
say You pop open the tin of cat food with a satisfying *clack*, and the scent of mystery meat fills the air.
say The cats rush over in a blur of fur and meows, circling your legs as they begin to tuck in greedily.
tag cats fed
hide catfood
add score 35

thing coffee_pot
loc cattery_kitchen
tags container
verbs open
prop desc A steaming pot of bitter elven roast.

thing tea_pot
loc cattery_kitchen
tags container
verbs open
prop contents herbal_tea_leaves
prop desc A ceramic pot covered in elven runes and dried leaf stains.

thing sugar_pot
loc cattery_kitchen
tags container
verbs open
prop desc A glazed jar with a lid shaped like a cat's paw.

thing herbal_tea_leaves
loc tea_pot
tags portable
prop desc A small bundle of suspiciously pungent herbal tea leaves.

setverb make_a_roll_up rizla
held rizla
carried herbal_tea_leaves

verb make_a_roll_up rizla
hide rizla
hide herbal_tea_leaves
give stonking_great_spliff
say With nimble fingers you use the rizla paper and suspicious 'tea' leaves to make a stonking great spliff.
add score 25

thing stonking_great_spliff
tags portable
cverbs smoke
prop desc A thick, aromatic roll-up that smells suspiciously potent.

verb smoke stonking_great_spliff
say You promised yourself you would lay off the stuff!

thing catlady elven cattery worker
tags alive female conversation
loc cattery
verbs examine talk
prop met_name Barbara
prop desc She is tall and beautiful, with long flowing blonde hair tucked behind pointy elven ears. Her hypnotic green eyes hide behind unfashionable glasses.
prop start_conversation {Barbara} glances up shyly from her paperwork.
prop end_conversation {Barbara} returns her focus to the cats.

verb talk catlady
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "They say elves can’t love — I disagree. Look at these cats."
!eq $x 2: "Each one of these little guys was abandoned. Makes you think, doesn’t it?"
!eq $x 3: "People think catteries are quiet. But that meowing gets into your brain after a while."

verb examine catlady
say She is tall and beautiful, with long flowing blonde hair which is tucked behind her pointy elven ears. Her hypnotic green eyes are hidden behind unfashionable glasses. She seems unsure of her beauty, and comes across as timid and shy, never meeting your eyes.
tag catlady examined

verb examine elfonso
say He is a short, squat elf with broad shoulders, beer belly and a comb over to cover a balding bonce.
tag elfonso examined

thing cats
loc cattery
tags alive plural
prop desc A scraggly assembly of rescued cats — fluffy, scabby, regal, rude. All meowing at once.

room tobaccoshop <div class="tobaccoshop"></div>You are in the Elven Tobacco Shop. The air is thick with pipe smoke and possibilities. Ornate jars line the walls, each labelled with curling gold script.
prop display Elven Tobacco Shop
out elfvillage

thing elfonso Elfonso the tobacconist
tags male alive conversation
loc tobaccoshop
verbs examine talk
prop met_name Elfonso
prop desc A short, squat elf with a comb-over and the hopeful eyes of a romantic. His stained apron reads "Smoke Dreams."
prop start_conversation {Elfonso} adjusts his apron nervously.
prop end_conversation {Elfonso} looks away, polishing a pipe.

verb talk elfonso
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "A fresh roll-up for a fresh perspective, I always say."
!eq $x 2: "They don’t make lighters like they used to, you know."
!eq $x 3: "Romance and tobacco — two fires that burn the heart."

setverb ask_catlady elfonso
has elfonso examined

setverb ask_elfonso catlady
has catlady examined

verb ask_elfonso catlady
say "Ah yes, Barbara the catlady. She is so beautiful, isn't she. If only I could sum up the courage to ask her on a date."
tag elfonso date

verb ask_catlady elfonso
say "Ah yes, Elfonso the Elf tobacconist. What a man. Whenever I see him I feel quite weak at the knees!"

setverb ask_catlady date
has elfonso date

verb ask_catlady date
say "I think Elfonso would be very interested in meeting you... if you were to give him a sign perhaps." You say.
say
say "Oh - I don't know. How can I be sure what kind of elf he is? If only I knew what star sign he was! If he was an Aquarius - then I would be sure!"
tag elfonso starsign

setverb ask_elfonso starsign
has elfonso starsign

verb ask_elfonso starsign
say "Why, I'm an Aquarius of course! Why do you ask?"
tag elfonso aquarius

setverb tell_catlady aquarius
has elfonso aquarius

verb tell_catlady aquarius
say "He's an Aquarius??? Oh my!!" The Cat lady says, blushing. "And you are 100% sure he likes me. I mean, I've got to be 100% sure!"
tag elfonso sure

setverb ask_elfonso sure
has elfonso sure

verb ask_elfonso sure
say "Am I sure??? Boy oh boy oh boy, am I sure! I've loved her from a distance for years and years! I've written poetry about her! I've woke up crying from dreams when I've laid in her arms! Please - fix me up with a date!"
tag catlady date

setverb tell_catlady im_done
has catlady date

verb tell_catlady im_done
say "He's 100% sure he likes me...and he's an Aquarius! Oh my, oh my...I've got to go and talk to him right now! Will you do me a favor and watch the cattery. It's their feeding time right now, if you could give them their lunch. Here, take the keys to the kitchen! Wish me luck!!" 
say
say <b>And with that, the cat lady throws you the keys to the kitchen and runs out the door.</b>
put catlady lakeside
put elfonso lakeside
tag tobaccoshop closed
tag elfonso ondate
give cattery_keys
add score 60

thing cattery_keys
tags portable key
prop locktype cattery_kitchen
prop desc A jangly ring with a cartoon cat keyring on it.

thing rizla rizla paper
tags portable
loc tobaccoshop
prop desc A packet of thin rolling papers — half empty and slightly crushed.

rule
at tobaccoshop
tag elfonso met

rule
has elfonso met
!has tobaccoshop closed
random x 15
eq $x 5
run closeshop

proc closeshop
!eq $conversation elfonso
say
sayat tobaccoshop  Elfonso takes out a big set of keys.
sayat elfvillage Elfonso walks out of his shop. He is holding a big set of keys.
say
sayat tobaccoshop "If you excuse me I need to close the shop for a while. I have something to do."
sayat elfvillage He pulls down the shutters of the shop and then walks off in a northeasterly directon.
say
sayat tobaccoshop He guides you out of the shop, closes the door and pulls down some shutters, locking them with the keys. He then rambles off to the northeast.
say
goto elfvillage
put elfonso fields
tag tobaccoshop closed
tag elfonso lakedirection

proc shopopen
!eq $conversation elfonso
sayat elfvillage </br> Elfonso unlocks the shutters and opens the store. He walks inside.</br>
untag tobaccoshop closed
put elfonso tobaccoshop
untag elfonso shopdirection

rule
at tobaccoshop
here rizla
here elfonso
tag elfonso watch
random x 4
eq $x 1: <br>Elfonso is watching you suspiciously.
say <br>Elfonso turns his back to you.
untag elfonso watch

verb take rizla
at tobaccoshop
here elfonso
has elfonso watch
say "Put that down right now! That's not for hobbits!" Elfonso demands.

room skilift <div class="skilift"></div>You are at the ski-lift at the base of the Misty Mountains. A chill wind cuts through the air as snowy peaks loom overhead.
prop display Ski Lift Base
west elfvillage

thing ski_lift
loc skilift
verbs enter
prop desc A mechanical gondola hanging from a steel cable — looks barely safe enough to trust.

thing ski_lift_operator
tags alive male
loc skilift
verbs examine talk
prop met_name Gondor
prop desc A portly Northerner with a braided red beard and beer-stained mittens. He has the bored eyes of a man who’s seen too many tourists.
prop start_conversation {Gondor} spits into a tin cup and eyes you lazily.
prop end_conversation {Gondor} leans back on his stool and stares into space.

verb talk ski_lift_operator
random x 2
!eq $x 1: "Ey-up lad. Fog’s coming in thick up the ridge."
!eq $x 2: "Been running this lift since I were a lad. Ain’t broke once. Well... twice."

verb enter ski_lift
at skilift
!has skipass shown
here ski_lift_operator
say The ski lift operator stops you in your tracks.
say
say "Ey-up lad, thou better be showing me 'ski-pass like, before you starts thinking about getting on t'ski-lift."

verb show skipass
at skilift
here ski_lift_operator
carried skipass
say The ski lift operator eyes your ski-pass carefully, turning it over and holding it up against the light, making absolutely sure it's not a forgery.
say
say After a bit of consternation, he hands it back. "OK lad, looks genuine enuff... climb aboard. Hands inside the ski-lift at all times, mate."
tag skipass shown
add score 40

verb show skipass
!here ski_lift_operator
say As lovely as it is, nobody here is interested in seeing your ski-pass!

verb enter ski_lift
at skilift
has skipass shown
goto gondola
say You walk into the Gondola and the operator shuts the door behind you. He pulls a lever, and with a grinding of gears the gondola begins to ascend upwards - into the Misty Mountains!
say
add score 25

room gondola You are inside the ski-lift gondola. The world sways slightly as the mountains begin to roll slowly beneath you.
prop display Gondola

thing paperback_novel
tags portable
cverbs read

verb read paperback_novel
say The title is called <b>"The Cucumber Criminal."</b>
say Intrigued, you skim-read a random page.
say
say <i>In a private cubicile in the airport toilets, Scott Macarthur slowly squeezed the cocaine-stuffed cucumber snugly inside his rectum.</i>
say
say <i>His drug-smuggling associates often suggested that balloons or condoms were much more comfortable, and not to mention practical, but Scott was a maverick and swore by his method.</i>
say
say <i>This is what had earned Scott the moniker "The Cucumber Criminal."</i>

verb wait
at gondola
add gondola.wait 1
!eq gondola.wait 1:  Slowly, slowly, ever-so-slowly the gondola begins it's ascent into the Misty Mountains. Outside the window you can see the tops of the houses of the elf village, dark tiny specks at this altitude, and they gradually disappear into mistiness.
!eq gondola.wait 2: There is nothing to see but mist now. Mist Mist Mist! The gondola creaks and groans under it's own weight, and sways slowly.
say With a shuddering halt, the gondola finally arrives at it's destination! 
open gondola out misty

room misty You are standing outside a ski-lift on an icy ledge somewhere in the very peaks of the misty mountains. Looking down from the ledge, all you see is mist, and everywhere else you look, is a blanket of white snow. <br> The ledge curves round the mountain to the northeast and to the northwest.
northeast snowyledge
northwest snowledge
prop display Misty Mountain Peak

rule
at misty
!eq misty.visited 1
say
say <i><b>With a grinding of gears, the ski-lift gondola starts it's descent, leaving you cold and alone with no visible means of returning down the mountain.</i></b>
add misty.visited 1

room snowyledge You are on a narrow icy ledge somewhere amongst the Misty Mountain peaks. You daren't look down, but if you did, all you would see would be mist.
southwest misty
northwest hotelmisty
prop display Narrow Icy Ledge

room snowledge You are shuffling along a thin, and probably unstable, icy ledge at a high altitude somewhere amongst the Misty Mountains.
southeast misty
northeast hotelmisty
prop display Unstable Icy Ledge

room hotelmisty 
in hotel
southwest snowledge
southeast snowyledge
northeast mountainpath
prop desc <div class="hotelmisty"></div>You are outside "Hotel Misty" - a glorius, 5 star hotel - which is as yet still under construction and not open for tourists. The weather conditions at this time of year means construction has to be put on hold until Spring. A lonely snow-covered JCB digger outside the entrance gives the place a melancoly atmosphere.<br>A mountain path leads past the hotel towards the northeast.
prop display Hotel Misty

thing portaloo
loc hotelmisty
prop desc A portable chemical toilet, commonly referred to as a portaloo, is a self-contained, temporary sanitation unit typically found on construction sites and at outdoor events. Constructed from lightweight, durable polyethylene, the unit is designed for ease of transport and rapid deployment.</br></br>The interior typically includes a non-flushing toilet over a sealed waste tank containing chemical solutions to suppress odours and partially break down waste. Basic models may also include a urinal, a hand sanitizer dispenser, and a ventilation pipe to improve air circulation. Access is provided via a hinged door with an internal locking mechanism, and the floor is usually ribbed or textured to provide grip in adverse weather conditions.</br></br>Portaloos are serviced regularly by sanitation contractors, who remove waste and replenish chemicals and consumables. Their use is regulated by health and safety standards to ensure hygienic conditions for site workers and the public.
verbs enter

verb enter portaloo
!has portaloo blockedrock: The door is blocked! From inside, you can hear someone banging against the door trying to get out!
say The door is locked! From inside, you can hear someone whistling, and the rustle of a newspaper.

