The Forgotten Tavern

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Location: <<print $locationdisp>> Status: <<print $statusoption>><<if $locationdisp == "The Otherside">> <<set $lifepercent = $player.hitpoints>><<set $lifepercent /= $player.maxhp>><<if ($lifepercent * 100) > 75>>You're feeling energized and ready to take on anything.<<elseif ($lifepercent * 100) > 20>>You feel pretty bruised, but ready to take on things that aren't too demanding.<<else>><p style="color:red"><b>You're quite hurt. Fleeing is always an option.</b></p><</if>> Weapon: <<print $player.weapon>> Armor: <<print $player.armor>><<if $potions == "on" and $potioncount > 0>> You have a healing potion.<</if>> Loads of vegetables: <<print $vegcount>><</if>> <<if $tlevel > 1>><<print (1 + $custcount)>> satisfied customers.<</if>> <<popup "About this Game" "about">>

<<if $combatstart == "death">>Diana prepares herself by taking a deep breath. <<print $monster.intro>> <<button [[This should be quick.->combatloop]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $endgame == "on">><<print $monster.intro>> Good luck with that. <<button [[This should end well.->combatloop]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "training">>Max and Diana slam the portal shut behind you. You’re reasonably certain that they’ll let you back in once you’ve completed their task. Oddly, the tavern itself isn’t present on this side of the portal. The doorway is set in the side of a towering black cliff that stretches off into the distance. It’s just you and the vegetation now. Then you spot your opponent. <<print $monster.intro>> It's not the most noble adversary, but it seems to be what Max and Diana were looking for. <<if $capable == "yes">>This won't be a fight. It'll be a straight-up massacre. <</if>><<if $capable == "no">>You had your doubts when Max told you to vanquish this opponent, but you're pretty sure you can toss this salad. <</if>><<if $capable == "why">>Now you understand why Max was being so vague. This could get pretty weird. <</if>><<button [[Time to get started.->combatloop]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "expert">><<set $monsterenc = $monsterset[0]>><<include $monsterenc>><<print $monster.intro>> <<button [[Time to bring the pain.->combatloop]]>><</button>><</if>>

<<set $btcount += 1>><<set _phitroll to (random(100)+$player.accuracy)>><<set _mhitroll to random(100)>><<if _phitroll <= $monster.dodgenum>><<print $monster.phitn>>. <</if>><<if _phitroll > $monster.dodgenum>><<print $monster.phity>>. <<set $monster.hitpoints -= $player.dealsdmg>> <</if>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= 0>><<print $monster.winmsg>>. <<button [[Collect your winnings->winstate]] >><<set $cwins += 1>><<set $vegcount += 1>><</button>> <</if>><<if $monster.hitpoints >= 1>><<print $monster.windup>><<if _mhitroll <= $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.mhitn>>. <</if>><<if _mhitroll > $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.mhity>>. <<set $player.hitpoints -= $monster.dealsdmg>> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints <= 0>><<include "playerdeath">> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints > 0>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= $player.dealsdmg>><<print $monster.neardeath>> <</if>><<if $btcount >= $monster.overdrive>><b><<print $monster.odmsg>></b> What do you do? <<button [[Attack->moverdrive]] >><</button>> <<button [[Smash Attack->smash]] >><</button>> <<button [[Dodge->dodge]] >><</button>> <<button [[Flee->losestate]] >><<set $closses += 1>><</button>><</if>><<if $btcount lt $monster.overdrive>>What do you do? <<button [[Attack->combatloop]] >><</button>> <<button [[Smash Attack->smash]] >><</button>> <<button [[Dodge->dodge]] >><</button>> <<button [[Flee->losestate]]>><<set $closses += 1>><</button>><</if>><</if>><</if>>

<<if $endgame == "on">>Your timing has ended up synchronizing with Diana's. You both end up victorious. <<button [[Congratulations.->absolutefinal]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "training">>That wasn't so bad. You could see yourself doing this regularly. <<button [[Go back through the Gateway and report your success.->countscore]]>><<set $statusoption = "salad tosser">><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "expert">><<set $btcount = 0>><<if ($cwins+$closses) > 4>><<set $scorekeep = $vegcount>>The sun is low on the horizon, and you remember Max's warning about getting caught on the wrong side of the Gateway after dark. <<else>>You can hunt more vegetables, or you can rest and nurse your wounds. <<if $potions == "on" and $potioncount > 0 and ($lifepercent * 100) > 74>> You are in pretty good shape right now. You have a flask of Diana's brew, but it would be a waste if you drank it.<<elseif $potions == "on" and $potioncount > 0 and ($lifepercent * 100) < 75>> You have a flask of Diana's brew. Drinking it would help you recover faster.<<elseif $potions == "on" and $potioncount < 1>> You had a flask of Diana's brew, but you already drank it.<</if>> You can also call it a day and return with the vegetables you have acquired.<<if $vegcount > $nightguests>> It seems like you've collected enough vegetables for tonight's guests, so that might be a good idea if you don't want to gather more.<</if>> <<button [[Hunt->pickafight]]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><</button>> <<button [[Rest->reststate]]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><</button>><<if $potions == "on" and $potioncount > 0 and ($lifepercent * 100) < 75>> <<button [[Drink->drinkpotion]]>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount -= 1>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><</button>><</if>><</if>> <<button [[End the day->countscore]]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><<set $scorekeep to $vegcount>><</button>><</if>>

<<if $endgame == "on">>Things... don't look great. <<button [[No regrets.->finalpursuit]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "training">>Let's chalk that up as a loss and agree to never speak of it again. You're going to have to collect some spinach before you can go back to Max and Diana.<<elseif $combatstart == "death">>You really had no hope of standing against Diana. <<elseif $combatstart == "expert">>Let's chalk that up as a loss and agree to never speak of it again. Everything you have collected has been lost.<<set $vegcount = 0>> Your vegetable sack is empty. On the plus side, you've now got some time to stop and catch your breath. You spend some time resting and recovering.<</if>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $btcount = 0>><<if ($cwins+$closses) > 4>> The sun is low on the horizon, and you remember Max's warning about getting caught on the wrong side of the Gateway after dark. [[Time to head back->countscore]].<<elseif $combatstart == "death">> If Diana has but one regret, it’s that she didn’t kill you outside, where cleaning up would have been simpler. <b>THE END</b><<elseif $combatstart == "expert">> <<button [[Back to hunting.->pickafight]]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><</button>><<elseif $combatstart == "training">> <<button [[Let's try again.->pickafight]]>><</button>><</if>>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "a cluster of surly potatoes", strikenum: 38, dodgenum: 14, hitpoints: 9, dealsdmg: 1, overdrive: 3, intro: "You have found a cluster of surly potatoes. They're not going to come with you quietly, so you'll need to convince them.", losemsg: "You have been beaten by the cluster of surly potatoes", windup: "The surly potatoes launch themselves at you, ", mhitn: "but you avoid getting hurt", mhity: "and you are hurt by the impact", odmsg: "The snarls of the surly potatoes have increased in their intensity. It might be a good time to dodge.", msmashcounter: "You avoid the charging potatoes and sweep through their ranks with a counterattack, stunning several of them", msmashn: "You are almost mobbed by the surly potatoes, but you manage to get out of the way", msmashy: "You are mobbed by the cluster of surly potatoes. That will leave a mark", neardeath: "You have knocked several of the potatoes out of the fight. Another good hit might end this. ", odcancel: "You and the potatoes put everything you have into your next attacks. It ends up being kind of funny that you fail to damage each other", pdodgeprep: "You watch the potatoes carefully and keep your distance", pdodgen: "but some of their strikes still manage to connect", pdodgey: "which pays off. You avoid taking damage from the potatoes", phitn: "The potatoes scatter and avoid your attack", phity: "You hurt some of the potatoes", psmashy: "You clobber the potatoes", psmashcritfail: "You fumble your attack, and the potatoes strike while you try to recover", winmsg: "As the final potato drops to the ground, their snarls fall silent. In triumph, you scoop them into your sack", }>>

<<set $btcount += 1>><<set _phitroll to (random(100)+$player.accuracy-10)>><<set _mhitroll to random(100)>><<set _pdamage to ($player.dealsdmg*1.5)>><<if $btcount gt $monster.overdrive>><<print $monster.odcancel>>. It'll take a moment before you can try that again. What do you do? <<button [[Attack->combatloop]] >><</button>> <<button [[Dodge->dodge]] >><</button>> <<button [[Flee->losestate]] >><<set $closses += 1>><</button>> <</if>><<if $btcount <= $monster.overdrive>><<if _phitroll <= 0>><<print $monster.psmashcritfail>>.<<set $player.hitpoints -= $monster.dealsdmg>><<if $player.hitpoints <= 0>> <<include "playerdeath">> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints > 0>> It'll take a moment before you can try that again. What do you do? <<button [[Attack->combatloop]] >><</button>> <<button [[Dodge->dodge]] >><</button>> <<button [[Flee->losestate]] >><<set $closses += 1>><</button>> <</if>><</if>><<if _phitroll >= 1>><<if _phitroll <= $monster.dodgenum>><<print $monster.phitn>>. <</if>><<if _phitroll > $monster.dodgenum>><<print $monster.psmashy>>.<<set $monster.hitpoints -= _pdamage>> <</if>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= 0>><<print $monster.winmsg>>. <<button [[Collect your winnings->winstate]] >><<set $cwins += 1>><<set $vegcount += 1>><</button>> <</if>><<if $monster.hitpoints > 0>><<print $monster.windup>><<if _mhitroll <= $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.mhitn>>. <</if>><<if _mhitroll > $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.mhity>>. <<set $player.hitpoints -= $monster.dealsdmg>> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints <= 0>><<include "playerdeath">> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints > 0>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= $player.dealsdmg>><<print $monster.neardeath>> <</if>>You need to decide on your next move, but it'll be a moment before you can try another powerful attack. What do you do? <<button [[Attack->combatloop]] >><</button>> <<button [[Dodge->dodge]] >><</button>> <<button [[Flee->losestate]] >><<set $closses += 1>><</button>><</if>><</if>><</if>><</if>>

<<set $player= { groupname: "scrappy adventurer", weapon: "wooden mallet", armor: "cloth apron", strikenum: 50, accuracy: 0, maxhp: 5, hitpoints: 5, dealsdmg: 4, overdrive: 2, mnightsreqd: 1, storelimit: 1, }>>

<<set $btcount += 1>><<set _mhitroll to (random(100) - 50)>><<if $btcount gt $monster.overdrive>><<print $monster.msmashcounter>>.<<set $monster.hitpoints -= $player.dealsdmg>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= 0>> <<print $monster.winmsg>>. <<button [[Collect your winnings->winstate]] >><<set $cwins += 1>><<set $vegcount += 1>><</button>> <</if>><</if>><<if $btcount <= $monster.overdrive>><<print $monster.pdodgeprep>>, <<if _mhitroll <= $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.pdodgey>>.<</if>><<if _mhitroll > $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.pdodgen>>. <<set $player.hitpoints -= ($monster.dealsdmg*0.5)>> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints <= 0>><<include "playerdeath">> <</if>><</if>><<if $player.hitpoints >= 1>><<if $monster.hitpoints > 0>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= $player.dealsdmg>> <<print $monster.neardeath>> <</if>>You don't have enough room to dodge another strike. What do you do? <<button [[Attack->combatloop]] >><</button>> <<button [[Smash Attack->smash]] >><</button>> <<button [[Flee->losestate]] >><<set $closses += 1>><</button>> <</if>><</if>>

<<set $btcount += 1>><<set _phitroll to (random(100)+$player.accuracy)>><<set _mhitroll to (random(100) - 10)>><<if _mhitroll <= $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.msmashn>>. <</if>><<if _mhitroll > $monster.strikenum>><<print $monster.msmashy>>. <<set $player.hitpoints -= ($monster.dealsdmg * 1.5)>> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints <= 0>><<include "playerdeath">> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints >= 1>> <<if _phitroll <= $monster.dodgenum>> <<print $monster.phitn>>. <</if>><<if _phitroll > $monster.dodgenum>> <<print $monster.phity>>. <<set $monster.hitpoints -= $player.dealsdmg>> <</if>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= 0>><<print $monster.winmsg>>. <<button [[Collect your winnings->winstate]] >><<set $cwins += 1>><<set $vegcount += 1>><</button>> <</if>><<if $player.hitpoints > 0>><<if $monster.hitpoints >= 1>><<if $monster.hitpoints <= $player.dealsdmg>> <<print $monster.neardeath>> <</if>> What do you do? <<button [[Attack->combatloop]] >><</button>> <<button [[Smash Attack->smash]] >><</button>> <<button [[Dodge->dodge]] >><</button>> <<button [[Flee->losestate]] >><<set $closses += 1>><</button>><</if>><</if>><</if>>

