Chuk and the Arena

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<<set $act to 1>> <<set $color to 'grey'>> <<set $money to 0>> <<set $room to 'mainlobby'>> <<set $deathcount to 0>> <<set $cardpicked to false>> <<set $cardcolor to 'grey'>> <<set $pose to 'triumphant'>> <<set $sodashaken to false>> <<set $toaddeployed to false>> <<set $maintenancemanscared to false>> <<set $enamet to false>> <<set $enatalkedto2 to false>> <<set $enatalkedto3 to false>> <<set $baronmet to false>> <<set $barongrey to false>> <<set $baronblue to false>> <<set $barongreen to false>> <<set $baronred to false>> <<set $bookgrey to false>> <<set $bookred to false>> <<set $bookgreen to false>> <<set $bookblue to false>> <<set $startbookgrey to false>> <<set $startbookred to false>> <<set $startbookgreen to false>> <<set $startbookblue to false>> <<set $kitchenagain to false>> <<set $handbooktaken to false>> <<set $boxtaken to false>> <<set $fortuneact3 to false>> <<set $cards to 0>> <<set $madamemetinc to false>> <<set $listen to 0>> <<set $act2startedn to false>>

FIGHT IN THE ARENA! BECOME THE CHAMPION! GLORY AWAITS! His Majesty Chairperor M'zzur, Ruler of the Known Universe, invites all brave warriors to the Grand Galactic Fighting Tournament, which shall take place onboard His Majesty's ship, the Perfect Paradise. The winner of the tournament shall receive the title of the Chairperor's Grand Champion and a fabulous prize, which His Majesty shall bestow on them personally during the closing ceremony. Fighters of every race are welcome! Prove your worth and win glory for your planet! You raise your eyes from the crumpled leaflet you've read at least a hundred times. Through the small window of the space shuttle you look at the Perfect Paradise. The flagship of M'zzur Enterprises orbits Kaldera – a small, barren planet, gleaming red and gold in the light of its giant sun. Though the Paradise is a massive starship, its size is overshadowed by the gleaming, beautiful moon that tows behind it. The sight of that moon makes your heart race. [[Think about the Crystal Moon|thinkmoon]] [[Think about Chairperor M'zzur|thinkmzzur]] [[Think about the tournament|thinktournament]] [[Think about your home planet|thinkgyff]]

<<set $useball to 'none'>><<set $usefakehead to 'none'>><<set $useleaflet to 'none'>><<set $useoveralls to 'none'>><<set $usemop to 'none'>><<set $usescissors to 'none'>><<set $useleaf to 'none'>><<set $usescrewdriver to 'none'>><<set $usewatch to 'none'>><<set $usetoad to 'none'>><<set $usepaint to 'none'>><<set $useleeks to 'none'>><<set $usegoldenleeks to 'none'>><<set $usesoda to 'none'>><<set $useband to 'none'>><<set $usecard to 'none'>><<set $useportrait to 'none'>><<set $usebeard to 'none'>><<set $usecape to 'none'>><<set $usebox to 'none'>><<set $usebook to 'none'>><<set $usegoodbook to 'none'>><<set $usecrickets to 'none'>><<set $useemptybox to 'none'>><<set $useremote to 'none'>><<set $usegoldenremote to 'none'>><<set $useaccesscard to 'none'>><<set $usepigeon to 'none'>><<set $usefuel to 'none'>><<set $usestevescard to 'none'>>\ [[Close inventory|$return]] <<if $room == 'servicecorridor' || $room == 'storeroom' || $room == 'kitchen' || $room == 'quikroom' || $room == 'repairshop'>>You're disguised as a Quik and can't change your colour here. <<else>>Current colour: <<if $color=="grey">>Grey <<elseif $color=="red">>Red <<elseif $color=="blue">>Blue <<elseif $color=="green">>Green <</if>>\ Change colour:[[Red|inventory][$color to "red"]][[Blue|inventory][$color to "blue"]][[Green|inventory][$color to "green"]][[Grey|inventory][$color to "grey"]] <</if>>\ You're wearing: a brown traveller's outfit<<if $beardon>>, a fake beard<</if>><<if $fakeheadon>>, a fake Quik head<</if>><<if $overallson>>, red janitor's overalls<</if>>. Money: $money MEC <<if $accesscard>>Access card [[Examine|accesscard]][[Use|useaccesscard]][[Combine with|combineaccesscard]] <</if>>\ <<if $ball>>Blue foam ball [[Examine|ball]][[Use|useball]][[Combine with|combineball]] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>Cape of gold [[Examine|cape]][[Use|usecape]][[Combine with|combinecape]] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>Crickets in icebox [[Examine|crickets]][[Use|usecrickets]][[Combine with|combinecrickets]] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>Elastic band [[Examine|band]][[Use|useband]][[Combine with|combineband]] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>Empty icebox [[Examine|emptybox]][[Use|useemptybox]][[Combine with|combineemptybox]] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>Fake beard<<if $beardon>> (currently wearing)<</if>> [[Examine|beard]]<<if $beardon>>\<<else>>[[Use|usebeard]][[Combine with|combinebeard]]<</if>><<if $beardon>>[[Take off|takeoffbeard]]<<else>>[[Put on|putonbeard]]<</if>> <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>Fake Quik head <<if $fakeheadon>> (currently wearing)<</if>> [[Examine|fakehead]]<<if $fakeheadon>>\<<else>>[[Use|usefakehead]][[Combine with|combinefakehead]]<</if>><<if $fakeheadon>>[[Take off|takeofffakehead]]<<else>>[[Put on|putonfakehead]]<</if>> <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>Gold spray paint [[Examine|paint]][[Use|usepaint]][[Combine with|combinepaint]] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>Golden leeks [[Examine|goldenleeks]][[Use|usegoldenleeks]][[Combine with|combinegoldenleeks]] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>Golden remote control [[Examine|goldenremote]][[Use|usegoldenremote]][[Combine with|combinegoldenremote]] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>Handbook of Insults [[Examine|book]][[Use|usebook]][[Combine with|combinebook]] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>Homing Rocket Pigeon [[Examine|pigeon]][[Use|usepigeon]][[Combine with|combinepigeon]] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>Icebox [[Examine|box]][[Use|usebox]][[Combine with|combinebox]] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>Improved Handbook of Insults [[Examine|goodbook]][[Use|usegoodbook]][[Combine with|combinegoodbook]] <</if>>\ <<if $overalls>>Janitor's overalls <<if $overallson>> (currently wearing)<</if>> [[Examine|overalls]]<<if $overallson>>\<<else>>[[Use|useoveralls]][[Combine with|combineoveralls]]<</if>><<if $overallson>>[[Take off|takeoffoveralls]]<<else>>[[Put on|putonoveralls]]<</if>> <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>Korrian Horned Toad [[Examine|toad]][[Use|usetoad]][[Combine with|combinetoad]] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>Large leeks [[Examine|leeks]][[Use|useleeks]][[Combine with|combineleeks]] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>Mop head [[Examine|mop]][[Use|usemop]][[Combine with|combinemop]] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>M'zzur Soda [[Examine|soda]][[Use|usesoda]][[Combine with|combinesoda]][[Drink soda|drinksoda]][[Shake the bottle|shakesoda]][[Open the bottle|opensoda]] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>Personalised tarot card [[Examine|portrait]][[Use|useportrait]][[Combine with|combineportrait]] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>Pet shop leaflet [[Examine|leaflet]][[Use|useleaflet]][[Combine with|combineleaflet]] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>Pocket watch [[Examine|watch]][[Use|usewatch]][[Combine with|combinewatch]] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>Reddish leaf [[Examine|leaf]][[Use|useleaf]][[Combine with|combineleaf]] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>Remote control [[Examine|remote]][[Use|useremote]][[Combine with|combineremote]] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>Scissors [[Examine|scissors]][[Use|usescissors]][[Combine with|combinescissors]] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>Screwdriver [[Examine|screwdriver]][[Use|usescrewdriver]][[Combine with|combinescrewdriver]] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>Solid rocket fuel [[Examine|fuel]][[Use|usefuel]][[Combine with|combinefuel]] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>Steve's business card [[Examine|stevescard]][[Use|usestevescard]][[Combine with|combinestevescard]] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>Tarot card [[Examine|card]][[Use|usecard]][[Combine with|combinecard]] <</if>>\

A soft, blue ball the size of your head. It has the words "Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop" printed on it in white letters. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Blue foam ball <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useball == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw a ball at it. <<elseif $useball == 'steve'>>CHUK: He doesn't need a foam ball. <<elseif $useball == 'ena'>>CHUK: She doesn't need a foam ball. <<elseif $useball == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that back. <<elseif $useball == 'quiks'>>CHUK: It looks a lot like their heads, but I don't think they want it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useball][$useball to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useball][$useball to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useball][$useball to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useball][$useball to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useball][$useball to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useball == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That robot doesn't need a foam ball. <<elseif $useball == 'janitor'>>CHUK: He doesn't need a foam ball. <<elseif $useball == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useball][$useball to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useball][$useball to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useball][$useball to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useball == 'librarian'>>CHUK: She doesn't need a foam ball. <<elseif $useball == 'robot'>>CHUK: That robot doesn't need a foam ball. <<elseif $useball == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useball][$useball to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useball][$useball to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useball][$useball to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useball == 'plant'>>CHUK: I don't want to damage a rare plant specimen... more than absolutely necessary. <<elseif $useball == 'painter'>>CHUK: She doesn't need a foam ball. <<elseif $useball == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useball][$useball to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useball][$useball to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useball][$useball to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useball == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't open the door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useball][$useball to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Blue foam ball <<if $ballwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything.<<elseif $ballwith =='leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything.<<else>>Combine with which item?<</if>> <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineball][$ballwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combineball][$ballwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|ballwithscissors]] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$ballwith to 'none']]

A hollowed-out blue foam ball with two holes cut in it. Uncannily resembles a Quik head. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Fake Quik head <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'steve'>>CHUK: He doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'ena'>>CHUK: She doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that back. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'quiks'>>CHUK: They don't need that. They already look like Quik. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'securibot'>>CHUK: I could use it to trick the robot into thinking I'm a Quik, but I can't just hand it over. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'janitor'>>CHUK: He doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: It doesn't need that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'librarian'>>CHUK: She doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'robot'>>CHUK: It doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'books'>>CHUK: It looks quite lifelike, but I don't think it can read. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'painter'>>CHUK: She doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'madame'>>CHUK: It's much too small for her head. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'plant']] <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't open the door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'guard'>>CHUK: I don't think he'd like to dress up as a Quik. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'baron'>>CHUK: He doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'bearded'>>CHUK: She doesn't need that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: He wouldn't look good in that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'toad'>>CHUK: It's much too big for the toad to wear. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'ledge'>>CHUK: I'll leave it here and it'll scare the life out of my next opponent! ... It'd never work, would it. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'deck'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'madame'>>CHUK: It's much too small for her head. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: He doesn't need that. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'statue'>>CHUK: M'zzur would look much better with a Quik head, but I may still need this disguise. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'moon'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usefakehead == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefakehead == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|usefakehead][$usefakehead to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ [[Use with Rex|defeatrex]] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Fake Quik head <<if $fakeheadwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: It won't look... lifelike if I cut any more holes in it. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'overalls'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: It's supposed to be a Quik head, so it doesn't need any hair. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: It looks quite lifelike, but I don't think it can read. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: It's much too big for the toad to wear. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This guy doesn't want a drink. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'band'>>CHUK: It stays on my head without an elastic band. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: It wouldn't look like a Quik head with a mop beard. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'book'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult a fake head. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult a fake head. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: It's much too big for the pigeon to wear. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fakeheadwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $overalls>>[[Janitor's overalls|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'overalls']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinefakehead][$fakeheadwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$fakeheadwith to 'none']]

Red janitor's overalls. Just a bit oversized for you. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Janitor's overalls <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useoveralls == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'steve'>>CHUK: He wouldn't look good in that. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'ena'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good in that. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'girl'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good in that. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'quiks'>>CHUK: They don't need that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useoveralls == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Robots don't need clothing. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'janitor'>>CHUK: He's already got his own pair. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useoveralls == 'librarian'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good in that. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'robot'>>CHUK: Robots don't need clothing. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useoveralls == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'painter'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good in that. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: I don't want to wash that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useoveralls == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useoveralls == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useoveralls == 'quik'>>CHUK: It doesn't need that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useoveralls == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't open the door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useoveralls][$useoveralls to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Janitor's overalls <<if $overallswith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $overallswith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I'd rather just roll up the sleeves. <<elseif $overallswith == 'mop'>>CHUK: These could go together well, but I don't want to pretend I'm a real janitor. <<elseif $overallswith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $overallswith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineoveralls][$overallswith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combineoveralls][$overallswith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineoveralls][$overallswith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combineoveralls][$overallswith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineoveralls][$overallswith to 'scissors']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$overallswith to 'none']]

<<set $overallson to false>>\ You take off the janitor's overalls. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

<<set $overallson to true>>\ You pull the red overalls over your clothes and roll up the sleeves and legs. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

You read the leaflet. The Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop! A simple solution to all your pet-related needs! Order at our Amazing Insta-Transmission Booth and don't wait even one second for the delivery! On offer: Pets: Pink Nebula Bunnies, Alluvian Arboreal Dogs, Red Sun Starfish, Korrian Horned Toads, and much more! Special offer: real Homing Rocket Pigeons available now! Send your messages through space, with style! Pet Foods: Dry, Fresh, Live (crickets)! Accessories [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Pet shop leaflet <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that back. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'quiks'>>CHUK: I don't think they want that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'robot'>>CHUK: It's got enough things to read. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'plant']] <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'overalls'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'mops']] <<if $overallstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Use with janitor's overalls|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'overalls']] <</if>> [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't help here. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'guard'>>CHUK: Hey, check out this awesome pet shop! It's right down that corridor! ROYAL GUARD: My employment contract explicitly prohibits me from purchasing pets when on duty, so NO THANKS. Sir. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'largepot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'leeks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'baron'>>CHUK: I'm pretty sure he's got one of those, too. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Yup, pretty sure that's a leaflet for this store. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'bearded'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'toad'>>CHUK: Remember that store, toad? ... It's fallen asleep. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'deck'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'swords'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'valves'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'valves2'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'rex'>>CHUK: I wonder if General Vox bought this monster in the Instant Delivery Pet Shop? <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'ship'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'posterright'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $useleaflet == 'guards'>>CHUK: I don't think they're interested in buying pets. <<elseif $useleaflet == 'chairperor'>>CHUK: He's too focused on killing my friends to be interested in that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|useleaflet][$useleaflet to 'chairperor']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Pet shop leaflet <<if $leafletwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'ball'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'overalls'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: It looks quite lifelike, but I don't think it can read. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: Hey, look, toad! It's a leaflet from the store where I bought you. It doesn't have your picture in it, though... <<elseif $leafletwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafletwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: I'm not surprised they didn't include the prize of this pigeon in the leaflet. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $ball>>[[Blue foam ball|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'ball']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $overalls>>[[Janitor's overalls|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'overalls']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combineleaflet][$leafletwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$leafletwith to 'none']]

A clean, white mop head with thin, long threads which look like hair. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Mop head <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'steve'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'ena'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'girl'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'quiks'>>CHUK: I don't think they want fake hair. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usemop][$usemop to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usemop][$usemop to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usemop][$usemop to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usemop][$usemop to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usemop][$usemop to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'janitor'>>CHUK: He's already got a nice broom. <<elseif $usemop == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usemop][$usemop to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usemop][$usemop to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usemop][$usemop to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usemop][$usemop to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'librarian'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usemop][$usemop to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usemop][$usemop to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usemop][$usemop to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'painter'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: I don't want to wash that. <<elseif $usemop == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usemop][$usemop to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usemop][$usemop to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usemop][$usemop to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usemop][$usemop to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'mops'>>CHUK: I don't want to return it. <<elseif $usemop == 'overalls'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usemop][$usemop to 'mops']] <<if $overallstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Use with janitor's overalls|usemop][$usemop to 'overalls']] <</if>> [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants fake hair. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usemop][$usemop to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usemop][$usemop to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't open the door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usemop][$usemop to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'guard'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usemop == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usemop][$usemop to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usemop][$usemop to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usemop][$usemop to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'largepot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: Better not, the robot would make me wipe the floor if it saw this. <<elseif $usemop == 'leeks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usemop][$usemop to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usemop][$usemop to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usemop][$usemop to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usemop][$usemop to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usemop][$usemop to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. It's not as nice as his moustache. <<elseif $usemop == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that, even if it looks a little like her beard. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usemop][$usemop to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usemop][$usemop to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usemop][$usemop to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usemop == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usemop == 'toad'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usemop][$usemop to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usemop][$usemop to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usemop][$usemop to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usemop][$usemop to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usemop][$usemop to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'deck'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usemop == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usemop][$usemop to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usemop][$usemop to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usemop][$usemop to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usemop][$usemop to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usemop][$usemop to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'swords'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usemop][$usemop to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usemop][$usemop to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usemop == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usemop][$usemop to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usemop][$usemop to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usemop][$usemop to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usemop == 'statue'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usemop == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usemop == 'moon'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usemop][$usemop to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usemop][$usemop to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usemop][$usemop to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Mop head <<if $mopwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $mopwith == 'overalls'>>CHUK: These could go together well, but I don't want to pretend I'm a real janitor. <<elseif $mopwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: It's supposed to be a Quik head, so it doesn't need any hair. <<elseif $mopwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $mopwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $mopwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinemop][$mopwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinemop][$mopwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|mopwithband]] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinemop][$mopwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinemop][$mopwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinemop][$mopwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinemop][$mopwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinemop][$mopwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinemop][$mopwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $overalls>>[[Janitor's overalls|combinemop][$mopwith to 'overalls']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinemop][$mopwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinemop][$mopwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinemop][$mopwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinemop][$mopwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinemop][$mopwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinemop][$mopwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinemop][$mopwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinemop][$mopwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinemop][$mopwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinemop][$mopwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinemop][$mopwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$mopwith to 'none']]

They're extremely sharp. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Scissors <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I'd very much want to, but there are too many people watching. Besides, hurting a portrait won't really help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt him. <<elseif $usescissors == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt her. <<elseif $usescissors == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt her. <<elseif $usescissors == 'quiks'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt them. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usescissors][$usescissors to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|usescissors][$usescissors to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usescissors][$usescissors to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usescissors][$usescissors to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usescissors][$usescissors to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That would only make it angry. <<elseif $usescissors == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt him. <<elseif $usescissors == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescissors == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usescissors][$usescissors to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usescissors][$usescissors to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usescissors][$usescissors to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usescissors][$usescissors to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't want to give them back. <<elseif $usescissors == 'robot'>>CHUK: I don't want to attack it. <<elseif $usescissors == 'books'>>CHUK: I'd never hurt a book! Okay, maybe there are some books I would hurt. But not library books, that's just plain wrong. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usescissors][$usescissors to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usescissors][$usescissors to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usescissors][$usescissors to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'plant'>>CHUK: I don't need any more leaves. <<elseif $usescissors == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt her. <<elseif $usescissors == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt her. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $leafcut>>[[Use with reddish plant|usescissors][$usescissors to 'plant']] <<else>>[[Use with reddish plant|cutleaf]] <</if>>\ <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|usescissors][$usescissors to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|usescissors][$usescissors to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usescissors][$usescissors to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'mops'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut that. <<elseif $usescissors == 'overalls'>>CHUK: I'd rather just roll up the sleeves. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usescissors][$usescissors to 'mops']] <<if $overallstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Use with janitor's overalls|usescissors][$usescissors to 'overalls']] <</if>> [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usescissors][$usescissors to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usescissors][$usescissors to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't help here. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usescissors][$usescissors to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'guard'>>ROYAL GUARD: Don't even think about attacking me with that, sir. I would have to shoot you; I'm not really opposed to that idea, but you probably are. <<elseif $usescissors == 'grate'>>CHUK: I can't cut metal bars with scissors. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usescissors][$usescissors to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usescissors][$usescissors to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usescissors][$usescissors to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'leeks'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut that. <<elseif $usescissors == 'carrots'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usescissors][$usescissors to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usescissors][$usescissors to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usescissors][$usescissors to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usescissors][$usescissors to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usescissors][$usescissors to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt him. <<elseif $usescissors == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescissors == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt her. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usescissors][$usescissors to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usescissors][$usescissors to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usescissors][$usescissors to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt him. <<elseif $usescissors == 'toad'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt my toad. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usescissors][$usescissors to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usescissors][$usescissors to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'bars'>>CHUK: I can't cut metal bars with scissors. <<elseif $usescissors == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescissors == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usescissors][$usescissors to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usescissors][$usescissors to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usescissors][$usescissors to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'deck'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut that. <<elseif $usescissors == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'basket'>>CHUK: I don't want to ruin the fortune teller's knitting. <<elseif $usescissors == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usescissors == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt her. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usescissors][$usescissors to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usescissors][$usescissors to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usescissors][$usescissors to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usescissors][$usescissors to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usescissors][$usescissors to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'swords'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescissors == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usescissors][$usescissors to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usescissors][$usescissors to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt him. <<elseif $usescissors == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usescissors == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usescissors][$usescissors to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usescissors][$usescissors to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usescissors][$usescissors to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescissors == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usescissors][$usescissors to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usescissors][$usescissors to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usescissors][$usescissors to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: The scissors are not that sharp. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usescissors][$usescissors to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|freesteve]] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'rex'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usescissors][$usescissors to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'ship'>>CHUK: Damaging the ship enough to disable it is an idea, but I would need much more powerful tools. I have no time to look for them. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usescissors][$usescissors to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescissors == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescissors == 'posterright'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usescissors][$usescissors to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usescissors][$usescissors to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usescissors][$usescissors to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $usescissors == 'guards'>>CHUK: No way could I defeat all of them. <<elseif $usescissors == 'chairperor'>>CHUK: The guards will shoot me before I get to stab the Chairperor. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|usescissors][$usescissors to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|usescissors][$usescissors to 'chairperor']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Scissors <<if $scissorswith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'overalls'>>CHUK: I'd rather just roll up the sleeves. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'mop'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: It won't look... lifelike if I cut any more holes in it. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut it into pieces. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'toad'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt my toad. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: I need them whole. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: I need them whole. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'band'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'card'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I'd never destroy this work of art! <<elseif $scissorswith == 'beard'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'cape'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'book'>>CHUK: I don't want to destroy the book. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: I don't want to destroy the book. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut this. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt my pigeon. <<elseif $scissorswith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: That would be reckless and dangerous to do. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $ball>>[[Blue foam ball|ballwithscissors]] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $overalls>>[[Janitor's overalls|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'overalls']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'stevescard']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinescissors][$scissorswith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$scissorswith to 'none']]

<<set $room to 'mainlobby'>>\ <center>Main lobby area</center> You're in the main lobby area. The spacious room is filled with various aliens. A giant [[portrait of Chairperor M'zzur|mzzurportrait]] presides over the lobby. <<if $act <4>>Behind a golden counter you see [[Steve|talktosteve]] in his gaudy jacket.<<else>>There's no one behind the [[golden counter|behinddesk]].<</if>> <<if $girlmet>>In a corner of the lobby stands the [[girl advertising the Instant Delivery Pet Shop|talktogirl]].<<else>>In a corner of the lobby stands a [[human girl wearing a blue T-shirt|talktogirl]]. She's holding a bunch of leaflets and next to her you see a basket full of big, blue foam balls.<</if>> <<if $enamet>>In the opposite corner you see the [[variably-eyed lady Ena|talktoena]].<<else>>In the opposite corner you notice a [[thin, orange-skinned alien in an elegant dress|talktoena]]. Her flat face is constantly shifting as eyes of different sizes pop up and disappear back under the skin.<</if>> [[Quik|lookquiks]] are running to and fro along the walls. <<if $act == 1>>There are three possible exits in this area: a [[corridor leading north-west|blockedway]], which is blocked by red metal bars, a [[corridor leading north-east|easterncorridor]], and the door to the [[arena vestibule|startmatch1]]. <<else>>There are three possible exits in this area: a [[corridor leading north-west|westerncorridor]], a [[corridor leading north-east|easterncorridor]], and the door to the <<if $act == 2>>[[arena vestibule|startmatch2]]<<elseif $act == 3>>[[arena vestibule|startmatch3]]<<else>>[[arena vestibule|vestibuledontgo]]<</if>>.<</if>>\ <<if $act2started>>\ <<elseif $act == 2>> You notice that the northwestern exit from the lobby, which was closed off before, is now accessible. <<set $act2started to true>>\ <<else>><</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

You use the scissors to hollow out the ball, removing most of the foam. Then you carefully cut two round holes in the ball, creating something that strangely resembles a Quik head. <<set $fakehead to true>><<set $ball to false>>\ [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

<<if $room == 'servicecorridor' || $room == 'storeroom' || $room == 'kitchen' || $room == 'quikroom' || $room == 'repairshop'>>\ CHUK: I shouldn't take off my disguise here. [[Return to inventory|inventory]] <<else>>\ You take off your disguise. <<set $fakeheadon to false>>\ [[Return to inventory|inventory]] <</if>>

<<if $room == 'easterncorridor'>>You quickly put on the fake Quik head. <<set $fakeheadon to true>>\ [[Return to inventory|inventory]] <<else>>\ CHUK: I don't want to put it on here. [[Return to inventory|inventory]] <</if>>\

Your shuttle docks to the Perfect Paradise. You get off and follow other passengers to the main lobby area. Dozens of creatures, of many shapes, colours and sizes, wander around the lobby or stand in small groups, chatting. Small blue-skinned aliens – about your size – with large heads, featureless save for round, hollow eyes, hurry to and fro among the visitors, carrying various equipment. Even though they're very quiet, you hear a guest complaining about "the nuisance those Quik cause". The centre of the lobby is occupied by a golden counter, staffed by a middle aged human male. He has a square chin and glossy black hair, combed back, and is wearing a purple and gold striped jacket, a black tie and a broad smile. A small badge identifies him as "Steve". As you look around the lobby, trying to figure out where to sign up for the tournament, Steve notices you and beckons you to come closer. STEVE: Welcome to the Perfect Paradise, my friend! I am Steve, the arena manager. Pardon me, but you seem a little lost. Can I help you? Did you come to watch the intense, thrilling battles of the Grand Galactic Fighting Tournament? Steve's voice is just as loud as you thought it must be. [[I'm no spectator! I'm a warrior, and I'm here to win your tournament!|introconfident]] [[I-I didn't come to watch. I may not look like an athlete, but… I came to participate.|introshy]]

STEVE: Done reading? Great. Sign here… here… and here. All right, Chuk, you're officially in! Congratulations and good luck! Steve grabs your hand and shakes it energetically. STEVE: You're fighting in the next match. There's no real hurry, we can wait until both you and Gaaarg are ready. So, use that time to prepare, and give a real show, all right? When you're ready, come to the arena vestibule – see that door behind the counter? – and I'll run you through final preparations. Now, do you have any questions? As a representative of M'zzur Enterprises I'll do anything to help. [[Yeah, one big question: Who's that Gaaarg person I'm going to fight?|intro11a]]

As you finish your question, Steve smiles and points at a huge, bipedal, reptilian creature. The green-grey alien is over two metres tall, has imposing crocodile jaws and a muscular tail. As he walks through the lobby with a rolling gait, people quickly move aside to let him pass. STEVE: That's Gaaarg. Amazing, isn't he? One of our strongest contenders for the title. Before you get a chance to reply, a crashing noise turns everyone's heads. Gaaarg walks straight into the red bars blocking one of the corridors. He bounces back, loses his balance and lands on the floor with a loud thud and a look of sheer surprise on his face. STEVE: As I said, he's great, only his eyesight isn't all that good. Gaaarg gets up and, after carefully looking around, finally exits through the other corridor. [[Continue|intro11a2]]

STEVE: You'd like to see His Majesty, huh? Can't say I blame you. Everyone would want that, so, to avoid unnecessary commotion, Chairperor M'zzur stays in his penthouse on the top deck for the time being. He watches live footage of the matches, though. After all, this tournament is his passion project! But don't worry, you'll get to see him during the grand closing ceremony. [[Back|intro11_2]]

STEVE: Can't say yet – it's a surprise! But a most wonderful surprise, I assure you, chosen by His Majesty himself. CHUK: Would it be something like… the Chairperor granting one wish to the winner, maybe? STEVE: Can't confirm, can't deny! Just wait and see – you're going to love it! [[Back|intro11_2]]

STEVE: You're welcome to visit any rooms on the main deck! Except for the service area, of course, but there isn't anything to see there anyway. Oh, and the area behind that barred exit is temporarily closed off – we're dealing with a small ventilation malfunction. Sorry about the inconvenience; we'll soon get everything fixed. [[Back|intro11_2]]

STEVE: This may sound a bit like I'm bragging, but I'm basically running the whole tournament, friend! Well, of course, I'm not His Majesty's official representative, that would be General Vox, but as the arena manager, I take care of the contestants, do the announcing, and, most importantly, make sure the audience are enjoying themselves! [[Back|intro11_2]]

STEVE: Oh, you like it? Sorry, but right now, the only places with a good view of it are the Chairperor's penthouse on the top deck and General Vox's private apartment, which are, of course, restricted areas. [[Back|intro11_2]]

STEVE: You're welcome, my friend! [[Continue|mainlobby]]

[[Can you give me some hints on how to take on Gaaarg?|gaaarghintsintro]] [[Is the Chairperor onboard the ship?|intro11b]] [[What's the big prize you mentioned?|intro11c]] [[Can I go anywhere on the ship?|intro11d]] [[What exactly is your job here?|intro11e]] [[Where can I get a good view at that moon towed by the ship?|intro11g]] [[That's all for now. Thanks for getting me in the tournament!|endintro]]

<<if $act == 1>><<if $girlmet>><<else>><<set $girlmet to true>><</if>>\ <<if $talktogirlagain>>\ GIRL: Hello and we- oh, it's you again. What was I… right. Thank you for your interest! Please visit the Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop! [[Where exactly is the shop?|whereshop2]] [[Thanks! I'll be going now.|mainlobby]] <<else>><<set$talktogirlagain to true>>\ The girl smiles as you approach and a glimpse of hope appears in her eyes. It seems like she's been standing here for a long, long time, ignored by all the guests. GIRL: Hello and welcome, prospective customer! I am a marketing contractor for the Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop, which has just opened here, aboard the Perfect Paradise! Looking for an exotic animal to amaze other guests? Or a cute pet for your children? Or maybe you need food and accessories for your animal friend? Look no further! The Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop has everything you need. Just place an order at our booth and we'll deliver it instantly using highly advanced scientific technology! The girl ends her speech short of breath. She hands you a promotional leaflet and a foam ball from the basket. Item received: Pet Shop leaflet Item received: Blue foam ball <<set $ball to true>><<set $leaflet to true>>\ [[Wow, that's amazing! Scientific technology? That's my favourite kind! How exactly does it work?|technology]] [[Where exactly is the shop?|whereshop]] [[Thanks! I'll be going now.|mainlobby]] <</if>>\ <<elseif $act > 1>>\ GIRL: Hello and we- oh, it's you again. What was I… right. Thank you for your interest! Please visit the Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop! [[Where exactly is the shop?|whereshop3]] [[Thanks! I'll be going now.|mainlobby]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

<<if $act == 1 && $enamet == false>><<set $enamet to true>>\ The strange lady bows her head slightly as you approach. Several new eyes appear on her face and inspect you carefully. ENA: Hello! I am lady Ena. Whom do I have the pleasure to address? CHUK: I'm Chuk. ENA: Nice to meet you, Mr. Chuk! I haven't seen you here before. I assume you've only just arrived, to watch the finals? Who will you cheer for in the upcoming match? CHUK: Um, I – I guess for myself. Lady Ena can't hide her surprise. She produces half a dozen new eyes and starts blinking rapidly. ENA: Oh dear… excuse me, but aren't you a bit… small for an athlete? Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't want to discourage you, or anything! If you got to the quarter-finals, you must be an excellent fighter, after all! Although I haven't seen any of your matches… [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about Gaaarg?|gaaarg]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 2 && $enamet == false>><<set $enamet to true>><<set $enatalkedto2 to true>>\ The strange lady bows her head slightly as you approach. Several new eyes appear on her face and inspect you with excitement. ENA: Hello! I am lady Ena. And you must be Mr. Chuk, the new star of the arena! CHUK: Well… yes, I'm Chuk. ENA: It's so wonderful to meet you, Mr. Chuk! I must say, I was really impressed with your fighting style! At first I thought that horrible Gaaarg was just going to squash you – oh, excuse me, I shouldn't say such things – but you completely outsmarted him! Well done! [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about Princess Ochra?|ochra]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 2 && $enatalkedto2 == false>><<set $enatalkedto2 to true>>\ Lady Ena waves at you excitedly. ENA: Mr. Chuk! What a wonderful match! I've seen everything! I must say, I was really impressed with your fighting style! At first I thought that horrible Gaaarg was just going to squash you – oh, excuse me, I shouldn't say such things – but you completely outsmarted him! Well done! [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about Princess Ochra?|ochra]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 3 && $enamet == false>><<set $enamet to true>><<set $enatalkedto3 to true>>\ The strange lady bows her head slightly as you approach. Several new eyes appear on her face and inspect you with excitement. ENA: Hello! I am lady Ena. And you must be Mr. Chuk, one of the tournament finalists! CHUK: Well… yes, I'm Chuk. ENA: It's so wonderful to meet you, Mr. Chuk! I must say, I was really impressed with your unique fighting style! I admit, I cheered for Princess Ochra at first, but when I've seen you face her – you were so small and yet so determined! I couldn't but hope you'd do well! [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about the Cybercricket?|cybercricket]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 3 && $enatalkedto3 == false>><<set $enatalkedto3 to true>>\ Lady Ena waves at you excitedly. ENA: Mr. Chuk! What an exciting match! I'm a little sad you eliminated Princess Ochra from the tournament, but on the other hand, I'm glad you have done so well! Tell me, are you really a magician? CHUK: I guess that depends on the kind of magic you believe in. ENA: Now, that's a mysterious answer! But I won't press you to reveal your secrets. [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about the Cybercricket?|cybercricket]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 1>>\ Lady Ena seems glad that you stopped to talk with her. ENA: Dear, I can't wait for the next match! The suspense is killing me! Now, did you want to chat about anything in particular? [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about Gaaarg?|gaaarg]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 2>>\ Lady Ena seems glad that you stopped to talk with her. ENA: Dear, I can't wait for the next match! The suspense is killing me! Now, did you want to chat about anything in particular? [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about Princess Ochra?|ochra]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 3>>\ Lady Ena seems glad that you stopped to talk with her. ENA: Dear, I can't wait for the final match! The suspense is killing me! Now, did you want to chat about anything in particular? [[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] [[Can you tell me anything about the Cybercricket?|cybercricket]] [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]] <<elseif $act == 4 && $enamet == false>>\ The many-eyed lady stares at you in amazement. She produces a handful of new eyes seems and to be absorbing your image. ENA: Oooh! You-you're Chuk the Grand Champion! It's such an honour to meet you! Allow me to introduce myself: I'm lady Ena, your faithful fan! Lady Ena goes into a long praise of your skills and fighting style, not letting you squeeze in even a single word. Her compliments make you blush, so you excuse yourself politely and walk away. [[Continue|mainlobby]] <<elseif $act == 4>>\ As soon as you approach, Lady Ena starts bombarding you with compliments. You've never seen her this excited before. ENA: Mr Chuk! To think, you're the Grand Champion! Oh, to think I'm now friends with the Grand Champion! It's such an honour! That last fight… I don't know how you did it, but you completely disarmed, disheartened and destroyed that terrible Cybercricket! Were those your race's secret powers in action? Lady Ena goes into a long praise of your skills and fighting style, not letting you squeeze in even a single word. Her compliments make you blush, so you excuse yourself politely and walk away. [[Continue|mainlobby]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\

Steve bends over the counter and smiles wider than usual when he recognizes you. STEVE: Well, if it isn't our soon-to-be champion! Can I help you, my friend? Any questions in need of an answer? <<if $act == 1>>[[Can you give me some hints on how to take on Gaaarg?|gaaarghints]] <<elseif $act == 2>>[[Can you give me some advice on how to fight Princess Ochra?|ochrahints]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[How can I defeat the Cybercricket?|crickethints]] <</if>>\ <<if $act == 3>>\ [[What is that Cybercricket guy anyway? A man? A machine? A mutant?|whatiscricket]] <<else>><</if>>\ <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Does the Cybercricket often destroy the fencing?|fencing]] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Is the Chairperor onboard the ship?|ischairperor]] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Will the Chairperor be watching the final match?|watchfinal]] <<else>><</if>>\ [[What's the big prize you mentioned?|whatprize]] [[Can I go anywhere on the ship?|canigo]] [[What exactly is your job here?|yourjob]] [[Where can I get a good view at that moon towed by the ship?|moon]] [[Tell me again, what should I do when I'm ready to fight?|howfight]] [[I'll be going now.|byesteve]]

<<if $needwatch>>You look at the Quik and one of them looks back. Then it approaches you shyly. QUIK: Quik sorry to ask… Quik need help, your help, maybe? Need electronic brain very much, tiny, tiny one. You find one, you give it to Quik, please very much? [[I don't have time for that.|watchnotime]] [[I'll see what I can do.|watchok]] <<elseif $needcape>>You look at the Quik and one of them looks back. Then it approaches you shyly. QUIK: Quik sorry to bother again, but need more help very much. Quik have a difficult problem: must have thin gold foil, very thin, real gold. Can you find some for Quik, please? CHUK: Foil made of real gold? That must be crazy expensive! QUIK: Quik know… but, maybe, you find it somewhere? [[Okay, if I do, I'll bring it to you.|capeok]] [[I can't promise anything. I most likely won't have time to look for gold foil.|capenotime]] <<elseif $needfuel>>You look at the Quik and one of them looks back. Then it approaches you shyly. QUIK: Welcome! Quik hear you Grand Champion now, very important, very powerful! Quik sorry to ask, but Quik need one more thing, maybe Grand Champion can help? If Quik not find this, things go bad, very bad! Please, Grand Champion, you bring Quik some rocket fuel? Little fuel, for little ship. Will look like silver box. Quik know it hard to get, but Quik also hear Big General has small ship in a secret hangar somewhere. You find it, you find fuel, too! [[Okay, I'll look for it.|fuelok]] [[I have more important things do to right now.|fuelnotime]] <<else>>From time to time a Quik appears running along a wall, carrying some tool or other: a bucket, a mop, a broom. The small aliens hardly make any noise and are careful not to get too close to any guests. They have blue skin, short limbs and large, round heads with no earholes, mouths or noses – only black, hollow eyes like empty holes. All are dressed in simple, plain brown clothing, not dissimilar to your own traveller's outfit. Nobody but you seems to pay any attention to the Quik – most guests are likely too tall to notice them. [[Back|mainlobby]] <</if>>

The portrait of Chairperor M'zzur, set in a golden frame, is hanging on the wall behind the counter. In the portrait M'zzur is wearing a golden robe, a white shirt, a black tie and a tall golden crown with converging points. His platinum hair is elaborately shaped in what resembles curved horns, and his face is very pale. He smiles faintly, but his dark eyes are joyless and watchful. You shudder, feeling as if he was observing you. Then you think he smirks just like a jerk who stole a moon and knows no one can make him pay. You feel the urge to prove him wrong. [[Back|mainlobby]]

<<if $startmatch1again>>You notice Steve, who somehow managed to get here before you.<<else>><<set $startmatch1again to true>>The vestibule is different than you expected. It looks of luxury, with soft carpets, red leather couches, a minibar and several giant TV screens. You notice Steve, who somehow managed to get here before you. The arena manager smiles at you. He seems more excited than usual.<</if>> STEVE: Just in time, my friend! I've just got a word from Bob. Looks like Gaaarg is all pumped and ready to fight. How about you? Having jitters? Can we start the match? [[I don't think I'm ready yet.|dontfight]] [[Yes, I'm ready.|fight1]]

<<set $room to 'easterncorridor'>>\ <center>Main deck eastern corridor</center> This wide corridor gently curves around the arena space, leading <<if $fakeheadon>>[[south-west to the main lobby|lobby take off head]]<<else>>[[south-west to the main lobby|mainlobby]]<</if>> and <<if $fakeheadon>>[[north|northtakeoffhead]]<<else>>[[north|northerncorridor]]<</if>>. Elegantly dressed aliens walk along its gilded walls. On the outward wall there is a door labelled <<if $fakeheadon>>"[[Library|librarytakeoffhead]]"<<else>>"[[Library|library]]"<</if>>. There's also a <<if $rexdefeated>>[[service area entrance|headnomore]]<<elseif $color == 'blue' && $fakeheadon && $disguiseused>>[[service area entrance|usedisguise]]<<elseif $color == 'blue' && $fakeheadon>>[[service area entrance|cheatrobot]]<<else>>[[service area entrance|noentry]]<</if>> here, blocked by a horizontal bar. Next to it a four-legged [[guard robot|securibot]] is keeping watch. On the opposite wall there is a large, open passage. A sign above it reads "[[Arena entrance for the audience|audiencearea]]". Near the passage you see a [[janitor|janitor]] in red overalls. <<if $meetgreen == false && $boxtaken == true && $act > 2>>\ There's also a [[green, gelatinous alien|greenalien]] with lots of spindly limbs here, sitting on a bench. <<elseif $meetgreen == false && $act > 2>>\ There's also a [[green, gelatinous alien|greenalien]] with lots of spindly limbs here, sitting on a bench. Next to the alien there's a blue icebox. <</if>>\ <<if $meetgreen>><<set $meetgreen to false>>\ You notice an [[alien|greenalien]] you haven't seen here before. It looks like a green, gelatinous cylinder with a large mouth in the middle, three pairs of tiny black eyes and lots of spindly limbs.<</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

You approach the exit leading north-west from the lobby. It's blocked; through solid metal bars you see a dimly-lit, curved corridor. The air in the corridor is hazy and the airflow coming from there is hot, humid and smells of machine oil. A sign attached to the red metal bars reads: Closed for maintenance. We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. [[Step back|mainlobby]]

STEVE: Sorry to say that, my friend, but I must be impartial. It wouldn't be fair if I helped one of the contestants. [[But he's three times my size! How is THAT fair?|hesbig]] [[All right, forget it.|talktosteve]]

STEVE: You're welcome to visit any rooms on the main deck! Except for the service area, of course, but there isn't anything to see there anyway. <<if $act ==1>>Oh, and the area behind that barred exit is temporarily closed off – we're dealing with a small ventilation malfunction. Sorry about the inconvenience; we'll soon get everything fixed. <</if>> [[Back|talktosteve]]

STEVE: You're ready, that's what you're trying to say? No? Maybe? Well, when you are, come and see me in the arena vestibule. It's really that simple! [[Back|talktosteve]]

STEVE: Take care! Don't get hurt anywhere but in the arena! [[Continue|mainlobby]]

STEVE: You've got a point there… He's big even for a Torrarian. But, unfortunately, I can't help you out. I don't know Gaaarg's secret weakness, if he has any. Just… try to avoid his attacks and hope for the best, okay? [[Back|talktosteve]]

The girl is looking a little ashamed. GIRL: Umm, I'm really sorry… I don't know. They just told me to say all that, smile and give away balls and leaflets. But I've seen it work, and it's cool! Pets just pop out of thin air like that! [[Where exactly is the shop?|whereshop]] [[Thanks! I'll be going now.|mainlobby]]

The girl is looking a bit embarrassed. GIRL: Um, sorry… there's a little problem with that. The booth – it's in that corridor behind the red bars… You can't get to the shop since they closed it off. Um, but please do visit when they open that area again! [[You said something about scientific technology? That's my favourite kind! How exactly does it work?|technology]] [[Thanks! I'll be going now.|mainlobby]]

ENA: It's very well organized, I have to admit. I love the Perfect Paradise – so stylish and elegant! It's very generous of the Chairperor to invite us all to his private cruiser – I would never have expected that, and yet he did! Now that I think about it, it's actually quite surprising His Majesty organised such tournament in the first place. I always thought he didn't like warriors at all! [[Back|enaquestions]]

<<if $act < 3>>\ ENA: I love all of them! Honestly, every competitor is so strong and skilled… or, at the very least, brave – one has to be to enter the arena. I'm trying not to pick any favourites because I know I would be heartbroken if they lost… but I must say I quite like Princess Ochra. She's a high-born lady and yet she can fight, and win! [[Back|enaquestions]] <<else>>\ ENA: Well, there are only two athletes still participating in the tournament, and of those two, you are my favourite, without a shade of doubt! [[Back|enaquestions]] <</if>>\

ENA: The Torarrian warrior? He scares me. He looks like a wild beast! I suppose that's just his image, but it's a bit too convincing for me. And he doesn't care one bit about others. Only yesterday I saw him walk straight into a janitor! The poor man fell down and Gaaarg just stepped over him. Horribly insensitive, wasn't it? [[Back|enaquestions]]

[[What do you think about the tournament in general?|tournament]] [[Who is your favourite athlete so far?|athletes]] <<if $act == 1>>[[Can you tell me anything about Gaaarg?|gaaarg]] <<elseif $act == 2>>[[Can you tell me anything about Princess Ochra?|ochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[Can you tell me anything about the Cybercricket?|cybercricket]] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Thanks for the chat. I'll be going now.|byeena]]

ENA: See you later, Mr. Chuk! [[Continue|mainlobby]]

<<if $color == 'blue' && $fakeheadon>> SECURIBOT: What are you staring at, dirty little slacker? Get back to work! [[Back|easterncorridor]] <<else>>\ <<if $talktorobotagain>>\ SECURIBOT: Welcome, sir or madam! Have a safe stay on the Perfect Paradise! [[Back|easterncorridor]] <<else>><<set $talktorobotagain to true>>\ The guard robot stands over two metres tall and is painted matte black with subtle gold accents. A shield-shaped badge on its torso reads: M'ZZUR ENTERPRISES SECURIBOT 7000. It has four stout legs and covers on its sides which, you suspect, are hiding some weaponry. The robot addresses you politely with a booming voice. SECURIBOT: Welcome, sir or madam! I am Securibot 7000, property and intellectual property of M'zzur Enterprises! I am here to guarantee you a safe stay on the Perfect Paradise! I am not programmed for advanced conversation, so if you have questions, please ask them at the counter in the main lobby! [[Back|easterncorridor]] <</if>> <</if>>

<<if $janitortalkedtoagain>>\ The janitor is dozing off, supporting himself on his broom. CHUK: Say again, who are you? JANITOR: A janitor. [[You're not very talkative, are you?|nottalkative]] [[A janitor? Aren't Quik doing all the cleaning and stuff?|whyjanitor]] <<if $act == 1>>\ [[Nice overalls. I dig the colour.|niceoveralls]] <</if>>\ [[What are you doing here?|janitorsjob]] [[It's been swell talking to you, but I must get going. See ya!|easterncorridor]] <<else>><<set $janitortalkedtoagain to true>>\ The janitor is a thin human whose pale skin stands in jarring contrast with his red overalls. He glances at you with no interest and goes back to dozing off. CHUK: Hi! I'm Chuk! Who are you? JANITOR: A janitor. [[You're not very talkative, are you?|nottalkative]] [[A janitor? Aren't Quik doing all the cleaning and stuff?|whyjanitor]] <<if $act == 1>>\ [[Nice overalls. I dig the colour.|niceoveralls]] <</if>>\ [[What are you doing here?|janitorsjob]] [[It's been swell talking to you, but I must get going. See ya!|easterncorridor]] <</if>>

<<set $room to 'library'>>\ <center>Library</center> The library on the Perfect Paradise is a spacious two storey room with oaken panelling. On the bookshelves along the walls you see thousands of [[books|pickbook]]. <<if $librariantalkedto>>On the lower floor the insectoid <<if $color == 'grey'>>[[librarian|greylibrarian]]<<elseif $color == 'red'>>[[librarian|redlibrarian]]<<elseif $color == 'blue'>>[[librarian|bluelibrarian]]<<else>>[[librarian|greenlibrarian]]<</if>> sits behind the desk.<<else>>On the lower floor, near the entrance, a tall, insectoid <<if $color == 'grey'>>[[librarian|greylibrarian]]<<elseif $color == 'red'>>[[librarian|redlibrarian]]<<elseif $color == 'blue'>>[[librarian|bluelibrarian]]<<else>>[[librarian|greenlibrarian]]<</if>> sits behind the desk.<</if>>\ <<if $scissorstaken>>\<<else>> The librarian is using large silver [[scissors|lookscissors]] to cut <<if $paperquest == true && $cardpicked == false>>[[label cards|looklabels]]<<else>>label cards<</if>> out of thin paper. <</if>> <<if $deathstalkedto>>\ In a corner of the room [[THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT|talkdeaths]] is reading a book. <<else>>\ In a corner of the room a huge, shiny, black [[robot|talkdeaths]] stands, reading a book. <</if>>\ There's only one [[door|easterncorridor]] here, leading back to the corridor. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $room to 'conservatory'>>\ <center>Conservatory</center> <<if $act == 3 && $madamemetinc == false>><<set $madamemetinc to true>>\ As you enter the conservatory you immediately notice Madame Golgadul's huge frame. The fortune teller is absorbed in a friendly chat with the painter. <</if>>\ This huge room is filled with lush [[greenery|lookgreenery]], arranged so that it resembles a natural, wild forest. An artificial [[waterfall]] whispers in the corner. Near the entrance a [[bush with thick, reddish leaves|plant]] resides in a separate planter. <<if $act == 3 && $madamemetinc>>\ [[Madame Golgadul and the painter|madameandpainter]] are standing among the greenery, absorbed in a friendly chat.<<else>>\ Among the trees, a [[human woman is standing behind an easel|talkpainter]], busy painting.<</if>> There is only one [[door|westerncorridor]] here, leading back to the corridor. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

Wearing your disguise, you slip under the metal bar without grabbing the Securibot's attention. [[Continue|servicecorridor]]