verb drop giant_rock
at hotelmisty
say <b>You drop the giant rock in front of the portaloo door, blocking the exit of whoever might be in there.</b>
tag portaloo blockedrock
untag portaloo enter
bring giant_rock

verb take giant_rock
at hotelmisty
has portaloo blockedrock
!has sack won
say You don't have the energy - it took all your strength just to bring it here!

verb take giant_rock
at hotelmisty
has portaloo blockedrock
has sack won
say You pick up the giant rock, unblocking the portaloo.
untag portaloo blockedrock
say
say Immediatly, the door to the portaloo opens and Randalf the wizard steps out, looking more thin than usual. His face is pale and gaunt and he doesn't look very happy. Oh well, at least he's alive and in one piece!
say
say <b>Randalf huffs and walks away towards the nearest bar.</b>
say
hide randalf
hide portaloo
add score 175

rule
at hotelmisty
has portaloo blockedrock
chance 1 4
say
say <b>From inside the portaloo, you can hear some increasingly desperate banging on the door.</b>

verb go southwest
has sack won
say You don't want to explore the mountains - you want to return to Hobbiton!
verb go southeast
has sack won
say You don't want to explore the mountains - you want to return to Hobbiton!
verb go northeast
has sack won
say You don't want to explore the mountains - you want to return to Hobbiton!

verb go in
at hotelmisty
!has sack won
say The hotel is all locked up for the winter.
verb go in
at hotelmisty
has sack won
continue

room mountainpath You are on a snow-covered mountain path leading who-knows-where.
prop desc You are on a snow-covered mountain path leading who-knows-where. The path strecthes on and on and on northwards. You try to remember why it is you are here, and what in God's name you are supposed to be doing, but you can't.
southwest hotelmisty
north rockfall
prop display Mountain Path

rule
at mountainpath
!has snow_covered_log sat
say
say <b> Your feet ache. You need to sit down a while! </b>

room rockfall Jagged peaks rise all around, their slopes cloaked in thick snow and silence. The wind howls between the rocks, carrying with it a biting chill. Ahead, the path is impassable—a recent rockfall has buried the narrow pass beneath a heap of shattered stone and ice.
south mountainpath
prop display Rockfall

thing giant_rock
tags portable
loc rockfall

thing snow_covered_log
loc mountainpath
verbs examine

verb examine snow_covered_log
say Looks comfortable enough to sit on.
tag snow_covered_log seen

setverb sit_down snow_covered_log
has snow_covered_log seen

verb sit_down snow_covered_log
say You decide to take the weight off for a while, and make yourself comfortable on the log.
say You rub the soles of your frozen feet. It would have been nice of Randalf to at least provide you with some footwear for this quest - but no.
say
say Nobody told you that heroic quests would involve this much walking!
untag snow_covered_log seen
tag snow_covered_log sat
hide snow_covered_log
bring something_half_buried

thing something_half_buried something half buried in the snow
tags portable
verb examine something_half_buried
swap something_half_buried paperback
say It's a floppy-eared, snow-covered novel called <b>"The Marvellous Adventures of Flashrat"</b>. It's by someone called JD BARDI. It looks like it could be a really interesting read, and the sort of book one might find on amazon for a bargain price.

thing paperback
tags portable
verbs read
prop desc It's a floppy-eared, snow-covered novel called "The Marvellous Adventures of Flashrat". It's by someone called JD BARDI. It looks like it could be a really interesting read, and the sort of book one might find on Amazon for a bargain price.

verb read paperback
at mountainpath: You have no time to read books - you are on a quest! (Not even really funny books like Flashrat - Google it!)
say You decide to give it a read and open the cover.
say
say Suddenly, without warning, a gang of Goblins appear from out of the mist!
say They look a particular vicious and nasty bunch, each one carrying a dangerous weapon. One goblin even has a sockfull of billiard balls, and is twirling it about in an aggressive manner.
say
say "You're coming with us, hobbit!" A pitchhfork-carrying goblin sneers, prodding you in the chest with the strongs.
say
say "Can you give me a few minutes to get my breath back?" You ask, optimistically.
say
say "No!" One of the goblins sneers, hitting you over the head with a tyre-iron.
say
close mountainpath north
close mountainpath southwest
write mountainpath.desc You don't know where you are. You are out cold.
tag snow_covered_log goblin
add score 45
run dropall
goto outcold

verb wait
at mountainpath
has snow_covered_log sat
say You rest up a while.
say
say <b>Suddenly, without warning, a gang of Goblins appear from out of the mist!</b>
say
say They look a particular vicious and nasty bunch, each one carrying a dangerous weapon. One goblin even has a sockfull of billiard balls, and is twirling it about in an aggressive manner.
say
say "You're coming with us, hobbit!" A pitchhfork-carrying goblin sneers, prodding you in the chest with the strongs.
say
say "Can you give me a few minutes to get my breath back?" You ask, optimistically.
say
say "No!" One of the goblins sneers, hitting you over the head with a tyre-iron.
say
close mountainpath north
close mountainpath southwest
write mountainpath.desc You don't know where you are. You are out cold.
tag snow_covered_log goblin
add score 25
run dropall
goto outcold

room outcold You don't know where you are. You are out cold.
prop display Somewhere...

verb wait
at outcold
has snow_covered_log goblin
add snow_covered_log.outcold 1
eq snow_covered_log.outcold 5
say You eventually regain your senses...
say
goto goblin_dungeon

room goblin_dungeon <div class="goblindungeon"></div>You are in a dark, smelly, damp cell inside a goblin dungeon. A barred iron door leads north. A chink of light comes from a tiny barred window high up beyond your reach. Straw is scattered on the floor. An elf skeleton is manacled to the wall.
	prop display Goblin Dungeon
	north bottom_of_stairs

thing straw_pile
	loc goblin_dungeon
	tags portable
	desc A pile of filthy straw. Might be useful?

thing tiny_window
	loc goblin_dungeon
	desc A tiny, barred window high up in the wall.

setverb shout tiny_window
!has tiny_window goblin
!has tiny_window helping
!has tiny_window gone

verb shout tiny_window
	add tiny_window.shout 1
	!eq tiny_window.shout 1: say "Hello! Anyone out there?"
	!eq tiny_window.shout 2: say "Please! I'm trapped! I need help!"
	!eq tiny_window.shout 3: say "Somebody get me out of here!"
	say
say "Anybody?? HELP!"
say
	say A voice wafts in through the window in reply, snooty and nasal. "Good eeeevening!" it chirps.
	tag tiny_window goblin

setverb  plead_for_help tiny_window
	has tiny_window goblin
!has tiny_window gone
!has tiny_window helping

verb  plead_for_help tiny_window
	say "Can you help me escape?" you ask.
	say
	say "Well," says the voice, "That depends, don't it. what's in it for me?"

setverb throw_out gold_tooth
	carried gold_tooth
	has tiny_window goblin

setverb throw_out elf_bone
	carried elf_bone
	has tiny_window goblin

verb throw_out elf_bone
	hide elf_bone
	say You hurl the bone through the bars. There’s a yelp, a thud, and silence.
	tag tiny_window gone
untag tiny_window goblin
run visitors
add score 25

proc visitors
bring wife
untag brainfiddle conversation
	bring brainfiddle
	tag barred_door unlocked
untag barred_door locked
say
say Suddenly, a Goblin guard comes and unlocks the door.
say
say "Visitors." He sneers. 
say
say Standing behind him are Doctor Brainfiddle and - your wife, Mavis!!
say
say "Hello, dear." She says.
say
say The guard hands the cell keys to Doctor Brainfiddle. "Lock up after you." He says, before making his exit.
tag brainfiddle cellkeys
add score 25

verb throw_out gold_tooth
	hide gold_tooth
	say You toss the gold tooth through the window.
	say "Ooooh, shiny!" the goblin trills. "Alrighty, I'll help. Back in a mo!"
	bring wife
	bring brainfiddle
	tag barred_door unlocked
	bring barred_door
	tag tiny_window helping
untag tiny_window goblin
run visitors
add score 25

thing dead_elf a goblin skeleton
	loc goblin_dungeon
	desc A manacled elf skeleton.

verb examine dead_elf
	!has dead_elf searched
	say Looking closely, you spot a gold tooth glinting in the skull. A rib bone also falls loose.
	bring gold_tooth
	bring elf_bone
	tag dead_elf searched

thing gold_tooth
	tags portable
	desc A shiny gold tooth. Probably worth a bit.

thing elf_bone
	tags portable
	desc A sharp, broken rib bone.

verb talk wife
at goblin_dungeon 
!has brainfiddle unconscious: "Have you - have you killed Doctor Brainfiddle? You don't understand what you've done! You were always a lousy husband - you're going to get what you deserve!"
!here goblin_lawyer: Mavis is too busy arguing with the lawyer. Nobody is paying any attention to you.
!here kenneth: Mavis is too busy arguing with Kenneth. Nobody is paying any attention to you.
	say "Dave," Mavis says. "This world isn't real. You’re still in ReKall! You had an episode after Doctor Brainfiddle gave you the serum...He’ll explain everything..."

verb talk brainfiddle
at goblin_dungeon 
!has brainfiddle unconscious: Doctor Brainfiddle is not responding.
!here goblin_lawyer: The doctor is busy arguing with the lawyer. You can't get a word in edgeways.
!here kenneth: The doctor is busy arguing with Kenneth. You can't get a word in edgeways.
	say Brainfiddle smiles nervously. "Yes, yes. You’re still asleep at ReKall. This is all dream. Remember - you wanted us to send you to Hobbiton? Here. Take this..."
say
say <b>He hands you a small red pill.</b>
say
	say "Here. Take this. The red pill represents your desire to return to reality. You just need to take it and you'll wake up back on Earth and this nightmare will be over."
	give red_pill

rule 
at goblin_dungeon
here goblin_lawyer
has brainfiddle unconscious
say
say The Goblin lawyer is trying to revive Doctor Brainfiddle.
say He is asking if he has representation.

thing red_pill
	tags portable
	cverbs eat
	desc A glossy red capsule.

verb eat red_pill
	here brainfiddle
	!has brainfiddle unconscious
	say You swallow the pill.
	say
	say "Excellent!" Mavis exclaims. "It’ll blow your mind. Literally."
	say
	say "All hail Tom Fallows and his toothpaste empire!" Brainfiddle shouts.
	die You are dead. GAME OVER

verb eat red_pill
	say "I'm starving," you mutter, swallowing the pill.
	say <b>"All hail Tom Fallows!"</b> a voice booms. Your brain explodes.
	die You are dead. GAME OVER

rule
has tiny_window gone
!here goblin_lawyer
add num 1
eq $num 10
carried red_pill
run lawyer

rule
has tiny_window helping
add num 1
eq $num 10
run kenneth

proc kenneth
say
say <b>A new figure appears in the cell.</b>
	say
say "Good eeeevening! My name's Kenneth. Does somebody here need to be rescued?"
say
say "Excuse me - we were in the middle of a conversation. Do you mind leaving?"
say
say "Don't be like that! I'm 'ere to help! What we talkin' 'bout then. Anything good? Isn't this exciting, eh?"
say
say "Look - this really is none of your business. Do you mind..."
say
say Mavis, Doctor Brainfiddle and Kenneth the Goblin begin to argue.
bring kenneth

thing kenneth Kenneth
tags male
prop desc A peculiar goblin with an exaggerated posture and a mischievous grin. He has slicked-back hair, pointy ears, and wears a tattered waistcoat over a bare green chest. His voice is shrill and dramatic, and his every movement suggests he's performing for an audience. You suspect he might be the only goblin in the dungeon who moisturises.