<<print $monster.losemsg>>. It's kind of embarrassing. <<button [[You lost the fight.->losestate]]>><<set $closses += 1>><</button>>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "a pack of rowdy carrots", strikenum: 36, dodgenum: 16, hitpoints: 10, dealsdmg: 3, overdrive: 2, intro: "A pack of rowdy carrots are tracing rude designs on the ground. You prepare to teach them some manners.", losemsg: "You are filled with shame as the jeering carrots celebrate their victory", windup: "The rowdy carrots strike at you from many directions, ", mhitn: "but you avoid the attacks", mhity: "and they overwhelm your defenses", odmsg: "The rowdy carrots are looking shifty. They might try something unspeakably rude.", msmashcounter: "That was close! The carrots tried to do something exceptionally undignified, but you dodged and countered it successfully", msmashn: "The rowdy carrots fumble their attack. It's best not to think about what might have happened if they were successful", msmashy: "The rowdy carrots damage you with an attack that is both creative and degrading. You feel a burning sense of shame that makes the pain more acute", neardeath: "There's not much fight left in the few carrots that are still standing. ", odcancel: "There appears to have been a mutual miscalculation. The carrots were launching themselves high, to land a hit on a taller opponent. You went low, because the carrots are smaller targets. In the end, nobody was hurt", pdodgeprep: "You keep a wary eye on the carrots", pdodgen: "but they surprise you with some rapid attacks", pdodgey: "and you avoid their strikes", phitn: "The carrots dodge your attack", phity: "You strike the carrots", psmashy: "You smash the carrots with a powerful attack", psmashcritfail: "You lose your balance, and the carrots hit you with an attack", winmsg: "The carrots have all gone limp. You gather them up and count it as a victory", }>>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "a group of poorly domesticated onions", strikenum: 34, dodgenum: 18, hitpoints: 12, dealsdmg: 2, overdrive: 4, intro: "You discover a group of poorly domesticated onions. They are using language so vulgar that it makes your eyes water.", losemsg: "As you fall to the ground, defeated, the group of poorly domesticated onions shout their mocking taunts at you", windup: "The onions come at you in an untamed rush, ", mhitn: "but they miss you by a narrow margin", mhity: "and you take some damage", odmsg: "The onions seem more agitated than before. This group is about to get violent.", msmashcounter: "You're prepared for the group of onions. When they rush you, it's easy to dodge and strike back with a counterattack", msmashn: "The onions rush you, but their timing is off. You avoid getting hurt", msmashy: "The onions rush you, and you get hurt pretty badly", neardeath: "The onions are looking pretty beat up. One appears to be limping, and none of them seem able to fight for much longer. ", odcancel: "You and the onions start roaring loudly, building energy for powerful strikes. However, your noises are so ferocious that you startle each other. Nobody completes an attack", pdodgeprep: "You prepare to dodge the next attack from the onions", pdodgen: "but you are too slow. They land a series of painful strikes", pdodgey: "and you manage to avoid getting hurt", phitn: "The onions deflect your attack", phity: "You have hurt the onions", psmashy: "You deal a solid blow to the onions, causing some serious damage", psmashcritfail: "The onions move before you can gather yourself to strike. They land some solid hits on you", winmsg: "Your final strike has brought the onions to heel. You load them into your sack", }>>

<<if $combatstart == "training">><<set $cwins to 0>><<set $closses to 0>><<set $vegcount = 0>>Back on your own side of the portal, the spinach is much less lively. It's a vibrant shade of green that positively <i>radiates</i> nutrition, but it's totally inert. Max and Diana are very excited to receive it.<<set $tlevel = 1>> <<button [[Head back upstairs.->dayendtally]]>><<set $scorekeep to 0>><<set $locationdisp = "Dining Room">><</button>><<else>><<set $cwins to 0>><<set $closses to 0>><<set $vegcount = 0>><<set $vegstore += $scorekeep>><<if $scorekeep > 4>>You're bringing in quite a haul of vegetables. No oat paste tonight!<<elseif $scorekeep > 2>>You're bringing back a moderate amount of vegetables for tonight's guests.<<elseif $scorekeep > 0>>You have some vegetables to show for your efforts, and it should be fine if you don't see a big crowd of visitors this evening.<<else>>It has been a long day, but you don't have anything to show for it.<</if>> <<button [[Head upstairs and get ready for tonight's guests.->dayendtally]]>><<set $scorekeep to 0>><<set $locationdisp = "Dining Room">><<set $weatherpool.shuffle()>><</button>><</if>>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "a gang of unruly garlic", strikenum: 32, dodgenum: 20, hitpoints: 10, dealsdmg: 2, overdrive: 2, intro: "A gang of unruly garlic is loitering in this part of the garden. It's time for some discipline.", losemsg: "The cruel laughter of the garlic rings in your ears as they knock you to the ground for the final time", windup: "The garlic moves to attack you, ", mhitn: "but you deflect the gang's clumsy efforts", mhity: "and you don't get out of the way fast enough", odmsg: "The garlic appears to be preparing an extra-powerful attack.", msmashcounter: "The unruly garlic bulbs have trouble working together. You avoid their attack and strike back before they can regroup", msmashn: "You avoid the gang's attack, which is lucky because it looked extra powerful", msmashy: "The gang of unruly garlic pummels you with a tremendous amount of force", neardeath: "Several of the garlic bulbs are visibly bruised. This fight may be almost over. ", odcancel: "You launch a flying windmill strike at the exact same moment that the garlic coordinates a series of sweeping leg whips. Nobody got hurt, and you will have to try something else", pdodgeprep: "You keep your distance from the garlic", pdodgen: "but they are deceptively fast. The gang hurts you", pdodgey: "and their attacks fail to connect", phitn: "You fail to hurt the garlic", phity: "You damage the garlic", psmashy: "You strike at the garlic with everything you have", psmashcritfail: "The bulbs of garlic weave around your attack and strike before you can recover", winmsg: "It was a tough fight, but the last bulb of garlic has fallen. You place them in your sack", }>>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "a bunch of turnip hooligans", strikenum: 30, dodgenum: 22, hitpoints: 9, dealsdmg: 7, overdrive: 1, intro: "You find a bunch of turnip hooligans intent on vandalizing the garden. You get ready to intervene.", losemsg: "The turnips decide that they're done with your unconscious body, and they shamble off", windup: "The turnips come at you swinging, ", mhitn: "but you dodge their attack", mhity: "and they do some damage", odmsg: "The turnip hooligans look like they are ready to launch a smash attack.", msmashcounter: "You avoid the powerful turnip attack and strike while they are recovering", msmashn: "Luckily for you, the turnips can't quite coordinate their assault. Their attacks don't do any damage", msmashy: "The turnips clobber you with a powerful series of attacks", neardeath: "The turnip hooligans are unsteady on their feet. You hope that your next hit will put them down for good. ", odcancel: "You start a clockwise attack at the exact same moment that the turnips begin their own clockwise attack. Momentum carries you around each other unharmed, and everyone looks ridiculous", pdodgeprep: "You warily circle the turnips", pdodgen: "but they move unexpectedly. You take damage from their attacks", pdodgey: "and dodge their attacks", phitn: "The turnip hooligans take no damage", phity: "The hooligans have taken some damage", psmashy: "Your powerful blow smashes into the turnip hooligans", psmashcritfail: "You trip over your own feet and get hit by the turnips", winmsg: "You have beaten every last one of the hooligans into submission. Time to put them in the sack", }>>

<<include "description">><<set $locationdisp to "Intro">><<set $statusoption to "TBD">><<set $weaponcrafted to "no">><<set $locatemax = ["maxcommonroom", "maxupstairs", "maxbackyard"]>><<set $locatediana = ["dianakitchen", "dianaporch", "dianacellar"]>><<set $merchadj = ["wandering", "skinny"]>><<set $merchgood = ["grain", "tobacco"]>><<set $merchtype = ["trader", "broker"]>><<set $monsterset = ["spinach", "potato", "spinach"]>><<set $touchedit = "no">><<set $guestpool = [1, 1, 1]>><<set $nightguests = $guestpool[0]>><<set $tlevel = 0>><<set $ugpoints = 0>><<set $custcount = 0>><<set $mnights = 0>><<set $callreaction = "notset">><<set $ambience = ["Your guest goes to bed early. The evening is uneventful, but your hospitality was appreciated.", "Max entertains your guest with some card tricks.", "Max and your guest discuss something in low tones. You think you hear someone mention the asparagus of the Sierra Madre."]>><<set $weapdisplay to "off">><<set $weatherpool = ["The atmosphere on the other side of the portal is starting to feel familiar. Maybe you're getting used to things on this side of the gateway.", "Today, everything on the other side of the portal feels unfamiliar. You may never get used to these trips through the gateway.", "When you look at how some of this growth developed, it looks like it started out with the orderly vegetation of a farm. It seems like it gradually turned into a jungle through neglect.", "As you look at the vibrant, dense undergrowth, you become convinced that this was originally a jungle. It looks like someone did an unsuccessful job of thinning it out and trying to start a farm.", "The sun is bright in the sky today, and the vegetation seems especially restless as it competes to absorb every last sunbeam.", "The sky is overcast and cloudy, but you can tell that the sun is somewhere up there. The diffuse light makes the plant life appear greener than normal.", "The air is warm and sticky today. Your apron is clinging to you uncomfortably, but you should probably keep wearing it for protection.", "The air today is cool and dry. It would be pleasant weather for sightseeing, if you didn't have a job to do.", "There's a pervading dampness on this side of the portal. It's almost like stepping into a rainforest.", "There's a nice breeze today. The air carries the smell of fresh growth.", "Things feel stagnant on this side of the gateway, almost swampy. That'll probably change tomorrow.", "You feel a surprising chill in the air. It feels like autumn is approaching, but it's the wrong time of year.", "You'd say it feels unseasonably warm on this side of the portal, but you're not certain that they go through normal seasons over here.", "The sky is a perfect shade of blue today. You could stare at it for hours.", "The sky is slate gray today, and not much to look at.", "The air is still today, and things on this side of the portal seem quiet.", "The atmosphere today is turbulent and charged with energy. Everything feels like it's in motion.", "You're surprised to find that the weather today is the same as it was yesterday. It shouldn’t interfere with your hunting.", "There's a patchy fog drifting through the air today. It's tougher to see into the distance, but it seems like sounds are amplified.", "Everything feels muted and washed out today. Colors, sounds, and even the smells. On the other hand, everything is usually so intense that this could just be more in line with reality.", "Big clouds keep moving in front of the sun, casting large shadows and drawing sharp boundaries between the realms of light and darkness.", "An uneasy feeling at the back of your neck makes you want to gather today's vegetables as quickly as possible.", "You feel energized today, but also calm. There's a comforting presence in the air that makes you want to stay on this side of the portal for a while.", "You can hear the far-off baying of some broccoli florets. It sounds like they're running down a cabbage.", "The eerie cries of wheatgrass echo in the distance."]>>Before we begin, I need you to be honest with me. What are you running from? <ul><li>[[Family expectations->choice][$statusoption = "Prodigal child"]] that you cannot possibly live up to.</li> <li>A [[criminal past->choice][$statusoption = "Criminal mastermind"]] full of shady accomplices and evil deeds.</li> <li>A [[jilted lover->choice][$statusoption = "Commitment-phobe"]] that you abandoned at the altar.</li></ul>I can keep it a secret between us. But I guess you could [[choose not to answer][$statusoption = "Menace to society"]].

Oh, it's all three? [[Yikes->choice]].

