Dead Man's Fiesta

SATOR AREPO TENET OPERA ROTAS{ (click: "N")[(goto:"intro 1")] (set: $trip to (datamap: "place1", "", "thing1", "", "place2", "", "thing2", "", "place3", "", "thing3", "" )) (set: $act1places to (a: "marsh", "camping", "fair")) (set: $activities to (a: "poem", "icecream", "ashes")) (set: $fat_ghost_pleased to false) (set: $thin_ghost_pleased to false) (set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to false)  (set: $discussed_with_ghosts to (a:)) (set: $background to "null") (set: $backgroundchanged to true) }<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('invocation')</script>

[[back|start]] [[gallery of backgrounds]] Words and code by Edward Sibley <a href = "https://www.edsibley.co.uk/">edsibley.co.uk</a> <a href = "https://twitter.com/thing_stuff">@thing_stuff</a> Illustration by William Redgrove <a href = "williamredgrove.com">https://www.williamredgrove.com/</a> Title taken from "Yeah, This House Is Haunted" by Superman Revenge Squad For Beryl and Ian

by the time probate came through, I only had ten days of compassionate leave left [[bereavement was boring|bereavement was boring INIT]] [[so many words you only hear when people die|so many words you only hear when people die INIT]]<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('tw-passage')</script>

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }sitting in silence in the kitchen looking out the window taking books off shelves packing clothes up for the charity shop making extravagant breakfasts []<output|{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "sitting in silence in the kitchen")[(set: $text to "wondering if it was disrespectful to the dead to turn the television on")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "looking out the window ")[(set: $text to "looking at the driveway and the empty garage and the quiet street")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "taking books off shelves")[(set: $text to "most of them unopened in half a lifetime books are crap")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "packing clothes up for the charity shop")[(set: $text to "piling up black plastic bags in the hall with no way to get them anywhere")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "making extravagant breakfasts")[(set: $text to "they left a lot of sausages in the freezer")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]] ]}

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }probate escrow testator executor hearse []<output|{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "probate")[(set: $text to "don't pretend you're not excited for the money to come")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "escrow")[(set: $text to "a big black bird with money in its beak")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "testator")[(set: $text to "a legal instrument, like a dusty paper ukulele hanging on a wall")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "executor")[(set: $text to "sounds like 'executioner', which seems kind of rude")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "hearse")[(set: $text to "it took them from from the hospital to the crematorium I never saw it maybe it was just a van")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]] ]}

2008 ford fiesta, 5 doors, grey 83,500 miles on the clock air con, electric windows, the works £3,495 [[little did I know, I'd just bought a...|£3,495]]

but probate happened, so I had a little money for once (live: 3s)[and, well, it had been a crappy month, honestly(stop:)] (live: 6s)[and maybe I deserved a treat(stop:)] (live: 9s)[maybe I deserved a god damn treat for once(stop:)] (live: 12s)[(linkgoto: "so I bought a car")(stop:)]

(set: $title to true) [<img src = "images/title.gif" class = "title">]<title| (click: ?title)[(set: $title to false)(goto:"intro 2")]

I wondered when the passionate display of raw emotion was going to happen (live: 3s)[it hasn't happened yet(stop:)] (live: 6s)[but waiting for it was tiring(stop:)] (live: 9s)[and maybe that was a good enough reason to treat myself?(stop:)] (live: 12s)[the inheritance money was never going to last forever, after all(stop:)] (live: 15s)[(linkgoto: "so I bought a car")(stop:)]

{ (if: $i is 0)[(set: $output_text to "<hr>" + $text)] (elseif: $i < $goal)[ (set: $output_text to it + "<hr>" +$text)] (else:)[(set: $output_text to it + "<hr>" +$exit)] (set: $i to it + 1) (goto: $name) }

(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "weeks of this [[too much time inside my head]] [[not enough time for grief to arrive]]") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random:1,2)) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "bereavement was boring")

{(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "XXXX") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random:2,4)) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "PASSAGE")}

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }word thing doop spode ludo []<output|{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "word")[(set: $text to "word are lame")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "thing")[(set: $text to "thing are lame")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "doop")[(set: $text to "doop are lame")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "spode")[(set: $text to "spode are lame")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "ludo")[(set: $text to "ludo are lame")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]] ]}

{(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "I had a lot of paperwork to manage in all those weeks and weeks [[too much time inside my head]] [[not enough time for grief to arrive]]") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random:2,4)) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "so many words you only hear when people die")}

act 1(set: $background to "null")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) [[a car is something you sit inside]]

because the funeral had felt so impersonal the service didn't feel like it had anything to do with them they never hung around in a crematorium why would you say goodbye in one? so I was going to do it properly, personally I had ashes to scatter, but I was going to have a nice time doing it this was for me (display: "tripoptions")(set: $i to 0)

{(set: $act1places to it - (a: "marsh")) (set: $place to "marsh") (display: "recordplace") }haven't been there for years flat sandbars, salty breeze, birds that look like umbrellas and carrier bags nobody but dog walkers (display: "actionoptions")

{(set: $act1places to it - (a: "camping")) (set: $place to "camping") (display: "recordplace") }the lot was still paid up to the end of the month throw some food and drink in the back of my new car just drive right on over spend the evening under the sky eating crisps and drinking wine and reading paradise (display: "actionoptions")

{(set: $act1places to it - (a: "fair")) (set: $place to "fair") (display: "recordplace") }that'll be fun go on the tiny little roller coaster win a bear from a stall get my fortune read (display: "actionoptions")

(if: $act1places's length > 0)[(if: $act1places's length is 3)[first, I was gonna visit... ](elseif: $act1places's length is 2)[then, I was gonna hit up... ](elseif: $act1places's length is 1)[then finally it would be time to visit... ](if: $act1places contains "marsh")[(linkgoto:"the marsh") ](if: $act1places contains "camping")[(linkgoto:"the caravan") ](if: $act1places contains "fair")[(linkgoto:"Dimchurch Amusement Park")]](else:)[(linkgoto: "but first, the car was filthy")]

in fact it was disgusting - I couldn't believe she'd sold it to me in such a state(set: $background to "car")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) half a bin-bag's worth of muddy newspaper in the boot brown grime on both sides of the windows a mat of wiry dog hair on the back seat but that stuff was all ok, really the worst mess was centered around the driver's seat [[the previous owner had a lot of bad habits|filthy car INIT]]

(if: $activities's length > 0)[(if: $activities's length is 3)[while I was there, I was going to... ](elseif: $activities's length is 2)[the important thing was that while I was there I was going to make time to... ](elseif: $activities's length is 1)[and because that was the last stop, it would be the right time to... ](if: $activities contains "poem")[(linkgoto:"read that poem") ](if: $activities contains "icecream")[(linkgoto:"eat a mint choc chip ice cream") ](if: $activities contains "ashes")[(linkgoto:"scatter the ashes")]]

{(set: $activities to it - (a: "poem")) (set: $thing to "poem") (display: "recordthing") }I'd found a tiny book under the pillow on their bed shorter than a thumb fabric cover, yellow pages, smells kinda sour it does that thing where it naturally falls open to one particular page because that's the page someone liked the best there's a poem there kinda dumb but whatever (display: "tripoptions")

{(set: $activities to it - (a: "icecream")) (set: $thing to "icecream") (display: "recordthing") }that was my favourite flavour when I was a kid is it still my favourite flavour? it feels kind of strange to have a strong preference about ice cream but of all the flavours, this is the one with which I feel the strongest emotional resonance (display: "tripoptions")

{(set: $activities to it - (a: "ashes")) (set: $thing to "ashes") (display: "recordthing") }that'd be the place to do it (display: "tripoptions")

the seller seemed pretty eager to be rid of it she gave me five hundo off the asking price she even delivered it I was barely off the phone before she was parking it up in front of the house I offered to give her a lift back into town "no! I'll walk! thanks so much!" absent minded lady forgot to ask for the cash I had to run down the road to catch her fast walker, too [[I had my first trip planned out]]

{(if: $i is 0)[(set: "place1" of $trip to $place)] (if: $i is 1)[(set: "place2" of $trip to $place)] (if: $i is 2)[(set: "place3" of $trip to $place)]}

{(if: $i is 0)[(set: "thing1" of $trip to $thing)] (if: $i is 1)[(set: "thing2" of $trip to $thing)] (if: $i is 2)[(set: "thing3" of $trip to $thing)] (set: $i to it + 1)}

for each place: load $place and $thing out of the datamap populate some prob variables? poem then the psychic walks over ice cream ghost gets all in your personal space - lovely! fag hanging out of its mouth, ash places looks around but I know this city! talks about the car as he gives chase laughs and starts chasing after you - ice cream is dropped ash ghost is just there, watching you after you've done two encounters, option of whether you'll do third one or not if you met fortune teller in park, she calls you in to her shop if you didn't, you go in of your own volition the psychic tells you you're having a panic attack

I turned to look crammed in the back seat were a fat dude, a skinny dude, and a skeleton [[what?]] [[nope]]

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }cigarette butts in the cupholder receipts and newspapers in the door pockets takeaway bags rotting in the passenger footwell glove compartment choked with sweet wrappers furry dice on the mirror []<output|{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "cigarette butts in the cupholder")[(set: $text to "caked in with ash and pennies I had to dig them out with a screwdriver there were hundreds of them it made me gag")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "receipts and newspapers in the door pockets")[(set: $text to "mostly copies of the telegraph from a couple of years ago the crosswords had been done on all of them at the bottom, a handful of pro-leave flyers")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "takeaway bags rotting in the passenger footwell")[(set: $text to "nobody's sat in that passenger seat for a long time bags and bags of sweet and sour ooze, congealed into a sticky mass I piled them up outside there were dozens I was gonna need to bleach the footwell")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "glove compartment choked with sweet wrappers")[(set: $text to "I pulled out one and they all came spilling out over my lap sugar everywhere quite a lot of the packets still had sweets in all the sweets that were left behind were yellow guess the last owner didn't like the yellow ones")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "furry dice on the mirror")[(set: $text to "once the dice had been white, but now they were yellow with nicotine a patch on one side said Best Wishes From Margate! they were tangled round the mirror but I got them down eventually")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]] ]}

{(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "I felt the car move under me [[someone was sitting in the back]]") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random:2,3)) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "filthy car")}

I hadn't heard a sound, but there they were three see-through figures, squeezed into the back row, looking past me, out of the front of the car [[a fat one]] [[a thin one]] [[a skeleton]]

I struggled with the handle for a hot moment(set: $background to "null")(set: $ghost to "")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) the door came open behind me and I fell backwards out of the car I rolled over, scrambled to my feet, ran back towards the house [[no sound came from the car]]

I turned and looked it was empty the driver's door was open, but the rest of the doors were shut there was clearly nobody there they were gone [[rude]]

he looked cheerful and a little sweaty(set: $ghost to "fat") i could see the seat-back through him his eyes were blank he made a sound like a gurgling drain as he cleared his throat [[then all three ghosts turned at once and looked at me|nope]]

he wrung his hands together and glanced around the car like he didn't know where he was(set: $ghost to "thin") he opened his mouth and moistened a see-through lip with a see-through tongue [[then all three ghosts turned at once and looked at me|nope]]

it didn't move(set: $ghost to "skeleton") clothes ten sizes too big hung off it its jaw sagged open [[then all three ghosts turned at once and looked at me|nope]]

but when I got back round to the driver's side door, I noticed something (if: $a is false)[the cigarette butts were back in the cupholder ](if: $b is false)[the newspapers were back in the door pockets ](if: $c is false)[the takeaway bags had put themselves back in the footwell ](if: $d is false)[the sweets were back in the glove box ](if: $e is false)[and they'd hung the furry dice back up ][[they'd put it all back]]

I didn't know how to process any of that, so I didn't I just pushed it out of my head and I just couldn't face doing all that cleaning again, so I left it how it was [[I set out on my trip the next day|intro3]]

I had nine days left before I had to start work again I hoped that would be enough time for the emotions to happen pretty embarassing to finally get sad two days after work started and break down crying in the middle of the cafeteria or something I left the house later than I wanted because I'm lazy and then I realised I forgot to bring the ashes so I had to go back and get them I thought about belting them into the back seat, but in the end I just put them in the boot didn't want to anthropomorphise them too much, considering the fact that I'd seen a bunch of ghosts the day before the car was disgusting, but so was I, so that was that { (set: $t to 0) (display: "update trip") }

{  (set: $t to it + 1) (if: $t is 1)[(set: $place to $trip's "place1")(set: $thing to $trip's "thing1")](elseif: $t is 2)[(set: $place to $trip's "place2")(set: $thing to $trip's "thing2")](if: $t is 3)[(set: $place to $trip's "place3")(set: $thing to $trip's "thing3")] (if: $t<4)[(if: $place is "marsh")[(link: "I headed for the marsh")[(goto: $place)]](elseif: $place is "camping")[(link: "I headed for the campsite where the caravan lived")[(goto: $place)]](elseif: $place is "fair")[(link: "I drove to the fairground")[(goto: $place)]]] (else:)[(linkgoto: "I didn't know what to do")] }

I guess I should have been scared or traumatised?(set: $background to "null")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) {(if: $trip's "place3" is "marsh")[but as I drove away from the marsh, I wasn't thinking about calling the tabloids] (elseif: $trip's "place3" is "camping")[but as I drove away from the caravan site, I wasn't thinking about calling the tabloids] (if: $trip's "place3" is "fair")[but as I drove away from the fairground, I wasn't thinking about calling the tabloids]} {(if: $trip's "thing3" is "icecream")[I was thinking about how annoyed I was that a fat ghost had just spoiled my ice cream] (elseif: $trip's "thing3" is "ashes")[I was thinking about how a skeleton-looking ghost dude had intruded on my ash scattering] (if: $trip's "thing3" is "poem")[I was thinking about how this muttering spirit had spoiled my moment with the poem]} I was frustrated and embarrassed I still hadn't experienced grief or catharsis [[the trip had been a failure]]

(set: $person to "dog walker")(set: $background to "marshes")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)nothing spooky happened on the drive there wasn't a lot of daylight left by the time I parked up (if: $thing is "ashes")[I took both tubs of ashes from the back of the car and put them in a plastic bag](elseif: $thing is "icecream")[a solitary ice cream van idled in the car park](elseif: $thing is "poem")[I checked the tiny book was in my pocket and zipped up my coat] the path along the levee was straight and flat I cast a long shadow over pools of salt water to either side we used to walk here when I was a kid I hurried along beside my grandfather, taking three steps to every one of his the light faded into a hard gloam (if: $thing is "poem")[(link: "I found a quiet spot with a bench, looking out onto an expanse of reeds")[(goto: "poem")]](if: $thing is "icecream")[(link: "I caught the icecream man just as he was closing up shop")[(goto: "icecream")]](if: $thing is "ashes")[(link: "at the end of the promontory, out towards the ocean, I stopped")[(goto: "ashes")]]

(set: $night_passed to true)(set: $person to "bloke with a torch")(set: $background to "campsite")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)nobody had been to the caravan for years all its neighbours had neat little patios and snazzy little barbecues, but mine (it was mine, I guess) looked ramshackle and neglected next to all the cheery tents weeds pushed up through the steps the propane tank was empty so I couldn't make tea, but I found the lawn chairs and and the trestle table and unpacked my picnic wine, crisps champion and I wound up the electric lantern and read my book for a couple of hours as it darkened people came and went (if: $thing is "poem")[(link: "I waited until it was quiet, then took the little book from my pocket")[(goto: "poem")]](if: $thing is "icecream")[(link: "I caught the icecream man just as he was closing up shop")[(goto: "icecream")]](if: $thing is "ashes")[(link: "later, I climbed the hill that looked down towards the sea to scatter the ashes")[(goto: "ashes")]]

(set: $person to "homeless person")(set: $background to "fairground")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)there weren't a lot of people around who didn't work there it sat right on the seafront, all turquoise paint and coloured lightbulbs it was quiet - just the creaky sound of rides doing their thing, and hair metal through a tannoy(if: $thing is "ashes")[ I carried the two tubs of ashes in a plastic bag] [[I got my fortune done]] [[I did some rides]]

(set: $scattered to 0)I didn't want to say anything I didn't even want to make too big a deal of it just the ashes of two people I wanted to shake them out, and watch the wind make a dark cloud dissipate across the water as I opened the first tub of ashes, the breeze died I stood there, tub in hand still air [[I waited for the breeze to come back]] [[I didn't wait]]