proc lawyer
say
	say A new figure appears in the cell.
	say
	say "I’m the solicitor representing Kenneth the Goblin." he announces in a dull voice. "We are pursuing compensation for a cranial injury due to having a bone lobbed at his head."
say
say "Excuse me - we happened to be having a conversation!" Doctor Brainfiddle says.
say
say "That will have to wait - I'm here on legal business."
say
say Mavis, Doctor Brainfiddle and the Goblin lawyer begin to argue. The lawyer places his briefcase on the floor of the cell.
	bring goblin_lawyer
	bring briefcase
tag goblin_dungeon argue
add score 25

rule
at goblin_dungeon
has goblin_dungeon argue
say
say Everybody is arguing amongst themselves. The atomsphere is chaotic.

thing goblin_lawyer
	name Goblin Lawyer
	tags alive male
	desc A goblin in a smart suit (from M&S) and a smug attitude.

thing briefcase
	tags portable
	desc A sturdy legal briefcase.
cverbs use

verb use briefcase
	carried briefcase
	here brainfiddle
	!has brainfiddle unconscious
	say While they argue, you swing the briefcase into Brainfiddle’s skull.
	say He slumps, unconscious, dropping the cell key.
	bring cell_key
	tag brainfiddle unconscious
untag brainfiddle talk
untag brainfiddle cellkeys
untag goblin_dungeon argue

setverb hit_on_the_head brainfiddle
held elf_bone
here kenneth
!has brainfiddle unconscious

verb hit_on_the_head brainfiddle
	held elf_bone
	here brainfiddle
here kenneth
	!has brainfiddle unconscious
	say Whilst Brainfiddle is occupied arguing with Kenneth, you raise the elf bone above your head and bring it down with a wallop on his skull. He goes down like a sack of potatoes. As he falls, he drops the key to the cell door.
	say
	say "oo-eh, I say!" Kenneth mutters.
	bring cell_key
	tag brainfiddle unconscious
untag brainfiddle talk
untag brainfiddle cellkeys
untag goblin_dungeon argue
add score 55

rule
at goblin_dungeon
here wife
here brainfiddle
here kenneth
!has brainfiddle unconscious
tag goblin_dungeon argue

thing barred_door
	name barred iron door
	loc goblin_dungeon
	tags lockable locked
	prop locktype cell_key
	desc A heavy door barring the way north.

setverb unlock barred_door
	carried cell_key
has barred_door locked

verb unlock barred_door
	carried cell_key
	say You unlock the barred door and push it open.
tag barred_door unlocked
untag barred_door locked

verb lock barred_door
	carried cell_key
	here wife
	say You lock the barred door.
tag barred_door locked
untag barred_door unlocked

verb go north
	at goblin_dungeon
	has barred_door locked 
	say The door is locked.

verb go north
	at goblin_dungeon
	here brainfiddle
	!has brainfiddle unconscious
	say Doctor Brainfiddle bars your way.
say
say "Ah, ah - not before you swallow the red pill!

verb drop red_pill
here brainfiddle
!has brainfiddle unconcious
say You throw the pill on the floor in defiance.
say
say Doctor Brainfiddle picks it up again and gives it back to you.
say
say "Don't be such a baby!" He admonishes.

room bottom_of_stairs You are in the goblin dungeons at the bottom of some worn stone steps leading upward. A cell lies to the south.
	prop display Dungeon Stairfoot
	south goblin_dungeon
	up noise

rule
at bottom_of_stairs
has cell_door locked
!has wife gone
say
say <b>Mavis is screaming for help!</b> She is creating quite a din - you hope the guards don't hear her.

rule
at bottom_of_stairs
!has cell_door locked
!has wife gone
add wifeescape 1
eq $wifeescape 4
say
say Mavis runs out of the cell and up the stone steps! She has gone for help - you must get out of here -and quick!
hide wife
tag wife gone

rule
at bottom_of_stairs
has wife gone
add wifeescape 1
gt $wifeescape 8
say Mavis reappears with 4 goblin guards! One of them has a club which he takes great pleasure in swinging repeatedly at your head.
say
say "Hit him some more!" Your loving wife says.
say
say Your quest is at an end.
die You didn't do a very good job, did you?

rule
at goblin_dungeon
has wife gone
gt $wifeescape 2
say Mavis reappears with 4 goblin guards! One of them has a club which he takes great pleasure in swinging repeatedly at your head.
say
say "Hit him some more!" Your loving wife says.
say
say Your quest is at an end.
die You didn't do a very good job, did you?

verb go up
	at bottom_of_stairs
	say You hear goblin voices echoing from above. Best not head upstairs just yet!

thing crates
	loc bottom_of_stairs
	tags plural
	verbs examine move
	desc Heavy wooden crates, stacked high and marked with strange goblin runes.

verb examine crates
	say The crates are full of old, rusted manacles. They’re stacked against the far brick wall, dusty and unused.

verb move crates
	say You push some crates aside with effort, revealing a small hole in the brickwork—just big enough to squeeze through!
	hide crates
	bring small_hole
add score 25

thing small_hole
	verbs enter
	desc A tight, shadowy hole in the wall, just large enough to crawl through.

verb enter small_hole
!carried briefcase: The briefcase is too bulky for the small hole!
	goto goblin_passage

verb go south
	at bottom_of_stairs
	has cell_door locked
	say You try the door, but it won’t budge!

thing cell_door iron cell door (to south)
	loc bottom_of_stairs
	tags lockable unlocked
	prop locktype cell_key
	desc A solid iron door with a barred window and a heavy lock mechanism.

thing cell_key
	tags portable key
	prop locktype cell_key
	desc A small iron key with a strange goblin rune etched into its head.

room goblin_passage <div class="passage"></div>You are in a narrow, dark passage. A sliver of light shines from the east, and the tunnel curves away to the northeast.
	prop display Goblin Passage
	east bottom_of_stairs
	northeast more_goblin_passage

room more_goblin_passage You are in a cramped, damp corridor, crawling on your hands and knees. Something furry skitters across your hand in the dark.
	prop display Cramped Goblin Passage
	southwest goblin_passage
	north even_more_goblin_passage

room even_more_goblin_passage It is darker, damper, and more claustrophobic here. The walls close in tightly—you doubt you’ll fit much further. The passage curves west.
	prop display Tight Goblin Passage
	south more_goblin_passage
	west not_more_goblin_passage

room not_more_goblin_passage The passage forks here. Water drips faintly nearby. You miss home... and old repeats of *Blankety Blank*.
	prop display Forked Passage
	east even_more_goblin_passage
	north goblin_passage_opening
	west end_goblin_passage

room end_goblin_passage This dead-end alcove is slightly less cramped than the rest of the tunnel. It's pitch black and unpleasantly humid.
	prop display Passage Dead End
	east not_more_goblin_passage

thing something_glinting
	loc end_goblin_passage
	verbs examine
	desc A faint glint in the dark catches your eye—something shiny.

thing machine_gun
	tags portable
	desc A goblin-sized machine gun. Ridiculous, but undeniably cool.

verb examine something_glinting
	say You squint into the shadows. “Ahhh…” you whisper. It’s a machine gun, gleaming faintly in the gloom!
	hide something_glinting
	bring machine_gun

room goblin_passage_opening You are in a slightly wider stretch of tunnel, narrowing again to the south. A rush of fresh air hits your face, and you sense a vast, open space somewhere to the north.
	prop display Tunnel Opening
	north edge_of_dark_lake
	south not_more_goblin_passage

room edge_of_dark_lake <div class="cavernlake"></div>You emerge into an immense cavern—this space could swallow a kingdom. A huge, black lake stretches to the horizon, cloaked in swirling mist like steam over a cup-a-soup. A towering rockface rises impossibly high.
	prop display Edge of the Dark Lake

thing crack a crack in the rockface
	loc edge_of_dark_lake
	verbs enter
	prop desc A narrow crack in the rockface—just big enough to squeeze into!

verb enter crack
	goto goblin_passage_opening

thing gobbo Gobbo
	loc edge_of_dark_lake
	tags alive male conversation
	prop desc A dark grey, bony, cross-eyed creature about two feet tall. He hops erratically, reeking of fish and madness.
	prop start_conversation Gobbo stops hopping and glares at you with his beady eyes. "What does hobbit wantsss?" he hisses.
	prop end_conversation Gobbo resumes hopping in small circles, muttering something about fish.

rule 
has gobbo back
untag gobbo conversation

rule
!has gobbo back
tag gobbo conversation

setverb ask_gobbo rowboat
verb ask_gobbo rowboat
say "The boat is mine... but you are a sexy hobbit. Hobbit play a game with Gobbo?? Maybe Gobbo let hobbit rent boat."
tag gobbo game

setverb ask_gobbo game
has gobbo game

verb ask_gobbo game
say "Hobbit likes riddles? Gobbo has good riddle for hobbit...
say
say ...is hobbit ready??
say
say <i><b>What drips in daylight, hides in jam, sings when you sit, but never says 'ma’am'?</i></b>
say <i><b>It once wore a hat made of clocks,</i></b>
say <i><b>married a spoon, and divorced a fox.</i></b>
say
say Tell Gobbo, tell us—what is it, preciousss?!"
tag gobbo riddle

setverb say_gobbo a_soggy_saxophone
has gobbo riddle
setverb say_gobbo three_badgers_in_a_trenchcoat
has gobbo riddle
setverb say_gobbo tuesday
has gobbo riddle

verb say_gobbo a_soggy_saxophone
say "No, hobbit issss wrong! Hee hee! You must stay forever here with Gobbo and play with me. Gobbo not only play riddles, Gobbo likes to play sexy dress-up cosplay games, too!"
verb say_gobbo three_badgers_in_a_trenchcoat
say "No, hobbit issss wrong! Hee hee! You must stay forever here with Gobbo and play with me. Gobbo not only play riddles, Gobbo likes to play sexy dress-up cosplay games, too!"
verb say_gobbo tuesday
say "No, hobbit issss wrong! Hee hee! You must stay forever here with Gobbo and play with me. Gobbo not only play riddles, Gobbo likes to play sexy dress-up cosplay games, too!"

verb examine gobbo
	say It’s hard to say what Gobbo *is*. A dark, shriveled thing with a funny face, crooked limbs, and the kind of breath that suggests a diet of raw sewage. He hops around like a 5 year old who's eaten too many smarties.

thing boat rowboat
	loc edge_of_dark_lake
	verbs enter
	desc A damp little rowboat, bobbing quietly at the lake’s edge. It has oars. That’s nice.

verb enter boat
has gobbo back
say You can't see the boat, Gobbo's hands are covering your eyes!

verb enter boat
	!here gobbo: Gobbo leaps in front of you! "Hsss… is Gobbo’s boat… not for hobbitsss…"
	goto in_boat

#verb talk gobbo
#	carried machine_gun: "You are a sexy hobbit! Hobbit play a game with Gobbo?"
#	say Gobbo’s eyes bulge when he sees the machine gun in your hands.
#	say "My precioussss…!" he hisses, lunging toward you in a frenzy!
#	tag gobbo angry

rule
here gobbo
carried machine_gun
!has gobbo back
say
say "My...My precioussss…!" Gobbo hisses, lunging toward you in a frenzy! He jumps on your back, clinging to you and clawing at the back of your head! He won't let go!
say
run gobboback
tag gobbo back

proc gobboback
!has gobbo thrown
tag gobbo back
say <b>Gobbo is clinging to your back, clawing at your scalp and pulling on your ears and beard. "MY PRECIOUS!" It screams. "GIVE GOBBO BACK HIS PRECIOUS... NASTY, THIEVING HOBBIT!"</b>

rule
has gobbo back
untag gobbo conversation
bring gobbo
random x 3
!eq $x 1: Gobbo yanks at your beard.
	!eq $x 2: Gobbo pulls on your ears.
	!eq $x 3: Gobbo's fingers find their way up your nostrils.