<<set $locationdisp to "Wilderness">><<set $motive = $statusoption>>Well, I won't judge. Not your <i>distant</i> past, anyway. Terrible choices from your more recent past have led you to this state: cold, wet, alone, and near death. You finally saw some lights in the forest and made your way towards them. You had hoped it was civilization, but now that you're closer, it's time to wonder whether "at death's door" is just a figure of speech. You may not have much time left for wondering. Some kind of structure is in the distant gloom. It's much too large to be a house. It's too small to be a fort. And its lights are not nearly as bright as you had originally thought. With a lurch and a groan, the last of your strength gives out. You fall face down in the mud. <<button [[Hope somebody finds you.->found]]>><</button>> <<button [[Resign yourself to death.->found]]>><</button>>

<i>Voices.</i> You can hear a man and a woman disagreeing, but not actually arguing. After a tense discussion, they lift you up and bring you inside. <i>Warmth.</i> You have been rescued by Max and Diana. Max is slim and talkative. Diana has dark hair, and an even darker expression on her face. They get you settled into a bed, under thick blankets. You're not going to die tonight. You should get some rest. You'll have an opportunity to explore when you wake up. <<button [[Wake up.->introupstairs]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Guest rooms">><<set $statusoption = "Uninvited guest">><</button>>

They say that you can't run from your problems, and they're right. <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>Your betrothed has a large family, and they've been out looking for you. They’re intent on dragging you back to the altar, dead or alive.<</if>><<if $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>Anyone with a list of shady accomplices and evil deeds that’s as long as yours will end up with a lot of people looking for them. Getting taken to prison would be a best-case scenario.<</if>><<if $motive == "Prodigal child">>Your family has spared no expense in tracking you down. You thought you could run from your responsibilities, but you were wrong.<</if>><<if $motive == "Menace to society">>Plenty of people with scores to settle have been actively looking for you. It seems like no time at all before they find you.<</if>> Things don't go so well. <b>THE END</b>

The days get longer and blander. You miss your old life. But you know that you could never return home to <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>go through with that marriage.<</if>><<if $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>risk having your criminal past, full of shady accomplices and evil deeds, finally catch up with you.<</if>><<if $motive == "Prodigal child">>live up to the family expectations that are too much for you to bear.<</if>><<if $motive == "Menace to society">>go through with the marriage while risking that your criminal past might catch up with you and trying to live up to the family expectations that are too much to bear.<</if>> You resign yourself to the most uneventful fate possible. <b>THE END</b>

You are in the upstairs guest rooms of a tavern. They are all small and sparsely furnished. Max is here, tidying up. You can [[talk to him->introtalkmax]]. From here you can: <<button [[Go downstairs.->downstairsintro]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Common room">><</button>> <<button [[Spend the day resting.->nightscene]]>><</button>>

You are downstairs in the common room, a key part of any self-respecting tavern. Apart from the existence of this room, you don't see many other signs of self respect. There are plenty of cobwebs, a generous layer of dust, and a long-neglected fireplace, but very little to suggest pride in the appearance of this establishment. From here you can go: <<button [[introupstairs<-Upstairs to the guest rooms]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Guest rooms">><</button>> <<button [[Out to the porch->frontporchintro]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Porch">><</button>>

A carved wooden sign declares that this is the "Inn of the Forgotten Radish." The weathered sign had been painted at some point in the distant past, and it hangs over a large, covered porch that is embarrassed to shelter a few crooked pine benches. A structure that might have been able to shelter horses is decomposing nearby. Diana is here, sharpening a vicious-looking set of knives and scanning the woods for activity. "[[Diana, can I ask you some questions?->introtalkdiana]]"<<if $touchedit == "yes">> You've probably seen everything that this place has to offer, and you're pretty worn out from your travels. You may want to head back upstairs and rest. You can go:<<else>> If you don't feel like talking to Diana, you can go:<</if>> <<button [[Inside to the common room->downstairsintro]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Common room">><</button>> <<button [[Around back to explore the property->introproperty]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Outbuildings">><</button>><<if $touchedit == "yes">> <<button [[Upstairs to rest->nightscene]]>><</button>> <</if>> You could also: <<button [[Try to leave all this behind.->firstexitcheck]]>><</button>>

"So," Diana observes, "You're still alive." What do you want to ask her? <ul><li>[[Who are you?->dianaself]]</li> <li>[[Where am I?->dianatavern]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Max?->dianamax]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->dianadoing]]</li></ul> <<button [[End the Conversation->frontporchintro]]>><</button>>

<b>"This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?"</b> Diana sighs with exasperation. "Do you feel like you've been robbed or murdered?" You feel a little sleepy, and slightly stiff, but not particularly victimized. <ul><li>[[Who are you?->dianaself]]</li> <li>[[Where am I?->dianatavern]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Max?->dianamax]]</li></ul> <<button [[End the Conversation->frontporchintro]]>><</button>>

<b>"Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Max?"</b> Diana pauses for a moment to consider her words. "Things would be simpler if you weren't here." It sounds like you should be thanking Max. <ul><li>[[Who are you?->dianaself]]</li> <li>[[Where am I?->dianatavern]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->dianadoing]]</li></ul> <<button [[End the Conversation->frontporchintro]]>><</button>>

The ground slopes downwards as you walk around the back of the tavern. Your surroundings tell a story of abandonment and decay. None of this seems like willful neglect — you see several outbuildings that have been carefully secured against the elements. It’s difficult to tell what they were used for, but you recognize a barn, a smokehouse, and a building that might have been a smithy. It looks like this could have been a bustling center of activity, with workshops supporting a large settlement or plantation. It also seems like a lot of work for just Max and Diana, which explains why most of it has been sealed off. The remains of a garden behind the tavern have fallen to an unrelenting tide of vegetation. Instead of the orderly rows of crops you'd find on working farms, there appear to be random clusters of weeds and assorted plant life that aren’t immediately recognizable as vegetables. A shabby, low wooden fence protects the garden from wandering animals. Or maybe it protects the surrounding woods from the embarrassment of the garden. <<if $touchedit == "no">>[[Some kind of archway->gatewrongside]] leads out from the basement of the tavern into the garden. It appears to be closed.<</if>><<if $touchedit == "yes">>[[The archway->gatewrongside]] leading out from the basement of the tavern remains closed.<</if>> From here you can go: <<button [[Back to the porch->frontporchintro]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Porch">><</button>>

The tavern sits on a stout foundation made of ordinary stone. But an archway set in the foundation — made of stone unlike any you've ever seen — creates a portal that exits the basement. <<if $touchedit == "yes">>You know where this is headed, but you can't keep yourself from drawing closer to inspect it again.<<else>>You draw closer to inspect it.<</if>> The portal is currently closed, secured with a door made of stout wooden beams. It is shut tight, and there doesn’t appear to be any way to open it from this side. Carvings across the archway look like writing, but it’s written in no alphabet that you’ve ever seen. You don't even know if you <i>could</i> read it; some of the figures seem to shift and change when you aren't looking directly at them. From here you can go: <<button [[Back to the porch->touchgate]]>><</button>> <<button [[Closer to touch the portal->touchgate]]>><<set $touchedit = "yes">><</button>>

"You seem to be doing better," Max says. What do you want to ask him? <ul><li>[[Who are you?->maxself]]</li> <li>[[Where am I?->maxtavern]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Diana?->maxdiana]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->maxdoing]]</li></ul> <<button [[End the Conversation->introupstairs]]>><</button>>

You take some time to recover your strength.<<set $closses += 1>> <<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><<set $btcount = 0>><<if ($cwins+$closses) > 4>><<set $scorekeep to $cwins>> The sun is getting low on the horizon, and you remember Diana's warning. <<button [[Time to head back to the cellar.->countscore]]>><</button>><<else>> <<button [[Now get back to hunting rogue vegetables.->pickafight]]>><</button>><</if>>

A strange noise wakes you up in the middle of the night. In truth, it's more like the sensation of a noise. It's similar to sound in the way that you'd describe lightning flashes as a color. You are being called downstairs, and it's rather insistent. <<button [[Ignore it and go back to sleep.->nightscenetwo]]>><<set $callreaction = "resist">><<set $locationdisp = "Cellar">><</button>> <<button [[Go downstairs to investigate.->nightscenetwo]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Cellar">><</button>>

<b>"Who are you?"</b> "I'm Diana." <ul><li>[[Where am I?->dianatavern]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Max?->dianamax]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->dianadoing]]</li></ul> <<button [[End the Conversation->frontporchintro]]>><</button>>

"We need you to collect resources from the Otherside," he says, "and you should be fine as long as you're back here before it gets dark." Diana just stares at you quietly. "We'd like you to go through the Gateway, capture the first opponent you encounter, and bring it back here to us." Max pauses his explanation to ask, "Do you think you can do that?" <ul><li>"[[Yes.->entergarden][$capable = "yes"]]"</li> <li>"[[I’m not a fighter.->entergarden][$capable = "no"]]"</li> <li>"[[Why are you being so vague about what I’m up against?->entergarden][$capable = "why"]]"</li> </ul>Max waits patiently for your answer.

<<if $combatstart == "training">><<set $ptitles = ["Vegetable Wrangler", "Acquisition Specialist"]>><<set $monsterset = ["spinach", "potato", "spinach"]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $tlevel = 1>>That night, a dirt broker arrives at the tavern. “I make arrangements for farmers who want to buy and sell carts full of dirt.” Apologetically, he says “it’s less exciting than it sounds.” Max boiled the spinach earlier in the day, and Diana serves it to him. "If we didn't have this," Max tells you, "then we'd have to serve him oat paste." <b>The dirt broker enjoys his meal very much. This has been a memorable evening for him.</b> <<button [[Max and Diana think that the day has gone very well.->firstchoicesetup]]>><<set $combatstart = "expert">><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "expert">><<if $tlevel < 2>>That night, a <<print $merchadj[0]>> <<print $merchgood[0]>> <<print $merchtype[0]>> arrives at the tavern.<<elseif $tlevel < 3>>That night, a <<print $merchadj[0]>> <<print $merchgood[0]>> <<print $merchtype[0]>>, escorted by a guard, arrives at the tavern.<<elseif $tlevel < 4>>That night, a <<print $merchadj[0]>> <<print $merchgood[0]>> <<print $merchtype[0]>>, traveling with two guards, arrives at the tavern.<<else>>That night, a <<print $merchadj[0]>> <<print $merchgood[0]>> <<print $merchtype[0]>>, accompanied by a group of <<print ($nightguests-1)>> guards, stops at the tavern.<</if>> <<set $vegstore -= $nightguests>><<if $vegstore < 0>>You don't have enough vegetables to meet the demands of your guests, so Diana serves up some oat paste. Nobody goes to bed hungry, but nobody is particularly happy, either. It may be for the best if everyone forgets that this evening ever happened.<<if $ugpoints > 1>> Maybe you should see if you can find something to help with combat.<</if>> <<if $tlevel > 5>><<button [[End the night in disappointment.->endstart]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $vegstore = 0>><</button>><<else>><<button [[End the night in disappointment.->bedroom]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $vegstore = 0>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>><</if>><<else>><<set $mnights += 1>><<set $custcount += $nightguests>><<print $ambience[0]>> <b>You have successfully provided a memorable dining experience.</b> <<if $vegstore > $player.storelimit>>Diana thinks that <<print $player.storelimit>> load<<if $player.storelimit > 1>>s<</if>> of vegetables will remain fresh enough to serve tomorrow night.<<set $vegstore = $player.storelimit>><<elseif $vegstore > 0>>Max tells you that <<print $vegstore>> load<<if $vegstore > 1>>s<</if>> of vegetables remain<<if $vegstore < 2>>s<</if>> in storage.<<else>>You have cleared out the tavern's store of vegetables, and nothing remains.<</if>> <<if $player.mnightsreqd < $mnights and $tlevel < 2>> <<button [[Tonight seems different.->levelupone]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>> <<elseif $player.mnightsreqd < $mnights and $tlevel < 3>> <<button [[Tonight seems different.->leveluptwo]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>> <<elseif $player.mnightsreqd < $mnights and $tlevel < 4>> <<button [[Tonight seems different.->levelupthree]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>> <<elseif $player.mnightsreqd < $mnights and $tlevel < 5>> <<button [[Tonight seems different.->levelupfour]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>> <<elseif $player.mnightsreqd < $mnights and $tlevel < 6>> <<button [[Tonight seems different.->levelupfive]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>> <<elseif $tlevel > 5>> <<button [[Time to call it a night.->endstart]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>> <<else>> <<button [[Time to call it a night.->bedroom]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><<set $potioncount = 1>><</button>> <</if>> <</if>><</if>>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "a sickly bunch of wilted spinach", strikenum: 80, dodgenum: 20, hitpoints: 7, dealsdmg: 1, overdrive: 8, intro: "You are menaced by some wilted spinach.", losemsg: "The wilted spinach shimmies in despondent celebration. It wasn't supposed to end like this", windup: "The spinach rears back to strike, ", mhitn: "and topples over", mhity: "and brushes against you hard enough to sting a little bit", odmsg: "The spinach is working itself into a frenzy, which means it could put some effort into its next attack.", msmashcounter: "The spinach whirls at you in a blur of green leaves, but you get out of its way and land a counterattack while it recovers", msmashn: "The spinach shivers a little bit before wilting some more. It doesn't accomplish much", msmashy: "You curl up into a ball to protect yourself, but the spinach subjects you to a surprisingly vigorous series of attacks. It hurts", neardeath: "The wilted spinach is looking extra wilted. ", odcancel: "You prepare to smash the sickly bunch of wilted spinach, but you change your mind at the last minute. It just looks so pitiful", pdodgeprep: "You stay alert in case the spinach makes any sudden moves", pdodgen: "and end up dodging right into its oncoming attack. You get hurt", pdodgey: "but it doesn't", phitn: "Your swing goes wide, and you miss the spinach", phity: "You damage the spinach with a solid hit", psmashy: "You bash the spinach with a gratuitous amount of force", psmashcritfail: "Your attack goes wrong. First your pride gets hurt, and then your face", winmsg: "You have knocked the fight out of the spinach. You collect it in your sack", }>>

<b>"Where am I?"</b> "You're in the woods, midway between Astlund and Vostreich." She's not a very chatty person. <ul><li>[[Who are you?->dianaself]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Max?->dianamax]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->dianadoing]]</li></ul> <<button [[End the Conversation->frontporchintro]]>><</button>>

<b>"Who are you?"</b> He makes an elaborate bow. "I am Maximillian Overholt Fortesque-Duquesne Von Willhembach Avoirdupois, at your service!" He pauses to note your expression before adding, "you can call me Max." <ul><li>[[Where am I?->maxtavern]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Diana?->maxdiana]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->maxdoing]]</li></ul><<button [[End the Conversation->introupstairs]]>><</button>>

<b>"Where am I?"</b> "My sister and I set up this tavern on a trade route that runs from Astlund to Vostreich," Max begins, "although calling it a trade route may be a bit generous. It's barely a glorified hunting trail in more than a few places." He sighs before continuing. "There are many ways to ship materials between the two countries, and most of them are faster and easier than this one. So we don't get many customers." <ul><li>[[Who are you?->maxself]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Diana?->maxdiana]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->maxdoing]]</li></ul><<button [[End the Conversation->introupstairs]]>><</button>>