[Cargoes, by John Masefield]<ghost| Quinquireme of Nineveh from distant Ophir []<end|{ (clickreplace: "Ophir")[Ophir, Rowing home to haven in sunny Palestine] (clickreplace: "Palestine")[Palestine, With a cargo of ivory, []<ghost2| And apes and peacocks] (clickreplace: "peacocks")[peacocks, Sandalwood, cedarwood, and sweet white wine (replace: ?ghost)[a figure was stood nearby, listening]] (clickreplace: "wine")[wine. (replace: ?ghost)[how long had he been there? I thought I was alone] []<ghost3| Stately Spanish galleon coming from the Isthmus, Dipping through the Tropics by the palm-green shores(replace: ?ghost)[I saw its lips moving, muttering](replace: ?ghost2)[<i>...what are they talking about?</i>]] (clickreplace: "shores")[shores,(replace: ?ghost2)[<i>... silly, you're being</i>](replace: ?ghost)[it was the thin ghost] With a cargo of diamonds, (replace: ?ghost3)[<i>... it's stupid</i>] Emeralds, amythysts(replace: ?end)[(linkgoto: "stop reading?")]] (clickreplace: "amythysts")[amythysts, []<ghost4| Topazes, and cinnamon, and gold moidores(replace: ?ghost)[a bird flew through him]] (clickreplace: "moidores")[moidores. (replace: ?ghost2)[<i>... what's a moidore anyway?</i>](replace: ?ghost4)[<i>... antisocial</i>](replace: ?ghost)[its skin stretched tight over its bones] Dirty British coaster] (clickreplace: "coaster")[coaster with a salt-caked smoke stack(replace: ?ghost3)[<i>... what are they saying?</i>]] (clickreplace: "stack")[,(replace: ?ghost2)[<i>... are they mad?</i>](replace: ?ghost4)[<i>... who is it?</i>](replace: ?ghost3)[<i>... what a lot of old nonsense</i>] Butting through the Channel in the mad March days(replace: ?ghost)[I couldn't focus on the poem]] (clickreplace: "days")[days,(replace: ?ghost)[he came closer] With a cargo of Tyne coal []<ghost5|(replace: ?ghost2)[<i>... what does it mean?</i>]](replace: ?ghost4)[<i>... oh, I don't understand it</i>] (clickreplace: "coal")[coal,(replace: ?ghost)[he came closer and closer](replace: ?ghost3)[<i>... young people</i>] Road-rails] (clickreplace: "Road-rails")[Road-rails, pig-lead (replace: ?ghost)[he came closer and closer and closer]] (clickreplace: "pig-lead")[pig-lead,(replace: ?ghost4)[<i>... hipsters</i>](replace: ?ghost)[his mouth gaped and he gasped like he couldn't breathe] Firewood](clickreplace: "Firewood")[Firewood, iron-ware(replace: ?ghost)[I could see the sun setting through the back of his skull](replace: ?ghost2)[<i>... it's a bloody</i>](replace: ?ghost3)[<i>... disgrace</i>](replace: ?ghost4)[<i>... is what</i>](replace: ?ghost5)[<i>... it is</i>]](clickreplace: "iron-ware")[iron-ware, and cheap tin trays. (replace: ?ghost)[Cargoes, by John Masefield](replace: ?ghost2)[](replace: ?ghost3)[](replace: ?ghost4)[](replace: ?ghost5)[](replace: ?end)[(linkgoto: "but I finished the poem")]] }<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('poem')</script>

I got mint choc chip ice cream and sat down to eat it [[and I was only a few licks in before someone sat soundlessly down on the bench beside me]]

I shut the book and took a step away, nervously(set: $ghost to "thin") the ghost looked at me <i>... uh, you</i> it frowned <i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i> then it vanished [[that was a waste of time]]<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('tw-passage')</script>

the ghost leered towards me <i>... we used to know all about that, didn't we?</i> he frowned <i>... (display: "thin ghost long")</i> he bit his lip and he looked away a moment later, he looked up, an expression of surprise plastered across his face <i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i>(set: $ghost to "thin") then he vanished [[that was a waste of time]]<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('tw-passage')</script>

(either: "I don’t like it","the yellow ones look like medicine","but I know this city!","we spent christmas in panama","tess helps me out around the house a little","I don’t know why joy and chloe don’t answer the phone","no, I’m fine. I feel fine","it’s just common sense, though","do they like me?","where’s your mother?","well, I lost cheeto, and that’s been hard","they won’t let you have a gin and tonic in hospital","nobody wants me around","I saw phil taylor hanging round here once","phil the power taylor!","one hundred and eighty!","why are you going through my things","stop! I put it there for a reason!","I have bacon and eggs in the fridge")

(either: "I’m here because you","once I","this is where I","last time we were all together, we","remember when we","it was raining that day we","when we were here last time they","the old boys on the shore, they") (either: "got twenty six and thirty nine from the big place on the corner","buried the dog","lost her","told me she was dead","told me she’s had an accident","tried to make me take those nasty yellow pills","wouldn’t stop talking about what the doctor said","stopped my car and they told me I wasn’t allowed to drive any more, which was nonsense, because I could see it perfectly well","couldn’t get anybody to answer the phone","were very lonely","wondered where everyone had gone") (either: "and I just felt very lonely","and it was a hard year really","and we all got soaking wet","and he walked into a glass door","but they just weren’t making sense out of it","with the boys","but they left me all by myself","but you… wait, why did...","and then we watched the darts","because they really knew how to do it back then","and things were never the same after that","but it can be very hard sometimes")

it was supposed to be, like... like a eulogy but it was ruined I looked down at the tiny book in my hand a poem how stupid what was I thinking (set: $ghost to "") [[I put it back in my bag]]

a $person was looking at me, an eyebrow raised "you alright?" [["I'm trying to have a moment, here"]] [["I think I need to talk to someone"]] [["did you just see a ghost?"]] [[I didn't reply]]

"oop! sorry" he walked on I felt like a mug this wasn't the right emotion I was feeling frustrated and embarassed, when I was supposed to be feeling pure and purged (if: $place is "camping")[I got into the bed in the caravan and had a shitty night's sleep I had a lot of dreams that night I slept until late the next day](else:)[I walked back to the car] (display: "update trip")

"right you are," he said "you should do that" he walked on I felt like a mug this wasn't the right emotion I was feeling frustrated and embarassed, when I was supposed to be feeling pure and purged (if: $place is "camping")[I got into the bed in the caravan and had a shitty night's sleep I had a lot of dreams that night I slept until late the next day](else:)[I walked back to the car] (display: "update trip")

"mind how you go, there" he said, and then he walked on I felt like a mug this wasn't the right emotion I was feeling frustrated and embarassed, when I was supposed to be feeling pure and purged (if: $place is "camping")[I got into the bed in the caravan and had a shitty night's sleep I had a lot of dreams that night I slept until late the next day](else:)[I walked back to the car] (display: "update trip")

"you sure you're alright? have you hit your head?" "so you didn't?" "no, no I didn't" a bird cawed, somewhere "you keep safe now" he walked on I felt like a mug this wasn't the right emotion I was feeling frustrated and embarassed, when I was supposed to be feeling pure and purged (if: $place is "camping")[I got into the bed in the caravan and had a shitty night's sleep I had a lot of dreams that night I slept until late the next day](else:)[I walked back to the car] (display: "update trip")

it was time to read this poem, then hopefully I'd get something out of the cadence, the dramatic moment my voice sounded thin and reedy in the wind [[ahem|poem2]]

{ (display: "deform") (display: "deform") (if: (either: true, false))[(display: "deform")] (if: (either: true, false))[(display: "deform")] (if: (either: true, false))[(display: "deform")] (display: "gap deform") }$word

{(set: $foo to $word's length) (set: $pos to (either: ...(range: 1, $foo-1))) (set: $letter to $word's $pos) (set: $word to $word's (range: 1, $pos) + $letter + $word's (range: $pos+1, $foo))}

{(set: $foo to $word's length) (set: $pos to (either: ...(range: 1, $foo-1))) (set: $word to $word's (range: 1, $pos) + " " + $word's (range: $pos+1, $foo))}

a minute passed, but the air didn't move it seemed to grow warm and clammy from behind me, a griding sound [[I kept waiting]] [[I scattered the ashes|I didn't wait]]

I tried to propel the ashes as far as I could through the air some of them got as far as the hedgerow but most of them just landed on the path a pile of grit (set: $scattered to it + 1) [[I reached for the other tub]] [[fuck this]]

(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to "disappointing")<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>](set: $ghost to "skeleton") (live: 3s)[(linkgoto: "the breeze picked up again")]

for minutes, nothing [[I put the lid back on the tub]] [[I gave in and scattered them|I didn't wait]]

the grinding noise stopped I picked up my plastic bag and turned behind me stood the skeleton ghost(set: $ghost to "skeleton") [[it cocked its head|ashes2]]

the skeleton reached out its arm, offering me the bag that contained the other tub of ashes (if: not ($scattered is 0))[I didn't know whose ashes I'd scattered already ](else:)[I didn't know whose ashes I was holding ]couldn't think about that plastic tubs the skeleton stood, arm outstreched, creaking quietly [[I took the bag]] [[I got out of there]]

I turned to get the other tub from the bag where I'd left it, just behind me [[something had picked up the bag]]

frustrated, I turned to go I was going to do the other tub another day [[something had picked up the bag]]

behind me stood the skeleton ghost(set: $ghost to "skeleton") [[it cocked its head|ashes2]]

(set: $scattered to it + 1)I didn't want to make too big a deal of it I took the bag from the skeleton's hand felt its dusty bones on my fingers the breeze picked up (if: $scattered is 1)[(set: $scattered to 2)(link: "I scattered both tubs")[(goto: "I scattered the other tub")]](else:)[(linkgoto: "I scattered the other tub")]

I dropped the tub and turned and ran left the bag, left the other tub, left it all skeleton standing there, turning its head slowly towards me as I sprinted back down the causeway just booked it back to safety (if: $place is "camping")[(linkgoto: "the caravan was quiet when I got back to it")](else:)[(linkgoto: "the car was quiet when I got back to it")]

quickly, I opened the second tub and tipped it into the wind the ashes whipped away a moment passed and I couldn't see a trace the skeleton had vanished when I turned back (if: $place is "camping")[(linkgoto: "the caravan was quiet when I got back to it")](else:)[(linkgoto: "the car was quiet when I got back to it")]

nobody sitting in the back seat just chill (if: $scattered is 2)[I'd managed to scatter both of their ashes, so that was something but it didn't feel right](elseif: $scattered is 1)[I'd scattered one set of ashes on to the path, and left the other with a ghost fuck ah well it's just a tub of ashes they say most of it is just coffin and whoever else was in the oven that day, anyway](else:)[I should have been upset about the ghost or whatever, but all I could think was wow, I just left the ashes there in the dark, on the path, in tubs with a ghost] what I hadn't done - thought about them, shed a tear, felt catharsis what I had done - contended with a skeleton [[ugh]](set: $ghost to "")

I bashed the steering wheel, then turned the engine on all through the journey, I kept looking at the back seat in the mirror, but there was no more sign of the ghosts (display: "update trip")

(if: $scattered is 2)[I'd managed to scatter both of their ashes, so that was something but it didn't feel right](elseif: $scattered is 1)[I'd scattered one set of ashes on to the path, and left the other with a ghost fuck ah well it's just a tub of ashes they say most of it is just coffin and whoever else was in the oven that day, anyway](else:)[I should have been upset about the ghost or whatever, but all I could think was wow, I just left the ashes there in the dark, on the path, in tubs with a ghost] what I hadn't done - thought about them, shed a tear, felt catharsis what I had done - contended with a skeleton [[I was in a shitty mood when I woke up the next morning|ugh]](set: $ghost to "")

(set: $fortune to true)the fortune teller had a cool little misty tent that smelled of incense she was sitting outside it on a box wearing a big hoodie with an oversize deck of tarot cards in her hand she was about my age "hey" she said "hey" "what do you need?" "can I get my fortune read?" she thought about it for a little while "hey, would you rather go on the roller coaster instead?" [[sure]] [[why?]] [[nah]]

{(set: $fortune to false) (set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "[[the fair was starting to close up]]") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random:2,4)) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "I did some rides CONTENT")}

(set: $puke to true)so we went outside and sat together in a little car and did two laps of The Weird Worm she knew the guy controlling it so we didn't even have to pay she seemed to really enjoy it I think she was high afterwards, she was sick in a bucket "mate," she said between heaves, "you've got a problem with some real sad ghosts" "what?" "yeah, that's what I reckon" I wanted to ask her more but she kept throwing up after a minute, she took the little bucket back to her tent and closed the flap [[the fair was starting to close up]]

"dunno, just thought it might be fun" "you thought it might be fun?" "yeah, if you want" she paused "we could go together" [[OK|sure]] [[no, I think I need to know my fortune|nah]]

she shrugged(set: $paid to true) "suit yourself" she shuffled a deck of cards and dealt out three "past" - king of pentacles, inverted "present" - hanged man "future" - death I looked at the cards and stammered out "what" "mate, you've got a ghost problem" I stood there with my mouth open she laughed "nah, I'm just messing with you" "what do you mean?" "I rigged it, mate, I do that to everyone" "you..." "and anyway, don't worry, death doesn't really mean death in tarot cards, I thought everyone knew that" [[I paid her a fiver and left]] (link: "I didn't pay her a damn thing")[(set: $paid to false)(goto: "the fair was starting to close up")]

didn't want a pissed off fortune teller on my list of problems too I was super freaked out that she mentioned the ghosts it meant they weren't just in my head, I guess [[the fair was starting to close up]]

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }the weird worm mega waltzer little boating lake shoot the shoe ghost train []<output|{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "the weird worm")[(set: $text to "dinky little roller coaster, faster than it looks")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "mega waltzer")[(set: $text to "spent most of the ride looking at airbrushed scenes from star wars episode 2")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "little boating lake")[(set: $text to "basically a jumped-up paddling pool you feel a bit silly as an adult in one of those things")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "shoot the shoe")[(set: $text to "it's surprisingly difficult to shoot the shoe")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "ghost train")[(set: $text to "fuck no I wasn't going on the ghost train")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]] ]}

unseen people closed shutters the lamps went on (if: $thing is "poem")[(link: "I sat on a bench then took the little book from my pocket")[(goto: "poem")]](if: $thing is "icecream")[(link: "I caught the icecream man just as he was closing up shop")[(goto: "icecream")]](if: $thing is "ashes")[I walked out of the fair and took a path around to the seafront a row of hard box-hedges formed a border (link: "just beyond them, the tide was high")[(goto: "ashes")]]

god damn it I was trying to have a moment this was supposed to be a chance for me to think about how things used to be but the ghost shuffled closer and kept talking <i>... and so Marilyn Ricketts got to serve it to Princess Ann, and it all happened right over there</i> as it pointed across me, ghostly flakes of ash fell on the ice cream and seemed to stay there [[bin the ice cream]] [[keep eating|ke2]]

so I got up and walked away as quickly as I could, which seemed like the sensible thing to do I got nothing out of that moment didn't even get to eat the ice cream it fell out of its cone(set: $ghost to "") [[I was alone again]]

I got up and walked away and tossed the ice cream into an empty bin where it made a thunk noise and didn't break my stride(set: $ghost to "") what are the rules of engagement with ghosts? are they dangerous? why weren't they letting me enjoy my holiday? he didn't get up off the bench [[I was alone again]]

so I kept eating and eventually I got so pissed off I shouted at him "just fuck off, would you?" the ghost didn't seem to hear me and he kept pointing at nothing and wittering on about how sharp Captain Mark Ricketts had looked and how he could have gotten any woman he wanted so he got himself a princess, and he got ghost ash, which is pretty much the same as normal ash, all over me but I fucking finished that ice cream and then he sort of faded out without even breaking off monologue [[I was alone again]]

stupid, anyway(set: $ghost to "") I don't know why getting a mint choc chip ice cream had felt like such a big deal (if: $place is "camping")[I got into the bed in the caravan and had a shitty night's sleep I had a lot of dreams that night I slept until late the next day](else:)[I walked back to the car] (display: "update trip")

so as I was driving out of Dimchurch I spotted a fortune teller's shop the windows were hung with purple drapes and there was a sign that said 'palm readings five pounds, esoteric advice ten pounds' and then a smaller sign saying 'help wanted' (if: $fortune is true)[the fortune teller from the fairground was sitting outside on a plastic chair as I drove past, she dropped a box of popcorn and jumped to her feet, waving with both hands I stopped the car she beckoned me inside](else:)[I pulled up the car I figured fortune tellers, they know about magic and shit, right? so maybe a fortune teller could get rid of my ghost problem](if: $puke is true)[ she was still looking pretty peaky her face was white] [[I went in]]

the room was pretty dark and cluttered with skulls and crystal balls and magical junk(set: $background to "fortunetellersshop")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) (if: $fortune is true)["hey" she said "sorry about earlier" she paused(if: $paid is false and not ($puke is true))[ "I really dig that you stormed out of my tent without paying earlier - that takes gumption and I respect it" "huh"] "this is my normal shop, by the way - I'm just part time at the fairground" a little dog padded in and sat on the table "I think I freaked you out a little, but you're legit being haunted, dude"(if: $puke is true)[ "are you feeling better?" I asked "I was tripping pretty hard on a cactus, if I'm honest" seemed reasonable]](else:)[a woman in a huge hoodie sat behind a table with a hand on it "so..." I waited for her to say something else a little dog padded in and sat on the table "can I help you?"] [["so I bought a car with ghosts in"]] [["so I've had a rough couple of weeks"]] [["so, what's your name?"]]

"oh, you got ghosts? dude, what a pain" "it's more than just a pain" "really? I mean, ghosts are bad, like a stone in your shoe or whatever is bad, but it's not like... <i>bad</i> bad" "it's upsetting me" "well, it shouldn't, unless you've got some other shit going on in your life" [["I'd really rather talk about the ghosts"]] [["well, there is some other stuff going on with me..."]]