setverb throw gobbo
has gobbo back

verb throw gobbo
say You grab Gobbo by the head, twirl him around a bit and launch him into the distance like a shotput.
untag gobbo back
tag gobbo thrown
hide gobbo

rule
has gobbo thrown
add gobbo.thrown 1
eq gobbo.thrown 2
bring gobbo
say From the darkness Gobbo returns, hopping left and right, forwards and backwards towards you. What an odd little thing.
untag gobbo thrown
assign gobbo.thrown 0

setverb shoot gobbo
	held machine_gun
	!has gobbo back

verb shoot gobbo
	say Without hesitation, you squeeze the trigger. <b>Gobbo’s tiny body is ripped apart by a hail of bullets.</b>
	say He slams into the rockface with a sickening *splut*, then slowly slides down, leaving a long, wet, red smear.
	swap gobbo dead_gobbo
add score 225

thing dead_gobbo
	prop desc A shriveled, eviscerated corpse. Whatever it was, it’s definitely not a problem anymore.

room in_boat You are seated in a small, creaky rowboat drifting on the dark waters. Conveniently, the oars are already in place—no need to worry about that.
	prop display In the Boat
	verbs row

verb row
	!has boat ashore: You don't want to go back towards the goblins! Besides, you've had quite enough of rowing for one day.
	add in_boat.boat 1
	!eq in_boat.boat 1: You row into the mist, visibility close to zero. With no real clue about navigation and only a vague idea of north, you row hopefully into the void.
	!eq in_boat.boat 2: Your arms start to ache. You’re sweating, thirsty, and delirious. You begin to fantasise about a cold can of Tango.
	say After more rowing, the boat thuds gently into a sandy shore. Land—at last!
	open in_boat leave_boat sandy_bay
	tag boat ashore
	put boat sandy_bay

rule 
has $room rain
has cottage_garden rain
chance 1 5
add raining 1
run storm

proc storm
lt $raining 5
say It's raining...
proc storm
lt $raining 10
say The rain lashes down. You are getting soaked to the skin.
proc storm
lt $raining 150
say The rain has now turned into a full storm. Lightning fills the sky. In the distance, thunder cracks.

room sandy_bay You stand on a lonely stretch of sand at the lake’s northern edge. The thick mist lingers on the water like steam on hot chocolate, or Horlicks, or any other hot nightime beverage. Dense woods encircle the area on all other sides.
	prop display Sandy Bay
	west woods
	east woods
	north woods
tags rain

room woods You are in a dark, mysterious wood. It’s dark because there’s little light. It’s mysterious because you can’t see anything apart from endless trees. And it’s woods because… well, there are trees. Lots of them.
	prop display The Woods
	west norbits_house
	northeast orrible_woods
tags rain

thing mud handful of mud
tags portable
prop desc A wet, squelchy clump of dark brown mud. It oozes between your fingers and smells faintly of something you wouldn't like to guess at.

room norbits_house <div class="norbitcottage"></div>You stand outside a picturesque 16th-century English cottage. A neat picket fence borders a manicured hedgerow. The thatched roof looks straight out of a biscuit tin illustration.
	prop display Outside Norbit’s Cottage
	east woods
tags rain

thing turnip
	tags portable
	prop desc A big, dusty turnip. (Brassica rapa, variety rapa). A hardy biennial, ideal for soups, stews, and hurling at enemies.
thing turnip2 turnip
	prop desc A big, dusty turnip. (Brassica rapa, variety rapa). A hardy biennial, ideal for soups, stews, and hurling at enemies.

verb take turnip2
say No, leave it where it is!

verb drop turnip
at norbits_house
!here turnip2
put turnip norbits_house
say You put the turnip next to the wall of the cottage.
bring turnip2
hide turnip

verb drop turnip
at norbits_house
has turnip2 stood
say You put the second, smaller turnip on top of the first, creating a stairway effect.
tag turnip2 stairs
hide turnip

rule
at norbits_house
has turnip2 stood
has turnip2 stairs
open norbits_house up cottage_roof

room cottage_roof You’re perched precariously on the uneven thatched roof of Norbit’s cottage. The warm scent of sun-dried straw fills the air, mingling with the distant smell of chimney smoke. From up here, you can see the dark, foreboding woods stretching as far as the eye can see. A few loose stalks bristle beneath your feet, and the occasional caw of a curious crow reminds you just how high you are.
down norbits_house
prop display Thatched Cottage Roof
tags rain

thing hole_in_roof
loc cottage_roof
verbs mend
prop desc A small hole in the thatched roof, just large enough to let the rain in.

verb mend hole_in_roof
held muddy_straw: Mend it with what?
say You rub the muddy straw over the hole and it seals it perfectly. Jobs a good-un.
tag cottage_roof mended
hide muddy_straw
hide hole_in_roof
add score 40

setverb mix_with_mud straw_pile
held straw_pile
carried mud

verb mix_with_mud straw_pile
say You mix the mud with the straw.
hide mud
hide straw_pile
carry muddy_straw
add score 25

thing muddy_straw
tags portable
desc A pile of wet mud mixed with straw.

setverb stand_on turnip2
thingat turnip2 norbits_house
!carried turnip2
!has turnip2 stood

setverb get_down turnip2
has turnip2 stood
verb get_down turnip2
say You climb down from the turnip.
untag turnip2 stood

verb go east
at norbits_house
has turnip2 stood
say Get down from the turnip first!
verb enter cottage_door
at norbits_house
has turnip2 stood
say Get down from the turnip first!
verb open postbox
has turnip2 stood
say Get down from the turnip first!

verb go up
at norbits_house
!has turnip2 stood
say You can't reach the roof from here.

verb stand_on turnip2
say You stand on the turnip. Your chin reaches the roof of the cottage - but you're not quite high enough to climb up!
tag turnip2 stood

verb drop turnip
at norbit_cellar
hide turnip
	add turnip.picked 1
gt turnip.picked 1: You place the turnip down in the corner.
say You place the turnip in the corner with the others.
gt turnip.picked 3
!has Norbit dead
run mendroof

rule
at norbits_house
eq turnip.roof 1
say There is a turnip stacked by the wall of the cottage.

thing turnip_stack
prop desc There are some turnips stacked by the wall of the cottage.

thing postbox letterbox
	loc norbits_house
	tags container closed
	prop desc A red postbox with ornate lettering. A name is painted in shaky gold letters: <b>"NORBIT TALLYWACKER"</b>
	prop contents magazine

thing magazine
	tags portable
	prop contained_in postbox
	prop desc The cover features a grotesquely hairy bear-woman in a lurid pose. Flipping through the pages fills you with a disturbing mix of nausea and shame. This is filth. How did it even get printed? You decide to keep it.

thing cottage_door
	loc norbits_house
	prop desc A charming little door, old-fashioned and painted a gentle blue. It simply oozes rural delight.

thing password piece of small card
	loc woods
	tags portable
	prop desc A tiny piece of card. On one side, handwritten in black ink: <b>"PASSWORD."</b>

setverb enter cottage_door
	has cottage_door open

setverb knock cottage_door
	!has cottage_door open

verb enter cottage_door
	has cottage_door open: It’s locked. You’ll need to knock or find another way in.
	goto inside_cottage

verb knock cottage_door
	!eq password.contained_in postbox
!has Norbit dead: You knock on the door but there is no reply.
	say Rat-a-tat-tat!
	say You knock lightly on the door. A small slot opens, revealing three suspicious green eyes.
	say "What’s the password?" booms a deep, James-Earl-Jones-esque voice.
	say "I..." 
	say But before you can finish, the slot slams shut.

verb knock cottage_door
	eq password.contained_in postbox
	say Rat-a-tat-tat!
	say You knock again. The same eyes peer out.
	say "What’s the password?"
	say "I’ve just posted it in your letterbox!"
	say "...Oh yes, here it is! Just a moment... yes, that’s correct. Please, come in!"
	tag cottage_door open
add score 25

setverb post password
	at norbits_house
	carried password

setverb post magazine
	at norbits_house
	carried magazine

verb post password
	say You slip the password card into the postbox.
	hide password
	assign password.contained_in postbox
	assign postbox.contents multiple

verb post magazine
	say You reluctantly insert the filthy magazine into the postbox.
	hide magazine
	assign magazine.contained_in postbox
	assign postbox.contents multiple

room inside_cottage You are inside the cosy thatched cottage. A warm fire crackles beneath a mantel crowded with mismatched teapots. A tartan rug stretches across the wooden floor. Two armchairs face the fire, inviting you to sit and forget your problems. A sign on the wall reads: <b>"Home Sweet Home."</b> The front door leads east; another door leads west. Some wooden steps lead down into a cellar.
	prop display Norbit’s Cottage Interior
	west cottage_garden
down norbit_cellar
	verbs exit_cottage

setverb shoot Norbit
here Norbit
held machine_gun
verb shoot Norbit
say You raise the machine gun and unleash a burst into Norbit’s hairy bulk. The force lifts him off his feet—ten feet through the air—before he crashes to the ground in a twisted, blood-soaked heap. You squeeze the trigger again to make sure… but the weapon just clicks. You just hope you haven't just wasted the last of your bullets.
swap Norbit dead_norbit
tag Norbit dead
tag machine_gun empty

thing dead_norbit dead Norbit
prop desc A dead and bloody 8-foot bear-man with three eyes.  He reminds you of Bungle from *Rainbow* — if Bungle had a third eye and was dead.

rule
at inside_cottage
!has cottage_roof mended
has cottage_garden rain
chance 1 3
say
say Rain is leaking through a hole in the roof, making a small puddle on the floor.

room norbit_cellar 
up inside_cottage
prop display A Cold, Draughty Cellar
prop desc The cellar is damp and shadowy, with a low ceiling and walls slick with moss. The scent of mildew hangs in the air, and a constant draught whispers through unseen cracks. Old shelves sag beneath the weight of forgotten jars, and the floor creaks beneath your feet.

verb exit_cottage
	goto norbits_house

thing Norbit
	name Norbit Tallywacker
	tags alive male conversation
	loc inside_cottage
	prop desc An 8-foot bear-man with three eyes. He towers above you, but his expression is kind. He reminds you of Bungle from *Rainbow* — if Bungle had a third eye and a Yorkshire accent.
	prop start_conversation Norbit straightens up from the fireplace and gives you a polite nod. "Well now, what's on your mind, our kid?"
	prop end_conversation Norbit gives a slow wave and returns to giving himself a good scratch.

thing cottage_table
	loc inside_cottage

verb examine cottage_table
	say A rustic wooden table sits proudly by the hearth. There’s a steaming plate of sausages on it.
	bring sausages

thing sausages plate of sausages
	tags portable
	prop desc A steaming plate of succulent sausages. The smell is heavenly — peppery, meaty, and comforting.
	cverbs eat

verb eat sausages
	say You treat yourself to a hearty nibble, and before long, the entire plate is polished off. You lean back, belly full and satisfied.
	hide sausages
	tag sausages ate

verb take sausages
	lt turnip.picked 5: "Take them as a thank you for all your hard work!" Norbit says. So you do.
	here Norbit
	say "Oi! Leave my sausages alone!" Norbit growls. "That's my lunch, that is!"

thing teapots
	loc inside_cottage
	prop desc A delightful collection of bone china teapots sits on the mantelpiece. Each one has a floral pattern and a story you’ll probably never hear.

rule
	here Norbit
	random x 6
	!eq $x 1: <br>"Ooooh, me back don’t half ache..." Norbit mutters, rubbing his spine.
	!eq $x 2: <br>"Eeeeh, me back’s givin’ me jip today..." he grumbles, adjusting his stance.
	!eq $x 3: <br>"By gum... did I mention I’ve got a bad back?" Norbit says, reaching for a chair.