<b>"Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Diana?"</b> "Oh," Max says, "It was a team effort." "Like many of our other ventures," he continues, "I came up with the idea while Diana actually did the heavy lifting." <ul><li>[[Who are you?->maxself]]</li> <li>[[Where am I?->maxtavern]]</li> <li>[[This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?->maxdoing]]</li></ul><<button [[End the Conversation->introupstairs]]>><</button>>

<b>"This isn't one of those criminal enterprises where you rob and murder travelers, is it?"</b> Max starts laughing. "Sorry," he says, "I don't mean to be rude. But if my sister and I were planning to rob people, we'd have picked a spot that saw a little more regular traffic." He makes a valid point. Do you want to ask something else? <ul><li>[[Who are you?->maxself]]</li> <li>[[Where am I?->maxtavern]]</li> <li>[[Who should I thank for my rescue, you or Diana?->maxdiana]]</li></ul> <<button [[End the Conversation->introupstairs]]>><</button>>

<<set $locationdisp = "Bedroom">><<set $statusoption = $ptitles[0]>><<set $maxnow = $locatemax[0]>><<set $diananow = $locatediana[0]>><<set $nightguests = $guestpool[0]>>You are in your bedroom. <<print $description.bedroom>> Your <<print $player.weapon>> rests in a corner of the room when you aren't wielding it. <<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">>Currently, a <<print $weaponmat>> <<print $weaponstyle>> winds around the <<print $weaponloc>> of your weapon, making <<if $weaponreason == "cool">>it look cool<<elseif $weaponreason == "dangerous">>it look dangerous<<elseif $weaponreason == "pretty">>it look pretty<<elseif $weaponreason == "good">>a decorative accent that seemed like a good idea at the time<</if>>.<</if>> Your <<print $player.armor>> hangs on a peg, ready for your next outing. <<if $armorcrafted == "yes">>Right now, <<print $armorcolor>> <<print $armormat>> <<print $armortype>> enhances the edges of your apron. <<if $armorline == "craft">>Craftsmanship matters<<elseif $armorline == "lookbest">>Looking your best is important<<elseif $armorline == "pretty">>it looks pretty<<elseif $armorline == "reasons">>You have your reasons<</if>>.<</if>> From here, you can explore the tavern by heading into the kitchen. Or you can go directly to the portal and start gathering vegetables. You can also take the day off. <<button [[kitchen<-Kitchen]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Kitchen">><</button>> <<button [[Head to the portal->entergarden]]>><</button>> <<button [[Take the day off->pacifistintro]]>><</button>>

You are in the tavern's kitchen.<<if $player.armor == "cloth apron" and $ugpoints > 0>> "[[It looks like they're using every part of the potato.->apronup1]]"<</if>> <<print $description.kitchen>><<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">> Diana is here, organizing the kitchen implements and keeping the knives sharp. You can [[talk to her->talkdiana]].<</if>> Doorways lead to private rooms for Max and Diana. You won't even think about exploring them, because you don't have a death wish.<<if $tlevel > 5>>.. however, there's nothing keeping you here anymore. If you really wanted to burn bridges, you could search their rooms, loot this place, and make off with all the valuables you can carry. By helping yourself to a guest’s cartload of merchandise as well, you’d be able to carry quite a lot.<</if>> From here, you can go back into your room, out to the tavern's dining room, or downstairs to the cellar. <<button [[bedroom<-Your Bedroom]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Bedroom">><</button>> <<button [[commonroom<-Dining Room]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Dining Room">><</button>> <<button [[cellar<-Cellar]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Cellar">><</button>> <<if $tlevel > 5>>If you think you won't get caught, you can also: <<button [[Loot the place and sneak off in the dead of night.->dianashowdown]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Diana's Room">><</button>><</if>>

You are in the tavern's common room, also called a dining room, where meals are served to guests.<<if $player.weapon == "banded hammer" and $ugpoints > 0>> "[[I think those forks are new->hammerup2]]"<</if>> <<print $description.commonroom>><<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">> Max is here, organizing some things behind the bar. He's cleaning up from last night, but you can [[talk to him->talkmax]].<</if>> <<if $tlevel < 4>>A chalkboard shows the <<popup "tavern menu" "menu1">>.<<else>>To match the new, upscale décor, the chalkboard has been removed. Each customer can now order from a personalized <<popup "menu" "menu2">>, which is printed on heavy paper and bound in potato leather.<</if>> From here, you can go upstairs, back to the kitchen, or out front to the porch. <<button [[upstairs<-Upstairs]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Upstairs Guest Rooms">><</button>> <<button [[kitchen<-Kitchen]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Kitchen">><</button>> <<button [[porch<-Front Porch]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Front Porch">><</button>>

You are in the tavern's large cellar. <<print $description.cellar>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">> Diana is here, and you can [[talk to her->talkdiana]]. <</if>> <<button [[Gather some vegetables.->entergarden]]>><</button>> <<button [[Head back to the kitchen.->kitchen]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Kitchen">><</button>>

You are in the upstairs guest rooms of the tavern. <<print $description.upstairs>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">> Max is here, generally straightening up and getting the rooms ready for tonight's guests. You can [[talk to him->talkmax]].<</if>> From here, you can go back downstairs. <<button [[commonroom<-Downstairs]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Dining Room">><</button>>

You are standing on the front porch of this establishment. A weathered sign announces that it's the "Inn of the Forgotten Radish."<<if $player.armor == "leather apron" and $ugpoints > 0>> "[[It seems like iron is no longer scarce around here.->apronup2]]"<</if>> <<print $description.porch>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">> Diana is here, taking a break from chores to practice with some throwing axes. You can [[talk to her->talkdiana]].<</if>> From here, you can go back inside to the dining room or around back behind the tavern. <<button [[commonroom<-Dining Room]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Dining Room">><</button>> <<button [[property<-Back Garden]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Back Garden and Outbuildings">><</button>> You could also: <<if $tlevel > 5>><<button [[Leave all this behind.->successfuldeparture]]>><</button>><<else>><<button [[Try to leave all this behind.->firstexitcheck]]>><</button>><</if>>

You are behind the tavern, near some of the outbuildings used for storage and other purposes.<<if $player.weapon == "wooden mallet" and $ugpoints > 0>> "[[I wonder what's on those fenceposts->hammerup1]]?"<</if>> <<print $description.property>> <<print $description.garden>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">> Max is here, sitting very still. He looks like he's asleep, but if you called him on it, he would probably insist that he's meditating. He'd get up and answer questions if you want to [[talk to him->talkmax]].<</if>> From here, you can go back to the porch<<if $tlevel > 2>> or visit the smithy. There's also the tannery<<elseif $tlevel > 1>>, or visit the newly re-opened smithy<</if>>. During the day, the portal seems much less interesting from this side. <<button [[porch<-Front Porch]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Front Porch">><</button>> <<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[smithy<-Smithy]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Smithy">><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>><<button [[tannery<-Tannery]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Tannery">><</button>><</if>>

<<set $tlevel = 2>><<set $player.mnightsreqd = 3>><<set $ugpoints += 1>><<set $ptitles = ["Potato Masher", "Semi-Constant Gardener", "Junior Marketing Specialist"]>><<set $locatediana = ["dianakitchen", "dianaporch", "dianacellar", "dianasmithy"]>><<set $monsterset = ["spinach", "spinach", "onion", "potato", "onion"]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj = ["befuddled", "bilious", "grumpy", "loud", "short", "sleepy", "gassy", "brooding", "gloomy", "tired", "young"]>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood = ["fur", "leather", "wool"]>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype = ["dealer", "salesman"]>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool = [2, 2, 2]>><<set $description.commonroom = "It looks a little more lively. It’s a big room, and it must be difficult to keep it all clean, but Max and Diana seem to be making more of an effort in expectation of regular guests.">><<set $description.upstairs = "The beds have been made with freshly washed cotton sheets that provide an extra layer of comfort.">><<set $description.property = "The smithy is working again, sending up a column of smoke into the sky. Diana doesn’t like to let the forge go cold, even when she’s not inside the smithy.">><<set $description.garden = "There’s still no pretense of order in the wildly overgrown garden. However, the archway is much less obvious. Diana has constructed a wooden shell that conceals its unusual stonework.">><<set $description.cellar = "By now, the portal is a familiar presence at the far end of the room. Diana has brought some cheeses over from the springhouse, and they are sitting in a corner.">><<set $description.porch = "The woods are quiet at this time of day. The faded sign is still in terrible shape, but Diana might have made some improvements to the stable — the structure no longer looks like it will collapse in the night and crush its inhabitants. Well, it may not fatally crush them.">><<set $ambience = ["Max makes some small talk with your guests. They discuss the best springtime trade route through the eastern mountains.", "A troupe of Morris dancers attempts to spend the night, but Diana drives them away with threats of extreme violence. Max explains that it's important to have standards.", "The guard is traveling with a pet raven. It spends the night watching you. Like it knows something.", "You think you hear Diana grumbling under her breath about how there are only so many ways you can cook a potato.", "Your guests have brought a letter addressed to Max. He asks them to carry some outgoing mail on the next leg of their journey."]>>After your guest heads upstairs, Max pulls you aside. He’s very excited. “This is going even better than I had hoped,” he tells you. “We’re starting to attract more business, and that means I can make arrangements for regular deliveries of supplies.” Then he glances around the room, dimly lit by the embers of that night’s fire. “We can also acquire some creature comforts that would make living here more bearable,” he says. Diana has joined the two of you, and she nods in agreement. “Keep at it,” Max tells you. “I’ve got a feeling that this could work out very well for all of us.” <<button[[Get ready to start a new day.->bedroom]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><</button>>

<<set $tlevel = 3>><<set $player.mnightsreqd = 5>><<set $player.storelimit = 2>><<set $ugpoints += 1>><<set $ptitles = ["Junior Restauranteur", "Vegetable Vanquisher", "Produce Rancher"]>><<set $monsterset = ["potato", "onion", "garlic", "onion", "garlic", "spinach"]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj = ["brooding", "gloomy", "tired", "young", "clumsy", "noisy", "phlegmatic", "rowdy", "sly", "bearded", "cheerful", "tall", "thin"]>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood = ["cloth", "spice", "wine"]>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype = ["importer", "merchant"]>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool = [3, 3, 3]>><<set $description.bedroom = "Your bed has been made up with freshly washed cotton sheets and fine woolen blankets for an extra layer of comfort.">><<set $description.commonroom = "Previously, the only lighting came from the enormous fireplace, but Max has added a few sconces to hold torches. People can now see each other, and their food. That may be a mixed blessing.">><<set $description.cellar = "The cellar now looks more like something you’d find in a functional establishment. Several barrels of ale sit on racks, cleverly arranged to hide the archway from casual observers.">><<set $description.porch = "Some of the undergrowth has been cleared around the trails leading east and west. There’s now enough room for larger wagons to stop overnight, and better facilities for their animals.">><<set $ambience = ["One of your visitors assumes that Diana is a defenseless serving girl and attempts to take some liberties. Diana clears up the misunderstanding by breaking his wrist.", "You notice that more letters and packages have been accompanying the visitors who stop at the tavern.", "You wonder if you should start expecting a gang of vegetables to arrive seeking vengeance. Probably not.", "Diana and the guards have an animated conversation, comparing notes on the best way to defend against a pack of feral endives. They think that she’s joking.", "Your guests are traveling with a case of feathered hairpieces that are supposed to be the latest fashion craze. Max is disinterested. Diana is openly hostile to the idea. You just don't think they'd be very practical, considering your current lifestyle.", "One of the guards is an excitable convert to that new religion taking root in Astlund's capital. Max nods politely, but the bored eye-rolling of the other travelers makes it clear that they have heard the pitch many times before."]>>Tonight, one of your guests shared too much information about his toe fungus, and Max was struck with inspiration. "Fungus!" He turns to Diana and says, "we could start growing mushrooms!" He seems ready to collect a sample from your visitor, but Diana moves quickly to shut his plans down. Meanwhile, Diana has found a way to keep the vegetables from rotting so quickly. She's hoping that she can refine her technique further. "Look," Max says. "I've noticed the way you behave around our guests. It's clear that you're trying to keep a low profile. And that could be a problem as we start seeing more visitors. But I think we can work something out." <<button[[Get ready to start a new day.->bedroom]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><</button>>