"oh, god, tell me about it" "you had it rough too?" "yeah, 2018's been hard on fortune tellers in small towns" she produced a joint from somewhere and lit it "can I actually help you with anything specific?" "I..." [[and then I just started talking|"well, there is some other stuff going on with me..."]]

she told me her name "that's a nice name," I said, "but I think I'll always just think of you as the fortune teller" "fair" she paused "so what's up?" [["ghost problems"|"so I bought a car with ghosts in"]] [["personal problems"|"so I've had a rough couple of weeks"]]

"well, alright, but talking about ghosts isn't going to shift 'em - are you doing anything to try and get rid of them?" "I don't even know where to start" "well, what have you been doing recently?" "well, I've been trying to... wait, you keep trying to change the subject away from the ghosts" "haha yeah, ghosts are boring" [["what should I do?"]]

so I told her about the last couple of months, about the house, the sickness, the long waits, the hospital food, the long drives in rented cars, the phone call from the hospice, the swiss doctor, the small book of poems, the black plastic bin bag ratio, the weird little gold charm I found under the dresser, the second tub of ashes buried deep in the crawlspace, the toaster I bought them ten years ago rusting in the garage, escrow, the weird stained glass window in the crematorium that was all I could focus on during the funeral, the typo in the handout, the empty pews, the car, the fact I've only got eight days of compassionate leave left, the ghosts, the (print: $trip's "place1"), the (print: $trip's "thing1"), the (print: $trip's "place2"), the (print: $trip's "thing2"), the (print: $trip's "place3"), the (print: $trip's "thing3"), the fat ghost, the thin ghost, and the skeleton dude she was like "heavy" [["what should I do?"]]

so that was something(set: $background to "null")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) that night, I kind of slept ok [[and then there were only seven days of compassionate leave left, and I had to look for clues about the former owner of my car, so I could find a way to exorcise their ghosts from it]]

"well it's plain to see that you're not gonna chill out until you get these ghosts out of your car, which is, like, a big preoccupation for you right now" "how?" "well, do some kind of ritual?" "what kind of thing?" "it depends - do you know whose ghost it is?" "it's three ghosts" "yeah, nah, they're all gonna be the ghost of the same person, but just, like, different aspects" I figured I'd just accept that "so you need to figure out who it is - who used to own that car?" "no idea" "well, maybe start by trying to find that out" "ok, that sounds like something I can do" "to be honest, I'm not really that interested in the ghosts, but I find you interesting, so if you come back in a couple days I'll see if I can help you" "can't you help me now?" "nah mate I'm tripping hard over here, I need to put on dub side and just take a bath on the roof or something" [[so I drove home]]

act 2 [[a car is something that brings you to faraway places]]

(set: $clues to (a:"seller", "fortune"))(set: $day to 1)(set: $cleanedcar to 0)(set: $book to false)(set: $net to false)so I started the next day with a real sense of get-up-and-go it lasted about fifteen minutes (display: "remaining") [[where was I going to start?|day options]]

after that I sat on the front of the car and had a good cry I mostly cried for steve, I guess, but I think I also cried a bit for myself, and for the fortune teller, (if: $clues contains "housevisited")[and carol, ](if: $clues contains "allotmentvisited")[and the guy at the allotment, ]and also sort of just for everybody because it had been a really, really shitty couple of months [[and then...]]

and I was a couple of miles south of oban when I realised that even though the car was clean now, those furry dice were still hanging on the mirror(set: $background to "car")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) [[I took down the furry dice]] [[eh, let it stay]]

I took them down and threw them out of the window, and then next time I checked the mirror they were right back there again, obviously and in the reflection, steve and steve and steve caught my eye and I listened to them chattering away all the way back home sometimes they were noisy sometimes they were quiet they're still there now [[epilogue]]

and next time I checked the mirror, I saw that the ghosts were sitting quietly in the back I put on xo by elliott smith and just dealt with it none of them tried to change the music we all drove home together [[epilogue]]

my phone rang and it was the fortune teller(set: $background to "null")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) "so did you sort out your problem?" [[I think so]] [[no, still got ghosts]] [[I don't think it's something you can solve]]

I opened the tub and the wind died(set: $ghost to "skeleton") I turned around and glared at the skeleton (live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to "oops")<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>] [[and a really fucking good wind blew up]]

(if: $scattered is 2)[I shook out the tub and fine grey particles misted out of it and carried off towards the sea](if: $scattered is 1)[I shook out the tub and fine grey particles misted out of it and carried off towards the sea then I picked up the other tub and did the same](if: $scattered is 0)[I shook out the tub and fine grey particles misted out of it and carried off towards the sea then I picked up the second tub and did the same and then the third] and a few moments later, I was all alone on the beach the ghosts had vanished I didn't really know anyone else in the world I looked around at the car, and then back at the sea the last traces of ash drifted on the wind and were gone [[it was done]](set: $ghost to "")

(set: $background to "benbecula")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)benbecula is just one long straight road on either side there isn't much that isn't sea just a lot of puddles and pools and then the atlantic I drove off the road and down a little track to a beach some seals were chilling out but they flopped back down into the sea when they saw me coming and I got out of the car and so did the ghosts (if: $fat_ghost_pleased is true)[the fat ghost stood facing the wind with a blob of something in his hand](else:)[the fat ghost looked down at his feet and shuffled away] (if: $thin_ghost_pleased is true)[the thin ghost winked at me and moved his mouth wordlessly](else:)[the thin ghost crawled on all fours behind the car] (if: $skeleton_ghost_pleased is true)[the skeleton ghost stood happily on the seafront holding an empty plastic bag in a tight fist](else:)[the skeleton ghost made a low groaning noise] [[I went to the fat ghost]] [[I went to the thin ghost]] [[I went to the skeleton ghost]]

(if: $fat_ghost_pleased is true)[<i>... it's for you</i> he was holding a scoop of ice cream in his hand mint choc chip he offered it to me it wasn't melting because I guess ghosts are cold I let him hang on to it gave me an idea, though, seeing as he was preoccupied](else:)[<i>... well, I</i> he was speechless for once but seeing as the ghosts were all preoccupied...] (linkgoto: "I tidied out the car")(set: $ghost to "fat")

(if: $thin_ghost_pleased)[he was creeping along the ground with a handful of cigarette butts in his hand as I looked, he opened the driver's door and reached to drop them into the cup holder "oy" I said he looked at me, started, then backed away bashfully](else:)[he rocked backwards and forwards on his heels] <i>... (display: "thin ghost long") ... (display: "thin ghost short") ... (display: "thin ghost long")</i> he seemed placid now was maybe the time (linkgoto: "I tidied out the car")(set: $ghost to "thin")

(if: $skeleton_ghost_pleased is true)[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to "yes yes good fine")<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>]](else:)[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to "drat all of it")<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>]] (live: 3s)[they all looked relaxed I wondered if now might be a good time to slip one past them (linkgoto: "I tidied out the car")](set: $ghost to "skeleton")

trying not to make a big deal out of it, I started putting stuff in bin bags again(set: $ghost to "") {(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "[[I heard something thunk into the back]]") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random:2,3)) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (linkgoto: "I couldn't believe I'd been driving around in something so filthy")}

10 days left - intro 9 days left - trip 8 days left - trip 7 days left - outing 6 days left - outing 5 days left - outing 4 days left - outing 3 - head to benbecula: if you didn't visit the fortune teller or find out about benbecula, what then? 2 - story ends 1 - story is over

I opened the boot (if: $scattered is 0)[(live: 3s)[three plastic tubs of ashes(stop:)] (live: 6s)[two I recognised, one I didn't(stop:)] (live: 9s)[I thought I left them behind when I ran from the skeleton ghost that first time(stop:)] (live: 12s)[I guess he saved them(stop:)] (live: 15s)[the new one was older, dusty, orange(stop:)] (live: 18s)[(linkgoto:"a peeling sticker on the side said steve")(stop:)]](elseif: $scattered is 1)[(live: 3s)[two plastic tubs of ashes(stop:)] (live: 6s)[one I recognised - it was the one I thought I hadn't managed to scatter(stop:)] (live: 9s)[I guess the skeleton ghost had saved it(stop:)] (live: 12s)[the other one I didn't recognise(stop:)] (live: 15s)[(linkgoto:"a peeling sticker on the side said steve")(stop:)]](else:)[(live: 3s)[a plastic tub of ashes, all by itself(stop:)] (live: 6s)[I didn't recognise it(stop:)] (live: 9s)[(linkgoto:"a peeling sticker on the side said steve")(stop:)]]

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }cigarette butts in the cupholder receipts and newspapers in the door pockets takeaway bags rotting in the passenger footwell glove compartment choked with sweet wrappers furry dice on the mirror []<output|{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "cigarette butts in the cupholder")[(set: $text to "they'd all caked together so they came out quite neatly")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "receipts and newspapers in the door pockets")[(set: $text to "actually fewer than I'd thought")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "takeaway bags rotting in the passenger footwell")[(set: $text to "when I pulled all the bags out, the footwell itself was spotless all the grease and foulness stayed in the bags")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "glove compartment choked with sweet wrappers")[(set: $text to "right at the back was an unopened packet of bassets fruit allsorts I used to love them before they got discontinued now I'm saving them for when I'm on a date or something")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "furry dice on the mirror")[(set: $text to "I took them down and put them in my bag, thinking I'd ceremonially burn them later")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]]]}

(if: $scattered < 2)[I took the tubs and carried them down onto the beach I decided I'd do steve's one first](else:)[I took the orange tub round to the front of the car, down to the beach] I walked right down to the surf [[I unscrewed the lid]]

[[seemed pretty obvious what they wanted me to do with it|scattering]]

"nice" [["how are you getting on?"]]

"yeah mate they're never going away" "but I was trying to get rid of them" "no, you were trying to grow as a person or some bullshit that I can't remember" "I was trying to process grief" "yeah, that was it - did it happen?" "I guess so" "then mission accomplished" [["how are you getting on?"]]

"yeah, that's the right idea" [["how are you getting on?"]]

"yeah, alright, business is slow, but I'm using my powers to predict who's gonna win football matches and making small bets, so I've got beer money" "that's ridiculous" (if: $benbecula_plan is true)["well, you've got a ghost problem, so whatever"](else:)["well, you've got a ghost problem and you couldn't even work out one simple thing about a remote scottish island and you have to resort to asking a cool but somehow distant psychic to help you out, so there"] [["will they ever go away?"]] [["would you like to hang out some time?"]]

"probably? probably not? I don't know" "is there anything you <i>do</i> know?" "I know one thing, but you're not gonna like it" "tell me" "well, the ghosts... they probably don't know what's going on" "huh?" "like, they probably don't understand anything happening, or anything you said to them, or anything" "but I made a big symbolic gesture! I scattered his ashes!" "they blatantly didn't have a fucking clue that was what you were doing" "that doesn't make sense - I was trying hard to get rid of them, and sometimes I said the right thing and they were happy, and sometimes I said the wrong thing and they were sad, and that seemed to make a difference" "yeah no what I'm saying is that was probably just random, from their point of view, and it's probably a mistake to ascribe too much cause and effect to it" [["so why did I do all that?"]]

"haha woah" "is that a yes?" she laughed and hung up [[the end]]

"well, did you feel like you were making sense of things?" "I guess?" "and how did that make you feel? actually, don't answer that" "so what now?" "well from my point of view, I'm pretty bored of talking about ghosts and I was never very interested with them to begin with" "so why did you help me?" "I was more interested in you than in your ghost problem, I said that all along" "well, thanks" "you're welcome, or whatever" "so, what now?" [[the end]]

that morning, I... (if: $cleanedcar is 1)[(link: "tried to get even more clues out of the car")[(goto: "tried to clean the car again")] ](if: $cleanedcar is 0)[(linkgoto: "tried to clean the car again") ](if: $clues contains "seller")[(linkgoto: "phoned up the woman who sold me the car") ](if: $clues contains "hospital")[(linkgoto: "phoned up the hospital he'd had letters from") ](if: $book is false and $day > 3)[(linkgoto: "read the little book of poems") ](if: $net is false and $day > 3)[(linkgoto: "researched ghosts on the internet") ](if: $clues contains "fortune" and $day is not 1)[(linkgoto: "phoned up the fortune teller") ](elseif: $clues contains "fortune")[I figured the fortune teller was still tripping, so I didn't call her that day ](if: $cleanedcar is 2)[ I couldn't face trying to clean the car again ]

{(if: $day is 1)[I had seven days' compassionate leave left](elseif: $day is 2)[I had six days' compassionate leave left and it felt like the only thing that mattered in the world was sorting out the ghosts](elseif: $day is 3)[I had five days' compassionate leave left and I had some ideas](elseif: $day is 4)[I had four days' compassionate leave left but today felt different - I felt like this was my last chance to really make sense of something - something was going to happen soon]}

(set: $background to "null")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)(set: $ghost to "")(set: $day to it + 1)(if: $day is not 5)[(display: "morning thoughts") (display: "remaining") [[I carried on|day options]] ](else:)[that morning felt powerful and rich with promise [[my phone rang]] ]

act 3 [[a car is something you take with you everywhere you go]]

it's a long long way from kent to the outer hebridies(set: $background to "car")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) it got hot the car stank, and every time I looked in the mirror, I saw the ghosts glaring at me it was like they were annoyed that we had to go such a long way they were bored and restless I kept expecting them to ask if we were there yet [[and then the fat ghost moved into the passenger seat]]

(either: "I didn't dream of anything", "I dreamed of the thin ghost strapped to a hospital gurney", "I dreamed of the fat ghost yelling at a tiny yellow television", "I dreamed of the fat ghost trying to start the car", "I dreamed of the thin ghost looking out of the window of a magnolia sitting room for hours", "I dreamed of the skeleton ghost hovering over a flat in a distant city", "I dreamed of the skeleton ghost gazing at a strip light on a ceiling", "I dreamed of the fat ghost slowly shrivelling", "I dreamed of the ghosts standing by a grave where I knew a dog was buried", "I dreamed of the thin ghost in a room full of silent telephones") (either: "I awoke with a smell of crispy duck in my nostrils", "I woke up with a taste of cigarettes", "I woke up feeling like someone had been in the bed next to me", "I woke up with a grubby feeling in my mouth", "I woke up suddenly, thinking I heard the car start, but nobody was anywhere around", "I woke up ravenously hungry", "I woke up and for a few minutes I couldn't remember my name", "I woke up thirsty", "I woke up on the floor")

(set: $clues to it - (a: "fortune"))(set: $clues to it + (a: "teller"))"hey, it's the person with the haunted car problem" "yes, I knew you'd call" "do you say that to everyone you answer the phone to?" "yeah, and it's always true" "so I'm still trying to solve my ghost problem" "well I don't like long-ass phone calls so if you wanna talk about it come by my shop some time" "sure, ok" "by the way, do you realise you're on a time limit?" "yeah, I've only got (print:(string:8 - $day)) days left before I go back to work" "nah, you've got less time than that to get this all sorted, because the trip is gonna take a couple of days" "what trip?" "the trip you've got to take" (if: $day is 4)["well shit, I really don't have much time left at all" "haha no" "where do I go?" "come talk about it in person, if you want"](else:)["where am I supposed to go?" "dunno, this is boring, let's talk about it in person" "today?" "whenever, pal"] (linkgoto: "later that day, I got in the car")

{(set: $background to "car")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)(set: $litmus to (a:"restaurant", "house", "teller", "pub", "margate", "allotment") - $clues)}(if: $day > 2 and not ($clues contains "restaurant") and not ($clues contains "restaurantvisited"))[as I sat behind the wheel, I realised that I recognised the logo on the bags in the footwell it had been nagging me for days, but so had loads of other stuff, so I hadn't realised it was a place in town that I'd walked past dozens of times maybe they'd know something about the ghosts there? maybe that would be a waste of time? I don't know(set: $clues to it + (a:"restaurant"))(set: $cleanedcar to 2) (if: $clues contains "restaurant")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the restaurant where all the bags came from") ](if: $clues contains "house")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the house where the car came from") ](if: $clues contains "teller")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the fortune teller's house") ](if: $clues contains "pub")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the pub where steve used to hang out") ](if: $clues contains "margate")[(linkgoto: "I drove to margate") ](if: $clues contains "allotment")[(linkgoto: "I drove to steve's allotment") ]](elseif: "length" of $litmus is 6)[but I sat there in all the filth and I couldn't think of anywhere to go, so in the end I just got out of the car again [[I went to bed feeling faintly dissatisfied|nextday]]](else:)[(if: $clues contains "restaurant")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the restaurant where all the bags came from") ](if: $clues contains "house")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the house where the car came from") ](if: $clues contains "teller")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the fortune teller's house") ](if: $clues contains "pub")[(linkgoto: "I drove to the pub where steve used to hang out") ](if: $clues contains "margate")[(linkgoto: "I drove to margate") ](if: $clues contains "allotment")[(linkgoto: "I drove to steve's allotment") ]]<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('tw-passage')</script>