room cottage_garden You are outside, standing in the middle of a turnip patch. The soil is rich, the air fresh, and the turnips… glorious. 
	prop display Cottage Garden
	east inside_cottage
	verbs pick_turnip
tags rain

verb pick_turnip
	!visible turnip: You can only deal with one turnip at a time.
	say You bend down, grip a leafy stalk, and with a mighty yank, unearth a massive turnip.
	bring turnip

setverb hand_over_to_Norbit turnip
	carried turnip
	here Norbit

verb hand_over_to_Norbit turnip
	say "Be a good lad and put it in my cellar, would you?"

rule
at norbit_cellar
gt turnip.picked 1
say
write norbit_cellar.desc The cellar is damp and shadowy, with a low ceiling and walls slick with moss. The scent of mildew hangs in the air, and a constant draught whispers through unseen cracks. Old shelves sag beneath the weight of forgotten jars, and the floor creaks beneath your feet as though something beneath it stirs. There are some turnips here.

verb take turnip
at norbit_cellar
say It's best left where it is.

proc mendroof
bring Norbit
say <b>Norbit admires your work. He seems satisfied enough.</b>
say
say "That's grand, cheers - that should be enough for now! Whilst your 'ere I've got another favor to ask - do you mind helping me with me roof? There's an 'ole in it."
tag Norbit roof
tag cottage_garden rain
put mud woods
add score 50

setverb ask_Norbit roof
has Norbit roof

verb ask_Norbit roof
say "You can reach the roof by the front of the house, like. Find something to stand on and pull yourself up, like."

thing turnip_patch
	loc cottage_garden
	prop desc A lush patch of soil full of thriving turnip plants. There must be nine of them, maybe more.

rule 
	chance 1 5
	thingat Norbit inside_cottage
	at cottage_garden
	say <br>Norbit walks out from the cottage, stretching his back.
	bring Norbit

rule
	chance 1 5
	thingat Norbit cottage_garden
	at inside_cottage
	say <br>Norbit ambles back toward the cottage, muttering about the cold.
	bring Norbit

rule 
	chance 1 5
	thingat Norbit inside_cottage
	at inside_cottage
	say <br>Norbit heads out west, mumbling something about his back again.
	put Norbit cottage_garden

rule 
	chance 1 5
	thingat Norbit cottage_garden
	at cottage_garden
	say <br>Norbit opens the cottage door and steps inside.
	put Norbit inside_cottage

rule 
chance 1 3
thingat Norbit norbit_cellar
sayat norbit_cellar Norbit walks upstairs.
sayat inside_cottage Norbit walks in from downstairs.
put Norbit inside_cottage

setverb ask_Norbit Randalf

setverb ask_Norbit Turnips
has Norbit met
!has Norbit roof

verb ask_Norbit Randalf
say "Randalf sent you, did he? Well, I’ve got something that might help with your quest. But first — could you lend a paw with the turnips? My back isn’t what it used to be. Flamin’ agony, it is!"
tag Norbit met

verb ask_Norbit Turnips
say "Could you help me pick some Turnips? Then store them in my cellar? Help me with that, then I'll help you with your quest!"

verb talk Norbit
	has cottage_roof mended
!has mysterious_box given: Ey-up, our kid! Have you come back to 'elp paint t'house?
	say "My old man had back problems, and his old man too. Must be a family curse. Getting in and out the bath’s a nightmare! You've done a fine job with me turnips and mendin' my roof, like - I'm grateful. Come to think of it, this place could do with a lick of paint. How are you with a brush?"
say
say <b>He sees the look on your face.</b>
say
	say "Maybe another time, eh? Thank you for all your help, young hobbit. Randalf asked me to give you this — said it might help with your quest."
	say
	say Norbit reaches into his dense fur and produces a small black box. You take it, curious.
	say
	say "Now then... where was I? Oh aye — my back!"
	say
	say "I should probably get on with my quest now!" you quickly interject.
	carry mysterious_box
	tag mysterious_box given
put boss great_hall

thing mysterious_box
	tags portable
	prop desc A sleek black cube with a button on the side. Stamped in silver letters: "Hologram Projector". Intriguing!
cverbs use

room orrible_woods You are in a particularly dark and forbidding part of the woods. Huge spider webs dangle from the trees like lace embroidery. Millions of eyes watch you from the shadows.
	prop display 'Orrible Woods
	southwest woods
	east spiderweb
	south sandy_bay
tags rain

verb go east
	at orrible_woods
	!has sausages ate
	say You don’t feel ready to venture further into these ‘orrible woods. Not on an empty stomach!

room spiderweb You are in a small clearing in the woods. It's no less dark or spooky, and a billion invisible eyes seem to track your every move.
	prop display Spiderweb Clearing
	west orrible_woods
	east more_woods
tags rain

thing web great big spider web
	loc spiderweb
	prop desc A massive tangle of silk strung across six trees like some grotesque net. You wouldn't want to get caught in that, not for all the mushrooms in the Shire.

verb go east
at spiderweb
here web
say <b>Oh cripes! You've only gone and got entangled in the web!</b>
goto entangled

verb go west
at spiderweb
here web
say Oh cripes! You've only gone and got entangled in the web!
assign entangled.trapped 1
goto entangled

rule
at entangled
add entangled.trapped 1
gt entangled.trapped 4
run spiderattack

proc spiderattack
say
say Just when you think things are never going to get any better... they suddenly get worse!
say
say Two giant spiders crawl towards you from out of the woods. Their fangs glisten in the moonlight. They look very pleased to see you.
say
say "Please don't eat me!" You gasp, horrified.
say
say One of the spiders scuttles forward and wraps you in thick, sticky webbing—tight as a drum, until you're nothing more than a helpless cocoon.
say
say Then it eats you.
die Game over.

room entangled <div class="web"></div>You are entangled in a giant sticky spider's web. There seems to be no way out!
prop display Stuck in a Web

setverb shoot_web machine_gun
at entangled 
held machine_gun

verb shoot_web machine_gun
!has machine_gun empty: You try and shoot the web - but the machine gun is out of bullets.
say You fire blindly all around you. In a puff of smoke, the web disintergrates.
goto spiderweb
hide web
tag machine_gun empty

room more_woods You are still surrounded by dark woods. To the east, there are more woods. To the west — yep, more woods. You can just make out tree-shapes to the north and south too.
	prop display More Dark Woods
	west spiderweb
	east woody_woods
tags rain

room woody_woods You are unsurprised to find yourself in yet more woods. This patch, however, is unique — there’s a curious tree stump here.
	prop display Some Woody Woods
	west more_woods
	north more_woods
	south more_woods
	east more_woods
tags rain

thing red_apple red apple
	tags portable
	loc woody_woods
	prop desc A shiny red apple, perfectly ripe. Suspiciously perfect, in fact...

verb take red_apple
	at woody_woods
	say As you lean down to pick up the apple, a hidden snare snaps tight around your legs! You're yanked upward and left dangling helplessly from a high branch. The apple drops to the ground below!
	hide apple
	goto trapped

thing tree_stump
	loc woody_woods
	prop desc A mossy old stump. Perfect for sitting on and pondering life’s miseries.

room trapped <b>You are dangling from a snare, six feet above the forest floor.</b> The blood is rushing to your head.
	prop display Snared!

verb wait
	at trapped
	!here darkriders
	say You hang there, waiting. Suddenly, a gang of dark-riders emerges from the gloom! They wear black masks and carry swords. One strides forward with a cocky swagger and flicks you on the forehead.
	bring darkriders
	bring gang_leader

thing darkriders Dark Riders
	tags alive plural
	prop desc A motley crew of masked dark-riders — all clad in black, wearing motorcycle gloves, and gripping deadly swords. You count at least a dozen.

thing gang_leader
	tags alive conversation
	prop desc He sneers constantly and wears a leather jacket covered in patches. A cigarette dangles from his lip, and his cocky strut makes you instantly dislike him. You know he is the leader because he is weating a little handmade badge which says "Team Leader".
	prop start_conversation The gang leader narrows his eyes and steps closer. "What do *you* want, snarebait?"
	prop end_conversation The gang leader shakes his head, disgusted. "You're boring me. Take him to the boss."

verb talk gang_leader
	say As you open your mouth, the gang leader strides up and flicks you on the forehead again.
	say
	say "OW!" you yell.
	say
	say "Take him to the boss," the leader orders, spitting something green and foul onto the forest floor.
	say
	say One of the masked elves steps forward and whacks you over the head with a tire iron. You black out instantly.
	goto great_hall
	put boss great_hall
put mel torture_chamber 
tag boss hobbiton
add score 80
run bossmeet

proc bossmeet
say <hr>
say
say <b>Sometime later...</b>
say
say You awake to the sound of slapping. And it's coming from someone slapping your face.
say
say "He's coming around, sire!" A voice says. The slapping stops.
say
say You open your eyes and wait until they adjust to your current surroundings. You are being held by two guards in a great hall. You are facing a golden throne, and upon it sits Tom Fallows, smiling down at you like he is your old friend.
say
say "Dave! Welcome back to the land of the living! We have much to discuss!"

room elfdungeon You are in <i>another</i> dark and dingy dungeon. This one is even worse than the last. There are some stone steps here leading upwards.
	prop display Dungeons
	up stone_steps

verb go up
	at elfdungeon
	here darkriders
	say The dark-riders block your path.
	say
	say "You ain't going nowhere till the boss has had a word with you!" the gang leader growls, shaking his fist under your chin.

setverb shoot_darkriders machine_gun
	carried machine_gun
	at elfdungeon
	here darkriders

verb shoot_darkriders 
!has machine_gun empty: Your gun is out of bullets!
	say Quick as a flash, you whip out the machine gun from your trousers and, using the last of the bullets, mow down every last dark-rider. The dungeon is soon filled with smoke, spent cartridges, and pools of dark-rider blood.
	say
	say The gang leader, his body a mess of bullet holes, crawls toward you, coughing blood as he tries to grab your legs.
	say
	say "I'll kill <cough> you..." he gasps.
	say
	say "Hasta la vista, baby!" you sneer, pulling the trigger and blowing the top of his head clean off.
	hide darkriders
	bring bloody_remains
add score 25

thing bloody_remains bloody remains
	prop desc The mutilated remains of the dark-riders — shredded limbs, torn leather, and more blood than a Tarantino finale.

# FINAL CHAPTER #

room great_hall <div class="greathall"></div>You are in a grand hall lined with imposing suits of armour. Priceless artwork decorates the walls. A wide staircase leads down into darkness, and a magnificent spiraling staircase leads up into the upper levels of the palace. Towering palace doors lie to the east, and a smaller wooden door leads to the west.
	prop display The Great Hall
	west palace_kitchens
	south entrance_hall

thing housecat friendly cat
name cat
loc great_hall
tags alive friendly portable
verbs pet

rule
!carried housecat
here housecat
has housecat friendly
random x 5
!eq $x 1: The cat mews.
!eq $x 2: The cat chases its tail.
!eq $x 3: The cat nuzzles against you.
!eq $x 4: The cat purrs.
say The cat washes itself.

rule
!carried housecat
chance 1 3
assign catroom housecat.loc
run pick_catdir
run assign_catverb
sayat $catroom The cat {$catverb} {$catdir}.
isroom $catroom.dir.$catdir
put housecat $catroom.dir.$catdir
run get_opposite
sayat housecat.loc The cat {$catverb} in from the {$opposite}.

proc pick_catdir
!carried housecat
pick catdir dirs housecat.loc
!contains $catdir these north east south west
run pick_catdir

proc get_opposite
eq $catdir north
assign opposite south
proc get_opposite
eq $catdir east
assign opposite west
proc get_opposite
eq $catdir south
assign opposite north
proc get_opposite
eq $catdir west
assign opposite east
proc get_opposite
log Couldn't get opposite direction to $catdir

verb pet housecat
has housecat friendly
say The cat paws playfully at your legs.