<<set $potions to "on">><<set $potioncount = 1>><<set $tlevel = 4>><<set $player.mnightsreqd = 7>><<set $player.storelimit = 3>><<set $ugpoints += 1>><<set $ptitles = ["Senior Marketing Specialist", "Fighting Farmer", "Garden Grappler"]>><<set $monsterset = ["potato", "onion", "garlic", "carrot", "onion", "garlic", "carrot"]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj = ["bearded", "cheerful", "tall", "thin", "clever", "mercurial", "rotund", "shrewd", "swearing", "quiet", "self-important", "smug", "solemn"]>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood = ["silk", "rug", "artwork"]>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype = ["dealer", "broker"]>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool = [3, 4, 3, 4]>><<set $description.kitchen = "In addition to the recently acquired pots and pans, you notice some extra-fancy utensils gleaming on the counters.">><<set $description.upstairs = "The soft beds have freshly washed cotton sheets and fine woolen blankets.">><<set $description.commonroom = "It seems more refined. A large number of candles are positioned around the room, and a few silver mirrors amplify the light to make things look much brighter in the evening. ">><<set $description.property = "The springhouse has been opened, the smithy is working, and now Diana has converted one of the buildings into a distillery. You’re willing to enter the smithy, but you’re wary of entering the distillery. Diana doesn’t do anything by half measures, and you have no doubt that she’s working with some powerful stuff in there.">><<set $description.garden = "No earthly force will ever be able to tame that garden, but the shabby fence that surrounded it has been replaced by something more sturdy. It should keep out most unwanted visitors.">><<set $description.porch = "Diana’s woodworking skills are on full display. The porch has a fancy carved railing, and visitors can rest on the clean, varnished benches sitting out front.">><<set $ambience = ["Diana wins an arm-wrestling contest with one of the guards, and Max wins a bet on the outcome.", "Diana has to break up a fight between the guards. Apparently, someone was cheating at cards.", "One of the guards entertains his companions with a story about an ill-fated bear hunt.", "The guards impassively watch their employer spend half the night trying to convince Max that 'powdered wyvern penis' will solve all his problems. He tells you afterwards that it was just ordinary flour in a fancy jar. Doesn't everyone know that wyverns have a cloaca?", "Max asks about the conditions of trade routes in the area, getting a detailed update so that he can share the information with other travelers.", "Diana turns away a pair of furtive travelers that were looking to stay the night. Max tells you that he knows a capybara smuggling ring has been operating in the area, and he sees no point in making things easy for them."]>><<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>By now, you’ve thought about seducing your hosts — either individually or together, depending on how bored you are. It would be trivial for someone of your skills, but you’re already fleeing from one ex that you left at the altar. You don’t see any point in creating additional complications.<</if>><<if $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>You have been carefully watching for anyone who looks like they're out hunting wanted fugitives. Luckily, you haven't seen anyone like that yet. This has turned out to be a pretty good spot for laying low.<</if>><<if $motive == "Prodigal child">>Now that you’ve spent some time working here at the tavern, the idea of taking on responsibility seems less daunting. You’ve gotten used to the idea of people depending on you, and it’s not as terrible as you had feared.<</if>><<if $motive == "Menace to society">>You've kept an eye out for anyone who looks like they want to drag you back to the altar, take you in to face justice, or compel you to return home and face up to your overbearing parents. Fortunately, nobody like that has shown up yet.<</if>> Meanwhile, Max and Diana seem unusually tense tonight. At the end of the evening, you find out why. “There’s a royal survey team that’s mapping the area,” Max tells you. “I had been hoping that your work could ‘put this place on the map’ figuratively, but…” Diana hasn’t said a word. Her expression is darker than usual. Do you want to volunteer a solution? <ul><li>“[[Let’s just treat them like any other guests. What’s the worst that could happen?->surveyteam][$secondq = "lazy"]]”</li> <li>"[[Can we feed them some oat paste? If we make sure their stay is forgettable, that might be the end of it.->surveyteam][$secondq = "clever"]]"</li> <li>"[[Well, I’ve got this big hammer, and I’ve gotten pretty good at hitting things with it, so…->surveyteam][$secondq = "violent"]]"</li></ul>You could also [[stay silent->surveyteam][$secondq = "inert"]].

<<set $tlevel = 5>><<set $player.mnightsreqd = 9>><<set $player.storelimit = 4>><<set $ugpoints += 1>><<set $ptitles = ["Senior Restauranteur", "Grinding Grocer"]>><<set $monsterset = ["potato", "carrot", "onion", "garlic", "turnip"]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj = ["quiet", "self-important", "smug", "solemn", "clean-shaven", "crafty", "fat", "haughty", "polite", "sanguine"]>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood = ["jewelry", "gemstone", "jade"]>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype = ["merchant", "trader", "broker"]>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool = [4, 5, 4, 5]>><<set $description.commonroom = "It currently looks quite stylish. You’re now sleeping on silk sheets, and the floor has been decorated with some of the extra carpets from upstairs. Expensive candles light the room at night. There’s even talk of putting in a window.">><<set $description.kitchen = "The space has come a long way. You see extra-fancy utensils, recently acquired cookware, and some needlessly elaborate cookery devices that are the absolute last word in gustatory innovation.">><<set $description.commonroom = "It now looks like a fine dining establishment. There are even tapestries hanging on the walls. They seem pretty expensive, but Max told you that they 'fell off the back of a cart.'">><<set $description.upstairs = "Max has outfitted these rooms as luxury accommodations. Silk sheets and expensive candles, as well as fine carpets, almost make you forget that you’re in the middle of nowhere, far from civilization.">><<set $description.cellar = "Max has stocked the cellar well in preparation for upscale clientele. Glass bottles gleam faintly in the cellar’s gloom, and the stacked barrels of ale have turned the cavernous space into a maze. If it weren’t for the pulsing blue light of the archway, this place might look completely normal.">><<set $description.porch = "It looks like the tavern roof has been upgraded with new shingles, and an enormous block of wood is sitting in the cleared space in front of the tavern.">><<set $ambience = ["The guards spend the night enjoying the expanded range of drinks now available at the tavern. They know, and sing, a surprisingly large number of drinking songs.", "The guards hold an impromptu belching contest. Diana emerges as the undisputed champion.", "The guards tonight are remarkably loud and arrogant, considering that their “career” just involves following people around and hitting things for money.", "You expected this group to get rowdy, but they're remarkably respectful and well behaved. Your guests have started taking Diana at her word when she says she's not going to put up with any nonsense.", "Some of the newest kitchen gadgets still aren’t properly broken in. There's a minor fire in the kitchen, but no serious damage is done.", "You overhear some of your guests talking about “Lord Horseradish.” A few weeks ago, you would have assumed that it’s a derogatory nickname. You’re not so sure now.", "Your visitors bring another mail delivery. At this point, the tavern’s post office is so active that Max should receive a royal commission.", "Tonight’s travelers are all members of the same religious sect. Max politely accepts some of their informational pamphlets, but you’re pretty sure that he’s just going to throw them away later."]>>You have learned that the Royal Survey Team finished its work in the area. You won't need to worry about it anymore. Max is now running a regular post office from the tavern. It seems like every visitor has at least one piece of mail for him, and he sends outgoing letters and packages to destinations all over the world. In addition to upgrading various aspects of the tavern, he has built quite a communications network. “Some of our expanded menu items aren’t as popular as I’d hoped,” Max laments, “but I guess there’s no accounting for taste.” "I know that your extended say here has been a bit of a chore," he continues, "but I think I've found a solution." It sounds interesting, and you'd like to know more. "Just give me a few more days, and I'll be ready." Diana also lets you know that she has been able to refine her storage methods, and she can keep more vegetables on hand for your guests. <<button[[Get ready to start a new day.->bedroom]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><</button>>

<<set $tlevel = 6>><<set $description.porch = "Visitors to the tavern are now greeted by a giant, carved wooden radish. It’s quite a conversation piece.">><<set $ptitles = ["Tourism Board Chair"]>><<set $merchadj = ["forgetful", "grizzled", "grouchy", "sketchy", "skinny", "wheezing", "wrinkled", "befuddled", "bilious", "grumpy", "loud", "short", "sleepy", "gassy", "brooding", "gloomy", "tired", "young", "clumsy", "noisy", "phlegmatic", "rowdy", "sly", "bearded", "cheerful", "tall", "thin", "clever", "mercurial", "rotund", "shrewd", "swearing", "quiet", "self-important", "smug", "solemn", "clean-shaven", "crafty", "fat", "haughty", "polite", "sanguine"]>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood = ["grain", "tobacco", "fur", "leather", "wool", "cloth", "spice", "wine", "silk", "rug", "artwork", "jewelry", "gemstone", "jade"]>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype = ["trader", "broker", "dealer", "salesman", "merchant", "importer", "smuggler"]>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool = [3, 4, 5, 3, 4, 5]>>Max and Diana approach you once your guests are settled upstairs. They seem unusually emotional. "You've done good work," Diana says. For once, Max is quiet. He hands you a heavy leather pouch. "Your new life is in there." Not all of Max's new contacts are law-abiding citizens. It turns out that he knows at least one person who can forge a complete set of travel documents. And they're pretty well done. "You can now claim to be minor Disladian royalty," he explains. It's a decent cover story, since Disladia is close enough for people to have heard of it, but distant enough that you'll encounter few people who are familiar with its customs. Nobody will realize that you're an impostor. <ul><li>"[[I don’t know what to say.->finalquestion][$finalq = "say"]]"</li> <li>"[[I don’t know how to thank you.->finalquestion][$finalq = "thankyou"]]"</li> <li>"[[It’s about damn time.->finalquestion][$finalq = "abouttime"]]"</li> </ul>The conversation has paused, and you should probably say something.

<<set $description= { bedroom: "Max and Diana have converted a storeroom for you to use. It’s not glamorous, and the straw pallet that you sleep on is not very comfortable, but it will do for now.", kitchen: "The space is clean and functional.", commonroom: "It looks neglected. Cobwebs are gathering dust in the corners, and the large fireplace along the south wall shows the only signs of recent activity.", upstairs: "These rooms are bright and cheery. Guests can stay overnight for a modest fee. The sheets are clean, but threadbare.", porch: "The inn's carved wooden sign hangs above a shabby porch with a few crooked pine benches.", property: "The springhouse has been opened, and Diana is using it to store milk and cheeses for visiting guests.", garden: "Meanwhile, the unruly garden remains… unruly.", cellar: "The space is lit by an eldritch blue light that pulses visibly. Ominous shadows are cast by large, empty racks that might have held barrels of ale in the distant past. The portal glows quietly at the far end of the cellar.", smithy: "This could be the default description for the smithy, but it is not in use right now." }>>

Diana has re-opened the smithy located on the tavern grounds. It seems like repairing and maintaining the property's ironwork is only part of the reason why she has the smithy running again. In addition to keeping her weapons sharp, she says that working here is good exercise.<<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">> Diana is here, beating on some iron like it owes her money. She would probably take a break if you wanted to [[talk with her->talkdiana]].<</if>> From here, you can go back outside. <<button [[property<-Back Garden]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Back Garden and Outbuildings">><</button>>

You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation.->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation.->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation.->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation.->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<<if $touchedit == "no">>You're kidding yourself if you thought you could resist the draw of the portal.<<if $touchedit == "yes">> Again.<</if>> You are compelled to move closer and touch it. <</if>>Your senses can’t convey the full experience of the archway. It feels electric. It’s oily. It alternates between hot and cold. It’s rough and smooth and dry and damp, all at the same time. You manage to break contact with a jolt. Your pulse is racing and you are breathing heavily.<<if $touchedit == "yes">> This experience is not getting any less intense with repetition. The good news is that it's also not getting any <i>more</i> intense.<</if>> You probably shouldn’t mention this to either Max or Diana.<<set $touchedit = "yes">> From here you can go: <<button [[Back to the porch->frontporchintro]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Porch">><</button>>