(set: $clues to it - (a:"seller"))(set: $clues to it + (a:"house"))"hello, who is this?" "you sold me a ford fiesta a couple of days ago" "oh, right" there was a pause "so you got the ghosts, then?" "yep" "I should say, I thought maybe they wouldn't... I really didn't want them to..." there was a crashing noise in the background "hey, stop that! hey, put that down!" "everything ok?" "naw, it's... we have a bit of a problem over here, but if you want to talk about it, maybe best you come over" she told me the address "I'll think about it" "I'm so sorry, I really thought getting rid of the car would be the end of it... are you mad at me for selling you a haunted car?" [["of course I am"]] [["I would have appreciated a warning"]] [["nah, it's cool"]]

"yeah, I would be in your position too" more crashing sounds came from behind her "look, it'll be easier to explain everything in person. I have to go" (linkgoto: "later that day, I got in the car")

"yeah, but you'd have thought I was a lunatic" more crashing sounds came from behind her "look, it'll be easier to explain everything in person. I have to go" (linkgoto: "later that day, I got in the car")

"you're clearly a very level-headed person" more crashing sounds came from behind her "look, it'll be easier to explain everything in person. I have to go" (linkgoto: "later that day, I got in the car")

{(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to 1000) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "car clean 2")}(set: $background to "car")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }(if: $cleanedcar is 1)[obviously all the filth I took out yesterday had reappeared ]cigarette butts in the cupholder receipts and newspapers in the door pockets takeaway bags rotting in the passenger footwell glove compartment choked with sweet wrappers furry dice on the mirror []<output|{ (if: $a)[(click: "cigarette butts in the cupholder")[(set: $text to "even more than last time, seemed like")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "receipts and newspapers in the door pockets")[(set: $text to "yellowing and stained and awful")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "takeaway bags rotting in the passenger footwell")[(if: $clues contains "learnedrestaurant")[(set: $text to "nothing else to learn from them")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")](else:)[(set: $cleanedcar to it + 1)(set: $text to "all the bags had the same logo on the side - a chinese restaurant, maybe they all had the same food - something in a sweet and sour sauce, and some kind of... bread? maybe they'd know something about him there? he certainly ate there a lot [[later that day, I got in the car]]")(set: $clues to it + (a:"learnedrestaurant"))(set: $clues to it + (a:"restaurant"))(set: $a to false)(set: $b to false)(set: $c to false)(set: $d to false)(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]]] (if: $d)[(click: "glove compartment choked with sweet wrappers")[(set: $text to "just the yellow ones left, for some reason")(set: $d to false)(set: $clues to it + (a:"yellow"))(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "furry dice on the mirror")[(if: $clues contains "learnedmargate")[(set: $text to "nothing else to learn from them")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")](else:)[(set: $cleanedcar to it + 1)(set: $text to "margate maybe I'd learn something about him in margate? [[later that day, I got in the car]]")(set: $clues to it + (a:"learnedmargate"))(set: $clues to it + (a:"margate"))(set: $a to false)(set: $b to false)(set: $c to false)(set: $d to false)(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]]] }

(set: $clues to it - (a:"hospital"))(set: $clues to it + (a:"treatment"))I had to navigate a complex interactive maze in the form of an automated answering machine but eventually I got a through to a guy with a thick estuary accent "hello, this is bleakerton general hospital" "hi, I'm..." I realised I needed a reason to want to know about all this [["a relative of a man called steve wintle"]] [["a person whose car is haunted"]] [["following up on some paperwork"]]

"what would you like to know about your relative?" "well, he died a while ago, and I'm... researching it, and I want to know if he was he ever a patient at your hospital?" "let me check our records... it seems... oh, shit" "what?" "sorry, it's just, this file..." "what's in it?" "it seems like he was diagnosed with cancer, but... refused treatment? oh mate, that's terrible" "so he knew he was dying, and didn't do anything about it?" "it seems that way - his diagnosis notes that the cancer was pretty aggressive, and the doctors advised an immediate chemotherapy program, but he..." the man on the phone started to cry "I'm sorry, I lost a cousin recently and I'm still feeling it... this file's so sad..." "take your time" he took some deep breaths and then told me the whole story in more detail, but the general gist was that steve got his diagnosis following a routine checkup, then ignored it, then died that seemed important [[later that day, I got in the car]]

"yeah, we get a lot of that this time of year - do you know the name of the ghost?" "steve wintle" "let me check our records... it seems... oh, shit" "what?" "sorry, it's just, this file..." "what's in it?" "it seems like he was diagnosed with cancer, but... refused treatment? oh mate, that's terrible" "so he knew he was dying, and didn't do anything about it?" "it seems that way - his diagnosis notes that the cancer was pretty aggressive, and the doctors advised an immediate chemotherapy program, but he..." the man on the phone started to cry "I'm sorry, I lost a cousin recently and I'm still feeling it... this file's so sad..." "take your time" he took some deep breaths and then told me the whole story in more detail, but the general gist was that steve got his diagnosis following a routine checkup, then ignored it, then died that seemed important [[later that day, I got in the car]]

"paperwork? sounds legit" "does it?" "yeah, sure, what do you want to know?" "I'm looking into a former patient of yours called steve wintle" "I'll look his notes up for you" he tapped some keys "well, he died a while ago, and I'm... researching it, and I want to know if he was he ever a patient at your hospital?" "let me check our records... it seems... oh, shit" "what?" "sorry, it's just, this file..." "what's in it?" "it seems like he was diagnosed with cancer, but... refused treatment? oh mate, that's terrible" "so he knew he was dying, and didn't do anything about it?" "it seems that way - his diagnosis notes that the cancer was pretty aggressive, and the doctors advised an immediate chemotherapy program, but he..." the man on the phone started to cry "I'm sorry, I lost a cousin recently and I'm still feeling it... this file's so sad..." "take your time" he took some deep breaths and then told me the whole story in more detail, but the general gist was that steve got his diagnosis following a routine checkup, then ignored it, then died that seemed important [[later that day, I got in the car]]

(set: $book to true)it didn't have anything to do with the ghosts, but I had to take a bit of time for myself [[I turned to a random page]]

(set: $net to true)so obviously that went as well as you'd expect quite a lot of contradictory data about ghosts out there, it turns out not a lot of consensus about ghosts to be had online wasn't really a good story in it either [[later that day, I got in the car]]

(set: $clues to it - (a:"restaurant"))(display: "driving")(set: $clues to it + (a:"restaurantvisited")) as I parked up near the restaurant, they vanished it was late evening the restaurant was a big place on a corner from the look of the bags and the logo and the sweet-and-sour smell, I'd assumed it was a chinese place that wasn't quite right(set: $clues to it + (a: "allotment")) [[in I went]]

(set: $clues to it - (a:"house"))(set: $clues to it + (a:"steve"))it wasn't far(set: $clues to it + (a:"housevisited")) (display: "driving") as I parked up near the house, they did their vanishing trick it was a normal looking two-up-two-down terrace [[I rang the doorbell]]

(set: $clues to it - (a:"teller"))(display: "driving") as I parked up near the shop, they turned into steam a chime above the door jingled as I stepped inside [[it seemed to be deserted, so I had a look around]]

(set: $clues to it - (a:"pub"))(display: "driving") as I parked up near the pub, they piled out of the car into the darkness [[the golden ham]]

(set: $clues to it - (a:"margate"))(set: $clues to it + (a:"margatevisited"))(display: "driving") [[as I got near margate, they sunk into the ground]]

(set: $clues to it - (a:"allotment"))(display: "driving")(set: $clues to it + (a:"allotmentvisited")) as I parked up near the allotment, they eagerly piled out of the car through the closed door [[the gate was open]]

as I drove, they sat in the back seat(set: $encounter to (either: "chat", "chat", "radio")) (if: $encounter is "chat")[(if: $fat_ghost_pleased is true)[the fat ghost (either:"bubbled contentedly", "smiled", "whistled")](else:)[the fat ghost (either:"groaned like someone with indigestion", "kept spitting on the seat-backs", "grumbled quietly the whole way")] (if: $thin_ghost_pleased is false)[the thin ghost (either:"stared around anxiously","tried to keep its hands from trembling","made occasional angry moans")](else:)[the thin ghost (either:"looked vacantly at the ceiling","snored peacefully","hummed an interminable song")] (if: $skeleton_ghost_pleased is false)[the skeleton ghost (either:"ground its teeth together loudly","shivered and chattered","cracked its knuckles over and over again")(set: $val to (either:"urgh", "shame", "bastards", "unbearable"))](else:)[the skeleton ghost (either:"lay still","lolled in its seat","patted the legs of the other two as if to reassure them")(set: $val to (either:"fine", "steady", "look at the boats", "delicious"))]{ (set: $randomghost to (either: "fat", "thin", "skeleton"))} (if: $randomghost is "fat")[at one point, the fat ghost leaned towards me <i>... (if: $fat_ghost_pleased is true)[(either:"I don't know, but you know, I used to drive down this way a lot when I wanted to look at, um, at the big boats, you know, and I thought that... have I told you this before?", "yes jolly good, the old banger, never let me down, unlike some other people I could mention, yes she got into a bit of a state ha but then I don't know I didn't really have anyone to impress and I just didn't care for it if I'm perfectly honest with you, after Cheeto died")](else:)[(either: "it's a pretty rotten business if you ask me, not that anybody does, because, uh, they wouldn't like to know, would they? they wouldn't want to hear it, and I wouldn't want to tell them, the idiots, I hate them", "are we going to see the children? no I suppose not I'm sorry for asking", "gosh when did they change the... why don't they ever stop changing it?")]</i>](elseif: $randomghost is "thin")[at one point, the thin ghost leaned towards me <i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i>](elseif: $randomghost is "skeleton")[at one point, the skeleton ghost leaned towards me (live: 0.3s)[<i>... (set: $word to $val)(display: "skeleton ghost")</i>]]](elseif: $encounter is "radio")[I tried to turn on the radio this provoked an uproar (if: $fat_ghost_pleased is true and (either: true, false) is true)[the skeleton lunged forwards and tried to jab the preset button darts coverage blared from the radio I tried to change it, but the skeleton ghost made a fuss after a few rounds of this, the fat ghost opened the back door and pushed the skeleton out, making a 'you're welcome' face I turned the radio off](elseif: $thin_ghost_pleased is true and (either: true, false) is true)[the fat ghost produced a cd from somewhere and jammed it into the slot desmond dekker blared from the speaker the skeleton ghost ejected it and tried to play its own cd the fat ghost grabbed it off him and started to yell and rock the car things could have gotten worse but the thin ghost grabbed a handful of loose change and jammed it into the slot, buggering the cd player after that, they sulked](elseif: $skeleton_ghost_pleased is true and (either: true, false) is true)[the fat and the thin ghost began to yell at me and grab the back of my seat and paw my hair I turned the radio off in frustration the skeleton leaned over and turned it back on the others looked alarmed and didn't try to overrule it](else:)[(either: "the ghosts only seemed happy with sports coverage or talk radio, and would yell and wobble the car from side to side if I played anything else I tried turning the radio off again but this only increased their frustration they sat there for most of the journey listening to lbc providing a mumbling commentary over the radio host","I couldn't find a station that didn't draw loud noises of derision from the back seat the more stations I tried, the worst the cries became, until I just turned the radio off")]]

{ (set: $output_text to "WHAT THEY SAY AT START OF CONVO") (set: $their_exit to "HOW THEY END IT") (set: $my_exit to "HOW I END IT") (set: $available to $clues) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random: 2,3)) (goto: "conversation content template")}

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }[]<output| (if: $i<$goal and $ended is false)[(if: $available contains "dog")[did he have a dog ](if: $available contains "steve")[he was steve ](if: $available contains "pub")[had a nice pub? ](if: $available contains "ocean")[liked ocean ](if: $available contains "power")[who was power? ]that's all I want to know, thanks] { (click: "did he have a dog")[(set: $text to "word are lame")(set: $choice to "dog")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "he was steve")[(set: $text to "thing are lame")(set: $choice to "steve")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "had a nice pub")[(set: $text to "doop are lame")(set: $choice to "pub")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "liked ocean")[(set: $text to "spode are lame")(set: $choice to "ocean")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "who was power")[(set: $text to "ludo are lame")(set: $choice to "power")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "that's all I want to know, thanks")[(set: $text to $my_exit)(set: $ended to true)(display: "conversation next")] }

{ (if: $i < $goal - 1)[(set: $output_text to $text)](else:)[(set: $output_text to $their_exit)] (set: $discussed to it +(a: (string:$choice))) (set: $available to it - $discussed) (set: $i to it + 1) (goto: $name) }

I ask (if: $ghost is "fat")[$fat_output (if: (either: true, false))[he is pleased, set var to true](else:)[he is upset]]\ (if: $ghost is "thin")[his random thing (if: (either: true, false))[he is pleased, set var to true](else:)[he is upset]]\ (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[$skele_output (if: (either: true, false))[he is pleased, set var to true](else:)[he is upset]] THEN ON TO NEXT BIT

(link:"the fat one")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"ghost conversation init template")] (link:"the thin one")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"ghost conversation init template")] (link:"the skeleton one")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"ghost conversation init template")]

{ (set: $discussed_with_ghosts to it +(a: (string:$choice))) (if: $ended is false)[(goto: $ask_passage)] (else:)[(goto: $flee_passage)] }

{ (if: $ghost is "fat")[(set: $output_text to "WHAT THEY SAY AT START OF CONVO")] (if: $ghost is "thin")[(set: $output_text to "WHAT THEY SAY AT START OF CONVO")] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(set: $output_text to "WHAT THEY SAY AT START OF CONVO")] (set: $flee_passage to "RUN AWAY TEMPLATE") (set: $ask_passage to "ASK TEMPLATE") (set: $available to $clues - $discussed_with_ghosts) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (goto: "ghost conversation content")}

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }[]<output| and I said... (if: $available contains "dog")[I'm sorry your dog died ](if: $available contains "steve")[your name was steve wintle ](if: $available contains "pub")[your local was the golden ham ](if: $available contains "ocean")[you really care about the ocean, huh ](if: $available contains "photo")[I saw a photo of you when you were alive ](if: $available contains "treatment")[nobody can understand why you refused treatment ](if: $available contains "thinplaces")[maybe you need to visit a thin place ](if: $available contains "benbecula")[you always wanted to visit benbecula, but you never did ](if: $available contains "manyghosts")[there are loads of ghosts everywhere ](if: $available contains "yellow")[you don't like yellow candies for some reason ](if: $available contains "power")[darts is dumb ](if: $available contains "estranged")[I'm sorry about what happened with your family ](if: $available contains "margatevisited")[margate is a cool place ](if: $available contains "allotment")[you used to have an allotment ](if: $available contains "restaurant")[chinese food is my favourite too ] I just left{ (click: "I'm sorry your dog died")[(set: $fat_output to "cheeto was so good to me and I worried he was going to outlive me and be lonely but that wasn't a problem in the end, was it? had him since he was a pub and let me tell you this for free, he was so well behaved you could put a steak in his mouth and he wouldn't eat it unless you told him it was ok and he would have loved to be around the kids and it breaks my heart even now")(set: $skele_output to "cheeto loved me")(set: $choice to "dog")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "your name was steve wintle")[(set: $fat_output to "pretty good name, that, if you want to know the truth, never did me wrong, but when she left me she changed it and the kids I think did the same I can't quite remember but wintle is good because it has win in it but it's also not good because it sounds like winkle")(set: $skele_output to "wintle winkle winner")(set: $choice to "steve")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "your local was the golden ham")[(set: $fat_output to "you know everyone says this about their local but I really believe that pub was the friendliest one in all the south east and it doesn't look like much and the locals seem a little surly at first but when you get to know them they're all golden even the barman but I bet he puts water in the lager we all knew it")(set: $skele_output to "mossy pipes")(set: $choice to "pub")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "you really care about the ocean, huh")[(set: $fat_output to "well when the kids were very young we'd all go there and they were such talkers, so much energy, and it was somewhere where there was everything good in life, you could get ice cream, rides, or just look at the water and be peaceful, never went there with them when they were older")(set: $skele_output to "peaceful")(set: $choice to "ocean")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "I saw a photo of you when you were alive")[(set: $fat_output to "never liked my hair much, always thought it looked like a pub carpet so I kept it short when I could but you know in my time I knew how to get the ladies, oh, twenty, thirty years ago, wonder what they'd think if they saw me now, never a looker")(set: $skele_output to "pub rug haircut")(set: $choice to "photo")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "nobody can understand why you refused treatment")[(set: $fat_output to "well frankly it didn't seem worth the hassle, all the tubes and chemicals and the maybes and the seventeen percents, and I thought about it, but you know, who was it for, really? nobody was going to care if I went, and it was going to cost the nhs hundreds of thousands, didn't seem worth it for me really")(set: $skele_output to "didn't seem worth the hassle")(set: $choice to "treatment")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "maybe you need to visit a thin place")[(set: $fat_output to "thin what? sounds like stuff and nonsense and I don't hold with all that nonsense really")(set: $skele_output to "nonsense oh ok maybe")(set: $choice to "thinplaces")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "you always wanted to visit benbecula, but you never did")[(set: $fat_output to "well it sounded like such a magical place, way out there in the ocean, wind in your hair, flat all around, the kind of place you'd go on a really exciting holiday, and I would have gone, but nobody in the pub seemed to care and I thought well who with, then? me? so I don't know, just wasn't one on the cards for this old twit")(set: $skele_output to "yes please")(set: $choice to "benbecula")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "there are loads of ghosts everywhere")[(set: $fat_output to "you need to get your head straight there, person, because it's true, it's very crowded, and there's no good to be done for anyone if you happen to die and all in your head is stuff and nonsense because otherwise you're just going to spend the whole afterlife worrying like I am and it's pah")(set: $skele_output to "every house is packed")(set: $choice to "manyghosts")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "you don't like yellow candies for some reason")[(set: $fat_output to "well when I took cheeto in to be put down, it's silly really, but the pills they give them are yellow, and to make him eat them they hid them in a soft dog treat and he ate them, and well the look in his eyes was so sad, and I was nearly gone then too, thin as a rake, and I thought maybe I should get some of those yellow ones and for some reason that really frightened me")(set: $skele_output to "they killed cheeto")(set: $choice to "yellow")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "darts is dumb")[(set: $fat_output to "phil the power taylor is the greatest englishman to ever live and your lot don't know you're born")(set: $skele_output to "one hundred and eighty!")(set: $choice to "power")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "I'm sorry about what happened with your family")[(set: $fat_output to "oh well it's only natural I think they all grew up and apart and well things were bad with your mother for a long time and we didn't want you to grow up all surrounded by horrible arguments but then after a while I didn't know how to talk to them and I got upset I know I shouldn't have and we yelled and then well now I miss them a lot, really, every day, even dead")(set: $skele_output to "they left me")(set: $choice to "estranged")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "margate is a cool place")[(set: $fat_output to "beautiful! beautiful town you know I took the kids' mother there when we were first dating and well that was before I became the fattest bloke in the south east ha ha ha and she smoked cigarillos on the pier and just wasn't she beautiful, her hair blowing out over the water, lovely")(set: $skele_output to "oho yes oho yes")(set: $choice to "margatevisited")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "you used to have an allotment")[(set: $fat_output to "supposed to be good for the soul, all digging in the weeds, I just used to sit there really and poke about a bit, kind people on allotments, people you can trust, and once I grew a carrot but a cat stole it, cats are terrible, hate cats")(set: $skele_output to "I remember it")(set: $choice to "allotment")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "chinese food is my favourite too")[(set: $fat_output to "they were very good, weren't they? the only friends I really had towards the end and they didn't mind delivering once it got too much and I was all weak and tiny, skinniest I ever was, despite their best efforts, ha ha ha!")(set: $skele_output to "bad for you")(set: $choice to "restaurant")(display: "ghost conversation next")] (click: "I just left")[(set: $ended to true)(display: "ghost conversation next")] }