proc assign_catverb
assign catverb walks
has housecat angry
assign catverb runs

room entrance_hall You stand in the grand entrance hall of the palace — a cavernous chamber echoing with faded grandeur. Chandeliers hang like frozen fireworks above your head, and polished marble tiles stretch out beneath your feet, scuffed and worn by centuries of pomp. Twin staircases curve elegantly upward. The great palace doors are here, leading out of the palace - and to freedom.
north great_hall
east freedom
up palace_hallway
prop display The Palace Entrance Hall

verb talk boss
!at outside_cave
!at tennis_court: "Hello, Dave - are you ready for a game?"
say "Dave! It's good to have you back! I trust you rested well?" Tom greets you.
	say
	say "Tom? Tom Fallows? Tom Fallows from Tom Fallows Toothpaste Industries Corp (tm) What are you doing here?"
	say
	say "I take it your memory still hasn't returned. Don't worry — it will. And when it does, everything will make sense."
	say
	say "What are you talking about???"
	say
	say "Dave... this may come as a shock... but we're best friends! We've <i>always</i> been best friends! I sent you to Earth on a mission to infiltrate Hobbiton and lead us to Randalf and his agents.
	say You see, I want my toothpaste corporation — Tom Fallows Industries — to expand into Middle Earth. But first, we must destroy Randalf and his Marxist cronies.
say
	say With them gone, we’ll introduce a 500% markup on toothpaste... and with those profits, we shall <b>RULE THE WORLD!</b>"
	say
	say "But... why don’t I remember?"
	say
	say "I wiped your memory - effectively turning you into the perfect spy! You'd be so convincing! It was the only way to avoid suspicion. Randalf would have seen through you in an instant if you weren’t 100% sincere."
	say
	say You look down, confused. This is a lot to take in.
	say
	say "Take your time. While we wait for your memories to return, come and find me on the badminton court and we'll play a round or two."
say
say <b><i>Tom leaves the room.</i></b>
put boss tennis_court
add score 55
tag boss conversation
setverb ask_boss tennis
	at tennis_court

setverb ask_boss palace
	at tennis_court

setverb ask_boss palace_doors
	at tennis_court

thing offlimitssign sign
loc entrance_hall
prop desc A prim little sign perched on a golden stand bars the stairs with all the seriousness of a royal decree. It reads: <i><b>"NO ENTRY"</i></b> — in an elegant cursive font. You feel like you should respect what it says.

verb go up
at entrance_hall
here offlimitssign
say The sign says you can't go up there. You should really respect the rules when a guest in someone's home.

thing clock grandfather clock
loc great_hall
prop desc It looks very valuable!

thing guard1 Fat Goblin Guard
loc great_hall
prop desc A broad, barrel-chested goblin with an air of smug authority. He has a small black tootbrush moustache and wears a bowler hat. He grips a hefty trident.

thing guard2 Thin Goblin Guard
loc great_hall
prop desc A lanky, bewildered goblin with a perpetually confused expression and watery eyes. He clutches his trident nervously, shifting his weight from foot to foot, and occasionally scratches his head as if trying to remember what he’s guarding.

setverb give_lemonade guard1
held lemonade
verb give_lemonade guard1
say "No thank you, not whilst I'm on duty!"

setverb give_lemonade guard2
held lemonade
verb give_lemonade guard2
!here guard1: "No thank you, not whilst I'm on duty!"
say "Why thank you kindly, my throat is pretty parched as it happens!"
say
say <b>The guard takes the lemonade and downs it in one.</b>
hide lemonade
tag guard2 lemonade
run posionguard

proc posionguard
has guard2 lemonade
has lemonade spiked
say
say The guard suddenly clutches his throat. His eyes widen and he gurgles...and gasps. His mouth drops open in a silent scream, he scratches the top of his head for a moment, and then his brains explode, shooting out of both of his ears before he drops to the floor. Dead.
hide guard2
bring deadguard
add score 70

thing deadguard a dead goblin guard
prop desc Not a pretty sight!

verb examine clock
!here guard1: "Stand back! Step away from the clock!" The guard says, giving you a little poke in the ribs with his trident.
!here guard2: "Stand back! Step away from the clock!" The guard says, giving you a little poke in the ribs with his trident.
say You examine the grandfather clock.
say It seems to be on a hinge of somesort. It looks like it can be swung open, like a door.
tag clock open

setverb open clock
has clock open
verb open clock
say You pull the grandfather clock open, revealing a dark passageway which leads down into blackness!
open great_hall down stone_steps
add score 25

thing palace_doors
	loc entrance_hall
	verbs open
	prop desc Huge, intricately-carved doors that clearly haven't been opened in a long time.

verb open palace_doors
	say They lead to freedom, but they're locked tight! No chance of opening them.

verb go east
	at entrance_hall
	say You push, kick, and shoulder-barge the great doors, but they refuse to budge. Definitely locked.

room palace_kitchens You are in the palace kitchens. Huge wooden worktops dominate the room. Dead pheasants hang from hooks, and the air smells strongly of rosemary and thyme. Steps lead down to the wine cellar. Doors lead east and west.
	prop display Palace Kitchens
	east great_hall
	down wine_cellar
	west palace_gardens

rule
at palace_kitchens
here housecat
here scullery_maid
say
say "That bleedin' cat has got in again!" The scullery maid curses, as she picks up the cat and takes it outside...
put housecat palace_gardens
put scullery_maid palace_gardens
tag scullery_maid outside

rule
has scullery_maid outside
chance 1 5
put scullery_maid palace_kitchens
sayat palace_kitchens The scullery maid walks in, dusting her hands. She goes back to chopping vegetables.
untag scullery_maid outside

thing soup soup on the stove
loc palace_kitchens

verb examine soup
say A saucepan of steaming hot broth on a gas ring.
setverb blow soup

verb blow soup
!has soup done: You don't want to do that again in case you incur the wrath of the maid!
say You blow on the soup, and the flame on the stove goes out!
tag soup out

rule
at palace_kitchens
has soup out
here scullery_maid
say
say The scullery maid tuts, and lights the stove again using matches from her apron. She leaves the matches on the side and goes back to chopping vegetables.
untag soup out
tag soup done
bring matches

thing matches
tags portable plural

thing scullery_maid
	tags alive female conversation
	loc palace_kitchens
	prop desc A plump, no-nonsense maid with flour on her cheeks and a suspicious eye.
	prop start_conversation The scullery maid turns toward you, hands on hips. "Well then, what do you want?"
	prop end_conversation She tuts and turns back to her chopping board.

verb go down
	at palace_kitchens
	here scullery_maid
	say The scullery maid blocks your path.
	say
	say "...and just where do you think you're going, young sir? The master wouldn't like you poking about down there. Best keep out of trouble!"

room palace_gardens You are standing in the palace gardens. Rows upon rows of beautiful flower beds, carved stone ornaments, and delicate water features stretch into the distance. A small door leads east into the palace, a gurgling brook is heard to the southeast, and a tennis court lies to the west.
	prop display Palace Gardens
	east palace_kitchens
	west tennis_court
	southeast brook

room brook You are by a babbling brook in the palace gardens. To the northwest the garden continues, while to the south, the entrance to a hedge maze can just be made out.
	prop display A Babbling Brook
	northwest palace_gardens
	south maze

room maze You are standing outside the entrance to the palace hedge maze. Twisting hedges tower above you, trimmed with obsessive precision. The entrance yawns like the mouth of some green beast, daring you to step inside.
north brook
verbs enter_maze
prop display Hedge Maze

verb enter_maze
goto inside_maze

room inside_maze You are deep within the palace hedge maze. High walls of tangled greenery block your view in every direction. The air smells faintly of cut grass and damp earth. Distant birdsong does nothing to calm your growing sense of disorientation.
north  inside_maze
south inside_maze
east inside_maze
west inside_maze
prop display Inisde a Hedge Maze

verb go north
at inside_maze
run maze
verb go south
at inside_maze
run maze
verb go east
at inside_maze
run maze
verb go west
at inside_maze
run maze

proc maze
chance 1 9
say OK
goto maze_centre
proc maze
chance 1 5
say OK
goto maze
proc maze
say OK
goto inside_maze
say You are deep within the palace hedge maze. High walls of tangled greenery block your view in every direction. The air smells faintly of cut grass and damp earth. Distant birdsong does nothing to calm your growing sense of disorientation.
continue

room maze_centre At last! You've reached the centre of the maze — a perfectly circular clearing surrounded by dense hedge walls. In the middle stands a stone pedestal bearing a weathered sundial. The silence here feels ancient and important.
south inside_maze
east maze
prop display Centre of Maze

room tennis_court <div class="tenniscourt"></div>You are in the palace tennis court — the centrepiece of these luxurious gardens. Elegant flower beds surround the court. A small lemonade stand beckons to the south.
	prop display Tennis Court
	south lemonade_stand
	east palace_gardens

setverb shoot_Tom machine_gun
	at tennis_court
	held machine_gun

verb shoot_Tom machine_gun
	say You would <i>love</i> to, but you're out of bullets!

room lemonade_stand You are at a small wooden lemonade stand painted cheerful shades of blue and yellow. A handmade sign reading "Lemonade" is nailed above the kiosk. The tennis court lies to the north.
	prop display Lemonade Stand
	north tennis_court

rule
	at lemonade_stand
	has mark closed
	say <br><strong>The lemonade stand has closed for the day.</strong><br>

thing mark
	tags male alive conversation
	loc lemonade_stand
	prop name Mark
	prop desc Mark is a cheerful young man in his twenties who sells lemonade to palace visitors. Being a lemonade seller isn't the career he always dreamed about when studying all those late nights at college, but he makes the best of it.
	prop start_conversation Mark gives you a friendly wave. "Fancy a glass of the good stuff?"
	prop end_conversation Mark turns back to polishing lemons.

setverb ask_mark lemonade
	here mark

verb ask_mark lemonade
!carried lemonade: You already have a glass of lemonade - don't be greedy.
	say "Made with fresh lemons, and that's a Mark guarantee!" he beams, handing you a glass of lemonade.
	carry lemonade

thing lemonade glass of lemonade
	tags portable
	prop desc A refreshing glass of cool, tangy lemonade.
	cverbs drink

verb drink lemonade
	tag lemonade drunk
	say You gulp it down. It has all the zingy goodness of fresh lemons!
	hide lemonade

setverb spike_lemonade red_pill
held red_pill
carried lemonade
verb spike_lemonade red_pill
say You drop the tiny red pill into the lemonade. It fizzes violently, releasing a swirl of crimson bubbles that rise and vanish with a sinister hiss.
hide red_pill
tag lemonade spiked
add score 65

setverb give_lemonade boss
held lemonade
verb give_lemonade boss
say "No thank you." Tom says, "I don't like lemonade."
setverb give_lemonade scullery_maid
held lemonade
verb give_lemonade scullery_maid
say "No thank you." The maid says, "I don't like lemonade."

setverb ask_boss tennis
	at tennis_court

setverb ask_boss palace
	at tennis_court

setverb ask_boss palace_doors
	at tennis_court

setverb ask_boss badmington
at tennis_court

verb ask_boss palace_doors
	say "I'm afraid you can't leave... not yet. If you want your freedom, you'll have to defeat me in a game of badmington! Then we shall ses."
	tag palace_doors badmington

verb ask_boss badmington
	!held badmington_racket
	say "So... you wish to match wits with Tom Fallows, do you? Very well! Find a Badmington racket, and we shall duel. There should be one about somewhere."

verb ask_boss badmington
	held badmington_racket
	say "Ah, you have a racket! Then let the match begin! If you beat me, I shall grant you your freedom! - That's the Tom Fallows promise! (Although technically, the *real* Tom Fallows promise is lifetime tartar protection with every tube of our premium whitening toothpaste.)"
say
	goto badmington_match

verb ask_boss tennis
	say "Tennis? Pah! I don't play that. I prefer Badmington — the sport of gods!"

verb ask_boss palace
	say "Yes, it's a nice palace isn't it? Keeps the rain off of my head. Incredible to think that toothpaste paid for all this! Well, that and extortion of course."