<<if $combatstart == "death">><<set $monsterenc to "diana">><<include $monsterenc>>This may not have been your best decision.<<set $btcount = 0>> <<button [[Get ready to defend yourself.->pickafight]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $endgame == "on">><<set $monsterenc to "nemesis">><<include $monsterenc>>Your mind fixes on odd details in the seconds before the fight.<<set $btcount = 0>> The smell coming from the stables nearby. The sound of Diana's footsteps, circling to find an advantage over her opponent. The fact that your own opponent is in serious need of a haircut. <<button [[Get ready to defend yourself.->pickafight]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Front Yard">><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "training">><<if $capable == "yes">><b>"Yes."</b> "Good," says Max. "We'll see you in a little while."<</if>><<if $capable == "no">><b>"I’m not a fighter."</b> "Then improvise," Max urges. "It’s not like we’re expecting you to take down a trained warrior."<</if>><<if $capable == "why">><b>"Why are you being so vague about what I’m up against?"</b> "Because we don’t want to deal with stupid follow-up questions," Diana snaps. "Just get out there and do it."<</if>><<set $monsterenc to "spinach">><<include $monsterenc>> Max gives you a cloth apron to wear for protection, and Diana hands you a wooden mallet.<<set $weapdisplay to "on">> Then they give you an empty sack and open the Gateway. You see an extravagant world on the other side, teeming with life. It's a vision of what the garden behind the tavern <i>could</i> be, in a realm of greenery run amok. The sun shines more brightly, the damp earth gives off the fresh scent of new growth, and the plants seem more alive. The plants seem very much alive, in fact. Leaves squirm and jockey for position, competing with each other to absorb as much sunlight as possible. They're competing in slow motion, but they’re much more active than plants have any right to be. Stepping through the portal to join them is a wrenching, disorienting experience. At the same time, you feel energized and ready to take on anything. <<set $btcount = 0>> <<button [[Welcome to The Otherside.->pickafight]]>><<set $locationdisp = "The Otherside">><</button>><</if>><<if $combatstart == "expert">><<set $cwins = 0>><<set $closses = 0>><<set $vegcount = 0>><<set $btcount = 0>><<if $tlevel < 3>>You let Max know that you’re off to collect some vegetables. He opens the portal for you and promises to keep watch until your return.<<else>>You and Diana make your way around the barrels of ale to the portal. She sends you through and stands guard until you get back.<</if>> <<print $weatherpool[0]>> <<button [[Time to get started.->pickafight]]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><<set $locationdisp = "The Otherside">><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Why arrange to have milk delivered? Why not just get a cow?"</b> Max pauses to give you an odd look. “I think I’ll leave that decision up to Diana.” You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Why are you hiding the gateway in the basement of a public tavern?"</b> "It's... complicated, yes? Diana is talented, but she and I couldn't keep a permanent settlement running on our own." Max continues, "And we couldn’t build an enormous keep with a massive garrison for defense, because attracting that kind of attention gives bad ideas to the wrong sort of people." "This way, we can keep an eye on things without attracting too much attention." You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Why don’t visitors remember this place?"</b> "Mostly," Max says, "they don’t need to remember it. It’s just some nondescript inn that exists on one of the many, many trade routes that they travel while trying to make a living." "That’s normally helpful, but Diana and I eventually figured out that it means we have a hard time getting resupplied." You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"How long have the two of you lived here?"</b> Max looks uncharacteristically thoughtful. “We’ve been here a while, I guess.” “After a while, the days just kind of blur together, you know? The months slip past, the seasons slide by, and it gets to the point where you don’t care what year it is because you can’t remember what year it was when you started.” Then Max makes a face. “Also, you don’t have to eat oat paste for too long before it starts feeling like an eternity.” "[[What is oat paste, anyway?->oatpaste]]" You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Cooking these vegetables seems like a lot of work. Have you thought about serving salads?"</b> Max makes a face. "You’ve got to consider our clientele. For one thing, most of these travelers, and especially the mercenaries and caravan guards, pride themselves on their strength and rugged endurance." "These are the kind of people who challenge each other to eating contests and demand their steaks rare." "And don’t forget that they’ve spent all day on the road. They’ve got another long day of travel waiting for them tomorrow. What kind of maniacs put themselves through that and say 'You know what? A nice, restorative salad is the kind of hearty meal that will give me the strength I need to get through another day.'" Max pauses for a moment and looks down at his feet. "Also, I’m no good at mixing up salad dressing." You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Why do you want me to fight with a mallet?"</b> "This is only a theory," Max says, "but I don’t think that we want anything on the other side of that archway to see you using lethal force." "Right now, we’ve got an uneasy equilibrium where they appear to match violence with similar violence. I’d hate to have them decide that it was time to escalate things." You can Max about:<<if $tlevel > 4>> <<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>Why are you hiding the gateway in the basement of a public tavern?</b> “Are you familiar with the phrase, ‘hiding in plain sight’?” She doesn't offer more explanation than that. You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Why arrange to have milk delivered? Why not just get a cow?"</b> Diana fixes you with a look so severe that it actually scares a little bit of pee out of you. "Because I am <i>not</i> a milkmaid, is why." You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Why do you want me to fight with a mallet?"</b> "It preserves the flavor." You can ask Diana about:<<if $tlevel > 4>> <<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"How long have the two of you lived here?"</b> "Long enough to learn some things. Like how to recognize people who are hiding secrets." "You don’t ask me about where I’ve been or what I’ve done," she says, "and I’ll leave your past alone." You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Cooking these vegetables seems like a lot of work. Have you thought about serving salads?"</b> "Eating these vegetables raw would not be a smart idea." You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Why don’t visitors remember this place?"</b> "There are easier trade routes."> You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"What is oat paste?"</b> Max makes a face. "It’s simple, it’s easy to make, and it stores well. We have enough oat paste here to feed a very large number of people for an almost unlimited amount of time." "But there are some tradeoffs," he continues. "Have you ever tried a dish so sublime that you could feel the inspiration that drove the chef to create it? You're aware of each individual taste, but you're also able to appreciate the way that they combine to provide an entirely new dining experience?" Max is warming to his subject. "Do you understand me? It's the kind of food where you aren't eating a meal, you're experiencing a life event!" Then he makes a face. "Oat paste is so flavorless and terrible that it actually makes oatmeal taste like that." You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

The following morning, Max sends the dirt broker on his way. (He was offered some oat paste, but it was politely declined). “That was excellent,” Max tells you later. “Exactly what we needed. People tend to forget about this place if we can only feed them oat paste — but if we can give them a meal that they’ll remember, then we’ll start seeing regular traffic.” <ul><li>"[[And then you can start bartering for essentials?->firstchoicepoint][$firstchoice = "trade"]]"</li> <li>"[[Why is that good?->firstchoicepoint][$firstchoice = "thick"]]"</li> </ul>You feel like you should say something.

Max and Diana aren’t going to force you to go through the portal, and they have more than enough oat paste to go around. You spend a bland, uneventful day at the tavern. Occasionally, you’re asked to help with some minor maintenance or housekeeping tasks, but it’s a pretty low-stress existence. They don’t have enough vegetables stockpiled to entertain visitors in the evening, so it ends up being a forgettable night of oat paste. You could spend the rest of your days like this, but it wouldn’t be very interesting. <<button [[I'd like to go back to exploring for a while.->bedroom]]>><</button>> <<button [[I want to spend the rest of my days in hiding, living like this.->pacifistend]]>><</button>>

<<if $firstchoice == "trade">><b>"And then you can start bartering for essentials?"</b> "Exactly!" Max looks very hopeful. "It could really improve our standard of living. Do you think you can keep bringing vegetables to us?"<</if>><<if $firstchoice == "thick">><b>"Why is that good?"</b> Max takes a moment to look at you pityingly. "Because running a successful business will allow us to improve our standard of living." Diana sighs. "Well," she says, "You don’t need to be smart, you just need to hit things. Can you keep bringing vegetables to us?"<</if>> <<button [[Yes->instructions]]>><</button>> <<button [[No->pacifistintro]]>><</button>>

You agree to continue gathering vegetables, while Max and Diana will handle the cooking and serve customers that visit the tavern. The two of them set up a room for you to call your own. It'll be downstairs, off the kitchen, while guests will pay for the upstairs rooms. "There's just one problem," Diana says. She shows you the remaining spinach, and it is already rotting. "You'll need to gather new vegetables every day," Max tells you. "We can work on better ways of storing them, but right now they don't keep very well." <<button [[Each day starts in your bedroom.->bedroom]]>><</button>>

You're seriously going to ditch this place? <<if $tlevel < 1 >>It seems like you've barely looked around.<<else>>It seems like Max and Diana still need help.<</if>> <ul><li>"[[Maybe I can stay a little longer->frontporchintro]]"</li> <li>"[[I'm sure I want to leave.->exit]]"</li></ul>

<<if $callreaction == "resist">>It's cute how you think you've got a choice here. There's no way you can sleep through this. <</if>>Your body moves itself downstairs, through the common room and into the kitchen. From the kitchen, you head down to the cellar, where you see a glowing blue archway set into the wall. <<if $touchedit == "yes">>It's the same archway you couldn't keep away from earlier in the day. <</if>>Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to keep it closed. Stout oak beams, bound with age-tarnished silver, brace it against all but the most powerful intruders. But on this side of the door, you’re not an intruder. If you put some effort into it, you could remove the beams and open the door. You’re also sure that the door wants to be opened. <<button [[You’re ready to give it what it wants.->nightscenethree]]>><</button>>

You draw closer. You're so intent on the glowing arch that you don't notice Diana until she brings you down with a flying tackle. Diana is stronger than she looks, which is surprising, because she already looks like she spends most of her time on strength training. <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>Normally, you're the one pursuing a person and ending up in this position with them. The current reversal is more cramped, awkward, and clothed than usual. <</if>><<if $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>You're clearly slipping. When you led your life of crime, people never used to be able to sneak up on you like this. <</if>><<if $motive == "Prodigal child">>You briefly recall your parents telling you that you'd never get anywhere in life without paying attention. They may have been right. <</if>>You hear footsteps, and Max appears in the gloom of the cellar. "I told you this would happen," Diana tells him. "And I told you that it may not be a bad thing," he responds. Max and Diana help you to your feet. Then he checks to be sure you are unhurt. "No injuries, no hard feelings? Diana's... enthusiasm is justified. Crossing through the Gateway at night is an exceptionally bad idea." <<button [[Let's continue this conversation in the morning.->dayafter1]]>><</button>>

"<b>I wonder what's on those fenceposts</b>," you think to yourself. A closer look shows you that the more weathered posts can start splitting down the middle, and some of them have iron caps or bands in place to hold them together. It makes you think of a way that you can upgrade your hammer to deal more damage. But Diana has been pretty busy lately. You can also wait a bit and talk with her later. <<button [[Find Diana and upgrade your weapon.->weaponupgrade]]>><</button>> <<button [[See if you can come up with other ideas.->property]]>><</button>>

<<set $ugpoints -= 1>>You find Diana and tell her about your idea. <<if $player.weapon == "wooden mallet">><<set $player.weapon = "banded hammer">><<set $player.dealsdmg = 6>>If she wraps iron bands around the head of your wooden mallet, it will be more sturdy and inflict greater damage while you're foraging on the other side of the portal.<<else>><<set $player.weapon = "spiked warhammer">><<set $player.dealsdmg = 8>>You can add spikes to the head of your weapon, causing puncture wounds and blunt force trauma at the same time. It's a win/win proposition... for the person swinging it. Maybe not so much for things in the impact zone.<</if>> Diana takes your weapon and spends the day working with it at the smithy. You take a day off from collecting vegetables, and nobody shows up to stay the night. Your improved weapon is ready the following morning. <<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> Unfortunately, the <<print $weaponmat>> <<print $weaponstyle>> that used to wind around the <<print $weaponloc>> of your weapon had to be removed in the process.<</if>> <<button [[Get ready to start a new day.->bedroom]]>><<set $weaponcrafted = "no">><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><</button>>

"<b>I think those forks are new</b>." The tavern is now providing a better grade of cutlery for its patrons. The tines on the forks look especially sharp, and it gives you an idea for upgrading your hammer to deal more damage. But you can always wait and talk with her about it later. <<button [[Find Diana and upgrade your weapon.->weaponupgrade]]>><</button>> <<button [[See if you can come up with other ideas.->commonroom]]>><</button>>

"<b>It looks like they're using every part of the potato</b>," you think to yourself. Diana has been saving the potato skins. It turns out that she can cure them like leather. The end result is tough and inedible, but it's also very durable. It gives you an idea for defending yourself against monster attacks, and you might want to talk with Max about it. On the other hand, Max has been pretty busy lately, and you may want to wait and talk with him about this later. Maybe there's more productive uses for your time. <<button [[Find Max and upgrade your armor.->armorupgrade]]>><</button>> <<button [[See if you can come up with other ideas.->kitchen]]>><</button>>

<<set $ugpoints -= 1>>You find Max and tell him about your idea. <<if $player.armor == "cloth apron">><<set $player.armor = "leather apron">><<set $player.maxhp = 10>>If he can create a sturdy leather apron for you, then it will be easier to endure the aggressive encounters taking place while you try to gather vegetables.<<else>><<set $player.armor = "reinforced apron">><<set $player.maxhp = 15>>This time, you ask Max to reinforce your apron with some iron plates in strategic locations. It'll the right balance of lightweight and sturdy, protecting you from injury while allowing freedom of movement.<</if>> You give Max your apron, and he spends a day working on the project. Luckily, no visitors arrive at the tavern, so you don't have to worry about serving vegetables. Your new armor is ready the next morning. <<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> Unfortunately, the <<print $armorcolor>> <<print $armormat>> <<print $armortype>> that enhanced the edges of your apron had to be removed in the process.<</if>> <<button [[Time to call it a night.->bedroom]]>><<set $armorcrafted = "no">><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><</button>>

"<b>It seems like iron is no longer scarce around here.</b>" You notice that the repaired stables feature more ironwork, and a lot of the carpentry using wooden pegs has been reinforced with metal in strategic places. It makes you think about a way to improve your apron for better protection against monster attacks. ...but you might want to wait a bit before you talk with Max about it, in case you think of something else. <<button [[Find Max and upgrade your armor.->armorupgrade]]>><</button>> <<button [[See if you can come up with other ideas.->porch]]>><</button>>

<p style="text-align:center"><p style="color:white"><b><u>THE FORGOTTEN TAVERN</u></b> <b>Written and created by:</b> Peter M.J. Gross <b>Concept Artist:</b> Donald Conrad <b>Quality Assurance Lead:</b> Jared Castiglione <b>Associate Story Designer:</b> Brad Lawrence <b>Playtesters:</b> Adam Abbate Jared Castiglione Donald Conrad Charlie Gross Brad Lawrence John Martin Derek Supranowicz Kelly Supranowicz <i>This game is a product of Bitterly Indifferent Studios</i></p></p>