(if: $ghost is "fat")[<i>... (print: $fat_output)</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $fat_ghost_pleased to true) he nodded, a small smile on his face, which was stained all over with grease and sauce](else:)[ he tried to flip the table, but it was bolted to the floor, so he just stood up in disgust and walked away]]\ (if: $ghost is "thin")[<i>... (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long")</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $thin_ghost_pleased to true) he nodded and smiled and slurped up a long noodle from the tabletop](else:)[ he started to choke, as if something was caught in his throat, and then his face fell onto the table and he lay there, immobile]]\ (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to $skele_output)<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>](if: (either: true, false))[(set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to true) it peered intently at its reflection in a bowl of watery soup that had appeared in front of it](else:)[ it peered intently at its reflection in a bowl of watery soup that had appeared in front of it]] after that, the ghosts were quiet it had grown dark out I nodded to the chef as I left(if: $toast is true)[ I sort of wanted to go back and get some more of that cheese on toast, but I didn't] [[I drove home and went to bed|nextday]]

I grabbed my jacket and ran for the door(set: $ghost to "") the ghost stayed where it was as I hurried out of the restaurant on the drive home, the back seat was empty(if: $toast is true)[ I sort of wanted to go back and get some more of that cheese on toast, but I didn't] [[I went to bed|nextday]]

the ghosts were standing in a row behind me "you guys get spookier by the day, you know that?" (link:"the fat one ate a slice of bread")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"restaurant ghost init")] (link:"the thin one prodded me with a chopstick")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"restaurant ghost init")] (link:"the skeleton one gaped in the direction of the menu")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"restaurant ghost init")]

{ (if: $ghost is "fat")[(set: $output_text to "he walked across to a table and sat down, and I found myself sitting opposite him, like he was listening like he wanted me to say something to him to tell him that he existed")] (if: $ghost is "thin")[(set: $output_text to "he walked across to a table and sat down, and I found myself sitting opposite him, like he was listening like he wanted me to say something to him to tell him that he existed")] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(set: $output_text to "it walked across to a table and sat down, and I found myself sitting opposite it, like it was listening like it wanted me to say something to it to tell it that it existed")] (set: $flee_passage to "restaurant flee") (set: $ask_passage to "restaurant ask") (set: $available to $clues - $discussed_with_ghosts) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (goto: "ghost conversation content")}

a couple of the ghosts in the garden waved at me as I left(set: $ghost to "") on the drive home, the back seat was empty [[I went to bed|nextday]]

(if: $ghost is "fat")[<i>... (print: $fat_output)</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $fat_ghost_pleased to true) he laughed and carried on laughing for what felt like a long time](else:)[ he frowned and spat on the floor and shook his head and vanished]]\ (if: $ghost is "thin")[<i>... (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long")</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $thin_ghost_pleased to true) he stopped his incessant movement for a moment and smiled a little mindless smile](else:)[ he coughed and yelled and convulsed and shook and vanished]]\ (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to $skele_output)<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>](if: (either: true, false))[(set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to true) it nodded its head back and forward a few times and then its head fell off](else:)[ it sneered and snapped its teeth and shook a little and vanished]] after that, the ghosts were quiet [[I drove home and went to bed|nextday]]

(if: $ghost is "fat")[<i>... (print: $fat_output)</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $fat_ghost_pleased to true) he raised an eyebrow as if to say 'what do you think of that?' and smiled a sleazy grin](else:)[ he made an 'it's all just poppycock' face and disappeared]]\ (if: $ghost is "thin")[<i>... (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long")</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $thin_ghost_pleased to true) he looked up and giggled a little and disappeared](else:)[ he barking at the dog and disappeared]]\ (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to $skele_output)<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>](if: (either: true, false))[(set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to true) it shrugged cheerfully and disappeared](else:)[ it shook its head ruefully and collapsed]] after that, the ghosts were quiet [[I drove home and went to bed|nextday]]

(if: $ghost is "fat")[<i>... (print: $fat_output)</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $fat_ghost_pleased to true) he smiled and drained his pint, banging it on the table](else:)[ he muttered something about the smoking ban and stepped outside into thin air]]\ (if: $ghost is "thin")[<i>... (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long")</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $thin_ghost_pleased to true) he rubbed his belly contentedly](else:)[ he frowned and disappeared, muttering something I couldn't make out]]\ (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to $skele_output)<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>](if: (either: true, false))[(set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to true) it grinned](else:)[ it slumped inanimate in its chair]] after that, the ghosts were quiet [[I drove home and went to bed|nextday]]

(if: $ghost is "fat")[<i>... (print: $fat_output)</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $fat_ghost_pleased to true) he looked out at the water with a faint smile on his face, then took a boiled egg from under his hat and tried to hand it to me it fell through my hand and broke on the ground he didn't seem concerned](else:)[ he shook his head sadly and muttered something about deserving a pint and vanished]]\ (if: $ghost is "thin")[<i>... (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long")</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $thin_ghost_pleased to true) he took a ball of wadded up paper from his pocket and sneezed into it and then laughed loudly and vanished](else:)[ he made a motion like he was trying to tie two pieces of invisible string together and grew frustrated]]\ (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to $skele_output)<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>](if: (either: true, false))[(set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to true) it grinned toothily and played with its cigarette](else:)[ its bones hung loosely in its sockets and it backed away through the wall]] after that, the ghosts were quiet [[I drove home and went to bed|nextday]]

(if: $ghost is "fat")[<i>... (print: $fat_output)</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $fat_ghost_pleased to true) he smiled and nodded](else:)[ he shook his head ruefully]]\ (if: $ghost is "thin")[<i>... (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long"), (display: "thin ghost long")</i> (if: (either: true, false))[(set: $thin_ghost_pleased to true) he grinned toothily](else:)[ he made a regretful shrug]]\ (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to $skele_output)<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>](if: (either: true, false))[(set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to true) it nodded to itself](else:)[ it sadly shook its head]] after that, the ghosts were quiet [[I drove home and went to bed|nextday]]

without looking, I strode out of the shop and into the street and back to the car on the drive home, the back seat was empty [[I went to bed|nextday]](set: $ghost to "")

I took one more look around and left on the drive home, the back seat was empty [[I went to bed|nextday]](set: $ghost to "")

on the drive home, the back seat was empty [[I went to bed|nextday]](set: $ghost to "")

the moment passed and they trooped back towards the car as we left on the drive home, the back seat was empty [[I went to bed|nextday]](set: $ghost to "")

{ (if: $ghost is "fat")[(set: $output_text to "he blew a smoke ring and pouted")] (if: $ghost is "thin")[(set: $output_text to "he pointed at the garden, aghast")] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(set: $output_text to "it plonked its skull back on top of its body")] (set: $flee_passage to "house flee") (set: $ask_passage to "house ask") (set: $available to $clues - $discussed_with_ghosts) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (goto: "ghost conversation content")}

{ (if: $ghost is "fat")[(set: $output_text to "he leaned in close to me from the other side of the glass and raised an eyebrow")] (if: $ghost is "thin")[(set: $output_text to "he shushed and the dog was silent")] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(set: $output_text to "it turned to face me")] (set: $flee_passage to "teller flee") (set: $ask_passage to "teller ask") (set: $available to $clues - $discussed_with_ghosts) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (goto: "ghost conversation content")}

{ (if: $ghost is "fat")[(set: $output_text to "he looked at me, rheumy-eyed")] (if: $ghost is "thin")[(set: $output_text to "he looked at me, thin-lipped")] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(set: $output_text to "sweat glistened on its bones")] (set: $flee_passage to "pub flee") (set: $ask_passage to "pub ask") (set: $available to $clues - $discussed_with_ghosts) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (goto: "ghost conversation content")}

{ (if: $ghost is "fat")[(set: $output_text to "he looked at me as I approached and made humming noises")] (if: $ghost is "thin")[(set: $output_text to "he looked up at the skylight and back at me")] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(set: $output_text to "he ran a bony finger across the shells approvingly")] (set: $flee_passage to "margate flee") (set: $ask_passage to "margate ask") (set: $available to $clues - $discussed_with_ghosts) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (goto: "ghost conversation content")}

{ (if: $ghost is "fat")[(set: $output_text to "the fat ghost seemed more lucid for a moment and looked at me expectantly")] (if: $ghost is "thin")[(set: $output_text to "the thin ghost raised his eyebrows at me and cocked his head")] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[(set: $output_text to "the skeleton ghost looked towards me")] (set: $flee_passage to "allotment flee") (set: $ask_passage to "allotment ask") (set: $available to $clues - $discussed_with_ghosts) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (goto: "ghost conversation content")}

the ghosts saw that I was making my way out and drifted over to me they had a look of reproach, like they didn't want to leave so soon (link:"the fat one leaned in the doorway smoking")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"house ghost init")] (link:"the thin one scuffed his feet on the ground")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"house ghost init")] (link:"the skeleton spun its skull on one finger like it was showing off")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"house ghost init")]

"mind how you go" the ghosts sat at a table by the door, smoking they fixed eyes on me as I walked past (link:"the fat one glugged endlessly from a pint")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"pub ghost init")] (link:"the thin one struggled with a lighter")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"pub ghost init")] (link:"smoke poured out of the skeleton's eye sockets")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"pub ghost init")]

it was the fortune teller "hey so I just wanted to say good luck on your trip" (if: $benbecula_plan is true)["I'm not going on a trip" "you doofus, you've got to go to benbecula! you don't have much time!" "the scottish island?" "yes!" "but it's a long long way away" "but this might be your only chance to solve your ghost problem, and it'll be a good little road trip either way, you'll like it"]\ (elseif: $clues contains "benbecula")["my trip?" "you're going to benbecula, right?" "well, that was somewhere steve always wanted to go, so... wait, how do you know?" "um, hello? psychic powers" "right" "and you figured out that was what he always wanted to do, so now that's your plan, because you're really smart and solved the puzzle by asking the right questions or whatever" "I guess that's what I did" "so if you're going to go, now's the time, because it'll take a couple days drive either way, and there's ferries and shit"]\ (else:)["what trip?" "your trip to benbecula" "what's benbecula?" "you haven't heard of benbecula?" "nope, first I've heard of it" "you absolute fucking idiot!" "wow, harsh" "you had one job, and somehow you've totally messed it up - thank goodness you've got a magic fortune teller looking out for you" "what is it?" "it's an island in the outer hebridies, ding dong, it's where steve wanted to go his whole life, it's the answer to the riddle, all that shit" "how do you know that?" "um, hello? psychic powers" "and I have to go all the way to the outer hebridies?" "to benbecula, yes, because it's magic"] "and what if I don't go to benbecula?" "then you'll never know" "what am I supposed to do when I get there?" "oh I'm sure you'll figure it out" [[so I abandoned all my other plans and hit the road|time to drive]]

his legs passed right through the pile of stinking bags(set: $ghost to "fat") (if: $fat_ghost_pleased is true)[somewhere down in the murk I got the sense that he was tapping his feet he was talking but I had the windows open and couldn't hear a word he was saying but at one point, he reached across to the glove compartment and pulled out a ghostly packet of sweets he took two, then offered me the bag [[I took one]] [[I declined]]]\ (else:)[he leered at me for a while, and then lunged at me and grabbed the wheel, pulling sharply down [[the car veered into the opposite lane and slammed into an oncoming lorry]]]

my hand passed right through the packet he shrugged and took two more [[a while later, the thin ghost took his place]]

he shrugged and vanished (set: $ghost to "") [[a while later, the thin ghost took his place]]

we were north of york by then and the afternoon was drawing in(set: $ghost to "thin") <i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i> (if: $thin_ghost_pleased is true)[then he started to sing it was a strange little song about a sailor full of dirty puns his lips were dry and they clicked as he sang it it seemed to have hundreds of verses [[then finally the skeleton took his place]]]\ (else:)[<i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i> <i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i> <i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i> [[he was going faster and faster]]]

the steering wheel rammed me just below the rib cage I screamed and then we were back, driving along as normal, the lorry receding in the rear view, safe as houses [[and then the ghost did it again]]

we spun sideways and a bus went into the side of the car and then we were back he reached again [["STOP IT"]]

he yelled something inchoate at me, inches from my ear, and then settled back into the seat in a sullen funk [[a while later, the thin ghost took his place]]

(set: $tirade to (either: "i don’t like it","the yellow ones look like medicine","but I know this city!","we spent Christmas in Panama","tess helps me out around the house a little","i don’t know why Joy and Chloe don’t answer the phone","no, I’m fine. I feel fine","it’s just common sense, though","do they like me?","where’s your mother?","well, I lost Cheeto, and that’s been hard","they won’t let you have a gin and tonic in hospital","nobody wants me around","I saw phil taylor hanging round here once","phil the power taylor!","one hundred and eighty!","why are you going through my things","stop! I put it there for a reason!","I have bacon and eggs in the fridge","I’m here because you","once I","this is where I","last time we were all together, we","remember when we","it was raining that day we","when we were here last time they","the old boys on the shore, they","got seventy six and thirty nine from the big place on the corner","buried the dog","lost her","told me she was dead","told me she’s had an accident","tried to make me take those nasty yellow pills","wouldn’t stop talking about what the doctor said","stopped my car and they told me I wasn’t allowed to drive any more, which was nonsense, because I could see it perfectly well","couldn’t get anybody to answer the phone","were very lonely","wondered where everyone had gone","and I just felt very lonely","and it was a hard year really","and we all got soaking wet","and he walked into a glass door","but they just weren’t making sense out of it","with the boys","but they left me all by myself","but you… wait, why did...","and then we watched the darts","because they really knew how to do it back then","and things were never the same after that","but it can be very hard sometimes"))(live: 0.5s)[(set: $tirade to it + " " + (either: "i don’t like it","the yellow ones look like medicine","but I know this city!","we spent Christmas in Panama","tess helps me out around the house a little","i don’t know why Joy and Chloe don’t answer the phone","no, I’m fine. I feel fine","it’s just common sense, though","do they like me?","where’s your mother?","well, I lost Cheeto, and that’s been hard","they won’t let you have a gin and tonic in hospital","nobody wants me around","I saw phil taylor hanging round here once","phil the power taylor!","one hundred and eighty!","why are you going through my things","stop! I put it there for a reason!","[[BE QUIET]]","I have bacon and eggs in the fridge","I’m here because you","once I","this is where I","last time we were all together, we","remember when we","it was raining that day we","when we were here last time they","the old boys on the shore, they","got seventy six and thirty nine from the big place on the corner","buried the dog","lost her","told me she was dead","told me she’s had an accident","tried to make me take those nasty yellow pills","wouldn’t stop talking about what the doctor said","stopped my car and they told me I wasn’t allowed to drive any more, which was nonsense, because I could see it perfectly well","couldn’t get anybody to answer the phone","were very lonely","wondered where everyone had gone","and I just felt very lonely","and it was a hard year really","and we all got soaking wet","and he walked into a glass door","but they just weren’t making sense out of it","with the boys","but they left me all by myself","but you… wait, why did...","and then we watched the darts","because they really knew how to do it back then","and things were never the same after that","but it can be very hard sometimes","[[BE QUIET]]","[[BE QUIET]]","[[BE QUIET]]"))$tirade(if: time > 36000)[[[BE QUIET]](stop:)]]