room palace_hallway You are on a grand landing near a spiraling staircase that leads down. A grand-looking bedroom lies to the east.
	prop display Palace Hallway
	down great_hall
	east master_bedroom

room master_bedroom <div class="palacebedroom"></div>You are in the palace's luxurious master bedroom — truly fit for a king. The bed is large enough to house an entire hobbit regiment. A door leads back west to the landing. There is an en-suite bathroom to the north.
	prop display Master Bedroom
north ensuite
	west palace_hallway
east balcony

room balcony You are standing on the royal balcony. This overlooks the gardens. It the distance you can see a hill. You are shocked to see the hill contains a number of crosses, with hobbits nailed to them. <b>They are being crucified!!!</b>
west master_bedroom
prop display Royal Balcony

verb go north
at master_bedroom
has boss shower
say You wouldn't wish to catch Tom naked, so you decide to give him some privacy.

rule
at master_bedroom
has boss shower
chance 1 4
say
say <i><b>There are sounds of a shower running from the en-suite bedroom. Tom is singing a happy tune. </i></b>

thing godsizebed god-size bed
	loc master_bedroom
	prop desc A bed so enormous it could host the entire hobbit population of Hobbiton.

setverb pour_over_bed lighter_fluid
at master_bedroom
held lighter_fluid
verb pour_over_bed lighter_fluid
say You pour the lighter fluid all over Tom's bed. The small cannister is empty now so you toss it away.
hide lighter_fluid
tag godsizebed fluid
add score 55

setverb light godsizebed
held matches
has godsizebed fluid
verb light godsizebed
say You strike a match and throw it on the bed. It goes up a treat! As you stand there watching it burn, one of the guards rushes in and clumsily attempts to put it out by jumping on the flames. It's amusing to watch his feet start to burn as he jumps up and down on the mattress.
bring guard1
hide matches
tag guard1 jumping
add score 35
tag godsizebed onfire

thing bedside_table
	loc master_bedroom
	prop desc A small carved wooden table, with a lace doily and an empty water glass.

verb examine bedside_table
!has bedside_table remote
say A small carved wooden table, with a lace doily and an empty water glass.
say
say There is a TV remote control on it.
bring remote
tag bedside_table remote

thing remote remote control
prop desc A remote control for Tom's bedroom telly.
tags portable

verb examine remote
!has remote batteries
say There are two little batteries in the back.

setverb remove_batteries remote
!has remote batteries
held remote
verb remove_batteries remote
say You remove the batteries from the remote and chuckle to yourself. <i>'Try watching TV now, Tom - you bastard!'</i> you think.
tag remote batteries
carry batteries
add score 25

thing batteries
tags plural portable

thing palace_wardrobe
	loc master_bedroom
	tags container closed
	prop desc An enormous mahogany wardrobe with intricate carvings of unicorns and battles.
prop contents lighter_fluid

thing lighter_fluid
tags portable
prop contained_in palace_wardrobe

thing badmington_racket
	tags portable
	loc maze_centre
	prop desc A well-used badmington racket, strung with elvish twine. The grip feels just right in your hand.

room badmington_match You are standing on Centre Court. The tension is high, and all eyes are on you. It’s time for the ultimate showdown.
	prop display Centre Court
	verbs start_playing concede_victory

verb concede_victory
say You shake your head and stare at the ground, defeated, as Tom dances round the court, his racket in the air, dancing and singing "I won, I won, sucks to you, I won!"
say
goto tennis_court

verb start_playing
	!has mysterious_box used
	say The game is played at a frightening pace. To, and Fro the shuttlecock bounces - each player with gritted teeth and steel in their eyes - their hearts full of nothing but the utter determination to come out victorious.
say
say Unfortunatley, Tom beats you easily. You shake your head and stare at the ground, defeated, as Tom dances round the court, his racket in the air, dancing and singing "I won, I won, sucks to you, I won!"
say
	goto tennis_court

verb start_playing
	has mysterious_box used
	say You begin the match, your hollogram playing alongside you.
	say Tom stares, bewildered and distracted, he doesn't know which one of you to serve to, or in which direction the ball will return. You use the moment to dominate the match effortlessly.
	say
	say "NOOOO! I can't believe it! You cheated!!!" Tom screams, his voice echoing through the palace grounds.
say
say Like a spoilt child, he stomps his feet and storms off towards the palace.
say
say Your hologram splutters and flickers off. It seems the batteries are dead.
	goto tennis_court
hide boss
tag boss shower
hide offlimitssign
tag mysterious_box nobatteries
add score 95

# proc tennis_match
#	add boss.beat 1
#	!eq boss.beat 1: "GRRR! Best out of three!" Tom growls.<br>
#	!eq boss.beat 2: "GRRR! That game doesn’t count — let's play again. Properly this time!" he insists.<br>
#	!eq boss.beat 3: "GRRR! Best out of five!!" Tom yells, visibly sweating.<br>
#	!eq boss.beat 4: "GRRR! The sun was in my eyes!" he whines.<br>
#	say Tom smashes his racket on the ground in frustration.
#	say
#	say "Fine! One last game. If you win, you go free. If you lose — I’ll have you executed."
#
#	hide mark
#	tag mark closed

verb use mysterious_box
at badmington_match
!has mysterious_box nobatteries: The batteries are dead!
	tag mysterious_box used
	say You press the button on the black cube.
	say
	say A shimmering hologram of yourself flickers into view, two feet to your right — moving exactly as you move, and holding an identical racket.

setverb replace_batteries mysterious_box
has mysterious_box nobatteries
held mysterious_box
carried batteries
verb replace_batteries mysterious_box
say You replace the batteries in the mysterious box!
hide batteries
untag mysterious_box nobatteries
add score 50

room stone_steps You are standing on some winding stone steps, spiralling up and down within the stone walls.
	prop display Some Stone Steps
	down torture_chamber
	up great_hall

room torture_chamber <div class="torture"></div>You are standing in a stank, dark torture chamber. Just standing in the room sends a shiver down your spine - but that could be because you're naked but for your dressing gown.
prop display Torture Chamber
up stone_steps

thing rack torture rack
loc torture_chamber

verb examine rack
!has portaloo blockedrock: A brutal wooden torture rack stretches across the room, its blood-stained rollers and iron clasps a testament to unspeakable agony. The toothpaste industry surely has a lot to answer for.
say Bound to the rack is the naked, dead and bloodied body of Randalf the wizard.
hide portaloo

thing sack hessian sack
loc torture_chamber
tags portable
cverbs fill
prop desc A worn burlap sack, stained from past adventures. It could hold a good deal of loot if needed.

verb fill sack
!here toothpaste
say ...with what?

rule
at torture_chamber
!has torture_chamber visited
say
say <i><b>Melina is here, manacled to one of the stone walls!</b> She looks like she has been tortured relentlessy. Her head is lolling as she groans gently.<i>
tag torture_chamber visited

setverb free mel
!has mel free
thingat mel torture_chamber
verb free mel
say You race over to her and untie her restraints. She collapses into your arms.
say
say "Where...where am I?" She mutters incoherently.
say
say "Everything will be alright..." You calmy whisper, whilst feeling very dubious about that.
say
say After a few small slaps around the cheeks and a pinch on the bum, Melina regains her compusure. "Let's get out of here!" She says. 
say You agree!
say
tag mel free
tag mel follow
add score 125

rule
has mel free
!has mel left
bring mel

room wine_cellar <div class="winecellar"></div>You are in the palace wine cellar. Wine barrels are stacked up everywhere. Set into the floor is a trapdoor.
prop display Wine Cellar
up palace_kitchens

rule
at wine_cellar
chance 1 6
bring butler
say The butler enters.
chance 1 3
!has wine_barrell empty
say The butler drinks a little of the wine.
rule
at wine_cellar
here butler
chance 1 6
say The butler opens the trapdoor.
say
say The butler throws a barrell through the trapdoor, and closes it again.

thing wine_barrell
loc wine_cellar
prop desc 
verbs hide_inside tip_over drink_wine

verb tip_over wine_barrell
!has wine_barrell empty: It's already empty.
say You tip over the barrell and the wine comes flowing out.
tag wine_barrell empty
add score 25

verb hide_inside wine_barrell
!has wine_barrell empty
say You can't - it's full of wine!

verb drink_wine wine_barrell
!has wine_barrell empty: The barrell is empty!
say You drink all the wine.
tag wine_barrell empty

verb hide_inside wine_barrell
at wine_cellar: No, you've had enough of that.
here mel
say You squeeze inside the wine barrell, and Melina squeezes in next to you. A tight fit - but not a wholy unpleasant one.
say
goto inside_barrell
verb hide_inside wine_barrell
at wine_cellar
!here mel
say You hide inside the wine barrell.
say
goto inside_barrell

thing trapdoor
tags closed
loc wine_cellar

setverb open trapdoor
has trapdoor closed
setverb close trapdoor
has trapdoor open
verb open trapdoor
say You open the trapdoor and peer down. Fast flowing water flows beneath.
tag trapdoor open
untag trapdoor closed
verb close trapdoor
say You close the trapdoor again
tag trapdoor closed
untag trapdoor open

room inside_barrell You are inside the wine barrell.
verbs climb_out
prop display Hiding Inside A Wine Barrell

verb wait
at inside_barrell
say You wait patiently...
chance 1 5
put butler wine_cellar

rule
at inside_barrell
eq butler.loc wine_cellar
chance 1 2
say You hear footsteps... The butler grunts.
say
say You hear the trapdoor creaking open...
say
say <b>Suddenly, the barrel lurches!</b>
say
say With a mighty heave, the barrel tips—and you and the barrell are thrown through the trapdoor and into the fast flowing river!
say
goto river
add score 60

thing butler butler
name butler
loc wine_cellar
tags alive friendly
verbs talk

rule
!carried butler
here butler
has butler friendly
random x 5
!eq $x 1: The butler coughs politely.
!eq $x 2: The butler adjusts his waistcoat.
!eq $x 3: The butler dusts an imaginary speck.
!eq $x 4: The butler glances at his pocket watch.
say The butler clears his throat quietly.

rule
chance 1 3
assign butlerroom butler.loc
run pick_butlerdir
run assign_butlerverb
sayat $butlerroom The butler {$butlerverb} {$butlerdir}.
isroom $butlerroom.dir.$butlerdir
put butler $butlerroom.dir.$butlerdir
sayat butler.loc The butler {$butlerverb} in.

proc pick_butlerdir
pick butlerdir dirs butler.loc
!contains $butlerdir these north east south west up down
run pick_butlerdir

proc assign_butlerverb
random y 4
eq $y 1
assign butlerverb strides
eq $y 2
assign butlerverb shuffles
eq $y 3
assign butlerverb marches
eq $y 4
assign butlerverb glides

verb climb_out
at inside_barrell
say You climb out of the barrell.
goto wine_cellar

room river You are bobbing in a half-submerged wine barrel, floating along a fast-flowing river.
prop display Floating on the River
verbs climb_out

verb climb_out
at river
has river reeds: You should wait until the barrell comes to a stop!
say 
say <i><b>You climb out of the barrell and it sinks to the bottom of the river. </i></b>
goto riverbank
hide wine_barrell

var riverturns 0

rule
at river
lt $riverturns 5
add riverturns 1

rule
at river
eq $riverturns 5
say The barrel suddenly comes to an abrupt stop – caught up in some reeds.
tag river reeds

room riverbank <div class="riverbank"></div>You are at the banks of a wide, shimmering lake. Silver reeds sway in the breeze, and you can see the ruined city of Dale to the north. Mist rolls softly across the water, and the distant Lonely Mountain looms like a forgotten god.
	prop display Bank of the River
	north ruins

thing hotel_bus blue and yellow tour coach
tags board
prop desc A blue and yellow tour bus with a cartoon dragon on the side and the words “Middle-earth Express” painted in peeling gold.

thing coach_party group of tourists
tags plural conversation
prop desc A dozen or so tourists in gaudy ski jackets and woollen bobble hats, all pointing their cameras at the Lonely Mountain and arguing over who saw it first.

verb talk coach_party
say You sidle up to the group. One of them offers you a boiled sweet. Another is trying to take a selfie with a gnome.
say
say "We’re on the Middle Earth tour!" one of them chirps. "I've done it before, actually - this is my 5th time. Have you seen the red dragon yet?"