<b>"What should I do next?"</b> Diana gives you a look that strongly encourages you to figure out an answer for yourself. You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Gather some vegetables->entergarden]]>><</button>> <<button [[Take the day off->pacifistintro]]>><</button>>

<b>"What should I do next?"</b> Max shrugs. "We'll probably be hosting visitors tonight, so I'd appreciate it if you could gather some vegetables. But it's up to you." You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Gather some vegetables.->entergarden]]>><</button>> <<button [[Take the day off.->pacifistintro]]>><</button>>

<b>“Have I been seeing some new vegetables on the other side of the portal?”</b> “You know what they say,” Max tells you, “variety is the spice of life.” “We’re working on getting in some better spices, actually. But in the meantime I’ve been putting in a wider range of vegetables to expand our menu options. They shouldn’t pose too much trouble for you.” You can Max about:<<if $tlevel > 4>> <<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized apron.->maxshowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>“Why am I seeing new vegetables on the other side of the portal?”</b> “We plant them over here, and you encounter them over there.” You can ask Diana about:<<if $tlevel > 4>> <<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also:<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> <<button [[Show off your customized weapon.->dianashowoff]]>><</button>><</if>> <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<<if $secondq == "lazy">><b>"Let’s just treat them like any other guests. What’s the worst that could happen?"</b> Max has his doubts, but nobody else has any better ideas.<</if>><<if $secondq == "clever">><b>"Can we feed them some oat paste? If we make sure their stay is forgettable, that might be the end of it."</b> "That's a pretty good idea." Max and Diana are both impressed. They'll keep it in mind.<</if>><<if $secondq == "violent">><b>"Well, I’ve got this big hammer, and I’ve gotten pretty good at hitting things with it, so…"</b> Diana’s eyes light up, but Max shakes his head. “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but people will ask questions about the disappearance of a royal survey team.”<</if>><<if $secondq == "inert">>You don't offer any ideas.<</if>> Since there's nothing that can be done about it right now, you end the night with the issue unresolved. However, Diana has been making progress with the storage situation. She should be able to keep more vegetables fresh for longer periods of time. She also hands you a small flask. "Be careful with this," she says. "It'll help you regain the will to fight, but don't overdo it. You should be safe if you only drink one of these per day." <<button[[Get ready to start a new day.->bedroom]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><</button>>

<p style="text-align:center"><p style="color:white"><b><u>SPINACH</u></b> A Smooth-Leaf Delicacy <b><u>POTATOES</u></b> Baked Potatoes Boiled Potatoes<<if $tlevel > 1>> Roasted Potatoes Mashed Potatoes<</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> Fried Potatoes<</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>> <b><u>ONIONS</u></b> Onion Soup Onion Stew<</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> Onion Surprise <b><u>CARROTS</u></b> Steamed Carrots Sautéed Carrots<</if>></p> <i>All items subject to availability.</i>

<p style="color:white"><b><u>POTATOES</u></b> <i>Baked, Boiled, Roasted, Mashed, or Fried</i><<if $tlevel > 4>> <i>Potatoes Rockefeller</i><</if>> <b><u>ONIONS</u></b> <i>Onion Soup, Onion Stew, or Onion Surprise</i><<if $tlevel > 4>> <i>Onions Foster</i><</if>> <b><u>CARROTS</u></b> <i>Steamed, Sautéed, or Julienne</i><<if $tlevel > 4>> <i>Carrots Casino</i> <b><u>TURNIPS</u></b> <i>They're turnips.</i><</if>> <b><u>ASSORTED VEGETABLES</u></b> <i>Roast Vegetables Steamed Vegetables Stewed Vegetables</i><<if $tlevel > 4>> <i>Vegetable Casserole Vegetable Bread</i> <b><u>DESSERTS</u></b> <i>Potato Sundae Onion Smoothie Glazed Carrots Garlic Pudding Vegetable Melba</i><</if>></p> <i>All items subject to availability.</i>

<<if $finalq == "say">><b>"I don’t know what to say"</b> "You could say thanks," Diana volunteers. You can tell that she and Max are trying not to get emotional.<</if>><<if $finalq == "thankyou">><b>"I don’t know how to thank you."</b> “You have no idea how much we owe you for rescuing us from an eternity of oat paste,” Max says. "So, we'll call it even."<</if>><<if $finalq == "abouttime">><b>"It’s about damn time."</b> Diana smirks. “We did our best,” says Max. “It’s not easy to build up a steady clientele when people keep forgetting you exist!"<</if>> They tell you that you're welcome to stay here for as long as you like, but they'll also understand if you're ready to leave. <<button[[Get ready to start a new day.->bedroom]]>><<set $ptitles.shuffle()>><<set $locatemax.shuffle()>><<set $locatediana.shuffle()>><<set $merchadj.shuffle()>><<set $merchgood.shuffle()>><<set $merchtype.shuffle()>><<set $guestpool.shuffle()>><<set $ambience.shuffle()>><<set $player.hitpoints = $player.maxhp>><</button>>

Your departing guests make enough noise to wake you up early. Normally, you begin collecting vegetables a little later in the morning. You figure that there’s no harm in getting an early start, and you grab your apron. Then you hear hoofbeats approaching the tavern. That’s unusual for this time of day. You should head to the kitchen and see what’s going on. <<button [[kitchenchoice<-Kitchen]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Kitchen">><</button>>

Max is in the kitchen, and it looks like he was on his way to get you. “Look,” he starts in a rush, “you know that we haven’t asked about your past, and I pride myself on not judging people, but…” Max is interrupted by a figure appearing in the doorway of the dining room.<<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">> The hulking brute on the other side of the kitchen is clearly a bounty hunter, and you’re pretty sure you know who sent him. “He said he’s been hired to escort you to a wedding,” Max explains. “I said that you’re more than capable of getting there on your own, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Tension hangs in the air as the two of you stare at each other. <<elseif $motive == "Criminal mastermind">> You knew that constables had been dispatched to bring you to justice, and now you’ve come face to face with one such officer of the law. The woman in the doorway is tall and graceful, but it’s clear that she’s ready to take you in dead or alive. “I’m sure this is all a misunderstanding,” Max says. “There’s no reason for things to get violent.”<<elseif $motive == "Prodigal child">> You know that your family has enemies, and you’ve heard stories about hired assassins and kidnappers used to apply leverage in high-stakes business negotiations. Those stories come to mind as you look at the scowling thug who has fixed his eyes on you. “He says he’s a family friend,” Max explains, “but if that’s true, I’ll eat my weight in potato leather.”<<else>> There are a lot of reasons why people have wanted to find you. Many of them come to mind as you look at the scowling thug who has fixed his eyes on you. “He says he’s a family friend,” Max explains, “but if that’s true, I’ll eat my weight in potato leather.”<</if>> You could try to talk your way out of this. Things seem tense, but there might be a chance to negotiate. If you think that there’s no hope of resolving this peacefully, you could strike first and gain the element of surprise. <<button [[talkfirst<-Persuade.]]>> <</button>> <<button [[strikefirst<-Attack.]]>> <</button>>

You don’t get a chance to speak before <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>the bounty hunter lunges at you. He looks big and powerful, and it’s going to hurt if he can get his hands on you.<<elseif $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>the constable sweeps through the kitchen with a shout. “You are under arrest!”<<else>>the thug decides that there’s no point in keeping up his charade. He rushes towards you with dubious intentions.<</if>> Luckily, the recent additions cluttering the kitchen make it a difficult space to move through. You keep some distance between you and your opponent, making your way towards the dining room. It’s your best hope for escape. <<button [[diningchoice<-Dining Room]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Dining Room">><</button>>

You’ve seen enough of the kitchen implements in action to know which ones are especially dangerous. Max dives for cover as you <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>throw a vicious-looking automatic peeler at the bounty hunter, followed by a spice rack and a winding toaster that regularly burst into flames. <<elseif $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>throw a spice rack at the constable. Going quietly is for chumps, and you follow up by throwing an automatic peeler. There’s a winding toaster nearby that regularly bursts into flames, and you throw that, too.<<else>>throw a winding toaster at the thug. He bats it aside and moves towards you with dubious intentions.<</if>> Luckily, the recent additions cluttering the kitchen make it a difficult space to move through. You keep some distance between you and your opponent, making your way towards the dining room. It’s your best hope for escape. <<button [[diningchoice<-Dining Room]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Dining Room">><</button>>

Time seems to slow down. Or maybe your brain speeds up. Either way, you get a moment to examine your surroundings and realize that today's visitor didn’t come alone. <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">> There’s another bounty hunter waiting for you in the dining room, and the one that you left in the kitchen will be joining you shortly.<<elseif $motive == "Criminal mastermind">> There’s another constable in the dining room. He's smaller than his partner, but the half-smile on his face suggests that he might be dangerous.<<else>> The thug's partner is waiting for you in the dining room. She's even bigger than her associate, who should be arriving from the kitchen momentarily.<</if>> The odds have not shifted in your favor. Everything pauses while you consider your next move. The stairs are nearby, and the close quarters of the guest rooms would prevent your opponents from attacking simultaneously. Escaping through the front door offers more options, but you’d have to dodge around your new opponent. <<button [[upstairschoice<-Up the stairs!]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Upstairs Guest Rooms">><</button>> <<button [[porchchoice<-Out the door!]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Front Porch">><</button>>

You were able to use the kitchen environment to your advantage, but you realize that the dining room offers fewer distractions. Since you can’t get across the room to escape through the front door, you head upstairs to the guest rooms. You hear both of your pursuers close behind, which is a relief. At least they aren’t looking to trap you upstairs while they burn the building down. You've make it to the top of the stairs and start racing down the hallway. You had a plan ready for once you got up here, right? <ul><li>"[[Yes, I shall face them in combat!->upstairsend]]"</li> <li>"[[No, but maybe I can jump out a window to safety!->upstairsend]]"</li></ul>

Smart thinking, you don’t want to be trapped upstairs. The dining room offers fewer distractions, but you still think quickly enough to grab a tapestry and throw it over this second <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>bounty hunter<<elseif $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>constable<<else>>thug<</if>>. You flip over a table and a few extra chairs to put more obstacles in the path of anyone trying to follow you outside. Unfortunately, it looks like you don’t have enough time to steal one of their horses and escape. You’ll have to make your final stand in front of the tavern's giant wooden radish. The good news is that Diana came running from the outbuildings when she heard the commotion. She settles into a fighting stance as your two pursuers burst out of the tavern’s front door. “Let’s keep this fight fair, shall we?” You end up facing off against the smaller of your two pursuers, while Diana handles his bigger partner. <<button [[Prepare to fight.->entergarden]]>><<set $combatstart to "off">><<set $endgame to "on">><</button>>

You are stopped in your tracks by a heroic grunt, followed by a tremendous crash. Your attention is drawn to Diana, standing at the top of the stairs. You backtrack to join her, and that’s when you can see the wreckage. A pair of twitching bodies are pinned underneath the splintered remains of a massive wardrobe on the landing below. Diana gives you an unreadable look. “I warned Max that the floorboards up here are unstable,” she says. “Some of this new furniture seems like it could tip over in a heavy breeze.” <<button [[absolutefinal<-That ended well.]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Front Porch">><</button>>

Both of the unwelcome guests have been neutralized, but the tavern's atmosphere is undeniably changed. It might be for the best if you made use of your new travel documents. Luckily, there are two horses in the stable that can help with your escape. Max and Diana promise to handle the cleanup and send you on your way. <b>THE END</b>

The tannery is full of crafting materials that are being used for a variety of purposes. Diana is curing some potato leather in the corner, and some onion stalks are hanging from the ceiling to dry. Max has found a chemical process that creates a light, gauzy material out of garlic skin. It reminds you of lace. A wide assortment of tools, including awls, needles, and shaping instruments are available. If you wanted to, you could spend some time [[adding decorative flair to either your weapon or your apron->crafting]].<<if $weaponcrafted == "yes">> Currently, a <<print $weaponmat>> <<print $weaponstyle>> winds around the <<print $weaponloc>> of your weapon. You can change that, if you'd like to replace it with something else.<</if>><<if $armorcrafted == "yes">> Right now, a <<print $armorcolor>> <<print $armormat>> <<print $armortype>> enhances the edges of your apron. You can change that, if you'd like to replace it with something else.<</if>> From here, you can go back outside. <<button [[property<-Go outside.]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Back Garden and Outbuildings">><</button>>

Okay, so we're improving the appearance of your armaments. Are you going to customize your weapon, or your armor? <<button [[weaponcraft<-Weapon.]]>><</button>> <<button [[armorcraft<-Armor.]]>><</button>> <<button [[tannery<-Neither, actually.]]>><</button>>

Are you going to use potato leather, or onion-stalk rope? <<button [[weaponcraft2<-Leather.]]>><<set $weaponmat = "leather">><<set $weaponcrafted = "yes">><</button>> <<button [[weaponcraft2<-Rope.]]>><<set $weaponmat = "rope">><<set $weaponcrafted = "yes">><</button>> <<button [[tannery<-Actually, I want to remove all decoration from my weapon.]]>><<set $weaponcrafted = "no">><</button>>

