You should've seen it coming.
You knew she would turn you down.
But hope got the best of you.
Now you see,
That all hopes die with the truth.
No matter what happened,
Big or small,
They will neverchoose you.
So you should've seen it coming,
Instead of letting you hopes live past the truth.

DELETED

DELETED

So now you see,
you truly see
what's
really
really





Wrong with me.

When I go to school,
I see my friends.
I have quite a few,
So I don't understand why I feel so alone.
Why when I'm right next to them,
they never notice.
Or when I wave.
Or when I call their name.
Even when I'm in tears.
They never notice.
They. Never. Notice.

Anxiety is not fearing speaking in front of people or being nervous,
Anxiety is staying up all night fearing tomorrow.

She's here.
Then she's not.
I'm fine with it,
then I'm not.
She laughs with me,
then she turns away.
What do I do?
How do I make you stay?
I can't
Can I?
Because soon,
when you turn away,
like you do so frequently,
you're not going to come back.

There once was a little girl,
who sat on a swing.
All alone.





And that little girl was me.

DELETED

Ode to Headphones From days spent locked up in my room,
To nights in which I can't sleep.
You helped me when no one else did,
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
When I put you on,
The world around me stops.
And the constant pain turns into dull throbs.
When the music starts,
I seem to forget,
All the chaos that follows my every move,
When I put you on,
Softly cushioned on my head,
I cease to listen to the rage they all seem to have.
All the worries I once had,
Fade into songs until there's none left.
From nights in which I can't sleep,
To days spent alone in the world,
You were always there,
When I needed someone the most.

DELETED

The droopiness in my eyes, the lack of focus in my head, the clamminess of my palms, I'm not me today. The overly joyed and bubbly self is just not here today. All that's here is the tired and constantly depressed me. The me that continuously digs a hole for herself and just wants to stay there for good. The me that just needs a hug. But never gets one.

Flowers bloom,
Then they die.
All I could do was sit and cry.
The tears of pain,
I show every day,
Tell them that my darkness will not falter today.
Daughters bloom,
Then they die.
But all they could do was watch as I said "Goodbye".

I never knew how to speak.
When to laugh.
When to smile.
When to cry.
Because no one ever taught me.
I was confused.
Scared.
Alone in a world full of voiceless voices.

Fake a smile.
Rehearse the lines.
It's all an act,
a performance of lies.
Don't toy with my heart,
don't mess with my looks,
I am who she wants me to be,
isn't that all you really see?
A young girl just trying to survive,
because the wrath of her mother,
will lead her to her demise.
I know what I must do,
to make everyone happy,
just as long as this act keeps going,
so no one has to see the rest of me.
I am a young girl,
who was taught from the beginning,
that who I really am,
is not what I should be.
I should be an image,
a role model,
something that people look up to.
Something that I wasn't.
Because she saw that I was a young girl,
just trying to survive.
So all she had to do,
was set up my disguise.

So fake a smile.
Practice your lines.
This is you performance,
a play full of lies.