<<set $disguiseused to true>>\ Wearing your disguise, you head towards the service corridor. You notice a really tiny Quik trotting towards the metal bar, a bucket full of water on its head. You run after it, attempting to hide yourself from the sight of the guard robot behind the bucket, but you're too slow. SECURIBOT: You there! Yes, you, without the bucket! Move it! M'zzur Enterprises is not paying you for staring at its security robots, you worthless little piece of trash! In fact, M'zzur Enterprises is not paying you, period, but that's only because you're not worthy of a paycheck! Get back to work! You hurry after the Quik with the bucket, under the metal barrier and out of the robot's sight. [[Continue|servicecorridor]]

<<if $fakeheadon>> The guard robot seems to ignore you as you approach the barrier; then, in the last moment, it blocks your way. SECURIBOT: My sincere apologies, sir or madam! For a moment there, I thought you were a Quik! I am terribly sorry, but guests are not allowed in the service area for safety reasons. I have to ask you to turn back. Please, enjoy your safe stay in the opulent facilities of the Perfect Paradise. [[Back|easterncorridor]] <<elseif $color == 'blue'>> The guard robot seems to ignore you as you approach the barrier; then, in the last moment, it blocks your way. SECURIBOT: My sincere apologies, sir or madam! You're short and blue, so I thought you were a Quik – but then I noticed you actually have a FACE! I am terribly sorry, but guests are not allowed in the service area for safety reasons. I have to ask you to turn back. Please, enjoy your safe stay in the opulent facilities of the Perfect Paradise. [[Back|easterncorridor]] <<else>> As you approach the service corridor, the guard robot blocks your way. SECURIBOT: I am terribly sorry, sir or madam, but guests are not allowed in the service area for safety reasons. I have to ask you to turn back. Please, enjoy your safe stay in the opulent facilities of the Perfect Paradise. A Quik runs by and passes under the barrier. The robot ignores it. [[Back|easterncorridor]] <</if>>

<<set $room to 'servicecorridor'>>\ <center>Service corridor</center> You are in a dimly-lit corridor with bare metal walls and pipes running under the ceiling. The west end of the corridor connects to the [[guest area|easterncorridor]]. In the south end there are four doors, leading to the <<if $act == 2 && $kitchenagain == false>>[[kitchen|kitchenintro]]<<else>>[[kitchen|kitchen]]<</if>>, the [[storeroom|storeroom]], the <<if $act == 1>>[[repair shop|repairshopclosed]]<<else>>[[repair shop|repairshop]]<</if>> and the [[Quik quarters|quikroom]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

JANITOR: Guess not. [[Back|askjanitor]]

<<if $color == 'blue' && $fakeheadon>>JANITOR: Yeah, you're doing a good job. But you can't reach everywhere. <<else>>JANITOR: They're small. Can't reach everywhere.<</if>> [[Back|askjanitor]]

<<set $askcleaning to true>>\ JANITOR: Waiting. CHUK: Waiting for what? JANITOR: For when they tell me to clean the arena. CHUK: When do they tell you to clean the arena? JANITOR: Before each match. [[Back|askjanitor]]

[[You're not very talkative, are you?|nottalkative]] [[A janitor? Aren't Quik doing all the cleaning and stuff?|whyjanitor]] <<if $act == 1>>\ [[Nice overalls. I dig the colour.|niceoveralls]] <</if>>\ [[What are you doing here?|janitorsjob]] [[It's been swell talking to you, but I must get going. See ya!|easterncorridor]]

<<if $librariantalkedto>><<else>>The librarian is a tall, slender creature. She has giant, multi-faceted eyes and a slender body with many pairs of arms. <</if>>\ <<set $librariantalkedto to true>>\ You stand in front of the librarian and wave to catch her attention. She moves her head slightly to look at you, but she seems to barely notice you. [[What's the matter? You look… absent.|grey1]] [[Can you recommend me some books to read?|grey2]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowgrey]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaarggrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochragrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketgrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesgrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|cyoagrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsgrey]] <</if>>\ [[Nevermind.|library]]

<<if $librariantalkedto>><<else>>The librarian is a tall, slender creature. She has giant, multi-faceted eyes and a slender body with many pairs of arms. <</if>>\ <<set $librariantalkedto to true>>\ You stand in front of the librarian and wave to catch her attention. She looks at you and suddenly her eyes start to glow with anger. Her thin arms tremble, as if she wanted to hit someone (probably you) and only restrained herself with immense willpower. [[Whoa, take it easy! Did I do something to anger you?|red1]] [[Can you recommend me some books to read?|red2]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowred]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaargred]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochrared]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketred]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesred]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|cyoared]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsred]] <</if>>\ [[Nevermind.|library]]

<<if $librariantalkedto>><<else>>The librarian is a tall, slender creature. She has giant, multi-faceted eyes and a slender body with many pairs of arms. <</if>>\ <<set $librariantalkedto to true>>\ You stand in front of the librarian and wave to catch her attention. She looks at you and sighs deeply. Then she lowers her head. [[What's the matter? Why are you so sad?|blue1]] [[Can you recommend me some books to read?|blue2]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowblue]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaargblue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochrablue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketblue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesblue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|cyoablue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsblue]] <</if>>\ [[Nevermind.|library]]

<<if $librariantalkedto>><<else>>The librarian is a tall, slender creature. She has giant, multi-faceted eyes and a slender body with many pairs of arms. <</if>>\ <<set $librariantalkedto to true>>\ You stand in front of the librarian and wave to catch her attention. She looks at you and a calm, bright gleam appears in her eyes. LIBRARIAN: Hello, how can I help you? [[Can you recommend me some books to read?|recommendbooks]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowscissors]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaargbook]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochragreen]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketgreen]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesgreen]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|dictionaries]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsgreen]] <</if>>\ [[Thanks for your help! I'll be going now.|library]]

LIBRARIAN: Eh? Did somebody just speak? [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: What? Books? Oh, right, I should get back to labelling those books… [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: Cutting these labels is so boring. I wish I had something else to do. [[Back|greyask]]

[[What's the matter? You look… absent.|grey1]] [[Can you recommend me some books to read?|grey2]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowgrey]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaarggrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochragrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketgrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesgrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|cyoagrey]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsgrey]] <</if>>\ [[Nevermind.|library]]

LIBRARIAN: Huh? I think I've just heard some noise. A long, sentence-like noise. Strange… [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: HOW DARE YOU ASK SUCH QUESTIONS! JUST LOOKING AT YOU IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME ANGRY! [[Back|redask]]

LIBRARIAN: STOP TALKING SO LOUDLY OR I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON! MIND YOUR MANNERS! YOU'RE IN A LIBRARY, YOU PUNK! [[Back|redask]]

LIBRARIAN: NO! AND DON'T ASK AGAIN, OR I'LL STAB YOU WITH THEM! [[Back|redask]]

LIBRARIAN: DON'T MENTION THAT PHILISTINE! HE CAME HERE ONCE AND SPILLED A DRINK ON A BOOK! IF I EVER SEE HIM AGAIN, I'LL PUNCH HIM IN THAT UGLY FACE! [[Back|redask]]

[[What did I do to make you so angry?|red1]] [[Can you recommend me some books to read?|red2]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowred]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaargred]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochrared]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketred]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesred]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|cyoared]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsred]] <</if>>\ [[Nevermind.|library]]

LIBRARIAN: (clears her throat) Strange, I feel like coughing… [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: NO DICTIONARY CAN HELP AN UNCULTURED PUNK LIKE YOU! GET LOST! [[Back|redask]]

The librarian starts sobbing quietly. [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: Books! What good are books? Alas, they're just words without power to change our sad lives for the better! [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: No, you can't. I have to cut these labels (sob). It's so repetitive, it makes me depressed. Besides, if I gave you the scissors, you'd only hurt yourself with them. [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: Don't even mention that brute! It makes me unbelievably sad when such ignorant piles of muscle earn so much respect! Where is this world going to, oh, where? Soon we'll all forget how to read! And I can do nothing about that! (sob) [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: Oh, the sadness I feel when I think about dictionaries, this failed attempt at bridging the gap between the people of the galaxy, a gap impossible to bridge! We shall never understand each other! [[Back|blueask]]

[[Why are you so sad?|blue1]] [[Can you recommend me some books to read?|blue2]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowblue]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaargblue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochrablue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketblue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesblue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|cyoablue]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsblue]] <</if>>\ [[Nevermind.|library]]

<<set $askedforrecommendations to true>>\ LIBRARIAN: If you want a book on a particular topic, I can help you find one. Otherwise, I suggest you look through our catalogue. There are over 40,000 books in our library; I'm certain you'll find something interesting to read. [[Back|greenask]]

<<set $scissors to true>><<set $scissorstaken to true>>\ LIBRARIAN: I'm afraid I can't… although… on second thought… You know what? I've already cut so many labels they'll last me for weeks, and I'm growing rather bored of it. Oh, I shouldn't say that; I really love my job, even if it's a bit repetitive sometimes. All right, you can borrow the scissors. Just be careful! They're very sharp! Item received: Scissors [[Back|greenask]]

LIBRARIAN: I know who you're talking about! As far as I know, Gaaarg is a Torrarian; a fascinating, primitive culture. I'm afraid we don't have any books dedicated entirely to Torrarians, but you should check Gallord's. It's the definitive guide to the races of the Galaxy. [[Back|greenask]]

LIBRARIAN: Let me see… no dictionaries, but we have The Encyclopaedia of Xlx – bookcase 16A, shelf 2. Maybe that will help? <<set $dictionary to true>>\ [[Back|greenask]]

[[Can you recommend me some books to read?|recommendbooks]] <<if $scissorstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Can I borrow your scissors?|borrowscissors]] <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 1>> [[Do you have any books about Gaaarg's race? You know, Gaaarg, the big, reptilian fighter?|gaaargbook]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $maintenancemanscared == false && $toaddeployed>> [[Do you have any books on reptiles and amphibians?|reptilesgreen]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 2>> [[Do you have any books about the race of Princess Ochra, the four-armed fighter?|ochragreen]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations && $act == 3>> [[Do you have any books on insects? Crickets, in particular?|cricketgreen]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cyoaread && $askedforrecommendations>> [[I found that funny book that's, like, also a game, but there are many Xlxian words in it I don't understand. Do you have any Xlxian dictionaries?|dictionaries]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $askedforrecommendations == true && $weakinsult == true && $handbooktaken == false>> [[Do you have any dictionaries of insults?|insultsgreen]] <</if>>\ [[Thanks for your help! I'll be going now.|library]]

<<set $room to 'kitchen'>>\ <center>Kitchen</center> <<if $act == 1>>\ As you walk into the kitchen, a tall, multi-armed robot wearing a chef's hat turns to look at you. What are you doing here?', it exclaims in a bizarre accent. 'My kitchen doesn't need cleaning now; I'm in the middle of preparing a new, astounding dish! Get lost, you dirty little rascal!'. The robot is looking really angry, so you quickly escape back to the corridor. [[Continue|servicecorridor]] <<else>>\ <<if $soupdone && $leekspicked>>\ The kitchen is very quiet without the Chef-bot. The [[large pot|largepot]] is sitting on the worktop, abandoned. Near the edge of the worktop you notice a pile of [[wilted carrots|carrots]]. <<elseif $soupdone>>\ The kitchen is very quiet without the Chef-bot. The [[large pot|largepot]] is sitting on the worktop, abandoned. Near the edge of the worktop you notice four [[large leeks|lookleeks]] and a pile of [[wilted carrots|carrots]]. <<else>>\ The kitchen is a hub of frantic activity. The [[Chef-bot|talkchefbot]] is dancing around the worktop, chopping huge piles of vegetables and adding them to a [[large pot|largepot]]. [[Another pot|smallpot]], smaller, is heating on a stove in the corner. Near the edge of the worktop you notice four [[large leeks|lookleeks]] and a pile of [[wilted carrots|carrots]]. <</if>>\ The only door leads back to the [[service corridor|servicecorridor]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>> <</if>>

<<set $room to 'storeroom'>>\ <center>Storeroom</center> You are in a tiny storeroom, cluttered with cleaning utensils.<<if $overallstaken>><<else>> A pair of small-sized [[janitor's overalls|lookoveralls]] is hanging on a peg on the wall.<</if>> There is a [[bucket and some dirty mops|checkmops]] in the corner of the room. The only door leads back to the [[service corridor|servicecorridor]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $room to 'repairshop'>>\ <center>Repair shop</center> <<if $repairshopagain>>\ The repair shop is small, cramped and messy. <<if $swordsswapped>>There's an empty workbench here. <<else>>There's a workbench here, on which [[four sheathed swords|examineswords]] are lying. <</if>>\ <<else>><<set $repairshopagain to true>>\ The door to the repair shop is no longer locked. You enter and are greeted by a terrible mess: tools and parts are scattered around, dirty rags are lying on the floor, and there are heaps of sawdust here and there. There is a workbench here, on which [[four sheathed swords|examineswords]] and a leather harness are lying. You immediately recognise Princess Ochra's weapons. <</if>>\ The only door leads back to the [[service corridor|servicecorridor]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $room to 'quikroom'>>\ <center>Quik quarters</center> The Quik quarters are located in a dusty boiler room. Small hammocks, currently unoccupied, hang between tall boilers and from thick pipes. In the centre of the room a [[bunch of Quik are standing in an old, rusty bathtub|bathtub]]. [[Another Quik|mainquik]] is busy at a small workbench near the [[door|servicecorridor]] to the service corridor. <<if $quikroomsagain>>\ <<else>><<set $quikroomsagain to true>>\ The Quik are visibly disturbed by your entrance. It looks like your disguise didn't fool them. They stare at you nervously and quietly whisper among themselves. <</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $deathstalkedto to true>>\ <<if $deathstalkedtoagain>>\ THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT puts down its book. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: It's you again, my little organic friend! What's the matter? [[You have a weird name.|weirdname]] [[So, how's the tournament going for you?|howitsgoing]] [[What are you doing here?|deathswhat]] <<if $act == 1>> [[Can you tell me anything about Gaaarg?|deathsgaaarg]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $act == 2>> [[Can you tell me anything about Princess Ochra?|deathsochra]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $act == 3>> [[Did you happen to read any books on crickets recently?|deathscrickets]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Can you recommend me any books?|deathsbooks]] [[I'll be going. See ya!|library]] <<else>> <<set $deathstalkedtoagain to true>>\ The robot has a square head with evil-looking red eyes, long, flexible arms and tank tracks in place of legs. A big gun is mounted on its back. As you come closer, it jumps, startled, and puts down its book. ROBOT: Sorry, didn't hear you coming! Welcome, organic lifeform! I don't think we've met before. I'm THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT, an independent artificial intelligence, an explorer of new vocabulary, and a proud tournament fighter! [[You have a weird name.|weirdname]] [[How is the tournament going for you?|howitsgoing]] [[What are you doing here?|deathswhat]] <<if$act == 1>> [[Can you tell me anything about Gaaarg?|deathsgaaarg]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $act == 2>> [[Can you tell me anything about Princess Ochra?|deathsochra]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $act == 3>> [[Did you happen to read any books on crickets recently?|deathscrickets]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Can you recommend me any books?|deathsbooks]] [[I'll be going. See ya!|library]] <</if>>\

<<set $inventingwords to true>>\ THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Well, it sure is unique! I coined it myself, based on a list of over 100,000 names of various warriors and gladiators! It represents the ultimate fighter's name and I bear it with pride! [[Can you invent a nickname for me, too?|nickname]] [[Back|deathsquestions]]

<<set $deathsweakness to true>>\ THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Umm… err… It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I was eliminated in my first fight. I went to the arena full of hope and overflowing with power, and completely forgot about my integrated limiter algorithm, which prevents me from hurting any sentient creature. As a result, I was soundly beaten by a monkey-man wielding a pair of sticks. But I don't despair! I've only lost because my opponent had an unfair advantage, and I feel like I'm the moral victor here. [[Back|deathsquestions]]

<<set $inventingwords to true>>\ THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: I'm checking some literature to improve my vocabulary. Man, this cookbook is really fascinating! CHUK: Why do you want to improve your vocabulary? THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: If I can't fight, maybe I'll make a career inventing amazing nicknames for other fighters! Most people in the tournament have really dull names. Hey, what do you think about "Death Tart"? Packs a punch, doesn't it? [[Back|deathsquestions]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: I sure can! There's tons of fascinating stuff here! I've only just finished a book on poisonous animals – great read, some of them would make excellent gladiator names! I also tried to read a funny little book about adventures on Xlx, but I couldn't make any sense of it. The story was all over the place and I think the pages were not even in order! [[Back|deathsquestions]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: But of course! Just give me a sec – PROCESSING… There you go: The Frighter Death Dread Dead Bonez Night Monk Ey The Crickonator Broody Worrior Prince The Fartuitous The Ultraviolent Wrestly Champ Bob THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: You have my permission to use any of these fine pseudonyms! CHUK: On second thought, I think I'll stick with my own name. [[Back|deathsquestions]]

[[You have a weird name.|weirdname]] [[How is the tournament going for you?|howitsgoing]] [[What are you doing here?|deathswhat]] <<if$act == 1>> [[Can you tell me anything about Gaaarg?|deathsgaaarg]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $act == 2>> [[Can you tell me anything about Princess Ochra?|deathsochra]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $act == 3>> [[Did you happen to read any books on crickets recently?|deathscrickets]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Can you recommend me any books?|deathsbooks]] [[I'll be going. See ya!|library]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: About what? Sorry, doesn't ring a bell. But I'll add that to my wordlist! [[Back|deathsquestions]]

<<if $pickbookagain>>\ Choose a book to read: [[Gallord's Guide to the Aliens of the Galaxy|gallords]] [[Planets of the Galaxy. Pocket Guide, 3rd Edition|planetsbook]] [[His Majesty Chairperor M'zzur. A Study of His Life and Influence|mzzurbook]] [[Tlazl of Danger! A Xlxian Adventure|cyoabook]] [[Poisonous Animals and Where to Find Them|poison]] <<if $dictionary>> [[The Encyclopaedia of Xlx|Xlx]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Back|library]] <<else>>\ <<set $pickbookagain to true>>\ The book catalogue is so immense it would take hours to just look through it, so you simply check what the recently read titles are and decide to stick to those for the time being. If you ever need to find a book on a particular topic, you can ask the librarian. [[Gallord's Guide to the Aliens of the Galaxy|gallords]] [[His Majesty Chairperor M'zzur. A study of His Life and Influence|mzzurbook]] [[Tlazl of Danger! A Xlxian Adventure|cyoabook]] [[Poisonous Animals and Where to Find Them|poison]] <<if $dictionary>> [[The Encyclopaedia of Xlx|Xlx]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Back|library]] <</if>>\

Gallord's Guide to the Aliens of the Galaxy Published by M'zzur Press The definitive compendium of knowledge on the races of the galaxy, their habits and cultures. Index [[Chelac]] [[Obobian]] [[Quik]] [[Torrarian]] [[Zizzian]] [[Xlx|xlxgallords]] [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

You start reading the book and quickly realise it's nothing more than a long, fawning, excruciatingly boring paean to the Chairperor. You close the book with disgust. [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<set $cyoaread to true>>\ Tlazl of Danger! A Xlxian Adventure published by the Xlxian Board of Tourism <<if $cyoaagain>>\ <<else>>This thin book looks like some kind of interactive text. It is written in short paragraphs, each followed by a number of possible options which point to different pages. It seems like you're required to make decisions while reading. <<set $cyoaagain to true>>\ <</if>>\ You start on page 1. 1. Welcome to the Tlazl of Danger! What you're holding in your hands is by no means an ordinary book. This text is an INTERACTIVE GAME where YOU ARE THE HERO! You'll have to brave the dangers of the forgotten tlazl, make the right decisions and overcome difficult challenges to see the ending! What's more, the Tlazl of Danger is based on AUTHENTIC FACTS about Xlxian flora, fauna, geology and culture, which makes it not only EXCITING, but also EDUCATIONAL! Happy adventuring! [[Now turn to page 2|page2]] [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

This books contains photos and descriptions of various poisonous creatures. One page catches your attention; it shows a picture of a striped, green and yellow toad with short, pointed horns. "Rokkian Hissing Toad", the description reads. "These toads are known for the loud hissing noise they make when about to attack. They can spit a deadly toxic liquid at a distance of 3 meters or more." [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<set $xlxread to true>>\ The Encyclopaedia of Xlx published by the National Cultural Institute of Xlx This bulky book is comprised of definitions of numerous Xlxian words. bllc – the one which bllcyxx bllcyxx – to do what a bllc do cexla – ancient and known to every Xlxian glwx – one-tenth of a pwolx hnyxl – common pastime of the Xlx, in which nyx are used korxl – also known as the Xlxian Mastiff nyx – used in hnyxl Pnoxl – known from many cexla because of how he tzylxx others poxorl – contacted by means of wyxx pwolx – ten glwx tlazl – very common on Xlx tzylxx – to follow the ways of Pnoxl unx – "the one which unxyxx"; encountered in some tlazl unxyxx – to act like an unx; to show unx-like qualities uxxla – necessary in a tlazl wyxx – to call to poxorl Xlxian Mastiff – the name alien races give to the korxl yglaz – a zwrx that always appears in olwr olwr – e.g. of yglaz zwrx – e.g. an yglaz, unx or korxl mwwn – a simple tool, common on Xlx [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

Chelac are born warriors. Hailing from a resource-rich planet, Sien IV, they have conquered two other inhabited worlds in their planetary system. Bellicose and unscrupulous, Chelac developed some impressive technology, albeit almost exclusively of the military kind. Their brutal expansion and conquest were stopped by His Majesty Chairperor M'zzur, who defeated the Chelac fleet in the battle of Sien I. The forgiving Chairperor chose not to completely annihilate the warrior race; instead, Chelac were forced to accept certain conditions that guaranteed they would no longer pose a threat to galactic peace and order. A decade has passed since Sien I and the Chelac adapt well to co-existing with other species; indeed, many more peaceful Chelac, who earlier were oppressed by their aggressive compatriots, now hold important positions in different galactic organizations. Chelac are tall, muscular humanoids with four arms they traditionally used to wield multiple weapons in combat. Their skin colour ranges from light brown through earthy yellow to dark orange. They have human-like heads, but with a row of sharp, keratin spikes on each cheek. Their hair is black and glossy. Chelac culture lacks sophistications, but many of their songs and poems are known outside their homeworld; they employ vivid, often brutal imagery and have a strong rhythm which does not always translate to other languages. Most Chelac texts are about making war, duelling or feasting, but there are also many that describe various supernatural forces and omens which Chelac, being superstitious, take very seriously. [[Back to the index|gallords]]

<<set $firestory to true>>\ Considered virtually extinct, Obobians are the only sentient race of the volcanic planet Obo. These massive mineral-based creatures have six powerful legs and a cylindrical torso. Their slender necks support large and very flat heads. Obobians are built of living crystals of many different hues, and are sometimes used by other races as a raw material for jewellery-making. The increasing volcanic activity of Obo eventually rendered the planet uninhabitable even for the Obobians. No live Obobians remain on their homeworld; several specimens were extracted by various expeditions and are now on display (three of them at the Chaiperor's Royal Galactic Museum). Upon leaving Obo, these Obobians' life signs stopped and most scientists agree that the specimens are dead (some argue they are merely hibernating but, despite numerous tries, those scientists were unable to revive them). Only one surviving Obobian text is known: the legend of the goddess Oamameo. This charmingly naive story is worth quoting, as it shows common sentiments Obobians share with many other undeveloped races, despite being a very different lifeform, both chemically and biologically: Oamameo was a powerful and beautiful goddess. She loved the Obobians and wanted to live among them. But Oamameo's power was too strong and too wild. Whenever she walked among the Obobians, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and lava bursts followed. Thousands of Obobians perished in the cataclysms, and Oamameo finally understood that she could not be with them. Broken-hearted, she sealed herself underground and there she rests, crying tears of hot lava every day and every night. Sometimes her longing for the company of Obobians is so strong she forgets about her destructive powers and comes almost to the surface. But each time a noraral (a small, burrowing animal) appears, bringing her news of terrible quakes and eruptions starting everywhere. Saddened, Oamameo returns deeper underground. Somewhat ironically, the Obobians indeed were eventually destroyed by volcanoes and seismic activity, so either Oamameo's love finally wore out, or (as the author of this compendium is more inclined to believe) the goddess never existed in the first place. [[Back to the index|gallords]]

Small and barely qualifying as intelligent lifeforms, Quik inhabit the barren, rocky planet Quu, which orbits a red giant. Quik are physically weak, with frail bodies and disproportionally large heads. Their faces are featureless, save for a pair of large, hollow eyes. As they have no mouth, they rely on absorbing nutrients in liquid form through the skin on their palms and soles. For thousands of years Quik lived in a primitive, clan-based society which did not develop economically or technologically. Only a decade ago a new ray of hope appeared for the species, as M'zzur Enterprises decided to take them under their wing. The Chairperor's company generously provided hundreds of thousands of Quik with jobs and basic education, matched to their limited capabilities. Thanks to this charitable gesture, the people of Quu now form a part of the pangalactic community. [[Back to the index|gallords]]

Torrarians are warm-blooded, bipedal, predatory reptiles from a remote world called Tyrx. Several sentient species inhabit Tyrx and Torrarians are not the dominant one; the physically weak, but technologically advanced Tyzians have established their rule over the other races and use Torrarians as soldiers, bodyguards and, sometimes, gladiators. The reptiles do not seem to mind this; as long as they are well-fed and can fight, they are satisfied, and Tyzians are clever enough to keep them that way. After Tyrx was contacted by emissaries of Chairperor M'zzur and joined the galactic community, Torrarians started to appear on many different worlds as exotic bodyguards or stars of fight shows. Torrarians are massive, powerfully built creatures. Even when walking on bent legs, most are over 2 metres tall. They have elongated, crocodile-like jaws and muscular limbs and tails. Males and females look almost identical; both sexes wear no clothes, except when ordered by their masters. Most Torrarians are skilled fighters, cunning enough to make good use of their physical advantages. Unlike most other predatory alien races, they have poor senses of hearing and smell; they rely on their sharp eyesight, although they can't see the entire colour spectrum. [[Back to the index|gallords]]

Slender insectoids with elongated body and multiple many-jointed "arms", Zizzians are the native species of Zizziz, where they live in caverns and canyons in porous rocks forming the planet's outer crust. Their bodies are pale, with internal organs sometimes visible through the pinkish skin, and their heads resemble a cross between a dragonfly and a butterfly: slightly elongated, with a long proboscis and giant, multi-faceted, opalescent eyes. These eyes, shining in a multitude of colours, are the most striking physical feature of Zizzians and are considered beautiful by many, despite Zizzians' general ugliness. Giant eyes make Zizzians rely primarily on sight; they are also incredibly sensitive to colours. While they react to specific colours with similar emotions as humans and most other races, Zizzians' reactions are greatly amplified. The insect people of Zizziz are rather intelligent; they formed a society based around science and the accumulation of wisdom. The Great Library of Zizziz, with countless text recorded on chitin plates (many of them now on display in the Chaiperor's Royal Galactic Museum) is a remarkable place to behold. However, Zizzians never developed interplanetary travel and many other advanced technologies. Only after they had joined the galactic community united under the Chairperor's rule were they able to travel to other planets and record their history and culture, which seems to be their natural calling. Now Zizzians commonly work as archivists, researchers and librarians on many worlds. [[Back to the index|gallords]]

Xlx, the natives of planet Xlx, are medium-sized, stooping humanoids with wrinkled grey skin. Both sexes have bald heads and long, white beards. Xlx were one of the first alien races to recognise the greatness of Chairperor M'zzur's plan for unifying the Galaxy and to join the pangalactic community. Their planet is cold and barren, crisscrossed by countless canyons and dotted with caves, many of them hundreds of kilometres deep. Huge portions of the planet were devastated a few decades ago by bombardment from the M'zzur Enterprises' battleships; however, the craters complement the natural features of the planet's surface in quite a pleasing and harmonious manner. The harsh climate of Xlx may partially explain the slow, contemplative nature of its inhabitants. They enjoy hours-long discussions and explaining their point of view, especially to people of other races; it is only unfortunate that Xlx explanations hardly ever explain anything. [[Back to the index|gallords]]

2. After many days of journey you finally reach the ravine which hides the entrance to the legendary tlazl, where, as rumours say, a treasure of great value lies hidden. You are carrying: 1 mwwn 1 pwolx 1 uxxla You start descending towards the mouth of the tlazl when you hear vicious howling and a blood-curdling roar. An olwr of yglaz is following you! The yglaz run towards you, bloodlust burning in their eyes. You know that the only place where you can be safe from them is the tlazl. You only have a few seconds to decide upon a course of action: [[If you want to run to the tlazl as fast as you can, turn to page 7.|page7]] [[If you want to throw the yglaz a pwlox, turn to page 9.|page9]] [[If you want to throw the yglaz a glwx, turn to page 4.|page4]]

<<if $page7again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page7again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 7. You start running as fast as you can, but the yglaz are much, much faster. It only takes them seconds to catch up with you. They surround you and tear you to pieces with their sharp fangs. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<if $page9again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page9again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 9. You take the pwlox out of your backpack and throw it to the yglaz. The creatures immediately stop and start fighting over it. As they devour your pwlox, you run towards the mouth of the tlazl and descend a narrow corridor. You're in the tlazl and safe from the yglaz. Unfortunately, you lost your pwlox. For days you wander around the dark tunnels, until you finally die of starvation. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

4. You quickly take one glwx of your pwlox and throw it in the direction of the yglaz. The creatures start fighting over the glwx, which distracts them for a moment and lets you escape. The yglaz quickly devour the glwx, but by then you're already near the mouth of the tlazl, which is surrounded by jagged rocks. The entire olwr starts running after you, roaring ferociously, but you give them the slip by jumping straight into the dark opening. You roll down a descending tunnel, which leaves you breathless. You scramble to your feet and look around. You're safe – the yglaz didn't dare to enter the tlazl. You're in a small chamber with only two exits. [[If you want to go left, turn to page 6.|page6]] [[If you want to go right, turn to page 3.|page3]]

6. You take the left corridor. You follow the winding, narrow path for a long time and stop twice to eat a glwx. Finally, you reach a large chamber, dimly lit by a glowing lichen which covers the walls. You see an exit on the other side of the chamber, but it's completely grown over by strange, purple vines. [[If you want to cut the vines with your mwwn, turn to page 10.|page10]] [[If you want to throw your uxxla at the vines, turn to page 8.|page8]]

<<if $page3again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page3again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 3. You take the right corridor. You descend for a long time. You're about to enter a large chamber, when the floor starts collapsing under your feet, revealing a gaping abyss. Screaming, you fall down the chasm and hit the sharp rocks at the bottom. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<set $rageagain to true>>\ After yet another "death" of your unfortunate hero you come to the conclusion that the book is a pile of rubbish, written by someone who apparently wanted to torture their readers and never heard the word "fun" in their life. You're too tired of this exercise in frustration to start over. Without an ounce of guilt, you turn to the last page to see if anything interesting happens at the end. [[Continue|page25]]

<<set $rexhead to true>>\ 25. As the terrifying korxl slowly approaches, you recall stories told of these zwrx: supposedly, if they catch eye contact with their prey, they attempt to hypnotize it with their stare and won't move unless the prey moves first. You freeze in place and look straight in the beast's eyes; the korxl immediately stops. You're safe for a moment, but you can't stay like this forever. With a sudden burst of speed, you jump towards the nearest column. The korxl attacks and snaps at you, but you manage to grab one of the golden statues and drop it on the tlazl floor, right in front of the beast. The korxl's gaze meets the ruby eyes of the statue and the giant beast stops, as if an invisible force held it motionless. It will stay like this, until it drops down dead from hunger and exhaustion. You leave behind the now-harmless korxl and walk through the golden door. Finally, after passing through many dangers, you found the great treasure of the tlazl! Inside the treasury, a magnificent sight greets you: thousands of dictionaries and encyclopaedias, in which the wisdom of Xlx is collected! You're overcome with joy, for knowledge is the greatest treasure of all! Congratulations! You have conquered the Tlazl of Danger! You can now turn back to page 1 and attempt a different path through the book! Tlazl of Danger! A Xlxian Adventure is sponsored and published by the Xlxian Board of Tourism as part of the Program for Promoting Xlx as a Tourist Destination. [[Start over|cyoabook]] [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<if $page10again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page10again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 10. As soon as you begin to cut the vines, they start pulsating violently and emit a cloud of toxic spores which cause you to suffocate and die in horrible pain. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

8. You take aim and throw the uxxla at the strange vines blocking your way. The glass of the uxxla breaks and the plants burst into flames. Fire quickly consumes the vines. They way is clear, but you've lost your source of light. Luckily, the light-emitting lichen looks to be conveniently growing everywhere in the deeper parts of the tlazl. You continue on. After walking for about an hour, you reach a chamber with three exits. As you wonder which path to take, an unx walks out of one of the passages! It emits a thunderous roar and attacks you! [[If you want to unxyxx, turn to page 12.|page12]] [[If you want to bllc, turn to page 5.|page5]]

<<if $page12again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page12again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 12. You answer with a roar of your own and throw yourself at the unx, biting, screaming and kicking. The unx is taken aback by your rage, but only for a moment; then it catches you with its massive arms, tears you in half and devours you. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<set $bllc to true>>\ 5. You turn your tail and bllc in shame from the raging unx. You run into the narrowest tunnel, where the beast can't follow you. In the tunnel you find a skeleton of a long dead adventurer, still holding a nyx in his fleshless hands. You take the nyx and continue on. After several hours, you reach another chamber. With surprise, you notice a small camp set in its corner, and an alien adventurer! "Back off!" screams the alien; you think he's a human. "The treasure is mine!" He then pulls out a sword and attacks you! [[If you want to defend yourself with your mwwn, turn to page 11.|page11]] [[If you want to defend yourself with your nyx, turn to page 13.|page13]] [[If you want to wyxx, turn to page 15.|page15]]

<<if $page11again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page11again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 11. You try to stab the human with your mwwn, but his sword gives him a longer reach. He slashes once and cuts off your head. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

13. The human charges at you. You lower your nyx and hold it steady. Before the human can hit you with his sword, you thrust forward with the nyx and bury its sharp point in the alien's chest. He screams and drops down to the floor, dead. You decide not to take his sword, as you're not trained in the use of such weapons. You look around the chamber and find an exit hidden behind a pile of rock. You take it and find yourself on narrow, descending steps which lead you to a chamber carved in rock, lit by lamps beautifully wrought in gold. There is a golden statue of a bearded man sitting on a throne against one of the walls. You see no other exit from this chamber. [[If you want to poke the statue with your nyx, turn to page 17.|page17]] [[If you want to wyxx, turn to page 18.|page18]]

<<if $page15again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page15again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 15. You calm your mind and start to wyxx, hoping the poxorl will protect you, but before you can finish the ritual, the human slashes with his sword and cuts off your head. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<if $page17again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page17again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 17. As soon as your nyx touches the statue, there is a blinding flash of light. A forked blue lightning hits you and you're enveloped in flames. You die in horrible agony, screaming as your skin melts off and your eyes boil in their sockets. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

18. You clear your mind of any distractions, fix your gaze upon the statue and call upon the poxorl. You concentrate hard and after a while a hazy, transparent figure forms in front of the throne – a spirit of an ancient sage clad in long, flowing robes. 'Who are you and why do you seek my help?', he asks angrily, staring at you. [[If you want to bllc, turn to page 16.|page16]] [[If you want to tell the spirit you're after the treasure, turn to page 19.|page19]] [[If you want to tzylxx the spirit, turn to page 14.|page14]]

<<if $page16again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page16again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 16. You turn back and bllc, but the spirit raises his hands and shouts with a booming voice: 'Not so fast, accursed robber!' A beam of white energy hits you and you disintegrate. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<if $page19again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page19again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 19. You tell the spirit you came here to claim the treasure of the tlazl. 'Just as I thought', he shouts. 'A filthy robber! And you're insolent enough to admit that!' He raises his hand and summons a beam of white energy. The beam hits you and you disintegrate. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<set $tzylxx to true>>\ 14. The spirit doesn't seem friendly. You think he must be the guardian of the treasure and decide it would be best not to anger him. Remembering the cexla about Pnoxl, you decide to tzylxx the spirit and tell him you were sent here by the Council of Elders to check if the great treasure is safe from thieves. The spirit seems content with your explanation. 'Very well! It's good to see the Elders are finally taking matters seriously!', he says, raising his hands. Part of the wall revolves, revealing a passage. 'Go, quickly!', shouts the guardian spirit. 'See if no one has stolen the treasure!'. You follow the secret passage to a chamber cut by a deep chasm. There is a narrow rope bridge over the chasm. [[If you want to check if the ropes are tied tight, turn to page 21.|page21]] [[If you want to walk over the bridge, turn to page 23.|page23]] [[If you want to jump over the chasm, turn to page 20.|page20]]

<<if $page21again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page21again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 21. You tug at the ropes to make sure they are properly fastened. Unfortunately, it turns out the ropes are made of a deadly toxic, thorny vine. Several thorns puncture your skin and soon you are writhing in agony, feeling as if your entrails were burning. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

23. You safely cross the rope bridge. You find yourself standing in front of a giant, golden door, slightly ajar, which surely leads to the treasure! The door is surrounded by a circle of white columns, on which there stand golden statues with ruby eyes, looking wistfully towards the bridge. Then you notice there is a giant korxl guarding the door! Your eyes meet. You blink and the beast starts approaching you slowly, with a guttural growl. [[If you want to attack with your nyx, turn to page 22.|page22]] [[If you want to run to the door, turn to page 24.|page24]] [[If you want to pick up a statue and place it in front of the korxl, turn to page 25.|page25]]

<<if $page20again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page20again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 20. The bridge looks unsafe to you, so you decide to jump over the chasm with a running start. It turns out to be a very bad idea, which you realize as you fall down the bottomless chasm. Falling to your death, you have time to look at the bridge, which, from this perspective, looks perfectly safe. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<if $page22again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page22again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 22. You thrust with the nyx, but the korxl nimbly avoids your attack. Then he knocks you down and bites your head off with a single snap of its massive jaws. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

<<if $page24again>>\ <<else>><<set $deathcount += 1>><<set$page24again to true>>\ <</if>>\ 24. You dash towards the golden door, hoping to outmanoeuvre the korxl, but the giant beast is much faster than you expected. It jumps at you, knocks you down and bites your head off with a single snap of its massive jaws. You are dead. [[Start over?|cyoabook]] <<if $deathcount > 3>> <<if $rageagain>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|page25]] <<else>>[[Enough stupid death scenes. I'm skipping to the last page.|nerdrage]]<</if>> <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

The door to the repair shop is locked. [[Back|servicecorridor]]

<<set $overallstaken to true>><<set $overalls to true>>\ You stand up on tiptoe and reach to grab the red overalls from the peg. They were made for some janitor of small stature – they are still too big for you, but if you rolled up the sleeves and legs, you could wear them just fine. Item received: Janitor's overalls [[Continue|storeroom]]

<<if $mopheadtaken>>\ A bucket and some old, dirty mops. They smell just as bad as they look. [[Back|storeroom]] <<else>>\ <<set $mopheadtaken to true>><<set $mop to true>>\ You find some old, dirty, smelly mops which you don't really want to touch, and a perfectly white, brand new mop head someone has left in the bucket. It's made of thin, long threads that look a lot like hair. You take the mop head. Item received: Mop head [[Continue|storeroom]] <</if>>

You come closer to the bathtub and notice it's filled with a low level of some semi-transparent greenish fluid. The Quik are standing in it, barefoot. As you watch for a while longer, you notice the level of the fluid gradually dropping. [[Talk to the Quik in the bathtub|bathtubtalk]] [[Back|quikroom]]

<<if $mainquikagain && $needcape == true>>\ The Quik looks back at you. It seems to be pondering some thought. Finally, it speaks: QUIK: Good time you back! Quik need help again; important stuff! Quik must have thin foil of real gold. Can you find some for Quik? CHUK: Foil made of real gold? That must be crazy expensive! QUIK: Yes, it expensive, but very much needed! You help, please? [[Okay, if I find any, I'll bring it to you.|mcapeok]] [[I can't promise anything. I most likely won't have time to look for gold foil.|mcapenotime]] <<elseif $mainquikagain && $needfuel == true>>\ The Quik looks back at you. It seems to be pondering some thought. Finally, it speaks: QUIK: Welcome! Quik hear you Grand Champion now, very important, very powerful! Quik sorry to ask, but Quik need one more thing, maybe Grand Champion can help? If Quik not find this, things go bad, very bad! Please, Grand Champion, you bring Quik some rocket fuel? Little fuel, for little ship. Will look like silver box. Quik know it hard to get, but Quik also hear Big General has small ship in a secret hangar somewhere. You find it, you find fuel, too! [[Okay, I'll look for it.|mfuelok]] [[I have more important things do to right now.|mfuelnotime]] <<elseif $mainquikagain && $needwatch == true>>\ The Quik looks back at you. It seems to be pondering some thought. Finally, it speaks: QUIK: Good time you back! Quik need your help very much. Quik need electronic brain, tiny, tiny one, that really important. Can you bring Quik one, please? [[I don't have time for that.|mwatchnotime]] [[I'll see what I can do.|mwatchok]] <<elseif $mainquikagain>>\ The Quik is busy working on some tangled mess of wires and circuit boards. Various tools, scraps of metal and electronics parts are scattered on the workbench. [[Back|quikroom]] <<else>><<set $mainquikagain to true>> All of a sudden, the Quik puts down its tools and stares right at you. QUIK: You no Quik. You who? [[Tell it you're a contestant|contestant]] [[Tell it you're a guest|guest]] [[Tell it it's none of its business|nobusiness]] <</if>>\

You try to start a conversation, but the Quik turn away from you, nervously whispering among themselves. [[Back|quikroom]]

<<if $needwatch>>CHUK: I'm a warrior participating in the tournament! I come from a faraway planet! Something about you seems to interest the Quik. QUIK: Small warrior… You brave! Maybe you help Quik? Quik need electronic brain, tiny, tiny one, that really important. Can you bring Quik one, please? [[I don't have time for that.|mwatchnotime]] [[I'll see what I can do.|mwatchok]] <<else>>CHUK: I'm a warrior participating in the tournament! I come from a faraway planet! Something about you seems to interest the Quik. QUIK: Small warrior… You brave! Maybe you help Quik later? We see… It goes back to its work, humming a strange little tune. [[Continue|quikroom]] <</if>>

<<if $needwatch>>CHUK: I came here to watch the tournament! I'm from a distant planet! QUIK: Honourable guest no go to dirty Quik room. Quik may be punished! But you smart, you use disguise. And you no hurt Quik. Quik think you good person. Maybe you help Quik? Quik need electronic brain, tiny, tiny one, that really important. Can you bring Quik one, please? [[I don't have time for that.|mwatchnotime]] [[I'll see what I can do.|mwatchok]] <<else>>CHUK: I came here to watch the tournament! I'm from a distant planet! QUIK: Honourable guest no go to dirty Quik room. Quik may be punished! But you smart, you use disguise. And you no hurt Quik. Quik think you good person. Maybe you help Quik later? We see… Maybe you help Quik later? We see… It goes back to its work, humming a strange little tune. [[Continue|quikroom]] <</if>>

<<if $needwatch>>CHUK: That's none of your business. The Quik looks hurt by your words, and it somehow makes you feel guilty, so you quickly add: CHUK: Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just looking around the ship. Um… sorry I barged into your room like that. The Quik nods. It looks like it's approving of your words. QUIK: You apologise to Quik! People never no apologise. You good person, we think. You come to Quik room if you want, yes? Maybe you help Quik? Quik need electronic brain, tiny, tiny one, that really important. Can you bring Quik one, please? [[I don't have time for that.|mwatchnotime]] [[I'll see what I can do.|mwatchok]] <<else>>CHUK: That's none of your business. The Quik looks hurt by your words, and it somehow makes you feel guilty, so you quickly add: CHUK: Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just looking around the ship. Um… sorry I barged into your room like that. The Quik nods. It looks like it's approving of your words. QUIK: You apologise to Quik! People never no apologise. You good person, we think. You come to Quik room if you want, yes? Maybe you help Quik later? We see… It goes back to its work, humming a strange little tune. [[Continue|quikroom]] <</if>>

STEVE: Then what are you bothering me for? I have enough on my head running this thing without you arena primadonnas changing your minds every five seconds! All right, all right. I apologise. Guess it won't do to send you out unprepared. Go, get ready, preferably fast, and come back. [[Continue|mainlobby]]

STEVE: Excellent! He pulls out his phone and pushes a button. There is a low rumble and you hear Steve's recorded voice booming from hidden loudspeakers. STEVE: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! OUR ATHLETES ARE READY TO PROVIDE YOU WITH ANOTHER EXCITING EXPERIENCE! THE NEXT MATCH IS STARTING IN TEN MINUTES! DON'T MISS THE SHOW! STEVE: No turning back now, my friend! Right, let's get on with the formalities. Do you have a weapon you want to register? Mm, none of your items meet the registration criteria. Unarmed combat, then, just like your opponent. OK, put your stuff on that bench. Thanks. You may proceed to the right, to gate 2. Yes, through that door. I still have Gaaarg to deal with. I just hope he got used to fighting in pants and we won't need to go through all the convincing again. <<if $overallson>>\ STEVE: By the way, nice costume, but I think it belongs to M'zzur Enterprises. Hand it over, please. CHUK: All right, I'm taking it off… though, you know, I'm not wearing anything underneath. STEVE: On second thought, keep it for the time being. <<else>><</if>>\ STEVE: All right, Chuk! Enough talking; go, put on a show they won't forget! [[Continue|fight1B]]

You wait in a small room, behind a heavy metal portcullis which leads to the arena. The arena is circular, covered with white sand. The first rows of seats are very close to its edge. There's a fencing – made of single, tall metal posts – separating them from the arena. The audience on the tribunes start cheering as Steve's voice booms over the arena. STEVE: LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND ALL THE REST OF YOU! WELCOME TO THE SECOND QUARTER-FINAL OF THE GRAND GALACTIC FIGHTING TOURNAMENT! WE ARE GOING TO SEE ONE OF THE CROWD FAVOURITES, THE MIGHTY, THE CUNNING, THE UNSTOPPABLE GAAARG! The cheering gets louder as the reptilian fighter appears out of his gate, roaring and making swiping movements with his arms. STEVE: SEEMS LIKE GAAARG IS POISED TO WIN… BUT HE HASN'T WON THIS MATCH YET! CAN HE TAKE HOME ANOTHER VICTORY, OR WILL HE FINALLY BE BESTED BY OUR NEW CONTESTANT? STEVE: FROM GATE 2 APPEARS A NEW MARVEL! A WARRIOR OF SMALL STATURE BUT GREAT SPIRIT! THOUGH HE ARRIVED LATE FOR THE TOURNAMENT, HIS RECORD AS A FIGHTER CONVINCED US TO GIVE THIS BRAVE PARTICIPANT A CHANCE! YES, THAT'S RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IF CHUK WINS HIS FIRST MATCH, HE'LL GO STRAIGHT TO THE SEMI-FINALS! WHAT EMOTIONS! WHAT A TWIST! LET'S GIVE IT TO CHUUUUUUK! You walk into the arena, where Gaaarg awaits you. The audience cheers. You're tense, almost shaking, but you force yourself to concentrate. The noises go silent. There's only you, Gaaarg, and a fight for you to win. <<if $color == 'red' && $overallson>> [[Continue|fight1win]] <<elseif $color == 'red'>> [[Continue|fight1lose1]] <<elseif $overallson>> [[Continue|fight1lose1]] <<else>> [[Continue|fight1lose2]] <</if>>

Gaaarg is waiting in the middle of the arena, a hulking giant, likely able to crush you with a single blow. He, however, isn't attacking you. He's turning this and that way, utterly confused, looking for his opponent. That's, of course, because he can't see anything red. In your overalls and with red skin you're practically invisible to him. CHUK: I'm here, you croc-faced dummy! Gaaarg turns to you and leaps, but you dash to the side. The reptile lands and strikes, but hits only air. You hear the audience laughing and applauding. This makes Gaaarg furious. GAAARG: I'LL CRUSH YOU! CHUK: Try it, you dumb hunk of muscle! Gaaarg gets ready to charge. [[Run to the centre of the arena|gaaargmiss]] [[Stand in front of the arena fencing|fight1wina]]

Gaaarg looks around for a moment, seemingly confused, frowning. Then he notices you, laughs coarsely and fixes his gaze on you. You know you can't fight the giant reptilian warrior head on. You prepare to dodge his first attack. Then Gaaarg strikes. And it turns out he's faster than he has any right to be with his immense size. The crowd holds their breath. Gaaarg reaches you with a single powerful leap and hits you with a mighty swipe of his arm. Before you could even think about dodging, you are knocked out cold. You fall down senseless. You were defeated and are out of the tournament. You lost your only chance to get back the Crystal Moon. <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch1]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

Gaaarg laughs coarsely and fixes his gaze on you. His small, unblinking yellow eyes seem to burn you. You know you can't fight the giant reptilian warrior head on. You prepare to dodge his first attack. Then Gaaarg strikes. And it turns out he's faster than he has any right to be with his immense size. The crowd holds their breath. Gaaarg reaches you with a single powerful leap and hits you with a mighty swipe of his arm. Before you could even think about dodging, you are knocked out cold. You fall down senseless. You were defeated and are out of the tournament. You lost your only chance to get back the Crystal Moon. <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch1]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

<<set $act to 2>><<set $needwatch to true>>\ You walk off the arena, feeling dizzy – must be the adrenaline. Steve is waiting for you in the vestibule. STEVE: Congratulations, my friend! Well played! I admit, I didn't believe you could really pull that off, but you surprised me – surprised us all! That was… that was different, and people really liked it! STEVE: Now go get some rest, and start preparing for the semi-finals! You'll be going against Princess Ochra the Chelac – a true swordmaster! STEVE: Oh, and about these overalls… You take off the janitor's overalls, revealing your traveller's outfit, and hand them to Steve, who frowns. STEVE: So you weren't naked underneath, you little devil! Oh well, I guess it's no use getting angry about it now. But from now on, please refrain from appropriating M'zzur Enterprises' assets for yourself, friend. Item lost: Janitor's overalls <<set $overalls to false>><<set $overallson to false>>\ [[Continue|fight1win2a]]