(either: "i don’t like it","the yellow ones look like medicine","but I know this city!","we spent Christmas in Panama","tess helps me out around the house a little","i don’t know why Joy and Chloe don’t answer the phone","no, I’m fine. I feel fine","it’s just common sense, though","do they like me?","where’s your mother?","well, I lost Cheeto, and that’s been hard","they won’t let you have a gin and tonic in hospital","nobody wants me around","I saw phil taylor hanging round here once","phil the power taylor!","one hundred and eighty!","why are you going through my things","stop! I put it there for a reason!","I have bacon and eggs in the fridge","I’m here because you","once I","this is where I","last time we were all together, we","remember when we","it was raining that day we","when we were here last time they","the old boys on the shore, they","got seventy six and thirty nine from the big place on the corner","buried the dog","lost her","told me she was dead","told me she’s had an accident","tried to make me take those nasty yellow pills","wouldn’t stop talking about what the doctor said","stopped my car and they told me I wasn’t allowed to drive any more, which was nonsense, because I could see it perfectly well","couldn’t get anybody to answer the phone","were very lonely","wondered where everyone had gone","and I just felt very lonely","and it was a hard year really","and we all got soaking wet","and he walked into a glass door","but they just weren’t making sense out of it","with the boys","but they left me all by myself","but you… wait, why did...","and then we watched the darts","because they really knew how to do it back then","and things were never the same after that","but it can be very hard sometimes")

he stopped and looked at me, terrified tears of panic spilled down his cheeks he hid his face behind his hands [[then finally the skeleton took his place]]

I slept in the car in a field that night and skeleton stayed in the passenger seat the whole night through(set: $ghost to "skeleton") I got an early start the next morning, cold coffee from a thermos, fantastic we were deep in scotland at that point, heading for oban, where we'd have to board a ferry the road ran along the side of twisting shapeless lochs and the land erupted into mountains it was a landscape in uproar, as if the sea's incursion had provoked the land to anger, and now the two were fighting and gradually, as we neared the coast, the sea began to win (if: $skeleton_ghost_pleased is true)[the skeleton gazed out of the window, jaw agape [[we boarded the ferry]]]\ (else:)[(linkgoto: "and for all that journey, the car was full of heatless flames")]

and from the deck, it seemed the sea was swallowing the land(set: $ghost to "") the ferry wound its way between sheer headlands and crags a mile long, but soon the gaps crew wider, the channels deeper soon, the land was routed, and lonely boulders marked its only presence and then an expanse of atlantic [[and then benbecula, the land's last effort]]

at first, smoke came from below the dashboard I knew not to worry because the smoke didn't have a smell the engine sounded fine the car kept driving but slowly, fire crept up the arches and under the seats I paid the ferry toll from inside a ball of flames the ferryman either couldn't see them or didn't care [[the flames died as ferry moved out onto the sea|we boarded the ferry]]

the word 'benbecula' means 'penny' in an old hebridean dialect, someone told me later, but I don't know if that's actually true or not it's because the island looks like a penny lying flat on a table well, that's not quite true - it's bookended between two small hilly islands called north and south uist, where there are small towns and a ferryport and pubs and things but I drove straight through town and out onto the flat [[it was late afternoon|benbecula1]]

it's a seaside town where london people used to go for dirty weekends or to have their relatives institutionalised(set: $background to "margate")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) I messed up the route there because I was distracted by ghosts, and ended up driving through rows and rows of cookie cutter suburbs eventually, they gave way to a tangle of tourist town, and then the beach I parked up [[I searched the town for clues about the ghosts|margate activities]]

I sat on the sand with my chin on my hands the tide was out, and down by the shore I saw the ghosts looking out towards the sea I reflected that I'd kind of enjoyed myself despite them this was the kind of day I'd been hoping to have more of now I'd bought a car nobody else on the beach seemed to mind that there were three ghosts standing looking out to sea I realised looking at them that they never really acknowledged one another - they were either looking out of the window, or at me, or at something only they could see but here, they stood very close together the fat ghost had his hands around the shoulders of the other two they all had their trousers rolled up I don't really know what I'd hoped to learn by going there, but perhaps it was just that the ghosts liked the sea?(set: $clues to it + (a:"ocean")) [[on the way out I visited the famous shell grotto]]

what a crazy thing! there was a queue outside the door but when I got inside it was empty like a catacomb but with shells instead of bones and apparently nobody knows why it's even there? wild the ghosts were there, though (link:"the fat one looked at the walls approvingly")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"margate ghost init")] (link:"the thin one stood under the skylight and kept away from the walls")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"margate ghost init")] (link:"the skeleton one hunkered down in a corner")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"margate ghost init")]

I recognised the woman who sold me the car as she answered the door and hustled me into the living room(set: $background to "house")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) "hi," she said, "I'm carol, and I know who you are - I suppose you're very angry with me?" [["well yeah"]] [["no, not really"]]

"I'm sorry - I genuinely didn't think that was going to happen" "well, now they're all haunting my entire life" "it isn't really my fault, you know, but still, I'm happy to talk to you now - what do you need to know?" [[I gave her the story so far]]

"oh, well, that's... I would be, in your position, so thanks" "let me tell you what's been happening" [[I gave her the story so far]]

"... and so basically I'm being hassled by a ghost, or actually it's three ghosts, but, like, they're all actually the same guy" "well, we've all got ghosts - are you doing something about it?" "I've had some help from a fortune teller, and I think I'm supposed to be... working out what he wants, maybe?" "that sounds sensible - I went to a crystal expert and I've been burning a lot of sage, but it hasn't done much - is that why you've come here?" "yeah, I need to know who he is" she sighed and made a flustered gesture "I don't know what to tell you" "do you know who they are?" "well, yes, of course" she took a deep breath "his name was steve wintle and he was my father, and this was his house, only I've been living here a while now so most of his things are gone" "been doing a lot of trips to the charity shop?" "yeah" "me too" "oh" there was a pause, and then a crashing noise came from somewhere in the house "so, some of his things are still in the spare room upstairs, so why don't you go and have a look at those, while I..." she made a 'hold that thought' gesture and hurried off towards the sound, leaving me alone [[I went upstairs and found the spare room|rummage]](set: $rummages to 5)(set: $box to (a:"power", "photo", "hospital", "hat", "records"))

I found a completely ludicrous print of a darts player gazing stone-faced into the camera against a backdrop of purple lightning on the back it was signed "from your pal Phil 'The Power' Taylor" there were also unopened packets of commemorative darts and programmes from live darts events steve apparently loved darts, so that was something(set: $clues to it + (a:"power"))(set: $box to it - (a:"power")) (display: "rummage next")

(if: $rummages is 5)[it was piled high with boxes and tied-up bin bags and smelled a little miserable this would probably be the only chance I was going to get to go through his things (link:"I started searching for clues, I guess")[(goto: (either: ...$box))]]\ (if: $rummages is 4)[a little time passed as I went through the bags and boxes I heard carol yelling at someone (link:"I didn't know what I was looking for but I kept going")[(goto: (either: ...$box))] (link:"I gave up on the boxes and went to see what was up with carol")[(goto: "downstairs")]]\ (if: $rummages is 3)[a while later, I heard carol calling from below "sorry, I know you're busy, but could I have a little help down here?" (link:"I ignored her and kept rummaging")[(goto: (either: ...$box))] (link:"I went to see what's what")[(goto: "downstairs")]]\ (if: $rummages is 2)[I'd been in the room for about an hour when a huge crash came from downstairs "damn it!" I'd checked through most of the boxes by then - just a few remained it sounded like carol needed help (link:"I kept going")[(goto: (either: ...$box))] (link:"I gave up")[(goto: "downstairs")]]\ (if: $rummages is 1)[things downstairs seemed to have quietened down, and I thought I heard carol in the garden I was pretty sure I'd been through everything thoroughly (link:"I gave the boxes one more rummage, just for luck")[(goto: (either: ...$box))] (link:"I went downstairs")[(goto: "downstairs")]]

(set: $clues to it + (a:"hospital"))at the bottom of one box was a big wad of letters from bleakerton general hospital, with increasingly significant URGENT stickers and DO NOT IGNORE stamps, all of them unopened(set: $box to it - (a:"hospital")) (display: "rummage next")

in a drawer was a picture in a little plastic frame steve when he was younger, still overweight, a big open-mouthed grin on his face, and a little girl sat on his knee - carol, perhaps? he was kind of good looking in a 'here's someone who knows how to enjoy life' kind of way(set: $clues to it + (a:"photo"))(set: $box to it - (a:"photo")) (display: "rummage next")

in the top of one of the bin bags was a big old sweat-and-smoke-stained hat just like the one the fat ghost wears(set: $box to it - (a:"hat")) (display: "rummage next")

there were some dog-eared records - best of northern soul, ultimate ska compilation, that kind of thing(set: $box to it - (a:"records")) (display: "rummage next")

(set: $rummages to it - 1)(if: $rummages is not 0)[[[I carried on|rummage]]](else:)[by then I'd checked the whole room so I went downstairs [[carol wasn't best pleased|downstairs]]]

downstairs, the clattering and banging was still audible "hey, carol, are you..." she reappeared in the hallway, flustered (if: $rummages is < 2)["yes, I'm fine, sorry, the others are very boisterous today, I think it's because you're here" ]\ (elseif: $rummages is <0)[she didn't look pleased to see me "didn't you hear me calling? I needed some help with the others" ]\ (else: $rummages is 0)[she gave me a dark look "I was calling, you know, this is my house, least you could do is come and help, because the others are making such a mess and it's just because you're here, don't know why I bother really..." ]\ "what do you mean 'others'?" "well, all the other ghosts" [["there are other ghosts here too?"]](set: $clues to it + (a:"manyghosts"))

"well, yes, see for yourself" (live: 3s)[she took me out through the kitchen, which looked like a bull had charged through it, and into the back garden] (live: 6s)[dozens of ghosts were out there] (live: 9s)[some stood around an inert barbeque] (live: 12s)[some lounged on the lawn] (live: 15s)[some threw and caught an invisible ball] (live: 18s)[some danced to silent music] (live: 21s)[they were living it up] (live: 22s)[most I didn't recognise, but my ghosts were there too, mingling] (live: 25s)[[["you see what I'm dealing with?"|"you see what I'm dealing with?"]]]

"do you mind if I ask you some stuff about it?" the ghosts ignored us as we stood by the back door, looking at them (if: $rummages is < 2)["yes, I suppose, but not for long because I think they'll calm down once you leave" [["so..."]]]\ (elseif: $rummages is < 4)[she sighed "fine, fine, but don't take too long - you've already been here long enough, I think, and you're getting them all riled up" [["so..."]]]\ (else:)["don't you understand? they're only like this because you're here with your ghosts, and it's got them all shook up - but fine, make it quick" I'd clearly worn out her patience by spending so long rummaging upstairs [["so..."]]]

{ (set: $output_text to "she gave me a 'get on with it' look") (set: $their_exit to "she was getting increasingly restless, like she wanted to deal with the ghost problem, and as I asked her that question she made an exasperated sigh so I decided my time was up [[as I turned to leave, I noticed my ghosts looking at me|outro house]]") (set: $my_exit to "I decided to get out of her hair, so I said something polite and made my exit [[as I turned to leave, I noticed my ghosts looking at me|outro house]]") (set: $available to $clues) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to $rummages+1) (goto: "house conversation content")}

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }[]<output| (if: $i<$goal and $ended is false)[(if: $available contains "photo")[I found a photo of you on his knee upstairs ](if: $available contains "power")[I found a picture of some darts guy ](if: $available contains "steve")[what was he like? ](if: $available contains "yellow")[did he have a thing about the colour yellow? ](if: $available contains "margatevisited")[he loved margate, didn't he? ](if: $available contains "estranged")[why were you the only one who kept in touch with him? ](if: $available contains "manyghosts")[are all these ghosts him? ]I couldn't think of anything else to ask]{ (click: "I found a photo of you on his knee upstairs")[(set: $text to "\"oh, I know the one you mean - that was when we were very young, back when he was more of a father to me and my sisters, before he broke up with our mother - I think he kept that photo because I was the only one who really kept up with him\"")(set: $clues to it + (a:"estranged"))(set: $goal to it + 1)(set: $available to it + (a:"estranged"))(set: $choice to "photo")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "I found a picture of some darts guy")[(set: $text to "\"ugh yes I always hated all that darts stuff\"")(set: $choice to "power")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "what was he like")[(set: $text to "\"well, he was, um... that's a hard question because he was different things to different people - to my mother, he was an ogre, and to me he was someone I felt sorry for, and to my sisters he was irrelevant, really, and to the blokes in the pub he was just another bloke in the pub, it was called the golden ham, his local, the blokes there might have something for you... and I think he was a dissapointment to himself - he died of cancer, by the way, undiagnosed\"")(set: $choice to "steve")(set: $goal to it + 1)(set: $clues to it + (a:"pub")))(display: "conversation next")] (click: "did he have a thing about the colour yellow")[(set: $text to "\"I don't know - maybe he did, he had a lot of funny foibles, but I didn't really see much of him in the last couple of years\"")(set: $choice to "yellow")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "he loved margate, didn't he")[(set: $text to "\"did he? we used to go there a lot, when we were younger\"")(set: $choice to "margatevisited")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "why were you the only one who kept in touch with him")[(set: $text to "\"oh, well, I was the most in touch with him, but that doesn't mean I saw him much - the others just couldn't be bothered, but I felt sorry for him so I saw him a bit, and when he died he left me this house, and that seemed like a good thing but now I realise it's haunted all to heck\"")(set: $choice to "estranged")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "are all these ghosts him")[(set: $text to "\"no, only a few, I think the rest are just people from around the neighbourhood who he's invited over, they're having a non stop fiesta I tell you\"")(set: $choice to "manyghosts")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "I couldn't think of anything else to ask")[(set: $text to $my_exit)(set: $ended to true)(display: "conversation next")] }

a real one-dart-board establishment(set: $background to "pub")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) a line of regulars propping up the bar sour smell the woman behind the bar gave me a nod as I came in "wotcher" [["I would like a pint please"]] [["did a man called steve used to come here?"]]