thing bus_driver burly bus driver
tags alive male conversation
prop desc The bus driver is a stout fellow with a handlebar moustache and a thermos full of tea. He seems gruff, but there's a twinkle in his eye.

verb talk bus_driver
say The bus driver looks you up and down. "You heading back to the hotel, then?" he asks. "Well hop aboard, I’m not waiting around all day."

setverb board hotel_bus
at riverbank

verb board hotel_bus
here mel
say The bus driver lets you board, but <b>stops Mel in her tracks.</b>
say
say "The bus is full, maam!" He says, "You'll have to wait for the next one."
say
say "I'll see you back in Hobbiton!" You say to her, leaving her quite, quite alone in the harsh enviroment.
say
say "Er...Ok." She says, looking nervously around her. Somewhere, a wolf howls.
say
say You find a seat near the back and settle in as the engine rumbles into life.
say
say The coach pulls away from the riverbank, winding alongside the Black River where swans drift lazily on dark waters.
say
say Soon the landscape changes — bleak moorlands stretch out beneath a slate-grey sky. You pass the ruins of old stone watchtowers, crumbling and silent.
say
say The bus plunges into ancient woods, gnarled trees clawing at the windows. You glimpse shadows moving—great black spiders perhaps—but the bus doesn’t stop.
say
say Finally, the road climbs into snow-dusted peaks, and the coach emerges in a cheerful ski village nestled in the Misty Mountains. The sign ahead reads:
say
say <b>HOTEL MISTY - LUXURY SKI RESORT</b>
say
goto hotelmisty
hide mel
untag mel follow
tag mel left

verb board hotel_bus
!here mel
say You climb aboard the coach, nodding politely to the tourists as you pass. You find a seat near the back and settle in as the engine rumbles into life.
say
say The coach pulls away from the riverbank, winding alongside the Black River where swans drift lazily on dark waters.
say
say Soon the landscape changes — bleak moorlands stretch out beneath a slate-grey sky. You pass the ruins of old stone watchtowers, crumbling and silent.
say
say The bus plunges into ancient woods, gnarled trees clawing at the windows. You glimpse shadows moving—great black spiders perhaps—but the bus doesn’t stop.
say
say Finally, the road climbs into snow-dusted peaks, and the coach emerges in a cheerful ski village nestled in the Misty Mountains. The sign ahead reads:
say
say <b>HOTEL MISTY - LUXURY SKI RESORT</b>
say
goto hotelmisty

room ruins <div class="ruins"></div>You stand amid the moss-choked ruins of Dale. Crumbled stone walls rise like broken teeth, and the wind whispers secrets through shattered arches. Shadows stretch long beneath ancient towers.
	prop display Ruins of Dale
	south riverbank
	north lonely_mountain

room lonely_mountain <div class="lonelymountain"></div>You are on a narrow, winding path carved into the grey bones of the Lonely Mountain. The air is thin and biting, and far below the lake glitters like a sliver of glass.
	prop display Slopes of the Lonely Mountain
	south ruins
	up outside_cave

room outside_cave You stand on a narrow ledge halfway up the mountain, before a yawning cave entrance. The wind howls around you, carrying the scent of sulphur and the faintest whiff of mint. The cave mouth breathes out warm air, and your skin prickles.
	prop display Outside the Dragon’s Cave
	down lonely_mountain
	verbs jump enter_cave

verb enter_cave
!has boss finale: You can't go anywhere - you have a gun trained on you!
	goto halls

verb jump
	say With a trembling heart, you leap from the ledge—
	die You plummet down the mountainside to your doom. GAME OVER.

room halls <div class="cavehalls"></div>You are within the echoing, vaulted halls of the Lonely Mountain. Piles of treasure glint in the gloom — not gold, but twisted tubes, barrels, and crates of minty-fresh toothpaste. The air is thick with the scent of spearmint and dragon breath.
	prop display The Dragon’s Halls
	east outside_cave

thing dragon mighty red dragon
	loc halls
	tags sleeping alive
	prop desc A vast red dragon lies coiled atop a mound of toothpaste tubes, his snores rattling the cavern walls. His scales shimmer like embers, and a small trickle of smoke curls from his nostrils.

setverb talk dragon
	at halls
!has dragon dead
	here dragon

verb talk dragon
	has dragon sleeping
say "Zzzzzzzz..." The dragon mutters in his sleep, turning slightly as a bubble of toothpaste pops beneath him.

thing toothpaste
	loc halls
	prop desc Mounds and mounds of minty-fresh toothpaste — enough to brush the teeth of all Middle Earth until the end of days.

verb fill sack
	at halls
	here toothpaste
	!has sack full
	say You begin scooping up handfuls of the minty hoard, stuffing the sack to bursting.
	tag sack full
add score 100
hide toothpaste
	!has boss dead
	run bossdragon
	continue

proc bossdragon
bring boss
say
say <b>Suddenly, Tom walks in! He is carrying a sub machine gun.</b>
say
say "Hahaha, you led me right to it, you fool!" He says, swinging the gun towards the dragon. "Now I shall kill this damned toothpaste dragon, and shares in my toothpaste company will go through the roof!"
say
say "Tom, no - think about what you're doi---"
say
say But Tom doesn't listen. He fires in the belly of the dragon, killing it as it sleeps. With a groan, the dragon turns on it's side, and breathes toothpaste no more.
say
say Tom points the gun at you. "Drop the sack. Walk out the cave, slowly - and over to the cliff edge."
say
say You do as he says.
put sack halls
goto outside_cave
bring boss
untag dragon sleeping
tag dragon dead
write dragon.desc A dead dragon. Very sad.
say
say "Now jump. Or I'll shoot you where you stand."
say
tag boss finale
write boss.desc Tom is standing with one foot forward, trenchcoat billowing dramatically in the wind. His gun is steady, his eyes steely.

verb go down
has boss finale
say You can't go anywhere - you have a gun trained on you!
say

rule
	at outside_cave
	add tom_timer 1

rule
	at outside_cave
	eq $tom_timer 5
	!has boss distracted
!has boss dead
	say <b>"Times up!" Tom shrieks, firing the gun at you widly.</b> 
	say
	say  The bullets ripple your chest, and you teeter backward of the cliff, arms flailing — screaming as you fall...
	say
	say —and fall.
	die You plunge to your death on the rocks below. Oh well, what's not to be is not to be. GAME OVER

verb use mysterious_box
!has mysterious_box nobatteries
at outside_cave
	say You press the button on the mysterious box. Instantly, a hologram of yourself appears a few feet away, flickering eerily.
	say
	say Tom jerks the gun toward the illusion and empties his machine gun into the hologram.
	say
	say <b>You seize the moment.</b>
	tag boss distracted

verb talk boss
at outside_cave
say "The time for talking has passed. You are better value to me dead. Now say your prayers, I'm going to shoot your nipples off."

setverb kick boss
at outside_cave
has boss distracted
verb kick boss
say You give Tom Fallows an almighty kick in the bollocks, sending him spirallying off the cliff and into oblivion.
say
say "You've not heard the last of meeeeeeeeeee..." His voice echoes throughout the land, his words punctuated by a tiny splat.
hide boss
tag boss dead
untag boss finale
add score 250

verb use mysterious_box
!has mysterious_box nobatteries: The batteries are dead!
say You press the button on the strange black cube. With a quiet hum, it whirs to life.
say A beam of pale blue light projects upward, and within moments a perfect holographic duplicate of you shimmers into view at your side.
say The image mimics your every movement with eerie precision — a ghostly echo of yourself brought to life.
say After a few moments, the hologram crackles with static and flickers off.

verb take sack
has sack full
say <b>Congratulations! You have defeated Tom Fallows, the evil toothpaste Baron of Hobbinton.</b>
say
say The red dragon is dead (even though he wasn't doing any harm to anyone.)
say
say The people of Hobbiton now have enough toothpaste to last the rest of their lives. Hooray!
say
say Although the adventure is over, there is <b>still work to be done!<b><i> Earn extra points by taking the sack of toothpaste back to Hobbiton.</i>
say
say GOD SPEED!
add score 500
tag sack won
put coach_party riverbank
put hotel_bus riverbank
put bus_driver riverbank
carry sack
write hotelmisty.desc You are outside "Hotel Wifty", a grand five-star retreat nestled in a snowy mountain pass. Tourists in colourful ski gear are bustling about, snapping selfies and slipping over on patches of ice.

thing skis pair of skis
tags portable wearable plural
prop desc A slick, red pair of high-end skis, slightly scratched from previous tumbles.

room hotel You are in the warm, wood-panelled foyer of Hotel Misty. Polished antler chandeliers hang overhead, and a stone fireplace crackles in the corner. A reception desk stands near the wall, while glass doors reveal the snowy forecourt beyond.<br><br>A guest is angrily arguing with the receptionist.
out hotelmisty
prop display Hotel Misty Foyer

thing receptionist2 receptionist
loc hotel
tags alive
verbs talk
prop desc A stern-looking receptionist with a pencil moustache and an exaggerated air of disapproval.

thing guest angry guest
loc hotel
tags alive
verbs talk
prop desc A red-faced man in ski boots, gesturing furiously at the receptionist.

verb talk receptionist2
say "Check-in is strictly after 3pm!" the receptionist says without making eye contact.

verb talk guest
random x 3
!eq $x 1: "They lost my reservation!"
!eq $x 2: "How do you run out of *clean towels* in a ski hotel?!"
!eq $x 3: "I swear, next year I’m going to the Mines of Moria Spa instead."

verb examine guest
!has skis visible
say Among the guest’s luggage, you notice a striking pair of skis poking out.
tag skis visible wearable
bring skis

setverb use skis
at hotelmisty
has skis worn

verb use skis
say
say <b>You strap on the skis and hurl yourself down the icy slope.</b>
say The wind whips your face. Snow sprays up as you carve past trees - the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
say
say <b>INSTRUCTIONS FOR PLAYER: Open YouTube and play the <i>theme tune to Ski Sunday</i>. You may then continue playing once the music has finished.</b>
say
say With a final bump, you crash to a stop at the foot of a snow-laden pine tree.
goto forest4
hide taxicab
add score 125

room forest You are deep in a pine forest. Every tree is frosted with snow, and your breath fogs the air. Somewhere in the distance, a crow calls ominously.
south north_road
east forest2
prop display Frozen Forest

room forest2 You are surrounded by dense fir trees. The snow is thick here, muffling every sound. A hare darts across your path and disappears into the underbrush.
west forest
east forest3
prop display Deep Forest

room forest3 The pines grow closer here, their branches interlocking above your head. It’s eerily quiet.
west forest2
east forest4
prop display Silent Forest

room forest4 You’re at the edge of the forest, where the snow is disturbed by recent ski tracks. A black crow regards you with curiosity from a low branch.
west forest3
prop display Forest Clearing

rule
at forest4
has sack won
chance 1 2
bring eyes
rule
at forest3
has sack won
chance 1 3
bring eyes
rule
at forest2
has sack won
chance 1 2
bring eyes

thing eyes some pale bulbous eyes staring at you.
prop desc They don't look human!

verb go west
here eyes
has sack won
run deathwalk
verb go east
here eyes
has sack won
run deathwalk
verb go south
here eyes
has sack won
run deathwalk

verb wait
here eyes
hide eyes
say Time passes...

proc deathwalk
say
say As you step between the trees, the forest above unzips with a sudden rustle—then something massive slams down on your back, knocking the breath from your lungs. Hairy limbs like twisted ropes coil around your chest and face, muffling your scream before it can escape. You're dragged upward into the shadows, into a nest of chittering hunger. Acidic ooze floods your mouth, searing your tongue and throat as darkness blossoms behind your eyes.
say You are digested alive.
die The end.

verb go west
at forest4
has skis worn
say Walking around wearing skis is very uncomfortable. I suggest you take them off!
untag skis wearable

verb put_toothpaste_in_chest wooden_chest
add score 250
say
say <b>You put the sack full on treasure inside the chest! Congratulations the game is now 100% - Hobbiton is saved, blah blah blah. Now you can go and do something more constructive with your time.</b>
say
say See you next time!
say
die Your score is {$score}/{$maxscore}