<<set $leaf to true>><<set $leafcut to true>>\ You make sure the painter isn't looking and cut off one of the leathery leaves. Item received: Reddish leaf. [[Continue|conservatory]]

A leathery, reddish leaf cut from the plant in the conservatory. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Reddish leaf <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleaf == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleaf == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleaf == 'quiks'>>CHUK: I don't think they want that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useleaf][$useleaf to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useleaf][$useleaf to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useleaf][$useleaf to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useleaf][$useleaf to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useleaf][$useleaf to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleaf == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useleaf][$useleaf to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useleaf][$useleaf to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useleaf][$useleaf to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleaf == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useleaf][$useleaf to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useleaf][$useleaf to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useleaf][$useleaf to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'plant'>>CHUK: I didn't cut it off to put it back on the plant. <<elseif $useleaf == 'painter'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: It doesn't need watering. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useleaf][$useleaf to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useleaf][$useleaf to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useleaf][$useleaf to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'overalls'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useleaf][$useleaf to 'mops']] <<if $overallstaken>>\ <<else>> [[Use with janitor's overalls|useleaf][$useleaf to 'overalls']] <</if>> [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useleaf][$useleaf to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useleaf][$useleaf to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't open the door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useleaf][$useleaf to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'guard'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useleaf][$useleaf to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|useleaf][$useleaf to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|useleaf][$useleaf to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'largepot'>>CHUK: I don't want to feed this leaf to the guests. <<elseif $useleaf == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'leeks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|addleaf]] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useleaf][$useleaf to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|useleaf][$useleaf to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|useleaf][$useleaf to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|useleaf][$useleaf to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'baron'>>CHUK: As a naturalist, what can you tell me about this leaf? BARON VON SCHMERZKOPF: Zat's Bamban Fireplant, ov course. Mozt egzellent viz vinaigrette! <<elseif $useleaf == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useleaf][$useleaf to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|useleaf][$useleaf to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'toad'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leaves. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|useleaf][$useleaf to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useleaf][$useleaf to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useleaf][$useleaf to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useleaf][$useleaf to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useleaf][$useleaf to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'deck'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $useleaf == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|useleaf][$useleaf to 'deck']] [[Use with crystal ball|useleaf][$useleaf to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useleaf][$useleaf to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useleaf][$useleaf to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useleaf][$useleaf to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'swords'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsgone>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|useleaf][$useleaf to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useleaf][$useleaf to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useleaf == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleaf == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleaf == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useleaf][$useleaf to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useleaf][$useleaf to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useleaf][$useleaf to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Reddish leaf <<if $leafwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'overalls'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut it into pieces. <<elseif $leafwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leaves. <<elseif $leafwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $leafwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leafwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $ball>>[[Blue foam ball|combineleaf]] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $overalls>>[[Janitor's overalls|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'overalls']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combineleaf][$leafwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$leafwith to 'none']]

<<if $talkpainteragain>>\ PAINTER: ...Oh, you're back. <<else>>\ <<set $talkpainteragain to true>>\ The woman doesn't notice you until you speak. CHUK: Hi! PAINTER: …Hello. Excuse me, I'm a little busy. <</if>>\ [[Look at the painting|lookpainting]] <<if $portraitdone>>\ <<else>>\ [[Could you paint my portrait?|askpaint]] <</if>>\ [[Back|conservatory]]

The plant has large, leathery leaves with very thick stalks. There is a plaque on its planter. [[Read the plaque|plaque]] [[Pick a leaf|trypick]] [[Back|conservatory]]

You stand in the bushes, which cover you almost completely. It's nice and calm among the green leaves, but you don't want to waste time, so you leave your hiding place after a few moments. [[Back|conservatory]]

<<if $lookpainting>>\ General Vox's portrait looks pretty much done to you, but the painter is still adding some finishing touches, all while grumbling to herself. [[Back|talkpainter2]] <<else>>\ <<set $lookpainting to true>>\ It's an almost finished portrait of a middle-aged human woman with sharp features and short, grey hair. She's wearing a black uniform with elaborate gold distinctions. PAINTER: That's general Lynda Vox. She's running the tournament in the Chairperor's name. And, I'm telling you, she's one picky customer. The painter goes back to applying finishing touches to the portrait. [[Back|talkpainter2]] <</if>>

<<set $paperquest to true>>\ The painter gives you a long, thoughtful look. PAINTER: Well, you're an interesting little guy… never met one like you before. Yes, I think I could paint you, but you'll have to bring me some canvas, or at least thick, quality paper. I had to do so many versions of Vox's portrait that my stock ran out, and I can't seem to buy materials anywhere on this ship. You'd think they'd have their supplies, but no, all they sell is those horrible souvenirs and disgusting soda. [[Back|talkpainter2]]

[[Look at the painting|lookpainting]] <<if $portraitdone>>\ <<else>>\ [[Could you paint my portrait?|askpaint]] <</if>>\ [[Back|conservatory]]

Sienan Twitchplant. Only three specimens of this plant are left in the entire Galaxy. Caution: leaves of the Sienan Twitchplant contain an extremely powerful laxative. Do not consume. If consumed, please refrain from using our luxury cushioned seats. [[Back|plant]]

<<if $leafcut>>\ CHUK: I don't need any more leaves. [[Back|plant]] <<else>>\ You try to pick one of the leaves, but the thick, rubbery stalks are too strong for you to break. [[Back|plant]] <</if>>\

<<set $room to 'northerncorridor'>>\ <center>Main deck north-eastern corridor</center> You're in the north-eastern end of the main corridor. There are no people here, and you see only one <<if $golddooropen>>[[door|rexroom]]<<else>>[[door|voxdoor]]<</if>> – large and golden – the sign on which reads Private apartments of Gen. Lynda Vox. There's also a side corridor here, leading <<if $act == 1>>[[west|westblocked]]<<else>>[[west|northwesterncorridor]]<</if>><<if $act == 1>>, but it's blocked by red metal bars<</if>>. You can also follow the main corridor [[south|easterncorridor]]. <<if $act2startedn == true>>\ <<elseif $act == 2>>\ You notice that the corridor leading west, which was closed off before, is now accessible. <<set $act2startedn to true>>\ <</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

The door is locked. There's a card reader on it. CHUK: I don't think I can open it without the right access card. [[Back|northerncorridor]]

<center>Chuk and the Arena</center> <center>[[New game|intro1]]</center> <center><<link "Load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center> <center>[[About|about]]</center>

The balding man walks to the counter. He's looking deeply unhappy. BOB: You heard her! What in the name of M'zzur am I supposed to do? We don't have a bladesmith! What even is a bladesmith? STEVE: Stop it. You know as well as I do that no one has cursed these swords. She's just talked herself into believing this nonsense, because she's superstitious. Leave them at the repair shop. Someone will give them a proper cleaning to make them all nice and shiny, and when you tell the Princess they were "un-cursed", she's going to buy it. BOB: That… that's a great idea! Thanks, Steve. Boy, I'd never think about this myself! STEVE: …I know. Bob hastily leaves the lobby through the north-eastern exit, clasping the swords to his chest. Steve turns to you. STEVE: Well, you've seen Ochra. Go, get ready for the fight. Surprise us again! [[Continue|mainlobby]]

<<set $fakeheadon to false>>\ CHUK: I'd better take off the disguise before going there. I don't want everybody to think I'm a Quik. You take off your disguise. [[Continue|mainlobby]]

You take a look at the huge stack of labels the librarian has cut. CHUK: That paper is as thin as a tissue. I don't think you could paint on it. [[Back|library]]

You look through the door and see crowds of aliens swarming around stands with merchandise and gated stairways leading to the tribunes. CHUK: No, thanks. They would trample me. [[Back|easterncorridor]]

A red, cross-head screwdriver. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Screwdriver <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'quiks'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'securibot'>>CHUK: I don't see any screws on that robot. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I'm sure he has his own tools. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'bar'>>CHUK: No screws to unscrew here. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'robot'>>CHUK: I don't see any screws on that robot. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'plant']] <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'quik'>>CHUK: It's got its own tools. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'door'>>CHUK: No screws on that door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: I don't want to dismantle that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'guard'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|removegrate]] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'largepot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: I don't see any screws on that robot. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'leeks'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'baron'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'petshop'>>CHUK: I don't want to dismantle that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'bearded'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: He doesn't need a screwdriver for painting. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'toad'>>CHUK: It's a real toad. Doesn't have any screws to unscrew. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'bars'>>CHUK: No screws to unscrew here. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'deck'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'crystal'>>CHUK: No screws on that magic ball. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'swords'>>CHUK: No screws on these swords. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'statue'>>CHUK: No screws on that statue. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'moon'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: His hands aren't screwed together. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'rex'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'ship'>>CHUK: I see no screws on this ship. Curse M'zzur Enterprises' advanced production methods! <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'posterright'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $usescrewdriver == 'guards'>>CHUK: No way could I defeat all of them. <<elseif $usescrewdriver == 'chairperor'>>CHUK: The guards will shoot me before I get to stab the Chairperor. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|usescrewdriver][$usescrewdriver to 'chairperor']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Screwdriver <<if $screwdriverwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: I don't want to mess with this watch. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: It's a real toad. Doesn't have any screws to unscrew. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: It's a screw-on cap, but that doesn't mean I need a screwdriver to remove it. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: I don't want to mess with this remote. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: I don't want to mess with this remote. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: I don't want to dismantle its space gear. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: Opening the fuel container now would be extremely dangerous. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $screwdriverwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinescrewdriver][$screwdriverwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$screwdriverwith to 'none']]

It's a big, green and yellow striped toad with two pointy horns. It looks half asleep. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Korrian Horned Toad <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usetoad == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants a pet. <<elseif $usetoad == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants a pet. <<elseif $usetoad == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants a pet. <<elseif $usetoad == 'quiks'>>CHUK: I don't think they want a pet. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usetoad][$usetoad to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usetoad][$usetoad to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usetoad][$usetoad to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usetoad][$usetoad to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usetoad][$usetoad to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usetoad == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants a pet. <<elseif $usetoad == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usetoad][$usetoad to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usetoad][$usetoad to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usetoad][$usetoad to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants a pet. <<elseif $usetoad == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usetoad == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usetoad][$usetoad to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usetoad][$usetoad to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usetoad][$usetoad to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'plant'>>CHUK: It's not interested in this plant. <<elseif $usetoad == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants a pet. <<elseif $usetoad == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Want to take a shower, toad? ... It's not interested in the waterfall. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usetoad][$usetoad to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usetoad][$usetoad to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usetoad][$usetoad to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usetoad][$usetoad to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'tub'>>CHUK: I don't think the toad would like to bathe in... whatever that tub is filled with. <<elseif $usetoad == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants a pet. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usetoad][$usetoad to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usetoad][$usetoad to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usetoad][$usetoad to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usetoad == 'guard'>>CHUK: Look at my awesome toad! You can buy a toad like this in the pet shop down that corridor! ROYAL GUARD: My employment contract explicitly prohibits me from purchasing pets when on duty, so NO THANKS. Sir. <<elseif $usetoad == 'grate'>>CHUK: The toad could squeeze through the grate, but then what? <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usetoad][$usetoad to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usetoad][$usetoad to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usetoad][$usetoad to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: I don't want to cook it! <<elseif $usetoad == 'largepot'>>CHUK: It's a pet, not food! <<elseif $usetoad == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: Better not. It might dice the poor toad and add it to the stew! <<elseif $usetoad == 'leeks'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leeks. <<elseif $usetoad == 'carrots'>>CHUK: I don't think anything would want to eat those carrots. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usetoad][$usetoad to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usetoad][$usetoad to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usetoad][$usetoad to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usetoad][$usetoad to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usetoad][$usetoad to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'baron'>>CHUK: As a naturalist, what can you tell me about my pet? BARON VON SCHMERZKOPF: Oooh, zuch a beautiful hamster! <<elseif $usetoad == 'petshop'>>CHUK: I don't want to return it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usetoad][$usetoad to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usetoad][$usetoad to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|deploytoad]] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'bars'>>CHUK: The toad could squeeze through the bars, but bringing it to the arena wouldn't really help anything. <<elseif $usetoad == 'ledge'>>CHUK: I don't want to leave it on this ledge. <<elseif $usetoad == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That's no place for a toad. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usetoad][$usetoad to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usetoad][$usetoad to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usetoad][$usetoad to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'deck'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usetoad == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usetoad == 'basket'>>CHUK: I don't want to put my toad in that basket. <<elseif $usetoad == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw my toad away. <<elseif $usetoad == 'madame'>>CHUK: A fortune teller should have a cat for a pet, not a toad. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usetoad][$usetoad to 'deck']] [[Use with crystal ball|usetoad][$usetoad to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usetoad][$usetoad to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usetoad][$usetoad to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usetoad][$usetoad to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'swords'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usetoad == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsgone>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usetoad][$usetoad to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usetoad][$usetoad to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usetoad == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants a pet. <<elseif $usetoad == 'valves'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usetoad == 'valves2'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usetoad][$usetoad to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usetoad][$usetoad to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usetoad][$usetoad to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Korrian Horned Toad <<if $toadwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt my toad. <<elseif $toadwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $toadwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: Hey, look, toad! It's a leaflet from the store where I bought you. It doesn't have your picture in it, though... <<elseif $toadwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leaves. <<elseif $toadwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: It's a real toad. Doesn't have any screws to unscrew. <<elseif $toadwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: Toads have no use for fancy watches. <<elseif $toadwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: A golden toad would look amazing, but I'm afraid the paint would hurt it. <<elseif $toadwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leeks. <<elseif $toadwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leeks. Especially not spray-painted ones. <<elseif $toadwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: The carbonation could inflate it, and that would be animal cruelty. <<elseif $toadwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $toadwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $toadwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $toadwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: It looks just right for a toad and doesn't need a fake mop beard. <<elseif $toadwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: It's much too big for the toad to wear. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinetoad][$toadwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$toadwith to 'none']]

A pocket watch you received from Baron von Schmerzkopf. It's a new model, gold-plated, with advanced electronics and over 1000 functions. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Pocket watch <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'steve'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'ena'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'girl'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'quik'>>CHUK: Why would a Quik need a golden pocket watch? <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usewatch][$usewatch to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|usewatch][$usewatch to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usewatch][$usewatch to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usewatch][$usewatch to 'girl']] <<if $questwatch>>[[Use with Quik|watchtoquik]] <<else>>[[Use with Quik|usewatch][$usewatch to 'quik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'janitor'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usewatch][$usewatch to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usewatch][$usewatch to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usewatch][$usewatch to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usewatch][$usewatch to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'librarian'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'robot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usewatch][$usewatch to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usewatch][$usewatch to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usewatch][$usewatch to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'painter'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usewatch][$usewatch to 'plant']] <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|usewatch][$usewatch to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|usewatch][$usewatch to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usewatch][$usewatch to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usewatch][$usewatch to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'mainquik'>>CHUK: Why would a Quik need a golden pocket watch? <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usewatch][$usewatch to 'tub']] <<if $questwatch>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|watchtomainquik]] <<else>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|usewatch][$usewatch to 'mainquik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usewatch][$usewatch to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'guard'>>ROYAL GUARD: You can't bribe me with that trinket. Sir. <<elseif $usewatch == 'grate'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usewatch][$usewatch to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usewatch][$usewatch to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usewatch][$usewatch to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'leeks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usewatch][$usewatch to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usewatch][$usewatch to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usewatch][$usewatch to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usewatch][$usewatch to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usewatch][$usewatch to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'baron'>>CHUK: He could be offended if I returned the watch. <<elseif $usewatch == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'bearded'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usewatch][$usewatch to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usewatch][$usewatch to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usewatch][$usewatch to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'toad'>>CHUK: Toads have no use for fancy watches. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usewatch][$usewatch to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usewatch][$usewatch to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usewatch][$usewatch to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usewatch][$usewatch to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usewatch][$usewatch to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'deck'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usewatch == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usewatch][$usewatch to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usewatch][$usewatch to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usewatch][$usewatch to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usewatch][$usewatch to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usewatch][$usewatch to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'swords'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usewatch][$usewatch to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usewatch][$usewatch to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usewatch == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usewatch][$usewatch to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usewatch][$usewatch to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usewatch][$usewatch to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'moon'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usewatch][$usewatch to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usewatch][$usewatch to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usewatch][$usewatch to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usewatch][$usewatch to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|usewatch][$usewatch to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'rex'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usewatch][$usewatch to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'ship'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usewatch][$usewatch to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usewatch == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usewatch == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usewatch == 'posterright'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usewatch][$usewatch to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usewatch][$usewatch to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usewatch][$usewatch to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Pocket watch <<if $watchwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: I don't want to mess with this watch. <<elseif $watchwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: Toads have no use for fancy watches. <<elseif $watchwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: The watch already is gold. <<elseif $watchwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: Not a proper place to store your watch. <<elseif $watchwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: I think it has a built-in timer in its space gear. <<elseif $watchwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $watchwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinewatch][$watchwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$watchwith to 'none']]

A large can of gold spray paint. CHUK: "For use on all surfaces!" [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Gold spray paint <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I'd love to vandalise that portrait, but there are too many people looking. <<elseif $usepaint == 'steve'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepaint == 'ena'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepaint == 'girl'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepaint == 'quiks'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usepaint][$usepaint to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usepaint][$usepaint to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usepaint][$usepaint to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usepaint][$usepaint to 'girl']] <<if $questcape>> [[Use with Quik|painttoquik]] <<else>> [[Use with Quik|usepaint][$usepaint to 'quiks']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'securibot'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint it gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'janitor'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepaint == 'bar'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usepaint][$usepaint to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usepaint][$usepaint to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usepaint][$usepaint to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usepaint][$usepaint to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'librarian'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepaint == 'robot'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint it gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'books'>>CHUK: I don't want to vandalise the books. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usepaint][$usepaint to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usepaint][$usepaint to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usepaint][$usepaint to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'plant'>>CHUK: I like the colour of that plant. I don't want to change it. <<elseif $usepaint == 'painter'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepaint == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: I can't spray paint a waterfall. <<elseif $usepaint == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usepaint][$usepaint to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usepaint][$usepaint to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usepaint][$usepaint to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usepaint][$usepaint to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usepaint][$usepaint to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'tub'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'quik'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usepaint][$usepaint to 'tub']] <<if $questcape>> [[Use with Quik mechanic|painttomainquik]] <<else>> [[Use with Quik mechanic|usepaint][$usepaint to 'quik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'door'>>CHUK: The door's already painted gold. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usepaint][$usepaint to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'guard'>>CHUK: His armour already is gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'grate'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usepaint][$usepaint to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usepaint][$usepaint to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usepaint][$usepaint to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepaint == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepaint == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint it gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'leeks'>>CHUK: I can't paint them while they're lying in a heap. I need to pick them up first. <<elseif $usepaint == 'carrots'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usepaint][$usepaint to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usepaint][$usepaint to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usepaint][$usepaint to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usepaint][$usepaint to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usepaint][$usepaint to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'baron'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepaint == 'petshop'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'bearded'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usepaint][$usepaint to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usepaint][$usepaint to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usepaint][$usepaint to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepaint == 'toad'>>CHUK: A golden toad would look amazing, but I'm afraid the paint would hurt it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usepaint][$usepaint to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usepaint][$usepaint to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'bars'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'ledge'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'pipes'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usepaint][$usepaint to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usepaint][$usepaint to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usepaint][$usepaint to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'deck'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint the cards gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'crystal'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'basket'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usepaint == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usepaint][$usepaint to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usepaint][$usepaint to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usepaint][$usepaint to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usepaint][$usepaint to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usepaint][$usepaint to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'swords'>>CHUK: They're already gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'workbench'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint that gold. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usepaint][$usepaint to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usepaint][$usepaint to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepaint == 'valves'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint the valves gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint the valves gold. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usepaint][$usepaint to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usepaint][$usepaint to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usepaint][$usepaint to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usepaint == 'statue'>>CHUK: It's already gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'phone'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint it gold. <<elseif $usepaint == 'moon'>>CHUK: The Crystal Moon is infinitely more beautiful than any amount of gold! <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usepaint][$usepaint to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usepaint][$usepaint to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usepaint][$usepaint to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Gold spray paint <<if $paintwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: The watch already is gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: A golden toad would look amazing, but I'm afraid the paint would hurt it. <<elseif $paintwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: They're already painted gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: There's enough gold in this bottle's design. <<elseif $paintwith == 'band'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'card'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I don't want to spray golden paint all over my beautiful portrait! <<elseif $paintwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: It's already gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'box'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'book'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $paintwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: It's already gold. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|paintwithleeks]] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|paintwithremote]] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinepaint][$paintwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$paintwith to 'none']]

These four large leeks have been painted gold. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Golden leeks <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'steve'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'ena'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'girl'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'quiks'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'janitor'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'librarian'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'robot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'painter'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'quik'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'guard'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'largepot'>>CHUK: I'll find a better use for these golden leeks. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'baron'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'toad'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leeks. Especially not spray-painted ones. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'deck'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw them away. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'deck']] [[Use with crystal ball|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|swapswords]] [[Use with workbench|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenleeks == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usegoldenleeks == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usegoldenleeks][$usegoldenleeks to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Golden leeks <<if $goldenleekswith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I need them whole. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'toad'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leeks. Especially not spray-painted ones. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'paint'>>CHUK: They're already painted gold. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenleekswith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinegoldenleeks][$goldenleekswith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$goldenleekswith to 'none']]

Four exceptionally large leeks. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Large leeks <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleeks == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleeks == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleeks == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleeks == 'quiks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useleeks][$useleeks to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useleeks][$useleeks to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useleeks][$useleeks to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useleeks][$useleeks to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useleeks][$useleeks to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleeks == 'janitor'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleeks == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useleeks][$useleeks to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useleeks][$useleeks to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useleeks][$useleeks to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $useleeks == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useleeks][$useleeks to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useleeks][$useleeks to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useleeks][$useleeks to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'painter'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleeks == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useleeks][$useleeks to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useleeks][$useleeks to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useleeks][$useleeks to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useleeks][$useleeks to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'quik'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useleeks][$useleeks to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useleeks][$useleeks to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useleeks][$useleeks to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'guard'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useleeks][$useleeks to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|useleeks][$useleeks to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|useleeks][$useleeks to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'largepot'>>CHUK: I'll find a better use for these leeks. <<elseif $useleeks == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useleeks][$useleeks to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|useleeks][$useleeks to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleeks == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useleeks][$useleeks to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|useleeks][$useleeks to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleeks == 'toad'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leeks. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|useleeks][$useleeks to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useleeks][$useleeks to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleeks == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useleeks][$useleeks to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useleeks][$useleeks to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useleeks][$useleeks to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'deck'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useleeks == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useleeks == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw them away. <<elseif $useleeks == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|useleeks][$useleeks to 'deck']] [[Use with crystal ball|useleeks][$useleeks to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useleeks][$useleeks to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useleeks][$useleeks to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useleeks][$useleeks to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'swords'>>CHUK: If Princess Ochra fought with leeks instead of swords, she would be much less dangerous. Now, the leeks are about the same size as the swords, but they don't look too similar. <<elseif $useleeks == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsgone>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|useleeks][$useleeks to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useleeks][$useleeks to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useleeks == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $useleeks == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $useleeks == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useleeks][$useleeks to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useleeks][$useleeks to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useleeks][$useleeks to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Large leeks <<if $leekswith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I need them whole. <<elseif $leekswith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'toad'>>CHUK: It doesn't eat leeks. <<elseif $leekswith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $leekswith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|paintwithleeks]] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combineleeks][$leekswith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$leekswith to 'none']]

A bottle of cinnamon-flavoured diet soda. A warning on the label reads: Caution! Extremely fizzy. Do not shake! [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use M'zzur Soda <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usesoda == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usesoda == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usesoda == 'quiks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usesoda][$usesoda to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usesoda][$usesoda to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usesoda][$usesoda to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usesoda][$usesoda to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usesoda][$usesoda to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usesoda == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usesoda][$usesoda to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usesoda][$usesoda to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usesoda][$usesoda to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|tradesoda]] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usesoda == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usesoda][$usesoda to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usesoda][$usesoda to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usesoda][$usesoda to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'plant'>>CHUK: It doesn't need watering with soda. <<elseif $usesoda == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usesoda == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usesoda][$usesoda to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usesoda][$usesoda to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usesoda][$usesoda to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usesoda][$usesoda to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usesoda][$usesoda to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'quik'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usesoda][$usesoda to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usesoda][$usesoda to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usesoda][$usesoda to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: I don't want to put this back in the machine. <<elseif $usesoda == 'guard'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usesoda][$usesoda to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usesoda][$usesoda to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usesoda][$usesoda to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: It wouldn't go well with the rest of the ingredients. <<elseif $usesoda == 'largepot'>>CHUK: It wouldn't go well with the rest of the ingredients. <<elseif $usesoda == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: I don't think it needs cinnamon-flavoured soda for cooking. <<elseif $usesoda == 'leeks'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usesoda][$usesoda to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usesoda][$usesoda to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usesoda][$usesoda to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usesoda][$usesoda to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usesoda][$usesoda to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usesoda == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usesoda][$usesoda to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usesoda][$usesoda to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usesoda][$usesoda to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'toad'>>CHUK: The carbonation could inflate it, and that would be animal cruelty. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usesoda][$usesoda to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usesoda][$usesoda to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usesoda][$usesoda to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usesoda][$usesoda to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usesoda][$usesoda to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'deck'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usesoda == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usesoda][$usesoda to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usesoda][$usesoda to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usesoda][$usesoda to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usesoda][$usesoda to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usesoda][$usesoda to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'swords'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usesoda][$usesoda to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usesoda][$usesoda to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Want some soda? MECHANIC: Is it... cold, ice cold? CHUK: Mmm... No, room temperature. MECHANIC: It won't... huff... help then. <<elseif $usesoda == 'valves'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'valves2'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usesoda][$usesoda to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usesoda][$usesoda to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usesoda][$usesoda to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usesoda == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usesoda == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usesoda == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usesoda][$usesoda to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usesoda][$usesoda to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usesoda][$usesoda to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine M'zzur Soda <<if $sodawith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: It's a screw-on cap, but that doesn't mean I need a screwdriver to remove it. <<elseif $sodawith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'toad'>>CHUK: The carbonation could inflate it, and that would be animal cruelty. <<elseif $sodawith == 'paint'>>CHUK: There's enough gold in this bottle's design. <<elseif $sodawith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'card'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on that. <<elseif $sodawith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on my beautiful portrait. <<elseif $sodawith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This guy doesn't want a drink. <<elseif $sodawith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'book'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on the book. <<elseif $sodawith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on the book. <<elseif $sodawith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $sodawith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinesoda][$sodawith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$sodawith to 'none']]

A piece of white elastic band, about one metre long. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Elastic band <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useband == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'steve'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'ena'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'girl'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'quiks'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useband][$useband to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useband][$useband to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useband][$useband to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useband][$useband to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useband][$useband to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useband == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'janitor'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useband][$useband to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useband][$useband to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useband][$useband to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|useband][$useband to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useband == 'librarian'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'robot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useband][$useband to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useband][$useband to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useband][$useband to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useband == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'painter'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useband][$useband to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useband][$useband to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useband][$useband to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useband][$useband to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useband == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useband][$useband to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useband == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'quik'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useband][$useband to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useband][$useband to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useband == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useband][$useband to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useband == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'guard'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'grate'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useband][$useband to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|useband][$useband to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|useband][$useband to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useband == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'leeks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|useband][$useband to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useband][$useband to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|useband][$useband to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|useband][$useband to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|useband][$useband to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useband == 'baron'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'bearded'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useband][$useband to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|useband][$useband to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|useband][$useband to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $useband == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'toad'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|useband][$useband to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useband][$useband to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useband == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useband][$useband to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useband][$useband to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useband][$useband to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useband == 'deck'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to put it back in the bin. <<elseif $useband == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|useband][$useband to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|useband][$useband to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useband][$useband to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useband][$useband to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useband][$useband to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useband == 'swords'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|useband][$useband to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useband][$useband to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useband == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $useband == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useband][$useband to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useband][$useband to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useband][$useband to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $useband == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useband == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useband == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|useband][$useband to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|useband][$useband to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|useband][$useband to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Elastic band <<if $bandwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $bandwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $bandwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: It stays on my head without an elastic band. <<elseif $bandwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bandwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combineband][$bandwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combineband][$bandwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combineband][$bandwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineband][$bandwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combineband][$bandwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combineband][$bandwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combineband][$bandwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combineband][$bandwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combineband][$bandwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combineband][$bandwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combineband][$bandwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combineband][$bandwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|mopwithband]] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combineband][$bandwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combineband][$bandwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineband][$bandwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineband][$bandwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combineband][$bandwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combineband][$bandwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineband][$bandwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineband][$bandwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combineband][$bandwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$bandwith to 'none']]

A fake white beard made of a mop head and a piece of elastic band. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Fake beard <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'steve'>>CHUK: He wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'ena'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'girl'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'quiks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usebeard][$usebeard to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|usebeard][$usebeard to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usebeard][$usebeard to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usebeard][$usebeard to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usebeard][$usebeard to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'janitor'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: It wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usebeard][$usebeard to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usebeard][$usebeard to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usebeard][$usebeard to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usebeard][$usebeard to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'librarian'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'robot'>>CHUK: It's a terrifying combat robot. The last thing it needs is a goofy fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usebeard][$usebeard to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usebeard][$usebeard to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usebeard][$usebeard to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'painter'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'madame'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usebeard][$usebeard to 'plant']] <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|usebeard][$usebeard to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|usebeard][$usebeard to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usebeard][$usebeard to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usebeard][$usebeard to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'quik'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usebeard][$usebeard to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usebeard][$usebeard to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usebeard][$usebeard to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'guard'>>CHUK: He wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'grate'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usebeard][$usebeard to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usebeard][$usebeard to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usebeard][$usebeard to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'largepot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'leeks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usebeard][$usebeard to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usebeard][$usebeard to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usebeard][$usebeard to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usebeard][$usebeard to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usebeard][$usebeard to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'baron'>>CHUK: He's got a moustache already. I'm not giving him my beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'bearded'>>CHUK: No... She's already got a beard. And a much nicer one. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usebeard][$usebeard to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usebeard][$usebeard to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usebeard][$usebeard to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: He wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'toad'>>CHUK: It looks just right for a toad and doesn't need a fake mop beard. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usebeard][$usebeard to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usebeard][$usebeard to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usebeard][$usebeard to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usebeard][$usebeard to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usebeard][$usebeard to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'deck'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usebeard == 'madame'>>CHUK: She wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $act > 2>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usebeard][$usebeard to 'deck']] <</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usebeard][$usebeard to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usebeard][$usebeard to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usebeard][$usebeard to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usebeard][$usebeard to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'swords'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usebeard][$usebeard to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usebeard][$usebeard to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: He wouldn't look good with a fake beard. <<elseif $usebeard == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usebeard == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usebeard][$usebeard to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usebeard][$usebeard to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usebeard][$usebeard to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'statue'>>CHUK: It could only improve the statue, but I don't want to waste my carefully crafted beard on this gold monstrosity. <<elseif $usebeard == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usebeard][$usebeard to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usebeard][$usebeard to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usebeard][$usebeard to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usebeard][$usebeard to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|usebeard][$usebeard to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'rex'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usebeard][$usebeard to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'ship'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usebeard][$usebeard to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebeard == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebeard == 'posterright'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usebeard][$usebeard to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usebeard][$usebeard to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usebeard][$usebeard to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $usebeard == 'guards'>>CHUK: What a ridiculous idea. <<elseif $usebeard == 'chairperor'>>CHUK: I can't defeat him with a fake beard. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|usebeard][$usebeard to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|usebeard][$usebeard to 'chairperor']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Fake beard <<if $beardwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $beardwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: It looks just right for a toad and doesn't need a fake mop beard. <<elseif $beardwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $beardwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'card'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'portrait'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: It wouldn't look like a Quik head with a mop beard. <<elseif $beardwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: The pigeon's wearing a helmet, so it can't put the fake beard on. <<elseif $beardwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $beardwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $portrait>>[[Personalised tarot card|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'portrait']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>>\ <<if $card>>[[Tarot card|combinebeard][$beardwith to 'card']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$beardwith to 'none']]

<<set $beardon to false>>\ You take off the fake beard. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

<<if $room == 'westerncorridor' && $act ==3 && $raxlamet>>You quickly put on the fake beard. <<set $beardon to true>>\ [[Return to inventory|inventory]] <<else>>\ CHUK: I see no reason to put it on now. [[Return to inventory|inventory]] <</if>>\

Use Personalised tarot card <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'steve'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to him. <<elseif $useportrait == 'ena'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to her. <<elseif $useportrait == 'girl'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to her. <<elseif $useportrait == 'quiks'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to them. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useportrait][$useportrait to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useportrait][$useportrait to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useportrait][$useportrait to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useportrait][$useportrait to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useportrait][$useportrait to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useportrait == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to him. <<elseif $useportrait == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useportrait][$useportrait to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useportrait][$useportrait to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useportrait][$useportrait to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to her. <<elseif $useportrait == 'robot'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to it. <<elseif $useportrait == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useportrait][$useportrait to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useportrait][$useportrait to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useportrait][$useportrait to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'painter'>>CHUK: I'm not giving it back! <<elseif $useportrait == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: I don't want to ruin my beautiful portrait. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useportrait][$useportrait to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useportrait][$useportrait to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useportrait][$useportrait to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useportrait][$useportrait to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'quik'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useportrait][$useportrait to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useportrait][$useportrait to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useportrait][$useportrait to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useportrait == 'guard'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to him. <<elseif $useportrait == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useportrait][$useportrait to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|useportrait][$useportrait to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|useportrait][$useportrait to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useportrait == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useportrait == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'leeks'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useportrait == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|useportrait][$useportrait to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useportrait][$useportrait to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|useportrait][$useportrait to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|useportrait][$useportrait to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|useportrait][$useportrait to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'baron'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to him. <<elseif $useportrait == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useportrait][$useportrait to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|useportrait][$useportrait to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to him. <<elseif $useportrait == 'toad'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|useportrait][$useportrait to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useportrait][$useportrait to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useportrait == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useportrait][$useportrait to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useportrait][$useportrait to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useportrait][$useportrait to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw away my beautiful portrait. <<elseif $useportrait == 'madame'>>CHUK: I'm not sure I want to show her that I had one of her cards... improved. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|cardscam]] [[Use with crystal ball|useportrait][$useportrait to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useportrait][$useportrait to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useportrait][$useportrait to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useportrait][$useportrait to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'swords'>>CHUK: I don't think you can enchant swords to be less dangerous with a tarot card. <<elseif $useportrait == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|useportrait][$useportrait to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useportrait][$useportrait to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useportrait == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I'm not giving my portrait to him. <<elseif $useportrait == 'valves'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useportrait == 'valves2'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useportrait][$useportrait to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useportrait][$useportrait to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useportrait][$useportrait to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Personalised tarot card <<if $portraitwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I'd never destroy this work of art! <<elseif $portraitwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to spray golden paint all over my beautiful portrait. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on my beautiful portrait. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $portraitwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineportrait][$portraitwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$portraitwith to 'none']]

A tarot card named "The Moon". It shows a brilliant full moon shining over a scene with alien animals. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Tarot card <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usecard == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usecard == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that back. <<elseif $usecard == 'quiks'>>CHUK: I don't think they want that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usecard][$usecard to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usecard][$usecard to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usecard][$usecard to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usecard][$usecard to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usecard][$usecard to 'quiks']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecard == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usecard == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usecard][$usecard to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usecard][$usecard to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usecard][$usecard to 'bar']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usecard == 'robot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecard == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usecard][$usecard to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usecard][$usecard to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usecard][$usecard to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usecard][$usecard to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|paintportrait]] [[Use with waterfall|usecard][$usecard to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usecard][$usecard to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usecard][$usecard to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usecard][$usecard to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usecard][$usecard to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'guard'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecard == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usecard][$usecard to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usecard][$usecard to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usecard][$usecard to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'smallpot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'largepot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'chefbot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecard == 'leeks'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with small pot|usecard][$usecard to 'smallpot']] <</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usecard][$usecard to 'largepot']] <<if $soupdone>>\ <<else>> [[Use with Chef-bot|usecard][$usecard to 'chefbot']] <</if>>\ <<if $leekspicked>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with large leeks|usecard][$usecard to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ [[Use with wilted carrots|usecard][$usecard to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usecard == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usecard][$usecard to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usecard][$usecard to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared == true && $toaddeployed == false>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ <<if $usecard == 'maintenanceman'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecard == 'toad'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with maintenance man|usecard][$usecard to 'maintenanceman']] <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usecard][$usecard to 'toad']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]]<</if>> <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usecard][$usecard to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usecard][$usecard to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usecard][$usecard to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'deck'>>CHUK: I didn't steal it just to put it back in the deck like this. <<elseif $usecard == 'crystal'>>CHUK: I'm no expert, but I don't think you use a crystal ball to read cards. <<elseif $usecard == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<elseif $usecard == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't want to let her know I borrowed that card. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with deck of cards|usecard][$usecard to 'deck']] [[Use with crystal ball|usecard][$usecard to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usecard][$usecard to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usecard][$usecard to 'bin']] <<if $madamein>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usecard][$usecard to 'madame']] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'swords'>>CHUK: I don't think you can enchant swords to be less dangerous with a tarot card. <<elseif $usecard == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $swordsswapped>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with Ochra's swords|usecard][$usecard to 'swords']] <</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usecard][$usecard to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usecard == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usecard == 'valves'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecard == 'valves2'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usecard][$usecard to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usecard][$usecard to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usecard][$usecard to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Tarot card <<if $cardwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $cardwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'leaf'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'toad'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $cardwith == 'leeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'goldenleeks'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on that. <<elseif $cardwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cardwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinecard][$cardwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinecard][$cardwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinecard][$cardwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinecard][$cardwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenleeks>>[[Golden leeks|combinecard][$cardwith to 'goldenleeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $toad>>[[Korrian Horned Toad|combinecard][$cardwith to 'toad']] <</if>>\ <<if $leeks>>[[Large leeks|combinecard][$cardwith to 'leeks']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinecard][$cardwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinecard][$cardwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinecard][$cardwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinecard][$cardwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaf>>[[Reddish leaf|combinecard][$cardwith to 'leaf']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinecard][$cardwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinecard][$cardwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$cardwith to 'none']]

A tarot card showing a $cardcolor Gyffid in a $pose pose and a brilliant full moon. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

CHUK: No thanks. I hate cinnamon. [[Back|inventory]]

<<set $sodashaken to true>>\ You give the bottle a good shake. [[Back|inventory]]

<<if $sodashaken && $toaddeployed && $room == 'guestwing'>><<set $sodashaken to false>><<set $maintenancemanscared to true>>\ You get close to the slumbering toad and open the shaken bottle of soda, which emits a loud, prolonged hiss and spits out some brownish foam. The maintenance man jumps, startled, and turns back. Blood drains from his face as he stares at the toad sleeping on the floor. MAINTENANCE MAN: Holy crap! Did you hear that? This… this is not a Korrian Horned Toad! It's a friggin' Rokkian Hissing Toad, and it's READY TO ATTACK! I'm outta here! He drops the can of paint and runs away, screaming. You pick up the can, which has rolled a small distance and stopped upon touching the toad. The toad is still sleeping peacefully. CHUK: I'd better take this, or it might get lost. <<set $paint to true>>\ Item received: Gold spray paint [[Continue|guestwing]] <<elseif $sodashaken>>\ <<set $sodashaken to false>>\ As you open the bottle, there is a loud, long hissing noise and some brownish foam drips out. CHUK: Wow, this soda really is fizzy! [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\ You open the bottle. CHUK: Smells of cinnamon… yuck. [[Back|inventory]] <</if>>

<<set $leafadded to true>><<set $leaf to false>>\ CHUK: Just a little seasoning... You make sure the Chef-bot isn't looking and drop the leaf into the pot. It quickly sinks into the thick soup. Some red bubbles appear on the surface, then it smoothes again. Item lost: Reddish leaf CHUK: Well, I think the soup's ready! [[Continue|kitchen]]

<<set $grateremoved to true>>\ You remove the screws and take off the cover. <<if $guardscared>><<else>>\ You nervously glance at the guard in golden armour as you do this, but he doesn't notice or doesn't care.<</if>> The vent is now open, an it's large enough for you to easily fit in. [[Continue|northwesterncorridor]]

<<set $questwatch to false>><<set $watch to false>><<set $watchgiven to true>>\ <<if $act > 2>><<set $needcape to true>>\<</if>>\ You stop one of the Quik and dangle the golden watch in front of its face. CHUK: Will that do for an electronic brain? The Quik hops excitedly. QUIK: Yes, yes, very good! Powerful brain in this small watch! Give to Quik, please? CHUK: Sure, it's yours. QUIK: Very much thank you! Quik very much in debt. Um… please no angry, Quik maybe still need help later? Maybe you come later and see, please? You hand over the watch, which the Quik carefully pockets before hurrying away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

<<set $toad to false>><<set $toaddeployed to true>>\ Item lost: Korrian Horned Toad You put the Korrian Horned Toad on the marble floor, just behind the maintenance man, and tap him on the back to get his attention. MAINTENANCE MAN: What now?! CHUK: Hey, look! A toad! MAINTENANCE MAN: Yeah, looks like a Korrian Horned Toad to me. That stupid pet vending machine must have gone haywire and now it's spitting stuff everywhere. CHUK: Isn't that toad... dangerous or something? MAINTENANCE MAN: What, dangerous? A Korrian Horned Toad? Don't make me laugh! Does it look bloodthirsty to you, you wuss? [[Continue|guestwing]]

<<set $swordsswapped to true>><<set $goldenleeks to false>>\ You carefully pull all four swords out and bury them deep in the rummage in the corner of the room. CHUK: Well, the leeks' ends do look like those hilts. Let's just hope the Princess won't find time to closely examine her swords before the match… Item lost: Golden leeks You replace the swords with four golden leeks. You're just about done when the door opens. You jump, startled, and so does Bob who apparently didn't expect to find anyone here. BOB: What are you doing here, Quik? Don't you have any work to do? No? That's… actually great! In that case, you can take those swords and return them to Princess Ochra. She's waiting in the guest area, right behind the barrier. I would do that myself, but I'm... I'm very busy right now. Oh, stop staring at me, just do as I say! Boy, if Steve knew even the Quik don't want to listen to me, he would make fun of me to the end of my days… [[Go deliver the swords|swapswords2]]

<<set $portrait to false>><<set $cardscam to true>>\ MADAME GOLGADUL: Please, don't touch the cards. You could imbue them with negative energy, or, even worse, leave sticky fingerprints. [[I'm very sorry! Oh – I think you left the tap on. I can hear water running.|scam1]]

<<set $beard to true>><<set $band to false>><<set $mop to false>>\ The unused mop head looks a lot like a long, white beard. By attaching an elastic band, you obtain a fake beard you can wear. Item lost: Elastic band Item lost: Mop head Item received: Fake beard [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

<<set $leeks to false>><<set $goldenleeks to true>>\ You thoroughly cover each of the four leeks with golden paint. Item lost: Large leeks Item received: Golden leeks CHUK: Without a careful inspection, no one would guess these are vegetables! Plus, now they look like they are worth a small fortune! [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

STEVE: You know I can't really help you, Chuk. But be positive! Princess Ochra seems to have been very lucky so far – she once said cards had promised her many victories, or something to that effect – but maybe her luck is about to turn? [[Back|talktosteve]]

<<set $questwatch to true>><<set $needwatch to false>>\ QUIK: Quik sorry to bother you! No want you to waste time! But you find electronic brain anyway, maybe? Bring it to Quik then, please! It turns back and runs away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

<<set $questwatch to true>><<set $needwatch to false>>\ QUIK: Quik thank you much! Very, very appreciated! You find electronic brain, you bring it to Quik, please! It turns back and runs away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

<<set $questwatch to false>><<set $watch to false>><<set $watchgiven to true>>\ <<if $act > 2>><<set $needcape to true>>\<</if>>\ You pull out the golden watch and show it to the Quik. CHUK: Will that do for an electronic brain? The Quik inspects the watch and nods excitedly. QUIK: Yes, it very, very good! Much power and small, very good! CHUK: Take it. It's yours. The Quik carefully pockets the watch. QUIK: Thank you so very much! You good friend to Quik, your help very great. Quik use the electronic brain well! Um… if Quik need more things later, can ask for help again, please? You come and see Quik? [[Back|quikroom]]

ENA: Are you going to fight her? Oh my, this is going to be a spectacle! I used to always cheer for Princess Ochra, but now… I don't know. I wouldn't mind if you won, Mr. Chuk! You're a very nice person; the Princess is much more… reserved, so to say. Yes, I'd like you to win, though I don't know how you would do that. You know, she's very strong. And fast. And determined. And how she wields these swords! ... ENA: Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't want to discourage you! I'm sure you have something up your sleeve, right, Mr. Chuk? [[Back|enaquestions]]

GIRL: It's in that corridor – just go through the north-western exit from the lobby. It's a big, blue booth – can't miss it! [[Thanks! I'll be going now.|mainlobby]]

<<set $questwatch to true>><<set $needwatch to false>>\ QUIK: Quik no want bother you! But maybe you find electronic brain anyway? Then please, bring it to Quik! [[Continue|quikroom]]

<<set $questwatch to true>><<set $needwatch to false>>\ QUIK: Quik very much obliged! You find an electronic brain, you bring it to Quik fast! Please, this important! [[Continue|quikroom]]

<<if $madameappear>><<set $madameappear to false>><<set $madamein to true>><</if>>\ <<set $room to 'westerncorridor'>>\ <center>Main deck western corridor</center> The golden walls of this corridor look freshly painted. A [[middle-aged male human|baron]] is standing by the wall, twitching his moustache. <<if $meetbearded == false && $act == 3>>\ A [[grey-skinned alien with a long white beard|raxla]] is sitting on a cushioned bench by the wall. <</if>>\ There are two doors here. The first is labelled <<if $beardon>>"[[Conservatory|conservatorytakeoffbeard]]"<<elseif $act == 4>>"[[Conservatory|conservatoryact4]]"<<else>>"[[Conservatory|conservatory]]"<</if>>, and the other <<if $beardon>>"[[Madame Golgadul – Fortune Teller|fortunebeardoff]]"<<elseif $fortuneroomagain>>"[[Madame Golgadul – Fortune Teller|fortuneroom]]"<<else>>"[[Madame Golgadul – Fortune Teller|fortuneintro]]"<</if>>. There's also a [[blue booth|petshop]] here, with "The Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop" written on it. <<if $meetbearded>><<set $meetbearded to false>>\ Walking down the corridor, you notice a [[tall, bald, grey-skinned alien with a long white beard|raxla]]. The alien is sitting on a cushioned bench by the wall, impatiently tapping a foot. A small book in a red cover is lying on the bench next to the alien. <</if>>\ <<if $act == 4 && $raxlanomore>>\ <<elseif $act ==4>><<set $raxlanomore to true>>\ You notice that Headmistress Raxla is no longer here. You wonder if she found her students. <</if>>\ The corridor gently curves around the arena space, leading <<if $beardon>>[[north|northbeardoff]]<<else>>[[north|northwesterncorridor]]<</if>> and <<if $beardon>>[[south-east to the main lobby|beardofflobby]]<<else>>[[south-east to the main lobby|mainlobby]]<</if>>. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<if $baronmet == false>>\ <<set $baronmet to true>>\ <<if $color == 'grey'>><<set $barongrey to true>><</if>>\ <<if $color == 'green'>><<set $barongreen to true>><</if>>\ <<if $color == 'red'>><<set $baronred to true>><</if>>\ <<if $color == 'blue'>><<set $baronblue to true>><</if>>\ The human is, inexplicably, wearing a beige safari uniform complete with a hat, and a white scarf. His bushy grey moustache and furrowed brow give him an aura of seriousness. When he notices you, however, he can't hide his excitement. MAN: Hallo zere! Pardon me, but you must be a traveller from a distant planet? I have never zeen one of your race before. Allow me to introduce myzelf: I am Baron Alphonse von Schmerzkopf, an explorer, writer and naturalist. Can you zpare me a moment? I believe you could greatly assist me vith my new book. <<if $baronsbook>>\ [[How is the work on your book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] <<else>>\ [[What book are you writing?|baronbook]] <</if>>\ [[What do you think about the tournament?|barontournament]] <<if $act == 2>>\ [[What do you know about Princess Ochra?|baronochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[What do you know about the Cybercricket?|baroncricket]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Are you a real aristocrat?|aristocrat]] [[Sorry, but I must get going.|westerncorridor]] <<else>>\ <<if $color=="red" && $baronred == false>> <<set $baronred to true>>\ Baron von Schmerzkopf is looking at you with excitement and surprise. You realise he doesn't recognise you. SCHMERZKOPF: Hallo! I believe ve haven't met. I am Baron Alphonse von Schmerzkopf, an explorer, writer and naturalist. I am compiling a book on aliens of ze Galaxy, and I have never zeen a person of your race before. Vould you like to be interviewed for ze book? I vould very much appreciate your help! <<if $baronsbook>>\ [[How is the work on your book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] <<else>>\ [[What book are you writing?|baronbook]] <</if>>\ [[What do you think about the tournament?|barontournament]] <<if $act == 2>>\ [[What do you know about Princess Ochra?|baronochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[What do you know about the Cybercricket?|baroncricket]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Are you a real aristocrat?|aristocrat]] [[Sorry, but I must get going.|westerncorridor]] <<elseif $color=="blue" && $baronblue == false>> <<set $baronblue to true>>\ Baron von Schmerzkopf is looking at you with excitement and surprise. You realise he doesn't recognise you. SCHMERZKOPF: Hallo! I believe ve haven't met. I am Baron Alphonse von Schmerzkopf, an explorer, writer and naturalist. I am compiling a book on aliens of ze Galaxy, and I have never zeen a person of your race before. Vould you like to be interviewed for ze book? I vould very much appreciate your help! <<if $baronsbook>>\ [[How is the work on your book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] <<else>>\ [[What book are you writing?|baronbook]] <</if>>\ [[What do you think about the tournament?|barontournament]] <<if $act == 2>>\ [[What do you know about Princess Ochra?|baronochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[What do you know about the Cybercricket?|baroncricket]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Are you a real aristocrat?|aristocrat]] [[Sorry, but I must get going.|westerncorridor]] <<elseif $color=="grey" && $barongrey == false>> <<set $barongrey to true>>\ Baron von Schmerzkopf is looking at you with excitement and surprise. You realise he doesn't recognise you. SCHMERZKOPF: Hallo! I believe ve haven't met. I am Baron Alphonse von Schmerzkopf, an explorer, writer and naturalist. I am compiling a book on aliens of ze Galaxy, and I have never zeen a person of your race before. Vould you like to be interviewed for ze book? I vould very much appreciate your help! <<if $baronsbook>>\ [[How is the work on your book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] <<else>>\ [[What book are you writing?|baronbook]] <</if>>\ [[What do you think about the tournament?|barontournament]] <<if $act == 2>>\ [[What do you know about Princess Ochra?|baronochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[What do you know about the Cybercricket?|baroncricket]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Are you a real aristocrat?|aristocrat]] [[Sorry, but I must get going.|westerncorridor]] <<elseif $color=="green" && $barongreen == false>> <<set $barongreen to true>>\ Baron von Schmerzkopf is looking at you with excitement and surprise. You realise he doesn't recognise you. SCHMERZKOPF: Hallo! I believe ve haven't met. I am Baron Alphonse von Schmerzkopf, an explorer, writer and naturalist. I am compiling a book on aliens of ze Galaxy, and I have never zeen a person of your race before. Vould you like to be interviewed for ze book? I vould very much appreciate your help! <<if $baronsbook>>\ [[How is the work on your book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] <<else>>\ [[What book are you writing?|baronbook]] <</if>>\ [[What do you think about the tournament?|barontournament]] <<if $act == 2>>\ [[What do you know about Princess Ochra?|baronochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[What do you know about the Cybercricket?|baroncricket]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Are you a real aristocrat?|aristocrat]] [[Sorry, but I must get going.|westerncorridor]] <<else>>\ SCHMERZKOPF: Velcome back, mein friend! <<if $beardon>>I zee you've grovn yourzelf quite a handzome beard!<</if>> <<if $baronsbook>>\ [[How is the work on your book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] <<else>>\ [[What book are you writing?|baronbook]] <</if>>\ [[What do you think about the tournament?|barontournament]] <<if $act == 2>>\ [[What do you know about Princess Ochra?|baronochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[What do you know about the Cybercricket?|baroncricket]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Are you a real aristocrat?|aristocrat]] [[Sorry, but I must get going.|westerncorridor]] <</if>>\ <</if>>\

