Pansy-ass, huh?! Can’t solve a text adventure, huh?! Need my help?

Then you owe me, Omega, author of this game, $1,000 for each step. That totals to $1,000,000, meaning that you owe me a lot of money AND that I can’t count. MWAAHAAHAAHAAA.

I kid. I kid. Here’s a walkthrough. Any steps that make you receive points has the point value in parentheses at the end. There are a total of 100 points.

  1. You start in Poppet’s bedroom. Open the dresser and take the poetry book. (5)
  2. Read the poetry book.
  3. Take the photograph.
  4. Check it. (2)
  5. Take the bookbag. If your hands start to get too full, you can start shoving stuff inside of it, it has unlimited room. Aaah, so THAT’S how Poppet carries stuff everywhere with him.
  6. Go east.
  7. Take the perfume.
  8. Wear it. (3)
  9. Look in the mirror if you want to see what you look like. Dalix, you sexy bitch!
  10. You can take a bath or play with the sink if you’d like.
  11. Well, now it’s time to work on that gift, huh? If you know the series, you know Poppet and what he’d like. If you don’t, the photo will give you a clue.
  12. Get dressed. It doesn’t matter which outfit you wear, but you’ll want to put on one. You’re wearing nightclothes so you’re not nude, but you WANT to wear something to get the full score. Both outfits are in the cabinet in the bedroom.(10)
  13. Okay, we’re dressed, Dalix. Go south.
  14. Take the box on the coffee table.
  15. You’ll need to open it. It’s locked... and there’s no key. So what do you do? THROW IT, BABY! Throw that bitch at the wall, man! (5)
  16. Take the knife from the now open box. (5)
  17. Thirty score now.
  18. Go south.
  19. Go southeast twice.
  20. Take the heart-shaped card. (10)
  21. Go east.
  22. Take the bolline. (10)
  23. Fifty now.
  24. Well, now that you have the bolline in hand, the cashier won’t let you leave. So you’ll have to do something about it.
  25. Go north.
  26. Take the morning star. (5)
  27. Take the bowie knife. (5)
  28. Attack the cashier with the bloody knife. (5)
  29. Attack the cashier with the bloody knife again. (5)
  30. Take the leather water skin- you’ll fill it full of blood instantly. (5)
  31. Take the key.
  32. Seventy-five now. I think you’re done with presents for Poppet now, so go home.
  33. If you can’t figure out how, I pity you.
  34. Alright, south, west, northwest, northwest, north.
  35. Poppet’s home! Give him the presents, baby- the morning star, the blood, the bolline, the card, and the bowie knife. Each is worth one point. (5)
  36. Now talk.
  37. Eighty now. Ooh- he’s gonna take a shower! Follow him, you dirty boy.
  38. North, east. Enter the tub with him.
  39. Talk to him- the conversations are different here.
  40. Give him a hug. (5)
  41. Do it again if you want, there’s a different reaction.
  42. Give him a kiss. (5)
  43. Kiss him again if you want, different reaction.
  44. Wash his back and hair, if you want.
  45. Now- if you were Dalix, what would you do now? Yes, that’s right. (10)
  46. Awww. That was cute, wasn’t it? You win! Yaaaaay!

Ways to screw yourself over:

There’s only one. Go into the store without the bloody knife.

Pointless things to do:

  1. Put on makeup.
  2. Take the various soaps.
  3. Get yourself some vodka. Dalix loves his vodka.
  4. Wash up Poppet’s back and hair.
  5. Get some candy at the candy store- take all you want, she doesn’t mind.
  6. Shoplift at the boutique.
  7. Give cotton candy rock candy to Poppet.
  8. Eat candy.

And there you go. If you’re offend by the ending, that’s too fucking bad. If you have a problem with two people who love each other making love, then you’re a very sad person.

-Omega