"ask and ye shall recieve" she poured me a pint [[I got freaked out and left]] [[I stayed and listened to the conversation]]

the landlady nodded "right he did, one of our regulars" "do you mind if I ask some questions about him?" "why? you a copper?" "no, I... why, was he into something?" "no, steve was clean as a whistle, no spine for crime, that's what we used to say about steve, ha ha ha, sure, you're alright, ask what you want" [[I got talking to the locals|conversation with pub people]]

pubs are not for me [[I spotted the ghosts by the door|outro pub]]

two of the regulars were talking about some kind of sport event "lewis and anderson, twenty eleven, that was a great match" "nah, anderson is trash, no class, if that's the best we've got then the game's in a sorry state" "come on, anderson played four of the best legs I'd ever seen from him, never seen arrows like them" "sid 'the voice of darts' waddel was in awe" (if: $clues contains "power")[(linkgoto:"I'm more of a fan of phil 'the power' taylor")](else:)[(linkgoto:"so you guys are into darts, huh")]

{ (set: $output_text to "\"we miss old steve - what do you want to know\"") (set: $their_exit to "\"look this is all still pretty fresh for us, maybe you want to come back some other time like in a week or so, that'd be fine but now we need to watch the darts\" [[darts were boring to watch so I made for the door|outro pub]]") (set: $my_exit to "I couldn't think of anything else to ask and soon the conversation turned back to darts and they put darts on the telly [[darts were boring to watch so I made for the door|outro pub]]") (set: $available to $clues) (set: $discussed to (a:)) (set: $ended to false) (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random: 3,4)) (goto: "pub convo")}

"now there's an opinion we haven't heard in a while!" "remember old steve? he loved phil the power taylor more than anyone else alive" "poor steve" they raised their glasses "actually, I want to ask about steve" "ask away" [[I had spoken the password and now I was in|conversation with pub people]]

they looked at me "yep" there was a silence so I just blurted it out [["I'm here about the ghost of a guy called steve who used to drink here"|conversation with pub people]]

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }[]<output| (if: $i<$goal and $ended is false)[(if: $available contains "photo")[did he ever talk about his kids? ](if: $available contains "power")[he loved phil the power taylor huh ](if: $available contains "ocean")[did he ever talk about the sea? ](if: $available contains "steve")[what was he like? ](if: $available contains "yellow")[did he have some issue with yellow things? ](if: $available contains "dog")[what happened to the dog? ](if: $available contains "treatment")[did you guys know he refused treatment for cancer? ]that's all I want to know, thanks]{ (click: "did he ever talk about his kids")[(set: $text to "\"yeah, so sad about the kids, he used to get in his cups and just talk for hours about how small he felt about the way she'd turned the kids against him and that - one of them was still in touch but the others weren't talking to him ever, sad thing really\"")(set: $choice to "photo")(set: $clues to it + (a:"estranged"))(set: $available to it + (a:"estranged"))(set: $goal to it + 1)(display: "conversation next")] (click: "he loved phil the power taylor huh")[(set: $text to "\"more than anyone else alive, he even met him once, what a great man")(set: $choice to "power")(display: "conversation next\"")] (click: "did he ever talk about the sea")[(set: $text to "\"there was a bloke in here once who told us about this island called benbecula in the outer hebridies, painted a real picture, and you know I think steve always wanted to go there, he'd look at pictures of it on his phone when he was misty-eyed\"")(set: $choice to "ocean")(set: $goal to it + 1)(set: $clues to it + (a:"benbecula"))(set: $available to it + (a:"benbecula"))(display: "conversation next")] (click: "what was he like")[(set: $text to "\"he was... he was sort of broken, wasn't he? we all said when he started getting thin that he'd always felt like someone it could all go wrong for, and really it was a big blow when his dog died\"")(set: $choice to "steve")(set: $goal to it + 1)(set: $clues to it + (a:"dog"))(set: $available to it + (a:"dog"))(display: "conversation next")] (click: "did he have some issue with yellow things")[(set: $text to "\"no, not that I ever heard of\"")(set: $choice to "yellow")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "what happened to the dog")[(set: $text to "\"it had to be put down, he loved that dog, it was really the last straw maybe\"")(set: $choice to "dog")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "did you guys know he refused treatment for cancer")[(set: $text to "\"did he? no, he wouldn't... who told you that? that's awful, that is, it can't be true, he wasn't the sort, no, it' can't be true, no\"")(set: $choice to "treatment")(display: "conversation next")] (click: "that's all I want to know, thanks")[(set: $text to $my_exit)(set: $ended to true)(display: "conversation next")] }

(set: $one to false)(set: $two to false)(set: $c to 0)\ (link: "1 - Roast Stuffed Leg of Lamb with Mint Sauce")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "2 - Cheese rolls with a filling of nuts, honey and vegetables")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "3 - Pork Knuckle Roasted in Beer")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "4 - Wonton Soup")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "5 - Roast Beef Served with Cranberry Sauce")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "6 - Stuffed Mushrooms with Thyme & Creamcheese")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "7 - Roast Goose strewn with Caraway seeds")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "8 - Smoked Salmon Salad")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "9 - Mutton, Lettuce and Tomato")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "10 - Apple Stuffed Mushrooms")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "11 - Beef in Ginger & Cinnamon")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "12 - Garlic and Basil Leg of Lamb")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "13 - Grilled Fillet of Salmon")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "14 - Braised Oxtails with Mushrooms")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "15 - Grilled Fillet of Salmon")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "16 - Apple Stuffed Mushrooms")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "17 - Garlic and Basil Leg of Lamb")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "18 - Honey Glazed Carrots and Parsnips")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "19 - Cheese rolls with a filling of nuts, honey and vegetables")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "20 - Beef in Ginger & Cinnamon")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "21 - Mutton, Lettuce and Tomato")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "22 - Roast Stuffed Leg of Lamb with Mint Sauce")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "23 - Breaded Breast of Chicken, Whiskey & Mushroom Sauce")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "24 - Kito's Spiced Potatos")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "25 - Stuffed Mushrooms with Thyme & Creamcheese")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "26 - Sweet and Sour Oxtails with Mushrooms")[(set: $one to true)(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "27 - Chicken Liver Pate and Bread")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "28 - Roasted and Smoked Pork Spareribs")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "29 - Cheese & Crackers")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "30 - Artichoke Soup")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "31 - Boiled Leeks")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "32 - Pickled Sausage")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "33 - Beef Stew")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "34 - Spiced Potatoes")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "35 - Porridge")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "36 - Baked Potato")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "37 - Smoked Pork")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "38 - Mashed Potatoes")[(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "39 - Bread & Butter")[(set: $two to true)(set: $c to it + 1)] (link: "40 - Cheese Rolls")[(set: $c to it + 1)](live: 0.1s)[(if: $c is 2)[(goto:"ordered")]]<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('poem')</script>

(if: $one is true and $two is true)["wow, that's a strange order - those were old steve wintle's favourites... sweet and sour oxtails, bread and butter... he loved that meal - that's not the right one for you, though - I'm making you a cheese on toast because I think that's what you need"(if: not ($clues contains "steve"))[ steve must have been the name of my ghosts I discovered it with my smart detective powers, like a genius, so I played along "yep, steve, he used to love those oxtails" ](else:)[ "yeah, I figured" ]"do you know him?" [[only vaguely]] [[he died and his ghosts are in a car I bought]]](else:)["the thing you have to understand about this restaurant is that you don't always get what you order - are you ok with that?" "sounds like a weird way to run a restaurant" "it's, uh, it's kind of like a metaphor or something" "a lot of those around at the moment" "nah, it's not really that - I'm just not a very good cook" the figure receded into the murk of the kitchen and came out a little later "I made you cheese on toast - you look like you need comfort food" [[hey, can I ask you about someone that used to eat here?]]]<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('tw-passage')</script>

(set: $background to "restaurant")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)it had a low ceiling, and dim light, and people hunched at tables the clientele didn't look good small tables were bolted to the floor, and at one end of the room was a counter and a kitchen where a large person lurked no two diners seemed to have the same food, and none of it looked reasonable on one wall was a fishtank, divided in two by a strip of tape, with a solitary fish inside it above the counter, a huge glowing menu thrummed with electric light [[I checked out the fishtank]] [[I looked at the menu]]

a salty customer stirred as I peered at the fish "you wanna know why there's a strip of tape down the middle of that fishtank?" [[sure, tell me]] [[it's probably a dumb reason]]

there was no rhyme or reason to it - it was just a long list of dishes, some kinda chinese, some kinda british, some kinda... just... it was all over the place "so what's your order?" came the voice from behind the counter a tall broad man with deep-set eyes and yellowish skin and a knobbly hat emerged from the gloom "it's two for one on all food things" [[um...|menu]]

(set: $clues to it + (a:"fishtank"))"so a couple of years ago, some tv show was doing a kind of showy tv fake social experiment next door" "what was it?" "it was about superstitions - are you superstitious? doesn't much matter to me either way" he slurped up some radish-looking thing "so what they did was they took a bunch of adults and put them in a room next door with all objects, like, strewn around - chairs, tables, big blocks, all kinds of stuff" "and?" "and on the wall was an electric scoreboard, and the adults were told that their job was to make that score get as big as possible" "just like in reality" "just like in reality - and they were told that their job was to figure out what action would cause the score to increase, and that the answer had something to do with all the clutter in the room, and that they had one hour" "what happened?" "they got busy trying to figure out what makes the score go up - so they all started looking around the room, picking things up, and so on, and all of a sudden, ding, the score goes up, and everyone is like 'what did you just do' and someone is like 'I put this chair over here' and someone is like 'I opened this drawer' and they're all talking, and a little while later it would happen again, and slowly they would start to make theories, and test them, and discard them" "did groups tend to figure it out?" "no two groups came to the same conclusion about what it was that you had to do to increase the score" "so, what was the answer?" "the answer was that nothing they did mattered - the score wasn't anything to do with the room they were in" "huh?" "they had a runner sat in here looking at our fish and every time it swam from the left hand side of the tank to the right, past that strip of tape, they pushed a button that made the counter go up" "so what does it mean?" "it means that your beliefs are bullshit and trying to figure out why some people are successful and some people aren't is futile - sometimes things go ok, and sometimes they don't, and there's nothing you can do about it" "wow, bleak" "not so much - you gotta consider that along the way you'll cobble together some beliefs and you'll enjoy doing it and maybe in a weird way that helps you survive, or something, even though god is just a fish in a tank swimming past some tape" "and that's what that strip of sticky tape represents?" "yep" [[I left him to his radishes and went to look at the menu|I looked at the menu]]

"nah, it's funny and humane and thought-provioking" [[ok fine|sure, tell me]] [[still no]]

"I heard he died - the cancer got him, that's what they said, and it was a shame because he was looking healthy - losing lots of weight, working on his allotment" "do you know where his allotment was?" "I can make a guess - not a lot of allotments around here, what with everyone having gardens" [[I made a note of the address the chef wrote down]]

"sure, who?" I described what I knew of my ghosts "oh yeah, that's steve! he used to be in here all the time" "yeah, I figured" "do you know him?" [[only vaguely]] [[he died and his ghosts are in a car I bought]]

the chef nodded, not seeming peturbed about the death "sounds like our steve - what's your angle on the whole situation?" "I think I need to find out, like, what he wanted, what he cared about or something, so I can try and put his soul to rest or some such thing" "I think he just wanted someone to care for him" "really?" "um, well, doesn't everybody? there we go, case closed" "do you know anything else?" "well, he loved his allotment - he used to come here after he'd been there" "do you know where it is?" "I can make a sensible guess" [[I made a note of the address the chef wrote down]]

"you should stay a little longer, you know - you might feel like you want to come back some time" I looked at the cheese on toast the chef put in front of me [[I like cheese on toast]] [[I don't like cheese on toast]]

{(set: $background to "fortunetellersshop")(set: $backgroundchanged to true)(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "the fortune teller emerged from behind a drape wearing an elaborate poncho [[I couldn't tell if she looked pleased to see me]]") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to (random:2,4)) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "teller shop looksee")}

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }a crystal ball a twinkling chandelier a small dog a bowl of dice a cash register []<output|{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "a crystal ball")[(set: $text to "smoke swirled in its midst, battery powered, probably")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "a twinkling chandelier")[(set: $text to "three lights glittering in just the most perfect orientation")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "a small dog")[(set: $text to "it kept a wary eye on me as I prowled about the shop")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "a bowl of dice")[(set: $text to "some normal ones, some with loads of sides, all carved out of something that looked like bone")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "a cash register")[(set: $text to "an aspirational object")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]] ]}

"that's good to hear - it's been a bad season for a lot of folks" she scratched her dog under the chin "so, what can I help you with?" [["read my fortune"]] [["hang out with me for a bit"]] [["tell me what I should do about these ghosts"]]

"they're like a cat in a field of grass, mate" "huh?" "you'll never find them if you're looking" "oh, that's not very helpful" "sorry - so, what do you want to do?" [["read my fortune"]] [["hang out with me for a bit"]] [["tell me what I should do about these ghosts"]]

"well, maybe I can help - what do you want?" [["read my fortune"]] [["hang out with me for a bit"]] [["tell me what I should do about these ghosts"]]

"ugh, really?" "you're supposed to be a fortune teller" "well, yeah, sometimes, when the money's good, but mostly I just use my powers for evil" she took the bowl of dice down from the shelf "but I'm really drunk so I'll make an exception" "don't you use cards?" "what, today? nah, it's a dice day" [[she placed the bowl of dice on the table]]

"those are the words we wanted to hear! yes they are" she scratched her dog on the chin "you know what I'm into at the moment? playing dice" "how come?" "you'll see" [[she placed the bowl of dice on the table]]

"oh my god, you're like a one track record with these ghosts! jeez" "well, you seem to know all about ghosts" "yeah, and I know all about how to fill in a self-assessment tax return too but you're not hassling me about that all the livelong day" [["I need help with the ghost problem"]] [["fine, what else did you have in mind?"]]

she gave a long ridiculous sigh "fine, fine, if it'll shut you up about it - have you tried speaking to them?" "we haven't exactly had a conversation" "not even a couple of words?" (if: $day is 2)["well, yesterday, just for a moment, I got a sense that I was supposed to say something to them, like they were expecting something of me, and I said something, and afterwards the ghost I said it to gave a weird reaction"]\ (elseif: $day is 3)["twice now, I've had a sense that I was supposed to say something to them, like they were expecting something of me, and when I said something they replied with some nonsense"]\ (elseif: $day is 4)["three times now, I've had a sense that I was supposed to say something to them, like they were expecting something of me, and when I said something they replied with some nonsense"] she nodded "maybe they want you to say something to them that shows them they're real and you care, or that they're not invisible, or something? what do you know about the guy?" "I know that (if: $clues contains "photo")[he used to be kinda handsomeish and ](if: $clues contains "power")[he was into this guy called phil the power taylor and ](if: $clues contains "ocean")[he liked the ocean and ](if: $clues contains "benbecula")[he always wanted to visit a place called benbecula and ](if: $clues contains "steve")[his name was steve and ](if: $clues contains "treatment")[he refused cancer treatment which is how he died and ](if: $clues contains "yellow")[in later life he had an issue with the colour yellow and ](if: $clues contains "estranged")[he didn't keep in contact with his ex wife and two of his kids and ](if: $clues contains "margate")[he liked the town of margate and ](if: $clues contains "dog")[he had a dog but it died and ](if: $clues contains "allotmentvisited")[he had an allotment and ](if: $clues contains "pub")[his local was called the golden ham and ]now he's three ghosts" "wow that's some good detective work" she thought about it (if: $clues contains "benbecula")[(set: $benbecula_plan to true)["so the big one there is the benbecula thing - is that like a village or something?" "it's a little island in the hebridies" "well, take him there" "but that's like a fourteen hour drive" she shrugged "I don't know what to tell you - it's your ghost car"]](else:)["well, I got nothing, but I'll look into it later when I'm in my psychic reverie" "ok, thanks, I guess"] she got up to go "bye now" she stepped behind her curtain and the shop was quiet again "hey what about that trip you mentioned on the phone" [[the dog barked]]

"let's play a dice game" "really?" "yep, I'm all about that at the moment" [[she placed the bowl of dice on the table]]

"here's how it works - I roll one die, you roll one die, and then we find out if you die or I die" "huh?" "it's like a game of chance - winner is the person with the biggest number" "ok sure, let's do it" some of the dice were big and had a lot more than six sides some of the dice were tiny and only had two or three she took a die from the bowl - it was pretty big (link: "I took a big die from the bowl")[(set: $sides to 15)(set: $die to "big")(goto: "dice game")] (link: "I took a small die from the bowl")[(set: $die to "small")(set: $sides to 4)(goto: "dice game")] (link: "I took a die from the bowl without looking")[(set: $die to "random")(set: $sides to (random:1,25))(goto: "dice game")] [[I said "I won't play because I never say die"]]

(set: $hers to (random:1,10))(set: $mine to (random: 1, $sides))she threw her dice on the table and I did the same hers showed (print: $hers) mine showed (print: $mine) (if: $hers > $mine)["I win, which means I live and you die"]\ (elseif: $hers is $mine)["a draw"]\ (else:)["you win, which means you live and I die"] "so, what does that mean?" "it means what I said" (if: $die is "big")["but I chose a bigger die, so I had a better chance of winning" "that doesn't mean anything, except that maybe you're smarter than me because you chose a bigger die when death was on the line"]\ (elseif: $die is "small")["but I chose a smaller die, so I had a worse chance of winning" "that doesn't mean anything, except that maybe you're an idiot because you chose a smaller die when death was on the line"]\ (else:)["but I chose a random die, so I had a worse chance of winning" "that doesn't mean anything, except that maybe you're an idiot because you chose a random die when death was on the line"] "so when's it going to happen - the death, I mean?" "who knows? could be years from now" "I thought you had magic powers?" "yeah, but I'm not gonna look that one up, because, well, come on" [["what's this about?"]]