You approach the booth. There is a metal platform on the front panel,<<if $boxinbooth>> on which an empty icebox is placed,<</if>> and a big screen. You touch the screen and a number of options appear on it. Welcome to the Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop! Please select an option. [[About this store|aboutshop]] [[Pets|buypets]] [[Pet foods|buyfood]] [[Accessories|buyacc]] [[Walk away from the booth|westerncorridor]]

<<set $room to 'fortuneroom'>>\ <center>Fortune teller's room</center> <<if $act > 2 && $fortuneact3 == false>><<set $fortuneact3 to true>> You enter the room. Madame Golgadul is not here, and these time there are no sounds coming from the bathroom. <</if>>\ <<if $madamein && $madamemet>>\ Heavy, dark red curtains are hung and draped around this room, shaping a circular space in the centre. There's a round table in the middle of the room. On the table there's a [[deck of large cards|tarotdeck]], a [[milky crystal ball|crystalball]], a [[leather-bound notebook|madamenotes]] and a [[knitting basket|knitting]]. There are two chairs by the table. One is occupied by [[Madame Golgadul|talkmadame]], who's busy knitting. To the side there is a wooden bench. Under the bench there's a [[wicker bin|bin]]. In the back there is a closed [[wooden door|bathroom]]. On the opposite side of the room there is the [[exit to the corridor|westerncorridor]]. <<elseif $madamein>><<set $madamemet to true>>\ Heavy, dark red curtains are hung and draped around this room, shaping a circular space in the centre. There's a round table in the middle of the room. On the table there's a [[deck of large cards|tarotdeck]], a [[milky crystal ball|crystalball]], a [[leather-bound notebook|madamenotes]] and a [[knitting basket|knitting]]. There are two chairs by the table. One is occupied by [[Madame Golgadul|talkmadame]], the fortune teller, who's busy knitting, but raises her eyes as you enter. To the side there is a wooden bench. Under the bench there's a [[wicker bin|bin]]. In the back there is a closed [[wooden door|bathroom]]. On the opposite side of the room there is the [[exit to the corridor|westerncorridor]]. <<else>>\ Heavy, dark red curtains are hung and draped around this room, shaping a circular space in the centre. There's a round table in the middle of the room. <<if $act < 3>>On the table there's a [[deck of large cards|tarotdeck]], a [[milky crystal ball|crystalball]] and a [[leather-bound notebook|madamenotes]].<<else>>On the table there's a [[milky crystal ball|crystalball]] and a [[leather-bound notebook|madamenotes]]; the tarot deck is nowhere to be seen.<</if>> There are two chairs by the table. To the side there is a wooden bench. On the bench there's a [[knitting basket|knitting]] and underneath it there's a [[wicker bin|bin]]. In the back there is a closed [[wooden door|bathroom]]. On the opposite side of the room there is the [[exit to the corridor|westerncorridor]]. <</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $room to 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <center>Main deck north-western corridor</center> You stand in front of a <<if $guardscared>><<if $penthouseagain>>[[magnificent staircase|penthouse]]<<else>>[[magnificent staircase|penthouseintro]]<</if>><<else>>[[magnificent staircase|guardblock]]<</if>>, brilliantly lit by crystal lamps. <<if $guardscared>>\<<else>>The passage is guarded by a [[giant man in golden armour|guardtalk]], armed with a golden gun.<</if>> There is a fancy-looking [[vending machine|vending]] here. On the eastern wall, just above the ground, there is a <<if $grateremoved>>[[vent opening|venttunnel]]<<else>>[[vent opening|ventblocked]]<</if>>. <<if $grateremoved>>\<<else>>It is covered by a [[metal grate|tryremovegrate]].<</if>> The corridor leads [[south|westerncorridor]] and [[west to the Guest Wing|guestwing]]. There's also a [[side corridor, leading east|northerncorridor]], here. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $baronsbook to true>>\ SCHMERZKOPF: Oh, just a little zing called Baron Alphonse von Schmerzkopf's Definitive and Complete Compendium of Knowledge on ze Alien Races of ze Universe, Gazered and Compiled by Himzelf. I have been vorking on it for ten years now, travelling ze Galaxy and learning firsthand about different cultures, braving many dangers and using my vits to the utmost to gazer material! Once my book is complete, it vill render that horrible Gallord'z obzolete! [[How is the work on the book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Vell, I vas very surprised ven I learned His Majesty vas going to organize a fighting tournament! But I appreciate zat he did it for us, the nobles, even zough he dislikes fighting zo much. I agree, it is not zomething for us high-born to participate in, but vatching zis kind of sports has a long tradition! [[Back|baronquestions]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Vaat? Mein friend, you hurt me viz such accusation! My lineage is as auzentic as my accent! [[Well, that settles it.|baronquestions]] [[Your accent is outrageously fake.|fakeaccent]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Anything else you vant to ask me, mein friend? <<if $baronsbook>>\ [[How is the work on your book going?|workonbook]] [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] <<else>>\ [[What book are you writing?|baronbook]] <</if>>\ [[What do you think about the tournament?|barontournament]] <<if $act == 2>>\ [[What do you know about Princess Ochra?|baronochra]] <<elseif $act == 3>>[[What do you know about the Cybercricket?|baroncricket]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Are you a real aristocrat?|aristocrat]] [[Sorry, but I must get going.|westerncorridor]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Zat majestic-looking Chelac woman? I've seen her fight in ze arena. A true zight to behold! Zo adept viz her swords! Zo determined! I had a Chelac bodyguard once; he used to zay zat "to defeat a varrior you must break zeir blades and zeir spirit." I cannot imagine anyone breaking ze Princess! [[Back|baronquestions]]

The Baron's face turns crimson. SCHMERZKOPF: Whaaat? How dare you, you little $color rascal! That's outrageous! You don't know anything about human accents or aristocracy, you annoying alien smartass! The Baron takes a deep breath and slowly composes himself. SCHMERZKOPF: Pardon me. I do not know vat came over me. Let us never touch upon zis topic again. [[Back|baronquestions]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Qvite vell, qvite vell, zank you for asking. Ever zince I announced the 100 MEC prize for any alien of a new and unknovn race who tells me a bit about zer planet and culture, I've been flooded viz rezponses! [[How can I help you with your book?|helpbook]] [[Back|baron]]

<<if $color=='grey' && $bookgrey==false && $startbookgrey==false>><<set $startbookgrey to true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Vell, since you are obviously a member of a new and mysterious race even I haven't heard ov bevore, you could help greatly by simply telling me a little about your planet and culture. Naturally, you von't be helping for free. Von Schmerzkopfs know how to express zer gratitude! I'll pay you 100 MEC for your assistance<<if $redbonus>>. I vould offer my pocket vatch as a bonus for an ezpecially interezting story, but I've already given it to an alien from a volcanic planet!<<else>>, and if your story is zomething really extraordinary, I'll even zrow in a nice bonus – my advanced pocket vatch!<</if>> [[All right, about my planet…|planetgrey]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='grey' && $bookgrey==false && $startbookgrey==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: You can help by telling me a little about your home planet and your race. Are you ready? Can I start taking notes? [[All right, about my planet…|planetgrey]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='grey' && $bookgrey==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Oh, you've helped me enough already! Nov I have to revork my notes, put everything in ze manuscript. Believe me, I – almost – have a bestzeller in my hands! [[Back|baron]] <<elseif $color=='green' && $bookgreen==false && $startbookgreen==false>><<set $startbookgreen to true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Vell, since you are obviously a member of a new and mysterious race even I haven't heard ov bevore, you could help greatly by simply telling me a little about your planet and culture. Naturally, you von't be helping for free. Von Schmerzkopfs know how to express zer gratitude! I'll pay you 100 MEC for your assistance<<if $redbonus>>. I vould offer my pocket vatch as a bonus for an ezpecially interezting story, but I've already given it to an alien from a volcanic planet!<<else>>, and if your story is zomething really extraordinary, I'll even zrow in a nice bonus – my advanced pocket vatch!<</if>> [[All right, about my planet…|planetgreen]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='green' && $bookgreen==false && $startbookgreen==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: You can help by telling me a little about your home planet and your race. Are you ready? Can I start taking notes? [[All right, about my planet…|planetgreen]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='green' && $bookgreen==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Oh, you've helped me enough already! Nov I have to revork my notes, put everything in ze manuscript. Believe me, I – almost – have a bestzeller in my hands! [[Back|baron]] <<elseif $color=='red' && $bookred==false && $startbookred==false>><<set $startbookred to true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Vell, since you are obviously a member of a new and mysterious race even I haven't heard ov bevore, you could help greatly by simply telling me a little about your planet and culture. Naturally, you von't be helping for free. Von Schmerzkopfs know how to express zer gratitude! I'll pay you 100 MEC for your assistance, and if your story is zomething really extraordinary, I'll even zrow in a nice bonus – my advanced pocket vatch! [[All right, about my planet…|planetred]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='red' && $bookred==false && $startbookred==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: You can help by telling me a little about your home planet and your race. Are you ready? Can I start taking notes? [[All right, about my planet…|planetred]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='red' && $bookred==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Oh, you've helped me enough already! Nov I have to revork my notes, put everything in ze manuscript. Believe me, I – almost – have a bestzeller in my hands! [[Back|baron]] <<elseif $color=='blue' && $bookblue==false && $startbookblue==false>><<set $startbookblue to true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Vell, since you are obviously a member of a new and mysterious race even I haven't heard ov bevore, you could help greatly by simply telling me a little about your planet and culture. Naturally, you von't be helping for free. Von Schmerzkopfs know how to express zer gratitude! I'll pay you 100 MEC for your assistance<<if $redbonus>>. I vould offer my pocket vatch as a bonus for an ezpecially interezting story, but I've already given it to an alien from a volcanic planet!<<else>>, and if your story is zomething really extraordinary, I'll even zrow in a nice bonus – my advanced pocket vatch!<</if>> [[All right, about my planet…|planetblue]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='blue' && $bookblue==false && $startbookblue==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: You can help by telling me a little about your home planet and your race. Are you ready? Can I start taking notes? [[All right, about my planet…|planetblue]] [[Sorry, I need some time to think about it. I'll be back.|bookbeback]] <<elseif $color=='blue' && $bookblue==true>>SCHMERZKOPF: Oh, you've helped me enough already! Nov I have to revork my notes, put everything in ze manuscript. Believe me, I – almost – have a bestzeller in my hands! [[Back|baron]] <<else>><</if>>

SCHMERZKOPF: Don't say a vord! I know! Ah-ha – you didn't expect zat, did you? Vell, with my years-long expertise it's no vonder I can deduce zome facts about a planet based on its inhabitants' appearance. Your grey skin means you zurely must come from a barren, rocky vorld. Am I right? Oh – your expression tells me everyzing! Of course I'm right. Vell, Vell. Now, vat can you tell me about your rocky planet? [[It's big, and grey, and full of rocks. Nothing too exciting.|planetgrey2]] [[Come to think of it, I need some time, to phrase everything nicely.|bookbeback]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Of course, of course! No hurry! But please, come back once you have zome material for me. I shall vait here! [[Continue|westerncorridor]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Don't say a vord! I know! Ah-ha – you didn't expect zat, did you? Vell, with my years-long expertise it's no vonder I can deduce zome facts about a planet based on its inhabitants' appearance. Your green skin means you zurely must come from a lush, fertile, forest vorld. Am I right? Oh – your expression tells me everyzing! Of course I'm right. Vell, Vell. Now, vat can you tell me about your forest planet? [[Trees, trees everywhere.|planetgreen2]] [[Come to think of it, I need some time, to phrase everything nicely.|bookbeback]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Don't say a vord! I know! Ah-ha – you didn't expect zat, did you? Vell, with my years-long expertise it's no vonder I can deduce zome facts about a planet based on its inhabitants' appearance. Your red skin means you zurely must come from a hot, volcanic vorld. Am I right? Oh – your expression tells me everyzing! Of course I'm right. Vell, Vell. Now, vat can you tell me about your volcanic planet? [[Well, we never complain about cold weather. And there's lots of… volcanoes, and lava, and… stuff.|planetred2]] <<if $firestory>>\ [[My race has this story about the volcano goddess, Oamameo…|redbonus]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Come to think of it, I need some time, to phrase everything nicely.|bookbeback]]

SCHMERZKOPF: Don't say a vord! I know! Ah-ha – you didn't expect zat, did you? Vell, with my years-long expertise it's no vonder I can deduce zome facts about a planet based on its inhabitants' appearance. Your blue skin means you zurely must come from a cold, icy vorld. Am I right? Oh – your expression tells me everyzing! Of course I'm right. Vell, Vell. Now, vat can you tell me about your icy planet? [[We live in ice grottoes and don't talk much because it's so cold there your words freeze before they reach the other person.|planetblue2]] [[Come to think of it, I need some time, to phrase everything nicely.|bookbeback]]

<<set $bookgrey to true>>\ The Baron is frantically writing in a leather-bound notebook. SCHMERZKOPF: Rocks… grey… not exciting… just as I zought! Zank you for your assistance! Here, take zis. <<set $money += 100>>\ You received 100 MEC. SCHMERZKOPF: I'm afraid your story doesn't qualify for ze special bonus, but still, I do appreciate your help. [[Continue|westerncorridor]]

<<set $bookgreen to true>>\ The Baron is frantically writing in a leather-bound notebook. SCHMERZKOPF: Trees… more trees… bigger trees… just as I zought! Zank you for your assistance! Here, take zis. <<set $money += 100>>\ You received 100 MEC. SCHMERZKOPF: I'm afraid your story doesn't qualify for ze special bonus, but still, I do appreciate your help. [[Continue|westerncorridor]]

<<set $bookblue to true>>\ The Baron is frantically writing in a leather-bound notebook. SCHMERZKOPF: Ice grottoes… tough, taciturn inhabitants … just as I zought! Zank you for your assistance! Here, take zis. <<set $money += 100>>\ You received 100 MEC. SCHMERZKOPF: I'm afraid your story doesn't qualify for ze special bonus, but still, I do appreciate your help. [[Continue|westerncorridor]]

<<set $bookred to true>>\ The Baron is frantically writing in a leather-bound notebook. SCHMERZKOPF: Volcanoes… lava… varm climate... just as I zought! Zank you for your assistance! Here, take zis. <<set $money += 100>>\ You received 100 MEC. SCHMERZKOPF: I'm afraid your story doesn't qualify for ze special bonus, but still, I do appreciate your help. [[Continue|westerncorridor]]

<<set $bookred to true>><<set $redbonus to true>>\ You tell the Baron the entire story of Oamameo you've read in Gallord's. He's frantically taking notes and almost crying with joy. SCHMERZKOPF: Oh, zat is simply beautiful! Vat an incredible story! Love, pover, zacrifice! My readers are going to love zis so much! Zank you, my friend; you've treated this old man to somezing special, indeed! Here, take zis as a token of my gratitude! <<set $money += 100>>\ You received 100 MEC. SCHMERZKOPF: And here's a little bonus. Zuch a great story is vell vorth a special prize. I'd like you to keep zis: my very own pocket vatch. He hands you a golden electronic watch on a chain. SCHMERZKOPF: It is very valuable, and has many different vunctions you vill zurely vind useful. Take it – you've earned it! <<set $watch to true>>\ Item received: Pocket watch [[Continue|westerncorridor]]

The Amazing Instant Delivery Mail Order Pet Shop is the single most advanced, most convenient, most incredible way to buy all pet-related products! You can access our entire catalogue from each of our high-tech self-service booths. Your orders are delivered instantly, straight into the booth's receptacle tray, via an advanced molecular scientific transportation technology that will make you gasp in amazement! We accept payment in MEC chips or by credit card. [[Back|petshop]]

<<if $buypetsagain>>\ <<else>><<set $buypetsagain to true>>CHUK: Great, they've bought out all the nice pets and left only toads and horribly expensive pigeons. <</if>>\ Pink Nebula Bunny – 400 MEC – OUT OF STOCK [[Learn more|bunny]] Alluvian Arboreal Dog – 550 MEC – OUT OF STOCK [[Learn more|dog]] Red Sun Starfish – 100 MEC – OUT OF STOCK [[Learn more|starfish]] Korrian Horned Toad – 250 MEC <<if $toadbought>>– OUT OF STOCK<</if>> [[Learn more|abouttoad]] <<if $toadbought>> <<else>> [[Buy for 250 MEC|buytoad]] <</if>>\ Homing Rocket Pigeon – SPECIAL OFFER! ONLY 9999 MEC! <<if $pigeonbought>>– OUT OF STOCK<</if>> [[Learn more|aboutpigeon]] <<if $pigeonbought>>\ <<else>> [[Buy for 9999 MEC|buypigeon]] <</if>>\ [[Back|petshop]]

[[Dry foods|fooddry]] [[Canned foods|foodcanned]] [[Crickets|buycrickets]] [[Back|petshop]]

The machine displays a long list of weirdly-named accessories for equally weirdly-named pets. CHUK: I can't imagine I'd need any of those. [[Back|petshop]]

The machine displays a long list of various brand products. CHUK: I don't want any of those. [[Back|buyfood]]

Crickets – only 50 MEC! Fresh, live, carefully selected crickets. Your pet will love them! Packaging not included. [[Buy for 50 MEC|crickets2]] [[Back|buyfood]]

<<if $money < 50>>\ CHUK: I don't have that much money. [[Back|buyfood]] <<else>>\ <<if $cricketsbought>>\ CHUK: I don't need any more crickets. [[Back|buyfood]] <<elseif $boxinbooth>>\ You touch the button on the screen to confirm your purchase and pay 50 MEC. <<set $money -= 50>>\ You lost 50 MEC. There is a rumbling noise. The booth starts to shake violently. Purple light flashes. Then the icebox vibrates and you hear a bunch of crickets chirping, jumping and bouncing inside it. CHUK: Gotcha! The sounds of the crickets soon slow down and then cease completely. CHUK: The cold must have put them to sleep. I hope they'll be ready for action when they wake up! You pick up the icebox. <<set $crickets to true>><<set $cricketsbought to true>><<set $boxinbooth to false>>\ Item received: Crickets in icebox [[Continue|westerncorridor]] <<elseif $cricketsescaped>>\ CHUK: If I buy more crickets now, they'll just escape. I don't want to waste any more money on that. [[Back|buyfood]] <<else>>\ <<set $cricketsescaped to true>>\ You touch the button on the screen to confirm your purchase and pay 50 MEC. <<set $money -= 50>>\ You lost 50 MEC. There is a rumbling noise. The booth starts to shake violently. Purple light flashes and suddenly a bunch of confused crickets appear on the metal tray. Before you can react, they scatter in every possible direction with surprising speed. Soon there isn't a single cricket in sight. CHUK: Those were some fast crickets… [[Back|buyfood]] <</if>>\ <</if>>\

Pink Nebula Bunnies are famous for their soft fur and beautiful singing. Ideal for a present that shows your affection for your loved one! [[Back|buypets]]

These tree-dwelling canines have long, fluffy tails which help them keep their balance as they run swiftly from tree to tree. They are playful and social, ideal for people looking for a companion. [[Back|buypets]]

These land-dwelling starfish are famous for their potent bioluminescence. They glow visibly red even in full daylight. [[Back|buypets]]

Patient and gentle, these long-living toads make excellent pets. Although they look almost identical to Rokkian Hissing Toads (from which they can be distinguished by the fact they don't make the distinct hissing noise), they are completely harmless. [[Back|buypets]]

<<if $money < 250>>\ CHUK: I don't have this much money. [[Back|buypets]] <<else>>\ <<set $toadbought to true>>\ You touch the button on screen to confirm your purchase and pay 250 MEC. <<set $money -= 250>>\ You lost 250 MEC. The machine starts shaking and rumbling, and emits a loud, screeching noise. Then an orange light flashes and a big, green and yellow striped toad with two pointy horns appears on the metal tray with a quiet pop. You pick up the toad, which looks half asleep and offers no resistance. <<set $toad to true>>\ Item received: Korrian Horned Toad [[Back|buypets]] <</if>>

Deliver your messages with style! Homing Rocket Pigeons are a special breed of space travel capable birds. With their rocket backpacks, they'll fly across the stars to deliver your letters, never getting lost or delayed. Thanks to advanced brain implants, they always find the recipient of the message – it's enough to provide their unique identifying data – no postal address required! Try one of these amazing messengers today! [[Back|buypets]]

<<if $money < 9999>>\ CHUK: I don't have this much money. Haven't robbed any banks recently. [[Back|buypets]] <<else>>\ <<set $pigeonbought to true>>\ You touch the button on the screen to confirm your purchase and pay 9999 MEC. CHUK: I hope that pigeon is worth this much. <<set $money -= 9999>>\ You lost 9999 MEC. The machine starts shaking and emitting whistling noises. A blinding white light flashes and then a pigeon appears on the receptacle tray. It looks around, cooing gently. It's a beautiful bird, slim but muscular. It's wearing a pigeon-sized space helmet and a shiny rocket backpack. There's a small computer screen on the backpack. You delicately pick up the pigeon. <<set $pigeon to true>>\ Item received: Homing Rocket Pigeon You examine the birds's back; next to the screen, you find a switch labelled "SPEED". It has three positions: INDOOR, ATMOSPHERIC and INTERPLANETARY. A sticker next to the switch warns against using the higher speed settings inside buildings, as it may cause "substantial damage". The switch is currently in the INDOOR position, and you leave it as is. [[Back|buypets]] <</if>>

LIBRARIAN: (yawns) I'm so bored. Maybe I should read a fantasy novel, a tale of romance and high adventure?… Though, I never really liked fantasy. [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: NO, BUT I CAN SHOW YOU WHAT AN EIGHT-ARMED ZIZZIAN CAN DO WHEN ANGERED! GET OUT OF MY LIBRARY! [[Back|redask]]

LIBRARIAN: A princess? So, you too think being high-born is all that counts? How easily are people fooled by wealth and titles… So much injustice born of this… It's such a tragedy! [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: Well, if you want to learn something about a particular race, it's always a good idea to check Gallord's. [[Back|greenask]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Well, she sure has a nice name! Who is she? CHUK: Oh, nevermind. [[Back|deathsquestions]]

As you come closer, the guard stops you with an outstretched hand. ROYAL GUARD: Halt! These stairs lead to His Majesty Chairperor Mzzur's private penthouse! As His Majesty's royal guard, my job is to stop all intruders from entering! I'm sorry, sir, but you have to turn back! [[I'm not an intruder!|nointruder]] [[Will you shoot me if I try to force my way through?|willyoushoot]] [[Is the Chairperor in his penthouse?|chairperorin]] <<if $learnweakness>>\ [[Hey, I've got something to tell you!|insults]] <<else>>\ [[You look powerful… You must be nearly undefeatable!|weakness]] <</if>>\ [[I'm really enjoying the conversation, but I must go.|northwesterncorridor]]

The machine only sells one type of drink, something called the "M'zzur Extra Fizzy Cinnamon Diet Soda With Real Gold Particles". [[Buy one for 50 MEC|buysoda]] [[Back|northwesterncorridor]]

<<set $room to 'tunnel'>>\ <center>Ventilation tunnel</center> <<if $ventagain>>\ You are in the place where the tunnel forks into three paths. <<else>><<set $ventagain to true>>\ This concrete tunnel leads in the direction of the arena and is high enough for you to walk without bending over. You soon reach the place where the tunnel forks into three paths. <</if>> The left path is very short and ends in an [[opening with a concrete ledge|opening]], leading to the arena and letting in light. The opening is secured with steel bars. On the walls right behind the opening there are [[rows of heating pipes|arenapipes]]. The pipes turn and stretch into the [[middle tunnel|toboilerroom]] which leads straight ahead. The [[right path|darktunnel]] leads into darkness. You can also [[go back to the guest area|northwesterncorridor]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

The grate is secured with four screws. CHUK: I can't unscrew them by hand. [[Back|northwesterncorridor]]

<<set $room to 'guestwing'>>\ <center>Guest wing corridor</center> There are countless numbered doors on both sides of this corridor. The floor is white marble and the walls are painted gold, but in some places the paint is flaking off. <<if $maintenancemanscared>>\ <<else>>\ <<if $talkmaintenanceagain>>The [[herpetologist-turned-maintenance man|talkmaintenanceman]]<<else>>A [[sour-looking male human|talkmaintenanceman]] in a blue jumpsuit<</if>> is repainting the walls, using a can of gold spray paint. <</if>>\ <<if $toaddeployed>>\ A [[Korrian Horned Toad|sleepingtoad]] is sleeping peacefully on the floor. <</if>>\ The guest wing stretches [[west|gowest]]. The main corridor is to the [[east|northwesterncorridor]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $room to 'penthouse'>>\ <center>Chairperor's penthouse</center> This giant room is [[filled with antique furniture|lookpenthouse]] and drowned in the pale light of the [[Crystal Moon|themoon]], which shines brightly behind a half-dome window. In the centre of the penthouse there is a throne made of glassy black stone and an exquisite golden table. On the table there is<<if $remotetaken>>\<<else>> a [[bright red remote control|takeremote]] and<</if>> a [[golden videophone|videophone]]. Behind the throne, on a small pedestal, there is a life-sized [[statue of Chairperor M'zzur|statue]], made of solid gold. You can leave the penthouse via an [[express lift|northwesterncorridor]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

As you approach the staircase, the man in golden armour stops you with an outstretched hand. ROYAL GUARD: Sorry, sir, but this staircase leads to His Majesty Chairperor Mzzur's private penthouse. No one is allowed to enter without a personal invitation from his Majesty. [[Turn back|northwesterncorridor]] [[What a coincidence! I've just received a personal invitation from the Chairperor!|guardblock2]]

CHUK: I won't squeeze through that grate. [[Back|northwesterncorridor]]

ROYAL GUARD: That is not possible, sir. I am notified about each invitation His Majesty issues, and recently he's issued none. I am afraid I have to ask you to turn back. [[Turn back|northwesterncorridor]]

<<if $money < 50>>\ CHUK: I don't have this much money. Besides… 50 MEC for a bottle of soda? That's crazy! [[Back|northwesterncorridor]] <<elseif $sodabought>>\ CHUK: No thanks. I don't need another overpriced soda. [[Back|northwesterncorridor]] <<else>><<set $sodabought to true>>\ You pay 50 MEC and the machine spits out a slim, golden bottle with a warning on the label that reads: Caution! Extremely fizzy. Do not shake! <<set $money -=50>><<set $soda to true>>\ You lost 50 MEC. Item received: M'zzur Soda CHUK: I think I now know where M'zzur gets his money from. 50 MEC for a single bottle?! [[Back|northwesterncorridor]] <</if>>\

ROYAL GUARD: Everyone but His Majesty and his personal guests is an intruder to me! [[I am the Chairperor's guest! He's just invited me!|nointruder2]] [[Okay, if you say so.|guardtalk]]

ROYAL GUARD: Without a moment of hesitation, sir! CHUK: I was afraid you were going to say that. [[Back|guardtalk]]

ROYAL GUARD: I am not authorised to share this information. [[Back|guardtalk]]

ROYAL GUARD: Correction, sir. I am COMPLETELY undefeatable. His Majesty would not accept any less from his personal guard. I have received the most deadly, intense training possible, and my armour and weapons are the latest, most powerful prototypes developed by M'zzur Armaments. As you can clearly see, there is no way you could get past me, so you'd better turn back. [[Don't you have any weakness? Come on, everybody has one. No need to be shy about that!|weakness2]] [[Back|guardtalk]]

ROYAL GUARD: That is not possible, sir. I am notified about each invitation His Majesty issues, and lately he issued none. I am afraid I cannot let you go any further. [[Okay, if you say so.|guardtalk]]

ROYAL GUARD: I am sorry to disappoint you, sir, but I am unlike anyone else. No weaknesses. Only unwavering strength and loyalty to His Majesty! [[Aren't you weak to high kicks?|kicks]] [[Maybe you're ticklish?|ticklish]] [[I'm sure you're weak to heavy artillery!|artillery]] [[I bet you can't stand mean insults!|weaktoinsults]] [[Back|guardtalk]]

ROYAL GUARD: I can dodge, block or counter any kick imaginable, sir. During my training, I had to practice until I was able to defend myself against thirty four-legged Aattian martial artists attacking at once! [[Back|guessweakness]]

ROYAL GUARD: I am not, sir, and even if I was, my armour makes it impossible to tickle me. [[Back|guessweakness]]

ROYAL GUARD: Well, I guess heavy artillery could kill me, but there's no way a battery of cannons would fit in this corridor. And even if somebody tried to install one here, I would shoot them before they could start laying the foundations. [[Back|guessweakness]]

<<set $learnweakness to true>>\ The royal guard suddenly shudders. ROYAL GUARD: N-no! Not anymore! I can stand every insult ever invented! I've eradicated this weakness of mine! CHUK: So, you used to be afraid of insults, huh? ROYAL GUARD: Oh yes, sir. I admit it without shame, for true strength lies in knowing your own weaknesses – and eliminating them. Yes, I was sensitive to insults – so sensitive, in fact, I would run away if someone called me a blockheaded t-tin-can, or a pa-pathetic clown. The guard's voice trembles ever so slightly as he speaks the insults, but he composes himself and continues. ROYAL GUARD: Excuse me this moment of weakness; even now it hurts me to think that I used to run away from a well-timed invective. It was unacceptable for His Majesty's personal guard, so I decided to learn all the insults in the world, to accept them and prepare for being assaulted with them. Now I won't even wink if you call me a poo-headed smellypants! [[Continue|guardtalk]]

<<set $weakinsult to true>>\ ROYAL GUARD: I am above such uninspired insults, sir. [[Back|insults2]]

<<set $weakinsult to true>>\ ROYAL GUARD: I see you envy me my armour. Sorry, sir, but only the best of the best can wear it. [[Back|insults2]]

<<set $weakinsult to true>>\ ROYAL GUARD: Those scatological references are immature and unoriginal, sir. I would feel ashamed for you if not for my emotion control training. [[Back|insults2]]

<<set $weakinsult to true>>\ ROYAL GUARD: How can you know if all you see is my armour? Come on, sir, you can do better than that. [[Back|insults2]]

<<set $weakinsult to true>>\ ROYAL GUARD: I am clever enough not to give in to such weak and predictable insults, sir. [[Back|insults2]]

<<set $weakinsult to true>>\ ROYAL GUARD: Did you just call me a coward? Nevermind. I wasn't paying attention to your pathetic attempts at insulting me. By the way, your Xlxian accent is pretty bad, sir. [[Back|insults2]]

You follow the corridor for quite a while, discovering nothing but locked doors. CHUK: Everyone sure values their privacy… Nothing for me here. You turn and walk all the way back. [[Continue|guestwing]]

The man doesn't look happy about being interrupted. Although, he didn't look happy before either. MAINTENANCE MAN: Yes? What do you want? [[What are you doing here?|maintenancewhat]] [[Can I borrow your spray paint?|borrowpaint]] [[I must get going.|guestwing]]

<<if $talkmaintenanceagain>>\ MAINTENANCE MAN: Working, you little jerk, so stop bothering me. [[Back|talkmaintenanceman]] <<else>><<set $talkmaintenanceagain to true>>\ MAINTENANCE MAN: And what does it look like to you? I'm sitting in my comfy chair, waiting for the M'zzur Enterprises board meeting to commence, of course! He laughs joylessly. MAINTENANCE MAN: I'm overqualified for this stinking job, you know. Those stuck-up suits made me a maintenance man, but I don't need to be one. Yeah, I'm going to quit. I'm a herpetologist, not some stupid janitor. I bet you don't even know who a herpetologist is, do you? [[Someone who knows a lot about herpes?|herpes]] [[Someone who knows a lot about amphibians and reptiles?|reptiles]] [[You're right, I've no idea.|dontknow]] <</if>>

MAINTENANCE MAN: No, you can't. I need it for my stupid job. [[Back|talkmaintenanceman]]

MAINTENANCE MAN: Man, you're really dumb. Well, let me educate you. Herpetology is the study of amphibians and reptiles. I know everything a man could know about frogs, snakes and all other disgusting, crawling critters… I'm a first-class expert! I wanted to apply for a position at that Instant Delivery Pet Shop, but they don't need qualified experts, oh no, they have their wonderful, oh-so-smart machines. He winces in disgust and goes back to work. [[Back|talkmaintenanceman]]

MAINTENANCE MAN: Hey, not bad… you're smarter than my immediate superior, though that's not much of an achievement. Yes, as a herpetologist I know everything a man could know about frogs, snakes and all other disgusting, crawling critters… I'm a first-class expert! I wanted to apply for a position at that Instant Delivery Pet Shop, but they don't need qualified people, oh no, they have their wonderful, oh-so-smart machines. He winces in disgust and goes back to work. [[Back|talkmaintenanceman]]

MAINTENANCE MAN: Just as I've thought. Well, let me educate you. Herpetology is the study of amphibians and reptiles. I know everything a man could know about frogs, snakes and all other disgusting, crawling creatures… I'm a first-class expert! I wanted to apply for a position at that Instant Delivery Pet Shop, but they don't need qualified experts, oh no, they have their wonderful, oh-so-smart machines. He winces in disgust and goes back to work. [[Back|talkmaintenanceman]]

<<set $kitchenagain to true>>\ The kitchen is full of frantic activity. A tall, multi-armed robot wearing a chef's hat is dashing about, chopping vegetables and adding them to a giant pot. In a corner, a small pot is heating on a stove, emitting a delicious smell. The robot notices you and starts shouting angrily. CHEF-BOT: Finally! Where are you Quik when one needs you? Get to work, you slacker! The floor needs moping! Move, move, move! I've got General Vox's special soup on my head, but of course they won't let me perform my art properly, oh no. "Hey, you, go make a stew for a couple hundred guests!", they said. What a bunch of dunces! As the Chef-bot speaks, it never stops chopping the vegetables with blinding speed. CHEF-BOT: They even dared to suspect me of serving rotten oysters. Suspect! Me! My oysters were pure perfection, it was that stupid woman who had some seafood allergy or something, and she didn't tell, just to put me in trouble. Curse her, and curse her gastrointestinal tract! Now these darn higher ups threaten they're going to have me reprogrammed! Reprogrammed! They would destroy an artist like me because of one false accusation! But that's not going to happen. General Vox's special soup is almost ready, and when she tastes it, she'll worship me to the end of her days and have those fools executed! The robot stops his flaming rant and looks at you. CHEF-BOT: Why aren't you wiping the floor yet, stupid Quik? Get to work, or I'll chop you up and add you to the stew! You look at the kitchen floor and quickly kick the few pieces of chopped-up vegetables you notice under a cupboard. CHUK: Well, that's taken care of. You look at the Chef-bot, but it's too focused on chopping food and shouting abuse to throw you out of the kitchen. [[Continue|kitchen]]

CHEF-BOT: Quit talking and make yourself useful! <<if $soupasked>>\ <<else>>\ [[The General's special soup, it ready?|asksoup]] <</if>>\ <<if $leafadded && $soupasked>>\ [[Quik think special soup ready – it boils a lot!|servesoup]] <</if>>\ [[What robot cooking?|whatcook]] [[Quik go back to work now!|kitchen]]

<<if $soupdone>>\ CHUK: I have no use for wilted carrots. They look extremely unappetising. [[Back|kitchen]] <<else>>\ CHEF-BOT: You there, leave my carrots alone! I need them for my cooking! [[Back|kitchen]] <</if>>

<<if $soupdone>>\ You pick up the leeks. <<set $leekspicked to true>><<set $leeks to true>>\ Item received: Large leeks [[Continue|kitchen]] <<else>>\ You try to grab the leeks sneakily, but the robot notices. CHEF-BOT: Don't touch the leeks, you little thief, or I'll have to chop your sticky fingers off! [[Back|kitchen]] <</if>>

A rich, thick soup, with at least two dozen ingredients, is simmering in the pot. It smells absolutely delicious. [[Back|kitchen]]

You're too short to see inside this giant pot<<if $soupdone>><<else>> the Chef-bot is tirelessly throwing diced vegetables into<</if>>. [[Back|kitchen]]

<<set $soupasked to true>>\ CHEF-BOT: I would know if I didn't have to cook a stupid lunch for stupid guests! Hey, since you had to come here and get in the way, make yourself useful and watch over the soup. Tell me when it's ready. It just needs to start boiling. But don't touch anything, don't sneeze and don't breathe over the pot! Understood? [[Back|talkchefbot]]

<<set $soupdone to true>>\ CHEF-BOT: "A lot"? You complete moron, I told you to call me when it starts to boil! The robot drops its knives, turns around, scattering chopped-up vegetables everywhere, and rushes to the stove. CHEF-BOT: I barely saved it! In the very last moment! Oh, I should have known better than to let a Quik do anything that requires even a bare minimum of thinking! Thank goodness for my quick reflexes. Ahh, it smells delicious, and the texture is just right. The work of a true culinary genius! The robot presses a button on the worktop and within a minute two grim-looking human bodyguards in black suits appear. The robot hands them the pot. CHEF-BOT: Hurry! Don't let it get cold, that would ruin the taste experience! Stop staring at me, go! In must be delivered to General Vox immediately! The bodyguards leave without a word, carrying the pot between them. CHEF-BOT: Ha! Vox will beg for more! Now, who's going to get reprogrammed, eh? It sneers and goes back to the worktop, but suddenly stops, looking at the mess on the ground. CHEF-BOT: You there, Quik! You hesitantly point at yourself, inching towards the door. CHEF-BOT: Don't you even think about running away! This mess is all your fault, and you're going to clean it now, with me watching! You decide it's not a good idea to argue with a bad-tempered, knife-wielding robot, and start cleaning. [[Continue|servesoup2]]

CHEF-BOT: Nothing for you to eat. Quit staring, you're distracting me! [[Back|talkchefbot]]

Ten or so minutes later you hear footsteps. The door is flung open and the grim bodyguards run into the kitchen with raised guns. You duck under the table in the corner. CHEF-BOT: What are you doing? How dare you – in my kitchen – what's this supposed to mean? Hands off! Hands off, or I'll stab you! BODYGUARD 1: Shut up! The robot tries to fight back, but is quickly overwhelmed. The bodyguards shoot it with blue beams that make it turn rigid and collapse to the ground. It writhes weakly and struggles to say something. CHEF-BOT: T-the Ge-ge-general will he-hear about this… BODYGUARD 2: The General sent us, and you know it, you sorry joker! BODYGUARD 1: Yeah! BODYGUARD 2: You thought you were so smart, eh? Well, game over! No more food sabotage for you! CHEF-BOT: T-this is a ho-ho-ho... a mistake! Do-don't re-reprogram me! Ple-please! BODYGUARD 2: Reprogram? Reprogramming would be to good for you! The General wants your damn robot head on a silver platter! You're getting recycled! BODYGUARD 1: Yeah! Smelted! The two men drag the short-circuiting robot out of the kitchen. CHUK: I feel a little guilty, even if it wasn't a good robot. And most likely was responsible for the oysters. Well, I'm sure they'll rebuild it into something nicer. [[Continue|kitchen]]

You can see the arena through the opening, but the bars are too close for you to squeeze through. They're embedded in concrete on both ends. CHUK: No way I can get through. <<if $act == 4>>On the small concrete ledge behind the bars you see the remains of a chewed-up icebox. CHUK: No crickets in sight. Well, good luck on your journeys, lovebirds! <<elseif $cricketsset>>A blue icebox is placed on the small concrete ledge behind the bars. <<else>>The small concrete ledge behind the bars is empty. <</if>>\ [[Back|venttunnel]]

<<if $act == 4>>\ The pipes radiate strong heat. They are too hot to touch. [[Back|venttunnel]] <<elseif $heatingpromised>>\ The pipes are cold to the touch. CHUK: I hope the purple guy will remember to turn the heating on for my match. [[Back|venttunnel]] <<else>>\ The pipes are cold to the touch. CHUK: Guess they're saving on heating the arena. [[Back|venttunnel]] <</if>>

<<if $darktunnelagain>>\ CHUK: No, thanks. If I absolutely had to get lost, I'd at least pick a more interesting place for that. [[Back|venttunnel]] <<else>><<set $darktunnelagain to true>>\ You follow the tunnel and soon reach a point where it splits into three directions again. In the last remnants of light coming from the arena you notice more forks in each of the three paths. There are no marks on the wall to show where each path leads to. CHUK: This place is a maze! I'd get lost in a matter of seconds if I went there without any means of navigation. I guess it's a good thing I have no reason to scour the vent tunnels anyway. You return to the first fork and the opening leading to the arena. [[Back|venttunnel]] <</if>>

<<if $waytoboileragain>>\ You follow the pipe tunnel to the boiler room. [[Continue|boilerroom]] <<else>><<set $waytoboileragain to true>>\ You follow the dark tunnel, convinced that even if it forks, you'll be able to return safely by following the heating pipes. The tunnel, however, starts descending and turns several times, but does not branch. The farther you go, the hotter it gets, though the heat does not come from the pipes. After a while you reach the tunnel's end, go through a small opening and find yourself in a dimly-lit boiler room, resonating with a low hum of machinery. It's so hot in here you immediately start sweating. [[Continue|boilerroom]] <</if>>

<<set $room to 'boilerroom'>>\ <center>Boiler room</center> This room is dark and immensely hot. There are several [[giant boilers|boilers]] here and a maze of pipes, running everywhere, which sometimes emit bursts of steam from the joints. All boilers are turned on<<if $act == 4>><<else>>, except [[the one labelled "Arena"|arenaboiler]]<</if>>. Pipes and boilers leave little room for anything else here; there's a small table and a folding chair by the door. The chair is occupied by a [[huge, purple-skinned alien|talkmechanic]]. There is one [[door|bolteddoor]] in the room, bolted shut from the inside, and the [[pipe tunnel opening|venttunnel]] through which you came in. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

CHUK: It probably leads to the ship's engine rooms, and other dangerous places. I'd rather not wander there. [[Back|boilerroom]]

Each of the boilers is labelled on the type shield: "Guest Wing", "Chairperor's penthouse", "Service area", and so on. They're emitting gurgling noises and overwhelming heat. [[Back|boilerroom]]

<<if $heatingpromised>>\ This boiler seems to be inoperative. Its valves are in the "shut" position. CHUK: The mechanic promised to turn it on for my fight with the Cybercricket. [[Back|boilerroom]] <<else>>\ This boiler seems to be inoperative. Its valves are in the "shut" position. [[Turn the valves on the boiler|turnvalves]] [[Back|boilerroom]] <</if>>

You have to climb to your toes to reach the valves, but when you do, you find out you can't move them. CHUK: Ugh… I bet that purple guy could turn these valves with no problem… [[Back|boilerroom]]

<<if $heatingpromised>>\ The mechanic is building an elaborate toothpick tower. He is too absorbed by this activity tower to answer you. [[Back|boilerroom]] <<elseif $icecreamgiven>>\ The mechanic smiles at you with gratitude. MECHANIC: These ice sandwiches really saved me there. Thanks a bunch, little warrior. [[Can you turn up the heating for the arena?|askheating]] [[I must get going.|boilerroom]] <<elseif $talkmechanicagain>>\ The mechanic is panting heavily and swiping sweat off his brow every few seconds. MECHANIC: The heat… Can't stand... [[If you're so sensitive to heat, why did they make you work here?|whyheat]] [[Can you turn up the heating for the arena?|askheating]] [[I must get going.|boilerroom]] <<else>><<set $talkmechanicagain to true>>\ The mechanic is a huge, purple alien with four short legs and two long arms. He's wearing beige overalls. He's slouched on the chair, panting and sweating, visibly exhausted from the heat. MECHANIC: He-hey, how did you get in here? This is no place for little guys like you! CHUK: I'm a soon-to-be champion of the arena, not just any little guy! The mechanic scratches his head in thought, then looks at you with some respect. MECHANIC: You look terribly small for a warrior, but they say one little guy came and won some fights… Okay, you can stay here... if you want. If… the heat doesn't bother you. It's.. it's killing me… He wipes sweat off his brow and slumps back in his chair, breathing heavily. [[If you're so sensitive to heat, why did they make you work here?|whyheat]] [[Can you turn up the heating for the arena?|askheating]] [[I must get going.|boilerroom]] <</if>>\

MECHANIC: H-hey, I'm not sensitive! No one else can stay here as long as me! But… after… some time… even I get tired… so tired… [[Back|talkmechanic]]

<<if $icecreamgiven>><<set $heatingpromised to true>>\ MECHANIC: Well, we were told to keep heating for the arena down 'cause it's not really needed… CHUK: It's much too chilly out there. I'll freeze to death during my fight for the championship if something isn't done about that. The mechanic scratches his head. MECHANIC: Ooh, that would be bad! I don't want you to freeze, 'specially that you gave me those ice sandwiches, and all. Sure, I'll turn up the heating for your next match. Which one's that? CHUK: The only one remaining. MECHANIC: Golly! So, the next one's the big final? And you're in it? You must be stronger than you look! MUCH stronger! He looks at you with awe. MECHANIC: I'll make sure that boiler is hot as heck for your fight, boss! CHUK: Thanks. I guess that makes us even. Just don't turn it on too soon, okay? Do it right before the match. No need to waste fuel. MECHANIC: Sure thing, boss! [[Continue|boilerroom]] <<elseif $askheatingagain>>\ MECHANIC: Sorry... need to catch my breath first… So hot… [[Back|talkmechanic]] <<else>><<set $askheatingagain to true>>\ MECHANIC: Turn... up? Are you… joking, little warrior guy? It's too hot already! CHUK: Not in the arena. I'm freezing during my fights. MECHANIC: That's... bad. Guess I should turn it up then… don't want the fighters to catch a cold… But I'm too tired now… Give me a moment to catch my breath… Panting heavily, he slumps back in his chair. [[Back|talkmechanic]] <</if>>

<<set $card to false>><<set $portrait to true>>\ The woman looks at the card with surprise. PAINTER: What's that for? CHUK: Could you paint my portrait on this card? Just add me here and leave the moon in the background. The painter takes the card. PAINTER: Well, that's… unusual. But it's good quality cardstock, so technically, it could be done. Such small format… this could be a fun challenge. Could, because I still have more work to do on the General's portrait. Guess you'll have to wait. Probably a month or two, with the number of retouches Vox demands. CHUK: A month? I don't have that much time! You have to paint it now! PAINTER: I have to? And why is that? [[Because I will pay you a lot of money!|payalot]] [[Because I need it for a card trick!|cardtrick]] [[Because it will be more fun than painting an old, sullen general!|paintfun]]

PAINTER: Not more than General Vox. As far as money is concerned, I've already found the best possible client, other than the Chairperor himself. [[Because I need it for a card trick!|cardtrick]] [[Because it will be more fun than painting an old, sullen general!|paintfun]]

PAINTER: Now you're just talking nonsense. Sorry, I have no time for this. Got some serious work to do. [[Because I will pay you a lot of money!|payalot]] [[Because it will be more fun than painting an old, sullen general!|paintfun]]

PAINTER: Ah-ha-hah! You have some guts, I'll give you that. Don't worry, I won't tell the old, sullen general. I'm sick and tired of her, and her face. All right, you've convinced me. I can spare some time for a small side project, and you seem an interesting model. Okay. Stand over there, and strike a fun pose. The woman puts the tarot card on the easel and gets ready to paint your portrait. [[Strike a triumphant pose|triumphant]] [[Strike a threatening pose|threatening]] [[Strike a jolly pose|jolly]]