Are you customizing the handle of your weapon? It might give you a better grip. Or did you want to put some embellishments on the head of your weapon? Your opponents might be able to admire your handiwork from an intensely close-range perspective. <<button [[weaponcraft3<-The handle, but let's get fancy and call it a haft.]]>><<set $weaponloc = "haft">><</button>> <<button [[weaponcraft3<-This is going on the head, where everyone can see it.]]>><<set $weaponloc = "head">><</button>>

And will you be using braided material, or just a simple wrap? <<button [[weaponcrafted<-A wrap.]]>><<set $weaponstyle = "wrap">><</button>> <<button [[weaponcrafted<-A braid.]]>><<set $weaponstyle = "braid">><</button>>

And voilà! A <<print $weaponmat>> <<print $weaponstyle>> now winds around the <<print $weaponloc>> of your weapon. Just one more question: Why? <ul><li>[[It looks cool->tannery][$weaponreason = "cool"]]</li> <li>[[It looks dangerous->tannery][$weaponreason = "dangerous"]]</li> <li>[[It looks pretty->tannery][$weaponreason = "pretty"]]</li> <li>[[It seemed like a good idea at the time->tannery][$weaponreason = "good"]]</li></ul>

Are you going to use onion cord, or the garlic lace? <<button [[armorcraft2<-Onion.]]>><<set $armormat = "onion">><<set $armorcrafted = "yes">><</button>> <<button [[armorcraft2<-Garlic.]]>><<set $armormat = "garlic">><<set $armorcrafted = "yes">><</button>> <<button [[tannery<-Actually, I want to remove all embellishments from my armor.]]>><<set $armorcrafted = "no">><</button>>

You can add some piping around the edges of your apron, which would define its shape better. Or you could add a decorative fringe that would emphasize your movements. <<button [[armorcraft3<-Piping will express my individuality.]]>><<set $armortype = "piping">><</button>> <<button [[armorcraft3<-Fringe is NEVER not stylish.]]>><<set $armortype = "fringe">><</button>>

And are you going to add some color, or just bleach it white? <<button [[armorcrafted<-Red.]]>><<set $armorcolor = "red">><</button>> <<button [[armorcrafted<-Blue.]]>><<set $armorcolor = "blue">><</button>> <<button [[armorcrafted<-Green.]]>><<set $armorcolor = "green">><</button>> <<button [[armorcrafted<-White.]]>><<set $armorcolor = "white">><</button>>

All done! A <<print $armorcolor>> <<print $armormat>> <<print $armortype>> now enhances the edges of your apron. Just one more question: Why? <ul><li>[[It gives me an edge on the battlefield.->tannery][$armorline = "edge"]]</li> <li>[[Craftsmanship matters.->tannery][$armorline = "craft"]]</li> <li>[[Looking your best is important.->tannery][$armorline = "lookbest"]]</li> <li>[[I have my reasons.->tannery][$armorline = "reasons"]]</li></ul>

Wow! There's a reason why you don't try to drink one of these things during combat. After the coughing stops and your eyes are done watering, you're ready to get back into the fight. <<button [[Back to the hunt!->pickafight]]>><<set $monsterset.shuffle()>><</button>>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "nemesis", strikenum: 40, dodgenum: 40, hitpoints: 24, dealsdmg: 5, overdrive: 4, intro: "You're about to square off against an experienced fighter, and losing may be fatal.", losemsg: "His strike knocks you to the ground, and you won't have a chance to avoid his next blow", windup: "He slashes at you with his sword, ", mhitn: "but you manage to avoid it", mhity: "and he lands a hit", odmsg: "Your opponent is starting to look tired. His next attack may be desperate.", msmashcounter: "His wild attack is poorly executed, and you see it coming. You're able to dodge and injure him with a counterattack", msmashn: "His wild attack is poorly executed, and it fails to connect", msmashy: "You knew he was about to try something desperate, but you were unable to stop him. The strike is extra painful when it connects", neardeath: "You might be close to ending this battle. Your opponent is in pretty rough shape. ", odcancel: "You and your opponents both try wild attacks, born of desperation. It's a pity that neither of you pair desperation with accuracy. Nobody ends up getting hurt.", pdodgeprep: "You warily keep your distance from your opponent", pdodgen: "but he still manages to cut you", pdodgey: "and his swing goes wide, allowing you to avoid it", phitn: "Your opponent skillfully dodges your attack", phity: "You land a solid blow on your enemy. He makes a noise like it hurts, which is nice", psmashy: "You hit him really hard, and you hear gratifying crunch noises", psmashcritfail: "You had a good idea, but flawed execution. Your opponent injures you even as you fail to harm him", winmsg: "You land a final hit on your enemy, knocking him out of the fight", }>>

Diana's throwing knife catches your opponent in the shoulder, pushing him off balance before he can strike a killing blow. It gives you enough time to scramble desperately to your feet and run towards the only escape you can think of. You dash back into the tavern and head to the cellar, briefly losing your opponent in the maze of barrels and supplies. It doesn't buy you much time, but it may be enough. <<button [[Flee through the Gateway!->escapeflight]]>><<set $locationdisp = "Fleeing">><</button>>

For a moment, you think you've made it to safety. You'll never know whether you stumbled on a root by accident, or whether a plant deliberately tripped you, but in the next instant you're flying through the air and your <<print $player.weapon>> slips from your fingers. An enormous pile of greenery breaks your fall, but it's not a soft landing. There's more than enough of it to surround you completely as you sprawl across the ground. This may not be the <i>greatest</i> time to lose consciousness, but your injuries don't give you much of a choice. Your autonomic nervous system will keep things running smoothly until you wake up. <<button [[Rest your eyes for a moment.->victimchoice]]>><</button>>

The first thing you see is your <<print $player.weapon>> lying in the dirt not too far away. Then you see a pair of scuffed, muddy boots walking towards it cautiously. You're still laid out on the ground, underneath a tangled riot of plant life, and you'll remain concealed if you don't move. The person is only visible from the knees down, but you can see enough to recognize that it's neither Max nor Diana. <<button [[Hold still and hope that you aren't noticed.->finale]]>><<set $sprawled = "stay">><</button>> <<button [[Quietly work your way deeper into the undergrowth.->finale]]>><<set $sprawled = "move">><</button>> <<button [[Pray for divine intervention.->finale]]>><<set $sprawled = "prayer">><</button>>

<<if $sprawled == "stay">>You're exhausted, and staying put is a smart idea right now.<<elseif $sprawled == "move">>It turns out that movement is more difficult than you expected, so you give up and lie still for a moment.<<elseif $sprawled == "prayer">>You say a brief prayer for assistance, hoping that it gets heard.<</if>> The boots walk over to your <<print $player.weapon>>, and their owner bends down to inspect it carefully. You recognize him as the same man you were fighting before. He picks up your weapon, and you have just enough time to wonder whether he saw you before a squad of eggplant vigilantes explode out of the vegetation, seeking vengeance. There are too many of them, and he's too surprised by their appearance to defend himself effectively. While they administer a ruthless beating, you manage to slink back to the portal and the safety of the tavern. <<button [[That happened.->absolutefinal]]>><</button>>

<b>"Hey, look at the <<print $weaponmat>> <<print $weaponstyle>> that winds around the <<print $weaponloc>> of my <<print $player.weapon>>. <<if $weaponreason == "cool">>Doesn't it look cool?<<elseif $weaponreason == "dangerous">>Doesn't it look dangerous?<<elseif $weaponreason == "pretty">>Doesn't it look pretty?<<elseif $weaponreason == "good">>It seemed like a good idea at the time.<</if>></b> Diana looks unimpressed. "That won't do much good in a fight." You can ask Diana about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->dianaremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->dianasalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->dianamallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->dianalive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->dianavariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->dianahiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->dianamilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->diananext]]>><</button>> You can also: <<if $diananow == "dianakitchen">><<button [[End the Conversation.->kitchen]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianaporch">><<button [[End the Conversation.->porch]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianacellar">><<button [[End the Conversation.->cellar]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $diananow == "dianasmithy">><<button [[End the Conversation.->smithy]]>><</button>><</if>>

<b>"Hey, look at the <<print $armorcolor>> <<print $armormat>> <<print $armortype>> enhancing the edges of my apron! <<if $armorline == "craft">>Craftsmanship matters.<<elseif $armorline == "lookbest">>Looking your best is important.<<elseif $armorline == "pretty">>Doesn't it look pretty?<<elseif $armorline == "reasons">>I had my reasons.<</if>></b> You've spent enough time around Max to recognize when he's trying to be diplomatic. "That's certainly... something," he says. You can Max about: <<if $tlevel > 4>><<button [[Memories->maxremember]]>><</button>> <<button [[Salads->maxsalad]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 3>> <<button [[Hammers->maxmallet]]>><</button>> <<button [[Age->maxlive]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $tlevel > 2>> <<button [[Vegetables->maxvariety]]>><</button>> <</if>><<if $tlevel > 1>><<button [[Hiding->maxhiding]]>><</button>><</if>> <<button [[Milk->maxmilk]]>><</button>> <<button [[What next?->maxnext]]>><</button>> You can also: <<if $maxnow == "maxcommonroom">><<button [[End the Conversation.->commonroom]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxupstairs">><<button [[End the Conversation.->upstairs]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $maxnow == "maxbackyard">><<button [[End the Conversation.->property]]>><</button>><</if>>

<<set $vegstore to 0>><<set $combatstart to "training">><<include "player">>Early the next day, Max and Diana talk to you about the cellar. “It’s not a problem if you open that doorway,” Max is saying, “It’s just that — as a matter of policy — nobody goes through the portal at night. In either direction. It keeps things from getting out of hand.” Diana says nothing. “In fact, you’re uniquely positioned to do us a huge favor,” Max continues. “I’m sure you’ve noticed that my sister and I have our hands full keeping this place from falling apart. But you can help.” Although the Gateway's pull seems less powerful today, you're intrigued by the idea of exploring it further. <<button [[See where he's going with this.->dayafter2]]>><</button>>

It would be for the best if you made use of your new travel documents, and it turns out that they're pretty good. You successfully run from your problems. <b>THE END</b>

<<set $monster= { groupname: "Diana", strikenum: 0, dodgenum: 100, hitpoints: 1000, dealsdmg: 999, overdrive: 3, intro: "Diana is ready to kill you now.", losemsg: "You have been executed", windup: "Diana moves with inhuman grace, ", mhitn: "and there is no way for you to avoid it", mhity: "and strikes a killing blow so quickly that you don't even see it", odmsg: "Diana doesn't have an overdrive attack. She doesn't need one.", msmashcounter: "The only way to see this message is by cheating", msmashn: "Diana's attacks never miss", msmashy: "Diana's hit doesn't kill you instantly, because she wants you to spend the last moments of your life in severe pain", neardeath: "You have cheated to get to his point. ", odcancel: "You will never see this message.", pdodgeprep: "You desperately try to avoid Diana's attack", pdodgen: "but you have no hope of escape", pdodgey: "and must have used some kind of cheat code", phitn: "Diana puts no effort into dodging your attack. You utterly fail to injure her", phity: "You have no hope of hurting Diana", psmashy: "Diana shrugs off even your most powerful attack", psmashcritfail: "Diana glares at you, and you wet your pants in terror just seconds before she kills you", winmsg: "You have cheated so hard that it broke the entire game", }>>

<<set $combatstart = "death">>The evening begins with disappointment: No guests visit the tavern tonight, and there's no wagon full of merchandise for you to steal. There's still a chance to grab some small valuables before heading out, so you wait until Max and Diana go to sleep. <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>You've had a lot of practice sneaking quietly into bedrooms, and you figure that it should be easy to prowl through the tavern. You start with Diana's room.<</if>><<if $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>As an accomplished criminal, it's going to be easy to prowl through the tavern and steal everything that isn't nailed down. You start with Diana's room.<</if>><<if $motive == "Prodigal child">>Prowling through the tavern should be a little bit like sneaking back into your house after curfew — your parents rarely caught you. You begin looking for valuables in Diana's room.<</if>><<if $motive == "Menace to society">>As an accomplished criminal who is also familiar with sneaking past alert parents and conducting clandestine liaisons in darkened bedrooms, it's going to be easy to prowl through the tavern and steal everything that isn't nailed down. You start with Diana's room.<</if>> That's where you encounter another disappointment: Diana has been expecting a stunt like this. She uncovers a lantern to reveal that she has been waiting for you, and her eyes show that she’s not too thrilled about it. She calmly asks, “Do you want me to kill you, or should I give you a chance to run?” <<button [[Fight.->entergarden]]>><</button>> <<button [[RUN!->caughtleaving]]>><</button>>

You leave the tavern under somewhat embarrassing circumstances. This was a good place to hide, but it’s time to move on to bigger and better <<if $motive == "Commitment-phobe">>(and more romantic)<</if>><<if $motive == "Criminal mastermind">>(and more crime-y)<</if>><<if $motive == "Prodigal child">>(and less responsible)<</if>><<if $motive == "Menace to society">>(and more crime-y, more romantic, but much less responsible)<</if>> things. <b>THE END.</b>