"well, games are a metaphor for life, numnuts" "a metaphor how?" "alright lemme get my lecturer hat on" she put on an invisible hat "the reason people like little games of chance is because it gives them a way to think about death in a safe context" "is it?" "sure - playing is an evolutionary behaviour we developed because it helps us understand the world - games are a type of play - games are about learning" "ok..." "games of pure chance are the purest metaphor for life, because winning is living and losing is death. if I get a big number, I win, and I live. if I get a small number, I lose, and I die" "you don't mean literally" "when we play a game of chance, we're learning that sometimes you live and sometimes you die and you can't control which one you get, and we enjoy it because our brains are hard-wired to enjoy anything that gives us an evolutionary upper hand, and look - you want to understand the world so you can live more or die less, right?" "I suppose?" "so the randomness in games of chance helps us understand death, because it gives us like a tiny miniature version of it" I thought about it for a moment [[I think I agree]] [[I think I disagree]]

"good - so hopefully that helps you with your problem, anyway" "I don't know if it did or not" "well, not my problem - if that's everything, I'm gonna go take a nap" she got up and walked towards the fire exit at the back of the room [["see you round"]] [["wait - you didn't tell me anything about the ghosts"|"I need help with the ghost problem"]]

"well, not my problem - if that's everything, I'm gonna go take a nap" she got up and walked towards the fire exit at the back of the room [["see you round"]] [["wait - you didn't tell me anything about the ghosts"|"I need help with the ghost problem"]]

"bye now" she got up and went behind a curtain "hey what about that trip you mentioned on the phone" [[the dog barked]]

outside the window of the shop, the three ghosts stood in a line, like they wanted to see what I'd made of all that (link:"the fat one made a face that said 'it's all nonsense'")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"teller ghost init")] (link:"the thin one locked eyes with the dog, which was barking its ass off")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"teller ghost init")] (link:"the skeleton one rattled a finger up and down its ribcage")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"teller ghost init")]

my sleep cycle was almost completely out of whack by that point so by the time I arrived it was almost getting dark(set: $background to "null")(set: $backgroundchanged to true) the streetlights hadn't come on yet the allotments were squeezed into a narrow cutting where I figured there must have once been a railway line off in the distance, I heard a dog barking as I trod down the muddy path between patches of marrows and carrots and past neat little sheds, I thought I saw the ghosts up ahead of me [[I turned back]] [[I kept following them]]

they walked close together in a line - the skeleton led, followed by the fat one and then the thin one they were sure footed but I stumbled as I tried to keep up eventually they veered off the central path between two small sheds - a dark, narrow passage [[I kept following]] [[I turned back]]

I turned and walked back towards the entrance after a few moments I spotted a bloke with wiry hair and wellies he squinted at me curiously as I walked by "you looking for something?" [[um... I...|talk start]]

after leading me on a mazelike route they came to a stop by an overgrown patch with a solitary plastic lawn chair and a spade sticking up like a grave marker the thin ghost stood knee-deep in weeds, making a soft keening the fat ghost sat in the chair and looked up at the sky the skeleton knelt down in the thicket so only his head was visible for once, they didn't seem to want anything from me [[I waited]] [[I turned back]]

a dog was barking, nearer at hand now starlight glinted on the shovel (mouseover: "shovel")[I felt compelled to touch it ](mouseover: "touch it")[I tightened my fingers around the handle ](mouseover: "the handle")[It would have felt to good to yank it from the ground...] (mouseover: "the ground...")[imagine the soil scraping across the blade, the rasping sound...] (mouseover: "rasping sound...")[(link:"I pulled...")[(goto: "dogs")] (live: 2s)[(link:"I tore myself away and ran")[(goto: "fear")](stop:)]]

(set: $doggos to true)and out of the ground came a hissing noise, and the sound of barking grew louder, and then three ghostly dogs came bounding out of the earth(set: $clues to it + (a:"dog")) a fat dog (set: $fat_ghost_pleased to true) a thin dog (set: $thin_ghost_pleased to true) a skeleton dog (set: $skeleton_ghost_pleased to true) and the six ghosts laughed silently and rolled around on the ground with their dogs tears ran down the face of the thin ghost as he wrapped his arms around the thin dog's neck and hugged it why had he buried his dog in the allotment? I don't know [[I felt like I was intruding so I left them to it|I turned back]]

I hustled away all panicky and as I squeezed back onto the main path I walked straight into a wiry-haired man in a pair of wellies "woah, woah, slow down, it's not a race" he squinted at me [[I was glad to see a living human|talk start]]

"I think what happened to him was sad, and I don't just mean how he died, but also what happened before" I didn't want to interrupt so I sat on a rickety bench and let the man talk "you know, he spent his whole life wishing things were different, but never lifted a finger to change anything... like, one day, he comes in here all excited because someone down the pub had told him all about this island off to the north west of scotland called benbecula, and how wonderful it sounded, and how he wanted to visit it"(set: $clues to it + (a:"benbecula")) "did he ever visit it?" "no, he didn't, he just said he was too busy, but I knew him, he wasn't busy at all" I thought about that for a moment - it seemed important (if: $clues contains "treatment")["he died of untreated cancer, right?"](else:)["do you know how he died?"] "aye, he got the cancer, and wouldn't let them do jack shit about it, so he wasted away and lost his mind and died all alone"(set: $clues to it + (a:"treatment")) [[why did he do that?]] [[that's awful]] (if: $clues contains "dog")[(linkgoto: "didn't he have a dog?")]

"because he didn't think he was worth saving, probably" he shook his head "like I say, a sad bloke - and his dog was dead" "oh" "rumour has it he buried the dog here" (if: $doggos is true)[I suppressed a smile](else:)[I wondered if that's where the ghosts had been going] "course I wouldn't mind it if he had - good for the soil, probably, the nitrates" he drank the last of his tea "poor sod" he looked at his watch "right, I'm closing up, so you'd best be off out of here" [[I said thanks for the tea and started walking towards the exit]]

"everything alright there? you look all shaken up" "no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine" "so what are you doing here?" didn't seem much point in being coy "do you know a man named steve who used to have an allotment here?" "oh, steve, yes, I knew him, quiet bloke, millwall fan - you a relative?" "sort of" "you poor thing, you look exhausted - here, let me make you a cup of tea and we can talk about him" he led me to one of the sheds and opened it and flicked a switch and it was suddenly warm with pink fairy lights "milk and sugar?" he boiled the kettle [[both|tea]] [[just milk|tea]] [[just sugar|tea]] [[I'll just take it black, thanks|tea]]

"right answer" he made two the same and handed one to me "so, steve, eh?" "I'm trying to get a sense of what he was like" "weren't you related?" "um, yeah... but I never really knew him" "well, I knew him, sort of - what do you want to know?" [[what did you think of him?]]

the man shrugged "I think he always knew he'd go that way, he smoked like the clappers, and he wouldn't have liked all the hard work of the chemo and all" "did he have a job?" "you know, I never thought to ask" "me neither" he finished his tea "right, I'm closing up, so you'd best be off out of here" [[I said thanks for the tea and started walking towards the exit]]

"he did, a few years ago, but it had to be put down, which was terrible for him because it was basically his only family at that point, except this daughter he had who never called and some other kids he hadn't seen in years - rumour has it he buried the dog here, you know" (if: $doggos is true)[I suppressed a smile](else:)[I wondered if that's where the ghosts had been going] "course I wouldn't mind it if he had - good for the soil, probably, the nitrates" he drank the last of his tea "poor sod" he looked at his watch "right, I'm closing up, so you'd best be off out of here" [[I said thanks for the tea and started walking towards the exit]]

(if: $doggos)[the ghosts fell into step beside me as I neared the gate they seemed pleased the dogs weren't with them - perhaps they had to stay with the grave while the ghosts had to stay with the car or something I still didn't really know how all that worked in any case, the ghosts seemed cheerful and they side-eyed me as we walked towards the car (link:"the fat one whistled an aimless tune")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"allotment ghost init")] (link:"the thin one looked at the stars")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"allotment ghost init")] (link:"the skeleton one lit a cigarette with a sliver of spectral fire")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"allotment ghost init")]](else:)[the ghosts fell into step beside me as I neared the gate they seemed as sullen as ever (link:"the fat one was smoking two cigarettes and crying softly")[(set: $ghost to "fat")(goto:"allotment ghost init")] (link:"the thin one clenched and unclenched his fists")[(set: $ghost to "thin")(goto:"allotment ghost init")] (link:"the skeleton one just shook its head over and over and over")[(set: $ghost to "skeleton")(goto:"allotment ghost init")]]

"I thought I'd swing by and..." "yeah, talk about ghosts, I get it, snore" she smiled "how are you holding up?" [["fine, I think"]] [["still not feeling any strong emotions"]] [["pretty distressed, still"]]

{(if: $ghost is "fat")[ <img src = "images/Ghost1_small.png" alt = "boo" class = "ghost"> <img src = "images/Ghost1_SmallWobble.gif" alt = "boo" class = "ghostwobble"> ] (if: $ghost is "thin")[<img src = "images/Ghost2_small.png" alt = "boo" class = "ghost"> <img src = "images/Ghost2_SmallWobble.gif" alt = "boo" class = "ghostwobble">] (if: $ghost is "skeleton")[<img src = "images/Ghost3_small.png" alt = "boo" class = "ghost"> <img src = "images/Ghost3_SmallWobble.gif" alt = "boo" class = "ghostwobble">] (if: $title is true)[ <script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('blackbg')</script> <script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('smol')</script> ](else:)[ (if: $backgroundchanged is true)[ (if: $background is "null")[(either:"<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('g1')</script>","<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('g2')</script>","<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('g3')</script>","<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('g4')</script>")] (if: $background is "fairground")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('fairground')</script>] (if: $background is "marshes")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('marshes')</script>] (if: $background is "benbecula")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('benbecula')</script>] (if: $background is "campsite")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('campsite')</script>] (if: $background is "fortunetellersshop")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('fortunetellersshop')</script>] (if: $background is "house")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('house')</script>] (if: $background is "margate")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('margate')</script>] (if: $background is "pub")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('pub')</script>] (if: $background is "restaurant")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('restaurant')</script>] (if: $background is "car")[<script>$('tw-story').removeClass().addClass('car')</script>] (if: $background is not "null")[ <script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('invis')</script> (live: 6s)[<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('tw-passage')</script>(stop:)]] (set: $backgroundchanged to false)] ]}

[[start|Invocation]] [[credits]] this game looks best in fullscreen, which you can achieve by pressing <i>f11</i> on windows or <i>cmd-shift-f</i> on mac<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('tw-passage')</script>

(set: $ghost to "fat")the fat ghost lolled its head towards me and looked at me with sightless eyes and started talking with a voice like a landline phone <i>... so it was for a royal wedding, you know, that's why they made it, and we used to love the weddings, when the kids were little</i> a sour smell of old burnt carpet <i>... and there was this little girl on the telly from Cornwall I think it was, and one of the girls asked if she was the one who</i> [[keep eating]] [[nope nope nope]]

"suit youself" he returned to his plate of stuff [[I looked at the menu]]

and then I had to deal with the fact that I had work in two days and I was all the way in some place called benbecula and if I was gonna turn up on time and not be a stinking human wreck I pretty much had to head home right there and then, so I did [[I drove all night]]

(either:"Sea Fever by John Masefield I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky, And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by; And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking, And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking. I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied; And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying, And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying. I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life, To the gull’s way and the whale’s way where the wind’s like a whetted knife; And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover, And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.","On Eastnor Knoll by John Masefield Silent are the woods, and the dim green boughs are Hushed in the twilight: yonder, in the path through The apple orchard, is a tired plough-boy Calling the cows home. A bright white star blinks, the pale moon rounds, but Still the red, lurid wreckage of the sunset Smoulders in smoky fire, and burns on The misty hill-tops. Ghostly it grows, and darker, the burning Fades into smoke, and now the gusty oaks are A silent army of phantoms thronging A land of shadows.") [[later that day, I got in the car]]<script>$('tw-passage').removeClass().addClass('poem')</script>

"that's what I like about you - you're an idiot" she rattled the die in her hands "come on, if you don't play I can't make the nuanced point I'm driving at here" (link: "I took a big die from the bowl")[(set: $sides to 15)(set: $die to "big")(goto: "dice game")] (link: "I took a small die from the bowl")[(set: $die to "small")(set: $sides to 4)(goto: "dice game")] (link: "I took a die from the bowl without looking")[(set: $die to "random")(set: $sides to (random:1,25))(goto: "dice game")]

{(set: $output_text to "") (set: $exit to "[[after that, I sat on the beach and drank a beer]]") (set: $i to 0) (set: $goal to 5) (set: $a to true) (set: $b to true) (set: $c to true) (set: $d to true) (set: $e to true) (goto: "margate content")}

[]<ghost|[I]<word| (click: "I")[(replace: ?word)[I took](set: $ghost to "fat")(replace: ?ghost)[<i>... where's mine, that's what I'd like to know, on a nice day, lovely</i> ]] (click: "took")[(replace: ?word)[I took my](set: $ghost to "thin")(replace: ?ghost)[<i>... (display: "thin ghost short")</i> ]] (click: "my")[(replace: ?word)[I took my time](set: $ghost to "skeleton")(replace: ?ghost)[(live: 0.3s)[(set: $word to "lovely")<i>... (display: "skeleton ghost")</i>] ]] (click: "time")[(set: $ghost to "")(goto:"the beach")]

{(set:$name to (passage:)'s name) (replace: ?output)[$output_text] }I asked about them in the amusement arcades I asked about them at draper's windmill I asked about them by the lido I asked about them at the turner gallery I asked about them at the hornby visitor centre []<output|(if: $i is 5)[ (linkgoto: "after that, I sat on the beach and drank a beer")]{ (if: $i<($goal+1))[ (if: $a)[(click: "I asked about them in the amusement arcades")[(set: $text to "none of the haggard teenagers manning machines recognised my description I found a claw machine full of identical dice to the ones hanging in the car it didn't tell me much then the thin ghost kicked a penny shover and the alarm went off so I left")(set: $a to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $b)[(click: "I asked about them at draper's windmill")[(set: $text to "it was shut the fat ghost nodded appreciatively at the herbaceous border")(set: $b to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $c)[(click: "I asked about them by the lido")[(set: $text to "I couldn't even work out who I'd ask at the lido but there was some kind of open air theatre thing about sea monsters happening so I watched that the skeleton ghost pranced along behind the people in homemade monster costumes")(set: $c to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $d)[(click: "I asked about them at the turner gallery")[(set: $text to "the receptionist listened and shook his head and then convinced me that I might enjoy the exhibition I sort of got lost in it but I don't know if I actually liked it or not for twenty minutes I didn't even see the ghosts until I bumped into the thin one hiding in a toilet cubicle")(set: $d to false)(display: "next")]] (if: $e)[(click: "I asked about them at the hornby visitor centre")[(set: $text to "I sort of liked the hornby visitor centre I thought it would be kind of drab but actually I really liked all the little trains and things didn't solve my ghost mystery there but that was ok")(set: $e to false)(display: "next")]]]}

"it's pretty late... I've got to drive home" "ok, but first I think your friends are here"(set: $clues to it + (a:"steve")) [[as I turned to look, the chef receded into the shadows|outro restaurant]]

"right you are" [[before I left I used the loo|I went to the loo]] [[I put my coat on and stood up|end of chef]]

down near the floor by the sink someone had written SATOR AREPO TENET OPERA ROTAS I gazed at it for a little while someone came out of a cubicle and nodded towards it "you know, the chef was in here staring at that the other day and he was just so confused by it they had to practically pull him away and afterwards he was dizzy saying things like 'but if you go one way… and then backwards… but how do you know which was is…' and it was very strange" I washed my hands and got ready to leave [[the chef said he was sorry to see me go|end of chef]]

I wanted to enjoy this one, but something wasn't quite right about it (set: $toast to true) the cheese didn't taste of anything and the bread had far too much flavour somehow it was just really really bad I looked around the other people in the restaurant I thought about steve eating this strange and awful food I looked at the expressions of the people sat at tables and wondered what expression steve wore when he ate here what were they thinking about? "hey, do you want to know what they're thinking about?" I turned and looked at the chef [[that was spooky]]

it wasn't even a very good one rubbery cheese with pools of grease beading on the surface slightly burned toast [[I ate it so as not to upset the chef]] [[I didn't do that]]

while I forced it down, I looked around the other people in the restaurant(set: $toast to true) I thought about steve eating this strange and awful food I looked at the expressions of the people sat at tables and wondered what expression steve wore when he ate here what were they thinking about? "hey, do you want to know what they're thinking about?" I turned and looked at the chef [[that was spooky]]

instead, I looked around the other people in the restaurant I thought about steve eating this strange and awful food I looked at the expressions of the people sat at tables and wondered what expression steve wore when he ate here what were they thinking about?(set: $toast to false) "hey, do you want to know what they're thinking about?" I turned and looked at the chef [[that was spooky]]

"how did you know I was thinking that?" "I was just looking at your face and you looked like you were thinking about what other customers were thinking about" "that's incredibly perceptive" "well, you know what they say - the chef has all the best tunes" he paused "no, that's not it..." he cracked his knuckles "anyway, how about a little bet? I'll give you a tenner if you can guess what that bloke kenny is thinking" kenny looked up at the sound of his name and did a little wave, and then looked back down at his plate of purplish noodles [[alright then]] [[no, I think I'm gonna go|leave]]

I studied kenny's face he looked sort of misty-eyed he chewed slowly his expression was neutral and didn't change much "what's he thinking about, do you reckon?" [[his dinner]] [[do you know?]] [[there's no way to guess]]

(either: "my", "your", "my old", "the chef's", "the devil's", "my wife's", "my recent", "the prime minister's", "my son's", "my daughter's", "my father's", "my mother's", "her", "his") (either:"food", "car", "house", "future", "wishes", "bank account", "dinner", "history", "secrets", "dilemmas", "hopes", "fears", "dreams", "prospects", "desires", "preferences")

"I doubt it - people don't come here to think about their food" he called out "hey, kenny, penny for your thoughts?" kenny looked up "I'm thinking about (display: "kenny"), and (display: "kenny")" the chef shrugged "you don't have the knack, I suppose" [[I'm gonna go|leave]]

"course I do - he's thinking about (display: "kenny")" "you're certain?" "yep - hey, kenny, penny for your thoughts?" kenny looked up "I'm thinking about (display: "kenny"), and (display: "kenny")" the chef shrugged "well, even the devil makes mistakes" [[I'm gonna go|leave]]

"psh, not with that attitude - I can tell he's thinking about (display: "kenny")" "you're certain?" "yep - hey, kenny, penny for your thoughts?" kenny looked up "I'm thinking about (display: "kenny"), and (display: "kenny")" the chef shrugged "well, even the devil makes mistakes" [[I'm gonna go|leave]]