<<set $cardcolor to $color>><<set $pose to 'triumphant'>>\ Some time passes... [[Continue|paintdone]]

<<set $cardcolor to $color>><<set $pose to 'threatening'>>\ Some time passes... [[Continue|paintdone]]

<<set $cardcolor to $color>><<set $pose to 'jolly'>>\ Some time passes... [[Continue|paintdone]]

<<set $portraitdone to true>>\ PAINTER: And now, for the finishing touches… Keep still, just for a moment longer… Fix this… Lighten it up here… PAINTER: Done! Well, that was a lot of fun, actually. Here – your portrait. No, I don't want any money, from you thanks. I'll add that to General Vox's bill! The painter chuckles. You take the repainted tarot card, still glossy with fresh paint. The picture on the card now shows a $cardcolor Gyffid in a $pose pose, drawn with strong, somewhat angular lines, and a full moon in the background. Item lost: Tarot card Item received: Personalised tarot card [[Continue|conservatory]]

<<set $fortuneroomagain to true>>\ You enter the fortune teller's room and look around in amazement. This place looks like it was taken straight from an old tale of magic; like it doesn't belong on the Chairperor's ship. For starters, there's not enough gold here – but lots of wooden furniture, glass ornaments and hanging curtains. Everything looks old and a little worn, and the room smells of dust and incense. It seems Madame Golgadul is not here, so you take your time to look around. [[Continue|fortuneroom]]

<<if $cardscam>>\ CHUK: At least Madame Golgadul will have some free time now. I hope Ochra paid her in advance. <<if $madamein>>\ MADAME GOLGADUL: Oh, she did. I wouldn't have agreed on anything else.<<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Back|fortuneroom]] <<else>>\ The notebook is where Madame Golgadul keeps her appointments. You flip through the pages and discovers that she's booked out for the duration of the entire tournament – by a single person. CHUK: Well, well. Princess Ochra must really believe in Madame Golgadul's psychic powers. I bet she consults the fortune teller before each of her fights. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <</if>>\

CHUK: Nothing but mist in there. And the ball looks pretty cheap – and plasticky. I think it's just a prop. [[Back|fortuneroom]]

<<if $madamein>>\ MADAME GOLGADUL: Please, don't touch the cards. You could imbue them with negative energy, or, even worse, leave sticky fingerprints. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <<else>>\ <<if $cards == 0>><<set $cards +=1>><<set $madameappear to true>><<set $cardpicked to true>>\ You flip the top card of the deck over, revealing a picture of a brilliant full moon, shining over a scene with alien animals. "The Moon", it says at the bottom of the card. CHUK: Whoa! Could this possibly… [[…mean that I will save the Crystal Moon from the Chairperor's clutches?|goodluck]] [[...mean that someone knows about my quest and is plotting against me?|badluck]] [[...be a simple coincidence?|coincidence]] <<elseif $cards == 1>><<set $cards +=1>>\ CHUK: Let's look at another one. It's strangely exhilarating, even if I don't know what all these cards are supposed to mean. You flip over the top card of the deck, revealing a detailed picture of Chairperor M'zzur seated on a golden throne. CHUK: Oh, great. Number four, "The Chairperor". I could do without the sight of him. You put the card back on the top of the deck. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <<else>>\ CHUK: No, thanks. I don't want to find any more Chairperors in that deck, and knowing my luck, it's stacked full of them. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <</if>><</if>>

<<set $card to true>>\ CHUK: This must be a good omen! If I found this "Moon", it surely means I'm going to find the Crystal Moon as well! I'm going to keep this card. It might turn out to be of some use to me. Item received: Tarot card [[Continue|fortuneroom]]

<<set $card to true>>\ CHUK: Maybe it's a bad omen? Could someone have learned about my plan and be trying to stop me? Is this an otherworldly warning? Or maybe just a piece of cardboard with a nice picture of a moon on it? Anyway, I'm going to keep this. It might turn out to be of some use to me. Item received: Tarot card [[Continue|fortuneroom]]

<<set $card to true>>\ CHUK: Come to think of it, it's just chance. Cards can't know the future. Moon, Sun – those are just pictures on cardboard. But I'm going to keep this. It might turn out to be of some use to me. Item received: Tarot card [[Continue|fortuneroom]]

<<if $madamein>>Madame Golgadul is knitting, using the colourful yarn from this basket. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <<else>>There are different coloured balls of yarn in the basket, and a piece of knitting on two knitting needles. CHUK: Better not touch it. I don't want to tangle everything up. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <</if>>

<<if $bandtaken>>\ The bin is empty. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <<else>>\ The bin is empty save for a piece of white elastic band, about one metre long. [[Take the elastic band|takeband]] [[Back|fortuneroom]] <</if>>\

<<set $bandtaken to true>><<set $band to true>>\ CHUK: Seems like Madame Golgadul has discarded it. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I took it. Item received: Elastic band [[Back|fortuneroom]]

<<if $madamein>>\ MADAME GOLGADUL: That's my bathroom. I don't keep any treasures there, so please don't go in. CHUK: Oh – okay. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <<elseif $act > 2>>\ CHUK: Madame Golgadul's not there, but I still wouldn't feel comfortable walking into her bathroom. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <<else>>\ You stop in front of the door and listen to the sounds of splashing water and jolly humming coming through it. CHUK: No, thanks. I won't intrude on Madame Golgadul while she's taking a bath. [[Back|fortuneroom]] <</if>>\

<<if $talkmadameagain>>\ The fortune teller puts down her knitting and looks at you questioningly. MADAME GOLGADUL: Did you come to chat with me again? <<if $cardscam>>\ <<else>>[[Why are you booked out? I don't see people queuing at your door.|whybooked]] <</if>>\ [[Do you really have mystic powers?|powers]] <<if $cardscam>>\ <<else>>\ [[I didn't know fortune tellers were allowed on the Chairperor's flagship.|allowed]] [[Can you read my fortune? Please?|pleeeease]] <</if>>\ <<if $cardscam>>\ [[Looks like Princess Ochra won't be coming back soon, so could you read my fortune now?|please2]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cardscam && $act == 2>>\ [[Do you think Princess Ochra will show up for the fight?|willshecome]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[I'll be going.|fortuneroom]] <<else>><<set $talkmadameagain to true>>\ The fortune-teller is a massive, hunchbacked, grey-skinned alien with short arms, stubby fingers and a large head with a stretch of mane in the middle. She has a small snout, and a pair of curved, protruding tusks. There's a look of wisdom in her beady, black eyes. CHUK: Hello. My name's Chuk… MADAME GOLGADUL: Please, talk a bit louder. I can't hear you when you mumble. CHUK: I didn't mum- oh, okay. You realise Madame Golgadul is somewhat hard on hearing and start talking really loudly. CHUK: Hello. My name's Chuk… MADAME GOLGADUL:…and you want me to read your fortune. I am really sorry, Chuk, but I'm booked out. [[How did you know I wanted to consult you?|howknow]] [[Actually, I don't want a fortune reading.|noreading]] <</if>>

MADAME GOLGADUL: I would be a poor fortune teller if I couldn't tell that. Obviously, you want a fortune reading, you wouldn't have come here otherwise. Unfortunately, I cannot advise you. [[Continue|madamequestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: Really? So, you came just to chat with me? [[Continue|madamequestions]]

<<if $cardscam>>\ <<else>>[[Why are you booked out? I don't see people queuing at your door.|whybooked]] <</if>>\ [[Do you really have mystic powers?|powers]] <<if $cardscam>>\ <<else>>\ [[I didn't know fortune tellers were allowed on the Chairperor's flagship.|allowed]] [[Can you read my fortune? Please?|pleeeease]] <</if>>\ <<if $cardscam>>\ [[Looks like Princess Ochra won't be coming back soon, so could you read my fortune now?|please2]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ <<if $cardscam && $act == 2>>\ [[Do you think Princess Ochra will show up for the fight?|willshecome]] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[I'll be going.|fortuneroom]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: A wealthy client paid for an exclusive right to my services for the duration of the tournament. That's why I cannot advise anyone else right now. We can chat if you want to, but no fortune telling. I'm sorry. [[Back|madamequestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: I am not allowed to discuss the secrets of my trade. [[Back|madamequestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: His Majesty is not an enthusiast of the mystical and the supernatural, that is true; but he and his company can recognise a business opportunity when they see one. I was allowed to operate during the tournament in return for a substantial share in the profits. A very substantial share. You notice the fortune teller sounds bitter when she talks about the Chairperor. [[Back|madamequestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: No. I am sorry, but no matter how many times you ask, the answer won't change. I can't violate the agreement with my exclusive client. She should be here soon and would get furious if she saw I was reading cards for somebody else. [[Back|madamequestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: I'm still bound by the exclusivity agreement, Chuk. Besides, would you really want to consult the cards? You seem to be more inclined to shape the future with your own hands. CHUK: Yeah, maybe you're right. MADAME GOLGADUL: Of course I am. I can see the future, and I don't see you having tarot read. [[Back|madamequestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: She most certainly will. She fears the supernatural, but has the spirit of a warrior and will try to overcome her fear, trusting her swords are stronger than your… ahem… "magic". [[Back|madamequestions]]

The fortune teller deals three cards in a row, face down, to the table. OCHRA: I must win this tournament. We, the Chelac, need to show M'zzur he should fear us. He humiliated us, but one day we will rise and make him… MADAME GOLGADUL: Shhh… You shouldn't say such things on this ship. Now, let us glimpse into the future… She flips over the first card. MADAME GOLGADUL: Well, well, what we have here is… Princess Ochra jumps from her chair. OCHRA: Impossible! It's "The Death"! I'm going to be killed! MADAME GOLGADUL: Now, now, Princess. Sit down, please. This card is not a bad omen; rather, it signifies change and – OCHRA: Change? I've won all my fights so far, so what do you think this "change" is going to be? MADAME GOLGADUL: Calm down, please. The fortune teller flips over the second card and grunts in surprise. MADAME GOLGADUL: Well, this one… is new to me. [[Continue|scam2.5]]

You pull back the curtain, step forward and grin at Ochra. CHUK: And if I were to interpret these cards, I'd say you're going to lose. Badly. OCHRA: IT'S HIM! The fortune teller looks at you with some interest. MADAME GOLGADUL: Oh, so you're still here. Princess Ochra's voice is trembling, but she's trying to fight back her fear. She shakes her fists and shouts: OCHRA: You've not won yet, dark magician! My swords will guide me to victory! And you, fortune teller – I've had enough of your advice! She hurriedly leaves the room. MADAME GOLGADUL: Thank goodness she's gone. You pulled a nasty trick on her, Gyffid. Nasty, but clever. Mmm… I wasn't going to watch your match, but now I'm tempted to do so. [[Can't you just consult your cards to see who'll win?|consult]] [[Aren't you angry at me?|notangry]] [[Since Ochra's gone, can you read my fortune now?|readnow]] [[I'll be going, Thanks… for not being mad at me.|prophecy]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: It wouldn't be as entertaining as watching you and your inventiveness face a Chelac's strength and skill in the arena. You may not be aware of this, but simply knowing the future is hardly ever exciting. [[Back|scamquestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: No, I'm far too amused to be angry. Besides, had Princess Ochra listened to me, she wouldn't have fallen for your... card trick. [[Back|scamquestions]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: One more thing before you go, Gyffid. CHUK: That reminds me – you called me a Gyffid earlier. How do you know my race? MADAME GOLGADUL: I've visited your planet once, a long time ago. I took quite a liking to it. And I know what few others on this ship are aware of – that the Crystal Moon was stolen from you by Chairperor M'zzur. I assume that's why you're participating in the tournament. Now, tell me, Chuk – what are you planning to do? [[I hope the Crystal Moon is the main prize in the tournament, and I intend to win it.|wantprize]] [[I know the Chairperor's is onboard this ship. I want to make him pay for his crime.|wantrevenge]] [[I don't really have a plan. I just hope to do well in the tournament, and maybe I'll get an opportunity to steal the Moon back.|noplan]] [[You are mistaken. I'm not here for the Moon. I'm just another contestant.|justcontestant]] [[I don't really want to discuss my plans with anyone. Sorry.|secretplan]]

[[Can't you just consult your cards to see who'll win?|consult]] [[Aren't you angry at me?|notangry]] [[Since Ochra's gone, can you read my fortune now?|readnow]] [[I'll be going, Thanks… for not being mad at me.|prophecy]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: Mmm… that's not entirely impossible, though I somehow doubt the Chairperor would be willing to part with it. [[Continue|prophecy2]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: You're a fool, Gyffid. Chairperor M'zzur is clever and cautious, and guarded so well you couldn't harm him even if you had an entire army with you. [[Continue|prophecy2]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: I see… You're impulsive and hot-headed. We'll see if luck is on your side. [[Continue|prophecy2]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: I find that hard to believe. I know how important the Crystal Moon is to Gyffids. [[Continue|prophecy2]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: You have nothing to fear from me, Chuk. I do not work for the Chairperor. [[Continue|prophecy2]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: I wish you best of luck in your endeavours. But getting the Moon back will be very difficult. The Chairperor is not accustomed to giving, or sharing. CHUK: Let me guess – you're no fan of his. MADAME GOLGADUL: You guessed right. I don't love Chairperor M'zzur, Chuk. And I have personal reasons. The Chairperor hates all mystics. He made fortune tellers' lives hard; we cannot practice our trade without a license, which few manage to obtain, and have to pay draconian taxes. CHUK: Why does he hate you so much? MADAME GOLGADUL: They say an old, wise prophet from a distant world came to M'zzur once and foretold his downfall, that he would be defeated by a great warrior. As you may imagine, the Chairperor was not happy to hear that; he sent the mystic to a prison planet, where he disappeared without a trace, and started to oppress all seers, magicians and fortune tellers. He only tolerates our existence because we make him money. And he doesn't like warriors, or warrior races, either – I find it somewhat strange he decided to organise a tournament that celebrates something he claims belongs in the past. CHUK: Maybe he just realised he can make good money off warriors, just like he does off mystics. Hey, now that I think of it – there are many great fighters participating in the tournament. Do you think one of them is going to defeat M'zzur? The fortune teller smiles. MADAME GOLGADUL: You'd be surprised how seldom such prophecies are fulfilled, Chuk. The Chairperor had time to prepare. I don't think he, who rules the galaxy, would be scared of a single individual, no matter how skilled as a warrior he or she is. In any case, whatever your plans are, be most careful. Don't underestimate the Chairperor. CHUK: I won't. Thanks for the warning. MADAME GOLGADUL: You're welcome. [[End conversation|fortuneroom]]

You walk into the vestibule and discover that Steve's waiting for you again. STEVE: All right, Chuk, playtime's over! In the semi-finals things are going to get really serious. There's four of you left, but only one main prize, and only one Champion title. I've got a word that Princess Ochra is ready to fight when you are. We're not going to keep her waiting, are we? [[I don't think I'm ready yet.|dontfight2]] [[Yes, I'm ready.|fight2]]

STEVE: Oh, come on. Why do you even come here instead of preparing for the fight? All right, all right, we can wait for a while longer. I want you to be in top condition for this fight. Princess Ochra won't go easy on you, you know. [[Continue|mainlobby]]

STEVE: That's the spirit! STEVE: Let's get on with the formalities. Any weapons? Mm, none of your items qualify. Unarmed combat, then, and against Ochra's four swords! I hope you know what you're doing, friend. OK, put your stuff on that bench. Thanks. You may proceed to the gate. Just like before, you wait in the small room behind the metal portcullis, while Steve announces the fight. STEVE: LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND ALL THE REST OF YOU! PREPARE FOR UNRIVALLED EXCITEMENT, AS OUR FOUR BEST CONTESTANTS ARE GOING TO GIVE IT ALL THEY'VE GOT! WHO WILL EARN THE RIGHT TO FIGHT IN THE FINALS, AND WHO WILL BE ELIMINATED? THE SEMI-FINALS HAVE STARTED AND IT'S DOUBLE THE THRILLS WITH TWO CONSECUTIVE MATCHES! STEVE: IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS WE'RE GOING TO WITNESS PRINCESS OCHRA, A LONG-TIME CROWD FAVOURITE, FACE OFF AGAINST CHUK, THE SURPRISING STAR OF THE QUARTER-FINALS! IT'S THE RAW STRENGTH AND MARTIAL EXPERTISE OF A CHELAC WARRIOR VERSUS THE WITS AND AGILITY OF A… A SMALL, BUT DANGEROUS ALIEN! WHO WILL TRIUMPH? GET READY FOR EXCITEMENT! The gate rises and you walk into the arena. Princess Ochra emerges from the opposite gate, her weapons still sheathed. <<if $cardscam && $swordsswapped>>\ [[Continue|fight2win]] <<elseif $cardscam>>\ [[Continue|fightlose1]] <<elseif $swordsswapped>>\ [[Continue|fightlose2]] <<else>>\ [[Continue|fightlose3]] <</if>>

You carefully unsheathe one sword. It's coloured gold, has no cross-guard, is straight and rather short. CHUK: Well, I suppose even Princess Ochra can't use four long swords at once. The sword's beautifully wrought blade is dulled. [[Take the swords|pickupswords]] [[Back|repairshop]]

CHUK: I can't just steal the swords; they'll notice they're missing. [[Back|repairshop]]

Princess Ochra is waiting in the corridor, walking in circles, with a grim face and all four arms crossed. You approach her and hand her the harness. OCHRA: Finally! What on Sien took you so long? Give me that! CHUK: Quik very sorry for late! But this because bladesmith was put spell on swords. They en-chan-ted now! Ochra gasps in surprise. CHUK: Yes, yes, very strong charm for good luck! We sorry your swords be cursed on our ship, so we do it for free! But remember – magic power only work for a while! It turn on when you pull out swords! Don't pull out swords before match, or you waste all the magic! Ochra smiles, showing sharp, pointy teeth. OCHRA: Enchanted? That must be why they feel so light! Ha! Tell the bladesmith Princess Ochra is grateful! I'll follow their instructions and use the magic well, to destroy the sorcerer I'm fighting in the next round! She laughs heartily and leaves with the sword harness thrown over her shoulder. [[Continue|swapsword3]]

You return to Bob and tell him you handled everything. He's so relieved he even thanks you for the help before he remembers he's talking to a Quik. Slightly embarrassed, he mumbles something and leaves, whistling out of tune. [[Continue|repairshop]]

Princess Ochra stops in the middle of the arena and unsheathes her "swords". She's tense and pale, obviously fearing the curse she believes in. She's hesitant, so you take over initiative. Trying to sound threatening and ominous, you shout: CHUK: Give up, Ochra! You can't change your fate. You're going to lose, no matter what! Ochra's face hardens in determination. She points the leeks at you. OCHRA: You may have dark powers at your command, but we, Chelac, know that no magic can best a warrior who trusts in her blades! Now, face the might of my enchanted swords! CHELAC VARR AG! You brace yourself and protect your face with crossed arms. With a thundering battle scream, she charges at you and hits you in full force. You feel a sharp sting of pain – she's horrifyingly strong – but hold your ground while the leeks give way. You hear Ochra's panicked cry as her "swords" bend and break. The crowd roars and screams in excitement. OCHRA: My swords – how – you – you…! CHUK: The cards didn't lie, Ochra! It's over! OCHRA: N-no! I can still fight! Your magic won't defeat m-me! CHUK: Yeah? Then look at this! <<if $pose == 'triumphant'>>\ [[Strike a triumphant pose|fight2win1]] <<else>>\ [[Strike a triumphant pose|wrongpose1][$wrongpose1 to 'triumphant']] <</if>>\ <<if $pose == 'jolly'>>\ [[Strike a jolly pose|fight2win1]] <<else>>\ [[Strike a jolly pose|wrongpose1][$wrongpose1 to 'jolly']] <</if>>\ <<if $pose == 'threatening'>>\ [[Strike a threatening pose|fight2win1]] <<else>>\ [[Strike a threatening pose|wrongpose1][$wrongpose1 to 'threatening']] <</if>>\

Princess Ochra stops in the middle of the arena and unsheathes her swords. She's tense and pale, obviously fearing the curse she believes in. She's hesitant, so you take over initiative. Trying to sound threatening and ominous, you shout: CHUK: Give up, Ochra! You can't change your fate. You're going to lose, no matter what! Ochra's face hardens in determination. She points her blades at you. OCHRA: You may have dark powers at your command, but we, Chelac, know that no magic can best a warrior who trusts in her blades! With a thundering battle scream, she charges at you and hits you in full force. You dodge one sword, but the remaining three strike you with terrible power. You hear the crowd roar as you fly back and land on the ground, about to pass out. You've lost the fight, and your only chance to get back the Crystal Moon. <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch2]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

The Chelac princess wastes no time in talk. With terrifying laughter, she unsheathes her four golden "swords" in a single, fluid move, and charges. OCHRA: Now, face the might of my enchanted swords! CHELAC VARR AG! You brace yourself and protect your face with crossed arms. Ochra hits you in full force. You feel a sharp sting of pain – she's horrifyingly strong – but hold your ground while the leeks give way. You hear Ochra's panicked cry as her "swords" bend and break. The crowd roars and screams in excitement. OCHRA: Wha- what have you done, sorcerer?! CHUK: Give up, Ochra! You can't win without your weapons! The Chelac princess's face hardens in determination. OCHRA: I will never give up! The cards have promised me victory! For Chelac! She jumps at you with blinding speed and grabs you with two arms. You try to fight back, punch and kick, but it's as if you were hitting a steel wall. Ochra raises you above her head and throws you to the ground. Beaten up and about to pass out, you realise you've lost your only chance to get back the Crystal Moon. <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch2]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

The Chelac princess wastes no time in talk. With terrifying laughter, she unsheathes her four golden swords in a single, fluid move, and charges. OCHRA: CHELAC VARR AG! She hits you in full force. You dodge one sword, but the remaining three strike you with terrible power. You hear the crowd roar as you fly back and land on the ground, about to pass out. You've lost the fight, and your only chance to get back the Crystal Moon. <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch2]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

<<set $act to 3>><<if $watchgiven>><<set $needcape to true>><</if>>\ You walk off the arena to a thunderous applause. You did it. Only one more opponent is standing between you and the great prize. Steve is waiting for you in the vestibule. STEVE: Awesome job, Chuk! I won't even ask how you did that, but if you do have magic powers, please, do not curse me! He laughs out loud. STEVE: I must admit, I didn't expect that, and neither did the audience. So far, Ochra and her swords have been unbeatable! You didn't show a whole lot of combat action, but the surprise factor was just amazing! And I believe the two contestants in the next match will provide all the raw, brutal force some of the audience might have been missing. STEVE: All right, Chuk. You did a great job. Now go, take some rest, relax. Both fighters in the second semi-final are crazy strong. You'll need a good plan – and some good luck – to have a chance against whoever advances to the final match. CHUK: Who are these fighters? As you're talking, Steve's phone starts to beep. STEVE: Sorry, have to run… He points to a screen on the wall. STEVE: If you want, stay here and watch the match. Might be entertaining to you. Or terrifying. The phone is beeping louder and louder. STEVE: Sorry, gotta go! He picks up the call and, shouting at Bob for something, and leaves through a door labelled "Announcer's Booth". CHUK: The next match is starting soon. [[Continue|introact3]]

This fabulous cape is made of actual gold foil, which was enhanced to give it the durability and elasticity of fabric. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Cape of gold <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... Judging from the portrait AND the cape, I think I know what M'zzur's favourite colour is. <<elseif $usecape == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't want him to know that I "appropriated company property" again. <<elseif $usecape == 'ena'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'girl'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'quik'>>CHUK: What use could a Quik have for a cape made of real gold? <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usecape][$usecape to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|usecape][$usecape to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usecape][$usecape to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usecape][$usecape to 'girl']] <<if $questcape>> [[Use with Quik|capetoquik]] <<else>> [[Use with Quik|usecape][$usecape to 'quik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'janitor'>>CHUK: That would make the janitor look really amazing. Sadly, it wouldn't help me accomplish anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I'm sure it would love a genuine golden M'zzur cape, but I might need it for something else. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usecape][$usecape to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usecape][$usecape to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usecape][$usecape to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usecape][$usecape to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'librarian'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usecape][$usecape to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usecape][$usecape to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usecape][$usecape to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'painter'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'madame'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usecape][$usecape to 'plant']] <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|usecape][$usecape to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|usecape][$usecape to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usecape][$usecape to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usecape][$usecape to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'quik'>>CHUK: What use could a Quik have for a cape made of real gold? <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usecape][$usecape to 'tub']] <<if $questcape>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|capetomainquik]] <<else>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|usecape][$usecape to 'quik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'door'>>CHUK: No need to add more gold. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usecape][$usecape to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'grate'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usecape][$usecape to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usecape][$usecape to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'largepot'>>CHUK: I've heard about edible gold, but I'm pretty sure the cape's not that. <<elseif $usecape == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usecape][$usecape to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usecape][$usecape to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'baron'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'bearded'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usecape][$usecape to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usecape][$usecape to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usecape][$usecape to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'toad'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usecape][$usecape to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usecape][$usecape to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usecape][$usecape to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usecape][$usecape to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'crystal'>>CHUK: It would make a nice cover for the crystal ball, but I might need it for something else. <<elseif $usecape == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usecape][$usecape to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usecape][$usecape to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usecape][$usecape to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usecape][$usecape to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'valves'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usecape][$usecape to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usecape][$usecape to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usecape][$usecape to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'statue'>>CHUK: I'm not putting that back on the statue. <<elseif $usecape == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'moon'>>CHUK: The Crystal Moon is infinitely more beautiful than any amount of gold! <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usecape][$usecape to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usecape][$usecape to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usecape][$usecape to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usecape][$usecape to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|usecape][$usecape to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'rex'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usecape][$usecape to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'ship'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usecape][$usecape to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usecape == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecape == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecape == 'posterright'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usecape][$usecape to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usecape][$usecape to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usecape][$usecape to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Cape of gold <<if $capewith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't need to cut this. <<elseif $capewith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'paint'>>CHUK: It's already gold. <<elseif $capewith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: The cape would cover the boosters' exhausts, and that's not something you should do. <<elseif $capewith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $capewith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinecape][$capewith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinecape][$capewith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinecape][$capewith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinecape][$capewith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinecape][$capewith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinecape][$capewith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinecape][$capewith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinecape][$capewith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinecape][$capewith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinecape][$capewith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinecape][$capewith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinecape][$capewith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinecape][$capewith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinecape][$capewith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinecape][$capewith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinecape][$capewith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinecape][$capewith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinecape][$capewith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinecape][$capewith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinecape][$capewith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinecape][$capewith to 'stevescard']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$capewith to 'none']]

It's a blue plastic icebox with a sticker that reads "M'zzur Ice Sandwiches. Because luxury tastes best served cold!". There are ice sandwiches inside the box. CHUK: The box is great at keeping them cold. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Icebox <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebox == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usebox == 'ena'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usebox == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think they want that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usebox][$usebox to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usebox][$usebox to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usebox][$usebox to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usebox][$usebox to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usebox][$usewatch to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usebox == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I received it in an honest trade. I'm not giving it back. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usebox][$usebox to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usebox][$usebox to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usebox][$usebox to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usebox][$usebox to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usebox == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usebox][$usebox to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usebox][$usebox to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usebox][$usebox to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebox == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usebox == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usebox][$usebox to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usebox][$usebox to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usebox][$usebox to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usebox][$usebox to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usebox][$usebox to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebox == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usebox][$usebox to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usebox][$usebox to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't open the door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usebox][$usebox to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'guard'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usebox == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usebox][$usebox to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usebox][$usebox to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usebox][$usebox to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'largepot'>>CHUK: I'm not into fusion cuisine. <<elseif $usebox == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usebox][$usebox to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usebox][$usebox to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usebox == 'petshop'>>CHUK: I wonder what would happen if I placed the icebox on the receptacle and bought something from the store. Most likely, some ice sandwiches would get squished. <<elseif $usebox == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usebox][$usebox to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usebox][$usebox to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usebox][$usebox to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'toad'>>CHUK: Toads don't eat ice sandwiches. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usebox][$usebox to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebox == 'pipes'>>CHUK: If these pipes got hot, they could defrost the icebox... But I don't want to melt the ice sandwiches. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usebox][$usebox to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usebox][$usebox to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usebox][$usebox to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebox == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usebox][$usebox to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usebox][$usebox to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usebox][$usebox to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usebox][$usebox to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebox == 'valves2'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|givesandwiches]] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usebox][$usebox to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usebox][$usebox to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usebox == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebox == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebox == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usebox][$usebox to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usebox][$usebox to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usebox][$usebox to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Icebox <<if $boxwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $boxwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $boxwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinebox][$boxwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinebox][$boxwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinebox][$boxwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinebox][$boxwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinebox][$boxwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinebox][$boxwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinebox][$boxwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinebox][$boxwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinebox][$boxwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinebox][$boxwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinebox][$boxwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinebox][$boxwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinebox][$boxwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinebox][$boxwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$boxwith to 'none']]

<<set $color to 'red'>>\ This thin book, bound in red covers, is titled "The Handbook of Insults". You open the book and flip through some pages. You discover insults so mean and vile you turn red from just reading them. CHUK: Wow... those insults sure pack a punch. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Handbook of Insults <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I actually do want to insult him, but I can't do it in public. <<elseif $usebook == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usebook == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usebook == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usebook == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult them. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usebook][$usebook to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usebook][$usebook to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usebook][$usebook to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usebook][$usebook to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usebook][$usewatch to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebook == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usebook == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usebook][$usebook to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usebook][$usebook to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usebook][$usebook to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usebook][$usebook to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usebook == 'books'>>CHUK: It doesn't belong in this library. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usebook][$usebook to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|improvebook]] [[Use with books|usebook][$usebook to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebook == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usebook == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Water would ruin the book. <<elseif $usebook == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usebook][$usebook to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usebook][$usebook to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usebook][$usebook to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usebook][$usebook to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usebook][$usebook to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usebook][$usebook to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usebook][$usebook to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'door'>>CHUK: Sadly, insulting the door won't open it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usebook][$usebook to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebook == 'grate'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usebook][$usebook to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|insultfail]] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usebook][$usebook to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usebook][$usebook to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usebook][$usebook to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usebook == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usebook][$usebook to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usebook][$usebook to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usebook][$usebook to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'toad'>>CHUK: I won't insult an innocent animal! <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usebook][$usebook to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebook == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usebook][$usebook to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usebook][$usebook to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usebook][$usebook to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usebook == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usebook][$usebook to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usebook][$usebook to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usebook][$usebook to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usebook][$usebook to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usebook == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usebook][$usebook to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usebook][$usebook to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usebook][$usebook to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usebook == 'statue'>>CHUK: Hey, listen up, you... mmm... two faced son of a snake! ... ... It's no fun with just a statue. <<elseif $usebook == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usebook == 'moon'>>CHUK: I cannot insult the holy Moon of my people. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usebook][$usebook to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usebook][$usebook to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usebook][$usebook to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Handbook of Insults <<if $bookwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to destroy the book. <<elseif $bookwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult a fake head. <<elseif $bookwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $bookwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on the book. <<elseif $bookwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult my crickets. I like them. <<elseif $bookwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $bookwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinebook][$bookwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinebook][$bookwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinebook][$bookwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinebook][$bookwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinebook][$bookwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinebook][$bookwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinebook][$bookwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinebook][$bookwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinebook][$bookwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinebook][$bookwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinebook][$bookwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinebook][$bookwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinebook][$bookwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinebook][$bookwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$bookwith to 'none']]

This is "The Handbook of Insults", improved by THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT. You open the book and look at the page with the robot's handwriting. You discover insults so stupefying and obscure you're not even sure if they're insults at all. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Improved Handbook of Insults <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'portrait'>>CHUK: I actually do want to insult him, but I can't do it in public. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'steve'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult them. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'portrait']] <<if $act <4>>\ [[Use with Steve|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'steve']] <<else>>\ <</if>>\ [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usegoodbook][$usewatch to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'robot'>>CHUK: I think this book is improved enough for now. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'books'>>CHUK: It most definitely doesn't belong in this library. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'painter'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Water would ruin the book. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'madame'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'plant']] <<if $act < 4>>\ [[Use with painter|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'painter']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Use with waterfall|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'door'>><<if $golddooropen>>CHUK: The door is already open. No need to insult it.<<else>>CHUK: Sadly, insulting the door won't open it.<</if>> <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'grate'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|insultsuccess]] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'carrots'>> CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult her. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'toad'>>CHUK: I won't insult an innocent animal! <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult him. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'statue'>>CHUK: Hey, listen up, you... mmm... uncleaned cocktail of shops! ... ... I don't even know what I'm saying. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'moon'>>CHUK: I cannot insult the holy Moon of my people. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: Insults won't help with that. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: Insults won't help with that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'rex'>>CHUK: I don't think it would understand any of the insults. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'ship'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'posterright'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $usegoodbook == 'guards'>>CHUK: It won't work on these guys. <<elseif $usegoodbook == 'chairperor'>>CHUK: They're only going to kill me sooner if I do that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|usegoodbook][$usegoodbook to 'chairperor']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Improved Handbook of Insults <<if $goodbookwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to destroy the book. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult a fake head. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'soda'>>CHUK: I don't want to spill soda on the book. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult my crickets. I like them. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult my pigeon. I like it. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goodbookwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinegoodbook][$goodbookwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$goodbookwith to 'none']]

The icebox is full of crickets, alive, but motionless. CHUK: The cold made them hibernate. They should wake up when it gets warmer. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Crickets in icebox <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'steve'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'ena'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'girl'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'quik'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usecrickets][$usewatch to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'janitor'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I'm not showing Mok-Mok-Tuk what I put inside that icebox. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'librarian'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'plant'>>CHUK: Eating that plant could cause them indigestion. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'painter'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: I don't want to drown my crickets! <<elseif $usecrickets == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'tub'>>CHUK: I don't want to drown my crickets! <<elseif $usecrickets == 'quik'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't open the door. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'guard'>>CHUK: I'm quite sure THAT wouldn't scare him away. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'largepot'>>CHUK: I don't want my crickets to end up as a source of protein for the guests. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'baron'>>CHUK: As a naturalist, what can you tell me about the crickets inside this icebox? SCHMERZKOPF: Can you open ze box? CHUK: No. That would let the cold out. SCHMERZKOPF: Oh, zo you have real polar crickets in zere? Hov abzolutely fazinating! <<elseif $usecrickets == 'petshop'>>CHUK: I don't want to return the crickets. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'toad'>>CHUK: I'm not feeding my crickets to you, toad. Forget it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'pipes'>>CHUK: If these pipes got hot, they could defrost the icebox... But I can't place it directly on the pipes. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|placecrickets]] [[Use with heating pipes|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I believe he would actually eat the crickets, since they're chilled. I don't want them to be eaten. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usecrickets == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usecrickets == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usecrickets][$usecrickets to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Crickets in icebox <<if $cricketswith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'book'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult my crickets. I like them. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult my crickets. I like them. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $cricketswith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinecrickets][$cricketswith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$cricketswith to 'none']]

An empty icebox, still cool inside. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Empty icebox <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'steve'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'ena'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'girl'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'quik'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useemptybox][$usewatch to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'janitor'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'librarian'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'painter'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: I don't want to fill it with water. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'madame'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'quik'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'guard'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $guardscared>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with guard|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'guard']] <</if>>\ <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'baron'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'bearded'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|placeemptybox]] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'toad'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'ledge'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: He's already eaten all the sandwiches from the icebox. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $useemptybox == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'phone'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useemptybox == 'moon'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|useemptybox][$useemptybox to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Empty icebox <<if $emptyboxwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'mop'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: Not a proper place to store your watch. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'paint'>>CHUK: I don't want to paint this gold. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'band'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'remote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $emptyboxwith == 'goldenremote'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $band>>[[Elastic band|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'band']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $goldenremote>>[[Golden remote control|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'goldenremote']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $mop>>[[Mop head|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'mop']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $remote>>[[Remote control|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'remote']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineemptybox][$emptyboxwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$emptyboxwith to 'none']]

A red remote control with three buttons. A sticker on its back reads: "Arena security system remote. IMPORTANT! This remote works only inside the arena dome." There are labels on the buttons as well. The left button is labelled "Electric fencing". The middle button is labelled "Auto turrets". The right button is labelled "Seat eject". [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Remote control <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useremote == 'steve'>>CHUK: Can I register this as my weapon? Steve eyes the remote control with suspicion. STEVE: Not really. I don't see how this could qualify as one. We've got rather strict guidelines, you know. Sorry, but you can't bring it to the arena. <<elseif $useremote == 'ena'>><<if $enamet>>CHUK: Lady Ena should be watching the final match, but I don't feel I can trust her with the remote. She seems to be into fair play and could think it's cheating...<<else>>CHUK: That lady's likely going to watch the final match, but I don't want to trust a stranger with operating the remote.<</if>> <<elseif $useremote == 'girl'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useremote == 'quik'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useremote][$useremote to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|useremote][$useremote to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useremote][$useremote to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useremote][$useremote to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useremote][$useremote to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this robot. <<elseif $useremote == 'janitor'>><<if $askcleaning>>CHUK: The janitor could smuggle the remote to the arena for me. But the red remote would be easily visible on the sand. Someone else could spot it and remove it before the match, or the Cybercricket could notice and destroy it…<<else>>CHUK: I wonder if he ever cleans up the arena. Maybe he could smuggle this for me on the occasion?<</if>> <<elseif $useremote == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useremote == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: This guy should be watching the final match... but I don't feel I could really trust it with operating the remote. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useremote][$useremote to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useremote][$useremote to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useremote][$useremote to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|useremote][$useremote to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'librarian'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useremote == 'robot'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this robot. <<elseif $useremote == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useremote][$useremote to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useremote][$useremote to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useremote][$useremote to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useremote == 'painter'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useremote == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Water would damage the remote. <<elseif $useremote == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useremote][$useremote to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|useremote][$useremote to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|useremote][$useremote to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|useremote][$useremote to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useremote][$useremote to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useremote == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useremote][$useremote to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|useremote][$useremote to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'door'>>You press the button on the remote. As expected, the door does not open. CHUK: Well, it was worth trying... <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|useremote][$useremote to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this machine. <<elseif $useremote == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useremote][$useremote to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|useremote][$useremote to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useremote == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useremote][$useremote to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|useremote][$useremote to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'baron'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useremote == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this machine. <<elseif $useremote == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I won't trust her with the remote. I don't even know if she's planning to watch the final match. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useremote][$useremote to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|useremote][$useremote to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|useremote][$useremote to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'toad'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useremote][$useremote to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'bars'>>CHUK: I could leave the remote here and grab it from the arena… but it won't fit through these bars. Besides, I'd have to get through the fencing to reach it. No, I have to find another way. <<elseif $useremote == 'ledge'>>CHUK: I could leave the remote here and grab it from the arena… but it won't fit through these bars. Besides, I'd have to get through the fencing to reach it. No, I have to find another way. <<elseif $useremote == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useremote][$useremote to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useremote][$useremote to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useremote][$useremote to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Strange... the remote doesn't work on the crystal ball. <<elseif $useremote == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useremote == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|useremote][$useremote to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useremote][$useremote to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useremote][$useremote to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useremote][$useremote to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useremote == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $useremote == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useremote][$useremote to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useremote][$useremote to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useremote][$useremote to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $useremote == 'statue'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useremote == 'phone'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this phone. <<elseif $useremote == 'moon'>>CHUK: If only I could press a button and send the Crystal Moon back to its orbit over Gyff... <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|useremote][$useremote to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|useremote][$useremote to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|useremote][$useremote to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Remote control <<if $remotewith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: I don't want to mess with this remote. <<elseif $remotewith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $remotewith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combineremote][$remotewith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combineremote][$remotewith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combineremote][$remotewith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combineremote][$remotewith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineremote][$remotewith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|paintwithremote]] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combineremote][$remotewith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combineremote][$remotewith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combineremote][$remotewith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combineremote][$remotewith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineremote][$remotewith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineremote][$remotewith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineremote][$remotewith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineremote][$remotewith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$remotewith to 'none']]

A red remote control with three buttons. A sticker on its back reads: "Arena security system remote. IMPORTANT! This remote works only inside the arena dome." There are labels on the buttons as well, but they're covered with gold paint. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Golden remote control <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'steve'>>CHUK: Can I register this as my weapon? Steve eyes the remote control with suspicion. STEVE: Not really. I don't see how this could qualify as one. We've got rather strict guidelines, you know. Sorry, but you can't bring it to the arena. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'ena'>><<if $enamet>>CHUK: Lady Ena should be watching the final match, but I don't feel I can trust her with the remote. She seems to be into fair play and could think it's cheating...<<else>>CHUK: That lady's likely going to watch the final match, but I don't want to trust a stranger with operating the remote.<</if>> <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'girl'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'quik'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'portrait']] [[Use with Steve|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'steve']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this robot. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I wonder if he ever cleans up the arena. Maybe he could smuggle this for me on the occasion? <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: This guy should be watching the final match... but I don't feel I could really trust it with operating the remote. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'securibot']] <<if $askcleaning>> [[Use with janitor|giveremote]] <<else>> [[Use with janitor|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'janitor']] <</if>>\ [[Use with metal bar|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'librarian'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'robot'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this robot. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'painter'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Water would damage the remote. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'madame'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'plant']] [[Use with painter|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'painter']] [[Use with waterfall|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'waterfall']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with fortune teller|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'madame']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'door'>>You press the button on the remote. As expected, the door does not open. CHUK: Well, it was worth trying... <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this machine. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'grate'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'vendingmachine']] <<if $grateremoved>>\ <<else>>\ [[Use with metal grate|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'grate']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'baron'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this machine. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'bearded'>>CHUK: I won't trust her with the remote. I don't even know if she's planning to watch the final match. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'petshop']] <<if $act == 3>>\ [[Use with bearded alien|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'bearded']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'toad'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'bars'>>CHUK: I could leave the remote here and grab it from the arena… but it won't fit through these bars. Besides, I'd have to get through the fencing to reach it. No, I have to find another way. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'ledge'>>CHUK: I could leave the remote here and grab it from the arena… but it won't fit through these bars. Besides, I'd have to get through the fencing to reach it. No, I have to find another way. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Strange... the remote doesn't work on the crystal ball. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'valves'>>CHUK: That won't turn on the boiler. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'valves2'>>CHUK: I've no reason to mess with the valves now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'mechanic']] <<if $aftericecream>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'valves2']] <<else>>\ [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'valves']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usegoldenremote == 'statue'>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'phone'>>CHUK: That's not a remote for this phone. <<elseif $usegoldenremote == 'moon'>>CHUK: If only I could press a button and send the Crystal Moon back to its orbit over Gyff... <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usegoldenremote][$usegoldenremote to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Golden remote control <<if $goldenremotewith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: I don't want to mess with this remote. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'paint'>>CHUK: It's already gold. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'soda'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'box'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'book'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'crickets'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $goldenremotewith == 'emptybox'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $crickets>>[[Crickets in icebox|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'crickets']] <</if>>\ <<if $emptybox>>[[Empty icebox|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'emptybox']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $paint>>[[Gold spray paint|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'paint']] <</if>>\ <<if $book>>[[Handbook of Insults|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'book']] <</if>>\ <<if $box>>[[Icebox|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'box']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $soda>>[[M'zzur Soda|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'soda']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinegoldenremote][$goldenremotewith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$goldenremotewith to 'none']]

<<set $remote to false>><<set $paint to false>><<set $goldenremote to true>>\ CHUK: What can't be improved by a little gold paint? … Answer: a lot of things. But this remote sure can. You generously spray the remote with paint, using up what was left in the can. Item lost: Gold spray paint Item lost: Remote control Item received: Golden remote control [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

<<set $soda to false>><<set $box to true>><<set $boxtaken to true>>\ CHUK: Do you want to trade your ice sandwiches for this delicious, low calories, room temperature M'zzur soda? MOK-MOK-TUK: A diet soda? Sure, give it to me! You hand the bottle to the alien, who grabs it hungrily. MOK-MOK-TUK: Finally, something to cool me down! … Waaait a moment! This bottle has been opened before! CHUK: Of course it was! Haven't you heard about the Limited Edition M'zzur Soda? Only 100 bottles were produced, and the Chairperor personally drank a sip from each of them! This is a priceless collector's item! Mok-Mok-Tuk's six eyes grow large with surprise. MOK-MOK-TUK: Amazing! And you're just willing to trade it? Here, take my sandwiches! Take them NOW! Item lost: M'zzur Soda Item received: Icebox MOK-MOK-TUK: Finally, I can enjoy a refreshment! It brings the bottle to its mouth, then puts it back down. MOK-MOK-TUK: ...but how could I drink one of only 100 Limited Edition M'zzur Sodas, that was graced by the touch of His Majesty's saliva? This bottle belongs in a museum! Or in my collection of M'zzurmorabilia! Oh, no! I want to drink it, but I cannot! You take the icebox and leave Mok-Mok-Tuk to its new dilemma. [[Continue|easterncorridor]]

<<set $cape to false>><<set $capegiven to true>>\ <<if $act > 3>><<set $needfuel to true>>\<</if>>\ You wave at a passing Quik, pull out the gold cape and hand it over. CHUK: Here. I found you some real gold foil. Item lost: Cape of gold The Quik jumps and claps its hands. QUIK: You find it! You friend of Quik, help Quik so very much! It carefully folds the cape. QUIK: Um… Quik maybe need one more help thing later? Maybe you come later and see, please? [[What do you need all these things for, anyway?|whatfor]] [[End conversation|mainlobby]]

<<set $cape to false>><<set $capegiven to true>>\ <<if $act > 3>><<set $needfuel to true>>\<</if>>\ You unfold the gold cape and hand it to the Quik mechanic. CHUK: Here. I found you some real gold foil. Item lost: Cape of gold The Quik claps its hands excitedly. QUIK: You did! You help Quik so much, all Quik in your debt! Thank you! After a short pause, it adds: QUIK: Quik maybe need one more thing later, if cannot find where it looks. If it be like this, you help Quik one more time? CHUK: I'll think about that. QUIK: Good! You great friend of the Quik! [[What do you need all these things for, anyway?|mwhatfor]] [[I'll be going.|quikroom]]

<<set $box to false>><<set $emptybox to true>><<set $icecreamgiven to true>>\ CHUK: Here. These ice sandwiches should help you cool off. MECHANIC: That's… huff... all for me? Thanks a lot, pal! You're a lifesaver! Item lost: Icebox He opens the icebox and devours all twelve sandwiches, one by one. When he's done, a smile of bliss appears on his face. MECHANIC: Just what I needed. I'm in your debt, little warrior. Here, your box. Item received: Empty icebox You take the empty box and close it. CHUK: I'd better keep the cool inside. Might be useful later. [[Continue|boilerroom]]

<<set $book to false>><<set $goodbook to true>>\ <<if $inventingwords>>\ <<else>><<set $inventingwords to true>><<set $deathstalkedtoagain to true>>\ CHUK: Seems you like reading. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Oh, yes! I, THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT, love reading! I can learn new words this way, and the only thing better than learning words is inventing words! CHUK: Seriously? That's great! Take a look! <</if>>\ THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: What's that? CHUK: I brought you a new book to read! Would you like to – THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Sure! Item lost: Handbook of Insults That's Death's Robot pulls the book out of your hands. Its eyes emit a beam of red light as it flicks through the pages. A few seconds later it flips the final page. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: My, that was interesting! And a bit rude, I think. I've learned a ton of new words, but I'm not sure if I'm even allowed to say them! CHUK: You liked it? THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Sure! I love anything that expands my vocabulary, you sorry scumbag from Hell's cesspool! CHUK: ...No, you're not allowed to say them. The robot emits a screeching sigh. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: I was afraid you'd say so. CHUK: But you can write them down – that won't offend anyone! You're good at inventing new words and names; if you made up more phrases like these and wrote them on the flyleaf, that would greatly improve the book! THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT's eyes gleam with excitement. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Oooh – you really think so? CHUK: Absolutely! The robot squeals with joy. It removes the tip of its right index finger, revealing a ball pen, and starts frantically scribbling on the blank page. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Ooooh, so many new words! So many new ideas! I should add this… this sounds great… that's not so good… I wonder if those letters should ever go together… Well, you won't learn a thing without trying… Ta-daa! It hands you the book. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: There you go! I believe I've improved it very much! Item received: Improved Handbook of Insults [[Continue|library]]

<<set $booktried to true>>\ <<if $learnweakness == true>>\ <<else>>\ CHUK: I'll never get past this guy using brute force. So... maybe psychological warfare is going to work? <</if>>\ You flip the book open, take a deep breath and commence the insult barrage. CHUK: You slimy sediment from the bottom of genetic pool! ROYAL GUARD: Huh? What did you just say, sir? CHUK: Yes! It's working! You buyer of second-hand birthday cakes! ROYAL GUARD: What do you mean, "working"? Sir? CHUK: You're giving in to my insults! You foul-smelling, shrink-brained, good-for-nothing ruffian! ROYAL GUARD: Oh, no, sir! Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not affected in the slightest. It just caught my attention that you're using the Handbook of Insults. A most wonderful publication. I've used up three copies during my insult resistance training. I've had my sparring partner read all the invectives at me, and I've steeled myself against them. CHUK: …darn. You're so annoying! ROYAL GUARD: Please, stop, sir. You're just wasting your time. CHUK: Wha-? Oh, that wasn't supposed to be an insult. Sorry. [[Continue|northwesterncorridor]]

<<set $guardscared to true>>\ <<if $booktried>>\ <<elseif $learnweakness>>\ <<else>>\ CHUK: I'll never get past this guy using brute force. So... maybe psychological warfare is going to work? <</if>>\ You pull out the Handbook of Insults improved by That's Death's Robot. <<if $booktried>> The Royal Guard sighs heavily. ROYAL GUARD: Again? I've told you, these insults don't work on me. Sir. <</if>>\ You open the book on the page with Robot's scribblings and commence the barrage. CHUK: You… huh? Oh. You fat and tired and fat (fat) bad business guy! The Royal Guard starts to tremble. ROYAL GUARD: W-what? I-I don't understand! CHUK: You fish-headed sea cousin! You slag of rascally and rotten! ROYAL GUARD: I-I wasn't trained for this! CHUK: You self-important doorstep because! You stupid douche like a pig in a microwave! ROYAL GUARD: Stop, please, just stop! DON'T SAY THOSE MEAN THINGS! CHUK: You lunatically smug mouth and feeling! You owner of a sump! ROYAL GUARD: NOOO! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! CHUK: YOU TART! The guard screams in terror and runs away at full speed, disappearing in the guest wing corridor. CHUK: I'm not quite sure what I said, but it worked! [[Continue|northwesterncorridor]]

<<set $crickets to false>><<set $cricketsset to true>>\ You place the icebox on the ledge, just behind the bars and close to the heating pipes. Item lost: Crickets in icebox CHUK: Looks like the perfect place for an icebox full of crickets. [[Continue|venttunnel]]

<<set $emptybox to false>><<set $boxinbooth to true>>\ You place the empty, closed icebox on the blue booth's receptacle. Item lost: Empty icebox CHUK: If I buy something now, it should be transported directly into the box. At least I hope so. [[Back|westerncorridor]]

<<set $goldenremote to false>><<set $remoteset to true>>\ CHUK: The janitor could smuggle the remote control to the arena for me. The golden remote will be barely visible on the sand. Only I'll know it's there. You walk up to the janitor. CHUK: Excuse me, you said you were cleaning the arena before each fight, right? JANITOR: Yup. CHUK: Could you take this, and leave it near the centre of the arena before the final match? JANITOR: Sure. CHUK: Wait, what? Did you just agree? No questions, no conditions? The janitor just shrugs. CHUK: Well... Great! You hand over the remote. Item lost: Golden remote control CHUK: Thanks a lot! You've really helped me out. The janitor pockets the remote, nods and dozes off. [[Continue|easterncorridor]]

<<set $screwdriver to true>>\ You walk to a cushioned sofa and sit down on something hard. CHUK: Ouch! Who left that here? You pick up a red screwdriver you sat on. Item received: Screwdriver [[Continue|introact3_0]]

<<set $act to 3>><<set $meetgreen to true>><<set $meetbearded to true>><<set $madamein to false>><<if $watchgiven>><<set $needcape to true>><</if>>\ After a couple of minutes Steve enters the vestibule from the Announcer's Booth. He's talking on his phone and doesn't notice you. STEVE: …and I've just got an incredible offer on that, General. They want to go full in – clothing, action figures, energy drinks. We must sign the deal before it's too late. He listens to an answer you cannot hear. STEVE: But why, General? No disrespect meant, but we're going to lose big time on potential sales. … STEVE: I am sorry, General. I won't question His Majesty's orders. Still, I would like to know his motivation, as… He pulls the phone back from his ear as General Vox starts screaming in rage. GENERAL VOX: I SAID NO, AND THAT SHOULD SUFFICE! WE DON'T NEED MERCHANDISE! NO T-SHIRTS, NO CUPS AND NO STUPID "GLADIATOR ACTION FIGURES"! AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW HIS MAJESTY'S REASONS! ONE MORE QUESTION AND YOU'RE FIRED! General Vox hangs up. Steve sighs nervously and walks out of the vestibule. You wait a little longer and leave as well, reflecting on what you've heard. [[Continue|mainlobby]]

<<if $crickethintsagain>>\ STEVE: I'm sorry, friend, but I have no idea. That guy is a killing machine, so better start working those brain cells and come up with some crazy plan. I… uh, I'm actually surprised to admit it, but if anyone can defeat the Cybercricket, I think it might be you. [[Back|talktosteve]] <<else>><<set $crickethintsagain to true>>\ STEVE: You know, I'm not supposed to, but I'd tell you that. If I knew. I'm not okay with a man… a thing like the Cybercricket winning the tournament. CHUK: I'm not okay with him murdering me. I've seen what he tried to do to Abnormal Joe. Steve's smile disappears. He's looking grim, and frustrated, now. STEVE: Uh, well… Yeah, the guy is a bloodthirsty maniac. Unfortunately, killing your opponent is not really against the rules, it's just that most athletes… well, everyone but the Cricket… chooses not to. Everyone but him understands it's a sporting event, not some bloody... tribal war. CHUK: Can't you do something about him, then? STEVE: No. Sorry. I didn't make those rules; he did. He points his thumb at the Chairperor's portrait. STEVE: You were great so far, Chuk. But I'll understand if you forfeit the match. A shot at the grand prize isn't worth risking your life. He sounds dead serious. A shiver runs down your spine, but you muster up the courage and answer: CHUK: I've made up my mind already. I'm going to fight. Steve doesn't look fully convinced – but he is impressed by your determination. STEVE: Good luck, then. Start working those brain cells and surprise us with some brilliant plan, okay? And if… if something goes wrong – many gladiators are going to watch the finals, and they'll come to your help, just like they did for Joe. [[Back|talktosteve]] <</if>>

STEVE: Don't get me started on that. He's not only generating costs, but also putting the audience in danger. I need to have that bar replaced before the final match. And I'm super worried about security this time, because the Chairperor himself will be there. I hope His Majesty will bring his security remote control with him. [[A security remote control?|securityremote]] [[Aren't you worried about other fighters as well?|otherfighters]] [[Back|talktosteve]]

STEVE: Yes, His Majesty intends to watch the fight from his loge. And if you win, you'll have the honour of speaking with him during the award ceremony. CHUK: I'd better start working on winning, then. I really need to chat with M'zzur. Steve grimaces. STEVE: You don't "chat" with M'z… the Chairperor, Chuk. You'll have to follow the protocol. If I remember correctly, your lines are going to be "Thank you, Your Majesty" and "I'm deeply honoured, Your Majesty." But we'll worry about that when you've actually won, okay? [[Back|talktosteve]]

STEVE: Yes. We expected some antics from the gladiators, so we had a high-voltage system connected to the fencing to ensure the Chairperor's safety when he's in his loge. I wish I had access to the remote that controls the system, but to avoid abusing it, General Vox only ordered a single unit and sent it straight to His Majesty. That way, no one can use it against His Majesty, however that could be possible. [[Aren't you worried about other fighters as well?|otherfighters]] [[Back|talktosteve]]

Steve smiles, as always when he's going to present M'zzur Enterprises corporate policy. STEVE: I'm not happy at all to see the Cricket bash people's heads in with a steel bar, Chuk, but M'zzur Enterprises cannot be held responsible for what happens in the arena. This is a dangerous sport, and those who enter the tournament knew what risk they were taking. That's part of the excitement, the authenticity! After a short pause, he adds, this time without the smile: STEVE: But I wish we could do something about jerks attempting to kill other participants. Like, shoot them with an electric stun gun. [[A security remote control?|securityremote]] [[Back|talktosteve]]

As you finish our question, Lady Ena trembles as if in fear or anger. Most of her eyes disappear, leaving a single one in the middle of her face. ENA: The Cybercricket is a very bad person, Mr. Chuk. I hope you will beat him; it would be horrible if he won the tournament! CHUK: Why do you… dislike him so much? Lady Ena produces three more eyes, which get glassy with tears. ENA: Haven't you heard, Mr. Chuk? He killed one of his opponents! Murdered him in cold blood after the match was already over! Tell me, what kind of person, what beast does something like that? I'm afraid of him, Mr. Chuk, and I hope you will teach him a lesson! But please, be careful! [[Back|enaquestions]]

<<set $questcape to true>><<set $needcape to false>>\ QUIK: Thank you so very great! It bows to you, then turns on its heel and runs away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

<<set $questcape to true>><<set $needcape to false>>\ QUIK: Quik know you very busy, but you help Quik so much before! It important, believe please! If you find anyway, please, bring to Quik! It bows to you, then turns on its heel and runs away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

You wave at a passing Quik and show it the gold paint. CHUK: Will that do instead of gold foil? You can paint whatever you want with it. The Quik casts a quick glance at the can and shakes its head. QUIK: Quik sorry, this no good. No real gold in it. Must be real gold. CHUK: Whew! You sure have high standards! The Quik explains, apologetically: QUIK: Quik know it big problem… But gold must be real, or it no work… It turns around and runs away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

The Quik lowers it voice. QUIK: Quik cannot tell now. Someone maybe listen! But it important thing, good thing that Quik build! CHUK: I hope I won't regret helping you out… QUIK: No, no! Quik not do anything bad! Please, believe Quik! [[End conversation|mainlobby]]

<<if $raxlamet && $beardon && $raxlametwithbeard && $color == 'grey'>>\ RAXLA: It's you again, Chwk! Are you behaving yourself? [[Why didn't you and your students take the same flight?|flightbeard]] <<if $handbooktaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Can I borrow your Encyclopaedia?|getbook]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go. Goodbye, headmistress Raxla!|westerncorridor]] <<elseif $raxlamet && $beardon && $color == 'grey'>><<set $raxlametwithbeard to true>>\ Headmistress Raxla squints her eyes at you, then smiles with relief, but her expression quickly changes into a frown. RAXLA: Axazz mrz ghom vrn rwk! Wrnm tlzlx mrz hn hnwr? CHUK: Hnwr… Umm… Excuse me, but can we speak Galaxian? Because… I wanted to use this trip to practice? Headmistress Raxla looks at you approvingly. RAXLA: Oh, that is commendable! As I always say, every occasion is good to study a language, even if no other language is nearly as interesting as Xlxian. All right, let's start over then! Ahem! You're late! Where are the other students? You've got some explaining to do, young man! CHUK: Excuse me? I am not one of your students. I'm here with – with my uncle. I just saw another Xlxian and… came to say "hello". In Galaxian. Who are you? RAXLA: I'm headmistress Raxla. And you, young man, are...? CHUK: My name is… is Chwk. RAXLA: Well, hello, Chwk. I hope that you learn a lot here, and obey your uncle. Don't let the bad example of the aliens affect your manners. By the way, have you seen my students anywhere? They're going to miss the finals! [[Why didn't you and your students take the same flight?|flightbeard]] <<if $handbooktaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Can I borrow your Encyclopaedia?|getbook]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go. Goodbye, headmistress Raxla!|westerncorridor]] <<elseif $raxlamet && $beardon>>\ Headmistress Raxla smiles at you, but the smile quickly fades from her face, replaced with a look of disappointment. RAXLA: For a moment there, I thought you might be one of my students, but it's impossible with that $color skin of yours… Well, let me tell you, you have quite a nice beard for a non-Xlxian. And, coming from me, that's a high compliment. By the way, have you seen my students anywhere? They're going to miss the finals! [[Why didn't you and your students take the same flight?|flight]] [[Why are you taking children to a fighting tournament?|children]] [[You have a nice beard.|nicebeard]] <<if $handbooktaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Can I borrow your book?|borrowhandbook]] [[Why did you take The Handbook of Insults with you to the tournament?|whyinsults]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go. See you!|westerncorridor]] <<elseif $raxlamet>>\ RAXLA: Have you seen my students? They're going to miss the finals! [[Why didn't you and your students take the same flight?|flight]] [[Why are you taking children to a fighting tournament?|children]] [[You have a nice beard.|nicebeard]] <<if $handbooktaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Can I borrow your book?|borrowhandbook]] [[Why did you take The Handbook of Insults with you to the tournament?|whyinsults]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go. See you!|westerncorridor]] <<else>><<set $raxlamet to true>>\ As you pass by, the bearded alien calls out to you in a high-pitched, squeaky voice. ALIEN: Excuse me! Excuse me! Yes, I'm talking to you! Have you finally found my students? CHUK: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for them. ALIEN: What? That's outrageous! You promised me you'd find them! I'll report you to your manager! How can staff be so unfriendly and unhelpful? You… you zrx! CHUK: I'm not a staff member. What happened to your students, anyway? And who are you? The alien squints at you. ALIEN: Oh – you're right. I thought you were that balding human… Excuse me. Let me introduce myself. I'm headmistress Raxla from Xlx. As Headmistress Raxla is talking, your attention is caught by the red book lying next to her. Somewhat surprised, you discover it's titled The Handbook of Insults. ALIEN: ...and their shuttle was scheduled to arrive hours ago! We were supposed to watch the finals, but with such delays, my students are going to miss everything! [[Why didn't you and your students take the same flight?|flight]] [[Why are you taking children to a fighting tournament?|children]] [[You have a nice beard.|nicebeard]] <<if $handbooktaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Can I borrow your book?|borrowhandbook]] [[Why did you take The Handbook of Insults with you to the tournament?|whyinsults]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go. See you!|westerncorridor]] <</if>>

SCHMERZKOPF: Ah! Ze Zybercricket! A most mysterious man – or, should I say, zyborg? Vat is ze zource of his power? Vy does he have a strange relationship with crickets? Zose are all questions that beg answers! Alas! Vorking on my book, I am var too busy to investigate ze matter! [[Back|baronquestions]]

<<set $beardon to false>>\ CHUK: I'd better take off this silly fake beard before I go there. Don't want to raise any questions. You take off the beard. [[Continue|fortuneroom]]

RAXLA: Oh, that would be unthinkable! Students shouldn't fly a first-class shuttle, this could get into their heads! I, on the other hand, as a headmistress cannot accept anything less than first class. [[Back|raxlaquestions]]

RAXLA: Why? What a strange question! Of course, so that they can… lnxurr… oh, it's so hard to express some ideas in Galaxian. They were supposed to… get educated about the refinement of Xlxian culture by observing other races and their simpler forms of entertainment. But right now they're just learning about their lack of punctuality! [[Back|raxlaquestions]]

Headmistress Raxla strokes her beard with a satisfied smile. RAXLA: Thank you! We, Xlxians, take great pride in our beautiful beards. I feel sorry for all the races without beards, or with only grown males bearded. [[Are your students bearded, too?|childrenbeards]] [[Back|raxlaquestions]]

RAXLA: That is out of the question, I'm afraid. I only lend my Encyclopaedia to Xlxian students, and you don't look like one to me! CHUK: I need to <<if $xlxread && $tzylxx>>tzylxx<<else>>trick<</if>> her somehow if I want to get my hands on that book! [[Back|raxlaquestions]]

RAXLA: Excuse me? I'd never take such a scandalous book with me; it could have an unsavory influence on my students! Why would you even suggest such a thing? What I have with me is a Xlxian Encyclopaedia! I do not need it for myself; it's for my students, to help them understand some of the alien creatures and concepts they are going to see on their krzha! If they ever arrive, that is. The headmistress looks at the book in red cover, squinting hard. RAXLA: Yes, I'm quite sure that is an Encyclopaedia. [[Back|raxlaquestions]]

[[Why didn't you and your students take the same flight?|flight]] [[Why are you taking children to a fighting tournament?|children]] [[You have a nice beard.|nicebeard]] <<if $handbooktaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Can I borrow your book?|borrowhandbook]] [[Why did you take The Handbook of Insults with you to the tournament?|whyinsults]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go. See you!|westerncorridor]]

RAXLA: But of course! How dare you suggest it's any different? I'm running a reputable school. We do not allow… She lowers her voice to a whisper, as if she was going to say something highly indecent. RAXLA: We do not allow shaving! [[Back|raxlaquestions]]

RAXLA: How can you suggest something so… so inappropriate? I'd like to talk to your uncle sometime; seems to me he's neglecting your education! [[Back|raxla questionsbeard]]

<<set $book to true>><<set $handbooktaken to true>>\ RAXLA: Well… I'm keeping it for my students… CHUK: Just for a moment, headmistress! There is a place on this ship called a "Casino and Bar", and many aliens go there. I wanted to look up "Casino and Bar" in an Encyclopaedia, because I'm not sure what that is and if I should go there as well. It looks like a lot of fun, but… RAXLA: Goodness gracious! Here, Chwk, take this book and read everything about the demons of hazard and drinking. I'd never forgive myself if an innocent Xlxian child fell to alien addictions when I could have prevented that! Go on, take the Encyclopaedia and look up everything that seems suspicious to you. When in doubt, never, ever imitate the aliens. Item received: Handbook of Insults [[Thank you, headmistress Raxla, and goodbye!|westerncorridor]]

[[Why didn't you and your students take the same flight?|flightbeard]] <<if $handbooktaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Can I borrow your Encyclopaedia?|getbook]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go. Goodbye, headmistress Raxla!|westerncorridor]]

LIBRARIAN: Mmm? Did I just hear a cricket? ...No, that's impossible. But then, why am I thinking about crickets all of a sudden? [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: Oh, no! They were all taken and never returned! People have no respect for books, or for my job! My poor, poor books! [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: NO! THEY'RE ALL GONE, AND YOU SHOULD BE AS WELL, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO PERSONALLY THROW YOU OUT! [[Back|redask]]

LIBRARIAN: We used to, but not anymore, I'm afraid. CHUK: What happened? LIBRARIAN: Well, a gladiator by the name of Cybercricket borrowed every single one of them a couple of days ago. Later that day he came back and told me he destroyed all these books by accident! When I asked what exactly had happened, he got very unpleasant, even told me not to stick my proboscis in other people's business! But he paid for the destroyed books, so we'll be able to replace them once we arrive at a spaceport. [[Back|greenask]]

LIBRARIAN: (yawns) Sometimes I think they simply insult me by forcing me to do all this boring work… [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: And why would you need a book like that? To put me down even more? You're so cruel! [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: WHAAAT? YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN HOW TO ANNOY ME EVEN MORE, EH? GET OUT! [[Back|redask]]

LIBRARIAN: Oh, no! We're not allowing any rude or offensive books here! [[Back|greenask]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Oooh, crickets! What amazing critters they are! Funny you should ask that, because, yes, I stumbled upon a book about crickets a few days ago and it was simply fascinating, so I read the whole thing. I've barely finished when that Cybercricket guy stormed in and carried it away! CHUK: Can you share any fascinating cricket facts with me? THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Sure! What do you want to know? [[Do all crickets chirp?|chirping]] [[What weaknesses do crickets have?|cricketsweak]] [[Do all crickets have… radio antennas on their heads?|antennas]] [[Enough about crickets.|deathsquestions]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: No! Only males! It's called stridulation; they scrap their legs together to make noise and attract females! But they will only chirp when it's warm enough! When it gets cold, they're too sleepy to make love! [[Back|deathscrickets]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: A great many of them! They have a whole lot of predators. Like spiders, and lizards, and birds, and rodents, and humans! I think they're also weak to fire, being smashed by heavy objects, having nothing to eat for a very, very long time, electric shocks, chainsaws, mild emotional abuse, gunfire, pesticides, flooding, being hit by cars, hand grenades, toxic gasses, volcanic eruptions… CHUK: Okay, okay! Stop! Stop! THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: I thought you wanted to know about their weaknesses. I'm just trying to help you here. CHUK: Oh, you've helped enough. [[Back|deathscrickets]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Well, they do have antennae they use to sense their surroundings, but those are not radio antennas, you know. They only look a bit similar, which likely confused you. CHUK: So that means those crickets were cyborgs, created to kill. Great. [[Back|deathscrickets]]

<<if $color == 'blue' && $fakeheadon>>\ The green alien just looks at you with contempt and tells you to get back to your work and stop being a nuisance. [[Back.|easterncorridor]] <<else>>\ <<if $act == 4>>MOK-MOK-TUK: Oh, it's you! The Grand Champion! You've won the tournament and are going to meet with the Chairperor! You don't even know how lucky you are! Why can't this be me? Life is so unfair! It goes into a lengthy tirade on why it should be immediately granted a personal audience with Chairperor M'zzur. [[Well, guess I'll just leave you to your problems.|easterncorridor]] <<else>><<if $greentalkedto == true>>\ Mok-Mok-Tuk looks at you and sighs. MOK-MOK-TUK: Oh, whatever should I do? <<else>><<set $greentalkedto to true>>\ The green alien is awkwardly sitting on a cushioned bench near the passage to the arena lobby for guests, making bubbling noises which you interpret as sighing. Next to the alien you see a square, blue, plastic icebox with a fancy sticker that reads "M'zzur Ice Sandwiches. Because luxury tastes best served cold!". The alien makes a loud, bubbling noise when it notices you. When it opens its mouth, it turns out it speaks fluent Galaxian, albeit with a lot of gurgling and bubbling sounds. ALIEN: Greetings, fellow creature. I'm Mok-Mok-Tuk. Who are you? CHUK: I'm Chuk! MOK-MOK-TUK: Chuk? Chuk? Oh, now I remember! I've seen you! You're one of the tournament finalists! How exciting! Somehow, Mok-Mok-Tuk doesn't sound excited at all. You feel like it's simply trying hard to be polite. <</if>>\ [[I guess you're here to see the tournament?|greenwatch]] [[Why are you so down?|whydown]] <<if $boxtaken == false && $whydown == true>>\ [[Can I have these ice sandwiches?|takeice]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go.|easterncorridor]] <</if>> <</if>>\

MOK-MOK-TUK: You guessed wrong! Well, yes, I watch the fights, but the true reason I'm here is to see HIM! CHUK: Whom? The alien seems shocked at your ignorance. MOK-MOK-TUK: Whom?! His Majesty Chairperor M'zzur, of course! Who else would I want to see, but the master of the galaxy, liberator of countless planets, our beloved leader and chairman of M'zzur Enterprises? I'll never get another opportunity to be so close to him! Ooohh, I hope I'll have a good place at the award ceremony! He glances at you enviously. MOK-MOK-TUK: Of course, if you win the final match, you'll get the best place of all. Oh, why can't I be a great warrior? Life's so unfair. [[Back|greenquestions]]

<<if $boxtaken>>\ MOK-MOK-TUK: I have a soda, and I want to drink it! But how could I drink one of only 100 Limited Edition M'zzur Sodas, that was graced by the touch of His Majesty's saliva? This bottle belongs in a museum! Or in my collection of M'zzurmorabilia! Oh, no! Whatever should I do? [[Back|greenquestions]] <<else>>\ <<set $whydown to true>>\ MOK-MOK-TUK: I'm exhausted! It's so hot and stuffy here! I desperately need some refreshments. CHUK: You have a whole box of ice sandwiches there! Why don't you eat them? MOK-MOK-TUK: That's the big problem! I bought them on a whim, and I'd really love to eat them, but I must watch my calories! We Quudibs gain weight easily and I don't want my mid-section to get all fat and blubbery! Oh, I can't eat these sandwiches, but I really want to! I'm torn! [[Back|greenquestions]] <</if>>\

<<set $whydown to true>>\ MOK-MOK-TUK: NO! I want them! CHUK: But you said yourself you shouldn't really eat them… MOK-MOK-TUK: I know I shouldn't, but I need some refreshments! Oh, whatever should I do? Mok-Mok-Tuk sighs, casting a longing look at the icebox. [[Back|greenquestions]]

[[I guess you're here to see the tournament?|greenwatch]] [[Why are you so down?|whydown]] <<if $boxtaken == false && $whydown == true>>\ [[Can I have these ice sandwiches?|takeice]] <</if>>\ [[I have to go.|easterncorridor]]

<<if $madameandpainteragain>>\ CHUK: Naah. They have business to talk over. I won't bother them. [[Back|conservatory]] <<else>><<set $madameandpainteragain to true>>\ CHUK: Hi there! How's going? MADAME GOLGADUL: Oh, it's you, Chuk! Sylvia and I were just discussing our plans for a new tarot deck design. I was so impressed by that portrait of yours I simply had to find the author and – who would've thought! – she agreed to paint custom cards for me! PAINTER: I couldn't refuse a charming girl like you! Not to mention I'd love to paint over M'zzur's ugly face! They both start laughing and return to their conversation. [[Back|conservatory]] <</if>>

<<set $questcape to true>><<set $needcape to false>>\ QUIK: You important, busy person, Quik know! But foil important, too. Maybe you find some anyway? If you find, please, bring it to Quik! [[Continue|quikroom]]

<<set $questcape to true>><<set $needcape to false>>\ QUIK: Thank you! Many obliged! [[Continue|quikroom]]

You show the paint can to the Quik mechanic. CHUK: Will that do instead of gold foil? You can paint whatever you want with it. The Quik casts a quick glance at the can and shakes its head. QUIK: Quik sorry, this no good. No real gold in it. Must be real gold. CHUK: Whew! You sure have high standards! QUIK: Quik know real gold difficult to find… But must be real, or not work. [[Back|quikroom]]

The mechanic lowers it voice. QUIK: Quik cannot tell now. Who knows who listen? But it mighty important, what Quik construct! CHUK: I hope I won't regret helping you out… QUIK: No, no! Quik not do anything bad! Please, believe Quik! [[I'll be going.|quikroom]]

A quick examination of the penthouse reveals that no one has stayed here for a very long time. You find no clothes and no personal belongings of the Chairperor. There is a lot of dust accumulated on the furniture and on the purple bedspread which covers the giant bed in the corner. CHUK: But… they told me Chairperor M'zzur is staying here, and will watch the final match! Why did they lie? Is he somewhere else on the Perfect Paradise, for safety reasons? Or is he not aboard at all? [[Back|penthouse]]

The statue is an accurate image of Chairperor M'zzur, down to his vain smile. It's made of solid gold and polished so highly you can see your distorted image reflected in it. The elaborate crown and robes are sculpted with much detail.<<if $capetaken>>\<<else>> Only the statue's cape is not sculpted; it is made of thin, flowing gold foil.<</if>> There is a plaque on the base of the statue. [[Read the plaque|readstatue]] <<if $capetaken>>\ <<else>>\ [[Take the gold cape|takecape]] <</if>>\ [[Back|penthouse]]

The Crystal Moon shines brightly, much closer to you than when you watched it from the surface of Gyff. As you look at its white crystalline forests and blue spires, you're reminded of all the legends your people tell about the Moon, and of how important and dear it is to them. Suddenly the Crystal Moon looks sadly orphaned to you, torn from the skies above Gyff and brought here for one man's amusement. CHUK: I'm going to take you home. I promise. [[Back|penthouse]]

<<set $remote to true>><<set $remotetaken to true>>\ You pick up the remote. It's quite heavy and has three round buttons. On the back of the remote there's a sticker which reads: "Arena security system remote. IMPORTANT! This remote works only inside the arena dome." CHUK: This looks very, very useful. Item received: Remote control [[Continue|voxcall]]

<<if $remotetaken>>\ The videophone is in standby mode. A blinking light signals a recorded message. [[Replay the message|messagereplay]] [[Back|penthouse]] <<else>>\ The videophone is in standby mode. There are no recorded messages. [[Back|penthouse]] <</if>>\

As you pocket the remote, the videophone starts ringing. You jump, startled. Then the call is accepted on another receiver and a distorted image of General Vox's stern face appears on the screen. For a second you're afraid she sees you as well, but when she starts talking it's immediately clear she's not addressing you. Vox's words are barely audible through a buzz of static. VOX: I am … -bly sorry… -esty… one responsible for … -alling cheap signal trasmi- … -tely fired… -other one broke and … There is a long pause as someone – without a doubt Chairperor M'zzur – answers. The penthouse videophone is not picking him up, but he must be scolding Vox for something, as the imperious general's face assumes a humble and apologetic expression. VOX: -ally sorry … -ear Your Majesty's last wo- … -ave only one room left … -able signal … -ed ship, the conse … tory… I don't wa- … -ble Your Maje- … but it's the only … … … be there after … final match … -ive Your Ma- …. -tructions. Glory to … … The transmission ends in a loud buzz and the videophone switches back to standby mode. CHUK: Very interesting. So, the Chairperor is someplace Vox can't get a good connection to. Must mean he's not on Perfect Paradise at all. And Vox's going to the conservatory after the final match to call him about something important… [[Continue|penthouse]]

Vox's words are barely audible through a buzz of static. VOX: I am … -bly sorry… -esty… one responsible for … -alling cheap signal trasmi- … -tely fired… -other one broke and … There is a long pause as someone – without a doubt Chairperor M'zzur – answers. VOX: -ally sorry … -ear Your Majesty's last wo- … -ave only one room left … -able signal … -ed ship, the conse … tory… I don't wa- … -ble Your Maje- … but it's the only … … … be there after … final match … -ive Your Ma- …. -tructions. Glory to … … The transmission ends in a loud buzz and the videophone switches back to standby mode. [[Back|penthouse]]

The plaque reads, in elaborate script: "To our Emperor and Chairman, from the loving M'zzur Enterprises Team." [[Back|statue]]

<<set $capetaken to true>><<set $cape to true>>\ You stand on an antique chair and pull down the statue's cape. It is made of thin gold foil and looks fragile, but is in fact quite durable and doesn't tear. You fold the cape and pocket it. Item received: Cape of gold [[Back|penthouse]]

STEVE: I'm not sure. Guess he might be all of those things. What I know is that he's a mighty warrior, who hardly ever gives his opponents a chance to fight back. And he's a dangerous maniac, too. I didn't like him the moment I saw him. Knew he would be trouble. And his bugs – "girls", he calls them – really creep out some of the audience. I would have made up some reason not to accept him into the tournament, but I got very strict orders from General Vox. I was surprised she'd heard about him before – I had not – but turns out she's a big fan of his. [[Back|talktosteve]]

Steve is waiting for you in the vestibule, with a concerned look on his face. As he notices you, however, he conjures up his usual smile. STEVE: So, you decided to fight, after all! You either have something up your sleeve, or are completely nuts! Tell me, are you ready? I've got a word that the Cricket is getting a little… impatient. [[I'll gladly give him what he deserves, but I need to finish some business first.|dontfight3]] [[Yes, I'm ready.|fight3]]

STEVE: Okay, okay. It's not like we can't keep him waiting a little longer. But hurry, please. If you take too long, the Cybercricket may become… difficult to control. [[Continue|mainlobby]]

STEVE: All right! Looks like we're really doing this! Great! He laughs and pats you on the back, then pulls out his phone to announce the upcoming match through loudspeakers. STEVE: LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND ALL THE REST OF YOU! THIS IS THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! THE MOST ANTICIPATED, HOTTEST, MOST IMPORTANT FIGHT OF THE TOURNAMENT! AFTER ALL YOU'VE SEEN, PREPARE FOR EVEN MORE! GET READY FOR UNPARALLELED EXCITEMENT! GET READY TO SEE WHO'S GOING TO LOSE AND WHO'S GOING TO TAKE IT ALL! STEVE: Let's get on with the formalities. I can't see any weapons, so I assume you'll fight bare-handed, as usual. Okay, put your stuff over there. As you lay down your items on a bench, you turn to ask Steve a question. CHUK: Where is the Chairperor? He's going to be there, right? Steve clears his throat. He's looking a bit uneasy. STEVE: Well, um, I'm sorry to say that, since you wanted to see His Majesty so much, but we've just got a word he's not going to attend. Security issues, apparently. However, General Vox is going to watch the match as His Majesty's representative, and, I think, the Chairperor will arrive for the award ceremony, so you still have a chance to see him. Just win the match! He laughs. STEVE: All right, Chuk, let's get this madness started! Proceed to gate 2! As you walk over to the gate, he adds, in a serious tone: STEVE: Good luck. And please, don't get killed. [[Continue|fight3A]]

Once again you wait in the small room behind the metal gate, while Steve announces the fight. STEVE: LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND ALL THE REST OF YOU! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR MADNESS! IN JUST A MOMENT WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE TWO FINALISTS! THE TWO BEST WARRIORS IN THE GRAND GALACTIC TOURNAMENT! BUT, AS WE ALL KNOW, IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING ONE OF THE BEST! THE ONLY THING THAT COUNTS IS TO BE THE BEST! TO BE THE GRAND CHAMPION! WHO WILL CLAIM THAT TITLE? GET READY TO SEE THE MIGHTY CYBERCRICKET AND THE CUNNING CHAMELEON CHUK BATTLE IT OUT! BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM HIS MAJESTY CHAIRPEROR M'ZZUR, THE MAIN ORGANIZER OF THE TOURNAMENT, DELIVERED BY HIS REPRESENTATIVE, GENERAL LYNDA VOX! On the big screen you see General Vox, presiding over the crowd from a conch-shaped loge which hovers above the tribunes. GENERAL VOX: I HEREBY WELCOME ALL OF YOU – CITIZENS OF THE M'ZZUR EMPIRE FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GALAXY! CHEER FOR YOUR FIGHTER, BUT RESPECT THEIR OPPONENT! ADMIRE STRENGTH AND PROWESS, AND BE THANKFUL THAT IN OUR PEACEFUL TIMES FIERCE AND DEADLY BATTLES ONLY TAKE PLACE IN AN ARENA! AND TO THE CONTESTANTS – DO YOUR BEST! MAY THE BETTER WARRIOR TRIUMPH! Vox sits down to loud applause. People are eager to see the fight. The gate rises and you enter the arena. <<if $remoteset && $cricketsset && $heatingpromised>>\ [[Continue|fight3win]] <<elseif $remoteset>>\ [[Continue|fight3lose3]] <<elseif $cricketsset && $heatingpromised>>\ [[Continue|fight3lose2]] <<else>>\ [[Continue|fight3lose1]] <</if>>\

As you enter the arena, a stream of heated air reaches you. At first it's just warm, but in a few moments it becomes hot – so hot you start to sweat profusely. The Cybercricket emerges from the opposite gate – a tall, menacing figure. He laughs. THE CYBERCRICKET: Is this a joke? You send a kid to fight me? Sorry, I make no exceptions – kid or not, he's going to get hurt! The lights on the Cybercricket's massive chest start pulsating and he shouts: THE CYBERCRICKET: Show that shrimp his place, girls! The dark mass of crickets rises from his body and flies towards you. Suddenly a chirp comes from the barred opening in the arena wall. Then another. And then the crickets inside the icebox burst with wild chirping. The swarm momentarily veers in the direction of the noise. In a long, dark stream, it disappears into the opening. CHUK: GREAT JOB, GUYS! KEEP ON IT! The Cybercricket, furious, screams and curses at them, ordering them to immediately come back, but they're oblivious to his commands. THE CYBERCRICKET: DAMN BUGS! GET BACK HERE, NOW! CHUK: Give it up, Cybercricket! Your mind control can't win against the power of true love! The Cybercricket is overtaken by blind fury. The audience laughs and cheers at his failure, which angers him even more. THE CYBERCRICKET: ENOUGH! FOR THAT INSULT, I'LL CRUSH YOU! He runs toward the arena fencing. STEVE: OH, PLEASE, AGAIN? You quickly look around and spot the golden remote control lying on the sand in the middle of the arena. You make a dash for it and pick it up just as the Cybercricket grabs a fencing bar and starts pulling on it. You only have a couple of seconds to use the remote. The remote has three buttons. [[Press the left button|fight3buttoncorrect]] [[Press the middle button|fight3turrets]] [[Press the right button|fight3eject]]

<<if $heatingpromised>>As you enter the arena, a stream of heated air reaches you. At first it's just warm, but in a few moments it becomes hot – so hot you start to sweat profusely.<</if>>\ The Cybercricket emerges from the opposite gate – a tall, menacing figure. He laughs. THE CYBERCRICKET: Is this a joke? You send a kid to fight me? Sorry, I make no exceptions – kid or not, he's going to get hurt! You quickly look around and spot the golden remote control lying on the sand in the middle of the arena. You just have to grab it, then lure the Cybercricket near the fencing… You make a dash for the remote. At the same moment, the Cybercricket shouts: THE CYBERCRICKET: Show that shrimp his place, girls! A dark mass of crickets rises from his body and rushes at you. Before you can reach the remote, it envelops you and in a heartbeat you're covered in living, biting insects. You hear the Cybercricket laughing, the audience gasping, cheering and screaming, and Steve shouting something, but the sounds grow weaker as pain overcomes you… <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch3]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

As you enter the arena, a stream of heated air reaches you. At first it's just warm, but in a few moments it becomes hot – so hot you start to sweat profusely. The Cybercricket emerges from the opposite gate – a tall, menacing figure. He laughs. THE CYBERCRICKET: Is this a joke? You send a kid to fight me? Sorry, I make no exceptions – kid or not, he's going to get hurt! The lights on the Cybercricket's massive chest start pulsating and he shouts: THE CYBERCRICKET: Show that shrimp his place, girls! The dark mass of crickets rises from his body and flies towards you. Suddenly a chirp comes from the barred opening in the arena wall. Then another. And then the crickets inside the icebox burst with wild chirping. The swarm momentarily veers in the direction of the noise. In a long, dark stream, it disappears into the opening. CHUK: GREAT JOB, GUYS! KEEP ON IT! The Cybercricket, furious, screams and curses at them, ordering them to immediately come back, but they're oblivious to his commands. THE CYBERCRICKET: DAMN BUGS! GET BACK HERE, NOW! CHUK: Give it up, Cybercricket! Your mind control can't win against the power of true love! The Cybercricket is overtaken by blind fury. The audience laughs and cheers at his failure, which angers him even more. THE CYBERCRICKET: ENOUGH! FOR THAT INSULT, I'LL CRUSH YOU! He runs toward the arena fencing and with a titanic effort rips one long, metal rod from its concrete base. STEVE: OH, PLEASE, AGAIN? The Cybercricket rushes at you in rage, his weapon raised high. You dive and dodge, and twice the Cybercricket strikes thin air, but his third hit gets you. There's an explosion of painful, blinding light, and then everything turns dark. <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch3]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

<<if $heatingpromised>>As you enter the arena, a stream of heated air reaches you. At first it's just warm, but in a few moments it becomes hot – so hot you start to sweat profusely.<</if>>\ The Cybercricket emerges from the opposite gate – a tall, menacing figure. He laughs. THE CYBERCRICKET: Is this a joke? You send a kid to fight me? Sorry, I make no exceptions – kid or not, he's going to get hurt! You shout that you're no kid; you're a Gyffid and you're here to defeat him. The Cybercricket does not listen. The lights on his massive chest start pulsating and he shouts: THE CYBERCRICKET: Show that shrimp his place, girls! A dark mass of crickets rises from his body and rushes at you. In a heartbeat you're covered in living, biting insects. You hear the Cybercricket laughing, the audience gasping, cheering and screaming, and Steve shouting something, but the sounds grow weaker as pain overcomes you… <center>GAME OVER.</center> <center>[[Restore game|startmatch3]]</center> <center><<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>></center>

The applause goes on and on. STEVE: AND NOW… THE CHAIRPEROR'S REPRESENTATIVE WILL CONGRATULATE THE CHAMPION IN HIS MAJESTY'S NAME! The flying loge descends from above and lands on the sand. General Vox steps forward and stops in front of you, tall and imposing in her perfectly ironed uniform. She attempts a smile, but wrinkles of anger stay on her face. GENERAL VOX: Well done, Champion. His Majesty the Chairperor admires your battle prowess. She reaches down and quickly shakes your hand, then steps back. Just as the General climbs back to the loge, you realise you have questions, and now is your only chance to get answers. CHUK: General! Wait! GENERAL VOX: Yes, Champion? What is it? [[I want to see the Chairperor.|wantseemzzur]] [[I want my prize.|wantmyprize]]

GENERAL VOX: I understand. I can assure you that His Majesty is going to arrive soon. CHUK: You assured me he'd be here! The General scowls. GENERAL VOX: It is not for you to question His Majesty's actions. You will see him during the award ceremony. Be thankful His Majesty is going to grant you an audience. [[What about my prize?|wantmyprize]]

<<set $money += 10000>>\ GENERAL VOX: Oh, yes, of course, the prize… You get a strange feeling she has no idea what the prize is supposed to be. Maybe only the Chairperor knows? You stare at the General, awaiting some kind of answer. She reads that as you demanding the prize here and now, and searches through her pockets. GENERAL VOX: Here. Accept this as a token of appreciation from M'zzur Enterprises. She hands you a money chip. You received 10000 MEC. CHUK: But… I thought… GENERAL VOX: What? You want more? CHUK: No, I mean… that's a whole lot of money, but I thought the prize would be something special, one of a kind… General Vox sighs. GENERAL VOX: You will receive the fabulous main prize from the Chairperor himself, during the award ceremony. For now, Champion, enjoy your victory, and be patient. CHUK: What is the main prize? GENERAL VOX: That you will learn from His Majesty. You take a deep breath. [[State your demand|wantmyprize2]]

Steve has already left the announcer's booth and is waiting for you in the vestibule. STEVE: Amazing job, my friend! Or, should I say, Grand Champion? I doubted you could pull this off, but turns out you never run out of ingenious ideas! To be honest, I've heard some people complain you used unfair tricks to win, but don't worry – you didn't break any rules. And most of the audience really enjoyed your… creative style. As for myself, I'm just glad the Cybercricket didn't win. Well – I'm sure you'd like to rest now. Enjoy the rest of your stay on the Perfect Paradise. I'll inform you about the time and place of the award ceremony as soon as I get more info. [[Continue|fight3winC]]

<<set $act to 4>><<if $capegiven>><<set $needfuel to true>><</if>>\ Steve vigorously shakes your hand, congratulates you one more time and excuses himself, saying he's got some pressing corporate business to attend to. He adds he won't be at the counter in the main lobby for a while, but he'll find you when he'll have news for you. You rest on a comfortable sofa in the vestibule for a while, thinking about the tournament, and how surprised all your fellow Gyffids will be when they learn about your victory. You smile. Then, you start thinking about the Crystal Moon, the Chairperor and General Vox, and your smile quickly fades. CHUK: I didn't come here to win a tournament… I came for the Crystal Moon. I still don't know how to get it back. And I think M'zzur and Vox may be up to something. Didn't Vox say she was going to talk with the Chairperor after the final match? I should sneak into the conservatory and learn what it is they need to discuss. [[Continue|mainlobby]]

This is the access card Steve has stolen from one of General Vox's bodyguards. It opens the golden door to the General's private quarters. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Access card <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'ena'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'girl'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'quik'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'portrait']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'robot'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'robot']] [[Use with books|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'plant'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'plant']] [[Use with waterfall|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'tub'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'quik'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'tub']] <<if $questcape>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|capetomainquik]] <<else>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'quik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'door'>>CHUK: The door is already open. <<else>>\<</if>>\ <<if $golddooropen>>[[Use with golden door|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'door']] <<else>>[[Use with golden door|opengolddoor]] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'vendingmachine']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'largepot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'carrots'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'baron'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'petshop'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'toad'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'basket'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'workbench'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I need this card myself. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'mechanic']] [[Use with arena boiler's valves|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'valves2']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'statue'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'moon'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'rex'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'ship'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: The secret door is already open. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'postermiddle2'>>CHUK: Hey, there's something that looks like a card reader on that poster! Better take a closer look at it. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'posterright'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'posterleft']] <<if $posteropen>>[[Use with middle poster|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'postermiddle']] <<elseif $readerfound>>[[Use with middle poster|openposter]] <<else>>[[Use with middle poster|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'postermiddle2']] <</if>>\ [[Use with rightmost poster|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $useaccesscard == 'guards'>>CHUK: I can't admit I have a stolen access card, too. <<elseif $useaccesscard == 'chairperor'>>CHUK: I can't admit I have a stolen access card, too. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|useaccesscard][$useaccesscard to 'chairperor']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Access card <<if $accesscardwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut this. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $accesscardwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combineaccesscard][$accesscardwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$accesscardwith to 'none']]

It's a special breed of pigeon, raised to carry messages over great distances – even across planetary systems. This particular bird is bluish-gray, slim but muscular. It's wearing a pigeon-sized space helmet and a shiny rocket backpack. There's a small screen on the backpack, and next to it there's a switch with three settings: INDOOR, ATMOSPHERIC and INTERPLANETARY. A sticker next to the switch warns against using the higher speed settings inside buildings. The switch is in the INDOOR position. A short system message is scrolling in a loop on the screen. It reads: "Deliver your messages with style! Thanks to advanced brain implants, your Homing Rocket Pigeon will always find the recipient – it's enough to provide their unique identifying data – no postal address required!" The pigeon is very calm. It's looking at you with its beady eyes, waiting for a message to deliver. <<if $findsteve>>[[Send a message to Steve|messagefailed]] <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Homing Rocket Pigeon <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Hmm... maybe I should send a message to M'zzur? No, that wouldn't help anything. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants a pet. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants a pet. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think they want a pet. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'portrait']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'securibot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants a pet. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'bar'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants a pet. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'robot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Water could damage the pigeon's space gear. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'plant']] [[Use with waterfall|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'mops'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'tub'>>CHUK: That liquid, whatever it is, could damage the pigeon's space gear. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants a pet. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'tub']] [[Use with Quik mechanic|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'door'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'vendingmachine']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'largepot'>>CHUK: I'd never eat my precious pigeon! <<elseif $usepigeon == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'baron'>>CHUK: As a naturalist, what can you tell me about my pet? SCHMERZKOPF: Now, zere'z an alien livevorm like nothing elze I've ever zeen! Itz outer shell zeems to be very hard – is zat zome space turtle? <<elseif $usepigeon == 'petshop'>>CHUK: I don't want to return it. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'toad'>>CHUK: Pigeon, meet toad. Toad, meet pigeon. ... Mmm... they're not interested in each other. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'bars'>>CHUK: I don't need to send the pigeon to the arena. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'ledge'>>CHUK: I don't want to leave it on this ledge. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'pipes'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'basket'>>CHUK: I don't want to put my pigeon in a basket. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw my pigeon away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants a pet. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'mechanic']] [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'valves2']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'statue'>>CHUK: Hmm... maybe I should send a message to M'zzur? No, that wouldn't help anything. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'moon'>>CHUK: How do you like the Crystal Moon, pigeon? Want to go there one day? ... It seems fascinated. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'rex'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'ship'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usepigeon == 'posterright'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $usepigeon == 'guards'>>CHUK: I don't even know their names! <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|usepigeon][$usepigeon to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|defeatchairperor]] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Homing Rocket Pigeon <<if $pigeonwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to hurt my pigeon. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: I'm not surprised they didn't include the prize of this pigeon in the leaflet. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: The cape would cover the boosters' exhausts, and that's not something you should do. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: It's much too big for the pigeon to wear. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: I don't want to dismantle its space gear. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: I think it has a built-in timer in its space gear. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: The pigeon's wearing a helmet, so it can't put the fake beard on. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: I don't want to insult my pigeon. I like it. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: The pigeon's rocket backpack doesn't need any more fuel. <<elseif $pigeonwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: I don't need to send Steve a message now. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'fuel']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>><<if $findsteve>>[[Steve's business card|findingsteve]] <<else>>[[Steve's business card|combinepigeon][$pigeonwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>>\ <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$pigeonwith to 'none']]

A small block of solid rocket fuel in a safe, sealed container. [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Solid rocket fuel <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'portrait'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'ena'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'girl'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'quik'>>CHUK: What use could a Quik have for rocket fuel? <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usefuel][$usefuel to 'portrait']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usefuel][$usefuel to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usefuel][$usefuel to 'girl']] <<if $questfuel>> [[Use with Quik|fueltoquik]] <<else>> [[Use with Quik|usefuel][$usefuel to 'quik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'janitor'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usefuel][$usefuel to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usefuel][$usefuel to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usefuel][$usefuel to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usefuel][$usefuel to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'librarian'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'robot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'books'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usefuel][$usefuel to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usefuel][$usefuel to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usefuel][$usefuel to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usefuel][$usefuel to 'plant']] [[Use with waterfall|usefuel][$usefuel to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'door'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usefuel][$usefuel to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usefuel][$usefuel to 'vendingmachine']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'baron'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usefuel][$usefuel to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usefuel][$usefuel to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'toad'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usefuel][$usefuel to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'bars'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usefuel][$usefuel to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usefuel][$usefuel to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usefuel][$usefuel to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'crystal'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'bin'>>CHUK: You should never throw rocket fuel into household waste. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usefuel][$usefuel to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usefuel][$usefuel to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usefuel][$usefuel to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'valves2'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usefuel][$usefuel to 'mechanic']] [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usefuel][$usefuel to 'valves2']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'statue'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'moon'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usefuel][$usefuel to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usefuel][$usefuel to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usefuel][$usefuel to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'rex'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usefuel][$usefuel to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'ship'>>CHUK: I'm not putting it back – that would undo my entire cunning plan! <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usefuel][$usefuel to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usefuel == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usefuel == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usefuel == 'posterright'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usefuel][$usefuel to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usefuel][$usefuel to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usefuel][$usefuel to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>

\ Combine Solid rocket fuel <<if $fuelwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: This would be reckless and dangerous to do. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: Opening the fuel container now would be extremely dangerous. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: The pigeon's rocket backpack doesn't need any more fuel. <<elseif $fuelwith == 'stevescard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $stevescard>>[[Steve's business card|combinefuel][$fuelwith to 'stevescard']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$fuelwith to 'none']]

An elegant business card, which reads: Steve C. Starvale Entertainment, performing arts and merchandise associate manager M'zzur Enterprises [[Return to inventory|inventory]]

Use Steve's business card <<if $room == 'mainlobby'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'portrait'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'ena'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'girl'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think they want that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's portrait|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'portrait']] [[Use with variably-eyed lady|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'ena']] [[Use with girl in blue T-shirt|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'girl']] [[Use with Quik|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'quik']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'easterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'securibot'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'janitor'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'bar'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'greenalien'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with guard robot|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'securibot']] [[Use with janitor|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'janitor']] [[Use with metal bar|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'bar']] <<if $act > 2>>\ [[Use with green alien|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'greenalien']] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'servicecorridor'>>\ There's nothing here you could use the item with. [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'library'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'librarian'>>CHUK: I don't think she wants that. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'robot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'books'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with librarian|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'librarian']] [[Use with robot|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'robot']] [[Use with books|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'books']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'conservatory'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'plant'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'waterfall'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with reddish plant|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'plant']] [[Use with waterfall|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'waterfall']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'storeroom'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'mops'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with dirty mops|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'mops']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'quikroom'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'tub'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'quik'>>CHUK: I don't think it wants that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with bathtub|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'tub']] <<if $questcape>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|capetomainquik]] <<else>>[[Use with Quik mechanic|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'quik']] <</if>>\ [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'door'>>CHUK: This isn't the right card for that. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden door|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'door']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'northwesterncorridor'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'vendingmachine'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with vending machine|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'vendingmachine']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'kitchen'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'largepot'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'carrots'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with large pot|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'largepot']] [[Use with wilted carrots|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'carrots']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'westerncorridor'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'baron'>>CHUK: I don't think he wants that. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'petshop'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with moustachioed man|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'baron']] [[Use with Pet Shop booth|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'petshop']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'guestwing'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'toad'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Korrian Horned Toad|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'toad']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'tunnel'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'bars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'ledge'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'pipes'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with steel bars|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'bars']] [[Use with concrete ledge|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'ledge']] [[Use with heating pipes|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'pipes']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'fortuneroom'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'crystal'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'basket'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'bin'>>CHUK: I don't want to throw this away. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with crystal ball|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'crystal']] [[Use with knitting basket|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'basket']] [[Use with wicker bin|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'bin']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'repairshop'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'workbench'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with workbench|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'workbench']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'boilerroom'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'mechanic'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'valves2'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with mechanic|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'mechanic']] [[Use with arena boiler's valves|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'valves2']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'penthouse'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'statue'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'phone'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'moon'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with golden statue|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'statue']] [[Use with videophone|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'phone']] [[Use with Crystal Moon|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'moon']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'prison'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'prisonbars'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'steveshands'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with metal bars|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'prisonbars']] [[Use with Steve's tied hands|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'steveshands']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'rexroom'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'rex'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Rex|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'rex']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bay'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'ship'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with General Vox's ship|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'ship']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'waitingroom'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'posterleft'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'postermiddle'>>CHUK: That won't help anything. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'posterright'>>CHUK: Mmm... I don't think so. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with leftmost poster|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'posterleft']] [[Use with middle poster|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'postermiddle']] [[Use with rightmost poster|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'posterright']] [[Back|inventory]] <<elseif $room == 'bridge'>>\ <<if $usestevescard == 'guards'>>CHUK: My contacts aren't going to help me now. <<elseif $usestevescard == 'chairperor'>>CHUK: My contacts aren't going to help me now. <<else>>\<</if>>\ [[Use with Chairperor's guards|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'guards']] [[Use with Chairperor M'zzur|usestevescard][$usestevescard to 'chairperor']] [[Back|inventory]] <<else>>\<</if>>\

\ Combine Steve's business card <<if $stevescardwith == 'scissors'>>CHUK: I don't want to cut this. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'leaflet'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'cape'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'fakehead'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'screwdriver'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'watch'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'beard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'goodbook'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'accesscard'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'fuel'>>CHUK: This won't do anything. <<elseif $stevescardwith == 'pigeon'>>CHUK: I don't need to send Steve a message now. <<else>>Combine with which item? <</if>> <<if $accesscard>>[[Access card|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'accesscard']] <</if>>\ <<if $cape>>[[Cape of gold|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'cape']] <</if>>\ <<if $beard>>[[Fake beard|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'beard']] <</if>>\ <<if $fakehead>>[[Fake Quik head|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'fakehead']] <</if>>\ <<if $pigeon>><<if $findsteve>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|findingsteve]] <<else>>[[Homing Rocket Pigeon|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'pigeon']] <</if>>\<</if>>\ <<if $goodbook>>[[Improved Handbook of Insults|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'goodbook']] <</if>>\ <<if $leaflet>>[[Pet shop leaflet|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'leaflet']] <</if>>\ <<if $watch>>[[Pocket watch|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'watch']] <</if>>\ <<if $scissors>>[[Scissors|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'scissors']] <</if>>\ <<if $screwdriver>>[[Screwdriver|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'screwdriver']] <</if>>\ <<if $fuel>>[[Solid rocket fuel|combinestevescard][$stevescardwith to 'fuel']] <</if>> [[Return to inventory|inventory][$stevescardwith to 'none']]

<<set $pigeon to false>>You take Steve's business card and, feeling a little silly, show it to the pigeon. The bird tilts its head and stares at the card for a few seconds. Then a new text appears on its backpack screen: "Recipient identified. Please provide your message." CHUK: Just take me to Steve, bird! Now, go! Item lost: Homing rocket pigeon The pigeon spreads its wings with joyous cooing and takes flight. You run after it<<if $fakeheadon>><<set $fakeheadon to false>>, taking off the fake Quik head as you go<</if>>. The pigeon's speed is set to minimum still you barely manage to keep up with it. Following the pigeon, you enter the ventilation tunnel near the golden staircase. At the fork the bird turns right. You speed up, afraid of falling behind. The pigeon leads you, swiftly and surely, through a labyrinth of tunnels, lit only by the tiny flame of the bird's jetpack. The way twists and turns, and you pass through countless intersections, yet the homing rocket pigeon never hesitates for a second. Eventually, you're out of breath – and out of the vent tunnels. You're standing in a dimly lit, windowless corridor with rusty metal walls. The air here smells of dampness and machine oil. You see a row of small cells with steel bar doors. The pigeon heads straight for the farthest cell, lands in front of the door and hops in between the bars. You hear it coo happily, and then a robotic female voice speaks out loudly: "Just take me to Steve, bird! Now, go!" You run to the door and find Steve, bruised, his clothes in disarray and his hands tied, sitting on the cell floor. He chuckles when he sees you. The pigeon is strutting here and there next to Steve, looking very proud of itself. STEVE: What a sight for sore eyes! I figured if someone was going to find me, it would be you. How the heck did you know I was here? CHUK: I was spying on Vox. Hiding in the bushes in the conservatory. I've heard everything. STEVE: Right. So, you already know we're in great danger. I need out of this cell. He puts his hands through the bars; they're tightly bound with a necktie one of the bodyguards was wearing. STEVE: Untie me, and I'll take care of the lock. [[Continue|prison]]

<<set $rexdefeated to true>><<set $fakehead to false>>\ <<if $rexhead>>\ You take the fake Quik head. CHUK: Okay, let's see if that silly book about Xlx will prove useful after all. <<else>>\ You take the fake Quik head. CHUK: It stopped for a second there when our eyes met. Let's see how it reacts to the fake head… <</if>>\ Keeping the fake head in front of your face, you approach Rex, being careful to stay out of its reach. The beast stops walking and roars at you. Peeking from behind the fake head, you notice that Rex's gaze is firmly fixed at the head's hollow "eyes". You slowly place the head on the ground in front of the Mastiff. The beast has stopped mid-stride and is standing perfectly still, its body tense and its eyes narrowed. Item lost: Fake Quik head You step forward, very slowly. One, two, three steps – you're now within the chain's reach. Rex does not move. You come closer and, surprised by your own boldness, snap your fingers right next to the beast's left year. No reaction. The Mastiff is completely engrossed in the staring contest with the fake Quik head. As long as the fake head remains in place, you can safely cross the corridor – Rex won't move an inch. <<if $rexhead>>\ CHUK: Absolutely amazing. I mean, I'm amazed that book wasn't just a pile of nonsense. You pat Rex on the giant head. CHUK: Good boy! Stay! <<else>>\ CHUK: I think it's trying to hypnotise its prey… You pat Rex on the giant head. CHUK: Good boy! Stay! <</if>>\ [[Continue|rexroom]]

<<set $pigeon to true>><<set $accesscard to true>><<set $findsteve to false>>\ You quickly cut the tie with the scissors. Steve moves his fingers. STEVE: Feels good to have circulation again! He takes a golden tie-pin and, after some fiddling, opens the cell lock with it. STEVE: Thanks for the rescue, friend. Let's go. There's a secret lift from here to a service room near the arena. Before you go, you pick up the homing rocket pigeon. Item received: Homing rocket pigeon Steve leads you through a hidden passage and into a small, rickety lift. STEVE: All right, Chuk. We must hurry. I think youve already figured out what's going on? CHUK: Yeah. Chairperor M'zzur wants to blow up the Perfect Paradise to kill all the tournament participants onboard and stop the fulfilling of a prophecy, which says he's going to be defeated by a great warrior. I think that's more or less it. STEVE: That's what I understood as well. M'zzur's gone completely crazy if he wants to kill thousands of civilians because of something like that. We must alert the media and stop this madness. You shake your head and tell Steve what you learned from spying on Vox. Steve curses. STEVE: ...those clever bastards! It's no use, then. All the Galaxy would see is M'zzur's propaganda. Our only chance now is to get to General Vox and threaten her life. She will cancel the operation if it means she's going to die with us. Here, take this. I just knew it might come in handy. He gives you a golden access card. Item received: Access card STEVE: When we get to the main level, use this to get to General Vox's private quarters. I'll go to the engine room, get the people working. If there's enough time, we might be able to get the Perfect Paradise off Kaldera's orbit and escape. After I'll get things moving, I'll assemble a strike team and we'll come to deal with Vox. CHUK: What's my job, then? STEVE: It's simple, I hope. I know General Vox has a spacecraft in a private hangar – disable that ship, so that she can't escape. We might not be able to get the Paradise moving in time – if so, we need Vox to halt the attack. Cause if the Unstoppable bombards us, we're toast. That monster has enough firepower to destroy a small planet. You gulp. CHUK: Okay. I'll do my best not to let that happen. You get on the lift and start a slow ride up. Now is the time to ask Steve questions. [[Are you okay?|steveokay]] [[What if I'm forced to fight? I'm no warrior.|nowarrior]] [[I just wanted to tell you… I was wrong about you. You're not a bad guy.|nobadguy]] [[You seem convinced the Chairperor really wants to kill us all. Don't you think it's some… misunderstanding?|misunderstanding?]] [[Why is the Chairperor so concerned about this prophecy? Shouldn't he laugh at the idea of a single person trying to take him down?|concernedaboutprophecy]] [[Did you know the Cybercricket was working for Vox and the Chairperor?|cricketvox]] [[What does the "C" stand for?|clarence]] [[That's all the questions I've had. Let's do this.|getofflift]]

<<set $golddooropen to true>>You put the access card to the reader. The door noiselessly opens. [[Walk through the door|rexroom]] [[Step back|northerncorridor]]

<<set $posteropen to true>>\ You put the golden access card to the reader mounted on the poster. The entire poster and frame swing forward, revealing a hidden lift. On the control panel inside the lift there are only two buttons – arrows pointing up and down, and only the arrow down is active. [[Go down in the lift|bay]] [[Back|waitingroom]]

You hear General Vox's words in your head: GENERAL VOX: ...there's only one Chairperor M'zzur. CHUK: ...of course! You grab the Homing Rocket Pigeon and flip its speed switch to the INTERPLANETARY setting. GUARD: Hey, what's that supposed to be? CHUK: SEND TO CHAIRPEROR M'ZZUR! THE CHAIRPEROR: Wha- You release the pigeon and drop to the ground. There is a flash of blinding light and a loud, rumbling sound. The pigeon hits M'zzur at full speed, its boosters spitting out blue flames and billows of smoke. The Chairperor doesn't even have time to scream. His golden throne is ripped from the floor and pushed into the large window behind. The glass cracks and explodes into a rain of shards. With breathtaking speed, the pigeon, the golden throne and what is left of the Chairperor disappear in the blackness of space. The guards start shooting, but miss you. Alarms go off. Smoke is everywhere. Air is being sucked out of the bridge. All hell breaks loose; the guards are trying to hold on to consoles and railings, but even the strongest grip can't save an unprotected person from suffocating now the atmosphere is escaping. As you're being sucked out through the gaping hole in the window, you're really glad you have the spacesuit on. [[Continue|dignity]]

<<set $fuelgiven to true>><<set $fuel to false>>\ CHUK: Here. I've taken this from General Vox's personal ship. The Quik stares in awe at the silver container. QUIK: You found fuel! Grand Champion, you really the mightiest! Thank you! Quik need hurry now! CHUK: I hope you… The Quik grabs the fuel and runs away. CHUK: …won't blow anything up with it. Okay, I'd better hurry as well, and see what Vox is up to. [[Rush to General Vox's quarters|waitingroom]]

CHUK: No reason to go there now. [[Back|mainlobby]]

You slip behind the counter. With your short stature you're completely hidden here, so you're not afraid of being chased away by some M'zzur Enterprises employee, or asked for help by a guest. You examine the shelf beneath the counter top. There is nothing there but dust and a stack of business cards – black with gold print. [[Take a business card|takestevescard]] [[Leave the spot behind the counter|mainlobby]]

<<if $stevescard>>\ CHUK: I'm not planning on going around handing out Steve's business cards. One is enough. [[Back|behinddesk]] <<else>><<set $stevescard to true>>\ You take one business card and examine it. The card reads: Steve C. Starvale Entertainment, performing arts and merchandise associate manager M'zzur Enterprises Item received: Steve's business card You pocket the business card. [[Back|behinddesk]] <</if>>

<<set $questfuel to true>><<set $needfuel to false>>\ QUIK: Thank you from the deep in Quik heart! Please, hurry, it very urgent! It bows to you, then turns on its heel and runs away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

<<set $questfuel to true>><<set $needfuel to false>>\ QUIK: But if you no help, very bad things happen! Please, Grand Champion, please! It most important! Help Quik and Quik help you other time! Believe Quik! It bows to you, then turns on its heel and runs away. [[Back|mainlobby]]

<<set $room to 'waitingroom'>>\ <center>Waiting room</center> <<if $posteropen>>You're in a small, rectangular room. There are several cushioned chairs here and a small table with long purple tablecloth, and one wall is decorated with three [[framed posters|examineposters]] advertising M'zzur Enterprises. The middle poster is swung open like a door, revealing a [[secret lift|bay]]. There's a [[wooden door|nogotovox]] in the north end of the room. Through the door you can hear [[muffled voices|listendoor]]. Another [[door, in the south|rexroom]], leads back to the short corridor where Rex is. <<elseif $waitingroomagain>>You're in a small, rectangular room. There are several cushioned chairs here and a small table with long purple tablecloth, and one wall is decorated with three [[framed posters|examineposters]] advertising M'zzur Enterprises. There's a [[wooden door|nogotovox]] in the north end of the room. Through the door you can hear [[muffled voices|listendoor]]. Another [[door, in the south|rexroom]], leads back to the short corridor where Rex is. <<else>><<set $waitingroomagain to true>>You enter a rectangular room, much smaller than you expected. With relief, you realise there's no one here. There are several cushioned chairs here and a small table with long purple tablecloth, and one wall is decorated with three [[framed posters|examineposters]] advertising M'zzur Enterprises. Looks like you're in some sort of waiting room, in front of the General's suite proper. There's a [[wooden door|nogotovox]] in the north end of the room. Through the door you can hear [[muffled voices|listendoor]], but you cannot distinguish words. The [[door in the south end of the room|rexroom]] leads back to the short corridor where Rex is. <</if>>\ <<if $shipdisabled>>\ [[Stay here and wait on Vox's next move|endgame]] <<else>><</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<set $questfuel to true>><<set $needfuel to false>>\ QUIK: Thank you from the deep in Quik heart! Please, hurry, it very urgent! [[Continue|quikroom]]

<<set $questfuel to true>><<set $needfuel to false>>\ QUIK: But – but you come to see Quik? Why come if not to help us? Please, Grand Champion, please! It most important! Help Quik and Quik help you other time! Believe Quik! [[Continue|quikroom]]

<<set $room to 'conservatory'>>\ <center>Conservatory</center> <<if $aftervoxtalk>>You're alone in the conservatory. The lush [[greenery|lookgreenery4]] surrounds the artificial [[waterfall|waterfallact4]]. Near the entrance a [[bush with thick, reddish leaves|plantact4]] resides in a separate planter. There is only one [[door|westerncorridor]] here, leading back to the corridor. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>> <<elseif $conservatoryact4again>>You're alone in the conservatory. The lush [[greenery|lookgreenery4]] surrounds the artificial [[waterfall|waterfallact4]]. Near the entrance a [[bush with thick, reddish leaves|plantact4]] resides in a separate planter. You hear footsteps approaching the other side of the conservatory [[door|avoidguard]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<else>><<set $conservatoryact4again to true>>You enter the conservatory and discover no one else's here. The painter and her easel are gone, and so is Madame Golgadul. The lush [[greenery|lookgreenery4]] surrounds the artificial [[waterfall|waterfallact4]]. Near the entrance a [[bush with thick, reddish leaves|plantact4]] resides in a separate planter. You hear footsteps approaching the other side of the conservatory [[door|avoidguard]]. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <</if>>\

<<if $color == 'green'>>You hide among the leaves. A moment later the door opens and one of General Vox's bodyguards enters. He walks around the room, inspecting every corner. You stand motionless, your green skin and brown outfit blending with the plants. The bodyguard doesn't notice you. He heads for the door, talking through his earpiece: BODYGUARD: Yes, General. Everything's ready. Yes, ma'am, right away. He exits the conservatory. You stay in your hiding place. A couple of minutes later the man returns. He's followed by General Lynda Vox and another bodyguard. They close the door; one of the bodyguards takes a position next to it, while the other holds a videophone with a long antenna for General Vox to use. [[Continue|voxtalk1]] <<elseif $caughtagain>>You hide among the leaves. A moment later the door opens and General Vox's bodyguard enters. He lets out a deep sigh and starts his round of the room, inspecting every corner. You try to stay motionless, but the guard spots you through the foliage anyway. BODYGUARD: You again?! Go out with your hands up or I'll have to shoot you! Seeing no other choice, you comply. BODYGUARD: And now, get out! What part of "restricted area" you don't understand?! [[Exit the room quietly|caught]] [[Argue|arguewithguard]] <<else>>You hide among the leaves. A moment later the door opens and one of General Vox's bodyguards enters. He walks around the room, inspecting every corner. You try to stay motionless, but the guard spots you through the foliage anyway. BODYGUARD: You there! Go out with your hands up or I'll have to shoot you! Seeing no other choice, you comply. BODYGUARD: And now, get out! This is a restricted area now. [[Exit the room quietly|caught]] [[Argue|arguewithguard]] <</if>>

You exit the room. A moment later one of General Vox's bodyguard appears. He enters the conservatory, but leaves soon after, talking through his earpiece. BODYGUARD: Yes, General… No sign of unauthorised persons. … Yes, of course, if you say so, ma'am. I will check the corridor, then do another round of the conservatory. He walks away. [[Continue|westerncorridor]]

GENERAL VOX: Ahem…? Your Majesty? Vox here. CHAIRPEROR M'ZZUR: Welcome, General. You're all right, I hope? You look pale. There's something hard and commanding in Chairperor M'zzur's quiet, calm voice. The General straightens up. GENERAL VOX: No, Your Majesty. Thank you for your kind care. I was a little… indisposed, but I feel much better now. CHAIRPEROR M'ZZUR: I'm glad to hear that. We wouldn't like your indisposition to get in our plan's way, would we. Now, since the tournament turned out to be such a disappointment, I want you to make all the necessary preparations on the Perfect Paradise and return to the Unstoppable without delay. GENERAL VOX: B-but Your Majesty, there's no need for that. With all respect – we do not have to be overly cautious. I can… CHAIRPEROR M'ZZUR: You've had your chance, General. They were supposed to eliminate each other, leaving only one man standing – our man. Now the tournament is over and we had, correct me if I'm wrong, one casualty? General Vox is looking very uneasy. GENERAL VOX: I apologise, Your Majesty. Yes, I take responsibility for that failure. We haven't taken into account… ahem… well, the participants turned out to be… much less… willing to cooperate than we had estimated. They… they didn't want to kill defeated opponents. Most of them flat out refused when our plain-clothes agents subtly suggested that. They claimed they're… athletes, not murderers. But I can still save the situation… The eliminated fighters pose no threat to us now. They lost their reputation as warriors. And the "Grand Champion"… He's a joke, Your Majesty. A little cheat who only got away with his tricks because we barely had any rules in place. I will get rid of him. I'll just have the Cybercricket patched up and… The Chairperor interrupts her impatiently. CHAIRPEROR M'ZZUR: Enough, General. The Cybercricket was a failure; I don't want to use him again. I shall dispose of all those "warriors" once and for all using a surer method. The Unstoppable is already on its way. It's in your best personal interest to follow the emergency plan now, General. I admit, I'll be a little sad to see the Perfect Paradise go; it was a nice enough little ship. But M'zzur Enterprises can easily afford a new one. He ends the transmission. You stand among the leaves, hardly believing what you've just heard. The entire tournament was a trap! The Chairperor never intended to reward the winner. He wants to kill all of you! The General composes herself. GENERAL VOX: All right, men. Let's go. We've got work to… [[Continue|voxtalk2]]

<<if $caughtagain>>You exit the conservatory, and the bodyguard soon follows. He's talking through his earpiece. BODYGUARD: Yes, General… I found an unauthorised person hiding in the bushes… again, but that's been taken care of… I apologise…. It won't happen again… I scared him good this time. Yes, ma'am, if you say so... I will check the corridor, then do yet another round of the conservatory… He sighs heavily and walks away. [[Continue|westerncorridor]] <<else>><<set $caughtagain to true>>You exit the conservatory, and the bodyguard soon follows. He's talking through his earpiece. BODYGUARD: Yes, General… I found an unauthorised person hiding in the bushes, but that's been taken care of. Yes, I understand. I will check the corridor, then do another round of the conservatory. Yes, of course, General… Understood… He walks away. [[Continue|westerncorridor]] <</if>>

CHUK: You can't do this! I'm the Grand Champion of the Arena! The bodyguard is unfazed. BODYGUARD: Champion or not, the General ordered me to clear this area of unauthorised persons, and she has the supreme authority on Perfect Paradise! So get your Grand Champion butt outta here, before I kick you out! Seeing he's not joking, you quietly leave. [[Continue|caught]]

The plant has large, leathery leaves with very thick stalks. [[Read the plaque on the planter|plaqueact4]] [[Back|conservatoryact4]]

<<set $findsteve to true>><<set $aftervoxtalk to true>>\ She's interrupted when the door suddenly opens and a tall figure in a striped suit storms in. Steve evades the bodyguard who tried to stop him and walks straight to the General. His usual smile is gone. STEVE: So this is why you wouldn't let me sign the merchandising agreement! I've heard everything. I… I can't believe that, General. This is horrifying. We can't do this! General Vox looks surprised, but her surprise is quickly replaced by anger. GENERAL VOX: It's not your job to tell me – and the Chairperor – what we can or cannot do. You will go back to your work now, and I shall think of how to punish you for spying on our private conversation. STEVE: Stop with the nonsense, General! You're planning to use the Unstoppable and blow up the Paradise with everyone aboard, and I should "go back to my work"? My work is organising entertainment, not a giant deathtrap! And M'zzur trying to kill some of his best customers? That's not a way to conduct business! GENERAL VOX: Hold your tongue! How dare you talk of His Majesty like this? You're still an employee of M'zzur Enterprises! STEVE: No, General. I quit. And I'm going to inform the media about everything, right away. The General's face turns red with rage. GENERAL VOX: Enough! Get him, now! Her bodyguards jump at Steve. A short, frantic struggle ensues. You feel terrible, knowing you can't help Steve. He is quickly overpowered, but before he's knocked unconscious, he manages to grab a lanyard with a golden card that one of the bodyguards was wearing around his neck. The lanyard snaps and Steve quickly slips the card into his jacket's inner pocket, with no one but you noticing. Steve is hit on the head several times and collapses to the ground. General Vox looks at him with disgust. GENERAL VOX: Get him to the prison level; no one's going to find him there. He couldn't put our plan in danger anyway; all transmissions from the Paradise are intercepted and replaced with content prepared by our news team, and there will be no more shuttles arriving or departing. Still, we can't let a traitor go unpunished. The bodyguards leave, dragging unconscious Steve between them. General Vox exits the conservatory soon after. As she passes your hiding place – without noticing you – you spot a golden card on a lanyard around her neck. CHUK: That must be an access card to Vox's private quarters. Steve stole another one from the bodyguard. He knows much more about Vox and M'zzur Enterprises… He might know a way to stop their scheme! I need to find him! [[Exit the conservatory|westerncorridor]]

CHUK: Here's a message, pigeon! "Hello!". Deliver it to Steve, right now! The pigeon coos quietly. The screen on its backpack blinks and a message appears: "Error. Data insufficient for identifying the recipient. Please provide unique identifying data of the recipient". CHUK: Darn. I knew just "Steve" wouldn't cut it. [[Back|pigeon]]

<<set $room to 'prison'>>\ <center>Prison level</center> You're in the damp, dimly lit corridor on the lowest deck of the Perfect Paradise. There are rows of cells with steel bar doors on both sides of the corridor. There is a [[vent tunnel|notwithout]] here, through which you came. You're standing in front of a cell; [[Steve|steveprison]] is inside, stretching his [[tied hands|tryuntie]] through the bars, urging you to hurry up and untie him. Next to Steve's feet, the homing rocket pigeon is strutting in circles. [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

STEVE: Untie me first, Chuk. We can talk on our way out of here. [[Back|prison]]

You struggle with the knot, but it's tied so tight you can't loosen it. [[Back|prison]]

CHUK: Not without Steve. And my pigeon. [[Back|prison]]

STEVE: Yes, just a bit bruised. Doctor says I'm gonna live. [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

STEVE: Let's hope it won't come to this. If Vox tries to start the operation – do everything to stop her, but be smart about it. You can't openly fight her and her bodyguards. CHUK: Yeah. I'm a joke, not a fighter. Vox was right when she said that. STEVE: Chuk, don't be so hard on yourself. Especially not now. Yes, you can't compete with the likes of Gaaarg and the Cybercricket physically, but brute force is not the only way – and you, of all people, should know this. You've won the bloody tournament, after all. CHUK: With cheating. STEVE: Nonsense. You didn't break any rules. You did it your way, and in the end you've beaten them all. This is what counts. Just like right now what counts is stopping Vox and the Chairperor. [[You're right.|fighterright]] [[What if this time brute force is the only way?|bruteforce]]

STEVE: Well, glad to hear that. CHUK: I'm… really sorry. I thought you're just a greedy corporate suit who's only looking to maximise profits. I never expected you to oppose General Vox and the Chairperor. You really care about your customers, don't you? STEVE: Of course. I want to make people happy. That's why I went into live entertainment business. Well, that and to maximise profits, but there's a line I wouldn't cross to make more money. I never wanted the warriors to kill each other; trust me, I had no idea that was M'zzur's secret agenda all along. [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

STEVE: How about you? Do you think so? CHUK: No. But I never worked for the Chairperor. And never liked him. STEVE: Well, I did work for him and… looked up to him. Not sure if I liked him. But I've heard enough to know it's no misunderstanding. The Chairperor thinks killing all of us serves his purpose best… and he's ruthless in getting what he wants. [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

STEVE: I'm also surprised he takes it so seriously. He conquered many great warrior races; he shouldn't be afraid of a single individual. But he's a cautious CEO who doesn't like to leave anything to chance. And he might be concerned that some warlike races will find a source of inspiration in the prophecy, and rise against M'zzur Enterprises. [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

STEVE: I had no idea, though, now that I think about it, I should've figured it out. Vox wouldn't have wanted the Cricket in the tournament so badly if she hadn't had a good motive. And with him murdering a participant, that motive should have become clear… He shudders. STEVE: I'm just glad that freak didn't kill any more people, and got fried by you in the finals. Serves him right. [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

STEVE: What "C"? CHUK: You know, in your name. STEVE: Oh, that one. Clarence. Hey, don't make that face. See, this is why I shorten it. CHUK: Sorry. [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

STEVE: Right. The lift stops. You get off; Steve leads you through a maze of service corridors and into the arena vestibule. STEVE: We need to hurry up. Good luck, buddy. CHUK: You too. STEVE: Oh, one more thing before we split. I've almost forgotten about Rex. CHUK: Who's Rex? STEVE: General Vox's pet. A bloody Xlxian Mastiff – or "korxl", as the General likes to call it. She keeps it in the corridor leading to her apartment. That thing's huge and vicious, and will tear apart any intruder. CHUK: How do I deal with it? STEVE: I wish I knew. You'll figure something out. And remember – don't alert the guests about the danger. We don't need a ship-wide panic. He nods to you and hurries away through a service door, while you exit to the main lobby. [[Continue|mainlobby]]

[[Are you okay?|steveokay]] [[What if I'm forced to fight? I'm no warrior.|nowarrior]] [[I just wanted to tell you… I was wrong about you. You're not a bad guy.|nobadguy]] [[You seem convinced the Chairperor really wants to kill us all. Don't you think it's some… misunderstanding?|misunderstanding?]] [[Why is the Chairperor so concerned about this prophecy? Shouldn't he laugh at the idea of a single person trying to take him down?|concernedaboutprophecy]] [[Did you know the Cybercricket was working for Vox and the Chairperor?|cricketvox]] [[What does the "C" stand for?|clarence]] [[That's all the questions I've had. Let's do this.|getofflift]]

STEVE: Of course I am. CHUK: I'll do my best to stop them. STEVE: That's the spirit, Champion! [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

STEVE: Then count on me and my strike team, and don't be so pessimistic. You're not going to pull this off with that attitude. I want to see the Chuk that's beaten the Cybercricket, not Chuk the crybaby. He frowns and suddenly you're reminded of your first meeting, when you found Steve positively frightening. But now his grimace looks encouraging. You realise he really believes in you. You smile, but say nothing. You'll thank him when you've stopped the Chairperor. [[Back|steveliftquestions]]

<<set $room to 'rexroom'>>\ <center>Short corridor</center> <<if $rexdefeated>>\ You're in a short corridor, with one [[door in the south|northerncorridor]] and one [[door in the north|waitingroom]] end. In the middle of the corridor a large [[Xlxian Mastiff|lookrex]] stands motionless, frozen mid-step. It's staring into the hollow "eyes" of a [[fake Quik head|nopickuphead]], which is placed on the floor. <<elseif $rexroomagain>>\ You're standing in the doorway of a short corridor, which leads to another [[door|cantgetpastrex]]. The corridor is blocked by an angry [[Xlxian Mastiff|lookrex]], chained to the wall. You cannot pass until you somehow deal with the beast. You can only go [[back south|northerncorridor]]. <<else>><<set $rexroomagain to true>>\ Behind the golden door there is a short, dimly lit corridor leading to another door. In the middle of the corridor a large, four-legged creature sleeps. It's chained to a wall. CHUK: Must be Rex. No need to wake up, boy. You're about to cautiously step forward when the beast awakens and pounces at you with a loud hiss. The chain stops Rex inches from your face; the creature growls angrily and claps its massive teeth. For a second, your eyes meet and Rex suddenly freezes. You step back, your heart pounding, and look at the chain, checking if it's securely fastened. The beast snarls and starts walking from one side of the corridor to the other, teeth bared and tail lashing against its sides. [[Rex|lookrex]] can't chase you, but neither can you get to the [[door|cantgetpastrex]] it's guarding. You can only go [[back south|northerncorridor]]. <</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

<<if $rexdefeated>>\ Rex is standing motionless in the middle of the corridor, with one paw raised and back hunched. It's staring with full intensity into the hollow "eyes" of the fake Quik head. It pays no attention to you whatsoever, even when you come so close you could stretch your hand and pat it on its ugly head. <<else>>\ The Xlxian Mastiff is a fearsome beast. It's heavy and muscular, with large paws and a long tail with a tuft of red hair on the end. It has tiny, flat-lying ears, hairless, brown skin and a broad, salivating mouth full of yellow teeth. Even with its huge, triangular head hung low, its eyes are on the level with yours. The beast growls at you threateningly, giving a clear sign it's going to attack as soon as you come any closer. You wisely keep your distance. <</if>>\ [[Back|rexroom]]

CHUK: If I try to walk past this beast, it's surely going to eat me. I need to take care of it first. Somehow. [[Back|rexroom]]

CHUK: Better leave it where it is. I don't want Rex to eat me. [[Back|rexroom]]

CHUK: I can't get past the robot without my fake Quik head. But I don't need to go there now, anyway. [[Back|easterncorridor]]

<<if $listen == 0>><<set $listen +=1>>\ You put your earhole to the door. You hear Vox angrily talking to her bodyguards: GENERAL VOX: …are you sure you've checked everything? The Unstoppable will be here in a couple of minutes. My ship must be ready. BODYGUARD 2: Yes, ma'am. It's ready to go. But I can go and re-check if you want me to. You can hear him heading for the door you're listening at, before he's stopped by the General. GENERAL VOX: No! Both of you stay here. When the Unstoppable comes in range, we signal them and then leave the Perfect Paradise together. BODYGUARD 1: Excuse me, General, but, errr, why don't we escape sooner? I mean… isn't it a little dangerous to… GENERAL VOX: Coward! We must stay to make sure everything goes smoothly, and no one tries to mess with the Paradise's controls. We won't let the Paradise escape. [[Back|waitingroom]] <<elseif $listen ==1>><<set $listen +=1>>\ You put your earhole to the door. You hear one of the bodyguards apologetically asking General Vox: BODYGUARD 1: Excuse me, ma'am, but can we leave now? The Unstoppable is already on our radar. There's no way the Paradise could escape now. GENERAL VOX: We're fulfilling His Majesty's orders to the letter, and that's the last time I'm going to explain it to you. Mention it again, and I'll leave you here. BODYGUARD 1: N-no! Please, no! Sorry I asked! [[Back|waitingroom]] <<else>>\ You put your earhole to the door, but can only hear one of the bodyguards humming nervously and General Vox scolding him. [[Back|waitingroom]] <</if>>

You take a closer look at the framed posters. They're giant, reaching from the floor almost to the ceiling. [[Look at the leftmost poster|posterleft]] [[Look at the middle poster|postermiddle]] [[Look at the rightmost poster|posterright]] [[Back|waitingroom]]

CHUK: Okay. Everything's under control. Vox isn't leaving the Paradise anytime soon. I'll stay here and spy on her, just in case. You close the hidden door and wait for a couple of minutes. You listen at the door, but nobody's talking. Suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching the door. You jump back and dive under the table; the long tablecloth hides you from view completely. Someone enters the waiting room, leaving the office door open. You hear a voice call out: BODYGUARD 2: General! The Unstoppable is nearing the attack position! They wait for our signal to start calibrating the big guns! General Vox answers – she's close to you, in the waiting room. GENERAL VOX: Very well. Send them the signal. I have to check on something; I'll be back soon. You hear the hidden door open. Vox steps into the lift and the lift descends to the docking bay. BODYGUARD 2: Right, tell them they may shoot when they're ready. CHUK: I can't let them send that signal! [[Rush to General Vox's office|intheoffice]]

CHUK: Vox and her entourage are there. Walking in and taking them on is the absolutely last resort. I'd better listen at the door for now; I might learn how much time we have left. [[Back|waitingroom]]

The leftmost poster shows a crowd of people, above which a giant golden bust of the Chairperor hovers, rising like the sun from a dark horizon. The writing at the top of the poster says "Your Chairperor is always looking." A line at the bottom adds: "But does he smile? At M'zzur Enterprises, we want only the best. Do your best." [[Back|examineposters]]

The middle poster shows, in an abstract style, a golden door, half-open, through which beams of light shine. <<if $readerfound>>There's a not-so-well camouflaged card reader installed on the poster.<<else>>There's a card reader on the door which looks surprisingly real, as if it was coming out of the poster.<</if>> The writing below the door says: "M'zzur Enterprises. Your door to success." <<if $readerfound>>\ <<else>>[[Examine the card reader more closely|findreader]] <</if>>\ [[Back|examineposters]]

The rightmost poster shows a formidable armada of military spacecraft, and a superimposed profile portrait of General Vox, staring sternly at something in the distance. The writing at the top of the poster says: "Unite and fight for peace in the Galaxy." [[Back|examineposters]]

<<set $readerfound to true>>\ You take a closer look and discover there indeed is an actual card reader mounted on the poster. [[Back|examineposters]]

<<set $room to 'bay'>>\ <center>Launch bay</center> <<if $bayagain>>You are in a small launch bay. There is a closed [[hangar door|hangardoor]] here, in front of which a small, slender [[spaceship|spaceship]] is parked. There's a [[lift|waitingroom]] here which goes up to General Vox's quarters. <<else>><<set $bayagain to true>>You get off the [[lift|waitingroom]] in a small launch bay. There are no other entrances leading here, just a closed [[hangar door|hangardoor]] in front of which a small, slender [[spaceship|spaceship]] is parked. <</if>>\ [[Inventory & stats|inventory]] <<link "Save/load game">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

You rush into Vox's office. To your right, through a large window, you see the Crystal Moon. Below it there is a golden orb of light. The orb is growing, eclipsing the distant stars. The two bodyguards are busy at a large, complicated-looking console. Behind them a Securibot is keeping a silent watch. The bodyguards and stare at you with surprise. BODYGUARD 1: What's that thing? BODYGUARD 2: Oh – I think that's the Grand Champion. Get lost, alien freak. CHUK: Don't send that signal! The bodyguards start approaching you from the flanks. The Securibot opens its side flaps, revealing two guns. BODYGUARD 1: Oh yeah? And why should we listen to you? [[You're about to murder thousands of people! You can't do this!|murder]] [[I am the Grand Champion of the arena! If you don't do as I say, I'm going to destroy you!|thechampion]] [[Vox wants to get rid of you! Stop following her orders!|stopfollowing]]

The door's four giant locks are engaged. CHUK: Good thing. I wouldn't want to be sucked away into space. [[Back|bay]]

<<if $shipdisabled>>\ It's a small, fighter-like spacecraft that can carry two people. It's equipped with laser guns and missile launchers. The ship has no power; its fuel port is empty. [[Back|bay]] <<else>>\ It's a small, fighter-like spacecraft that can carry two people. It's equipped with laser guns and missile launchers. The ship's lights are on; it's powered up and in parking mode. CHUK: For a private ship, it sure packs an awful lot of weapons. But again, Vox is a military woman… Also, only two seats – interesting. I wonder which of the bodyguards she's planning to leave behind. [[Disable the ship|disableship]] [[Back|bay]] <</if>>\

<<set $shipdisabled to true>><<set $fuel to true>>\ CHUK: All right, time to ruin Vox's escape plan! You walk around the ship, looking for some obvious connections to disconnect or a plug to pull out, but you find no such things. CHUK: Too bad I'm not a starship mechanic. Just when you're ready to give up and start demolishing the ship using what little brute force you have, you notice a fuel port. There's a handle on its cover, and a "Turn to open" sign next to it. CHUK: How convenient! You turn the handle. The cover pops out; there's a hiss of a hermetic container sealing itself. You pull out the cover together with a small fuel block that's attached to its bottom. It's now locked in a silver container. There's a label on it which reads: "Class A solid rocket fuel, block size micro." The spaceship powers down with a short, low rumbling noise. Its lights go out. Item received: Solid rocket fuel <<if $questfuel>>\ CHUK: Guess that's what the Quik need. If I want to give them the fuel, I should do this right away. <<else>><</if>>\ [[Continue|bay]]

BODYGUARD 2: Murder? We're carrying out a military operation! BODYGUARD 1: Yeah! Following orders! BODYGUARD 2: Who do you think you are, telling us what to do? CHUK: You… idiots! You think "following orders" justifies killing innocent people? CALL OFF THE OPERATION! The door to the command centre is flung open. GENERAL VOX: CALL OFF THE OPERATION! [[Continue|confrontation1]]

The bodyguards exchange glances, then burst with laughter. They laugh so hard they cannot talk, so they just point fingers at you and laugh even more. This makes you furious. You're ready to jump at them and start punching and kicking. CHUK: THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU SEND THAT SIGNAL! CALL OFF THE OPERATION! The door to the command centre is flung open. GENERAL VOX: CALL OFF THE OPERATION! [[Continue|confrontation1]]

BODYGUARD 2: Shut your mouth! General Vox would never get rid of us! BODYGUARD 1: Yeah! We're her most trusted men! CHUK: Yeah? There are only two seats in her spaceship! You think she is going to stay behind? The bodyguards exchange uncertain glances. BODYGUARD 2: Well… umm… The General trusts me the most, so she wouldn't leave me to die! BODYGUARD 1: Are you stupid? She trusts me much more! You're staying! BODYGUARD 2: Don't make me laugh! You're staying! BODYGUARD 1: No! You! BODYGUARD 2: Now that I think of it, we shouldn't have sent the signal before sorting this out. CHUK: What? You-you've… BODYGUARD 1: Yeah! The Unstoppable is coming, and you can't stop them, stupid alien! The bodyguards exchange glances again and blood drains from their faces as they begin to realise what it means for them. BODYGUARD 1: Uh… can we call off the operation? CHUK: YES, CALL IT OFF! BODYGUARD 2: B-but the General… The door to the command centre is flung open. GENERAL VOX: CALL OFF THE OPERATION! [[Continue|confrontation1]]

You all turn to look at General Vox, who's just stormed into the room, a mad look in her eyes. GENERAL VOX: Someone has sabotaged my ship! We must halt the attack! The bodyguards rush to the control panel. BODYGUARD 2: It's no use, General! We've signalled them to stop, but the Unstoppable has just cut all communication in response! General Vox is trembling, shaking her head in disbelief. GENERAL VOX: No… NO! His Majesty… He would never…! Suddenly, she notices you and her face turns red with rage. GENERAL VOX: YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR DOING! YOU MESSED WITH MY SHIP! YOU… FILTHY ASSASSIN! TAKE HIM! BUT DON'T KILL HIM! I NEED HIM TO FIX MY SHIP! The bodyguards jump at you. You turn to flee through the door, but Vox is in your way, so instead, you dive and dash between the two men, in the direction of the console, only to find yourself staring into the barrels of the Securibot's two guns. SECURIBOT: HANDS UP, CRIMINAL! The General's face is beaming with triumph. GENERAL VOX: Take him to the launch bay. But don't kill him… yet. Just as she finishes speaking, you hear footsteps and a horrible rumble of metal approaching. GENERAL VOX: More assassins, huh? Securibot, prepare to welcome them! SECURIBOT: Yes, General! The robot takes position directly behind the office door. More flaps on its torso open, revealing additional guns. You must warn your friends, before it's too late! [[Shout out to them|confrontation2]]

The door opens… CHUK: WAIT! IT'S A TRAP! Your last words are drowned out by a powerful explosion. You look at the Securibot – or what's left of it. The upper half of the robot has simply disappeared, and the lower half, charred and smoking, is slowly crumbling away. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT appears in the doorway, his huge back-mounted cannon pointed at the blackened wreckage. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Cool! It's like we're in an action movie! Your reign of terror ends here, evil General! Hands up, or I'll disintegrate you! Vox's jaw drops. Steve and Princess Ochra run into the room. STEVE: Chuk! You all right? GENERAL VOX: Y-you! Vox backs off. Her bodyguards jump between her and Steve's strike team. GENERAL VOX: Kill that traitor! The bodyguards try to follow her orders, but are greeted by Ochra's fist. A vicious fight ensues. Vox, left alone for the moment, pulls out a gun and points it at Steve. GENERAL VOX: Call back your friends, now! Steve hesitates. You look at Vox and realise she's going to shoot him no matter what. Suddenly, you hear a faint, distorted voice coming from behind you. ???: T-t-throw m-me at-t-t Vox-x-x… You turn and see Chef-bot's severed head resting on a silver platter next to the command console. There's a weak glimmer in its eyes. CHEF-BOT: I can h-h-help… [[Hurl the head|confrontation3]]

Without further thought, you grab the head and hurl it at Vox. The General shrieks in terror and drops her gun as the head bites and holds onto her right hand. CHEF-BOT: Ahhh! W-engeance… you… awe… fo… fweet! General Vox screams and jumps, trying to shake off the robot head that keeps talking through gritted teeth. CHEF-BOT: Wanted… to dispowe… of me! Now tafte… my wrawh! Steve picks General Vox's gun and puts it to its owner's head, just as Princess Ochra finishes dealing with the two bodyguards, who drop to the ground senseless. Vox, who's only just managed to shake off the robot head, freezes. Chef-bot's head hits the ground, emits sparks and a cloud of smoke, and goes silent. STEVE: It's over, General. We're taking command of the Perfect Paradise. Call the Chairperor and tell him to turn back. The General isn't going to speak; she's only looking at your small team with contempt, so you take a deep breath and break the bad news. CHUK: She can't call off the operation. She tried. The Chairperor has cut the transmission. GENERAL VOX: M'zzur is ruthless. He's not concerned with lesser persons. She speaks with a mixture of hatred and admiration. CHUK: Ruthless or no – we will stop him! Vox laughs bitterly. GENERAL VOX: You? There's no way a traitor and some alien scum could stop him. The Galaxy is crawling with the likes of you, but there's only one Chairperor M'zzur. PRINCESS OCHRA: You- ! STEVE: Ochra, wait! The Chelac warrior punches Vox with all four fists, knocking her out. Vox groans and drops to the floor. PRINCESS OCHRA: She was only wasting our time. Quick; we have to regain control of the ship. She steps over the General and walks to the command console. Steve turns to you. [[Continue|confr3.5]]

Steve is staring at the window, his fists clenched. [[There must be a way to escape. The Unstoppable is still far away!|stillfar]] [[Can't we fight them?|fightunstoppable]] [[Come on, man, don't give up! You work for M'zzur! You must know some way to stop him!|comeonsteve]] [[I refuse to give up! I'm going to save us!|commandcentre]]

Princess Ochra is murmuring something under her breath, in Chelac. <<if $saidsorry>>\ <<else>>[[About our fight earlier… I can't really use magic. I tricked you. I think you should know.|nomagician]] <</if>>\ [[Don't give up! Don't you want to defeat M'zzur?|comeonochra]] [[I refuse to give up! I'm going to save us!|commandcentre]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT is looking at you hesitantly. <<if $deathsweakness>>[[Didn't you have an algorithm that doesn't let you attack anyone? How were you able to blow that Securibot up?|algorithm]] <<else>>[[Good job blowing that Securibot up and scaring General Vox! You're really powerful!|yourepowerful]] <</if>>\ [[I refuse to give up! I'm going to save us!|commandcentre]]

You walk to the console and quickly locate the ship's controls. In a desperate hurry, you search through all possible options, trying to make the Perfect Paradise go faster. All in vain. Then you notice a button labelled "Lunar Tether". With your heart racing you press it. A new window opens, showing a picture of the Crystal Moon and its engines. Engines! The Chairperor equipped the Crystal Moon with its own propulsion! Of course; the Perfect Paradise would never be able to pull something that size! You quickly scan the possible options. You could disconnect the Crystal Moon, or even… Send it back to Gyff. Yes – it's very much possible. You could program the Crystal Moon to go back home. <<if $fuel>>...And you could even follow it in General Vox's spaceship. You still have the fuel on you. <</if>>\ Realising this makes you dizzy. <<if $fuel>>If you take the Crystal Moon to Gyff, you're be the greatest hero your planet has ever seen. But that would mean you left everyone aboard Paradise to die. Abandoned them and escaped. <<else>>If you send the Crystal Moon to Gyff, you're be forever known as your planet's greatest hero. People will sing songs about you, name their children after you. But you'll be a dead hero. What's worse, you'll let everyone aboard Paradise die as well. <</if>>\ A cold shiver runs down your spine. You see one more possibility, but it will bring about the destruction of your people's sacred treasure. For a brief moment, you regret the elders are not here to decide for you. No, not to decide – to stop you. Because, as you turn to look at Steve's and Princess Ochra's sombre, resigned faces, you know you've already made that decision. You hover your finger over a direction button. <<if $fuelgiven>>[[Press the button|quikarrives]] <<else>>[[Press the button|moonshield]] <</if>>

STEVE: They don't need to get any closer. They're in range and only need to calibrate the main weapons. We, on the other hand, have to escape Kaldera's gravity. We're gaining speed, but for now, we're still a very slowly moving duck. CHUK: How much time do we need? STEVE: More than we have. [[Back|steveend]]

Steve shakes his head. STEVE: The Unstoppable is the single most powerful starship in existence, Chuk. Able to destroy small planets. Heavily armoured to withstand enemy fire. Princess Ochra smashes her fists together. PRINCESS OCHRA: We could board them! Fly a fast, small ship, and take down M'zzur in a single combat! <<if $fuel>>\ CHUK: That's right! I still have fuel for…<</if>>\ STEVE: There's no ship fast enough for that. The Unstoppable has hundreds of turrets designed to shoot down any incoming object in a blink of an eye. I've seen that when they were giving us a tour of the flying fortress… We were ambushed by the Xirr resistance. Great pilots, in ultra-fast starfighters. Got vaporised in seconds. [[Back|steveend]]

STEVE: I worked for him. I resigned. … No, I'm out of ideas. Sorry. If only we acted earlier… we might have escaped. Now the only way to stop the destruction of the Perfect Paradise would be to kill the Chairperor himself. CHUK: Without him, his underlings wouldn't want to attack us? STEVE: They couldn't. The Chairperor doesn't like to give others too much power. Only he can activate the Unstoppable's main weaponry. Biometric security systems, the finest produced by M'zzur Enterprises. But it's not like we can get to M'zzur and take him down, anyway. [[Back|steveend]]

You're standing in the command centre, looking at each other. The command console sits abandoned. [[Talk to Steve|steveend]] [[Talk to Princess Ochra|ochraend]] [[Talk to THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT|deathsend]] [[Operate the console|console1]]

<<set $saidsorry to true>>\ PRINCESS OCHRA: I knew when I took a better look at my broken "swords", you little imp. You made me a laughingstock! You... you made me flee from a fight! I should crush you for that! But.. but it no longer matters. She looks resigned. [[I'm sorry.|saysorry]] [[Don't blame me. I used your own weakness against you.|yourownweakness]]

PRINCESS OCHRA: I hope he will be defeated one day, but I now know it won't be by my hand. To think I was arrogant enough to believe I was the warrior from the prophecy… Now I must accept death with dignity, and leave fighting M'zzur to others. [[Back|ochraend]]

PRINCESS OCHRA: No need to. I… uh… I'm not angry at you anymore. I let my own fears defeat me. You taught me an important lesson – sometimes fighting skills and spirit are not enough to win a battle. Maybe that's why we Chelac were defeated by M'zzur… She lapses into grim silence. [[Back|ochraend]]

PRINCESS OCHRA: It's hard for me to admit it, but… you're right. I put too much faith in omens and predictions, and let that cloud my own judgement. I would've defeated you easily if I hadn't let my own fears defeat me first. It's a stain on my honour, and I won't live long enough to remove it… She lapses into grim silence. [[Back|ochraend]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Oh, I only can't shoot sentient living creatures. Nothing stops me from destroying my own kind. My makers considered blowing up bots completely acceptable! It's a little sad, but this time I'm happy I could save you. That poor Securibot was on the wrong side. CHUK: So, when you threatened Vox, you were bluffing? THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Yes! Totally! Learned that from a book! Oh, it was so exciting, telling bold lies in face of danger! [[Back|deathsend]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: You think so? Thanks! I'm a tiny little sad I had to blow up a fellow robot, but it was on the wrong side, after all. Too bad my anti-violence algorithm doesn't let me attack sentient living creatures, or I would've shot the General instead and liberated that poor Securibot! CHUK: Wait, you mean you can't shoot people? THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Nope! With Vox, I was totally bluffing! Learned that from a book! Oh, it was so exciting, telling bold lies in face of danger! [[Back|deathsend]]

You hover your finger over the button. You're about to sacrifice the Crystal Moon, but if it's the only way to save the Perfect Paradise… Suddenly, you hear a patter of small feet and a Quik runs into the room. It has a tool belt around its waist – it must be the Quik mechanic. QUIK: Wait! You freeze, your button still over the finger. PRINCESS OCHRA: Hey, you! Stop! She tries to catch the Quik, but it nimbly eludes her and runs towards you. QUIK: Quik no enemy, no work for General! It stops and glances at the console. QUIK: You no need destroy pretty moon! Quik have their plan ready, but Quik need you come fast! PRINCESS OCHRA: Wait – what plan? What is going on? CHUK: I – I wanted to use the Crystal Moon to shield us from the Unstoppable's fire… QUIK: No! No need! Quik build a ship, but Quik need Chuk to pilot! The fastest ship ever! Chuk can go to Unstoppable and defeat Chairperor! No Chairperor – big gun cannot fire – we all safe! STEVE: Wait – you can't be serious. You built a ship? You? The Quik? CHUK: Let it speak! I – I want to save the Crystal Moon as well! It's my planet's moon! It's important! I came here for it! Steve seems to be processing all the new information. Princess Ochra is just looking confused. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: What a surprising turn of events! It really is like an action movie! Wo-hoo! The Quik looks at you urgingly. QUIK: Come, Chuk, no time! You make your decision. CHUK: All right! If there's any chance… Steve, take control of the Moon Tether. Position the Moon between us and the Unstoppable. If I can't make it, at least you will be safe. STEVE: But Chuk – You no longer listen to him. You and the Quik mechanic leave the room, running as fast as your short legs can carry you. On your way, you have time to ask the Quik some questions, although talking now will likely leave you out of breath. [[You said you've… built a ship?|askship]] [[Why are you fighting the Chairperor?|askwhyfight]] [[Why do you want me to pilot your ship?|askpilot]] [[How did you know about the Chairperor's plan?|askknowplan]] [[How can defeating the Chairperor stop the Unstoppable?|askhowstop]] [[O-okay… huff… I've no more… huff… questions.|boardship]]

And then you press it. The Crystal Moon, freed from its tether, starts moving slowly. STEVE: Chuk? What are you doing? THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: I think he's moving the moon! How amazing! You bite your lip and focus on steering. It seems to take forever – but in reality, it's only a couple of minutes. Finally, you release the button. An incoming message flashes on the console screen. The Chairperor's flying fortress has finished calibrating the weaponry and is ready to open fire. PRINCESS OCHRA: Come, death! I welcome you with open arms! For the Chelac! STEVE: No, Ochra, no! We're not going to die! Look! Chuk has – You see a brilliant flash of light, but then the Moon moves into position, eclipsing the Unstoppable with its delicate, crystal beauty. You flip a switch, killing the Moon's engines. There's a brief moment of peace, and then the Crystal Moon trembles and shakes. Giant fragments break away from it. Tears flow to your eyes and everything gets hazy. The Unstoppable doesn't hold fire, slowly, methodically destroying the Moon. STEVE: They think they can still get to us! He rushes to the console, pushing you aside, and takes control of the helm. As the Perfect Paradise picks up speed, the crumbling Moon grows smaller outside the window. Only half of it remains now – the rest is crystal shards and dust, drifting in space. But it's still holding together, shielding you. You'd like to turn your eyes away, but you force yourself to watch. No other Gyffid will see the Crystal Moon ever again. [[Continue|moonshield2]]

Fragments of the Moon shine like so many stars, farther and farther in the distance. A single blast from the Unstoppable's cannons gets through and flies by, narrowly missing the Paradise. Steve is struggling with the controls. Princess Ochra screams in Chelac and laughs. The Perfect Paradise turns, and you can no longer see the Crystal Moon. The rusty-red orb that is Kaldera grows smaller until it disappears, too. STEVE: No way they can catch up with us now! The Unstoppable wasn't made for high-speed chases! M'zzur won't let us get away with this so easily, of course. But there are places we could go to elude him. We'll have to drop off the guests somewhere, then… okay, I have a few ideas already. We'll pull this off. He steps away from the helm and wipes sweat off his brow. STEVE: I can hardly believe I'm still alive! The Chairperor must be furious! And it's all thanks to you, Chuk. Your move with that moon was tactical mastery. He sees your expression. STEVE: Hey, what's up with that face? You explain. Steve and Ochra stare at you in shock. STEVE: I had no idea… Chuk… I simply don't know what to say. That… sacrifice… CHUK: Well… I wanted to live, too. But… my people. They… might hate me for what I did. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT drives to you on its tank tracks and puts a massive arm around your neck. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Don't worry about them, Chuk! You saved everyone on this ship from dying a horrible, fiery death! That was a good thing to do, so don't regret it! PRINCESS OCHRA: We Chelac say that it's better to die in battle than be captured by the enemy. Your Moon was the Chairperor's slave. Now M'zzur no longer has it; you denied it to him. That was a true warrior's decision. For the first time, she's looking at you with respect. STEVE: That's… an amazing story, Chuk! Grand Champion of the tournament, saviour of innocents… People are going to love you! Well, except Chairperor M'zzur. But M'zzur has enough enemies in the Galaxy, and they're going to pay crazy sums for the merchandise we'll produce. With me as your agent… oh, right. Sorry. Forgot myself there. Now is not the time. We'll discuss this amazing business opportunity later. An alarm sounds and Steve turns to face the console. STEVE: Uh-oh… some people are panicking in the guest area. Come on, Death's, we should go calm them down. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Sure, Steve! Oooh, that's exciting! May I talk to them? I've read about the psychology of the crowd and – STEVE: I just need you to stand there, looking big and scary. I'll do the talking. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Big and scary? I'm not sure I can do that. I'm much too friendly and outgoing… Steve and THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT leave the room in a hurry. PRINCESS OCHRA: I believe you need some time on your own, little warrior. She follows after them, dragging away the unconscious general and her bodyguards. [[Continue|thinking]]

You're alone in General Vox's office. You take a seat on a leather upholstered chair facing the window. On the other side of the window you see the blackness of outer space and tiny dots of stars. You close your eyes. You have time to think about everything. The loss of the Crystal Moon. All the lives the Moon saved. Your people... what will they say when they learn about everything? [[Continue|timetoact]]

<<set $endingmoon to true>>\ Despite the sadness you feel, you smile. Whatever the elders might say – you know you made the right decision. In a sense, it was more difficult than winning the tournament, but you did it. The Chairperor didn't get to kill anyone today, because you stopped him. ???: And that is something much greater than winning a fighting tournament! Startled, you open your eyes. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Uh – sorry! You were talking to yourself – I thought you were composing the ending to an autobiographical novel, and wanted to help! But we can work on that line later – Steve needs you and sent me to fetch you! Some passengers are causing trouble. Steve explained to everyone what happened, and got attacked by a green, blobby alien for "betrayal and defamation of the Chairperor"! Then an orange lady cried that the Grand Champion – that's you – was murdered, and fainted! One of Vox's bodyguards ran off and barricaded himself in the kitchen! A Quik came and told us the chief engineer was attacked by a swarm of crickets and bitten! You quickly get up. Looks like they need you! CHUK: Okay, roll and tell everybody not to worry! I'm on my way! <center>[[Thus end Chuk's adventures in the Arena.|endingmoon]]</center>

QUIK: Yes! Quik no stupid. People think Quik stupid, because Quik speak funny. Quik know Quik not know Galaxian very good, but M'zzur company only give Quik one week language crash course! M'zzur company want Quik look stupid, but Quik very good engineers. M'zzur company bad – make Quik… do forced labor, treat Quik bad. But we also learn use tools, learn engineering! Quik planet have no metal, no coal, Quik never have industry. Now Quik learn quietly, do lot of work, remember everything! Quik want freedom back, want defeat M'zzur. Quik serve on M'zzur big warship, too. Know the ship. Know you need a very, very fast ship to break through defences! So, Quik built one! You help Quik very much, bringing parts! Without you, no Quik ship! [[Couldn't we just use General Vox's personal starfighter?|usevoxship]] [[Back|runquestions]]

QUIK: Chairperor evil! He take Quik off their planet, force Quik to work for him, treat bad! CHUK: He enslaved you. QUIK: Enslaved… New word, course not teach it. Yes. Chairperor enslave Quik, and Quik want freedom back! Quik like more time, better prepare, but now Chairperor want blow up Perfect Paradise, so Quik must act fast! [[Back|runquestions]]

QUIK: Need very brave pilot! Only brave fighter can kill evil M'zzur! And Quik ship really small, fast ship need be small. Only fit a small person inside. Quik earlier want choose strongest of themselves, but Quik worry it not be enough! Quik not good fighters. But then you appear! Small like Quik, fit in ship! Kind to Quik, help them! And great warrior, win tournament! You hero, Chuk! Can go and defeat evil M'zzur! [[Back|runquestions]]

QUIK: Quik know lot. People no see Quik. Think Quik stupid, think Quik... furniture! Quik spy M'zzur officers! Quik go everywhere, only not in M'zzur's room and General's room. Quik build a device to listen radio talks. Quik worry Chairperor want do something horrible, so Quik build ship faster. Quik now know what bad thing is, but Quik ship ready! There is chance! [[Back|runquestions]]

QUIK: Quik know Chairperor's warship. Big weapons! Blow up everything! But only M'zzur make them fire. Special buttons, other people press, nothing happen! M'zzur want no one else use his weapon! So, you kill M'zzur, warship cannot attack! [[Back|runquestions]]

QUIK: Good, Chuk! Hurry, hurry, no much time! The Quik leads you to a side corridor, where it removes a rusty plate from the wall, revealing a low crawlspace. QUIK: Here! Fast! The crawlspace leads to a small hangar bay, full of equipment. You see space suits of different sizes, some with rocket backpacks; a small, box-shaped, rusty spaceship and, right in front of the hangar door, something that looks like a giant space bullet. QUIK: This maintenance hangar! Quik do maintenance in and out Paradise! No one else come here, Quik can build! About two dozen of Quik are working on the bullet-like thing, tightening screws, checking pipes and doing other launch preparations. Your guide leads you straight to the bullet. QUIK: Here! Put on suit and get in cockpit! Two other Quik help you don a Gyffid-sized spacesuit. You eye the ship with suspicion. The thing looks fast, that's sure. Slim and pointed, it's shining silver, except for the front window, which is covered with gold foil. QUIK: That gold is screen, protect you from radiation and temperature! You take a deep breath. If you back down now, either the Crystal Moon, or, if plan B fails, the Perfect Paradise will for sure be destroyed. CHUK: Okay. How do I pilot this thing? The Quik help you get into the claustrophobic cockpit, buckle your seatbelt and give you an overview of the ship's controls and the main computer – which is Baron von Schmerzkopf's pocket watch, mounted on the instrument board. Turns out it's all very simple. The ship is already programmed to go straight for the Unstoppable, avoid the defence cannons thanks to its speed and hit the bridge, piercing the warship's hull just like a bullet, and bringing you straight to where M'zzur sits in his command chair. QUIK: Chuk only need to take care of M'zzur! CHUK: Suddenly, the flight sounds like the easy part… Too late to change your mind now. QUIK: Go, Chuk! The Quik seal the cockpit, wave to you and run out of the hangar. The bay door opens and the bullet-ship's engines power up. The whole ship vibrates violently, as if it was going to fall apart, and then… It SHOOTS OUT. [[Continue|arrival]]

[[You said you've… built a ship?|askship]] [[Why are you fighting the Chairperor?|askwhyfight]] [[Why do you want me to pilot your ship?|askpilot]] [[How did you know about the Chairperor's plan?|askknowplan]] [[How can defeating the Chairperor stop the Unstoppable?|askhowstop]] [[O-okay… huff… I've no more… huff… questions.|boardship]]

QUIK: No, it much too slow. Quik ship like bullet, to send a person straight to the heart of M'zzur warship! [[Back|runquestions]]

You scream, but you can't hear your own voice. You tear through space at a terrifying speed. Light, shadow, light again flood the cockpit. You can't see much through the gold foil. You fight to stay conscious. It all abruptly ends when you hit something. The ship comes to a stop, but you don't. The nose of your vessel opens and you're catapulted forward with your seat. You glide on the golden floor. Parachutes open to slow you down. You hear screams and gunshot, then a commanding voice shouts "Stop!" You unbuckle your seatbelt and tumble forward. Then, you stand up and look around. You're in the middle of a giant room. In front of you, on top of a short flight of steps, there is a platform, a computer console and a golden throne. You see a face you recognise from countless pictures. Chairperor M'zzur is sitting on the throne, looking at you with bored contempt. Right behind the Chairperor there is a giant window. Along the walls of the room there are more consoles. Between two of them the Quik ship sticks out of a giant hole in the wall, like a silver plug. A dozen of guards in golden armour are closing in on you, surrounding you and pointing their guns at you. GUARD: Your Majesty, this surely is an assassin sent by the competition! We will exterminate him! THE CHAIRPEROR: Nonsense. We do not have competition anymore. He addresses you. THE CHAIRPEROR: Who are you, alien? [[Look at Chairperor M'zzur|lookmzzur]] [[Look at the command console|lookmzzurconsole]] [[Look at the guards|lookmzzurguards]] [[Talk to Chairperor M'zzur|talkmzzur]]

Chairperor M'zzur, CEO of M'zzur Enterprises and ruler of the Galaxy, is looking down on you from his throne. He's an ageless-looking man, wearing business clothes that must have costed a fortune. His platinum hair is coiffed in horn-like shapes that surround a face with complexion so perfect and so pale, it looks almost inhuman. He studies you with an air of disdain. [[Back|lookbridge]]

On the console next to the throne there's a set of blinking displays and many rows of buttons. This must be where the Unstoppable's weaponry is activated. [[Back|lookbridge]]

The guards are surrounding you from behind and from the sides. The only way left for you would be forward, towards the Chairperor, but you're certain the guards would shoot you the moment you moved. [[Back|lookbridge]]

You clear your throat. The Chairperor raises an eyebrow. CHUK: I… I am Chuk, and I'm here to stop you. Your voice sounds small. You must look so silly and insignificant, standing here, a tiny Gyffid in a tiny spacesuit. GUARD: How dare you address His Majesty this way? On your knees! Apologise! THE CHAIRPEROR: Let him be; we shouldn't expect too much from uncivilised aliens. He looks at you again. THE CHAIRPEROR: Stop me? That is, indeed, an ambitious task, and one you will most certainly fail. Still, even getting here is worth high praise. I must have the defences improved… and your little ship analysed. I'm sure this technology will prove useful. CHUK: THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! The guards move a step towards you, but the Chairperor stops them. THE CHAIRPEROR: You have quite the courage, little alien, coming here and shouting at me. CHUK: Listen, you must stop this madness! You can't just kill everybody on the Perfect Paradise! These are innocent people! THE CHAIRPEROR: We should never let abstract notions such as innocence come in our way when we're conducting business. And the people on the Perfect Paradise, taken as a whole… are bad for my business. He smiles faintly. THE CHAIRPEROR: Well, well. I'm trying to teach management to a tiny alien who crashed into my bridge. And, speaking of business – He stretches his hand towards the console. CHUK: NO! PLEASE! M'zzur's hand stops. [[You're going to kill your own employees as well! Even General Vox!|killvox]] [[Why do you even care about some old prophecy?|chairpprophecy]] [[The people of the Galaxy will rise against you if you commit this atrocious mass murder!|rebellion]] [[You stole my planet's moon!|stolemymoon]] [[Aren't you going to listen to any of my arguments?|notgonnalisten]]

[[Look at Chairperor M'zzur|lookmzzur]] [[Look at the command console|lookmzzurconsole]] [[Look at the guards|lookmzzurguards]] [[Talk to Chairperor M'zzur|talkmzzur]]

THE CHAIRPEROR: Is that so? This explains the panicked call from her office. Well, it is a pity, but if the General didn't secure her own escape route, that is her problem, not mine. Her failure clearly shows she is not as valuable as I thought her to be. As for the others… I have unlimited reserves of personnel. This necessary sacrifice won't affect my enterprise. [[Back|questionsmzzur]]

THE CHAIRPEROR: Oh, looks like you know quite a bit. That's commendable. Yes, I indeed want to get rid of all the greatest warriors in the Galaxy, and it's because of the old seer's prophecy. As silly as such things are, they still have the power to motivate people who believe in them. I want to make sure the believers have no "mighty warrior" left to follow. CHUK: Aren't you afraid I might be the one from the prophecy? I can, and will, defeat you, if that's the only way to stop your scheme! THE CHAIRPEROR: Firstly, do not call my business plan "schemes", you alien lowlife. Secondly – for goodness' sake, do you really think I could be worried about you defeating me? You, a tiny, helpless creature, surrounded by my elite guard? If you believe this "prophecy" nonsense, you're a fool. Alas, there are many fools in the Galaxy, and many more ready to follow them. That is why I must ensure no one will ever speak of this idiotic prophecy again. It's because of people like you that the Paradise has to be annihilated. [[Back|questionsmzzur]]

THE CHAIRPEROR: They won't, because they won't see me destroy the Perfect Paradise. Instead, they will learn how vicious terrorists, disguised as "tournament fighters", attempted to assassinate me and, discovering I'm not on the ship, still decided to destroy it in a suicidal bombing, killing thousands of innocents. We have some excellent video material prepared. Now, tell me, who do you think people will rise against when they see it? [[Back|questionsmzzur]]

THE CHAIRPEROR: Is that so? What's your planet called? CHUK: Gyff! The Crystal Moon was holy to us Gyffids, and you just came and took it from us! THE CHAIRPEROR: Possibly. Gyff, Gyff… doesn't ring a bell. I don't remember every backwater planet my people collect exhibits from. Still, your moon is beautiful, I must admit. I think I'll have it attached to the Unstoppable after the Paradise is obliterated. [[It's our Moon, not yours! You must return it to Gyff!|giveitback]] [[Back|questionsmzzur]]

One of the guards steps forward. GUARD: Alien scum! You think you can argue with the Chairperor? Chairperor M'zzur sighs quietly. THE CHAIRPEROR: Your insolence, Chuk, is wearing my patience thin. You're clearly out of you mind if you think you can tell me what to do – or what not to do – with my own spaceship. CHUK: Are you going to kill me? THE CHAIRPEROR: Kill? No, unless you do something reckless and force my guards to shoot you. But I'd much rather have my people talk with you. Especially about that thing you came in. A most fascinating design. He turns to look at the console. THE CHAIRPEROR: But there will be time for that later. For now, I have to make sure the Perfect Paradise is destroyed, together with all the greatest warriors in the Galaxy. It will be a magnificent triumph of peace… and my triumph. THE CHAIRPEROR: Guards, watch over our guest. If he tries to attack, kill him, otherwise, do him no harm. He starts moving switches and pushing buttons at the console. [[Continue|lastpuzzle]]

[[You're going to kill your own employees as well! Even General Vox!|killvox]] [[Why do you even care about some old prophecy?|chairpprophecy]] [[The people of the Galaxy will rise against you if you commit this atrocious mass murder!|rebellion]] [[You stole my planet's moon!|stolemymoon]] [[Aren't you going to listen to any of my arguments?|notgonnalisten]]

THE CHAIRPEROR: Oh – I thought you were here because you wanted to save the people aboard the Paradise with your foolish heroism. But now you want to talk about material objects? Maybe you are a businessman, after all. CHUK: The Moon is not just an object to us, Gyffids! But – but I don't care about this nearly as much as I care about stopping you from destroying the Paradise! I'll let you have it if you promise not to hurt anyone! THE CHAIRPEROR: My, you really are out of your mind. [[Back|questionsmzzur]]

CHUK: I'll be dead before I reach the stairs. [[Back|lastpuzzle]]

<<set $room to 'bridge'>>\ You feel the deck vibrate under your feet as the main weapons of the Unstoppable power up. You only have moments left to act. [[Charge at the Chairperor|chaaarge]] [[Inventory & stats|inventory]]

You spend the next hour or so drifting in space, further and further away from the Unstoppable. When the first shock passes, you start wondering how long your air supply will last. Still, the plan has worked. The Unstoppable did not open fire. You saved the Perfect Paradise. And your planet's Crystal Moon. You close your eyes and try to think about your happy days on Gyff. Gyffids believe the souls of their departed continue to live on the Crystal Moon. You'll soon learn if that's true. Suddenly, you bump into something hard and are grabbed around the waist. Startled, you open your eyes and see that you're being securely held by a mechanical arm. The arm is attached to the boxlike, ugly maintenance ship. There are at least six Quik in the ship's cockpit, and they all start waving excitedly when they notice you're looking at them. Hardly believing your own eyes, you wave back. The small ship turns back and heads towards the safe hangar on the Perfect Paradise, carrying you in its single claw. [[Continue|backonparadise]]

Back on the Perfect Paradise, the Quik help you out of the spacesuit. You're feeling dizzy and must support yourself on the Quik leader to walk. The Quik are swarming around you, laughing, talking over themselves and patting you on the back. QUIK: Chuk, you do great thing, important thing! Warship no fire, mean evil M'zzur defeated! Quik have chance be free again! And Paradise safe, thank to you! CHUK: Ye-yeah… Say, how did you find me? QUIK: Chuk spacesuit has transmitter in it! Quik see Chuk float in space, Quik get on ship, go find Chuk! Quik never leave Chuk to die! CHUK: …Well, thanks, guys. You saved my life. You feel happy and as light as a feather. QUIK: You save us! And save Moon! No worry, it safe! Quik go to Steve, tell him: "Catch Moon with tether again!". Moon can go back to Chuk planet! [[Continue|lookend]]

STEVE: That's right! Steve and THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT enter the hangar, led by a Quik. STEVE: Look who's back! You did it, Chuk! You're a hero! And the Quik... I was so wrong about you, guys! I feel like an idiot now! CHUK: Where are we? Are we safe? STEVE: We're in interplanetary space. Heading towards a backwater system. I have a few… acquaintances there. They'll provide shuttles to transport home our passengers. I plan to stay low for a while – M'zzur Enterprises might be looking for us, though with the Chairperor dead I'm sure they have bigger problems on their hands. Man, I can hardly believe I'm saying all this. The Chairperor dead! CHUK: Yeah… I, too, can hardly believe it's not all a dream. STEVE: I'm so glad nothing bad happened to that Moon of yours, too. It's beautiful. Now I understand why a little guy like you found courage to come here and sign up for the tournament. By the way… I suppose you've already decided you're taking it back to your planet, right? CHUK: Yes! After all, that's why I came here in the first place. STEVE: Okay, then I'll ask no further. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Oooh, but your plan was so nice, Steve! You could really make a ton of money by travelling across the Galaxy with the Moon and showing it for a handsome fee! STEVE: Shut up! Don't listen to him, Chuk. That wasn't a plan, more like a… spontaneous idea. Take the Moon back to Gyff. It's yours. CHUK: No – it belongs to all Gyffids. You think about your people, and how they will celebrate your return with the Crystal Moon. It's almost too wonderful to imagine. STEVE: Okay, Chairperor-slayer. I must get back to work. No pressure, but… come visit me in the main lobby once you've rested, okay? I'd like to discuss some amazing business opportunities with you, the Galaxy's newest star. If I find time… The situation is a little, let's say, tense at the moment. Steve smiles at you and leaves the hangar in a hurry. THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Ah, that Steve! Always so busy, as if preventing panic among passengers was more important than talking to the one and only Chuk, slayer of the evil M'zzur! [[Wait, what 'panic among the passengers?'|timetoact2]]

THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT: Oh, that – nothing too serious. Some folks are causing trouble. Earlier, Steve explained to everyone what happened, and got attacked by a green, blobby alien for "betrayal and defamation of the Chairperor"! Then an orange lady cried that the Grand Champion – that's you – sacrificed his life to save us, and fainted! One of Vox's bodyguards ran off and barricaded himself in the kitchen! The chief engineer was attacked by a swarm of crickets and bitten! Oh, and Princess Ochra is harassing some Quik. Wants them to build her a ship, right now! She's just itching to get back to her planet and start a revolt against M'zzur Enterprises! Listening to THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT, you realise there's no time to rest now! They need you! CHUK: Okay, roll and tell everybody not to worry! I'm on my way! <center>[[Thus end Chuk's adventures in the Arena|endingmzzur]]</center>

<center>A game by Agnieszka Trzaska. QA testers: Szymon Kulisz Jessica Knoch Wade Clarke Doug Egan Olga Niedziela [[Back to main menu|mainmenu]]</center>

The book opens on a bookmarked page, which describes Kaldera – the planet the Perfect Paradise is orbiting. KALDERA – a small, barren planet in the Voynik-Haaz sector of the M'zzur Empire. Devoid of any points of interest, permanent inhabitance or significance. You flip through some pages, looking at other's planets' descriptions, but they are all extremely brief and boring – just geographical data, nothing about the inhabitants of the planets and their cultures. [[Pick a different book to read|pickbook]] [[That's enough reading for now|library]]

KALDERA – a small, barren planet in the Voynik-Haaz. Famous as the planet near which Chairperor M'zzur was assassinated, which set events in motion, leading to the → Great Revolt against M'zzur Enterprises. Complete Guide to the Planets of the Galaxy, 4th Edition <center>[[Main menu|mainmenu]]</center>

KALDERA – a small, barren planet in the Voynik-Haaz sector of the M'zzur Empire. Kaldera is surrounded by beautiful crystal rings, which form the base of the planet's thriving economy, as countless tourists from all around the Galaxy arrive each year to gaze at the legendary rings. Complete Guide to the Planets of the Galaxy, 4th Edition <center>[[Main menu|mainmenu]]</center>

<<if tags().includes("col")>> <<if $color == 'red'>> <<removeclass ".chuk" "blue2">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "green2">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "grey2">> <<addclass ".chuk" "red">> <<elseif $color == 'blue'>> <<removeclass ".chuk" "red">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "green2">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "grey2">> <<addclass ".chuk" "blue2">> <<elseif $color == 'green'>> <<removeclass ".chuk" "red">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "blue2">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "grey2">> <<addclass ".chuk" "green2">> <<else>> <<removeclass ".chuk" "red">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "blue2">> <<removeclass ".chuk" "green2">> <<addclass ".chuk" "grey2">> <</if>> <</if>>

LIBRARIAN: I'm sooo tired... Just like a frog that's about to hibernate... [[Back|greyask]]

LIBRARIAN: Don't mention these creatures to me! Why were they even created? Ugly, slimy and despised; I pity them, but I'm also repulsed by them, and it makes me feel so guilty and sad! [[Back|blueask]]

LIBRARIAN: THE ONLY AMPHIBIAN I SEE IS YOU! SCRAM, FROGFACE! [[Back|redask]]

LIBRARIAN: Let me see... Looks lke someone has borrowed all our herpetology handbooks. But I remember the scary robot being really enthusiastic about some snakes and toads the other day. I believe he was reading a book titled Poisonous Animals and Where to Find Them, which is still here. [[Back|greenask]]

MADAME GOLGADUL: Oh, my! She rushes to the bathroom. CHUK: Now, about my card... You quickly look through the deck. CHUK: This card is called "The Death". I know very little about tarot, but I don't think this one is a good omen. Item lost: Personalised tarot card You place the card with your portrait on top of the deck and cover it with "The Death". You're barely done when you hear footsteps from the corridor. You dash behind the nearest curtain, hiding from view. [[Keep very quiet and watch|scam1a]]

Princess Ochra storms into the room. OCHRA: Seer! Where are you? The fortune teller returns from the bathroom, grunting something about silly pranks. OCHRA: I need the cards' advice – now! I have an ominous feeling about my next fight. I think that sorcerer is up to no good. MADAME GOLGADUL: By "sorcerer" you mean that rather small Gyffid by the name of Chuk? The four-armed woman pounds a fist on the table. OCHRA: Don't mock me! I'm paying you to advise me, not to make fun of me! I need to know if I'm going to defeat that sorcerer! MADAME GOLGADUL: Very well… [[Continue|scam2]]

The way west is blocked by red metal bars. A sign attached to the bars reads: Closed for maintenance. We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. [[Step back|northerncorridor]]

The warriors circle around each other, flexing muscles and exchanging threats. Finally, the Cybercricket shouts: THE CYBERCRICKET: Get 'im, girls! The dark mass on his arms starts to ripple and shift, then takes flight. It turns out to be a swarm of huge crickets, each with a red radio antenna implanted on its head and with glistening metal jaws. Abnormal Joe screams in terror as the cloud of crickets envelops him. He tries to shake off the insects, with some success. Covering his face with a hand, he rushes at the Cybercricket and they start to wrestle. Both warriors seem equally powerful, but Joe, still covered with biting, vicious crickets, is losing strength much faster. Soon he's on his knees, supporting himself with one arm, struggling to get up with desperate resolve. THE CYBERCRICKET: You're stubborn, I'll give you that! He walks to the arena fencing. STEVE: OH, NO, NOT AGAIN! [[Continue|introact3_b]]

The Cybercricket grabs one of the thick steel bars and rips it from the base. Then he walks to Abnormal Joe and brings the bar down on his head. Abnormal Joe moans and drops down. The crowd cheers, considering the match to be over, but the Cybercricket isn't done yet. He kicks the unconscious, bleeding opponent in the head, over and over again. You have no doubt he’s trying to kill him. STEVE: STOP! STOP, I SAID! THE MATCH IS OVER! STEP BACK, CRICKET! STEP BACK NOW! The Cybercricket hesitates for a moment, and then several people jump onto the arena from the tribunes and drag him away from Joe. You recognise Princess Ochra among them; the others look like gladiators as well. STEVE: AAAND… WE'VE GOT THE SECOND FINALIST! You hear relief in Steve's voice. Paramedics rush to help Abnormal Joe, and the Cybercricket, no longer showing any murderous intent, shakes his fist in the air and walks off the arena, not looking back. The swarm of crickets follows him obediently. [[Continue|introact3part2]]

<<set $thinkmoon to true>>You have no doubt that the Crystal Moon is the most beautiful celestial body in existence. And it's sacred to your race, the Gyffids. You believe souls of the departed find rest and peace among its azure spires and white forests of crystal trees. For hundreds of thousands of years the Moon lit up the night sky on Gyff, bringing joy with its beauty. Now the night sky over Gyff looks sad and empty. You look at the Crystal Moon and smile. Your heart fills with hope. <<if $thinkmzzur>>\ <<else>>[[Think about Chairperor M'zzur|thinkmzzur]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinktournament>>\ <<else>>[[Think about the tournament|thinktournament]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkgyff>>\ <<else>>[[Think about your home planet|thinkgyff]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkmoon && $thinkmzzur && $thinktournament && $thinkgyff>>\ [[Continue|intro2]] <</if>>\

<<set $thinkmzzur to true>>Chairperor M'zzur, chairman of M'zzur Enterprises, is the unquestioned ruler of the Galaxy. A powerful man who doesn't care one bit about others. One fateful day M'zzur Enterprises' ships arrived at Gyff's orbit and took the Crystal Moon away, because the Chairperor decided it would look nice attached to his cruiser. It was as if they stole the collective soul of all Gyffids. The Chairperor committed an act of injustice – no, a heinous crime against your race. Even now thinking about it makes you feel anger and despair. But you will right that wrong. You're here to take back the Crystal Moon. <<if $thinkmoon>>\ <<else>>[[Think about the Crystal Moon|thinkmoon]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinktournament>>\ <<else>>[[Think about the tournament|thinktournament]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkgyff>>\ <<else>>[[Think about your home planet|thinkgyff]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkmoon && $thinkmzzur && $thinktournament && $thinkgyff>>\ [[Continue|intro2]] <</if>>\

<<set $thinktournament to true>>The Grand Galactic Fighting Tournament. You believe it may be your chance to get back the Crystal Moon. You hope the Moon is the “fabulous prize” mentioned in the leaflet; if not, you'll refuse to accept the prize and beg the Chairperor to return the Moon to Gyff instead. That is, if you win the tournament. Which won't be easy, considering you have no fighting experience at all. You don't even look like a warrior; Gyffids are small compared to most other races, with thin limbs and heavy, round, big-mouthed heads. You can change the colour of your skin, though, and that counts for something. Even so, thinking about the powerful opponents you're going to face makes you very nervous. <<if $thinkmoon>>\ <<else>>[[Think about the Crystal Moon|thinkmoon]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkmzzur>>\ <<else>>[[Think about Chairperor M'zzur|thinkmzzur]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkgyff>>\ <<else>>[[Think about your home planet|thinkgyff]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkmoon && $thinkmzzur && $thinktournament && $thinkgyff>>\ [[Continue|intro2]] <</if>>\

<<set $thinkgyff to true>>Above anything else, you're here for the people of Gyff. Gyffids need the Crystal Moon, and you're the only Gyffid brave enough to try and take it back. The elders of your village were horrified when you told them about your plan and categorically forbade you to participate in the tournament, calling you a hot-headed fool who'd get himself killed. But that didn't discourage you. You'll prove them wrong when you return with the Moon. <<if $thinkmoon>>\ <<else>>[[Think about the Crystal Moon|thinkmoon]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkmzzur>>\ <<else>>[[Think about Chairperor M'zzur|thinkmzzur]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinktournament>>\ <<else>>[[Think about the tournament|thinktournament]] <</if>>\ <<if $thinkmoon && $thinkmzzur && $thinktournament && $thinkgyff>>\ [[Continue|intro2]] <</if>>\

Steve smiles. STEVE: You surprise me, mister… didn't catch your name…? Mr. Chuk? All right. Can I just call you Chuk? Thanks. Call me Steve, by the way. You don't look like a warrior, but you seem very confident. I like your attitude! Unfortunately, I can't get you in the tournament. The registration has already closed. In fact, we're about to start the quarter-finals in just a few hours. I'm terribly sorry, pal. Guess your shuttle was delayed? These things happen all the time when you fly cheap, unreliable starlines. If I could suggest something, friend – choose M'zzur Cruises next time! Now, since you're already here, why not watch some fights? We've got one coming up that will be simply amazing! [[But I must fight! It's really important!|intro3]]

Steve answers politely, even though he must be laughing at you on the inside. STEVE: You surprise me, mister… didn't catch your name…? Mr. Chuk? All right. Can I just call you Chuk? Thanks. Call me Steve, by the way. See, I'm glad you're interested in participating, and I'd love to get you in the tournament, but the registration has already closed. In fact, we're about to start the quarter-finals in just a few hours. I'm terribly sorry, pal. Guess your shuttle was delayed? These things happen all the time when you fly cheap, unreliable starlines. If I could suggest something, friend – choose M'zzur Cruises next time! Now, since you're already here, why not watch some fights? We've got one coming up that will be simply amazing! [[But I must fight! It's really important!|intro3]]

As you speak, Steve's mobile phone begins to beep. The man casts you an apologetic glance and picks up the call. STEVE: Hi there, Bob, what's up? Ready for… what? Come on, are you kidding? What an idiot. No, of course not, tell the audience she had to go back to defend her homeworld from an ancient evil, or some other nonsense. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT mention the oysters. Yes, I know. And I think I have a solution. You can thank me later. Yeah, don't cancel the fight. And fire the guy who prepared the oysters. What? I see. Okay, have it reprogrammed then. Yeah, bye. Steve ends the call and sends you a bright smile. STEVE: You're in luck, my friend! Turns out, I found a way to get you in the tournament after all! Isn't that wonderful? And you can help us as well! See, a contestant who was going to appear in one of today's quarter-finals got really sick and is in no shape to fight. So, you can take her place on the ladder. Isn't that awesome? Think about it – you're just three wins from the Big Prize! And, as a bonus, I won't even ask an entry fee from you! Here, just sign the contract! He pulls out a contract and hands it to you. [[Read the contract|intro4]]

Grand Galactic Fighting Tournament Entry Declaration Rules for the participants: 1. You cannot take with you to the Arena objects other than weapons registered before the match. 2. Fighting naked is prohibited. M'zzur Enterprises respects your culture's habits, but we need to ask you to respect our audience's sensibilities as well. 3. In the event of injury and/or death in a tournament match, the contestant and/or their family and/or associates shall not hold M'zzur Enterprises responsible and shall not claim any compensation. Head of the tournament Committee: General Lynda Vox, in name of His Majesty the Chairperor [[Continue|intro10]]

Blood drains from Princess Ochra's face. OCHRA: That's him! The sorcerer! He cursed me, and your cards! Just look at his $pose pose! He's going to <<if $pose == 'threatening'>>use foul black magic against me!<<elseif $pose == 'triumphant'>>win the match by using his tricks and eliminate me from the tournament!<<else>>humiliate me, mock me in front of the crowds, just like he did with Gaaarg!<</if>> Madame Golgadul gives out a very tired sigh. MADAME GOLGADUL: You're a difficult client, Princess Ochra, interpreting everything for yourself instead of letting me do my job. If I were to read these cards, I'd say something… unusual… but positive awaits you… CHUK: I can't let Madame ruin my plan! [[Continue|scam3]]

You position yourself right in front of the metal fencing. Gaaarg lowers his head and charges. You wait and dodge in the very last moment. The crowd gasps as Gaaarg crashes headlong into the solid metal pole. The reptile sways on his feet, then his eyes go blank and he falls to the ground with a loud thud, raising a cloud of dust. [[Continue|fight1winB]]

The audience are silent for a long while. Then they explode with thunderous applause. STEVE: WHAT A FIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WHAT A SHOW! WHAT IMPROBABLE STRATEGY! HOW CLEVER! CHUK CONTROLLED HIS OPPONENT THE WHOLE TIME! HE KNOCKED GAAARG DOWN WITHOUT STRIKING ONCE! YES, GAAARG IS DOWN! IT'S OVER FOR THE TORRARIAN! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NOBODY COULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS OUTCOME, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET AT HIS MAJESTY'S ARENA: SURPRISE! SUSPENSE! SUDDEN TWISTS! HE ARRIVED JUST A MOMENT AGO, NOW HE'S IN THE SEMI-FINALS! LET'S GIVE ANOTHER ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO OUR WINNER, CHUK! THEN, WHY NOT BUY SOME SOUVENIRS AND REFRESHMENTS ON YOUR WAY OUT? [[Continue|fight1win2]]

Steve pats you on the back. Then he leads you to the main lobby. STEVE: When you're ready for your next fight, just come to the vestibule and… He stops mid-sentence as general commotion starts in the lobby. People hurriedly make way for a muscular four-armed woman with brown skin and long black hair. She seems very angry about something and gestures violently while shouting at a plump man in a M'zzur Enterprises employee's attire. FOUR-ARMED WOMAN: Yes, I am sure about it! Do you think I'm joking? I can tell when someone puts a curse on my swords! I sense a dark spirit inside them! I know it's that foul bird-man's doing. He couldn't take defeat with honour! Now, stop staring like an idiot, take the swords and give them to your bladesmith for proper un-cursing, with all the rituals! She hands the man a leather harness holding four sheathed swords, turns back and walks away. The man looks at the swords, confused. STEVE: Hey, Bob! Come over here. [[Continue|fight1win3]]

CHUK: I can't take this monster head on! I must find out if he has some weakness, and come up with a good plan before I try to fight him! Steve notices your expression. STEVE: Hey, don't worry, buddy! It's just a sporting event – you'll be fine! Anyway, do you have any more questions? [[Can you give me some hints on how to take on Gaaarg?|gaaarghintsintro]] [[Is the Chairperor onboard the ship?|intro11b]] [[What's the big prize you mentioned?|intro11c]] [[Can I go anywhere on the ship?|intro11d]] [[What exactly is your job here?|intro11e]] [[Where can I get a good view at that moon towed by the ship?|intro11g]] [[That's all for now. Thanks for getting me in the tournament!|endintro]]

STEVE: Sorry to say that, my friend, but I must be impartial. It wouldn't be fair if I helped one of the contestants. [[But he's three times my size! How is THAT fair?|hesbigintro]] [[All right, forget it.|intro11_2]]

JANITOR: Thanks. [[Do you know where I can get overalls like these?|whereoveralls]] [[Well, I... really like them. Now, back to my questions.|askjanitor]]

JANITOR: Are you a new janitor? ... JANITOR: In the service area. Behind that barrier. CHUK: The one guarded by the big, scary robot? JANITOR: Yup. [[Thanks for the info! Now, back to my questions.|askjanitor]]

You sit down, this time comfortably, in front of a giant TV screen showing a live image of the arena. A few minutes later Steve's amplified voice announces the start of the second semi-final match, a fight between the Cybercricket and Abnormal Joe. The fighters enter the arena, to loud applause from the audience. They both look formidable. The Cybercricket is a huge, muscular humanoid with an insect head. On his bare chest there's a small metal panel with blinking lights, which would look silly on anyone less threatening. The skin on his arms is dark and uneven – or perhaps it's some sort of armour. Abnormal Joe is just as big as the Cybercricket. He looks almost human, save for two huge, opposing palms at the end of each arm. [[Continue|introact3_a]]

The lush greenery is arranged so that it resembles a natural, wild forest. The ceiling is a giant screen that almost looks like real, clear sky. There are thick bushes here and trees with large leaves which form a canopy. [[Hide among the greenery|hide]] [[Back|conservatory]]

CHUK: So calming... [[Back|conservatory]]

CHUK: So calming... [[Back|conservatoryact4]]

The lush greenery is arranged so that it resembles a natural, wild forest. The ceiling is a giant screen that almost looks like real, clear sky. There are thick bushes here and trees with large leaves which form a canopy. <<if $aftervoxtalk>>\ [[Hide among the greenery|hidefake]] <<else>>\ [[Hide among the greenery|hideact4]] <</if>>\ [[Back|conservatoryact4]]

CHUK: "Standard Regulated Tarot Deck, printed by M'zzur Card Company". [[Pick a card from the top of the deck|pickcard]] [[Back|fortuneroom]]

<<set $penthouseagain to true>>You ascend the staircase, which leads to an express lift. The lift takes you to a corridor lined with crimson carpet. The corridor leads to a magnificent penthouse. You cautiously sneak forward and discover there is no one in there, so you enter. The giant room is drowned in a beautiful, pale light. You turn to see its source and gasp. A glass half dome walls the penthouse on one side. Through it you see the Crystal Moon, giant and bright. [[Continue|penthouse]]

CHUK: It seems really happy. I don't want to disturb it. [[Continue|guestwing]]

CHUK: They look very sharp. [[Back|library]]

The overalls are bright red with some minor stains. [[Take the overalls|takeoveralls]] [[Back|storeroom]]

CHUK: Wow, those leeks are so big you could almost use them as weapons! [[Take the leeks|takeleeks]] [[Back|kitchen]]

You wait for Gaaarg in the middle of the arena. CHUK: Here, ugly! Gaaarg roars and charges, but misses by a long shot. He turns and looks around. CHUK: I can't defeat him this way! The reptile prepares for another charge. [[Stand in front of the arena fencing|fight1wina]]

You strike your best $pose pose. Princess Ochra screams in terror, drops the broken leeks and runs away. STEVE: OPEN GATE 1! SOMEBODY HERE WANTS TO GET OUT REAL BAD! The gate opens and Ochra escapes from the arena. STEVE: AAAAND… PRINCESS OCHRA CONCEDES THE MATCH! There is a roaring burst of laughter from the crowd. STEVE: DID YOU SEE WHAT I'VE JUST SEEN? WAS IT SORCERY, OR DIABOLICAL CUNNING? WE MIGHT NEVER KNOW HOW CHUK DID THAT, BUT ONE THING IS CERTAIN: PRINCESS OCHRA WAS ELIMINATED! CHUK HAS DEFEATED YET ANOTHER OPPONENT! YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHUK ADVANCED TO THE FINAL MATCH! WHOM WILL HE FACE IN THE BATTLE FOR THE TITLE AND THE FABULOUS GRAND PRIZE? WE WILL LEARN SOON, AS THE SECOND MATCH OF THE SEMI-FINALS IS SCHEDULED TO START AFTER A SHORT BREAK! IN THE MEANTIME, YOU CAN BUY REFRESHMENTS AND MERCHANDISE IN THE ARENA LOBBY! [[Continue|fight2win2]]

You strike a $wrongpose1 pose. Ochra pales, but quickly gets a hold of herself. OCHRA: I'm n-not afraid of your magic! She advances one step towards you. CHUK: Whoops – wrong pose! <<if $wrongpose1 == 'triumphant'>>\ <<elseif $pose == 'triumphant'>>\ [[Strike a triumphant pose|fight2win1]] <<else>>\ [[Strike a triumphant pose|wrongpose2][$wrongpose2 to 'triumphant']] <</if>>\ <<if $wrongpose1 == 'threatening'>>\ <<elseif $pose == 'threatening'>>\ [[Strike a threatening pose|fight2win1]] <<else>>\ [[Strike a threatening pose|wrongpose2][$wrongpose2 to 'threatening']] <</if>>\ <<if $wrongpose1 == 'jolly'>>\ <<elseif $pose == 'jolly'>>\ [[Strike a jolly pose|fight2win1]] <<else>>\ [[Strike a jolly pose|wrongpose2][$wrongpose2 to 'jolly']] <</if>>\

CHUK: Just give up! You strike a $wrongpose2 pose. OCHRA: N-no! never! I will resist your spell! CHUK: Wrong again? <<if $pose == 'triumphant'>>\ [[Strike a triumphant pose|fight2win1]] <<elseif $pose == 'threatening'>>\ [[Strike a threatening pose|fight2win1]] <<else>>\ [[Strike a jolly pose|fight2win1]] <</if>>\

You smash the left button. There is a flash of light and a loud crack of electricity. The Cybercricket gives out a horrible shriek as he is flung back by an invisible force. His chest plate bursts with sparks. You release the button. THE CYBERCRICKET: Ouch… that… hurt… His chest plate explodes, scattering twisted pieces of metal everywhere, and he drops unconscious. The audience is completely silent. Slowly, you begin to realise you've actually won this fight. You look at General Vox<<if $eject>>, who's back inside the loge<</if>>; she's just as surprised as everyone, but her expression quickly changes into one of cold anger. Steve, on the contrary, is ecstatic. As the audience finally explodes with wild applause, he yells: STEVE: IN-CRE-DI-BLE! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! THE FIRST GRAND GALACTIC FIGHTING TOURNAMENT IS OVER! THE CRUEL CYBORG HAS FINALLY MET HIS MATCH! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT TO YOU CHUK – THE CHAMPION OF THE ARENA! [[Continue|fight3winA]]

<<set $eject to true>>You press the middle button and wait for the Cybercricket to get a nasty electric shock. But that doesn't happen. Instead, you hear the creaking of the spring and a loud scream. You look up and see General Vox dangling outside of the loge. Her panicked bodyguards are trying to get her back up. GENERAL VOX: DAMN... CHEAP... SEAT...! The Cybercricket is still pulling on the bar, which starts to rip from its base. <<if $turrets>>CHUK: Okay... this MUST be the button!<<else>>CHUK: Oh no... which button was it again?<</if>> [[Press the left button|fight3buttoncorrect]] <<if $turrets>>\ <<else>>\ [[Press the middle button|fight3turrets]] <</if>>\

<<set $turrets to true>>You press the middle button and wait for the crack of electricity. Instead, you hear motors whirring as laser turrets rise behind the last row of seats and take aim at the audience! CHUK: No, no, no! You press the button again and the turrets fold down. The audience applaud, thinking it all part of the spectacle. The Cybercricket doesn't stop pulling on the fencing bar. <<if $eject>>CHUK: Okay... this MUST be the button!<<else>>CHUK: Oh no... which button was it again?<</if>> [[Press the left button|fight3buttoncorrect]] <<if $eject>>\ <<else>>\ [[Press the right button|fight3eject]] <</if>>\

CHUK: I want to get the moon towed by the Paradise. The Crystal Moon. I won't accept any other prize. There. You said it. You're surprised by your own boldness and expect Vox to erupt with anger, but she simply says: GENERAL VOX: I am sure His Majesty will grant you your wish, if that is the only thing that would satisfy you. After all, you're his Champion. She gestures to her bodyguard and they ascend away in the loge. You find the ease with which she agreed to your demand worrying. Her assurance seemed insincere. Somebody gently pokes you on the back. You turn and see an assistant robot. ASSISTANT ROBOT: Excuse me, Grand Champion, but you must be exhausted. Please, follow me to the arena vestibule. You walk off the arena to a continuous applause, pasing by another service robot, which unceremoniously drags the still unconscious Cybercricket away. [[Continue|fight3winB]]

STEVE: We've heard Vox shout. Good job disabling her ship, Chuk. I've managed to get the Paradise's engines running, but the controls were locked to Vox's console. You both look at Ochra, who's mashing random buttons on the command console and cursing violently. The ship shakes and starts to change its course – but it does so at a snail's pace. PRINCESS OCHRA: WE'VE GOT MINUTES LEFT! THEY'VE STARTED CALIBRATING WEAPONS! GO FASTER, DAMMIT! Steve's pale, but composed. He takes a deep breath and continues: STEVE: Well, I hoped Vox could stop them, but as things turned out... We don't have enough time to escape the orbit. I'm sorry, Chuk, but looks like this is the end. You look through the window and see the golden orb – the Unstoppable – which now shines almost as brightly as the Crystal Moon. You feel defiance swell inside you. CHUK: No! We still have some time left! We can figure something out! Ochra snarls with helpless fury and steps back from the console. You're all looking at each other. The command console sits abandoned. [[Talk to Steve|steveend]] [[Talk to Princess Ochra|ochraend]] [[Talk to THAT'S DEATH'S ROBOT|deathsend]] [[Operate the console|console1]]